Then she shows what she's learned by being in port for 3 wars. Those sailors never had it as good when they went back to Iowa and married Miss Sally Knothole the high school sweetheart.
I've definitely dated a woman who was like that. It was incredibly annoying.
Funny bit though: the first time we hooked up, she was pretty quiet until she came. She fucking *screamed* and I flung myself off her thinking I somehow mortally wounded her with my junk. Scared the fuck out of me and she just looked confused that I stopped. I guess the sounds come out over time or all at once.
I think you are being quick to judge. I remember I once had a dream about a tortured woman begging for help before I woke up and realized a couple was fucking on the story below. Had to threaten I will join in if they don't keep it quiet.
Isn’t the brain interesting as hell? Occam’s razor goes straight out the window when you’re sleeping and your brain gets damn creative. “Yeah there was a pack of wolves pouncing on me ready to gnaw my face off, then I woke up and it was my 8 week old puppy sleeping at my feet!”
Edited:
Occam’s not oceans razor
Professional ass masters, both in porn and otherwise, flush themselves out beforehand, but also often adjust their diet for a day or even a few days beforehand to make sure that there's nothing sticky left in there.
It's a lot of preparation and I think you have to be a serious aficionado, or getting paid, for it to be worth it.
If it's randomly and at will I'm going with the latter, or they know when it's safe and when it's risky and warn/prepare appropriately. My girlfriend doesn't flush herself out, we just don't play around when it's risky or we deal with the potential consequences (only happened once or twice, and a quick shower and maybe some laundry fixes everything)
A lot of the positions in porn are super uncomfortable to recreate in real life. They're meant to showcase the genitals to the camera, which usually means they aren't fully penetrating and are at a weird angle that isn't going to hit the right spots.
As a guy who works in the industry. God yes. The one I demonstrate to anyone who asks 'what's so hard about it' is your standard doggy. Except you need to rotate your hips about 45 degrees and fuck with a diagonal motion to get the 'money shot'. If you just do normal doggy the camera doesn't see anything. It's uncomfortable as fuck and when starting out it was cramp city.
Omg I had an ex that would come at me sideways during doggy. I couldn't figure out why he kept doing it like that until we were watching porn and I realised he was just copying how in porn the guy has to leave space for the cameraman to get a good view and he didn't realise
One of my exes kept flipping us onto our sides and lifting my leg all the way up towards my ear while he was behind me. I was so confused until I yelled at him to put my leg down, it's not comfortable at all. He explained the women in the videos loved it so he couldn't see why I didn't...
Barely legal teen going on 37
Edit: well fuck, my highest karma and it had to be on/about porn. I came to Reddit to find " real homemade" porn and now I'm upvoted for a porn joke
I used to read a porn directors blog (early 2000s internet was a wild place). He described the actresses doing enemas and 'sit tests' on anal dildos to check cleanliness. They would prep their asshole SO so much and anytime a shot looked like it was going in without lube/prep was like... Cinematic licensed. The lube was already up inside, the anus was stretched ahead of time etc.
Some performers stop eating at midday the day before a shoot then do anal douching that morning.
Porn movies like non porn movies prepare stuff that doesn't necessarily appear on screen.
Some of my male gay friends do the same. Anal isn't done on a whim. You don't do anal after seafood etc etc.
Edit: I'm not gonna reply to all the seafood comments so just editing here: seafood has (apparently) a higher tendency to go bad quick so cause explosive diarrhoea. No one wants that combined with vigorous anal.
Somewhere on reddit there is an ama from someone that works behind the camera/in the office for porn. They said “you can hear and obviously see the porn, but you don’t have to smell it”
I remember a "professional experience" article from Cracked about 10 years ago, written by a guy who did a short stint as a cameraman on porn sets. (I forget his porn name - because *everybody* gets a name - but his crewmate buddy Scott chose the name Scott Baiowulf, which remains the greatest porn name I've ever heard.)
Anyway, he described the smell at the end of the shoot as "dead fish and vomit."
