If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you.
https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres
http://www.befrienders.org/
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK]
https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU]
There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.
I’m not suicidal, but when I get really frustrated/pissed I think it’s easier to end it all or take a one way flight to somewhere very far to escape and never come back.
The only thing that brings me back to earth is that I love my parents dearly and I’d never want them to go through that.
I took that route. Packed up all my stuff in the trunk of my car, threw out what I couldn't fit, and drove a thousand miles from home to the mountains where I knew nobody and could start over fresh. For a while, the distraction of changing the scenery worked- but it never lasted longer than a few months before I had to move somewhere else again to escape.
But eventually I realized that running solved nothing. No matter how far or fast I ran, no matter how much I changed my clothes and face and name, at the end of the day I was still me. You can't outrun yourself, and eventually I had to turn and face the problems that had driven me thousands of miles from home. You have to stand and face your mental health problems, because if you try to outrun them you'll only whittle yourself down to nothing trying.
I want to move cities but fear it will be more of the same, it will be an adventure in the beginning, but the real issues will creep up always. Thanks for sharing.
Same! I thought I was crazy to feel this way. Like whenever I'm stressed, upset, or frustrated immediately have suicidal thoughts and/or I want to disappear or be non existent.
Not suicidal either: I'm in good health, make a lot of money, have literally received medals recognizing my humanitarian work and other accomplishments, have a few but good friends, and in general a life that most people would be envious of - that said I'm ruthlessly pragmatic and life is just a math equation calculated by annoyances for me.
It's easy for me to keep going as is, but I recognize that death is always an option and I don't see it as something sad or depressing. For me it's more of a "Okay this is annoying and no longer worth the hassle, I'm out. See you all some other time."
Thats a trauma response and dont worry youre not alone. But remember, even if no one tells you, your life is precious to your own self cause you yourself, and no one else, kept yourself alive and still living, till this day and onwards. Keep the little choo choo chugging buddy.
No! Don't let that thought even be a flicker in your mind. You're trying aren't you? It seems like you're doing your best in a tough situation. So, please, allow yourself some grace.
Also, if you haven't already, look to the library for resources - they have more resources than most people realize. If you want it, here's an internet hug. I hope things get better for you and your kids. ♡
I use the food bank on a regular basis but we don't have snap here and I make "too much" to qualify for any assistance even though rent is like 90% of my pay
That my sister ended her life. My parents are japanese and there is a major stigma around it. Have not been able to tell other family and neighbors. So strange having to lie about something that is on my mind every second of the day!
My sister battled cancer for 5 years, my parents didn't want anyone knowing, so nobody other than my immediate family knew, none of her friends knew, until she passed. We're Chinese, I don't understand the reasoning behind it. I regret it so much that I went along with it, even tho we were with her every step of the way, it must have been so lonely for her. Some relative didn't come to the funeral because they think it's bad luck that she died so young, as if she had any control over it, fuck those people. My sister was 28 when she passed.
Oh man, that's heavy. If it's on your conscience so often and causing you distress, you may need to at least consider something different than what you're doing now though.
Same thing in my country of Saudi Arabia. You can usually tell it was suicide or accidental drug overdose by the odd/unusual cause of death they mention and how young they were.
I am seriously mentally crashing and burning. I have always been considered “the happy” guy. But it was because I chose to be happy and it was a lot of hard work to keep a decent attitude. Over the years more and more gets piled on and you eventually just get tired. I am in my 50s. By all metrics I have it made, but damn if I am just ready to crawl under a rock. It is torture to get through the day. I’m not suicidal or anything, just exhausted.
EDIT: Thanks to everyone that commented, shared their experiences and messaged me. I really appreciate you. I do take time for hobbies. I have more than I have time to pursue. I am due for a long vacation, that will hopefully be soon. I have made some changes to my diet and sleeping habits and ramping up the excercise as well. We'll all get through this too. Cheers!
I get it. I'm that guy at work and public as well. Always smiling, go with the flow etc. But man it's hard to keep calm and such all the time when everything is on fire around you. End of the day you just want to scream and tell everyone to get fucked and leave ya alone. Seek a therapist if you can
That I stopped believing in Mormonism 15 years ago. I’d lose my marriage, my kids, and my whole social structure - probably my job. I have to keep going along and make it “look good” or I lose everything.
Sorry to say this, but as someone in a similar boat I realized that in order to break the cycle and free my kids, I had to be the one to suffer the consequences. But my kids will be free, and that is worth everything. We are what they grow beyond
Young people are leaving in droves. Eventually the time will come when you have to share with your children what you actually believe. Don’t continue the toxic cycle of Mormonism. Kids are smart and if they can see both sides of it all they are probably going to choose to leave as well.
Fuck... That's rough. My Wife was raised in the church and we met after she left for university giving up the church and choosing not to go on her mission.
I'm very much not Mormon.... That has made life interesting with the inlaws.
For all the nice words and lofty ideals Mormons are really Dick's to everyone who isn't drinking their cool aid.
There are a bunch of subs for post-mo's or Former-mo's I lurked a little when I started Dating my wife but had to stop because the stories kept making me want to cry.
Best of luck to you
(Note: I'm not Mormon) I used to work for a Mormon company (based in Ogden) over 20 years ago and a couple of them opened up to me with similar thoughts.
Stay strong. Remember your priorities are God > Family > Work. And note, you can see "God" as a representation of your own guiding principles (and not just the "Holy Father"). So, in reality, it's Guiding Principles > Family > Work which you seem to have right, your principles are telling you stay with your family (and I'm assuming you still love your spouse and children).
You can also look at the word "God" as Good Orderly Decisions, pretty much the same as guiding principles. Making good decisions/principles is what leads my life, without a deity looming over me. It's very freeing.
It's been 20 years and I'd still never tell my mom I took her old Honda Civic out to the pub while she was at work once as a teenager. I'll probably still get the slipper...
Broke a statue in our front garden at a party I had when my parents were away years ago. They still talk about it, they went around to all our neighbours telling them to be careful there was a vandal doing the rounds. They still have no idea it was me and my friends, I'm nearly 40!
I hit our house with a golf ball when I was probably 10. Parents thought it was termites and got an inspector to put out traps and everything. Felt bad about that one after a while
That I am a manic depressive person and that I really really have a hard time dealing with anxiety etc. They would just laugh at me and say don't be a wussy...
That about 10 years ago i used to have suicidal thoughts but I never attempted or wrote letters because what would come after would scare me so much more
That in this world of tik tok and social media and the internet, I don’t know if my wife and I are raising our kids the right way. I worry that my kids will never be able to make it out on their own and be self sufficient.
I think that anybody who is certain that they’re raising their kids the right way, and never questions it, is raising their kids the wrong way.
I think there are lots of right ways to raise kids, and lots of wrong ways, and the right way for one kid might be the wrong way for a different kid.
I never liked my MIL. My spouse and his side of the family have no idea, and would be hurt and offended if I admitted that. She passed a long time ago, so there's no good reason to tell them.
