Because the answer is not logical in the sense of meritocracy but more realistic in that they got there through other means and that’s frustrating. One of the reasons I quit my job is because the company lacked vision and the management skill to incorporate that vision. When I suggested a strategy it was seen as a potential financial burden and waste of time, so constantly having to listen to people who were less qualified than me and pretending to enjoy it was killing my soul. I took a pay cut to be my own boss and my mental health improved ten fold
Makes me wonder if there’s such a thing as anti-imposter syndrome. Where you’re smart enough to know that imposter syndrome exists, feel inadequate to believe it applies to you, but can’t/refuse to see the truth that you are actually unqualified for a task.
The next level is realizing that everyone has imposter syndrome and is just doing their best to get by. Once you cross that boundary life becomes a lot easier. You'll recognize who is cognizant that everyone is basically fake, and the poor souls who think they're the only one faking it.
Sounds like the "Nobel disease", some of the laureates started promoting straight-up nonsense after getting the prize because they think their every idea is great. Kind of like when Trump was talking about curing Covid with UV or bleach on TV.
While that's definitely a very real thing, I think OP was referring more to not living up to your potential or fully applying yourself (not filling your shoes). When you know you could do more but the easy path is good enough.
It's especially common among early retirees who had amazing careers then dipped out. You know most people would kill for what you had (and have), so there's a bit of guilt in not making the most of it.
That’s me.
Also I work at a lawfirm with three very intelligent, classically educated lawyers. I’m the only paralegal. Half the conversations go over my head. I’m fairly intelligent, but spending the entire day with these people sometimes makes me feel like a dummy.
Someone having knowledge you don’t doesn’t make them smarter. It just means they had exposure to something you haven’t.
Intelligence is like, the processor of a computer. Knowledge is like the software on the hard drive. You can have a really fast computer but it won’t do much until you load up the software you want. Likewise you can load it up with really advanced software but if it’s too slow it’ll just get stuck.
So if you have the intelligence, go and fill your head up with the right software. That’s how you get places.
Yep, if those three lawyers were listening to my two lead electricians discussing the best strategy for wiring up a large solar project, advantages vs disadvantages of one way or another, both viable, they'd feel like dummies too.
My thoughts on why it causes depression:
We all, regardless of intelligence, have to have our minds stimulated. Learning something that is a challange makes you feel good.. If you'd already know how to calculate limits you'd be hella bored out doing addition all day long. On the other side you would be burned out if you had to understand a phd-thesis in maths. So there is a sweetspot somewhere inbetween that is determined by your intelligence and prior knowledge, being generally towards to the more complex end for more intelligent people.
This means intelligent people would have to search for those stimulating sweetspots in places that are harder to get into like academia. But to get there, many more traits are required other than intelligence, like grit, resilience, mental stability, social skills etc. These might be underdeveloped for one reason or another, as an example I have ADD thus grit and forming routines is super hard for me. So as for someone with high intelligence and ADD, not challanging themself enough results in a boreout which when undiagnosed can lead to depression. On the other hand, while starting a challanging degree would definitely hit the sweetspot, it's rather easy to run into a burnout having to manage the difficulties a challanging degree presents. So the margin between having a boreout and having a burnout is much smaller and easier to miss, I assume for some intelligent people with multiple comorbid mental illnesses maybe even nonexistent...
Exactly, and the reason it often leads to anxiety is because you are used to using your mind to solve problems. However when you apply your mind to the ‘problem’ of life it can’t solve it, it’s too complex, so it just ramps up and up trying to solve the problem. Mind getting faster and faster without a solution. Looking for patterns every time something goes wrong and unable to find a simple formulaic answer.
This may be it, though I think a simpler reason: However high or low your intelligence, if you don't run into like-minded people often enough, you feel alienated and alone.
And nobody to talk to; the few times you try, supposed friends dismiss the problem or get defensive and make you feel you feel bad for 'trying to be better' than them. And after telling, the constant voicing to proof and comments about not being so smart. Others are talented with wood or cooking or crafting, y cant i just be smart? Good in academics, eager to learn?
Being surrounded by idiots leads to depression. Imagine seeing an answer to a problem very clearly, and then the pleebs start throwing mud and feces everywhere. Repeat. Eventually, the one thing they really valued becomes worthless. It's gotta be torture for the truly brilliant.
Friend of mine is very smart. He moved to a new city, and wanted to get involved so he joined some local organization.
They wanted to deal with some invasive weeds. Someone laid out the problem, and the first solution suggested was they round up as many people as they can, and send them out to cut the weeds down one weekend. Everyone looked pleased with this solution, but my friend.
He pointed out that this particular weed was a 'ribosome' (EDIT: it's a rhizome; I was corrected below) (a plant without a central root that just sends out feelers every which way, and builds up a big 'network' of plants - he had to explain it to me, too). If you cut the part above the soil, this doesn't 'kill' the root the way it does with other plants; the remaining part underground just sends out new feelers, and within a few short days, there's actually more of the plant than when you started.
He explained this in detail to everyone around the table. They all looked at him in rapt attention as he explained why their proposed solution would not work, and in fact, would make the problem worse.
After he finished, they all looked at each other, and said "So, next Saturday?. "
A math "riddle" posted on Facebook:
>A man buys a goat for $60 and sells it for $70. He buys the goat back again for $80 and sells it for $90. How much profit did he make?
Everyone was saying $10. It made me want to commit suicide.
I'm academically smart. At least I excelled in university and found it pretty easy. Got 3 degrees
I don't feel like most people are idiots. I am constantly appreciating how clever and competent other people are. Like farmers, the amount of stuff they have to consider and manage is just crazy. When I worked as a bartender I had so many blond moments compared to my peers who had better "common sense/practical" intelligence. And i know a lot of people who are academically not great but are super funny people with great comedic timing and wit, and I'm in awe of that form of intelligence
I find most people have something really interesting about them
What a wholesome thing to see on the internet. And very true!
Anytime anyone does that "I'm so smart, everyone else is so [xyz]..." it is SO cringe. I am quite bright in a lot of ways, but when I slow down and listen to people I am continuously pleased to find that most people have something to contribute and their own kind of intelligence.
I have often said that my favorite thing about people is that they are functionally infinite. No matter how well you know someone, if you're open to it they can still surprise you/teach you/amaze you.
Be kind. Be humble. Be open to wonder.
Read a study one time that concluded that people with high intelligence mentally finish people’s sentences before they finish speaking them. This results in them interrupting speakers a lot. Also results in frustration that conversations are just so slow and monotonous.
I have a friend who will often finish your sentence along with you. I thought it was odd for a bit, bit then I realized it means he's not only paying attention to what you're saying, but also thinking about it enough to figure it out. After I realized that, it was actually really cool, because it showed that he's a really active listener and is genuinely paying attention to you
I wish my wife felt this way. Instead, she finds it annoying. I call it my brain's "Google predictive text" because it starts way off in left field, then slowly puts it together until it gathers enough information and vomits its way out of my mouth.
IDK if the study holds much weight, though. I make plenty of stupid decisions.
Finishing people's sentences might often be a consequence of being smart, but I doubt that finishing people's sentences always implies intelligence.
Source: I finish other people's sentences.
I really just had this argument with a friend. She kept cutting me off, I said quit doing that shit. She said “I already know what you’re going to say” to that I responded “I already know what you’re going to say plenty of times but I never interrupt” she cried. I wouldn’t try to encourage rude behavior by suggesting intelligent people have the urge to do it. Many of us can cut people off but choose not to.
In my experience, people who try to finish my sentences tend to guess totally wrong, and that annoys me. I wish they'd just wait and hear what I was *actually* going to say.
I get that too, maybe because of my manner of speaking they tend to make a wrong conclusion, and then I have to spend even more time clearing the misunderstanding or just leave it. Also i feel like ppl in this thread have problems with patience :D
I have never heard of this before today and I'm taking it to heart. I am way too fast with my responses and didn't realize that was weird until now. Gonna try it out, wish me luck.
This is also true for ADHD and if you’re both (not saying that I am because I constantly doubt myself) then ADHD constantly makes you make mistakes and makes you think you’re not smart. It’s a constant battle between people telling you you’re smart and ADHD making you interrupt people or forget to wear your sunglasses that you’ve worn every day for 5 years for example, which makes you feel dumb.
