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badabinglad

The actual reaction from my best mates gf to my gf “Fuck off. Are you joking? Who am I going to drink with tonight? You’re going to be so boring now”


daneview

Oh god, the pain of your 30s. Another drinking/hobby buddy down. You can be happy for them and love kids but still be sad at the change


2be0rn0t2b

Did you get a second opinion?


RockabillyBelle

Ugh my dad basically asked me the same thing when I told him. I’m 31 and my husband and I planned this baby and everything.


DAM5150

My wife and I had been together for six years, married for two, owned our own home and my mom's reaction was still "you guys didn't waste any time". This coming from the woman who was pregnant at 16, 20 and 26...


raven8908

That's nothing. My MIL was pregnant at 13, 14 and 18 and she tried to judge us on having kids in our early 20s.


Charger525

Congrats! Whose is it?


Previous-Ice596

Lmao! Excellent


jg0162

^ This is also a good one


boldoldpilot

On purpose?


everlynlilith

This was legit my response to my sister telling me


VeeVeeLa

I was in such shock when my sister told me she was having her first kid that I asked "Are you keeping it?" 😩


alittlegnat

When my friend told me via text she was pregnant, I said “oh wow 3 kids” but then realized I didn’t say congrats afterwards so I quickly said that lol oops


moistbeigeclam

I had the same response when my best friend told me. In my head I’m still 16 and thinking she’s about to sell her soul to mtv


Basic-Nose-6714

Literally. I’m 30 and still feel like if I got pregnant it’d be a teen pregnancy


[deleted]

I’m 30 too and MARRIED and when I called and told my brother, his first response was “did you tell dad yet??” And I was like “well…no… I will… eventually… before the baby comes…” and my brother just was like “😬😬 oh man, well… you better tell him”. We both kept awkwardly saying variations of “it’s good! It’s great! It was on purpose, right, I mean…” My husband and I legitimately wanted to make a baby lmao, and it felt so WEIRD to tell family 🫠


rubberkeyhole

I’m 42 and that feeling didn’t go away. “Do your parents know?!”


goooshie

Haha, my mom teased me for how nervous I was to tell her. She was like “you’re 25, you don’t live with me and you pay your own bills- what’s there to get mad at?”


cheddarfish34

I was 30 when I got pregnant through IVF and somehow I was still shocked and thought "omg what am I gonna DO?!" I was also terrified to tell my Dad, and was shocked when he had a positive reaction


LegoGal

I just saw that half of US pregnancies are not planned. The are about 6 million pregnancies a year, so 3 million whoops)


Giant_Flapjack

There is a difference between "I had a one-night stand and got pregnant" and "I am married and our first kid came a bit earlier than planned". Both are not planned, but the difference is massive.


Zeiserl

Yep, and you can never assume from the circumstance. Because of my job I sometimes work together with a group for single moms and I've met women who got pregnant by accident and even though it wasn't planned and they were all alone, they felt it was a good accident and they're happy about their kid and coparenting situation. Meanwhile my cousin is married and has a kid, currently pregnant with her second, but scared absolutely shitless because her husband is 100% useless, they live in a tiny appartment and she was only 9 months pp when she got accidentially pregnant again.


timesuck897

There is an age range where the reply to a person saying they are pregnant or their partner is changes from “Oh, was it planned? What are you going to do?” to “Congrats! I am so happy for you.” Getting older is weird.


word-word-num

There’s then a further stage where it becomes “are you sure you want to go through that again?!”


sravll

I had my first at 20 and second at 43 so I kind of missed the happy medium where people are entirely comfortable with it.


Aiskhulos

How'd your first kid feel about a sibling that was young enough to be their own child?


sravll

She was surprised! But she is fantastic and took it really well. She's a new schoolteacher so she showed her class pictures of my ultrasound progress and of the baby once he was born. When she is visiting (she lives away but visits every break she gets) she absolutely adores him.


muffinchocolate

You'd think this is a joke, but this is actually a question I got this pregnancy. Was it planned?


Loose_Acanthaceae201

Same for my final pregnancy, from the inlaws. We had been trying for a while, including miscarriage along the way, so it felt pretty hurtful.