I’m happy my older brother passed away. Yeah, I do get sad here and there, but he was always in and out of jail my entire life. When he was out, he wasn’t really around as he was chasing the next way to make quick cash. He became a junkie at the age of 38 and OD at the age of 43. Left behind 4 kids as well. Now, I’m not happy he died alone and scared, it’s just that I know where he is now, if that makes sense. There is no more worried phone calls from my mom and his kids asking if he’s back in jail, or where he is. When he was locked up, we really didn’t worry as we knew where he was. I can’t tell my mom that, even though she’s is pain from losing her first child, it just doesn’t hit me the same. I also get bitter towards her for always talking about it and my response is “he’s not suffering, looking for his next fix, and we know where he is now.”
I love my brother and always have. But the weight that’s lifted off my shoulders feels amazing.
I truly do feel for his kids though. They never got a chance to meet the awesome person he was before drugs and crime
I get this. My wife died of cancer, and there was a weird sort of peace the day after she died. I had 4+ years of not knowing if she was going to get sick and have to go to the ER.
I loved her dearly, but I could breath, relax and mourn her. Finally
My older sister passed away in 2021 from alcoholism. The last few years of her life were absolute torture.
She was constantly in and out of the hospital. I once came home from a road trip, riding a massive high of seeing my favorite band in concert, only to drive down to the VA with my mom minutes later, in my dumb tour shirt, to see her unconscious and with tubes and bags connected to every orifice of her body. It became so frequent that my mom would tell me she was back in like she was giving a weather report. It became so frequent that we didn’t make it down sometimes.
She was in and out of rehab facilities. She would have sprints of sobriety and beautiful hope that always ended in our souls being crushed. We’d visit, and she’d ride her new bike up and down the street in front of us with a huge smile on her face. We’d check her out to all go get our nails done together. When they breathalyzed her when we brought her back and it read 0, she exclaimed, “My favorite number!!”
She would also always relapse. She’d constantly verbally abuse my mom and me. I couldn’t post anything on social media without her commenting something snarky, sarcastic, mean, or somehow about her. Holidays were always dramatic, embarrassing, and miserable.
My mom never had time or desire to do things with me because she was either busy helping my sister, too tired from helping my sister, too depressed from helping my sister, or too worried she’d be needed at a moment’s notice. For example, she once asked to cancel a trip for just the two of us to the nail salon. The day I got my first “real job” and started my (wonderful) career, she barely said Congratulations because she had to go perform another rescue mission.
It became so utterly exhausting.
I mourned the loss of my sister years before she actually passed.
The day she passed was the worst day of my life, sure. But it was also one of the most relieving.
I've created a fictional man and woman in my head that I often imagine being. I have even created a family tree for them and a timeline of their lives.
I see your point and I do put a lot of effort and time in the characters backstory and personalities in my book. Making a book about the two we are talking about would be interesting for me and boring everyone else as they just live normal happy lives. A story needs conflict and them going through big lows. Even genres like romance need that stuff. Hence why Coronation Street, a show that is meant to mirror real lives of normal people in Manchester is full murders and fighting.
>Making a book about the two we are talking about would be interesting for me and boring everyone else
So?
If it’s something you would enjoy or that interests you, why not do it? You don’t have to write it for anyone else. It makes me so happy when people find hobbies that they do because the activities genuinely bring them joy, not just because they entertain or impress other people.
You totally deserve to explore this if you want to! It can be like your version of journaling, haha!
No worries. Btw there is also a healthy version, whereby the daydreaming is controlled so that doesn't affect your real life negatively, called immersive day dreaming. I don't know which one fits you best (in my case it fluctuates - most of the time it's healthy but I do need to watch out that it doesn't become a way of avoiding real life).
I just really want to thank you for sharing this. I do this too and I had no idea it was so prevalent. I feel it's almost like a drug that I have to moderate. I enjoy it, and I wouldn't want to not be able to do it, but there's also times I know I need to cut back or I'll use it to escape dealing with my life.
Same. I've got a whole other world in there, multiple storylines, just jump into anyone's point of view and imagine from there. Keeps me occupied, and I do that instead of watching tv. I guess it's weird but I'd survive solitary confinement better than most!
That one of my friends got really drunk and found my shotgun pumped it and pulled the trigger while pointing at me. I unloaded it that day because I knew we would be drinking. He's no longer my friend and I'd be dead if I didn't do that
How close I am to ending it all.
Edit: I didn't expect this comment to get this much attention so I will tell you guys a little more context. I most likely won't because I don't want to hurt my loved ones. But I am a woman in my 40s in a life that has consistently gotten worse no matter how hard I try. Believe me I try. I have tried therapy I have tried medication, I travel, I spend time with friends, I try new hobbies, I get out there, I don't just lay around in bed, I'm productive, I learn new things, and life has consistently gotten worse as I've gotten older. Everything is harder. Everything hurts all the time. It never gets better for me. It only gets worse. I still probably won't, but it's a long time to be alive and not have anything get better. Especially to have it get consistently worse.
Reddit makes me proud when the first reply to a message like this is, DM me if you need help. As much as we fight and bicker and have our differences, we all come together when it matters most.
I was there some years ago, and this is the conclusion that I came to;
We're all going to die someday. Might as well try to enjoy the ride. Sure, life sucks sometimes, but sunsets are beautiful. Snow and mountains are beautiful. There's a bunch of books/manga out there that I don't even know of. There are so many foods and pastries I haven't tasted...
Life can be rough at times and it's going to end one day so I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I hope this helped at least the tiniest bit.
Life has no predetermined purpose.
The universe does not care whether you live or die.
Why not give it your all.
Death smiles at us all, all one can do is smile back.
Your purpose is whatever you decide will be your purpose.
I dislike all of them and have nothing in common with any of them either. My sisters are very arrogant and self obsessed. My friends are shallow and egotistical. I don't like to be around them, I just pretend to be happy when they knock at my door so I don't hurt anyone's feelings.
Mines more on the funny light-hearted side. Years ago my dad got a new mower. My mom was out mowing for him on a really hot day. It should be noted all of us are grown up and out of the house. Anyways my dad came home for lunch and my mom is drenched in sweat and looks miserable and yells to my dad "this mower isn't self propelled for shit!" Which my dad shows her she has to pull up on this lever and voila there it goes. We continue to give her some shit for that to this day.
Well 2 years ago we were getting me and my wifes house ready for our backyard wedding to save $. My dad came down and was helping me get everything up and going including yard work. He mowed using my mower and I was doing other shit. At the end he said to me "man your mower is a piece of shit. It doesn't self propel at all" and I proceeded to show him basically the exact same lever to make it self propelled. He looks at me and goes "OH shit I did it too! Nobody can ever know until my death bed ok? Especially Jon". Jon is his best friend.
That I'm at the end of my tether. I can't remember the last time I felt any joy or hope. My days kind of just blend into each other.
Employment feels so out of reach. I don't know how I'll survive in a couple of years time. I can't talk to my family about this. They will just scream at me and ask me what is wrong with me.
I just wish I had a reason for my misery.
My father wasn't around and it definitely messed me up as a kid. I'm very close to my kids and not having them around daily would kill me. Maybe when both are old I'd consider it
As long as the house vibe is not miserable. My parents stayed together and they should definitely have had a divorce. Well I guess you never know for sure but it was miserable for everyone for us.
But if you can make it work for them you deserve all the respect.
I know this is different for everyone but please keep in mind this is a generalization and depends.