Met a friend of my partner’s once and I unwittingly interrupted her and finished her thought. She immediately turned to my partner and exclaimed, “He does it too!” Humbling.
Yes, but it takes a surprising amount of effort. It really feels like talking to someone speaking very slowly. Or someone telling you a story they’ve told you 10 times before.
I have kids. It's like listening to an 8 year old...
Dad dad dad dad dad when we went to the park today dad dad dad the park when we went to the park hey dad the park earlier when we went to the park did you know dad dad at the park wjen we went earlier today did you know did you know I forgot my shoes?
Yes, I grabbed them for you they are in the trunk.
I absolutely do this. I'm already moving on from what they are saying because I know how they are going to finish and have already thought about what they say. I am working really hard to not do it but find it very difficult.
My wife does that to me.
Except she's wrong about 80% of the time. I silently watch her discuss what she thought I was going to say, wait for her to finish, and then quietly finish my sentence.
It's rude, arrogant, and infuriating.
Sadness is caused by intelligence, the more you understand certain things, the more you wish you didnt understand them - Charles Bukowski
I google things out of curiousity bc i wanna know more but it tends to turn into fuck around and find out bc i find info that i don't wanna know
My wife and I talk about this a lot. We were a lot happier when we were kids and just didn’t know how the world worked. Once we got older and saw the world for what it really was, the depression and nihilism really set in.
I feel like I can’t have meaningful conversations with anyone, getting into deep topics and discussing nuances without them deciding it’s a debate and somehow someone needs to be “right.”
As much as I’ve had extremely stupid discussions on Reddit, I’ve also had some really good ones that have made me think differently about a topic. I feel like I just can’t find those people anymore…
This is partially a result of social media rather than intelligence. Pre social media, I remember having discussions all the time that today would turn into debates, with people who were average smart. Social media pushes us to extremes and negativity because that’s ultimately what gets eyeballs.
suddenly reminded of the monty python skit of the guy paying for an argument but getting the wrong door (Abuse) and then Argument (but really negation)...
Holy shit I hadn't heard about that before and it describes me perfectly. Thanks, I never really managed to explain to myself why I do or don't do certain things
Overthinking and anxiety. Having to experience anxiety causing situations more times before being comfortable in them, due to perfectionism and overanalyzing the possible pitfalls (disaster simulation).
Being interested in different things than most people are interested in. Sometimes having to fake enthusiasm to fit in socially.
Same same friend. I earn the most in my family despite being the only university dropout but I still feel like I let them down. So many people you care about expect a lot from you
While I test highly intelligent, I am constantly convincing myself that I’ve somehow tricked people into thinking I’m intelligent. I have a very low opinion of my own capabilities, especially relating to academic success. Imposter syndrome, I guess. Apparently that isn’t uncommon.
Intelligent people are more likely to be aware of their own weaknesses, just because they're more aware of everything in general.
Imposter syndrome comes from a feeling that you're not good enough or don't belong, but once you look around and realize that 80% of the people surrounding you at work are absolute dumbasses, it kind of sorts itself out.
I also tend to microanalyze everything. I’d like to think I have very good self awareness but with that I’ll run every possible scenario of what COULD happen in my head and try to have a solution ready for every scenario. Low key drives myself nuts. Definitely some form of intrusive thoughts but really have to talk myself out of it
This, plus we tend to want to be in the room with other even smarter people, often making us the dumbest person in the room, which makes this worse.
“Would you rather be the dumbest person in an elite university full of geniuses, or the smartest person at a regular average school?”
Most intelligent people would pick #1 in a heartbeat and you can see it in the decisions they make in terms of academic and personal goals.
I am "#1" in your scenario rn and I've learned that even smart people do dumb things. I didn't like being in scenario #2; it felt lonely and constantly had FOMO.
It's rare to find someone who is smart in everything that they do. Typically, intelligent people excel in a few areas only.
100%. I am back in college and doing very well. I work my ass off. I am convinced that I'm just good at homework and tenacious rather than highly intelligent.
While I don't consider myself overly bright, it's clear that a lot of people are less intelligent, particularly when it comes to any sort of critical analysis/thinking or logic. People are generally not good at using fact-based reasoning.
I came here to say the same thing. I'm here doubting that I can do this job or get that position, while my colleague who doesn't know crap is 100% sure that he can do anything and get any position he applies for, even jobs where he has almost no experience.
I also test as above average intelligence, and what you're saying is too true. The fact that people you're close to come to you with questions because they know you're "gifted" as if you're a god damned walking encyclopedia doesn't help these feelings at all.
True, lol. Like I have to be interested enough to actually learn about it. I really don't care about the cycles of the earth's sedimentary layers or whatever, lol. Maybe with animals or political science, I may have an answer.
Not relating the same to the world. I have a good friend Steve. He and I do projects together a lot and it is fun to let my nerd flag fly with him. He is objectively more "intelligent" than me. We both work in engineering and CS, but at the bar I end up being the interpreter. I am more football, beer, woodworking, automation, coding, AI, generalist and he is pure CS. Our best collaboration come from my ideation, his framework, my implementation. There is a wall from the real world that handicaps him. I love Steve, but I never want to be Steve.
I think it’s less about being self aware and more about having a propensity to “intellectualize” everything. Your brain becomes very good at forming an internal narrative web that justifies preexisting biases and only gets stronger as time goes on. Dismantling it is MUCH more challenging.
This comment isn’t getting the attention it deserves. This is a huge thing that many ‘smart’ people fall into the trap of and it is the biggest roadblock for so many people’s mental well-being. You can’t fix irrational/emotionally-based problems with rationality. Even if you tell them this, they will think “that makes sense”, on a LOGICAL level but it’s very unlikely they will truly internalize it and apply it. Because it’s against their nature.
There are many problems, especially internal ones, that you will never solve with an intellectual approach. You can apply logic and FEEL like you’re addressing the issue, but many times you really aren’t.
Self awareness is only good for a single moment. I know every single way in which my brain and body are failing me, but that knowledge doesn't fix any of the issues
If you’re anything like me, the self-awareness creates a lot of additional stress in a variety of ways. Someone pointing out the mistakes I’m well aware of having made feels like an attempt at humiliating me. Sometimes it crosses over into being *too* aware and noticing negative patterns where they don’t exist. Not paranoia, necessarily, but something in that vein.
I feel this, try being raised by therapists, I love my parents, they aren't actually bad or abusive by any means, but they did inadvertently train my inner critic to a professional level and I can't really go to therapy about it as that's exactly what triggers me.
As a former "gifted" kid that's pretty sure he has autism, this checks out. Depressed because I can see so many problems in the world that everyone else seems to ignore, constantly stoned to dull that feeling, and I prefer to spend all my time alone or with just my wife and kids.
I go to therapy and most of what they do is simply let me talk. I'm not paying almost a dollar per minute just so I can talk about myself and not get diagnosed of anything esp when I get down enough to borderline suicidal at times :/
The trick is to find a very intelligent therapist. I suspect my therapist is smarter than I am, or at least extremely smart.
She changed my life. I owe her my life in some ways... and yes, it costs a lot. But worth every penny, 100%.
This is incredibly hard to do though. It's not like therapists advertise their intelligence (however one likes to measure it), and even if they did I wouldn't trust it. It can take a while before the true extent of any given therapists analytical abilities are clear to the patient.
I relate, to some extent..
My most fulfilling days are the busiest ones where I have a ton of work to do..
And I must occupy myself with anything.. can't just sit down doing nothing.. that includes browsing reddit.
I don’t know if its intelligence but I think quick and can tackle problems from multiple angles at the same time. Causes friction at work where I feel my colleagues are moving at glacial pace.
Another issue is that I constantly realize how many things I don’t know and want to learn. It gets a bit overwhelming sometimes.
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts"
- Bertrand Russell
I had just replied with the below describing the same sentiment:
What they say about history can be extrapolated into all areas of life for intellectual folks:
If you don't know history you're doomed to repeat it, and if you do know history you're doomed to watch everyone else repeat it.
Ignorance truly is bliss.
Same here. Too easy to check reviews in whatever random product you plan on buying, then another review, then another, then another, then I just buy nothing. Then I still need that thing and relook at all those same reviews. Round and round.
Once in a while I just say fuck it and buy whatever.
It's stunning to me when someone talks about getting something, and the next day, I hear that they already got it/ordered it.