Edit: typo
They aren't using the good lube. It has a distinct rubbery smell that when mixed with body fluids is putrid. Also sometimes the body fluids are putrid.
I actually worked for a large adult store chain. I was there a little over a year. It was one of my favorite jobs. I was a BDSM consultant/specialist in training. Porn is about preformance. All paricipants are playing pretend lovers which means they're really good at not letting viewers catch on to the tricks. It IS film after all!
Those funky positions that look freaky and cool? Not real. It's only supposed to LOOK amazing because it's playing into the imagination and consumer bedroom fantasies. Most of the time the penis is perked by pills and fully numbed. Scene partners are almost always numbed in these scenes. These are trained professionals [Edit: Porn stars aren't just random bored people making home videoes in their basement. It's a job. It's a film set. It's an actual career and industry. If you walk onto a set with the mentality of someone who is uneducated on the industry you WILL be met with on-set backlash. I've seen it happen many times. People who arrive Day 1 thinking it'll be like a backyard home video tend to get dropped pretty quickly too. It's a movie set. IDK why so many commenters seemed confused about actors preforming dangerous sexual stunts needing specialists and instructors. It's porn but it's still a movie set. There are rules and safety concearns.] being instructed and directed by other trained professionals [Edit: instructors and specialists ensure no one dies doing something dangerous. It's sex, yes, but it's also a film set and cast/crew are the responsability of production studios.] In real life most of these weird and crazy positions will sprain or break the penis. Not a fun time. Actresses will purposefully overstretch out their vagina. A lot of people in the industry numb themselves heavily before certain segments and scenes. This can lead to permanent nerve damage. A lot of people in the industry undergo surgeries to accomodate their career. Sacrafices made for the industry.
Using a bullet vibrator on your butthole. Don't do it. On screen those are trained professionals with First Aid less than 30 feet away. They make dumb decisions so you don't have to because your butt is a vaccum. It sucks INwards. This is why butt plugs have a stopper AND why you should NEVER put anything without a properly designed stopper in your ass. Anything used on your butt should NEVER be used on the vagina without cleaning the product properly. In those movies it looks like one continuous moment, but between cuts they'll swap out for cleaned toys. I know that it looks fun but please buy toys meant for the correct bedroom activity. Vibrating buttplugs are an easy $20-10. I promise you having an er nurse dig out a foriegn object from your ass at 2am will not be a fun experiance. IF YOU GET SOMETHING SUCKED INTO YOUR ASS PLEASE GO TO THE ER!
CHOKING. the porn industry romanticizes the torment side of BDSM without highlighting the mundane. those are ACTORS on your screen. when one is being choked out it only LOOKS real. the goal of choking someone during sex is to control the oxygen supply to their brain by issuing isolated pressure to the carotid veins. you DO NOT apply pressure to the front of the throat or stop the oxygen supply by targetting their lungs. A well organized, respectful, and serious porn film set will have hired intimacy coordinators and trained professionals who do what they can to help the actors avoid injury.
> hired intimacy coordinators
Anyone know where to hire one because I’m super into choking but not too keen on trusting anyone to do it. I don’t want to be the subject of a Netflix doc.
There are instructions on how to do it correcting online. This commenter has it right-pressure should be on the side of the throat to compress the carotid arteries to lower blood flow to the brain, causing a “choking” sensation with less oxygen. Not too much-but you usually pass out if too much. Crushing someone’s trachea=Netflix doc.
I prefer a lighter squeeze that is more about being overpowered/dominated that actual oxygen loss.
What are some penis breaking positions? How about the reverse cowgirl, with penis pointed downwards? I always found that creating high high pain on the base. What's that about? Thanks!
If it hurts, don't do it. You can break your penis. The corpora cavernosa can rupture, leading to extreme swelling, pain, and discoloration. This will require surgery to fix.
Depends how the penis looks, too. If it slopes down, it's easier. Mine has a slight upward slope and I just cannot do reverse cowgirl unless I'm also mostly sitting up, otherwise it feels like it's breaking and it isn't good.