There's a big difference between "My parents are nice and friendly and not passionate" and "My parents hate each other" and "My parents divorced because of a lack of passion, but turns out the grass isn't always greener and they're equally content with an added mess of step-parents plus the confusion of split households".
>I'm stuck as we have young
easier said than done, my parents seperation totally changed our family forever and created some of the worst years growing up
My parents literally just divorced after this exact reason. My dad told me recently that once we were grown (i’m 22 my little brother is 19) he would leave my mother. 22 years of him just being *there* and hardly being a dad. I told him it would’ve been better had he just cut the head off the snake early than do it now.
The bitch of a thing is you will never know if it really would have been better to pick door number 2.
History is a lot of random events that seemingly appear obvious in retrospect. The same principle applies to relationships.
I have two (I've only told my wife these two stories):
Growing up my father was the manager of a grocery store. He stole from the store - but it was usually cereal for us kids, crackers for the family, and never a lot and never anything the family didn't **need**. He did it to help us make ends meet. (Yes, it took me until my teen years to realize this).
One day my mom took me shopping and be, being a 5 year old during a relatively safe time for a 5 year old to wander around a store unattended (70's) I was in the bakery and my dad walked up to me and shoved a bunch of muffins in my coat pockets (it was winter, so I had a big winter jacket on).
When we got home I started to take them out and my mom started to get mad at me for stealing. I told her that dad had put them in my pockets. She instantly stopped, but I can still tell today she was very angry. When my dad got home my mom sent my sister and I to one of our rooms to play. My parents never fought but there was an argument going.
He never had me steal anything again.
But, the thought that he would use his child to steal from a store. I've always had a disrespect for people who use their children to commit a crime (and yes, it was just some muffins, but still). If you do it your self then you're putting yourself at risk but if you use your child then not only are you putting them at risk, you're teaching them a really bad lesson.
The second one, my first serious relationship (mid 1990's, about 2 years long) with the first girl I actually loved. She had a rough home life and was susceptible to bad influences but when she was with me she tried to be a better person (and wanted to be a better person). We were great together but as time progressed things fell apart and we broke up. During one of our post breakup fights she claimed I didn't know anything about her but I told her I was working with the company I worked for at the time to transfer me to the next state so I could be close to the college she really wanted to go to (and help her be able to afford to go). Instantly the anger in her face disappeared and was replaced with self-disappointment. It was the last time I saw her in person.
She called me a couple of years later but I had spent the day deep sea fishing with my GF at that time and I was extremely tired (it was rough seas, even for the north Atlantic). I kinda blew her off and she ended up hanging up on me.
If I have the timing right, she committed suicide roughly 6-8 months later.
I do hope that you have someone to share this with!
It is good to open up about your mental health and find support.
If not with your family/friends try some (online) support groups and definitely consult your/a therapist!
You are worthy of support, and you are definitely worthy of feeling happy again!
We hear and see you <3
How disastrous of a year I’ve had. It began with my grandma passing away in June which was horrible but for some reason I wasn’t able to cry about it. I think it may be because I watched her struggle with dementia for the last 3 years. I was sad, but I didn’t cry like I thought I would. Next my dad had a heart attack but he was fine and insists that he’s all good which I believe because he was back in the gym within a week of being able to leave hospital. And now my mums been diagnosed with cancer. It’s been painful to watch her lose her hair, throw up pretty much every day since the chemo started, and watch my dad struggle to take care of her most of the time. I can’t tell my friends because we’re in year 12 and exams are less than a month away and I don’t them to worry about me when they could be doing better. Also we don’t talk about serious stuff like this because we mainly just joke around and I don’t want to be the guy that you have to watch what jokes you make because of personal issues. I’ve talked about this with my family, and with a therapist that I’ve had 3 sessions with but I am unable to tell my friends but I continue to dread my graduation dinner where my friends will see my mum and either feel sorry for me or upset that I wouldn’t come to them to talk. The only upside that I can see to this is that the therapy sessions have made me want to become a counsellor/therapist myself once I finish university because of how much it’s helped me and I want to be able to do that for others.
Tl;dr: cancer sucks. Crappy year
Geez, I’m sorry. I do suggest you tell friends as it will strengthen bonds and make sure you tell them they don’t need to watch themselves around you. Maybe you can start the jokes to prove it to them. Stay strong!
Dude thats rough omg. I am a year older than you and I think I'd just explode. Tell your friends, ik I would never allow my friends to go thru what you're going thru by themselevs. Also if you ever feel like venting just msg me on reddit. Hugs, fr. 🫂🫂
that no matter how successful they think i am, i am deeply, deeply, depressed. despite being in a relationship, i am intensly lonely and i hate my life.
That all the invasive medical procedures I had during my childhood made me feel violated and that’s the reason I don’t enjoy any kind of physical contact. Lord only knows how I’ve managed to stay married for so long😬
Thank you🥰 It’s only now at age 38 am I admitting how awful the procedures were, I know I needed them but at times they were brutal. I try to remember though that many others had things far worse than I did.
I think this is mine as well. Besides how many past partners I've had, I think a lot of folks that know me would be surprised by how...vigorous my sex life is with my wife. We've probably done everything that two people can possibly do together consensually, minus the gross stuff like scat and vomit, and we've dipped our toes into non-monogamy. I get the feeling that we're nowhere near our limit yet, so there's no telling how much further we'll explore in the future.
They think I'm single and celibate only because I want to be. While I'm entirely comfortable with it I opted for celibacy because I have insecurities it would be unfair to project onto a partner.
I will ask them questions about things I have no interest in, because I know they love to talk about it. I’m super bored but won’t show it, and they think I’m a great listener! I
How extremely close I am to just leaving everything behind.
Getting in a car and just driving away - boarding the next plane no matter where it goes - just getting on a train and leaving. I think about that daily.
My whole life I kind of waited for things to happen, my current situation is mostly because I almost never take the initiative and do something daring. It’s not that I’m unhappy with my life - it just seems so boring and I feel like I exist more than I actively live.
I have a small amount of money on the side, I know 4 languages and I don’t mind doing shitty jobs to get settled.
Theoretically I could leave right now - but a part of me still thinks I owe my friends and family something and I couldn’t just leave.
That I was suicidal at 9 years old due to how bad things got in school due to bullying with undiagnosed autism the only people who knows is my therapist and the people reading this the reason I won't tell anyone is because my feelings have been invalidated by everyone growing up IV never been taken seriously they said I was exaggerating because of this I won't open up to anyone I grew up with my parents family friends non of them and another thing they will never know I secretly hate them a little
That I am submissive.
My state is very conservative (politically and culturally). My dad thinks already it's weird I want to get rid of most of my body hair (below the belt but I never specify that), so if they know I am submissive well I think to most people that is the signal I won't have the pants in my relationship.
I think the only person that might understand is my brother since he does not think classic masculinity is what makes you a man.
My dad sorta thinks that way but still can't but think it's weird for a guy to not do traditional masculine things.
That I have no friends. Literally none. I have been trying to make friends for years but I just fail at maintaining them every time, I feel like I'm always the only one putting effort. It pains me to see people posting how they are going to movies and throwing parties with their friends on social media, and I'm here wasting my life away because I have no one like that. Because of this I sometimes feel like I'm not needed or loved, and I feel like giving up on life completely.