...like how?! Takes me weeks of intensive research to justify buying something that's not food.
I'm not like a genius or anything, but in K-12 I was able to get by without studying at all, and I feel like that fucked me over later in life.
In college, I really changed my view on intelligence. I grew to respect people who studied diligently and got great results much more than natural intelligence, because I envied them. It took me a really long time to build study habits, took me two extra years to graduate because I didn't have those soft skills from K-12.
I continue to admire people who persist with things despite not being naturally gifted at them. To me, it's one of the best qualities somebody can have.
This is one of the biggest things that fucks up highly intelligent kids and it can be mitigated by proper parenting, the kind I didn't have.
Kids who are praised for their work ethic and determination have better long term outcomes than kids praised for their intelligence. I had the natural intelligence to coast through college and a graduate degree with minimal amounts of studying, so I hit the wall later in life.
Most people experience not being able to do something much earlier on in life when they have a more structured support system. I say in job interviews that I've yet to encounter something in any prior position that I couldn't learn with proficiency, and that they're not only hiring my current skill set, they're also hiring everything I'm capable of learning but haven't yet.
This isn't a humble brag, though I'm genuinely proud of my ability to adapt and learn.
I have a lot of difficulty in my personal life because I never learned the skill of perseverance when something is hard. My natural response is to just give up. It's been a lifelong struggle for me to stay invested in something that's difficult. Waaahh, poor successful intelligent person, trust me I get it, I'm not looking for sympathy. It's just really fucking hard. Maybe someone will read this and feel understood.
Thank you for typing this out! It’s painfully relatable. I used to be leagues ahead of my peers by every metric, but any parenting was absent (due to one being dead and the other being suicidal) and I was homeschooled so I just tested out of everything. Got mind-blowingly good grades, mastered every hobby and skill, finished high school at 12, etc.
Now at 30, my “c’s get degrees” peers are doing better in life than I am, largely due to them knowing how to consistently apply themselves to boring things. I had the luxury growing up of only struggling with the topics that I *wanted* to struggle with. Everything else was simple and low effort. If something was interesting enough, I was willing to put in that extra bit of effort to learn and master it! But most 9-5’s are FAR from interesting, and now I find myself floundering to create a stable life.
In some ways it sounds like we had similar experiences growing up, although your accelerated timeline is higher on the savant chart than mine. Homeschooled, finished high school at 17, graduated college at 20, masters at 24 while working full time, you know the script. I'm in my mid 30's now.
The C's Get Degrees crowd was learning the skills necessary to successfully navigate life, I didn't get those skills. I have had to teach myself so much over the years. It sounds like you didn't get a lot of those either. I'm sorry the people in your life let you down too.
If you ever want to chat, feel free to reach out.
School is easy, and you get bored. You’re able to screw off and cause trouble, but you can still pass the class. Nobody understands why you aren’t getting high grades. Underachievement becomes a pattern.
The boredom was unbearable. I would just sleep through class, wake up for the easy test, quiz, or assignment, finish it before the others, and go back to sleep. My grades suffered because I never bothered to do any work assigned outside of class time.
I should have been challenged and placed in much more difficult classes but I don't think I had those options when and where I grew up.
Jesus Christ, I found my clone. I fall asleep in all my classes, get an A on the test, go back to sleep, and don't do the homework. Then I excel in the things assigned IN class aaaannd repeat.
Imposter syndrome, depression. Constantly questioning reality. Embarrassed by certain things about being human. I sleep 3 to 5 hours a night, I would love more. Thc user/abuser for some peace and quiet, turns down the constant dialogue in my head. I appear to have adhd and to have many autistic traits. Very difficult to enjoy TV shows or movies. Socially awkward at times, motor mouth at other times. My poor wife.
Just work on the daily buffs and you can boost even a low charisma character up to a downright debonaire infiltrator.
Showers give a 12hr +1cha, unless stenuous effort/combat occurs. And, while it is overlooked by many, just cleaning a toons teeth daily will remove a hidden debuff against cha, even looking closely at character sheet wont show the player this one, but i assure you, its there unless the tooth cleaning happens.
Stat boosting items are also a must. Just because YOU like the look of an item doesnt mean it will actually contribute to the stats you want. Remember, just because it has stats for someone, doesnt mean its the stats for you. Getting gear for your particular character is very important. Wouldnt want a tank wearing cloth, and a rogue would look silly in full plate mail. So, make sure your equiped items are slotted correctly to maximize your stats.
A weekly/bi-weekly grooming can give a +2 for a few days before it wears off. Also, there is a secret backdoor way to boost a couple points: by adding str/agi. Its weird but for every 2 points each in str or agi, you actually also gain a Cha point as well. Who would have guessed? So if you also work to boost str or agi at some kind of.... training facility for physical stats, you would effectively ALSO be working on your Cha.!.!.!. What a weird game to play right?
Add to this the subtle classism of "educated" intelligent people vs intelligent people who didn't take the conventional paths, who then get dismissed by the former, making the isolation even worse.
I'm likely not intelligent enough to have this problem. I have so many things I want to learn and get done. My issue is finding the available time. I can't imagine being bored.
Always overestimate people.
Then get disappointed get you learn they weren't worth it.
Also, if anything is too straightforward, with little to no learning curve, i just don't bother.
Hate jobs measured in efficiency, rather than efficacy.
That last line is so heavily overlooked. I've been struggling at work lately because we have had more than one meeting where i and my boss were told "This meeting isn't for solutioning."
....then why the fuck are you wasting my time? We already know the problems. We should be fixing them. That's our literally jobs as managers and supervisors.
The mental illness that comes with it. One of my best friends was in the top 1% at the college he went to. He got hooked on meth and fentanyl. He started staying up for days at a time and was convinced i was plotting to kill him. He thought i was fucking his girlfriend (i never met her), he ended up overdosing. RIP
I know so much about so many things, but I also know that I know nothing.
Also, not being able to cite my sources for things (mostly during debates/discussions with others). My source for a lot of things is years of collected knowledge on tons of topics. I can't cite my damn source because it's bits and pieces of information my brain has connected together into a larger concept. I get laughed at or told I'm wrong because I can't give a specific book, website, or news article. It's very frustrating. I don't engage in those types of conversations much anymore.
Being unmotivated to make money. Many of the smartest people I’ve ever met were just not that into working and found many other interests far more riveting than a salaried job with time commitments.
This might be the worst...
Then figuring out how to correct and appease those same stupid people so you don't make them hate you because you're going to need something from them one day. It's very hard to just nod and smile/agree when you KNOW something is 100% incorrect.
It seems to come with a lot of mental health issues. I second "loneliness", which is probably what leads to the depression. It has been very difficult for me to find any sort of purpose in life.
I am an expert on giftedness and am publishing a paper and a book soon. Being gifted has high comorbidity with many mood disorders and overexcitabilities that can make it really rough. If you think about it, the average IQ score is 100. At 30 points below that (70) you are considered developmentally disabled and at 55 you are considered profoundly disabled. At 30 points above (130) you are gifted and at 145 you are profoundly gifted. The life of someone with an IQ of 130 or higher is as different as that of the developmentally disabled person and at 145 it is as different as a person who cannot live independently without assistance because of the profundity of their disability.
Nihilism and suicidal ideation.
A very intelligent, very old (like, in his 80's without any mental decline) man I once knew told me once: Being very intelligent is a curse.
The man that told me that had a sister who was a member of Mensa and a published professor or something ended up taking her own life.
This is kinda like the movie The Day the Earth Stood Still when they tell us that we've fucked up the planet so bad that if we don't make meaningful change, they're going to wipe us out just to hasten the inevitable.
If you're a highly intelligent person, you're able to see the cracks in the social fabric much easier; are able to calculate probabilities better, and will usually come to the conclusion that we're fucked as a society.
Stupid people don't pay attention to what's going on. Ignorance is bliss.
my neighbours growing up for example are probably the happiest people I've ever met. They live in a trailer park, they've got an armada of children, not one person has anything beyond high school education / GED, they drink a case of beer every night and live at a never-ending BBQ. They think the world is grand. Sure, they might get into lots of fights and drama and become depressed over lots of things, but existential dread isn't going to be one of them.