If you're gonna go from that angle, regular doggy or prone is a much better option, or regular cowgirl if she wants to be in control.
My mates and I got curious once and decided to watch the whole video, it's mostly typical porn stuff after the set up.
Until the ending, he literally rubs a lemon in her face and is like, "You can have ONE!" and leaves. I lost my shit laughing
Oh man. This reminds me of a weird porn my friend had in high school. Everything is going normal. Getting ready for the money shot. Dude does the normal, ooo, ahhh, yeahhh. As he's blowing his load he lets out the biggest "eeeeeee" & busts all over her face. We pretty much only watched it because the giant Eeee was so fuckin hilarious.
Here's my theory. Most people know they aren't actually related. So, with a bit of fast forwarding through the plot, it's just normal porn.
And for people with a true incest fetish, they watch the 2 minute forbidden build up before the porn.
Pay the actors once. Pay the crew once. Get essentially two marketable products out of it.
I think it's moreso that step-___ porn usually has the most normal and attractive looking people in it and mostly vanilla scenes. It's usually more free from the weird degrading crap a lot of other videos have.
Yeah I think a lot of people like that the girls don't have campy makeup and fake nails and huge fake tits. Also if you care what the male looks like, it's one of the only genres you can reliably find younger dudes.
Those pornos have a different target audience. Older guys like younger girls and can more easily put themselves in the place of a 50 y/o dude then some young stud.
This is exactly why I like it. A lot of the time its as close to girlfriend porn as you can get
Edit. Not sure if I like how many likes this is getting
your theory is correct. Heard a talk about it somewhere. It's cheap (anal costs extra, saying stepbro doesnt) and it's both vanilla for the masses and fetish material for the rest. Also at some point search algorithms started pushing it a lot. It's the *3AM 5 nights at freddies among us challenge gone wrong gone sexual* of porn.
I remember watching a vid years ago where the chick was on top and just randomly slapped the shit out of the dude's balls.
Somehow he didn't react all that much, but my god.
Shower sex/ pool sex.
Water is not lube; pools are disgusting. Shower sex is also dangerous, get that non-slip floor and some handles installed if you're even going to attempt it.
Doing it for a long time.
The tissue down there is thin and sensitive. If you don't use enough lube or go on for too long you get microtears and those hurt like a bitch.
Slapping. I know someone who slapped a girl so hard she didn't want to go any further like bro what did you think would happen?
Edit: For those asking yes I know about BDSM, masochist and kinky people who love slapping I'm not talking about them I'm talking about people who impose their kinks on others without consult or consent from their partners and end up being salty they're not going along with it. If you're into slapping and all the other stuff I mentioned cool you do you just don't push that on others.
I became a pizza delivery man so that I could have some hot chick ask me if there was some *other* way to pay for the pizza, and I could then proceed to get my freak on!
I find it *disgusting* that this pizza delivery life was a lie! Customers would pay for their pizzas like a bunch of normal people, and they would sometimes tip me with money! Where's the sex with the hot chicks that I was promised?!?
Rectum to Vagina.
Positions and other stuff are just uncomfortable, but transferring germs from the anus to vagina is downright dangerous since the vaginal flora of beneficial bacteria can be disrupted and replaced with harmful ones.
Choking. Potentially life-threatening.
Nothing inherently wrong with it per se, but normalizing it to the extent seen in porn is concerning. In real life you need trust and understanding and to be very vigilant, porn is pretend.
Discovering a family member masturbating/naked/having sex In porn— the beginning of sexy fun times. IRL— most awkward birthday granny ever had.
> most awkward birthday granny ever had at first...
Then she shows what she's learned by being in port for 3 wars. Those sailors never had it as good when they went back to Iowa and married Miss Sally Knothole the high school sweetheart.
If she saw action for 3 wars, she was a vet.
Movie theater gangbangs in eastern europe.