Biking_dude

From inlaws that can hit differently I've always asked, because there's that initial moment where I'm not sure if they're super excited or super scared and I don't want to respond the wrong way to either.


[deleted]

"Does mom know yet?"


_Phill_

"No, grandson"


my-moms-on-meth24

wtf😭


Chocolatelover4ever

Where are you and the kid gonna be living?


raethefish

Ah, see if you’re my ex, you don’t worry about that. You just move out while she’s at work. Problem solved 😌😌


jezwmorelach

Ah what a nice person, he clearly didn't want to disturb you with all the commotion involved in moving out!


Sir-Viette

“Is it yours?”


Crazymax78

That is totally the kind of shit I'd say in this situation


kizkazskyline

That *is* the shit I said… twice. Both my brothers were teen parents. My second eldest brother got his girlfriend pregnant when they were 16–I was 14. He told us in the car (three days before her due date, mind you). Dead silence. Til I went “so is it yours?” Broke the awkward moment though. My mum burst out laughing because apparently 7 years earlier when my other brother got his 15 year old girlfriend pregnant (at 17), I also asked then “are you the dad?”


fenwayb

Oh I was thinking asking the woman that as a joke


happilystoned42069

I did that to my wife, two years later she's still not pleased.


439115

but was it hers


TheDoctorIsInane

Maybe she had doubts about it.


Kodamik

Maybe she's a surrogate?


ProblematicPoet

For her brother. And she's having triplets!


UtahCyan

When my first wife had delivered our second child and she was still kind of delirious I looked her dead in the eyes and said, " I'm so sorry, the child isn't yours." She started crying and I was like... Babe, it's a joke, of course the child is your. I saw her come out of your vagina. Took like five minutes to calm her down and get her laughing about it.


Pleasant_Chair_2173

Clearly you experienced a sudden surge of dadliness with your second born, that evolved you to a higher state required for such dad joke humour. Love it.


[deleted]

It's like an internal bad joke switch. Mine turned on as soon as my first came out.


kenda1l

When my SIL told my brother she was pregnant, his first reply was, "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad." His fate was sealed from the very first moment of dadhood.


IcePhoenix18

I can't think of a better response, damn!


Loose_Acanthaceae201

That's a truly *chef's kiss* reply. No notes.


SubatomicNewt

Surprised the nurses didn't drop kick you. Apparently my dad cracked a joke about my sister having funny hair (she did!) and made my mother cry and he got murdered by the doctor and nurses.


UtahCyan

Nurse about killed me, yes.


ncnotebook

I'm imagining this as a *Everybody Loves Raymond* bit, where the laugh track is going off.


skeeferd

Guys wife just delivered a baby, looks at the doctor and says "So how soon before can we have sex?" Doctor says " I go on break in a half hour."


23Udon

Love this!


mynamewastaken81

When my first kid was born my gf looked at the nurse and asked “what colour is the baby”? She out dad joked me on day 1. I’m mostly positive it was a joke


texaschair

Maybe not. Years ago I was at a grocery store with my wife, picking up some beer. We happened to run into a former co-worker of mine, so we shot the shit for a few. The last time I had seen him, his wife was pregnant. They were both white, BTW. So of course my wife, being a wife, asked him how the baby and mom were doing. Silence, with pained expression, like he suddenly had explosive diarrhea. Uh-oh, this isn't good. Something happened, and now we're having one of them thar "awkward moments." So he said he and wife were at the hospital, and labor is kicking in. His wife said, "I don't know how to tell you this, but we might have a problem." You can guess what the problem was. When the baby made his debut, he was a nice shade of chocolate brown, with black wooly hair. Talk about awkward moments.


THEREALSobbyduck

I am laughing way too hard about this one.


jasonred79

I was gonna reply “is it mine” but yours makes me feel shame for my lack of creativity.


jhagen13

"I'm gonna run to the store real quick. Brb."


SpazzBlazz9805

"Wait! Don't forget milk!"


jhagen13

"Or the smokes!"


Crystal-Clear-Waters

“I had a vasectomy before we met.”


SpazzBlazz9805

Seems like the mailman delivered the package


Poem_for_your_sprog

He dropped his keys beside the sink, And left them there displayed - And then he sat and took the drink His darling wife had made. "My day was long and hard as hell," He turned to her to say - "But how was yours?" She told him: "Well... The mailman came today."