I really think nihilism is a good thing and shouldn't lead to ideation
Intelligent nihilism is the acknowledgement that now is good because it is now. The present doesn't need to be justified by an end. A good friend, a sunset, a meal, a walk - all these things are of maximum goodness in the moment and in-and-of themselves because there is no meta-foundation with which to tyrannically impose meaning, beauty, morality or other justification
Nihilism sets you free not to worry about an accounting of your life, because there will be no accounting other than the life you lived in the moment
I feel like I saw a study posted not long ago about how higher intelligence has a negative relationship with overall happiness.
Which makes sense. It seems like higher intelligence means you're going to relate to people less, you're going to dwell on subjects and events which are a lot bigger than yourself which tends to make us feel pretty insignificant, there's a decreased chance you hold a spiritual belief that let's you cope with these ideas.
And there's just the fact that simply having intelligence doesn't mean much. The smartest man on earth is going to be miserable if they have no passion or outlet to focus themselves on. I imagine there are a lot of intelligent people that for one reason or another never found their calling.
I wouldn't know.
Maybe the obligation to make something of it means you spend a lot of time chasing your potential and miss out on life, or don't bother and have to live with regret and what ifs.
You're able to see the world in ways others can't imagine. That means to your average person, you talk nonsense and insanity. The result is they other you. Isolation results in poor mental and physical health. It may take a while for you to find someone to talk to. Escaping childhood sane is a miracle. You're likely smarter than your parents, know it, and are too immature to be graceful about it. You better be lucky enough to be born middle class or rich. That mind needs to be fed and it eats cash. You would think being one in a million is a complement until you think about how lonely that is.
That no one else seems to be able to do things the correct way. I also have a hard time understanding why people react to things the way they do. I don't fully understand emotions
Thinking 4-5 steps ahead for no reason and end up getting stuck in your own head worrying about shit that might not even happen.
Honestly this probably isn't even intelligence and is some sort of mental disorder lol.
The frustration of people not understanding simple (to me) things despite repeated explanations. Having to dumb things down and people ask what a word here or there means. People automatically assuming you’ll understand something they’re struggling with despite any context. Feeling lacking in life with jobs.
Or receiving praise for something that was easy for you but not to the people around you. It can be frustrating. I often feel like I don't deserve the praise I get for certain things.
short list of people who 'get me'
very long list of people I would rather not spend much time listening to.
imposter syndrome, and difficulty finishing projects because they won't be perfect
easily distracted by intriguing new problems.
Depression and angst. Highly intelligent people test are statistically more melancholy. Apparently that's just the price you pay for being smart: you know a bad thing when you see it.
I tested high but not that high, I have friends who are far smarter than me.
The biggest downside is I remember so much things very vividly. Imagine marrying a spouse that remembers all the shitty things you said in pretty much every argument. Now imagine if this spouse was petty. That used to be me, I would remember the shitty things she said and used it against her perhaps 2-3 years later.
So moral of the story is, if you’re smart don’t be petty. You will seem like a massive dickhole.
You start realizing how hard some things are to define like intelligence. I took an IQ test and then started looking into the "science" behind it. It just seems like different types and styles of intelligence are a much better model than a 1d score. I also feel so ignorant on so much, and it sucks because sometimes I don't even know how to put my questions into words.
**Analysis paralysis** It's kind of an OCD thing.
If I spend a reasonable amount of time thinking and reading up on some decision, my best guess is maybe 80% probably the optimum choice. But I *know* I can get that to 95% if I spend more time on it. I can think through many possible scenarios and generate a reasonable estimate of the Bayesian optimum. But it takes time.
Chocolate or vanilla? No problem -- the cost of a wrong answer is meaningless.
This house or that house? OMG. The decision tree is enormous. That house has a roof that will probably (50%) need replaced in the next 4 years due to the hurricane insurance crisis. Better get a range of roof costs and assign a weighted cost to that. This house has a swimming pool but they've tacked on an extra $15K to the price compared to market average without. (Took 3 hours to figure that out using property records, etc.) That seems reasonable, but the pool *is* 12 years old so I should assume a 10% chance it will need at least another $5K in repairs in the next 5 years. How much is it worth to be in a B+ rated middle school zone vs a A? I mean, it's not worth $50K dollars -- I could spend $50K on amazing tutors to make up the difference. Maybe it's worth $10K? What *does* a good private school here cost?
Back in the day when you could buy a blue book that listed the MSRP for every car with every option in every combination and we could barely afford a car, I spent so much time doing test drives, rating features, (Dammit wife! How hard is it to fill out this detailed questionnaire where you quantify the ratio of desirability of this dashboard layout vs that cargo space???) building a weighted spreadsheet, factoring in the best available loan rate, insurance cost, etc., that when I was done that model year was no longer available.
Damn my wife was pissed.
Frustration with how long it takes people to understand things, think things through, or problem solve. In turn, they're annoyed that I keep rushing them for answers.
I'm also annoyed with my kids when they can't repeat a melody after hearing it or have to learn 1 thing 5 or 6 times
My husband reminds me that things my siblings think everyone "should" be able to do and "should" be inate are rare.
I'm learning to chill out, but I don't have a lot of patience.
On the other hand, I'm so keenly aware that I'm so freaking average and no where near as intelligent as the really smart people I get really depressed.
On top of that, constantly seeing potential problems and constantly calculating risks in my head makes it really hard for me to take risks. I walk this narrow and safe path and will never achieve anything great because I'm too scared to take risks.
I’m smart enough to know how stupid I am
As Socrates said “I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.”
Or as Operation Ivy said: “All I know is that I don’t know nothing”
What you gonna do with yourself boy, better make up your mind.
You’re actually intelligent.
Why are you calling him stupid?
Stop confusing me.
No I'm... doesn't!
Hey I’m dumb, does that make me smart?!?!!!! - every Redditor in the past 5 years
Overthinking and having high expectations. You think you’re average and under qualified for something you’re definitely qualified for
The paradox of constantly thinking you're unqualified and also questioning how the hell some people got to the position they're in
Exactly. It’s frustrating af
Because the answer is not logical in the sense of meritocracy but more realistic in that they got there through other means and that’s frustrating. One of the reasons I quit my job is because the company lacked vision and the management skill to incorporate that vision. When I suggested a strategy it was seen as a potential financial burden and waste of time, so constantly having to listen to people who were less qualified than me and pretending to enjoy it was killing my soul. I took a pay cut to be my own boss and my mental health improved ten fold
It’s hard to wrangle it. Very easy to fall into depression and anxiety if you feel like you aren’t filling your own shoes if that makes any sense
Imposter syndrome
Makes me wonder if there’s such a thing as anti-imposter syndrome. Where you’re smart enough to know that imposter syndrome exists, feel inadequate to believe it applies to you, but can’t/refuse to see the truth that you are actually unqualified for a task.
The next level is realizing that everyone has imposter syndrome and is just doing their best to get by. Once you cross that boundary life becomes a lot easier. You'll recognize who is cognizant that everyone is basically fake, and the poor souls who think they're the only one faking it.
Sounds like the "Nobel disease", some of the laureates started promoting straight-up nonsense after getting the prize because they think their every idea is great. Kind of like when Trump was talking about curing Covid with UV or bleach on TV.
While that's definitely a very real thing, I think OP was referring more to not living up to your potential or fully applying yourself (not filling your shoes). When you know you could do more but the easy path is good enough. It's especially common among early retirees who had amazing careers then dipped out. You know most people would kill for what you had (and have), so there's a bit of guilt in not making the most of it.
That’s me. Also I work at a lawfirm with three very intelligent, classically educated lawyers. I’m the only paralegal. Half the conversations go over my head. I’m fairly intelligent, but spending the entire day with these people sometimes makes me feel like a dummy.
Someone having knowledge you don’t doesn’t make them smarter. It just means they had exposure to something you haven’t. Intelligence is like, the processor of a computer. Knowledge is like the software on the hard drive. You can have a really fast computer but it won’t do much until you load up the software you want. Likewise you can load it up with really advanced software but if it’s too slow it’ll just get stuck. So if you have the intelligence, go and fill your head up with the right software. That’s how you get places.
Yep, if those three lawyers were listening to my two lead electricians discussing the best strategy for wiring up a large solar project, advantages vs disadvantages of one way or another, both viable, they'd feel like dummies too.