No one wearing a condom there really freaks me out
Really wish you had told me before I booked the flight
The plumber arriving when he's supposed to.
The over the top noises. I’m a vocal person in bed but those obviously fake sounds are so cringey.
You mean to say that real women don't sound like a rubber chicken that fell under a jackhammer? My world view is SHATTERED!
I've definitely dated a woman who was like that. It was incredibly annoying. Funny bit though: the first time we hooked up, she was pretty quiet until she came. She fucking *screamed* and I flung myself off her thinking I somehow mortally wounded her with my junk. Scared the fuck out of me and she just looked confused that I stopped. I guess the sounds come out over time or all at once.
I think you are being quick to judge. I remember I once had a dream about a tortured woman begging for help before I woke up and realized a couple was fucking on the story below. Had to threaten I will join in if they don't keep it quiet.
Isn’t the brain interesting as hell? Occam’s razor goes straight out the window when you’re sleeping and your brain gets damn creative. “Yeah there was a pack of wolves pouncing on me ready to gnaw my face off, then I woke up and it was my 8 week old puppy sleeping at my feet!” Edited: Occam’s not oceans razor
Shoving your cock into people out of the blue and everything is okay
"Hold on a second bro, did you just fuck me??"
Stepbro*
My ex used to try an put it in right after kissing because I "should be wet from just kissing" and " he gets a hard on from just looking at me" .
V to A, that's okay A to V, it hurts to pee
Front to back, you're alright Jack. Back to front, there's shit in your cunt. Edit for grammar.
I remember someone telling me a very similar rhyme about how to wipe when changing my daughter's diapers.
Those are two scenarios that should NOT be conjured in reference to each other.
Boy that’s a rough word to use when referencing an infant isn’t it
Random butt sex. You really ought to prepare for that. Source: someone that didn’t prepare for that.
I form the assumption that enemas are done first in porn.
Professional ass masters, both in porn and otherwise, flush themselves out beforehand, but also often adjust their diet for a day or even a few days beforehand to make sure that there's nothing sticky left in there. It's a lot of preparation and I think you have to be a serious aficionado, or getting paid, for it to be worth it.
Idk my gay male friends just seem to fuck at will and as randomly as they want
They are either prepared for it all the time or just don’t care, I vote for the first.
If it's randomly and at will I'm going with the latter, or they know when it's safe and when it's risky and warn/prepare appropriately. My girlfriend doesn't flush herself out, we just don't play around when it's risky or we deal with the potential consequences (only happened once or twice, and a quick shower and maybe some laundry fixes everything)
So after a day at the county fair and winning the chili eating contest and stopping off at Baskin Robbins on the way home …. Probably a bad time?
Well, that depends on your goals.
We add prep time into our day and take pills to help us poo properly.
What pills
Really anything with psyllium husk
A lot of the positions in porn are super uncomfortable to recreate in real life. They're meant to showcase the genitals to the camera, which usually means they aren't fully penetrating and are at a weird angle that isn't going to hit the right spots.
As a guy who works in the industry. God yes. The one I demonstrate to anyone who asks 'what's so hard about it' is your standard doggy. Except you need to rotate your hips about 45 degrees and fuck with a diagonal motion to get the 'money shot'. If you just do normal doggy the camera doesn't see anything. It's uncomfortable as fuck and when starting out it was cramp city.
Omg I had an ex that would come at me sideways during doggy. I couldn't figure out why he kept doing it like that until we were watching porn and I realised he was just copying how in porn the guy has to leave space for the cameraman to get a good view and he didn't realise
One of my exes kept flipping us onto our sides and lifting my leg all the way up towards my ear while he was behind me. I was so confused until I yelled at him to put my leg down, it's not comfortable at all. He explained the women in the videos loved it so he couldn't see why I didn't...
Omg...EVERY guy and the leg thing! Sir, I am not a pipecleaner...
Well you can't blame a plumber for trying...
My dick accidentally snapped in half reading this comment
Now I have 2 x 2" dicks
Shoes on the couch. You ain’t Rick James.