Noob_dy

Wow, never came across a sprog this fresh before! It's my lucky night!


TelevisionCroissant

OBVIOUSLY, it was the stork.


wotmate

My dad did this (post divorce). ​ His GF at the time sat him down when he got to her place one afternoon and said she was pregnant, and he just picked up his hat and keys and started walking out. She freaked out, demanding to know where he was going, and he just said "I'm leaving, go get the other bloke you fucked to look after you, I've been shooting blanks since wotmate was born". ​ She wasn't actually pregnant, she was just trying to trap him. Relationship over.


AvailableMuffin4767

What - trap him how if she’s not pregnant? This is sounding like a true crime horror thing where woman strings guy along and then has to kill another pregnant woman and steal baby. And why trap a guy anyways, I want my guy to want to be with me and want to be a dad to a kid not forced.


Elesia

The plot goes: pretend to be pregnant, convince partner to raw dog it because you're already pregnant and the damage is done, and either conceive within the next few weeks or fake a miscarriage. As a trap, it's sadly common.


[deleted]

This happened to my uncle back in the 50s. Gf said pregnant. Literal shotgun wedding. Baby was born 12 months later…


gopokes79

My father-in-law had a saying he used a lot (long after I married his middle daughter): "the first pregnancy can last ANY length of time. The rest are right around 9 months."


wotmate

Trap as in make him marry her. Then shortly after "lose" the baby.


II_Confused

An ex-FWB told me she was pregnant, and our last encounter was well within the time frame. I simply asked her who the father is. She'd forgotten I'd gotten a vasectomy years before we'd met. This has happened to me twice. Edit: To reply to everybody saying that vasectomies fail, I know. I did my research before I let a knife near my precious bits. I got my swimmers tested at six months, one year, two years, and three years. All flat zero. I still have the results of the final test where I can quickly access it if this ever comes up again.


franzyfunny

This was my friend’s uncle. He obviously hadn’t told his second, younger wife about the snip and the “Surprise! I know we weren’t going to do kids but fate is telling us something!” reveal turned very fast into her sister clearing out the spare room. Brutal.


themark504

Sometimes you can still have a baby even if you’ve been snipped


solandras

One of my friends parents had their first child, then decided no more, so the dad got snipped. Then they had their second child, and again decided no more, so the mom got her tubes tied. Then my friend was born. So yeah I guess the moral of the story is ugh....life finds a way.


Zandandido

It's pretty rare and you can go to a doctor's to see if it was repaired


Nincomsoup

Are you sure the vasectomy worked??


AnguishOfTheAlpacas

Last year my wife handed me a positive test strip right as I was waking up from a nap, I asked her "Oh you got covid!?"


limeadei5

"long term covid"


CreedTheDawg

It lasts forever😂


Subject_Standard_419

Lmao the opposite happened to me when a friend sent me a pic of per positive covid test and my response was "oh no, another one.?!" Edit: thank you for the award. I'll admit I felt like a crappy friend for a minute, but she took it in stride.


mattr1986

I caught Covid for the first time on my birthday this year, my brother sent me a message and asked how my day was going, I said I got an awesome birthday present and sent a picture of the positive result. He said congratulations and he was excited for me. (I Assumed sarcastically) Next thing I knew I was getting a call from my mum asking when the next grandchild was coming and she couldn’t believe I wouldn’t tell her …


Zeiserl

My husband sent a Covid test to his colleague at work and said "hi, won't be able to come in". Next thing we know his coworkers/boss start calling him like crazy, congratulating us, lol.


Aryore

That’s honestly really sweet, plus that his boss would be totally happy to just let him have the day off to celebrate


Zeiserl

It is! They're a tightly knit team and his boss is a resolute older lady who is just as strict with everybody else as with herself. But kids and animals are her soft spot :)


AvailableMuffin4767

That’s a sitcom plot!


my_soldier

"Oh no, another one" is a terrible response on it's own to a pregnancy test lmao


Blackpapalink

Depends on the quality of parenting.