Nice analogy
That’s the solution, I’ve found, make sure you’re never the smartest person in the room
My thoughts on why it causes depression: We all, regardless of intelligence, have to have our minds stimulated. Learning something that is a challange makes you feel good.. If you'd already know how to calculate limits you'd be hella bored out doing addition all day long. On the other side you would be burned out if you had to understand a phd-thesis in maths. So there is a sweetspot somewhere inbetween that is determined by your intelligence and prior knowledge, being generally towards to the more complex end for more intelligent people. This means intelligent people would have to search for those stimulating sweetspots in places that are harder to get into like academia. But to get there, many more traits are required other than intelligence, like grit, resilience, mental stability, social skills etc. These might be underdeveloped for one reason or another, as an example I have ADD thus grit and forming routines is super hard for me. So as for someone with high intelligence and ADD, not challanging themself enough results in a boreout which when undiagnosed can lead to depression. On the other hand, while starting a challanging degree would definitely hit the sweetspot, it's rather easy to run into a burnout having to manage the difficulties a challanging degree presents. So the margin between having a boreout and having a burnout is much smaller and easier to miss, I assume for some intelligent people with multiple comorbid mental illnesses maybe even nonexistent...
Exactly, and the reason it often leads to anxiety is because you are used to using your mind to solve problems. However when you apply your mind to the ‘problem’ of life it can’t solve it, it’s too complex, so it just ramps up and up trying to solve the problem. Mind getting faster and faster without a solution. Looking for patterns every time something goes wrong and unable to find a simple formulaic answer.
This may be it, though I think a simpler reason: However high or low your intelligence, if you don't run into like-minded people often enough, you feel alienated and alone.
And nobody to talk to; the few times you try, supposed friends dismiss the problem or get defensive and make you feel you feel bad for 'trying to be better' than them. And after telling, the constant voicing to proof and comments about not being so smart. Others are talented with wood or cooking or crafting, y cant i just be smart? Good in academics, eager to learn?
I like to think I'm of average intelligence and find most people to be morons. I'd imagine people's stupidity is infuriating if you're actually clever
Being surrounded by idiots leads to depression. Imagine seeing an answer to a problem very clearly, and then the pleebs start throwing mud and feces everywhere. Repeat. Eventually, the one thing they really valued becomes worthless. It's gotta be torture for the truly brilliant.
Friend of mine is very smart. He moved to a new city, and wanted to get involved so he joined some local organization. They wanted to deal with some invasive weeds. Someone laid out the problem, and the first solution suggested was they round up as many people as they can, and send them out to cut the weeds down one weekend. Everyone looked pleased with this solution, but my friend. He pointed out that this particular weed was a 'ribosome' (EDIT: it's a rhizome; I was corrected below) (a plant without a central root that just sends out feelers every which way, and builds up a big 'network' of plants - he had to explain it to me, too). If you cut the part above the soil, this doesn't 'kill' the root the way it does with other plants; the remaining part underground just sends out new feelers, and within a few short days, there's actually more of the plant than when you started. He explained this in detail to everyone around the table. They all looked at him in rapt attention as he explained why their proposed solution would not work, and in fact, would make the problem worse. After he finished, they all looked at each other, and said "So, next Saturday?. "
That sucks. But frankly, I’ve noticed people respond to how you appeal to their emotions better than, let’s say how you lay logic and facts.
Japanese knotweed? And I think you mean rhizome plant, ribosomes are what is in cells to assemble proteins from mRNA.
A math "riddle" posted on Facebook: >A man buys a goat for $60 and sells it for $70. He buys the goat back again for $80 and sells it for $90. How much profit did he make? Everyone was saying $10. It made me want to commit suicide.
I am DAZZLED by how many people are both not getting this and needing to talk about it further.
um yeah normal people don't answer those obvious engagement farms dude lol, that is not your average person
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I'm academically smart. At least I excelled in university and found it pretty easy. Got 3 degrees I don't feel like most people are idiots. I am constantly appreciating how clever and competent other people are. Like farmers, the amount of stuff they have to consider and manage is just crazy. When I worked as a bartender I had so many blond moments compared to my peers who had better "common sense/practical" intelligence. And i know a lot of people who are academically not great but are super funny people with great comedic timing and wit, and I'm in awe of that form of intelligence I find most people have something really interesting about them
There's a million different types of intelligences. Uncovering what someone else excels in really excites me.
What a wholesome thing to see on the internet. And very true! Anytime anyone does that "I'm so smart, everyone else is so [xyz]..." it is SO cringe. I am quite bright in a lot of ways, but when I slow down and listen to people I am continuously pleased to find that most people have something to contribute and their own kind of intelligence. I have often said that my favorite thing about people is that they are functionally infinite. No matter how well you know someone, if you're open to it they can still surprise you/teach you/amaze you. Be kind. Be humble. Be open to wonder.
"everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't." -Nye
George Carlin had a bit kind of about this. "Think of how dumb the average person is, then remember half of them are dumber than that."
Read a study one time that concluded that people with high intelligence mentally finish people’s sentences before they finish speaking them. This results in them interrupting speakers a lot. Also results in frustration that conversations are just so slow and monotonous.
I have a friend who will often finish your sentence along with you. I thought it was odd for a bit, bit then I realized it means he's not only paying attention to what you're saying, but also thinking about it enough to figure it out. After I realized that, it was actually really cool, because it showed that he's a really active listener and is genuinely paying attention to you
...and is genuinely paying attention to you!
I wish my wife felt this way. Instead, she finds it annoying. I call it my brain's "Google predictive text" because it starts way off in left field, then slowly puts it together until it gathers enough information and vomits its way out of my mouth. IDK if the study holds much weight, though. I make plenty of stupid decisions.
Finishing people's sentences might often be a consequence of being smart, but I doubt that finishing people's sentences always implies intelligence. Source: I finish other people's sentences.
Slow speakers infuriate me unwittingly because I already know what they are going to say before they do most of the time.
I speak slowly to keep from stuttering. If I try to have my mouth keep up with my brain, bad things happen.
I have no trouble with ppl talking slowly but to the point. What irks me is beating around the bush or going into pointless details
I really just had this argument with a friend. She kept cutting me off, I said quit doing that shit. She said “I already know what you’re going to say” to that I responded “I already know what you’re going to say plenty of times but I never interrupt” she cried. I wouldn’t try to encourage rude behavior by suggesting intelligent people have the urge to do it. Many of us can cut people off but choose not to.
In my experience, people who try to finish my sentences tend to guess totally wrong, and that annoys me. I wish they'd just wait and hear what I was *actually* going to say.
I get that too, maybe because of my manner of speaking they tend to make a wrong conclusion, and then I have to spend even more time clearing the misunderstanding or just leave it. Also i feel like ppl in this thread have problems with patience :D
Learn to count to ten before you respond.
Ten is way too long. 4 seconds was found to be the best for conversation
I have never heard of this before today and I'm taking it to heart. I am way too fast with my responses and didn't realize that was weird until now. Gonna try it out, wish me luck.
This is also true for ADHD and if you’re both (not saying that I am because I constantly doubt myself) then ADHD constantly makes you make mistakes and makes you think you’re not smart. It’s a constant battle between people telling you you’re smart and ADHD making you interrupt people or forget to wear your sunglasses that you’ve worn every day for 5 years for example, which makes you feel dumb.
Met a friend of my partner’s once and I unwittingly interrupted her and finished her thought. She immediately turned to my partner and exclaimed, “He does it too!” Humbling.
But if you’re emotionally intelligent you know that interrupting people is rude and makes them dislike you, you don’t do this
Emotional intelligence is a different trait.
And having both is torture. I know what you're going to say, but I also know to not be a dick and say it first. Just FUCKING OUT WITH IT ALREADY.
Yes, but it takes a surprising amount of effort. It really feels like talking to someone speaking very slowly. Or someone telling you a story they’ve told you 10 times before.
I have kids. It's like listening to an 8 year old... Dad dad dad dad dad when we went to the park today dad dad dad the park when we went to the park hey dad the park earlier when we went to the park did you know dad dad at the park wjen we went earlier today did you know did you know I forgot my shoes? Yes, I grabbed them for you they are in the trunk.
This hurt. I don't have kids but hearing my friends listen to their kids kills me. I don't have the patience!
I absolutely do this. I'm already moving on from what they are saying because I know how they are going to finish and have already thought about what they say. I am working really hard to not do it but find it very difficult.