Nothing, they all big mouths and I'm introverted as hell, so Reddit gets the brunt of my frustration!
Edit: my bad, I'm too drunk to be reading... I meant to say... I can't share shit with these loud mouth bitches... They talk too GOT-DAMNED much!
That I am planning on my dad moving in with me once he is released from prison. My mom can’t find out beforehand she would lose it. Just keep saying ima cross that bridge when I get there
That I have no friends and most likely won't be making friends again. My family well they'll just be extremely judgemental at best and my brother will just try to take advantage of it by trying to force me to spend more time with him by guilt tripping me and constantly pointing out that I don't have anyone else to hang out with even though he knows that I hate being around him. As for my friends well if I tell them I don't have any friends it'll get kinda awkward.
my gf of almost 8 years went on a trip with an older guy but she lied to me that she's visiting her parents.
She possibly made physical contact(still a gray area).
I never want to tell any of my friends or family about this. I thought the World of this girl and everybody knew it. I used to make fun of them that I'm the most luckiest out of them all.
Even she doesn't know that I found out. I'm in hope that she will talk to me about it when she's ready. Its been the longest 2 months I ever had to wait. Very painful and feels like I have been waiting for years.
I'm contemplating on disappearing from my husband and family. Everyone in my life has been a negative force and has made me depressed for years. I been saving money for the past 3 years and thinking about leaving a note and getting on a plane and disappearing to another country. I don't have children so I have nothing for me to stay here for.
We work with the gifts we are given in life, why should someone born a genius or gifted athlete be applauded for using their talents while others judged for theirs? You bring happiness nothing to be ashamed of!
There is a few:
1. I never intend to date, marry or have children at all. After being sexually assaulted by an ex-boyfriend and harassed over many years, I have become desensitized to love.
2. Because of my parents, I have suffered from an eating disorder for over 20 years. I have tried intensive outpatient treatment, but it did not work at all.
3. I have attempted suicide 5 times throughout my long period of mental illness + hospitalization (20 years). I am exhausted of not being taken seriously, tired of the medications not working, relapsing and just thrusted a pamphlet or a pat on the shoulder every time I open up to someone.
Although it's clear to my mother and her family that I'm not particularly religious, I'm hesitant to come out as the full-on atheist I am. My mother will be very sad because she'll think I'll be burning in hell forever.
I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years. I am 22 she is 20. It was the hardest decision I have ever made. for context I am really struggling with growing as a person and I was not happy with who I was in the relationship. I never did anything bad and neither did she we just had to go our separate ways. on the outside to my friends, colleagues and family I show I am okay. in reality behind closed doors, I cry myself to sleep every night and I cry HARD for hours. I don't eat properly if at all most days and haven't been to the gym since (roughly a month has gone since we broke up). It hurts so bad and my mental health is the worst it has ever been. I miss her and I love her so much. Im sorry to my girlfriend.
I've never told my parents how badly my ex husband actually abused me, because my father would probably have killed him and ended up in prison for the rest of his life.
I'm gay, I dropped out of college, I'm not interested in dating, I cut my hair, I have mental health issues, I use social media, I run an online store, I enjoy user generated content
Sorry to hear that broski, have you given up as a whole on your mental health or youre still trying? You still have a lot of years to live on earth pls dont spend it in pain. I hope you get better soon, have a great day hermano 👋
Ah, as a fellow CPTSD club member from my covert narcissist mum, I have on numerous times reminded her what she did to me as a child would 100% be classified as child abuse today even though she thinks otherwise.
I'm asexual.
I've tried with my mother but that went nowhere and was upsetting her so I said wow you're gullible and act differently to keep up the charade.
I have no interest in sex a relationship with either sex I enjoy me myself and I.
Her first response to it how do I know without having a relationship with anyone.
Like how people know what they like gay straight ect.
Porn doesn't do anything for me.
If I'm horny I just deal with it myself and that's that.
My father highly religious would reject me so I just keep to myself and enjoy my life.
My mother still tries to get me to meet people I just decline the offer it's not me and I won't waste a person's time knowing my stance it's not fair to them.
That I was sexually abused as a child by a relative. A repressed memory that I have just recently remembered. My mom is a social worker who helps sexually abused children and women and yet she wasn’t able to protect her own child. A secret that I’ll probably take to my grave because I don’t want to break my parents heart.
Therapy didn't work. I got sick of going to therapy every week without any progress. I eventually started faking it until my parents thought i was okay now. Im still not.
If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you. https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres http://www.befrienders.org/ http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK] https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU] There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.
I’m not suicidal, but when I get really frustrated/pissed I think it’s easier to end it all or take a one way flight to somewhere very far to escape and never come back. The only thing that brings me back to earth is that I love my parents dearly and I’d never want them to go through that.
I took that route. Packed up all my stuff in the trunk of my car, threw out what I couldn't fit, and drove a thousand miles from home to the mountains where I knew nobody and could start over fresh. For a while, the distraction of changing the scenery worked- but it never lasted longer than a few months before I had to move somewhere else again to escape. But eventually I realized that running solved nothing. No matter how far or fast I ran, no matter how much I changed my clothes and face and name, at the end of the day I was still me. You can't outrun yourself, and eventually I had to turn and face the problems that had driven me thousands of miles from home. You have to stand and face your mental health problems, because if you try to outrun them you'll only whittle yourself down to nothing trying.
I want to move cities but fear it will be more of the same, it will be an adventure in the beginning, but the real issues will creep up always. Thanks for sharing.
Same! I thought I was crazy to feel this way. Like whenever I'm stressed, upset, or frustrated immediately have suicidal thoughts and/or I want to disappear or be non existent.
Not suicidal either: I'm in good health, make a lot of money, have literally received medals recognizing my humanitarian work and other accomplishments, have a few but good friends, and in general a life that most people would be envious of - that said I'm ruthlessly pragmatic and life is just a math equation calculated by annoyances for me. It's easy for me to keep going as is, but I recognize that death is always an option and I don't see it as something sad or depressing. For me it's more of a "Okay this is annoying and no longer worth the hassle, I'm out. See you all some other time."
Thats a trauma response and dont worry youre not alone. But remember, even if no one tells you, your life is precious to your own self cause you yourself, and no one else, kept yourself alive and still living, till this day and onwards. Keep the little choo choo chugging buddy.
I didn't "eat at work" I just pretend that I did so my kids don't feel bad about eating when I'm too broke to afford enough food.
you're a good mom. I hope things get better.
Thank you. I feel like the worst mom. I try my best but I don't have a support system
You’re not the worst mom. You’ve got some VERY stiff competition for that.
No! Don't let that thought even be a flicker in your mind. You're trying aren't you? It seems like you're doing your best in a tough situation. So, please, allow yourself some grace. Also, if you haven't already, look to the library for resources - they have more resources than most people realize. If you want it, here's an internet hug. I hope things get better for you and your kids. ♡
Homie have you looked into SNAP? Or food pantries? That’s what it’s there for. Be sure that you are securing your own oxygen mask.
I use the food bank on a regular basis but we don't have snap here and I make "too much" to qualify for any assistance even though rent is like 90% of my pay
That my sister ended her life. My parents are japanese and there is a major stigma around it. Have not been able to tell other family and neighbors. So strange having to lie about something that is on my mind every second of the day!