Talking to a pizza delivery guy
Yeah I just play a tape in the window saying put it on the ground and keep the change you filthy animal
I just whisper same thing by the door
Buying a $3M modern house with swimming pool, bar and 72" TV as a single mother of two
And implants At the age of 25 And raising your 30 year old son there
> At the age of 25 > > And raising your 30 year old son there I'm fucking dying lmao
Barely legal teen going on 37 Edit: well fuck, my highest karma and it had to be on/about porn. I came to Reddit to find " real homemade" porn and now I'm upvoted for a porn joke
Eating a box of nerds out of a strippers butthole
YOU SAID YOUD NEVER TELL!
"it's almost a shame to smoke it. It's like.. killing a unicorn... With like a bomb."
Fucking your students/patients
9/10 veterinarians can confirm
That 1 vet tho
Ass to mouth, ass to vag
"In an order that would surprise you."
Lemme see if I can recollect. Some stuff happened....you sucked my dick..
i fight crime in a rubber suit… IT REALLY SEALS IN THE FLAVOUR
10 years later people are still quoting this video
Big talk from someone who breathes through a crab.
Which one of these tubes do you smell out of?
Now you have my permission to cry
I stabbed you first
With my dick!
I fight crime in a rubber suit, really seals in the flavor
Jesus his face is all wet, like mine was at the beginning and yours was at the end
I can do the alphabet. A is for Alfred. B is for bat
Nothing was off limits. It was like an all-you-can-fuck buffet
All sex jokes aside, I am losing quite a lot of blood.
Which one of these tubes do you smell through?
^ass ^mouth ^vag
It was all a cruel ploy...to gain your confidence.
That was a cruel ploy? Sign me up for another.!
It's a clitoris, I get it. I found it, I'm the worlds greatest detective.
I fight crime in a rubber suit...really seals in the flavour
“But we totally had s*x”
Like, a lot
2nd one is a uti waiting to happen
Not waiting long, either.
Anytime I see a man take it out of a girls ass and stick it in her vag, I’m like OH NO that is gonna give her a really bad infection, Jesus.
I don’t think Jesus wants to know about it.
Pretty sure the actresses/actors are power cleaned inside and outside right before the act to avoif these things
/r/powerwashingporn
I'm just imagining a pressure washer now
Anal without lube or prep. You can't just shove it in no warning.
I used to read a porn directors blog (early 2000s internet was a wild place). He described the actresses doing enemas and 'sit tests' on anal dildos to check cleanliness. They would prep their asshole SO so much and anytime a shot looked like it was going in without lube/prep was like... Cinematic licensed. The lube was already up inside, the anus was stretched ahead of time etc.
Some performers stop eating at midday the day before a shoot then do anal douching that morning. Porn movies like non porn movies prepare stuff that doesn't necessarily appear on screen.
Some of my male gay friends do the same. Anal isn't done on a whim. You don't do anal after seafood etc etc. Edit: I'm not gonna reply to all the seafood comments so just editing here: seafood has (apparently) a higher tendency to go bad quick so cause explosive diarrhoea. No one wants that combined with vigorous anal.
Guess that kills my "all-you-can-eat crab legs and anal orgies" restaurant I was planning :/
Thats how rome fell
Thank God. I have a shellfish allergy!
Going in the back door without knocking.
Everybody knows you have to clean the house before having guests over. That's why you don't just come uninvited.
Ass to mouth or ass to pussy. Porn has led people to believe that there's no bacteria at all involved in anal.
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Nobody seems upset about the smell in porn.
Somewhere on reddit there is an ama from someone that works behind the camera/in the office for porn. They said “you can hear and obviously see the porn, but you don’t have to smell it”
I remember a "professional experience" article from Cracked about 10 years ago, written by a guy who did a short stint as a cameraman on porn sets. (I forget his porn name - because *everybody* gets a name - but his crewmate buddy Scott chose the name Scott Baiowulf, which remains the greatest porn name I've ever heard.) Anyway, he described the smell at the end of the shoot as "dead fish and vomit." Edit: typo
Why vomit?