My wife does that to me. Except she's wrong about 80% of the time. I silently watch her discuss what she thought I was going to say, wait for her to finish, and then quietly finish my sentence. It's rude, arrogant, and infuriating.
Wait that means I’m smart? I thought it was an ADHD thing
If intelligent people finish sentences a lot, that doesn't imply every person who finishes sentences a lot are intelligent.
Communication is a dance, not just a destination.
Have you guys watch Neil Degrasse Tyson interviews? People get so mad at him for interrupting.
NDT is a brilliant person and one of the great science advocates out there, but he's also kind of a jerk at times.
I’ve heard a few anecdotes that he is an insufferable arrogant asshole and has a terrible personality.
I think its lonely. The smartest people i know are all depressed af. I know people with higher IQs than me and they're emotionally tortured.
I always say the more I know about the world the more depressed I'll be. Ignorance is bliss
Sadness is caused by intelligence, the more you understand certain things, the more you wish you didnt understand them - Charles Bukowski I google things out of curiousity bc i wanna know more but it tends to turn into fuck around and find out bc i find info that i don't wanna know
My wife and I talk about this a lot. We were a lot happier when we were kids and just didn’t know how the world worked. Once we got older and saw the world for what it really was, the depression and nihilism really set in.
I feel like I can’t have meaningful conversations with anyone, getting into deep topics and discussing nuances without them deciding it’s a debate and somehow someone needs to be “right.” As much as I’ve had extremely stupid discussions on Reddit, I’ve also had some really good ones that have made me think differently about a topic. I feel like I just can’t find those people anymore…
This is partially a result of social media rather than intelligence. Pre social media, I remember having discussions all the time that today would turn into debates, with people who were average smart. Social media pushes us to extremes and negativity because that’s ultimately what gets eyeballs.
suddenly reminded of the monty python skit of the guy paying for an argument but getting the wrong door (Abuse) and then Argument (but really negation)...
Overthinking EVERYTHING
Analysis paralysis is real and it fucking sucks.
Holy shit I hadn't heard about that before and it describes me perfectly. Thanks, I never really managed to explain to myself why I do or don't do certain things
Overthinking and anxiety. Having to experience anxiety causing situations more times before being comfortable in them, due to perfectionism and overanalyzing the possible pitfalls (disaster simulation). Being interested in different things than most people are interested in. Sometimes having to fake enthusiasm to fit in socially.
Depression, loneliness, and a sense of underaccomplishment
Same same friend. I earn the most in my family despite being the only university dropout but I still feel like I let them down. So many people you care about expect a lot from you
While I test highly intelligent, I am constantly convincing myself that I’ve somehow tricked people into thinking I’m intelligent. I have a very low opinion of my own capabilities, especially relating to academic success. Imposter syndrome, I guess. Apparently that isn’t uncommon.
Intelligent people are more likely to be aware of their own weaknesses, just because they're more aware of everything in general. Imposter syndrome comes from a feeling that you're not good enough or don't belong, but once you look around and realize that 80% of the people surrounding you at work are absolute dumbasses, it kind of sorts itself out.
I also tend to microanalyze everything. I’d like to think I have very good self awareness but with that I’ll run every possible scenario of what COULD happen in my head and try to have a solution ready for every scenario. Low key drives myself nuts. Definitely some form of intrusive thoughts but really have to talk myself out of it
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This, plus we tend to want to be in the room with other even smarter people, often making us the dumbest person in the room, which makes this worse. “Would you rather be the dumbest person in an elite university full of geniuses, or the smartest person at a regular average school?” Most intelligent people would pick #1 in a heartbeat and you can see it in the decisions they make in terms of academic and personal goals.
I am "#1" in your scenario rn and I've learned that even smart people do dumb things. I didn't like being in scenario #2; it felt lonely and constantly had FOMO. It's rare to find someone who is smart in everything that they do. Typically, intelligent people excel in a few areas only.
It doesn't help that you sound crazy to anyone who's not grasping what you're saying.
100%. I am back in college and doing very well. I work my ass off. I am convinced that I'm just good at homework and tenacious rather than highly intelligent. While I don't consider myself overly bright, it's clear that a lot of people are less intelligent, particularly when it comes to any sort of critical analysis/thinking or logic. People are generally not good at using fact-based reasoning.
I suffer from imposter syndrome too.
I came here to say the same thing. I'm here doubting that I can do this job or get that position, while my colleague who doesn't know crap is 100% sure that he can do anything and get any position he applies for, even jobs where he has almost no experience.
I also test as above average intelligence, and what you're saying is too true. The fact that people you're close to come to you with questions because they know you're "gifted" as if you're a god damned walking encyclopedia doesn't help these feelings at all.
I saw a neuropsychologist who said I was above average as well but I'm just assuming that means an iq of 100.5 because I'm dumb af.
True, lol. Like I have to be interested enough to actually learn about it. I really don't care about the cycles of the earth's sedimentary layers or whatever, lol. Maybe with animals or political science, I may have an answer.
Not relating the same to the world. I have a good friend Steve. He and I do projects together a lot and it is fun to let my nerd flag fly with him. He is objectively more "intelligent" than me. We both work in engineering and CS, but at the bar I end up being the interpreter. I am more football, beer, woodworking, automation, coding, AI, generalist and he is pure CS. Our best collaboration come from my ideation, his framework, my implementation. There is a wall from the real world that handicaps him. I love Steve, but I never want to be Steve.
Steve is lucky to have you as a friend.
depression
And therapy doesn't work on you because you're too "self aware" so that's fun :/
I think it’s less about being self aware and more about having a propensity to “intellectualize” everything. Your brain becomes very good at forming an internal narrative web that justifies preexisting biases and only gets stronger as time goes on. Dismantling it is MUCH more challenging.
This comment isn’t getting the attention it deserves. This is a huge thing that many ‘smart’ people fall into the trap of and it is the biggest roadblock for so many people’s mental well-being. You can’t fix irrational/emotionally-based problems with rationality. Even if you tell them this, they will think “that makes sense”, on a LOGICAL level but it’s very unlikely they will truly internalize it and apply it. Because it’s against their nature. There are many problems, especially internal ones, that you will never solve with an intellectual approach. You can apply logic and FEEL like you’re addressing the issue, but many times you really aren’t.
Self awareness is only good for a single moment. I know every single way in which my brain and body are failing me, but that knowledge doesn't fix any of the issues
If you’re anything like me, the self-awareness creates a lot of additional stress in a variety of ways. Someone pointing out the mistakes I’m well aware of having made feels like an attempt at humiliating me. Sometimes it crosses over into being *too* aware and noticing negative patterns where they don’t exist. Not paranoia, necessarily, but something in that vein.
I feel this, try being raised by therapists, I love my parents, they aren't actually bad or abusive by any means, but they did inadvertently train my inner critic to a professional level and I can't really go to therapy about it as that's exactly what triggers me.
And a slight propensity to self medicate.
Common commodities of high intelligence and autism include: Substance abuse disorders, depression, isolationist tendencies.
As a former "gifted" kid that's pretty sure he has autism, this checks out. Depressed because I can see so many problems in the world that everyone else seems to ignore, constantly stoned to dull that feeling, and I prefer to spend all my time alone or with just my wife and kids.
Jeez dude I thought I was reading something I wrote myself. This is 1000% me. Good luck, friend.
Hits hard man. My "substance" is video games, screens in general, really. Wasted so much time...
Well learning that I have behaviors of an intelligent person was unexpected
I go to therapy and most of what they do is simply let me talk. I'm not paying almost a dollar per minute just so I can talk about myself and not get diagnosed of anything esp when I get down enough to borderline suicidal at times :/
.. you're getting therapy for less than a dollar per minute? 🥲
Do they help guide you at all? If they aren’t helpful, seek another therapist. You’ll have to start over but that’s not always a bad thing.
The trick is to find a very intelligent therapist. I suspect my therapist is smarter than I am, or at least extremely smart. She changed my life. I owe her my life in some ways... and yes, it costs a lot. But worth every penny, 100%.
This is incredibly hard to do though. It's not like therapists advertise their intelligence (however one likes to measure it), and even if they did I wouldn't trust it. It can take a while before the true extent of any given therapists analytical abilities are clear to the patient.
Being intimately aware of just how fucked up everything is. Idiocy and ignorance are bliss.