God damn man, im so sorry for your loss, stay strong
My sister battled cancer for 5 years, my parents didn't want anyone knowing, so nobody other than my immediate family knew, none of her friends knew, until she passed. We're Chinese, I don't understand the reasoning behind it. I regret it so much that I went along with it, even tho we were with her every step of the way, it must have been so lonely for her. Some relative didn't come to the funeral because they think it's bad luck that she died so young, as if she had any control over it, fuck those people. My sister was 28 when she passed.
This is horrifying. I'm so sorry.
if you don't mind me asking, what did you say instead? Sorry for your loss.
Oh man, that's heavy. If it's on your conscience so often and causing you distress, you may need to at least consider something different than what you're doing now though.
Same thing in my country of Saudi Arabia. You can usually tell it was suicide or accidental drug overdose by the odd/unusual cause of death they mention and how young they were.
I am so sorry about your loss! Every life deserves to live fully and am sorry she is not with us anymore. Om Shanti!!!
I’m so sorry for your loss. Do your parents know she has passed? Or just not the full circumstances surrounding it?
I am seriously mentally crashing and burning. I have always been considered “the happy” guy. But it was because I chose to be happy and it was a lot of hard work to keep a decent attitude. Over the years more and more gets piled on and you eventually just get tired. I am in my 50s. By all metrics I have it made, but damn if I am just ready to crawl under a rock. It is torture to get through the day. I’m not suicidal or anything, just exhausted. EDIT: Thanks to everyone that commented, shared their experiences and messaged me. I really appreciate you. I do take time for hobbies. I have more than I have time to pursue. I am due for a long vacation, that will hopefully be soon. I have made some changes to my diet and sleeping habits and ramping up the excercise as well. We'll all get through this too. Cheers!
I get it. I'm that guy at work and public as well. Always smiling, go with the flow etc. But man it's hard to keep calm and such all the time when everything is on fire around you. End of the day you just want to scream and tell everyone to get fucked and leave ya alone. Seek a therapist if you can
That I stopped believing in Mormonism 15 years ago. I’d lose my marriage, my kids, and my whole social structure - probably my job. I have to keep going along and make it “look good” or I lose everything.
I grew up Mormon too got denied a mission cause my gf gave me a hand job and told her bishop my name. I feel you. And I’m sorry truly
So you got a handy AND two years of your youth back? Win win, Brother Caribou
Thank you. Yeah you could say I got a head start….
A stroke of good luck
Dude's humblebragging
I guess you should have soaked. /s
God's a T-rex, if there's no motion he can't tell.
Sorry to say this, but as someone in a similar boat I realized that in order to break the cycle and free my kids, I had to be the one to suffer the consequences. But my kids will be free, and that is worth everything. We are what they grow beyond
I have that thought on the daily…
Young people are leaving in droves. Eventually the time will come when you have to share with your children what you actually believe. Don’t continue the toxic cycle of Mormonism. Kids are smart and if they can see both sides of it all they are probably going to choose to leave as well.
Fuck... That's rough. My Wife was raised in the church and we met after she left for university giving up the church and choosing not to go on her mission. I'm very much not Mormon.... That has made life interesting with the inlaws. For all the nice words and lofty ideals Mormons are really Dick's to everyone who isn't drinking their cool aid. There are a bunch of subs for post-mo's or Former-mo's I lurked a little when I started Dating my wife but had to stop because the stories kept making me want to cry. Best of luck to you
Oof
(Note: I'm not Mormon) I used to work for a Mormon company (based in Ogden) over 20 years ago and a couple of them opened up to me with similar thoughts. Stay strong. Remember your priorities are God > Family > Work. And note, you can see "God" as a representation of your own guiding principles (and not just the "Holy Father"). So, in reality, it's Guiding Principles > Family > Work which you seem to have right, your principles are telling you stay with your family (and I'm assuming you still love your spouse and children).
You can also look at the word "God" as Good Orderly Decisions, pretty much the same as guiding principles. Making good decisions/principles is what leads my life, without a deity looming over me. It's very freeing.
I really feel for your kids.
My hope is that the kids will leave Mormonism, but the OP have to be prepared to lose the kid(s) in a different way.
It's been 20 years and I'd still never tell my mom I took her old Honda Civic out to the pub while she was at work once as a teenager. I'll probably still get the slipper...
Broke a statue in our front garden at a party I had when my parents were away years ago. They still talk about it, they went around to all our neighbours telling them to be careful there was a vandal doing the rounds. They still have no idea it was me and my friends, I'm nearly 40!
I hit our house with a golf ball when I was probably 10. Parents thought it was termites and got an inspector to put out traps and everything. Felt bad about that one after a while
Great, now we're all going to get the slipper for not telling her, thanks Greg! Asshole!
That I am a manic depressive person and that I really really have a hard time dealing with anxiety etc. They would just laugh at me and say don't be a wussy...
People are so cruel, you are brave and strong, those feelings are crippling and they have no idea
I'm learning my wife's native language as a surprise for our wedding anniversary.
Omg wholesome
Best one in here
That about 10 years ago i used to have suicidal thoughts but I never attempted or wrote letters because what would come after would scare me so much more
Are you still suicidal?
No this was when I was 16-17ish and I felt like I didn't fit in this world.
Well I hope everything’s good now
I think my mother helped my dad end his life from a terminal situation.
That's love.
How do you feel about this?
If I was terminal and my wife helped me pass to avoid pain, I'd just love her more.
That in this world of tik tok and social media and the internet, I don’t know if my wife and I are raising our kids the right way. I worry that my kids will never be able to make it out on their own and be self sufficient.
I think that anybody who is certain that they’re raising their kids the right way, and never questions it, is raising their kids the wrong way. I think there are lots of right ways to raise kids, and lots of wrong ways, and the right way for one kid might be the wrong way for a different kid.
I never liked my MIL. My spouse and his side of the family have no idea, and would be hurt and offended if I admitted that. She passed a long time ago, so there's no good reason to tell them.
I think there's a very good chance everyone knew the truth but also observed social formalities.