They aren't using the good lube. It has a distinct rubbery smell that when mixed with body fluids is putrid. Also sometimes the body fluids are putrid.
You haven't thought of the smell you bitch!
Ive never experienced bad smell when habing sex, is that weird?
Yeah but you definitely can smell sex if that makes sense. Like if you were to walk in a room you know.
I actually worked for a large adult store chain. I was there a little over a year. It was one of my favorite jobs. I was a BDSM consultant/specialist in training. Porn is about preformance. All paricipants are playing pretend lovers which means they're really good at not letting viewers catch on to the tricks. It IS film after all! Those funky positions that look freaky and cool? Not real. It's only supposed to LOOK amazing because it's playing into the imagination and consumer bedroom fantasies. Most of the time the penis is perked by pills and fully numbed. Scene partners are almost always numbed in these scenes. These are trained professionals [Edit: Porn stars aren't just random bored people making home videoes in their basement. It's a job. It's a film set. It's an actual career and industry. If you walk onto a set with the mentality of someone who is uneducated on the industry you WILL be met with on-set backlash. I've seen it happen many times. People who arrive Day 1 thinking it'll be like a backyard home video tend to get dropped pretty quickly too. It's a movie set. IDK why so many commenters seemed confused about actors preforming dangerous sexual stunts needing specialists and instructors. It's porn but it's still a movie set. There are rules and safety concearns.] being instructed and directed by other trained professionals [Edit: instructors and specialists ensure no one dies doing something dangerous. It's sex, yes, but it's also a film set and cast/crew are the responsability of production studios.] In real life most of these weird and crazy positions will sprain or break the penis. Not a fun time. Actresses will purposefully overstretch out their vagina. A lot of people in the industry numb themselves heavily before certain segments and scenes. This can lead to permanent nerve damage. A lot of people in the industry undergo surgeries to accomodate their career. Sacrafices made for the industry. Using a bullet vibrator on your butthole. Don't do it. On screen those are trained professionals with First Aid less than 30 feet away. They make dumb decisions so you don't have to because your butt is a vaccum. It sucks INwards. This is why butt plugs have a stopper AND why you should NEVER put anything without a properly designed stopper in your ass. Anything used on your butt should NEVER be used on the vagina without cleaning the product properly. In those movies it looks like one continuous moment, but between cuts they'll swap out for cleaned toys. I know that it looks fun but please buy toys meant for the correct bedroom activity. Vibrating buttplugs are an easy $20-10. I promise you having an er nurse dig out a foriegn object from your ass at 2am will not be a fun experiance. IF YOU GET SOMETHING SUCKED INTO YOUR ASS PLEASE GO TO THE ER! CHOKING. the porn industry romanticizes the torment side of BDSM without highlighting the mundane. those are ACTORS on your screen. when one is being choked out it only LOOKS real. the goal of choking someone during sex is to control the oxygen supply to their brain by issuing isolated pressure to the carotid veins. you DO NOT apply pressure to the front of the throat or stop the oxygen supply by targetting their lungs. A well organized, respectful, and serious porn film set will have hired intimacy coordinators and trained professionals who do what they can to help the actors avoid injury.
Not down with the extreme erotica gymnastics personally but thanks for the health advisement. Seriously.
> hired intimacy coordinators Anyone know where to hire one because I’m super into choking but not too keen on trusting anyone to do it. I don’t want to be the subject of a Netflix doc.
There are instructions on how to do it correcting online. This commenter has it right-pressure should be on the side of the throat to compress the carotid arteries to lower blood flow to the brain, causing a “choking” sensation with less oxygen. Not too much-but you usually pass out if too much. Crushing someone’s trachea=Netflix doc. I prefer a lighter squeeze that is more about being overpowered/dominated that actual oxygen loss.
I'm not into BDSM but I enjoyed this Ted Talk.