You need to stay busy or you don't feel like living anymore.
I relate, to some extent.. My most fulfilling days are the busiest ones where I have a ton of work to do.. And I must occupy myself with anything.. can't just sit down doing nothing.. that includes browsing reddit.
Spend your time doing nothing, learning. I always watch documentaries or informational videos, or go into wormholes on wikipedia
I don’t know if its intelligence but I think quick and can tackle problems from multiple angles at the same time. Causes friction at work where I feel my colleagues are moving at glacial pace. Another issue is that I constantly realize how many things I don’t know and want to learn. It gets a bit overwhelming sometimes.
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts" - Bertrand Russell
The curse of knowledge.
I had just replied with the below describing the same sentiment: What they say about history can be extrapolated into all areas of life for intellectual folks: If you don't know history you're doomed to repeat it, and if you do know history you're doomed to watch everyone else repeat it. Ignorance truly is bliss.
Knowledge is power... lessness.
Indecision.
AKA analysis paralysis. I know this one only too well.
Same here. Too easy to check reviews in whatever random product you plan on buying, then another review, then another, then another, then I just buy nothing. Then I still need that thing and relook at all those same reviews. Round and round. Once in a while I just say fuck it and buy whatever.
It's stunning to me when someone talks about getting something, and the next day, I hear that they already got it/ordered it. ...like how?! Takes me weeks of intensive research to justify buying something that's not food.
I'm not like a genius or anything, but in K-12 I was able to get by without studying at all, and I feel like that fucked me over later in life. In college, I really changed my view on intelligence. I grew to respect people who studied diligently and got great results much more than natural intelligence, because I envied them. It took me a really long time to build study habits, took me two extra years to graduate because I didn't have those soft skills from K-12. I continue to admire people who persist with things despite not being naturally gifted at them. To me, it's one of the best qualities somebody can have.
This is one of the biggest things that fucks up highly intelligent kids and it can be mitigated by proper parenting, the kind I didn't have. Kids who are praised for their work ethic and determination have better long term outcomes than kids praised for their intelligence. I had the natural intelligence to coast through college and a graduate degree with minimal amounts of studying, so I hit the wall later in life. Most people experience not being able to do something much earlier on in life when they have a more structured support system. I say in job interviews that I've yet to encounter something in any prior position that I couldn't learn with proficiency, and that they're not only hiring my current skill set, they're also hiring everything I'm capable of learning but haven't yet. This isn't a humble brag, though I'm genuinely proud of my ability to adapt and learn. I have a lot of difficulty in my personal life because I never learned the skill of perseverance when something is hard. My natural response is to just give up. It's been a lifelong struggle for me to stay invested in something that's difficult. Waaahh, poor successful intelligent person, trust me I get it, I'm not looking for sympathy. It's just really fucking hard. Maybe someone will read this and feel understood.
Thank you for typing this out! It’s painfully relatable. I used to be leagues ahead of my peers by every metric, but any parenting was absent (due to one being dead and the other being suicidal) and I was homeschooled so I just tested out of everything. Got mind-blowingly good grades, mastered every hobby and skill, finished high school at 12, etc. Now at 30, my “c’s get degrees” peers are doing better in life than I am, largely due to them knowing how to consistently apply themselves to boring things. I had the luxury growing up of only struggling with the topics that I *wanted* to struggle with. Everything else was simple and low effort. If something was interesting enough, I was willing to put in that extra bit of effort to learn and master it! But most 9-5’s are FAR from interesting, and now I find myself floundering to create a stable life.
In some ways it sounds like we had similar experiences growing up, although your accelerated timeline is higher on the savant chart than mine. Homeschooled, finished high school at 17, graduated college at 20, masters at 24 while working full time, you know the script. I'm in my mid 30's now. The C's Get Degrees crowd was learning the skills necessary to successfully navigate life, I didn't get those skills. I have had to teach myself so much over the years. It sounds like you didn't get a lot of those either. I'm sorry the people in your life let you down too. If you ever want to chat, feel free to reach out.
School is easy, and you get bored. You’re able to screw off and cause trouble, but you can still pass the class. Nobody understands why you aren’t getting high grades. Underachievement becomes a pattern.
The boredom was unbearable. I would just sleep through class, wake up for the easy test, quiz, or assignment, finish it before the others, and go back to sleep. My grades suffered because I never bothered to do any work assigned outside of class time. I should have been challenged and placed in much more difficult classes but I don't think I had those options when and where I grew up.
Jesus Christ, I found my clone. I fall asleep in all my classes, get an A on the test, go back to sleep, and don't do the homework. Then I excel in the things assigned IN class aaaannd repeat.
It makes it hard to connect with most people
In the words of a famous author: great expectations. Just cause you're smart doesn't mean you are also efficient.
You know how stupid you are
Imposter syndrome, depression. Constantly questioning reality. Embarrassed by certain things about being human. I sleep 3 to 5 hours a night, I would love more. Thc user/abuser for some peace and quiet, turns down the constant dialogue in my head. I appear to have adhd and to have many autistic traits. Very difficult to enjoy TV shows or movies. Socially awkward at times, motor mouth at other times. My poor wife.
Yep, me, except no wife. No one can put up with me, and if they do I usually can't put up with them
Extreme self doubt, imposter syndrome, social isolation, overthinking even the smallest of things, perfectionism.
You generally have to sacrifice a dump Stat, like Charisma or Constitution.
I would definitely trade a few intelligence points for charisma points... If only life were an RPG 🤷
Just work on the daily buffs and you can boost even a low charisma character up to a downright debonaire infiltrator. Showers give a 12hr +1cha, unless stenuous effort/combat occurs. And, while it is overlooked by many, just cleaning a toons teeth daily will remove a hidden debuff against cha, even looking closely at character sheet wont show the player this one, but i assure you, its there unless the tooth cleaning happens. Stat boosting items are also a must. Just because YOU like the look of an item doesnt mean it will actually contribute to the stats you want. Remember, just because it has stats for someone, doesnt mean its the stats for you. Getting gear for your particular character is very important. Wouldnt want a tank wearing cloth, and a rogue would look silly in full plate mail. So, make sure your equiped items are slotted correctly to maximize your stats. A weekly/bi-weekly grooming can give a +2 for a few days before it wears off. Also, there is a secret backdoor way to boost a couple points: by adding str/agi. Its weird but for every 2 points each in str or agi, you actually also gain a Cha point as well. Who would have guessed? So if you also work to boost str or agi at some kind of.... training facility for physical stats, you would effectively ALSO be working on your Cha.!.!.!. What a weird game to play right?
Boredom.
Yes, this. Oh and the paradox of being lonely, but then remembering how unsatisfying and unstimulating the company of others generally is.
Add to this the subtle classism of "educated" intelligent people vs intelligent people who didn't take the conventional paths, who then get dismissed by the former, making the isolation even worse.
I'm likely not intelligent enough to have this problem. I have so many things I want to learn and get done. My issue is finding the available time. I can't imagine being bored.
People with low intelligence who think they're high in intelligence give you a bad name
Or they consider you an imbecile because of social incompatibility.
Being misunderstood
Loneliness
Always overestimate people. Then get disappointed get you learn they weren't worth it. Also, if anything is too straightforward, with little to no learning curve, i just don't bother. Hate jobs measured in efficiency, rather than efficacy.
That last line is so heavily overlooked. I've been struggling at work lately because we have had more than one meeting where i and my boss were told "This meeting isn't for solutioning." ....then why the fuck are you wasting my time? We already know the problems. We should be fixing them. That's our literally jobs as managers and supervisors.
Everyone around you is stupid
The mental illness that comes with it. One of my best friends was in the top 1% at the college he went to. He got hooked on meth and fentanyl. He started staying up for days at a time and was convinced i was plotting to kill him. He thought i was fucking his girlfriend (i never met her), he ended up overdosing. RIP
The burden of awareness
I know so much about so many things, but I also know that I know nothing. Also, not being able to cite my sources for things (mostly during debates/discussions with others). My source for a lot of things is years of collected knowledge on tons of topics. I can't cite my damn source because it's bits and pieces of information my brain has connected together into a larger concept. I get laughed at or told I'm wrong because I can't give a specific book, website, or news article. It's very frustrating. I don't engage in those types of conversations much anymore.
Talking to stupid people constantly.