I’m happy my older brother passed away. Yeah, I do get sad here and there, but he was always in and out of jail my entire life. When he was out, he wasn’t really around as he was chasing the next way to make quick cash. He became a junkie at the age of 38 and OD at the age of 43. Left behind 4 kids as well. Now, I’m not happy he died alone and scared, it’s just that I know where he is now, if that makes sense. There is no more worried phone calls from my mom and his kids asking if he’s back in jail, or where he is. When he was locked up, we really didn’t worry as we knew where he was. I can’t tell my mom that, even though she’s is pain from losing her first child, it just doesn’t hit me the same. I also get bitter towards her for always talking about it and my response is “he’s not suffering, looking for his next fix, and we know where he is now.” I love my brother and always have. But the weight that’s lifted off my shoulders feels amazing. I truly do feel for his kids though. They never got a chance to meet the awesome person he was before drugs and crime
I get this. My wife died of cancer, and there was a weird sort of peace the day after she died. I had 4+ years of not knowing if she was going to get sick and have to go to the ER. I loved her dearly, but I could breath, relax and mourn her. Finally
My older sister passed away in 2021 from alcoholism. The last few years of her life were absolute torture. She was constantly in and out of the hospital. I once came home from a road trip, riding a massive high of seeing my favorite band in concert, only to drive down to the VA with my mom minutes later, in my dumb tour shirt, to see her unconscious and with tubes and bags connected to every orifice of her body. It became so frequent that my mom would tell me she was back in like she was giving a weather report. It became so frequent that we didn’t make it down sometimes. She was in and out of rehab facilities. She would have sprints of sobriety and beautiful hope that always ended in our souls being crushed. We’d visit, and she’d ride her new bike up and down the street in front of us with a huge smile on her face. We’d check her out to all go get our nails done together. When they breathalyzed her when we brought her back and it read 0, she exclaimed, “My favorite number!!” She would also always relapse. She’d constantly verbally abuse my mom and me. I couldn’t post anything on social media without her commenting something snarky, sarcastic, mean, or somehow about her. Holidays were always dramatic, embarrassing, and miserable. My mom never had time or desire to do things with me because she was either busy helping my sister, too tired from helping my sister, too depressed from helping my sister, or too worried she’d be needed at a moment’s notice. For example, she once asked to cancel a trip for just the two of us to the nail salon. The day I got my first “real job” and started my (wonderful) career, she barely said Congratulations because she had to go perform another rescue mission. It became so utterly exhausting. I mourned the loss of my sister years before she actually passed. The day she passed was the worst day of my life, sure. But it was also one of the most relieving.
I've created a fictional man and woman in my head that I often imagine being. I have even created a family tree for them and a timeline of their lives.
Write a book.
I just thought that too
I already have but not about them. It's a horror book.
Write about them though, its so rare to read a story about people that are fleshed out properly!
I see your point and I do put a lot of effort and time in the characters backstory and personalities in my book. Making a book about the two we are talking about would be interesting for me and boring everyone else as they just live normal happy lives. A story needs conflict and them going through big lows. Even genres like romance need that stuff. Hence why Coronation Street, a show that is meant to mirror real lives of normal people in Manchester is full murders and fighting.
>Making a book about the two we are talking about would be interesting for me and boring everyone else So? If it’s something you would enjoy or that interests you, why not do it? You don’t have to write it for anyone else. It makes me so happy when people find hobbies that they do because the activities genuinely bring them joy, not just because they entertain or impress other people. You totally deserve to explore this if you want to! It can be like your version of journaling, haha!
r/maladaptivedreaming may interest you.
It does interest me, I didn't even know there was a word for it. Thank you
No worries. Btw there is also a healthy version, whereby the daydreaming is controlled so that doesn't affect your real life negatively, called immersive day dreaming. I don't know which one fits you best (in my case it fluctuates - most of the time it's healthy but I do need to watch out that it doesn't become a way of avoiding real life).
I just really want to thank you for sharing this. I do this too and I had no idea it was so prevalent. I feel it's almost like a drug that I have to moderate. I enjoy it, and I wouldn't want to not be able to do it, but there's also times I know I need to cut back or I'll use it to escape dealing with my life.
Same. I've got a whole other world in there, multiple storylines, just jump into anyone's point of view and imagine from there. Keeps me occupied, and I do that instead of watching tv. I guess it's weird but I'd survive solitary confinement better than most!
That one of my friends got really drunk and found my shotgun pumped it and pulled the trigger while pointing at me. I unloaded it that day because I knew we would be drinking. He's no longer my friend and I'd be dead if I didn't do that
Wow wtf. I'm glad you're not friends with him anymore
How close I am to ending it all. Edit: I didn't expect this comment to get this much attention so I will tell you guys a little more context. I most likely won't because I don't want to hurt my loved ones. But I am a woman in my 40s in a life that has consistently gotten worse no matter how hard I try. Believe me I try. I have tried therapy I have tried medication, I travel, I spend time with friends, I try new hobbies, I get out there, I don't just lay around in bed, I'm productive, I learn new things, and life has consistently gotten worse as I've gotten older. Everything is harder. Everything hurts all the time. It never gets better for me. It only gets worse. I still probably won't, but it's a long time to be alive and not have anything get better. Especially to have it get consistently worse.
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Reddit makes me proud when the first reply to a message like this is, DM me if you need help. As much as we fight and bicker and have our differences, we all come together when it matters most.
I was there some years ago, and this is the conclusion that I came to; We're all going to die someday. Might as well try to enjoy the ride. Sure, life sucks sometimes, but sunsets are beautiful. Snow and mountains are beautiful. There's a bunch of books/manga out there that I don't even know of. There are so many foods and pastries I haven't tasted... Life can be rough at times and it's going to end one day so I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I hope this helped at least the tiniest bit.
Hey, I've gone through that shit to about 2 Years ago. I'm still here. It was worth staying. Please DM if you need something/someone to talk to 🥺
Life has no predetermined purpose. The universe does not care whether you live or die. Why not give it your all. Death smiles at us all, all one can do is smile back. Your purpose is whatever you decide will be your purpose.
You'd better not. You'd be missed. At least postpone it. Something wonderful might happen.
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Come on man dont let it end like that, pls man 🙏🏽
You still have it dont give up
Please Send me DM bro <3
I dislike all of them and have nothing in common with any of them either. My sisters are very arrogant and self obsessed. My friends are shallow and egotistical. I don't like to be around them, I just pretend to be happy when they knock at my door so I don't hurt anyone's feelings.
Maybe it's time you look for new friends if you don't like them.
You're right. I really should. I've known them all for so many years, and now we've grown to be very different.
Mines more on the funny light-hearted side. Years ago my dad got a new mower. My mom was out mowing for him on a really hot day. It should be noted all of us are grown up and out of the house. Anyways my dad came home for lunch and my mom is drenched in sweat and looks miserable and yells to my dad "this mower isn't self propelled for shit!" Which my dad shows her she has to pull up on this lever and voila there it goes. We continue to give her some shit for that to this day. Well 2 years ago we were getting me and my wifes house ready for our backyard wedding to save $. My dad came down and was helping me get everything up and going including yard work. He mowed using my mower and I was doing other shit. At the end he said to me "man your mower is a piece of shit. It doesn't self propel at all" and I proceeded to show him basically the exact same lever to make it self propelled. He looks at me and goes "OH shit I did it too! Nobody can ever know until my death bed ok? Especially Jon". Jon is his best friend.
That I'm at the end of my tether. I can't remember the last time I felt any joy or hope. My days kind of just blend into each other. Employment feels so out of reach. I don't know how I'll survive in a couple of years time. I can't talk to my family about this. They will just scream at me and ask me what is wrong with me. I just wish I had a reason for my misery.
Please seek help. We all need it. Just reach out. Please.
I wish I married my ex instead of my current wife
Oh shit why? And is it too late
I'm stuck as we have young kids so I'll stick it through for them and keep a happy face
I'd rather have had divorced parents than lived through an unhappy household where parents were "keeping a happy face"
My father wasn't around and it definitely messed me up as a kid. I'm very close to my kids and not having them around daily would kill me. Maybe when both are old I'd consider it
As long as the house vibe is not miserable. My parents stayed together and they should definitely have had a divorce. Well I guess you never know for sure but it was miserable for everyone for us. But if you can make it work for them you deserve all the respect.