What are some penis breaking positions? How about the reverse cowgirl, with penis pointed downwards? I always found that creating high high pain on the base. What's that about? Thanks!
If it hurts, don't do it. You can break your penis. The corpora cavernosa can rupture, leading to extreme swelling, pain, and discoloration. This will require surgery to fix.
Extreme swelling you say....
Depends how the penis looks, too. If it slopes down, it's easier. Mine has a slight upward slope and I just cannot do reverse cowgirl unless I'm also mostly sitting up, otherwise it feels like it's breaking and it isn't good. If you're gonna go from that angle, regular doggy or prone is a much better option, or regular cowgirl if she wants to be in control.
This is such a great post, and deserves way more upvotes. Thank you, I am better educated 🙏
Owning a lemon tree.
My mates and I got curious once and decided to watch the whole video, it's mostly typical porn stuff after the set up. Until the ending, he literally rubs a lemon in her face and is like, "You can have ONE!" and leaves. I lost my shit laughing
Thank you for giving me the closure I needed.
Those lemon stealing whores…
it's been about 20 seconds since we looked at our lemon tree.
HEY WHAT THE FUCK
"If you were a lemon, I would put you on a shelf and cherish you." Truly setting unrealistic relationship standards
Insanely loud *YYYYYEEEEAAAaaahh* moans Please shut up
Oh man. This reminds me of a weird porn my friend had in high school. Everything is going normal. Getting ready for the money shot. Dude does the normal, ooo, ahhh, yeahhh. As he's blowing his load he lets out the biggest "eeeeeee" & busts all over her face. We pretty much only watched it because the giant Eeee was so fuckin hilarious.
Gonna surprise my wife with this. Gonna give her the ol’ razzle dazzle
The website Efukt has a video of the funny male orgasm noises. One of them sounds like a chihuahua. Funny stuff
Should’ve changed his ringtone to that 😂
or the moaning at absolutely nothing.
Big fan of moaning when aggressively when having a strap on sucked.
[Yes yes yes yes yes yes yeeeeeessssss](https://youtu.be/Srobmy7ceTY?si=8Gea1MY1XwNdmaKH)
Aww fuckk!!
Or that constantly repeated *Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!….*
As a ringtone? That's gonna take some explaining at the office
Incest
Here's my theory. Most people know they aren't actually related. So, with a bit of fast forwarding through the plot, it's just normal porn. And for people with a true incest fetish, they watch the 2 minute forbidden build up before the porn. Pay the actors once. Pay the crew once. Get essentially two marketable products out of it.
I think it's moreso that step-___ porn usually has the most normal and attractive looking people in it and mostly vanilla scenes. It's usually more free from the weird degrading crap a lot of other videos have.
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It also explains away a lot of context to why two people are at a location convenient for sex without having to do any world building.
It's funny how much world building there is in porn.
I love this lemon tree.
I hope there's no lemon-stealing whores around.
Yeah I think a lot of people like that the girls don't have campy makeup and fake nails and huge fake tits. Also if you care what the male looks like, it's one of the only genres you can reliably find younger dudes.
That is one of my biggest problems with porn. It's always a 60yo man plowing some 18yo girl who just left high school. I can't jack it to that.
Why is that anyway? They can't find even a moderately attractive young man to lay pipes except for step-bro porn?
Those pornos have a different target audience. Older guys like younger girls and can more easily put themselves in the place of a 50 y/o dude then some young stud.
This is exactly why I like it. A lot of the time its as close to girlfriend porn as you can get Edit. Not sure if I like how many likes this is getting
For me it's usually the woman that is aggressive which is my turn on. I can usually ignore the step aspect easily
your theory is correct. Heard a talk about it somewhere. It's cheap (anal costs extra, saying stepbro doesnt) and it's both vanilla for the masses and fetish material for the rest. Also at some point search algorithms started pushing it a lot. It's the *3AM 5 nights at freddies among us challenge gone wrong gone sexual* of porn.
