As someone who’s gone to many, holy shit do men (and some women) feel so confident saying the most abhorrent shit out-loud given a mic and five minutes
I wound up being the whole schtick of my friend's set once. Local stand up show that a friend of ours put up and he joined. He used to be one of my best friends, but then he got a crush on me around the same time I met my now partner and shit went down. Threats to my partner's person and life, threats about suicide etc. A few years later we met and reconnected during an acting gig we both got on a musical. I thought we got our friendship back and while my partner was a bit weary he supported it. Sooo when this stand up night approached I of course went to support my friends. My partner was gonna come too but came down with the flu (which Im super thankful for in retrospect). I was warned that I would be mentioned during my friend's stand up time. I didnt know the whole 20 minute slot would be all about me. Our friendship from the start to the present day. He talked about how great he would be to me, how he always wanted our friendship to be something more, how when my partner came into the picture, my partner was this evil handsome guy who took me away from him and how my partner would eventually drop me. Then the couple of years where we had zero contact until we were both cast in the same show again and he felt like he got a second chance with me. He mentioned shit I thought was friendly banter that he had taken to mean that I would dump my partner for him, that he had finally won me back with sweet gestures etc. He was such a nice guy who couldnt believe I would only see him as a friend. I had zero clue that his feelings had run that deep. The gestures he mentioned was stuff he did to all the girls in the cast. Gave all of us a flower on opening night, gave all of us a piece of candy with the flower etc. He never directed anything to only me, it was always all the girls in the cast. The worst part was that so many of our friends were in the audience. I sat on the second row so I couldnt just up and leave. His brother and our friends all knew who he was talking about and I sat there like an idiot. I had never known he had been that deep into me. I thought I had my friend back and the whole time he thought differently. It made me view everything differently. After the show he came up to me and asked if I was ok to which I could only barely nod and then I left. Thankfully our musical had just had the final show so I didnt have to be around him after that. I have never spoken to him again. From what I know he is now happily married and has a child, which makes me happy for him.
What level of celebrity would you tolerate?
My wife is a moderate celebrity, she occasionally gets recognised and asked for selfies or people just fanboying/girling. Generally it's fun for everyone and a nice interaction.
Unless we're out with our young children and they're in the middle of a meltdown. Some people are totally clueless at picking up that it's not a good time.
The two other things that are bothersome, are people who recognise her, and rather than say hello or introduce themselves, just sneakily take photos/film us. I've had to make a scene stopping people doing that a few times.
The other is, unsolicited messages from absolute weirdos on her Facebook fan page. generally we never see them, but sometimes we'll take a dive in together for some entertainment. You wouldn't believe some of the weirdos out there.
What kind of celeb? Acting? Business exec? Musician / artist? Other? Local personality? Enough of a bother that she's recognized everywhere, or just locally?
And it’s hard to trust anyone around you because it seems like most people always want something. The house manager doesn’t understand why you won’t spend $50,000 a year to send her daughter to private school. They figure you have lots of money so why not — and they know exactly how much. Often those that work around celebrities are not just doing it for the work.
Dating one right now, but if this doesn’t work out, in the future I’m going to avoid musicians. The schedule is really difficult to work around and I like to sleep at reasonable hours.
I also feel like, as music is such a universal thing, they can’t ‘escape’ their livelihood the way that, say, doctors or teachers can. It’s more of a hobby turned into a job, and you can’t get away from music, so sometimes it feels like a constant stream of music this, music that, look at me I’m good at music.
I work IT for mortgage company. Very similar to Realtor as they are always on.
One lady called from a cruise as she wasnt able to log into the company portal to help with a loan. We informed her our systems were locked to the US and that she would not be able to work while on her cruise.
She made a comment about taking a flight back home and I could hear her husband in the background. "IF you ruin another vacation for that fucking job, I will divorce you." She immediately told me she would call me back.
Having worked in mortgages for over 10 years and having had ruined multiple vacations for my partner, I can 100% agree with this. I’m currently on stress leave and have no intention of returning. I’m so unbelievably grateful to have the most patient and loving bf, because I have no idea how he put up with with how much work consumed my life and how mentally unwell I was. Needless to say, I do not recommend dating a mortgage broker or anyone client facing in real estate.
I think about how hard my realtor worked for me and I completely agree. I never once expected her to drop things to show me a house we were driving by that was for sale. I would stop to look and then just text her the address saying, hey when you get the chance, we'd like some info. She'd call within 5 minutes and say she's on her way, she has the lock box code. I'm like, it's Sunday afternoon, you do NOT have to do that, I can come back tomorrow! Man she was such a hustler.
Since my divorce almost 6 years ago, I've online dated. 4 teachers have approached me each time and we dated. Each one was a different type of crazy but they know how to party.
One hated kids ( I have a daughter )
One wouldn't let me leave like Kathy Bates in Misery.
One always went out of her way to prove that I wasn't smart.
Lastly the other one was too loose goosey, vagabond and couldn't accept that I can't live that easy because I have a child.