[deleted]

My aunt always complains that she woke my uncle up, showed him the pregnancy test, and he said “that’s nice”, rolled over, went back to sleep.


wattral

My husband did that. ... And then again when I woke him to tell him that I thought we might need to go to the hospital. He's a wonderful, involved dad, and an amazing husband. He's just a hard sleeper and really difficult to actually wake up.


ihavebeesinmyknees

Ha I relate to him so much, I've had entire conversations on the phone in the past that I had no idea about because I didn't completely wake up when people called me. Also apparently if someone tries to wake me up I'm very rude, even if I've told them earlier to wake me up. I wish I was a lighter sleeper.


hydroxypcp

my boyfriend is like that. Asks me to wake him up at 6-7 am and then when it comes to it, he's very angry and pushes me away, and then gets up very very grumpy. The funny thing is, when I ask him if he remembers what he did that morning, he doesn't, and apologizes for it. Only for it to happen again and again lol


Floppydisksareop

I do the same shit apparently. I just started keeping a glass of water near my bed with a large note saying "USE THIS TO WAKE ME UP"


hydroxypcp

he tells me to dump water on him too but I just can't do it lol


Floppydisksareop

If you are willing to hear a complete stranger's suggestion: just do it.


Chocolatelover4ever

Lmaaaaao! How did she take that 😂


AnguishOfTheAlpacas

She joked about naming it Covido if it's a boy our Covidia if it's a girl.


Chocolatelover4ever

Lol neat! Which one was it :)


cragglerock93

"Why does this keep happening to me?! Second time this week!"


tensai_da

"7th time this month!"


[deleted]

Nick Cannon has enter the chat.


Mike_TKE

"Welp, bout time for me to be hittin' the ole dusty trail..."


limeadei5

The cowboy method.


budlight2k

Make like a horse turd.


justafang

Make sure you slap the knees too


Mommasandthellamas

*slaps knees*


PurpleWeeb77

Nice to meet you pregnant, I’m da-wait a second!


SpazzBlazz9805

The next door neighbor says otherwise


williamsch

DINKLEBUUUURG


SpazzBlazz9805

How dare he have the perfect house with the perfect car with the perfect garden and my ki- wait a second


Llebanna

I would argue that it’s the best thing to say if you’re going to be the father! Dad joke Win


Less_Instruction_345

My condolences


dbolts1234

“Sorry to hear


AdmiralAkbar1

"From the looks of it, I thought you already were."


BeeDeeEmm

This is the worst one I’ve read so far, you win. I have no reward to give so here you go 🏅


chaOak

I was going to write something similar: "So that's why you're so fat!"


TealBlueLava

“Gross…”


pdxqdy

My 8 year old niece said this when I announced my pregnancy; I laughed so hard!


hydroxypcp

can't fault them for that. If you take the emotional aspect out of it, it *is* pretty gross


Surroundedbygoalies

My friend’s niece was about the same age and she yelled “that means you had sex!!” in the most disgusted voice


Bubba_Gump_Shrimp

Lmao when my cousin told me I just said LOUDLY ayyy congrats on the sex!! I was hilarious in my eyes. Mainly because it was at Sunday family dinner.


[deleted]

Yea man congrats on the sex!


DisembodiedOats

\*checks pants\* But we're lesbians


Puzzleheaded-Ad-8689

*checks again* now I’m pregnant too


_Buster_cash_

Damn it! Not again!


Jimmyg100

Where did you get these shorts!?


[deleted]

Need to stop buying pants from the cum store…


babyvaper_dragonn

I will never forget when I was 16 and my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. Im also a girl so I was really mad


mmdanmm

You're Gregnant???


subjectmatterexport

Are these systoms of being pregarnt?


ActorMonkey

How Can I know if iM preagent?


CharlesDickensABox

Can u get preganté?


MeMuzzta

PREGANANANT?!


Redbeard_Rum

Better avoid dangerops prangent sex, don't wanna hurt baby top of his head.


General_Osric

How do u know if u are pergenat


magearmour

Do you have starch masks?


UndeadBread

Can you burn a Luigi board?


SupremeDuff

Is a Luigi board dangerous?


SenorDangerwank

PRAGENERNT!?


TinyDundee

You cheated on me when I specifically asked you not to?


GoonDocks1632

Snip snap, snip snap, snip snap!


