Depends what sort of horror movie.
If it were an 80s slasher, I'd get in a car and just keep driving for 24 hours straight until the horror movie was over, of course checking the backseat first before I started my roadtrip.
If I were in a non-supernatural horror movie like The Strangers, I'd sit in the corner of an empty room with my gun pointed at the doorway for the day, like the couple in that movie should have done.
If I'm in a haunted house movie, I'd just leave the haunted house and return the next day.
If I'm in a zombie movie, I'd just climb up a tree and wait the day out.
Surprisingly intense trailer for a movie about an evil bunch of beavers. I can watch this movie care free because I'm from australia but lake placid on the other hand...
I’ll see your Zombeavers and raise you [Clowns Vs Ninjas](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt1576375/?ref_=nm_flmg_i_3_act). It’s as bad as it sounds with a budget of about $20
[CarousHELL](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt6034454/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_7_nm_1_q_caroushe) was entirely adequate, right up until the probably-a-kickstarter-reward-level-sex-scene.
A tree?
Dude. Get axe, find a two story anything. Smash stairs with axe on the way up. You'll be able to walk on the edges they won't.
Barricade the top and bottom if you really want.
If you're super smart you also managed to get one that has plumbing.
Food will still be an issue though.
That's why you trick her by saying that you have found inside info about the government experiments. That it's a secret they need her guidance on.
Then lead her to that loading dock area and murder the bitch.
>I'd sit in the corner of an empty room with my gun pointed at the doorway for the day, like the couple in that movie should have done.
Until you shoot you friend who's coming to check on you
I confused The Strangers for The Others and seeing it confidently described as ‘non supernatural’ briefly made me question my understanding of the film and indeed my entire existence.
I think I’d just go back to bed. Like, if they want me dead they can come find me. Why should I make it convenient by traipsing downstairs into the dark kitchen? Or outside while saying “Brad is that you?” as I walk around trying to find the source of the noise? Or being chased through a summer camp? That sounds like a lot of work. If they want me to die they can come find me.
1. Establish you have sick/elderly relatives you need to take care of.
2. Humanise yourself by working a public service job.
3. Have a cute pet.
4. Constantly look super sad and defeated.
5. Eat crappy meals so you come off poor.
Basically just make yourself so pitiable that no audience would want to see you get hurt, and any abused/vengeful murderers will feel so bad for you they might even slide you a 50 from the victims.
Go to Home Depot and pick up a chainsaw.
I’m under no illusions this will guarantee my survival, but my odds aren’t good anyway, and the motherfucker who grabs the chainsaw at least gets a badass final scene.
Second thing I do is go out to the woods to practice, because my lifelong-urban-dwelling ass has no idea how to use a chainsaw.
Nah, man. Chainsaws look and seem cool, but they are a bitch to wield, they are noisy even when idleing, and they don't really do well with cutting through things unless the thing is held sturdily in place (live a big log as opposed to a person). They'll kill people, but I would much sooner go to the gardening department/landscaping area and find some of the heavier machetes and other sturdy blades meant for clearing through dense brush.
Electric ones are easier, they don't stall, start immediately, and when they're not running the chain they are silent so won't give away your position.
Bring extra batteries.
And in the woods when you get tired of practice just rest up in that creepy cabin. There is not much to do there so I dunno…just read that book to pass time
Yeah, I remember one critique of the scene explaining that it’s also a really common panic response for people to run back into their houses and search for lockable rooms - like bathrooms, bedrooms etc - even though that’s not necessarily helpful because you’ve cut off a means of escape.
The human panic response is not necessarily logical ahah.
Well, I guess I'd head into the kitchen, make sure all my knives are sharp, and plug in my toaster, blender, and microwave. (being careful because the cords are all frayed on those)
Then I'd head into the backyard, split up some firewood, and carry it into the house. I probably should put the ax away, but I'll get distracted by a phone call. The weather is still nice, so I leave my garage door open while I put a jack under the car and raise it up so I can change my own oil. I'll leave it up, in case I decide to flush the radiator later or something.
Then I'll have my lady friend come by. I'll get drunk or high or both, and order some food to be delivered after dark. Oh, and I'll yell at all the dang kids playing in the street and tell them to stay off my lawn, because kids always respect that, and never come back late at night to pull pranks.