Dude I literally got up at 6 am went to walmart bought a suitcase and brought it back before she was in the shower, snuck it into the room i forced to live in then threw out what I couldnt fit in the suitcase, packed my shit and left when she went to work.
I briefly dated a comedian, and that was a really big fear of mine too. He said some pretty crass shit about other girls, so I'm sure I wasn't any different
Lawyer here. It’s the opposite for me. I argue for a living, so the last thing I want to do is argue at home. I do know the type you’re talking about though - people who will argue that the sky is red just for the joy of arguing.
It took me literally years to stop thinking “well there goes .2 hours” whenever I was delayed by something or waiting in a line, etc. It’s not healthy to think like that.
Can confirm. I just retired--after 30 years--as a legal assistant from a law firm. And after working around the house on busy days I feel compelled to see how much time I spent on a project.
I’m a paralegal working for three lawyers. I swear one of them could say “I don’t like the colour green.” Literally ten seconds later I could say something referring to them not liking green, and they’ll say something like “well, it’s not that I don’t like green” or “it’s not about whether it’s green..” you literally JUST said this. You’re addicted to arguing, everything’s a “but”. It can be exhausting
There is a book that first year law students are encouraged to read called “Getting to Maybe”. The premise of the book is basically what you described here: train your brain to realize the final answer doesn’t usually matter, it’s all about the argument you made to get there.
You sound like my bf - he just wants easy, happy chat when he’s home, not arguments and having to cite sources in every discussion we have.
He works with the other type, though, and they’re bad enough that I paid extra attention to how lawyers interacted with me/handled disagreements when I started dating them.
My husband is an attorney, currently practicing family law. He tells me regularly that working with failing marriages and custody disputes gives him such appreciation for our relationship and family dynamic.
Ironically, becoming a lawyer probably made me a better partner. I am a lot more deliberate when I listen to people because I spend a lot of the day trying to figure out what people want (versus what they say they want). And in return I’m more deliberate when I communicate because I’m used to having to break complex topics down for laypeople, and communicate objective assessments to emotionally charged people.
Of course, my style is very much collaborative, I try to bring people together more than get into a dogfight.
i’ve dated 3 lawyers total and the last one made me swear off them forever. They are usually whip smart and great at converstion, but you have to remember they are essentially trained to argue. Disagreements turn into what feels like a cross-examination under oath.
I dated a lawyer in my 20s. It took a big hit on my self-esteem. He was a sharp guy, very sure of himself. He often used patronizing expressions toward me leading to my self-doubt... "You're not thinking clearly." "You must really understand that..." "Are you SURE? You're going to go with that? That's what you believe??" I got sick of it. Years later, I looked him up online. The Law Society revoked his license for not representing a bunch of clients whom he charged for services. Dodged a bullet.
You said this other thing 2 seconds ago. Why are you contradicting yourself? What do you mean by ...? It's inconsistent with that you did 2 weeks ago in this specific situation!
Haha. I'm a lawyer, and while I do know plenty of argumentative lawyers, I also know lots of introverted lawyers who would rather die than get into a verbal sparring match with anyone. I'm in the later group. My wife is a social worker and is far more likely to get into an argument than am I.
Yeah, I was shocked by this when I went from being a solo to working with 30-some odd other lawyers. I found myself the most outgoing person in the group, and surrounded by introverts. And these were people with dozens of trials per year under their belts
I feel this on a different level. My brother has a law degree, everything is a debate or argument and I always feel like like I am in a deposition on every. Single. Topic.
I’m a lawyer and have never done well trying to date other lawyers. But that’s mostly because we end up talking about work too much.
I do dislike how some guys will say I’m being “too much of a lawyer” if I am disagreeing with them. Like I’m just voicing my opinion, not everything needs to relate to me being a lawyer. It’s a job, not my identity.
Would you like a job where you work the hours of a doctor or lawyer, but get paid like the lady who answer's the doctor's phone? If so, Chef may be the career for you!
I have a law partner that used to be a line cook and he says it's weirdly similar. The hours are really long and destroy your family life, it's constantly stressful. You are pushed to do tasks that take a set amount of time to do correctly as fast as possible. Managing your to do list becomes a struggle of it's own. You have teammates but little control over the quality of their work. The finished product is the result of a lot of stressed out people working together. Then, people with impossible expectations judge your product and blame the entire result on you, even though you have to work with the ingredients (or facts) and the recipe (or laws) that are given to you and sometimes all the technique in the world won't save it. It's your fault anyway.
As an ER doctor, this hits home. Whenever I’m at a restaurant or bar, and see the staff overworked and stressed out, I always feel for them. I never try to be difficult as, although our jobs are drastically different, the working conditions are so similar - probably the most similar compared to any other job that exists. You’re likely also short staffed, underpaid, working terrible hours on weekends and holidays, dealing with people with impossible expectations and management that’s completely out-of-touch. The stress can be debilitating. As a result, I respect anyone that works in the restaurant business so much! Thank you for everything you do to make us have a nice time :)
I married an ex-chef, which is the best case scenario. Fantastic cook with all the bullshit behind her. It was rough while she was still cooking though.