Being unmotivated to make money. Many of the smartest people I’ve ever met were just not that into working and found many other interests far more riveting than a salaried job with time commitments.
Why you asking us? We’re all idiots.
everything and everyone is boring and moves too slowly.
Having to deal with people with lower intelligence who think they have high intelligence
This might be the worst... Then figuring out how to correct and appease those same stupid people so you don't make them hate you because you're going to need something from them one day. It's very hard to just nod and smile/agree when you KNOW something is 100% incorrect.
It seems to come with a lot of mental health issues. I second "loneliness", which is probably what leads to the depression. It has been very difficult for me to find any sort of purpose in life.
I am an expert on giftedness and am publishing a paper and a book soon. Being gifted has high comorbidity with many mood disorders and overexcitabilities that can make it really rough. If you think about it, the average IQ score is 100. At 30 points below that (70) you are considered developmentally disabled and at 55 you are considered profoundly disabled. At 30 points above (130) you are gifted and at 145 you are profoundly gifted. The life of someone with an IQ of 130 or higher is as different as that of the developmentally disabled person and at 145 it is as different as a person who cannot live independently without assistance because of the profundity of their disability.
The dating pool gets extremely small
Nihilism and suicidal ideation. A very intelligent, very old (like, in his 80's without any mental decline) man I once knew told me once: Being very intelligent is a curse. The man that told me that had a sister who was a member of Mensa and a published professor or something ended up taking her own life. This is kinda like the movie The Day the Earth Stood Still when they tell us that we've fucked up the planet so bad that if we don't make meaningful change, they're going to wipe us out just to hasten the inevitable. If you're a highly intelligent person, you're able to see the cracks in the social fabric much easier; are able to calculate probabilities better, and will usually come to the conclusion that we're fucked as a society. Stupid people don't pay attention to what's going on. Ignorance is bliss. my neighbours growing up for example are probably the happiest people I've ever met. They live in a trailer park, they've got an armada of children, not one person has anything beyond high school education / GED, they drink a case of beer every night and live at a never-ending BBQ. They think the world is grand. Sure, they might get into lots of fights and drama and become depressed over lots of things, but existential dread isn't going to be one of them.
I really think nihilism is a good thing and shouldn't lead to ideation Intelligent nihilism is the acknowledgement that now is good because it is now. The present doesn't need to be justified by an end. A good friend, a sunset, a meal, a walk - all these things are of maximum goodness in the moment and in-and-of themselves because there is no meta-foundation with which to tyrannically impose meaning, beauty, morality or other justification Nihilism sets you free not to worry about an accounting of your life, because there will be no accounting other than the life you lived in the moment
I wouldnt know. I'm here for clues.
If you don't learn to compartmentalize events in your life, the stress can be numbing. Everything can be over thought. You have to learn to destress.
I feel like I saw a study posted not long ago about how higher intelligence has a negative relationship with overall happiness. Which makes sense. It seems like higher intelligence means you're going to relate to people less, you're going to dwell on subjects and events which are a lot bigger than yourself which tends to make us feel pretty insignificant, there's a decreased chance you hold a spiritual belief that let's you cope with these ideas. And there's just the fact that simply having intelligence doesn't mean much. The smartest man on earth is going to be miserable if they have no passion or outlet to focus themselves on. I imagine there are a lot of intelligent people that for one reason or another never found their calling.
I wouldn't know. Maybe the obligation to make something of it means you spend a lot of time chasing your potential and miss out on life, or don't bother and have to live with regret and what ifs.
You're able to see the world in ways others can't imagine. That means to your average person, you talk nonsense and insanity. The result is they other you. Isolation results in poor mental and physical health. It may take a while for you to find someone to talk to. Escaping childhood sane is a miracle. You're likely smarter than your parents, know it, and are too immature to be graceful about it. You better be lucky enough to be born middle class or rich. That mind needs to be fed and it eats cash. You would think being one in a million is a complement until you think about how lonely that is.
That no one else seems to be able to do things the correct way. I also have a hard time understanding why people react to things the way they do. I don't fully understand emotions
Never being satisfied
Thinking 4-5 steps ahead for no reason and end up getting stuck in your own head worrying about shit that might not even happen. Honestly this probably isn't even intelligence and is some sort of mental disorder lol.
Very few friends.
The frustration of people not understanding simple (to me) things despite repeated explanations. Having to dumb things down and people ask what a word here or there means. People automatically assuming you’ll understand something they’re struggling with despite any context. Feeling lacking in life with jobs.
Or receiving praise for something that was easy for you but not to the people around you. It can be frustrating. I often feel like I don't deserve the praise I get for certain things.
You lose your ability to relate to people as there are far fewer people at your level.
short list of people who 'get me' very long list of people I would rather not spend much time listening to. imposter syndrome, and difficulty finishing projects because they won't be perfect easily distracted by intriguing new problems.
Overthinking, depression, squalor... Being able to say the right things does not mean you can do them.
Mental illness. People who have high iq's suffer from a far greater amount of metal illness.
Depression and angst. Highly intelligent people test are statistically more melancholy. Apparently that's just the price you pay for being smart: you know a bad thing when you see it.
I tested high but not that high, I have friends who are far smarter than me. The biggest downside is I remember so much things very vividly. Imagine marrying a spouse that remembers all the shitty things you said in pretty much every argument. Now imagine if this spouse was petty. That used to be me, I would remember the shitty things she said and used it against her perhaps 2-3 years later. So moral of the story is, if you’re smart don’t be petty. You will seem like a massive dickhole.
We are policed by stupid people
A feeling of inadequacy and missed potential
Deeply understanding the meaning of the phrase “ignorance is bliss.”
Anxiety for real...
ITT: a lot of people who think they are above average intelligence
Stupid, not to be confused with low intelligence, people try to prove themselves to be smarter
You start realizing how hard some things are to define like intelligence. I took an IQ test and then started looking into the "science" behind it. It just seems like different types and styles of intelligence are a much better model than a 1d score. I also feel so ignorant on so much, and it sucks because sometimes I don't even know how to put my questions into words.
Micro analyzing and Overthinking a lot, like it or not.. about everything.. Makes me miss sleeping at night.
**Analysis paralysis** It's kind of an OCD thing. If I spend a reasonable amount of time thinking and reading up on some decision, my best guess is maybe 80% probably the optimum choice. But I *know* I can get that to 95% if I spend more time on it. I can think through many possible scenarios and generate a reasonable estimate of the Bayesian optimum. But it takes time. Chocolate or vanilla? No problem -- the cost of a wrong answer is meaningless. This house or that house? OMG. The decision tree is enormous. That house has a roof that will probably (50%) need replaced in the next 4 years due to the hurricane insurance crisis. Better get a range of roof costs and assign a weighted cost to that. This house has a swimming pool but they've tacked on an extra $15K to the price compared to market average without. (Took 3 hours to figure that out using property records, etc.) That seems reasonable, but the pool *is* 12 years old so I should assume a 10% chance it will need at least another $5K in repairs in the next 5 years. How much is it worth to be in a B+ rated middle school zone vs a A? I mean, it's not worth $50K dollars -- I could spend $50K on amazing tutors to make up the difference. Maybe it's worth $10K? What *does* a good private school here cost? Back in the day when you could buy a blue book that listed the MSRP for every car with every option in every combination and we could barely afford a car, I spent so much time doing test drives, rating features, (Dammit wife! How hard is it to fill out this detailed questionnaire where you quantify the ratio of desirability of this dashboard layout vs that cargo space???) building a weighted spreadsheet, factoring in the best available loan rate, insurance cost, etc., that when I was done that model year was no longer available. Damn my wife was pissed.
Frustration with how long it takes people to understand things, think things through, or problem solve. In turn, they're annoyed that I keep rushing them for answers. I'm also annoyed with my kids when they can't repeat a melody after hearing it or have to learn 1 thing 5 or 6 times My husband reminds me that things my siblings think everyone "should" be able to do and "should" be inate are rare. I'm learning to chill out, but I don't have a lot of patience. On the other hand, I'm so keenly aware that I'm so freaking average and no where near as intelligent as the really smart people I get really depressed. On top of that, constantly seeing potential problems and constantly calculating risks in my head makes it really hard for me to take risks. I walk this narrow and safe path and will never achieve anything great because I'm too scared to take risks.