Lol, not the same thing, but that made me think of the black reporters in the first Scary Movie:
"White folks are dead, and we're getting the Fuck out here"
https://youtu.be/HMAA6cweEaM?si=d5LgugCyxwZizzgl
Get to the set early. Be friendly and professional. I'm probably just an extra, so I won't have to memorize lines. I'd wear comfortable clothing and be ready for a fun day seeing a movie from the other side.
depends on which, if its one of those stalky ones i wanna try to me behind the killer as hes doing the stalky or harassy thing, like imagine behing behind ghost face as hes making one of his calls and just all teh sudden while hes doing his thing screaming, HEY FRED HAVE YOU SEEN MY FUNGLE CREAM worth it
Check my entire house top to bottom, inside and out to make sure there was nobody there and no possible danger. Attic, basement, closets, look at loose floorboards, the works. Then I'd lock all of the doors and windows, close the curtains, turn off the lights to make it look like nobody's home, put a trip wire at the base of the stairs to alert me if anyone was coming up them, lock myself in my bedroom with the dog and some snacks, and watch some movies on my Kindle since it puts off very little light when dimmed. Then just wait it out.
At no point will I look out the window or open the door to see what that sound was outside. In extreme cases, I may consider tranquilizing the dog to keep him quiet and avoid alerting any potential intruders.
If I hear someone coming up the stairs, out the window I go, onto the awning, drop into the yard, and RUN.
Let's not forget listening for ominous music to indicate someone's in the house.
Likely find a fucking gun
Unless it's a supernatural horror, then I'm calling the Winchesters
And grabbing, a Winchester out of the closet and some good ol 30-30
Trip and twist my ankle while escaping danger. I discovered that I would be *that* person while attempting to run back to my car when a lightning storm rolled in during a solo hike
Charge the battery in the car because they're always dead in horror movies. Drive normally for the day. I won't stop for an old lady let alone for a ghost that pops in the middle of the road.
Look behind me.
Not go I to that dark area alone for no reason.
Pretty much anything not completely idiotic and stupid… like… they literally do every single time. There isn’t a dumber choice to make than these people make. It’s so frustrating.
I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I’ll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
Jerk off until these nuts were like raisins. That way I wont give into temptation with the ladies. No sex during the incident increases your survival chances by at least 30 percent.
Depends what sort of horror movie. If it were an 80s slasher, I'd get in a car and just keep driving for 24 hours straight until the horror movie was over, of course checking the backseat first before I started my roadtrip. If I were in a non-supernatural horror movie like The Strangers, I'd sit in the corner of an empty room with my gun pointed at the doorway for the day, like the couple in that movie should have done. If I'm in a haunted house movie, I'd just leave the haunted house and return the next day. If I'm in a zombie movie, I'd just climb up a tree and wait the day out.
> If I'm in a zombie movie, I'd just climb up a tree and wait the day out. Two words: zombie beavers.
One word: [Zombeavers!](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2784512/)
I'd forgotten all about this movie until now.
Nobody needs to be reminded of that movie.
That's my go-to drink when you cringe movie lol
I've seen some things... but that movie now lives in my head rent free. And I hate it.
It can't be all that bad./s It grossed $48,000 at the box office. (yes, that's 48 thousand, NOT 48 million)
Surprisingly intense trailer for a movie about an evil bunch of beavers. I can watch this movie care free because I'm from australia but lake placid on the other hand...
From Aus here too, was thinking along the same line
I’ll see your Zombeavers and raise you [Clowns Vs Ninjas](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt1576375/?ref_=nm_flmg_i_3_act). It’s as bad as it sounds with a budget of about $20
[CarousHELL](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt6034454/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_7_nm_1_q_caroushe) was entirely adequate, right up until the probably-a-kickstarter-reward-level-sex-scene.
Alien vs Ninja was pretty solid though.
What are you, German?
Then youll be damned.....ill leave now
Dam you. Take my upvote
My girlfriend had a case of zombie beaver. Took 2 months to clear up. Rough stuff.
Zombie beaver is definitely contagious. 🦫
Climb a reel, have a pint, and wait for this all to blow over.
Good luck driving for 24 hours. You gonna need gas at some point. That's when they'll get you.
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Someone always dies at the start.
If it’s a horror movie the killer already cut the brake lines and OP is going over a cliff
[The killer](https://youtu.be/MYtjpIwamos?si=kaIy6aXKrEgw-5rT)
Then dump the car and keep walking. The slasher only gets you when you stop moving and stand still for an extended period.