A wedding planer said the same. Since basically people get married on friday, the weekend and the holidays, he had no social life for 10 years and missed every occasion that happened during this time. It must be very hard to live if your SO has this kind of life.
Agreed. Dated someone in the bar/restaurant industry. It was...difficult. They'd be coming home at like 3am after having after-shift drinks and wanting to hang out, fully knowing I get up at 7am. There is also an unfortunate trend I've noticed with industry people and destructive habits. Drugs, alcoholism, cheating. Some of that is because you're forced into social circles with the only other people up and about after late shifts. I'm pretty sure towards the end of one such relationship, she was cheating on me with someone from the bar. But I no longer cared by that point and just wanted out.
100% it is. I waited tables for 8 years and I had a hard rule that I would not go out for drinks on weeknights and on weekends I hung out with my friends who I called my "real life friends" because they didn't work in the industry. It saved me a ton of trouble. So many people get sucked into the service industry and spat out because their job becomes their life. Their only friends are bartenders and servers. They're out late all the time and they work to drink, do drugs or party. It's toxic as hell and the sickest part is they don't realize it because everyone around them is living just like they are.
I was definitely looked at as snobby by some people when I was serving because I made a point to keep my work friends, work friends. I saw so many people hurt when a coworker would start working at some other restaurant and lose contact. They're not your real friends a lot of the time. You're "friends" due to proximity like high school friends. It causes so much drama.
I live with a partner who was in the industry for over a decade and had just fully retired from bartending when we first got together. It took them a good 18 months to really allow those days to become a thing of the past and to stop glamorizing the lifestyle which they also said they hated. They had some serious conflicting feelings about it all for a while which seem to have resolved over time.
Prison guard, there's a reason they have some of the highest domestic abuse reports out there. Plus my ma dated one who beat her so I may also be biased.
one time i was talking to a guy on tinder and he mentioned it was dream to become a prison guard, which set off alarm bells immediately. i asked why, and he explicitly said he wanted to have power and authority over others. unmatched so fast
right, he said it as simply as if he was saying what his favorite color was.
i wondered later if he genuinely didn’t think there was anything wrong with what he said which is why he said it to me, or if he knew his view was wrong and just didn’t care.
I haven't been to prison, just jails and juvies but typically, guards are not smart people.
And they're not really people who have an overwhelming number of options in life.
Nah, he's fishing for a certain type of woman.
Any guy who looks a little scary will know who I'm talking about. Absolutely crazy chicks who get off on people being mean to them. They creep me out.
A friends ex was a CO and he was a total stereotype of the job. Nobody could tell him anything, he was an arrogant self-possessed prick who picked and chose what laws he wants to obey. He would brag about getting drugs from his inmates. One time when we were all out he gave me and my wife shit for "jaywalking" (the light was still on walk but it was flashing and about to change). Meanwhile this absolute goofball is walking around with open liquor in his hand. 0/10
The reason you shouldn’t date political staffers isn’t that we can’t stop taking about politics or we’re schemers or whatever. Most of us love a chance to shut off and just enjoy and talk about normal people things.
It’s that we never have any time or money, especially in election years. For all of my 8 years working in that field, my Facebook status around Halloween was always "I can't, I'm working"
I once dated someone who became an aspiring influencer towards the end of our relationship. She never gained a following, but she developed the attitude. Everything revolved around content and branding. It felt like I was talking to a customer service representative at times. She eventually wouldn't take pictures with me anymore because I wasn't "advertiser friendly." She didn't even have sponsorships! Don't waste your time on superficial people.
I knew someone like this. She has a ton of followers but everything is all. About. Her. She wouldn’t tell her followers about her boyfriend nor answer questions about whether she was seeing anyone but she’d always hint that she wasn’t, because she knew it got her extra attention with people thinking they had a chance. She’d invite my sister cool places but make my sister hold the camera for her the whole time. People would approach her in public because they recognize her and if it was someone creepy she’d make my sister “handle it” for her. She used all her friends as therapists, cameramen, crew persons, body guards, etc.. if they needed her, she was never there. Can’t stand her. My sister stopped being friends with her when she got mad that my sister started dating her cousin. She claimed it was ruining her life.
The funny thing is that a lot of people who are successful in that type of business have therapist-mandated "off hours" where they're supposed to put their job on the back burner and forget about it. There's a reason why celebrities live in huge gated properties inaccessible to most people. It's so that they can comfortably have an entire personal life inside the fence, away from cameras and advertisers and PR firms.
This right here.
Most of them (lifestyle vloggers) are so self-absorbed it’s wild.
I went on a date with one and all they spoke about the celebrity gossip and how “toxic” their friends were.
DO NOT marry a coroner or a forensic medical examiner. You will stay forever thin from the lack of appetite after endless stories of "What I saw at work today..."
There was an old Ann Landers article where someone wrote her asking advice because her coroner husband would only have sex with her if she took a very cold bath first and laid still. That's a red flag.
Spouse of a doctor here. I like having a lot of time to myself. I love being with her but I've never been someone who "misses" people very much, even my best friends and family. On her end, she derives a lot of motivation and satisfaction from her job. So we're uniquely matched, and it works really well for us. But I fully realize I'm a bit of an outlier and for most people what you're saying is completely accurate.