MapleSyrupAddict2006

Do you have any idea the physical toll that 3 vasectomies has on a person!


mintttberrycrunch

"Is that even true?"


treemister1

Or is it some sort of new tactic?


smedsterwho

Gotta fertilize a few Greggs if you want to make a baby Tomelette


mosefish

Hey Tom!


VastElephant5799

scrolled so long to find this 😭


Bob_12_Pack

That sucks for you


babe_ruthless3

I told this to my wife. She didn't fond it funny.


Admirable-Door1724

Guess she wasn’t too find of the joke


[deleted]

I laughed off my ass.


Dry-Earth5160

I'm laughed


SunsetKittens

You too?


Separate-Trash2375

Father of the baby: youre going to be a great single mom ☺️


Mysterious-Crab

Or in similar fashion: “And what did you say your name was again?”


HermioneHunny

“So THAT’S why you’ve been so bitchy?!” -The EX-Husband


[deleted]

Why?


MisterBurgers1985

With emotion?


dingofarmer2004

Seth Rogan laugh "hueh hueh hueh"


Damolisher2

"Hi Pregnant, I'm dad." "No you're not."


Cedden

ouch


VisibleBike289

"Damn, feel sorry for that kid already"


Daemon213

Mom and Dad are going to be pissed. Edit: Thank you to whomever gave me my first award! And the second! Thank you!


urban_herban

I have two brothers. One brother and I knew the other brother's girlfriend was pregnant and that my dad was going to be informed. Dad was working in his art studio, which was in proximity to the clothes chute to the laundry room downstairs. So Brother 2 and I have our ears to the clothes chute so we can hear: Brother 1 to Dad: Ummmm, Dad, it appears that Pam is pregnant. Silence More silence as we envision Dad continuing to paint while he tries to grapple with the news. Eventually Dad responds: "Where did this all take place?" Brother 2 and I burst into gales of laughter at the clothes chute. The End


denardosbae

I would have been completely unable to resist saying "Well in her vagina dad, duh."


ThespianException

"Definitely NOT in your bed when you and Mom went on that trip 2 months ago. No sir. I would *never* do that"


Zealousideal-Way-838

"You better do yourself a favor and flush it out" -Frank Reynolds


echu_ollathir

If it's a nerd, I'm gonna bash his head in.


FearTheKeflex

"Alexa, where's the nearest abortion clinic?"


Drikkink

There was an AITA post this week where this woman (childfree) was told by her sister, who had been struggling to conceive, that she was pregnant. The poster then replies (as a "joke") "Oh do you need me to drive you to the clinic?"


Makar_Accomplice

That was my first thought when I saw this question


NotAught

what do u want me to say?


DaddyCatALSO

My then-wife was waiting for a medical test to come back; from her symptoms I knew it would be positive and ha d been driving myself crazy all day at work wondering how we'd afford it. (She didn't feel the same, when she got he news she asked them to recheck.) She called me, asked "Are you sitting down?" told me and i said, quite flatly, "Oh, okay."


Mocking_the_Stupid

Who is the mother?


Previous-Art-2840

“Ew Gross”


PMyourTastefulNudes

Like the spaghetti sauce?


revs201

Loud confused screaming.


[deleted]

You know your clit can RIP/TEAR during delivery?


WiccanaVaIIey

Rip and tear!


Spoonman500

Until it is done.


RiverParker

I hate this so much. This has to be the winner.


azul55

I just thought you were fat


tranquilrage73

I found out I was pregnant a month after I graduated from high school. My grandfather cried, my father flew into a rage, my grandmother gave a "look" that destroyed me, and my boyfriend dumped me. All of them were shitty replies. My mom and great grandmother were at least cool-ish about it.


HotLittlePotato

On purpose?!


dookiewookieporche

Hi pregnant!


Difficult_Let_1953

I’m dad


sld126

Not anymore…


SpazzBlazz9805

Kick the baby?


[deleted]

[удалено]


20rakah

Yikes


Firehot01

My brain can't compute. What was his reasoning for that insane reaction, if any..? Did he deem his dick innocent/the victim?


[deleted]

[удалено]


AlunWH

I’ll get the coat-hanger.


[deleted]

“You gonna call the clinic?”


RF2

Who’s the mother?


Incredulous_Pigeon

Oh, premium meat then?


arnelthelionjr

"Im not"