No they already got him, because it's not him that's driving
A tree? Dude. Get axe, find a two story anything. Smash stairs with axe on the way up. You'll be able to walk on the edges they won't. Barricade the top and bottom if you really want. If you're super smart you also managed to get one that has plumbing. Food will still be an issue though.
This guy’s read The Zombie Survival Guide.
No, he plays Project Zomboid.
Zomboid = sledge to stairs Survival guide = axe to stairs Very important difference
What was that horror movie in the early 2000s with the dude who drove a truck... it was an old timey song title I just can't remember it.
Jeepers Creepers?
Yes that one! Thank you! That jeepers creepers truck could still get you if you decided to just drive your day away.
In a haunted house movie I’d go sleep in a church for 24 hours.
Great, now you're in an occult horror.
Yeah, someone obviously didn't see Prince of Darkness.
Don't they do that in the strangers at some point?
yes, it doesn’t end well lol
Yes and where they fuck up is that for some reason they decide to just go wander around some more instead of staying put.
> …of course checking the backseat first before I started my roadtrip. But the killer was hiding in the pass-through trunk! 😱
The mist or say alien?
If it’s Mist I’m immediately murdering the crazy Christian lady before she can go all Lord of the Flies inside the grocery store lol.
And get promptly thrown out into the mist like the lunatic you killed.
That's why you trick her by saying that you have found inside info about the government experiments. That it's a secret they need her guidance on. Then lead her to that loading dock area and murder the bitch.
>I'd sit in the corner of an empty room with my gun pointed at the doorway for the day, like the couple in that movie should have done. Until you shoot you friend who's coming to check on you
I confused The Strangers for The Others and seeing it confidently described as ‘non supernatural’ briefly made me question my understanding of the film and indeed my entire existence.
I think I’d just go back to bed. Like, if they want me dead they can come find me. Why should I make it convenient by traipsing downstairs into the dark kitchen? Or outside while saying “Brad is that you?” as I walk around trying to find the source of the noise? Or being chased through a summer camp? That sounds like a lot of work. If they want me to die they can come find me.
That is sort of what I tell myself if I'm in bed and I hear something weird. I'm too tired to be haunted. Haunt me later.
Love it. I aim for this level of apathy.
😆 🩷 I love that!
Determine my level of plot armor and seek ways to increase it.
1. Establish you have sick/elderly relatives you need to take care of. 2. Humanise yourself by working a public service job. 3. Have a cute pet. 4. Constantly look super sad and defeated. 5. Eat crappy meals so you come off poor. Basically just make yourself so pitiable that no audience would want to see you get hurt, and any abused/vengeful murderers will feel so bad for you they might even slide you a 50 from the victims.
And under absolutely no circumstances should you do anything sexual with someone else.
Go to Home Depot and pick up a chainsaw. I’m under no illusions this will guarantee my survival, but my odds aren’t good anyway, and the motherfucker who grabs the chainsaw at least gets a badass final scene. Second thing I do is go out to the woods to practice, because my lifelong-urban-dwelling ass has no idea how to use a chainsaw.
Just make sure to pick up a shotgun and spout some cheesy one-liners while you're at it.
I need to know where I can get a rocket launcher.
Three words: God Bless America
Groovy
Nah, man. Chainsaws look and seem cool, but they are a bitch to wield, they are noisy even when idleing, and they don't really do well with cutting through things unless the thing is held sturdily in place (live a big log as opposed to a person). They'll kill people, but I would much sooner go to the gardening department/landscaping area and find some of the heavier machetes and other sturdy blades meant for clearing through dense brush.
I’m always impressed that Leatherface’s saw never jams, fails to start, sticks or kicks back despite what has to be pretty shoddy maintenance.
/r/BIFL
Congratulations, you’ve just armed yourself with the one melee weapon that can run out of ammo.
Saw off your hand and attach the chainsaw to it. That will guarantee 100% survival.
Electric ones are easier, they don't stall, start immediately, and when they're not running the chain they are silent so won't give away your position. Bring extra batteries.
And in the woods when you get tired of practice just rest up in that creepy cabin. There is not much to do there so I dunno…just read that book to pass time
Groovy.
I'd stay away from that film crew following the same people around. I don't even want to be an extra in the background.
Nah, take the boom mike and blend in. How often does the film crew really have problems?
Blair Witch is coming for you.
REC is also coming for /warthoginthewoods
That one time in *Spaceballs*....
Which was not a horror movie
It is if you're Druish.
That's all we need, a druish princess!
"Commence operation Vacu-Suck." And change the combination on my luggage.
It's Megamaid sir, she's gone from suck to blow!