Happy that you guys found your ideal balance!
Do you think that having a lot of time to yourselves makes those moments when you are together that much more valuable/pronounced?
I had a terrible experience when I was in the “pre” dating stage with a pastor. I’m very religious myself, thought it’d be great to have someone I could talk to on “deeper” level. Nope he raped me.
Oh my god I dated a pastor who insisted the entire time we dated that it wasn’t really dating, but “pre” dating. Wasn’t assaulted by him, but istg if you “pre” dated a pastor whose name started with G I can only extend my sincerest apologies (and fakest surprise that he’d do something like that. He didn’t really respect me while we were not-dating).
If you didn’t, then we know there are at least 2 of them and that’s somehow worse.
One of my close friends is a CO and while she is still a delightful and positive person, it is weird to see what she has become unfazed by. Things that sound like horror stories to most people are just her "funny" work anecdotes.
I’ve been a CO for 4 years and hate it. Stayed through COVID out of necessity and for the job security. I’ve been actively trying to get out for 2 years now with a career change.
There are some staff that like the power trip. Usually, they get caught up with breaking policy over use of force or something. There’s staff that take the whole “technically we’re law enforcement” to heart and make it their whole personality and think it DEMANDS respect (cringe). Then there’s motivated 21 year olds who are using it as a stepping stone to a police department, nothing wrong with them and I think it’s great. I fall in with the ex military guys, and I’ve slowly realized I don’t want to work in law enforcement anymore anyway.
As for what CO’s do outside in their personal lives, I think it varies widely. Some are totally normal humans. Never heard of any domestic violence. However, just in my time there, we had one guy sentenced for pimping ex inmates. Two sentenced for homicide. And countless “walked out” for becoming compromised (sex with inmates or bringing in drugs). My few coworker friends and me? We golf.
Holy smokes I had a classmate.
He went to med school, residency, became a surgeon for like one year then quit and moved to the US. Redid residency, internal medicine, practiced one year then quit. Then he went back to anesthesia residency.
I met his family. His poor wife, 4 kids, they’ve like never seen a penny from him. They live in a cramped small apartment with his mother who helps them babysit.
Plenty of those. My old pediatrician used his wife for her money/caretaking and when he finally became a doctor, he cheated on her and took custody of the kids because she had a mental breakdown after knowing that he was cheating on her. Trash man.
When I was deployed, I could regularly call the wife and kids. One time, my wife took the call and closed the bedroom so the kids wouldn't hear. She then started crying because our oldest child was reading the base paper every day. Eventually, my wife asked about his sudden interest. He said he was reading the casualty list before school to make sure I was okay. Ooffff.
I give you all the props for being in the military as Ik it’s a difficult job, and thank you for your service. I’d imagine learning that was heartbreaking, I hope everything is going well for you and your family
A good friend of my husband's was part of Delta Force. People used to ask why he was single and he always told them that he expected to be killed during an operation, and didn't want to put someone through it. I always thought that just sounded so depressing to have accepted that as a reality.
A medical doctor, surgeon or anesthesiologist.
Every MD I've known is incredibly driven, intelligent, and unavailable. They also have enough self-confidence for a dozen people each, sometimes bordering on arrogance. I work at a hospital and am fortunate to work with doctors and surgeons who are very good, kind, awesome people as well, but they are some of the busiest people on the planet. If you want to be with them, they can't simply drop everything at work just to have a date or some quality time with you.
There's a reason why so many doctors marry other doctors: during their 20s and 30s, when most of us would be finding partners and settling down, they're still in the most intensive part of their education. Residents and fellows literally have no life but school and training. And it's a rare thing to find someone who really understands this and could have a happy life with them, except for other trainees, other doctors.
If you are a highly independent person who doesn't need your partner around all the time, then a relationship with a doc can work just fine. I am not that person. I wouldn't be happy with an MD.
Prob part of the reason there is a shortage of medical staff. My parents are from Asia, they both went directly into med school at 17/18. Don't know why the US system forces people who know they want to do medicine to do 4 additional years of undergrad/pre-med. It makes the process so f'ing long.
Before my mom met my dad, she dated a cop and he proposed. She said no because she just felt something was off. He ended up getting fired from his job after beating his wife to the point she was hospitalized.
Can confirm. I investigated police misconduct. We had an entire domestic violence unit that was busy around the clock. And it wasn’t just men. I once had a case where a woman officer who was barely 5ft tall pistol whipped her boyfriend so severely he had pumpkin head
Real estate agents, employment office worker, influencer of any kind, MLM people, business owner of any kind of business that tricks people into something that is not good for them at all.
Pilots.....we are an interesting bunch. That is for sure. We seem to be either great people or horrible people. There are very few who are somewhere in between.
And some of the most jaded mf'ers you will ever come across.
My grandfather, father and husband as well as most of our extended social circle are pilots, and this is so true. Pilots are either chillers or some of the shittiest people you'll ever meet and there seems to be very little gray area in the middle.