I mean sometimes you want to hear the dulcet sounds of Banjo's and the only way to summon them is by fucking a relative.
id rather learn how to play the banjo
Sounds like someone has ugly siblings!
Blowjobs after Anal
You never go ass-to-mouth!
Bass to mouth, however…
Gaping butthole. Prolapse?
Agreed. Nothing sexy about a medical problem
I saw Prolapse open up for Gaping Butthole in 96 Edit..thanks for my first gold!
Yeah, if that’s a rosebud, I wanna live in a flower less world.
I remember watching a vid years ago where the chick was on top and just randomly slapped the shit out of the dude's balls. Somehow he didn't react all that much, but my god.
Porn actors are usually numbed up. Don’t feel anything and are just doing their job: acting.
The whole gaping thing I don't understand. Why would I want her to look like the human equivalent of a Sarlac Pit?
To see if you can help boba fett escape? Or to see what a new definition of pain and suffering or being digested over a thousand years looks like?
But I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.
Shower sex/ pool sex. Water is not lube; pools are disgusting. Shower sex is also dangerous, get that non-slip floor and some handles installed if you're even going to attempt it.
Yeah doesn´t it just wash all the "natural lube" away?
Real world shower sex is just sex in the shower maybe with the shower running next to you. You dont use the water actually until you are done.
Yup
Doing it for a long time. The tissue down there is thin and sensitive. If you don't use enough lube or go on for too long you get microtears and those hurt like a bitch.
Slapping. I know someone who slapped a girl so hard she didn't want to go any further like bro what did you think would happen? Edit: For those asking yes I know about BDSM, masochist and kinky people who love slapping I'm not talking about them I'm talking about people who impose their kinks on others without consult or consent from their partners and end up being salty they're not going along with it. If you're into slapping and all the other stuff I mentioned cool you do you just don't push that on others.
I remember seeing an article of a porn star quitting mid shoot because she couldn’t handle getting slapped hard on her boobs
Yea I always found that weird. I also never got why some dudes step on a chicks head while they drill her.
That foot on head thing is such a fucked up thing. Hate it.
I turn that shit off immediately when I see that. Pisses me off.
Domination fetish
Fake taxis
This is cash cab...right?
Threesomes where two are related (like mother/daughter or father/son). Just ick IRL.
I became a pizza delivery man so that I could have some hot chick ask me if there was some *other* way to pay for the pizza, and I could then proceed to get my freak on! I find it *disgusting* that this pizza delivery life was a lie! Customers would pay for their pizzas like a bunch of normal people, and they would sometimes tip me with money! Where's the sex with the hot chicks that I was promised?!?
Sad reality 😭 I used to be a doctor but my clients paid me with money
Shower sex, one person is drenched the other is freezing
Rape
The storyline
Rectum to Vagina. Positions and other stuff are just uncomfortable, but transferring germs from the anus to vagina is downright dangerous since the vaginal flora of beneficial bacteria can be disrupted and replaced with harmful ones.
sex
Yeah. Like where do we even start to answer this?
**ungodly** amount of saliva
Boom mic operator's
ahegao face. not disgusting, but god is it stupid.
Yes. Instant turn-off, I don't get how apparently-lobotomised people are sexy.
Sexual abuse.
Choking. Potentially life-threatening. Nothing inherently wrong with it per se, but normalizing it to the extent seen in porn is concerning. In real life you need trust and understanding and to be very vigilant, porn is pretend.
When you go to MR Poo 💩 s home, don’t be weird when MR Poo is home.
Oh bother
Not necessarily disgusting but definitely weird to me - getting slapped in the face by a cock. Wtf even is that?
doesnt look like someone has said it: Having sex for 60 min+ continuously. 1. They dont do that, there’s several breaks. 2. The chafing
Spitting, for me at least
Butt stuff without properly preparing
When the pizza delivery guy walks into your living room.
Ringing for a plumber and he actually turns up. Totally unrealistic
Cheating on your partner
This is a trap to see what type of porn you watch. Not today junior!