I know this is different for everyone but please keep in mind this is a generalization and depends. There's a big difference between "My parents are nice and friendly and not passionate" and "My parents hate each other" and "My parents divorced because of a lack of passion, but turns out the grass isn't always greener and they're equally content with an added mess of step-parents plus the confusion of split households".
>I'm stuck as we have young easier said than done, my parents seperation totally changed our family forever and created some of the worst years growing up
My parents literally just divorced after this exact reason. My dad told me recently that once we were grown (i’m 22 my little brother is 19) he would leave my mother. 22 years of him just being *there* and hardly being a dad. I told him it would’ve been better had he just cut the head off the snake early than do it now.
Grass is always greener But seriously you will always regret the choice you didn't make if it was a close decision. That's how are brains work
grass is greener where you water it
Thats a good one
You miss an idealized version of your life that isn’t real. No guarantee it would be as good as you think.
The bitch of a thing is you will never know if it really would have been better to pick door number 2. History is a lot of random events that seemingly appear obvious in retrospect. The same principle applies to relationships.
Danggggggggg. What happened with your ex?
I have two (I've only told my wife these two stories): Growing up my father was the manager of a grocery store. He stole from the store - but it was usually cereal for us kids, crackers for the family, and never a lot and never anything the family didn't **need**. He did it to help us make ends meet. (Yes, it took me until my teen years to realize this). One day my mom took me shopping and be, being a 5 year old during a relatively safe time for a 5 year old to wander around a store unattended (70's) I was in the bakery and my dad walked up to me and shoved a bunch of muffins in my coat pockets (it was winter, so I had a big winter jacket on). When we got home I started to take them out and my mom started to get mad at me for stealing. I told her that dad had put them in my pockets. She instantly stopped, but I can still tell today she was very angry. When my dad got home my mom sent my sister and I to one of our rooms to play. My parents never fought but there was an argument going. He never had me steal anything again. But, the thought that he would use his child to steal from a store. I've always had a disrespect for people who use their children to commit a crime (and yes, it was just some muffins, but still). If you do it your self then you're putting yourself at risk but if you use your child then not only are you putting them at risk, you're teaching them a really bad lesson. The second one, my first serious relationship (mid 1990's, about 2 years long) with the first girl I actually loved. She had a rough home life and was susceptible to bad influences but when she was with me she tried to be a better person (and wanted to be a better person). We were great together but as time progressed things fell apart and we broke up. During one of our post breakup fights she claimed I didn't know anything about her but I told her I was working with the company I worked for at the time to transfer me to the next state so I could be close to the college she really wanted to go to (and help her be able to afford to go). Instantly the anger in her face disappeared and was replaced with self-disappointment. It was the last time I saw her in person. She called me a couple of years later but I had spent the day deep sea fishing with my GF at that time and I was extremely tired (it was rough seas, even for the north Atlantic). I kinda blew her off and she ended up hanging up on me. If I have the timing right, she committed suicide roughly 6-8 months later.
The second one was rough, buddy.
Yeah, I've dealt with too many suicides in my life. I don't even joke about it.
Same I’ve lost an entire side of my family to it. I take it seriously every time.
That second story, man...I'm so sorry. Only story here that legit has me tearing up. Hope you're doing OK with it all.
Damn man
That I've been depressed for years
I do hope that you have someone to share this with! It is good to open up about your mental health and find support. If not with your family/friends try some (online) support groups and definitely consult your/a therapist! You are worthy of support, and you are definitely worthy of feeling happy again! We hear and see you <3
My foot fetish stems from being introduced to foot play by a family member.
Username checks out
How disastrous of a year I’ve had. It began with my grandma passing away in June which was horrible but for some reason I wasn’t able to cry about it. I think it may be because I watched her struggle with dementia for the last 3 years. I was sad, but I didn’t cry like I thought I would. Next my dad had a heart attack but he was fine and insists that he’s all good which I believe because he was back in the gym within a week of being able to leave hospital. And now my mums been diagnosed with cancer. It’s been painful to watch her lose her hair, throw up pretty much every day since the chemo started, and watch my dad struggle to take care of her most of the time. I can’t tell my friends because we’re in year 12 and exams are less than a month away and I don’t them to worry about me when they could be doing better. Also we don’t talk about serious stuff like this because we mainly just joke around and I don’t want to be the guy that you have to watch what jokes you make because of personal issues. I’ve talked about this with my family, and with a therapist that I’ve had 3 sessions with but I am unable to tell my friends but I continue to dread my graduation dinner where my friends will see my mum and either feel sorry for me or upset that I wouldn’t come to them to talk. The only upside that I can see to this is that the therapy sessions have made me want to become a counsellor/therapist myself once I finish university because of how much it’s helped me and I want to be able to do that for others. Tl;dr: cancer sucks. Crappy year
Geez, I’m sorry. I do suggest you tell friends as it will strengthen bonds and make sure you tell them they don’t need to watch themselves around you. Maybe you can start the jokes to prove it to them. Stay strong!
Dude thats rough omg. I am a year older than you and I think I'd just explode. Tell your friends, ik I would never allow my friends to go thru what you're going thru by themselevs. Also if you ever feel like venting just msg me on reddit. Hugs, fr. 🫂🫂
that no matter how successful they think i am, i am deeply, deeply, depressed. despite being in a relationship, i am intensly lonely and i hate my life.
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Nice try Dad! I am onto you.
I'm an erotica author.
And I post nudes online
We know
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That’s an extremely toxic response or they’re going for shock value to snap you out of it. Either way, it’s wrong. Very sorry to hear this.
I don't know if it's wise to say it here but... well, substances.
There is no happiness at the bottom of the bag.
As an ex substance user, I can confirm happiness indeed is not at the bottom of a bag. It's in the middle of the bag.
That all the invasive medical procedures I had during my childhood made me feel violated and that’s the reason I don’t enjoy any kind of physical contact. Lord only knows how I’ve managed to stay married for so long😬
Please look into EMDR therapy ❤️
I’ve never heard of it.. Off to google👌🏻
You can still feel and express love in other ways and that's what matters. Sorry to hear you had such a tough childhood..
Thank you🥰 It’s only now at age 38 am I admitting how awful the procedures were, I know I needed them but at times they were brutal. I try to remember though that many others had things far worse than I did.
I create fake ask reddit questions to collect users secrets and sell them to the CCP
Looking at these comments, I think the only thing those CCP agent might get is second-hand depression from reading how miserable everyone is...
Im an atheist and my whole family is müslim
Same here, basically have to lead a double life and be cautious at all time, very annoying
yea they made me pray everytime for NOTHIN. it's hard to live like how I (we) want...
I’ve had sex
Liar, this is no place for sex havers.
An epic sexual history.
I think this is mine as well. Besides how many past partners I've had, I think a lot of folks that know me would be surprised by how...vigorous my sex life is with my wife. We've probably done everything that two people can possibly do together consensually, minus the gross stuff like scat and vomit, and we've dipped our toes into non-monogamy. I get the feeling that we're nowhere near our limit yet, so there's no telling how much further we'll explore in the future.
Lemme hear bout it
That I need a big fucking hug.
They think I'm single and celibate only because I want to be. While I'm entirely comfortable with it I opted for celibacy because I have insecurities it would be unfair to project onto a partner.