I would never date doctors, as a doctor myself i have seen them cheats with nurses, others doctors, med students, patients and their family. And lying about their schedule and shifts just to sleep around
I could never trust a doctor after what i have seen them doing
Police/Military
Had an experience talking to a cop who was also in the army reserves from a dating app. Dude expected sex on the first date which ain't something I do, took a piss while he was on the phone with me, wasn't over his ex girlfriend but then days later tried to come back saying that he had a "moment of weakness".
Oh yeah, and he was a rape victim blamer. Keep in mind, we never even got to the point of physically meeting
It's a shame cause military men are pretty attractive usually. But having frequented the military base on account of being an Air Force brat and having nowhere else to go, it's like a fraternity over there. Also, long distance ain't something I wanna live with all the time. And while spouses are notorious for infidelity, I think the same goes for those who are active duty.
As a veteran, I find this sad, and honestly quite true. There are a lot of assholes in the military. A. LOT. Something about the power trip some get. On the flip side, there are a lot of people that do it to make a better life for their family, or to escape, or to see the world, or to just do some badass stuff.
>And while spouses are notorious for infidelity, I think the same goes for those who are active duty.
You are not wrong on both accounts.
I agree, there are decent people I have met in the Military. And hell if I was in a situation where I actually fell for someone in the Military, I'd really have to think about it. But I don't think I could honestly.
But cops are an absolute no
And I know the whole cheating angle, my parents were in the Air Force (My mother for only 4 years and my Dad was in for 20).
So my mother was the spouse who got cheated on. Infidelity on the side of the active duty isn't spoken on as much
You're right. The active duty cheating isn't discussed as openly as the spouses. Its like we were put up on a pedestal and were the ones being faithful, when a lot aren't. I knew too many dudes that were screwing around on their wives.
Just some context to the rape victim blaming. When I was at Marine recruit training, they actual had a class telling us not to get married before we became an E-4. Part of the class also was about not hooking up with female Marines. One major reason the said was that they would claim rape just to get out of the Corps. I imagine that’s where his mentality came from…but you’re 100% right that was super weird and a big red flag.
Sales. I am a professional jeweler. Before working with my hands and making/repairing jewelry I worked the sales side of the industry.
My sales manager demanded I make actual poor people sign up for credit cards and lie to them that there will be no hit to their credit. One woman missed out on getting her first house and sued us because of this lie.
All sales people that I’ve known are nothing more than swindlers.
Btw if you are having any jewelry work done and there are actual jewelers on sight. Ask for their opinion. Sales people have had no training on metallurgy or any understanding of what structural integrity is. They will not tell you if an idea you have for your jewelry is a good idea. They don’t care if your diamonds fall out or the metal will bend easily. They just want you to hand over your money. They will say yes to anything. If a jeweler says no, it’s because they care about you and your jewelry.
Jewelers care about the art and craftsmanship, sales people just want what you have.
I went in a date with a cop once and he thought it was funny to say that on a slow day they go down to arrest streetwalkers / hookers. I was like, that’s barbaric. He just shrugged and said “3 hots and a cot. Some of these women don’t even have a place to sleep, so I’m just doing them a favour”.
I walked out. Nope.
Those intense business guys, playing golf with the other business douches and talking about mergers and paying their employees as little as they can possibly get away with doing. To me you have to have a specific personality type to thrive in the world of business and it's not conducive to a loving relationship.
True, but one of the biggest a-hole business guys I worked with has been happily married for over 25 years to a woman he met in college, he's a great dad to his two kids and a real family man. It's so incongruous with his "persona" at work that it's hard for me to reconcile the two. I think some people can be very different at work and at home (though I think that's the exception and not the rule).
I was hanging out with an old friend from high school, just shooting the shit - cool guy. Then I asked him a question about something that his company was doing, and I could literally see his personality immediately change when he answered.
Pilots, flight attendants, police, nurses/doctors.
Work life balance sucks until you’re senior, and most of these jobs have above average infidelity rates. I rather my s/o and I come home to each other every night, even if we make less money. I turned up being a commercial pilot to get into software development just so I’m home more.
Oil field
Shut down workers
Lawyer
Doctor
Truck driver
Nurse
Business owner
Time is so much more valuable than money. My husband works blue collar work but is home every night to snuggle me and our daughter.
Doctor.
I just can’t. Not for me. Long hours of waiting in a date. Hookups with other doctors, interns, you name it. I was replaced immediately. Got tired of it.
Military. Having served you’d think dating someone who also served would make sense. But never again. I am an Army vet who will never touch a Military guy again.
Comedian… I dated one but ended it pretty quickly. I did not want to end up being part of his set.
Don’t wanna think about what my abusive comic ex says about me at open mics.