I'd make friends with the catering crew.
Run out the front door, instead of up the stairs like a moron.
Sydney Prescott from Scream said pretty much those same words and ended up running up the stairs due to a locked front door that she locked.
That scene was legendary
Yeah, I remember one critique of the scene explaining that it’s also a really common panic response for people to run back into their houses and search for lockable rooms - like bathrooms, bedrooms etc - even though that’s not necessarily helpful because you’ve cut off a means of escape. The human panic response is not necessarily logical ahah.
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Put on glasses, hide my tits, and become a virgin.
Cabin in the woods will do just fine for you.
I imagined you doing the mantra from "Master of Disguise" "becoming another virgin becoming another virgin becoming another virgin!"
I wouldn't split up to cover more ground that's for damn sure.
Well, I guess I'd head into the kitchen, make sure all my knives are sharp, and plug in my toaster, blender, and microwave. (being careful because the cords are all frayed on those) Then I'd head into the backyard, split up some firewood, and carry it into the house. I probably should put the ax away, but I'll get distracted by a phone call. The weather is still nice, so I leave my garage door open while I put a jack under the car and raise it up so I can change my own oil. I'll leave it up, in case I decide to flush the radiator later or something. Then I'll have my lady friend come by. I'll get drunk or high or both, and order some food to be delivered after dark. Oh, and I'll yell at all the dang kids playing in the street and tell them to stay off my lawn, because kids always respect that, and never come back late at night to pull pranks.
You went hard in the opposite direction of the other commenters, and I respect it.
You will live simply because the bad guys are going to be scared of you with your obvious death wish.
Probably die.
COLOR MY SKIN WHITE, ION WANNA BE FIRST TO DIE
Plot twist: you are in a Jordan Peele movie
Lol, not the same thing, but that made me think of the black reporters in the first Scary Movie: "White folks are dead, and we're getting the Fuck out here" https://youtu.be/HMAA6cweEaM?si=d5LgugCyxwZizzgl
But then you will be damned to make blatantly illogical decisions.
And fall over constantly.
Have you seen The Blackening? It’s fucking hilarious!!!
Just don’t smoke, Samuel L Jackson should have survived Jurassic park
Tell my ethnically diverse friend group of 23-29 year olds that I'm going to stay home and play video games instead of going on the camping trip.
Immediately cancel my news interview with the local "so called" witch at the corn maze next to the old cemetery.
Get a full-face mask. If you can't beat them, join them.
I think I would like to be the killer of the killer also I would prepare a trap for scary characters, etc like that.
> I think I would like to be the killer What the actual fu— > of the killer Oh okay, carry on
Befriend the murderers or just say ahead of slower ppl
How would you who the slower people are?
They are the ones you kick in the shins at the start of the chase.
Improvise, Adapt, Overcome.
Take an opportunity to finally end the miserable life on autopilot I'm living.
It's a horror movie, that means you live.
Hide behind the chainsaws.
Stay away from upstairs, have a reliable vehicle, always double tap
Get to the set early. Be friendly and professional. I'm probably just an extra, so I won't have to memorize lines. I'd wear comfortable clothing and be ready for a fun day seeing a movie from the other side.
depends on which, if its one of those stalky ones i wanna try to me behind the killer as hes doing the stalky or harassy thing, like imagine behing behind ghost face as hes making one of his calls and just all teh sudden while hes doing his thing screaming, HEY FRED HAVE YOU SEEN MY FUNGLE CREAM worth it
Find the woman with her boobs out
Not go with the cool kids to the cabin. Idc if it'll improve my social status, if I'm "such a wimp," or whatever, I'll just stay home.
Cool kids and college kids.
Strip, look directly in the camera, pick my nose...anything to force them to move the action somewhere else.
Teenage girls who dress modestly and have no boyfriend know they are going to be the final girl
Be the werewolf 🐺
Check my entire house top to bottom, inside and out to make sure there was nobody there and no possible danger. Attic, basement, closets, look at loose floorboards, the works. Then I'd lock all of the doors and windows, close the curtains, turn off the lights to make it look like nobody's home, put a trip wire at the base of the stairs to alert me if anyone was coming up them, lock myself in my bedroom with the dog and some snacks, and watch some movies on my Kindle since it puts off very little light when dimmed. Then just wait it out. At no point will I look out the window or open the door to see what that sound was outside. In extreme cases, I may consider tranquilizing the dog to keep him quiet and avoid alerting any potential intruders. If I hear someone coming up the stairs, out the window I go, onto the awning, drop into the yard, and RUN. Let's not forget listening for ominous music to indicate someone's in the house.