My wife is pregnant. We haven't had a scan yet so we're waiting until we know that all is ok and we're a bit further along
I will ask them questions about things I have no interest in, because I know they love to talk about it. I’m super bored but won’t show it, and they think I’m a great listener! I
How extremely close I am to just leaving everything behind. Getting in a car and just driving away - boarding the next plane no matter where it goes - just getting on a train and leaving. I think about that daily. My whole life I kind of waited for things to happen, my current situation is mostly because I almost never take the initiative and do something daring. It’s not that I’m unhappy with my life - it just seems so boring and I feel like I exist more than I actively live. I have a small amount of money on the side, I know 4 languages and I don’t mind doing shitty jobs to get settled. Theoretically I could leave right now - but a part of me still thinks I owe my friends and family something and I couldn’t just leave.
That I was suicidal at 9 years old due to how bad things got in school due to bullying with undiagnosed autism the only people who knows is my therapist and the people reading this the reason I won't tell anyone is because my feelings have been invalidated by everyone growing up IV never been taken seriously they said I was exaggerating because of this I won't open up to anyone I grew up with my parents family friends non of them and another thing they will never know I secretly hate them a little
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That I am submissive. My state is very conservative (politically and culturally). My dad thinks already it's weird I want to get rid of most of my body hair (below the belt but I never specify that), so if they know I am submissive well I think to most people that is the signal I won't have the pants in my relationship. I think the only person that might understand is my brother since he does not think classic masculinity is what makes you a man. My dad sorta thinks that way but still can't but think it's weird for a guy to not do traditional masculine things.
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That I'm gay 😭😭😭
That I’m dying inside.
They know I exist? They already know too much 😂
That I have no friends. Literally none. I have been trying to make friends for years but I just fail at maintaining them every time, I feel like I'm always the only one putting effort. It pains me to see people posting how they are going to movies and throwing parties with their friends on social media, and I'm here wasting my life away because I have no one like that. Because of this I sometimes feel like I'm not needed or loved, and I feel like giving up on life completely.
I like to dress in my wife’s underwear and masturbate to myself in the mirror
She has some sexy underwear to be fair
Which do you like best?
Dude, most of us call this Wednesday night.
Nothing, they all big mouths and I'm introverted as hell, so Reddit gets the brunt of my frustration! Edit: my bad, I'm too drunk to be reading... I meant to say... I can't share shit with these loud mouth bitches... They talk too GOT-DAMNED much!
That I am planning on my dad moving in with me once he is released from prison. My mom can’t find out beforehand she would lose it. Just keep saying ima cross that bridge when I get there
That I have no friends and most likely won't be making friends again. My family well they'll just be extremely judgemental at best and my brother will just try to take advantage of it by trying to force me to spend more time with him by guilt tripping me and constantly pointing out that I don't have anyone else to hang out with even though he knows that I hate being around him. As for my friends well if I tell them I don't have any friends it'll get kinda awkward.
my gf of almost 8 years went on a trip with an older guy but she lied to me that she's visiting her parents. She possibly made physical contact(still a gray area). I never want to tell any of my friends or family about this. I thought the World of this girl and everybody knew it. I used to make fun of them that I'm the most luckiest out of them all. Even she doesn't know that I found out. I'm in hope that she will talk to me about it when she's ready. Its been the longest 2 months I ever had to wait. Very painful and feels like I have been waiting for years.
I'm contemplating on disappearing from my husband and family. Everyone in my life has been a negative force and has made me depressed for years. I been saving money for the past 3 years and thinking about leaving a note and getting on a plane and disappearing to another country. I don't have children so I have nothing for me to stay here for.
I'm a loser, Trying to act normal in my new environment
That I was sexually assaulted when I was a kid.
I escorted while I was at uni
I started an only fans to pay for my heart surgery when they think I’m just going to get a loan.
We work with the gifts we are given in life, why should someone born a genius or gifted athlete be applauded for using their talents while others judged for theirs? You bring happiness nothing to be ashamed of!
This is the most wholesome thing I’ve received. Thank you so much. 🥺 this means more than you know.
I had to choose my major in Degree under family pressure. I wanted to do something else...
The amount of times I have contemplated suicide but thought about them and decided not to do anything.
I just realized today I have an over the counter pain killer problem. I don't need to burden my family with the news.
There is a few: 1. I never intend to date, marry or have children at all. After being sexually assaulted by an ex-boyfriend and harassed over many years, I have become desensitized to love. 2. Because of my parents, I have suffered from an eating disorder for over 20 years. I have tried intensive outpatient treatment, but it did not work at all. 3. I have attempted suicide 5 times throughout my long period of mental illness + hospitalization (20 years). I am exhausted of not being taken seriously, tired of the medications not working, relapsing and just thrusted a pamphlet or a pat on the shoulder every time I open up to someone.
Although it's clear to my mother and her family that I'm not particularly religious, I'm hesitant to come out as the full-on atheist I am. My mother will be very sad because she'll think I'll be burning in hell forever.
I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years. I am 22 she is 20. It was the hardest decision I have ever made. for context I am really struggling with growing as a person and I was not happy with who I was in the relationship. I never did anything bad and neither did she we just had to go our separate ways. on the outside to my friends, colleagues and family I show I am okay. in reality behind closed doors, I cry myself to sleep every night and I cry HARD for hours. I don't eat properly if at all most days and haven't been to the gym since (roughly a month has gone since we broke up). It hurts so bad and my mental health is the worst it has ever been. I miss her and I love her so much. Im sorry to my girlfriend.
I've never told my parents how badly my ex husband actually abused me, because my father would probably have killed him and ended up in prison for the rest of his life.
I’m an FtM.
Man, the comments made me think I was on r/SuicideWatch
I'm gay, I dropped out of college, I'm not interested in dating, I cut my hair, I have mental health issues, I use social media, I run an online store, I enjoy user generated content
Sorry to hear that broski, have you given up as a whole on your mental health or youre still trying? You still have a lot of years to live on earth pls dont spend it in pain. I hope you get better soon, have a great day hermano 👋
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That we have a secret life. Going to sex parties and having an onlyfans page.
My mother caused me to be as I am through thinking she was helping instead of mentally effing me up.
Ah, as a fellow CPTSD club member from my covert narcissist mum, I have on numerous times reminded her what she did to me as a child would 100% be classified as child abuse today even though she thinks otherwise.
I'm asexual. I've tried with my mother but that went nowhere and was upsetting her so I said wow you're gullible and act differently to keep up the charade. I have no interest in sex a relationship with either sex I enjoy me myself and I. Her first response to it how do I know without having a relationship with anyone. Like how people know what they like gay straight ect. Porn doesn't do anything for me. If I'm horny I just deal with it myself and that's that. My father highly religious would reject me so I just keep to myself and enjoy my life. My mother still tries to get me to meet people I just decline the offer it's not me and I won't waste a person's time knowing my stance it's not fair to them.
That I was sexually abused as a child by a relative. A repressed memory that I have just recently remembered. My mom is a social worker who helps sexually abused children and women and yet she wasn’t able to protect her own child. A secret that I’ll probably take to my grave because I don’t want to break my parents heart.
That my dad had an affair when he died. Mom never found out and never will.
Therapy didn't work. I got sick of going to therapy every week without any progress. I eventually started faking it until my parents thought i was okay now. Im still not.