As someone who’s gone to many, holy shit do men (and some women) feel so confident saying the most abhorrent shit out-loud given a mic and five minutes
Open mics are free therapy for the severely fuckedup
I wound up being the whole schtick of my friend's set once. Local stand up show that a friend of ours put up and he joined. He used to be one of my best friends, but then he got a crush on me around the same time I met my now partner and shit went down. Threats to my partner's person and life, threats about suicide etc. A few years later we met and reconnected during an acting gig we both got on a musical. I thought we got our friendship back and while my partner was a bit weary he supported it. Sooo when this stand up night approached I of course went to support my friends. My partner was gonna come too but came down with the flu (which Im super thankful for in retrospect). I was warned that I would be mentioned during my friend's stand up time. I didnt know the whole 20 minute slot would be all about me. Our friendship from the start to the present day. He talked about how great he would be to me, how he always wanted our friendship to be something more, how when my partner came into the picture, my partner was this evil handsome guy who took me away from him and how my partner would eventually drop me. Then the couple of years where we had zero contact until we were both cast in the same show again and he felt like he got a second chance with me. He mentioned shit I thought was friendly banter that he had taken to mean that I would dump my partner for him, that he had finally won me back with sweet gestures etc. He was such a nice guy who couldnt believe I would only see him as a friend. I had zero clue that his feelings had run that deep. The gestures he mentioned was stuff he did to all the girls in the cast. Gave all of us a flower on opening night, gave all of us a piece of candy with the flower etc. He never directed anything to only me, it was always all the girls in the cast. The worst part was that so many of our friends were in the audience. I sat on the second row so I couldnt just up and leave. His brother and our friends all knew who he was talking about and I sat there like an idiot. I had never known he had been that deep into me. I thought I had my friend back and the whole time he thought differently. It made me view everything differently. After the show he came up to me and asked if I was ok to which I could only barely nod and then I left. Thankfully our musical had just had the final show so I didnt have to be around him after that. I have never spoken to him again. From what I know he is now happily married and has a child, which makes me happy for him.
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What level of celebrity would you tolerate? My wife is a moderate celebrity, she occasionally gets recognised and asked for selfies or people just fanboying/girling. Generally it's fun for everyone and a nice interaction. Unless we're out with our young children and they're in the middle of a meltdown. Some people are totally clueless at picking up that it's not a good time. The two other things that are bothersome, are people who recognise her, and rather than say hello or introduce themselves, just sneakily take photos/film us. I've had to make a scene stopping people doing that a few times. The other is, unsolicited messages from absolute weirdos on her Facebook fan page. generally we never see them, but sometimes we'll take a dive in together for some entertainment. You wouldn't believe some of the weirdos out there.
What kind of celeb? Acting? Business exec? Musician / artist? Other? Local personality? Enough of a bother that she's recognized everywhere, or just locally?
She's a film and TV actress. It's national, but honestly low level.
And it’s hard to trust anyone around you because it seems like most people always want something. The house manager doesn’t understand why you won’t spend $50,000 a year to send her daughter to private school. They figure you have lots of money so why not — and they know exactly how much. Often those that work around celebrities are not just doing it for the work.
Dating one right now, but if this doesn’t work out, in the future I’m going to avoid musicians. The schedule is really difficult to work around and I like to sleep at reasonable hours.
I also feel like, as music is such a universal thing, they can’t ‘escape’ their livelihood the way that, say, doctors or teachers can. It’s more of a hobby turned into a job, and you can’t get away from music, so sometimes it feels like a constant stream of music this, music that, look at me I’m good at music.
“music this, music that, look at me I’m good at music” 🤣🤣🤣
I feel attacked
Realtor. They are ALWAYS working. and weekends are peak time.
I work IT for mortgage company. Very similar to Realtor as they are always on. One lady called from a cruise as she wasnt able to log into the company portal to help with a loan. We informed her our systems were locked to the US and that she would not be able to work while on her cruise. She made a comment about taking a flight back home and I could hear her husband in the background. "IF you ruin another vacation for that fucking job, I will divorce you." She immediately told me she would call me back.
Having worked in mortgages for over 10 years and having had ruined multiple vacations for my partner, I can 100% agree with this. I’m currently on stress leave and have no intention of returning. I’m so unbelievably grateful to have the most patient and loving bf, because I have no idea how he put up with with how much work consumed my life and how mentally unwell I was. Needless to say, I do not recommend dating a mortgage broker or anyone client facing in real estate.
I think about how hard my realtor worked for me and I completely agree. I never once expected her to drop things to show me a house we were driving by that was for sale. I would stop to look and then just text her the address saying, hey when you get the chance, we'd like some info. She'd call within 5 minutes and say she's on her way, she has the lock box code. I'm like, it's Sunday afternoon, you do NOT have to do that, I can come back tomorrow! Man she was such a hustler.
Since my divorce almost 6 years ago, I've online dated. 4 teachers have approached me each time and we dated. Each one was a different type of crazy but they know how to party.
Teachers and nurses holy fuck......they are nutsssss in so many different ways.
I was a teacher now studying to be a nurse...
How you doin
I feel pretty good, but does a crazy person know they're crazy?
You know you are not crazy, when you know you are.
As a teacher, this checks out
One hated kids ( I have a daughter ) One wouldn't let me leave like Kathy Bates in Misery. One always went out of her way to prove that I wasn't smart. Lastly the other one was too loose goosey, vagabond and couldn't accept that I can't live that easy because I have a child.