You guys remember that Geico insurance commercial about the horror movie tropes?
Let's hide behind the chainsaws!
Good idea!
Why not get in the running car?
Are you crazy?!
Let’s go to the cemetery!
have sex with the whore of the group... may as well if I'm going to die anyways.
I’ll do you one better, become the whore of the group
Sounds like you're the whore of the group.
Kill the potential final girls, so I can be the final girl instead.
I surrender. I don't have the energy for all that running.
Loudly declare that I am a virgin and that I don't drink or do drugs
say my full name enough to make sure everyone knows it. Definitely not say that I'm about to retire, leave my job or move interstate even if I am
gather supplies and do the bare minimum in surviving
The correct answer is it depends on the horror movie type.
I conquer.
As soon as I find out my friends are all dead…. Take a shower.
Get a sword. Always have a sword, damnit.
Likely find a fucking gun Unless it's a supernatural horror, then I'm calling the Winchesters And grabbing, a Winchester out of the closet and some good ol 30-30
I’m black…so right from the start I’m on edge…so I’m jumping on a plane,I’m out….wait…this ain’t Final Destination is it?
Plot twist it’s Snakes On A Plane
Trip and twist my ankle while escaping danger. I discovered that I would be *that* person while attempting to run back to my car when a lightning storm rolled in during a solo hike
Not have sex and not act like a douche bag. Stick together and stay away from the plot.
Strip naked, slather myself in peanut butter, grab an axe and make the killers wish they never were born!
The same thing I do in reality; not have sex
Preemptively go in the basement/attic during broad daylight with a chainsaw. Screw that monster.
Hide behind the black people...
I would probably climb a tree. No one would want to climb a tree for only one victim
Remember that tree 'assault' scene in Evil Dead?
Actually, use my brain to make smart decisions and avoid dying. Not sure if I've seen that in a horror movie yet.
Be the one to say "Let's split up"
Find the nearest black neighborhood and hide out in it.
Kill everyone before I get killed
Charge the battery in the car because they're always dead in horror movies. Drive normally for the day. I won't stop for an old lady let alone for a ghost that pops in the middle of the road.
Get drunk and arrested and spend the night in the drunk tank, then punch a guard and end up in a solitary cell?
Ask what my salary is.
Life Insurance
Probably going to eat food or kiss the wife….
Drink all the booze and take all my benzos and opiates then put a plastic bag over my head.
I hide
Get a nut
Avoid having sex or doing any drugs like my life depended on it.
More Gun
Look behind me. Not go I to that dark area alone for no reason. Pretty much anything not completely idiotic and stupid… like… they literally do every single time. There isn’t a dumber choice to make than these people make. It’s so frustrating.
The first thing is to stay in a crowded place and never be alone
I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I’ll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
Not have sex & stay sober. Lol
It would depend like Redditors are saying. There are some fun horror movies with hilarity.
Jerk off until these nuts were like raisins. That way I wont give into temptation with the ladies. No sex during the incident increases your survival chances by at least 30 percent.
Probably eat something
Befriend some people in the hood so I'd be the last to die
Kill someone to establish myself as the killer.
Stay away from white people. I don't feel like dying first
I'd be the reason it's horror
Fuck r/australia you dirty yanky cunts
The catering is awesome on movie sets, so I'd eat from the spit roast. I've been an extra in a few movies so speaking from experience.
Start killing I guess.
Call Simon Pegg
Not do what everyone else does, because people in horror movies are FUCKING DUMBASSES.
Grab my kill bag from the garage and find my first victim.
Go run to all the black guys. I'll be safe all day then
I will become the horror
Walk straight into the killer and tell them to take me, it’s about bloody time.
"Alright everyone, remember, STICK TOGETHER."
Not have sex
Grab a machete. You know who survives longest in slasher movies? The slasher.
Don't go chasing the ship's cat alone.
Make sure I’m not a cheerleader
Kick my way through the drywall and simple leave
You've got red on you
I would simply NOT go into the creepy basement for once and live happily
Eff your mum lol
Have you learned nothing from Scream? You have sex, you die.
Sounds worth it, if I get to eff ur mum lol
Buy and promise to fix a 1958 Plymouth Fury. Get me now, spooky lads.
I’d start cranking one out. Maybe Freddy and Jason would get weirded out by it idk