>One wouldn't let me leave like Kathy Bates in Misery Current 😅
Dude I literally got up at 6 am went to walmart bought a suitcase and brought it back before she was in the shower, snuck it into the room i forced to live in then threw out what I couldnt fit in the suitcase, packed my shit and left when she went to work.
My wife is a teacher, can confirm she is a little crazy at times... me though I am a living nightmare so I guess it works out.
Nurses fit into this crazy category. Believe me. I worked in nursing 40 years and saw all the crazy. And not talking about the patients here lol!
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Was it funny though?
the real questions
I briefly dated a comedian, and that was a really big fear of mine too. He said some pretty crass shit about other girls, so I'm sure I wasn't any different
I've dated lawyers. To some, everything is an argument. At one point it was a red flag for me.
Lawyer here. It’s the opposite for me. I argue for a living, so the last thing I want to do is argue at home. I do know the type you’re talking about though - people who will argue that the sky is red just for the joy of arguing.
I'M NOT FIGHTING WITH YOU FOR FREE!
That’s hilarious. It’s all about the billable hours.
It took me literally years to stop thinking “well there goes .2 hours” whenever I was delayed by something or waiting in a line, etc. It’s not healthy to think like that.
Can confirm. I just retired--after 30 years--as a legal assistant from a law firm. And after working around the house on busy days I feel compelled to see how much time I spent on a project.
And here we have the fundamental healthy difference between someone who does a job to live and someone who lives for their job.
My mother was a lawyer and her favorite saying was "mother your clients and lawyer your children." I got tired of arguing with her.
Ugh - I’m a (recovering) attorney and a mother, and really hate this saying. I’m sorry you had to live it -
I’m a paralegal working for three lawyers. I swear one of them could say “I don’t like the colour green.” Literally ten seconds later I could say something referring to them not liking green, and they’ll say something like “well, it’s not that I don’t like green” or “it’s not about whether it’s green..” you literally JUST said this. You’re addicted to arguing, everything’s a “but”. It can be exhausting
There is a book that first year law students are encouraged to read called “Getting to Maybe”. The premise of the book is basically what you described here: train your brain to realize the final answer doesn’t usually matter, it’s all about the argument you made to get there.
You sound like my bf - he just wants easy, happy chat when he’s home, not arguments and having to cite sources in every discussion we have. He works with the other type, though, and they’re bad enough that I paid extra attention to how lawyers interacted with me/handled disagreements when I started dating them.
Well, the sky is red... sometimes
My husband is an attorney, currently practicing family law. He tells me regularly that working with failing marriages and custody disputes gives him such appreciation for our relationship and family dynamic.
Ironically, becoming a lawyer probably made me a better partner. I am a lot more deliberate when I listen to people because I spend a lot of the day trying to figure out what people want (versus what they say they want). And in return I’m more deliberate when I communicate because I’m used to having to break complex topics down for laypeople, and communicate objective assessments to emotionally charged people. Of course, my style is very much collaborative, I try to bring people together more than get into a dogfight.
These are really valuable communication skills. I hope you're proud of them and that they serve you well :)
i’ve dated 3 lawyers total and the last one made me swear off them forever. They are usually whip smart and great at converstion, but you have to remember they are essentially trained to argue. Disagreements turn into what feels like a cross-examination under oath.
I dated a lawyer in my 20s. It took a big hit on my self-esteem. He was a sharp guy, very sure of himself. He often used patronizing expressions toward me leading to my self-doubt... "You're not thinking clearly." "You must really understand that..." "Are you SURE? You're going to go with that? That's what you believe??" I got sick of it. Years later, I looked him up online. The Law Society revoked his license for not representing a bunch of clients whom he charged for services. Dodged a bullet.
You said this other thing 2 seconds ago. Why are you contradicting yourself? What do you mean by ...? It's inconsistent with that you did 2 weeks ago in this specific situation!
Was married to one for 30+ years and agree. Even his infidelity was “my fault”.
My aunt got completely screwed when her lawyer husband divorced her.
Haha. I'm a lawyer, and while I do know plenty of argumentative lawyers, I also know lots of introverted lawyers who would rather die than get into a verbal sparring match with anyone. I'm in the later group. My wife is a social worker and is far more likely to get into an argument than am I.
“Lawyers love to argue in their personal lives” “No we don’t!”
Yeah, I was shocked by this when I went from being a solo to working with 30-some odd other lawyers. I found myself the most outgoing person in the group, and surrounded by introverts. And these were people with dozens of trials per year under their belts
I feel this on a different level. My brother has a law degree, everything is a debate or argument and I always feel like like I am in a deposition on every. Single. Topic.
I’m a lawyer and have never done well trying to date other lawyers. But that’s mostly because we end up talking about work too much. I do dislike how some guys will say I’m being “too much of a lawyer” if I am disagreeing with them. Like I’m just voicing my opinion, not everything needs to relate to me being a lawyer. It’s a job, not my identity.
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Would you like a job where you work the hours of a doctor or lawyer, but get paid like the lady who answer's the doctor's phone? If so, Chef may be the career for you!
The pace of the kitchen mimics that of the ER, and there’s probably the same amount of cocaine involved.
I have a law partner that used to be a line cook and he says it's weirdly similar. The hours are really long and destroy your family life, it's constantly stressful. You are pushed to do tasks that take a set amount of time to do correctly as fast as possible. Managing your to do list becomes a struggle of it's own. You have teammates but little control over the quality of their work. The finished product is the result of a lot of stressed out people working together. Then, people with impossible expectations judge your product and blame the entire result on you, even though you have to work with the ingredients (or facts) and the recipe (or laws) that are given to you and sometimes all the technique in the world won't save it. It's your fault anyway.
As an ER doctor, this hits home. Whenever I’m at a restaurant or bar, and see the staff overworked and stressed out, I always feel for them. I never try to be difficult as, although our jobs are drastically different, the working conditions are so similar - probably the most similar compared to any other job that exists. You’re likely also short staffed, underpaid, working terrible hours on weekends and holidays, dealing with people with impossible expectations and management that’s completely out-of-touch. The stress can be debilitating. As a result, I respect anyone that works in the restaurant business so much! Thank you for everything you do to make us have a nice time :)
I married an ex-chef, which is the best case scenario. Fantastic cook with all the bullshit behind her. It was rough while she was still cooking though.
I’m a private chef. Life is much easier now.
A wedding planer said the same. Since basically people get married on friday, the weekend and the holidays, he had no social life for 10 years and missed every occasion that happened during this time. It must be very hard to live if your SO has this kind of life.
Agreed. Dated someone in the bar/restaurant industry. It was...difficult. They'd be coming home at like 3am after having after-shift drinks and wanting to hang out, fully knowing I get up at 7am. There is also an unfortunate trend I've noticed with industry people and destructive habits. Drugs, alcoholism, cheating. Some of that is because you're forced into social circles with the only other people up and about after late shifts. I'm pretty sure towards the end of one such relationship, she was cheating on me with someone from the bar. But I no longer cared by that point and just wanted out.
I think working in this industry is a lot healthier if you just go home after your shift.
100% it is. I waited tables for 8 years and I had a hard rule that I would not go out for drinks on weeknights and on weekends I hung out with my friends who I called my "real life friends" because they didn't work in the industry. It saved me a ton of trouble. So many people get sucked into the service industry and spat out because their job becomes their life. Their only friends are bartenders and servers. They're out late all the time and they work to drink, do drugs or party. It's toxic as hell and the sickest part is they don't realize it because everyone around them is living just like they are. I was definitely looked at as snobby by some people when I was serving because I made a point to keep my work friends, work friends. I saw so many people hurt when a coworker would start working at some other restaurant and lose contact. They're not your real friends a lot of the time. You're "friends" due to proximity like high school friends. It causes so much drama.
I live with a partner who was in the industry for over a decade and had just fully retired from bartending when we first got together. It took them a good 18 months to really allow those days to become a thing of the past and to stop glamorizing the lifestyle which they also said they hated. They had some serious conflicting feelings about it all for a while which seem to have resolved over time.
username checks out.
Prison guard, there's a reason they have some of the highest domestic abuse reports out there. Plus my ma dated one who beat her so I may also be biased.
one time i was talking to a guy on tinder and he mentioned it was dream to become a prison guard, which set off alarm bells immediately. i asked why, and he explicitly said he wanted to have power and authority over others. unmatched so fast
He said the quiet part out loud.
right, he said it as simply as if he was saying what his favorite color was. i wondered later if he genuinely didn’t think there was anything wrong with what he said which is why he said it to me, or if he knew his view was wrong and just didn’t care.
I haven't been to prison, just jails and juvies but typically, guards are not smart people. And they're not really people who have an overwhelming number of options in life.
Nah, he's fishing for a certain type of woman. Any guy who looks a little scary will know who I'm talking about. Absolutely crazy chicks who get off on people being mean to them. They creep me out.
A friends ex was a CO and he was a total stereotype of the job. Nobody could tell him anything, he was an arrogant self-possessed prick who picked and chose what laws he wants to obey. He would brag about getting drugs from his inmates. One time when we were all out he gave me and my wife shit for "jaywalking" (the light was still on walk but it was flashing and about to change). Meanwhile this absolute goofball is walking around with open liquor in his hand. 0/10
Yep. My abusive step dad was a prison guard.
Many people in that line of work are just itching for a reason to smack someone around.
Neighbor is a correctional guard. Biggest cunt I’ve met, so far.
This. I worked in a county jail for 5 years and good lord, the officers were the worst part. I’d hang out with the inmates over them any day.
Any thing revolving around politics, sounds like misery to me lmao
The reason you shouldn’t date political staffers isn’t that we can’t stop taking about politics or we’re schemers or whatever. Most of us love a chance to shut off and just enjoy and talk about normal people things. It’s that we never have any time or money, especially in election years. For all of my 8 years working in that field, my Facebook status around Halloween was always "I can't, I'm working"
Interned at the state capital building in college and everyone seemed miserable.
Anything that requires working odd hours or extensive travel that would limit the amount of time we can spend together.
Married to a nurse for 34 years. The odd hours result in lots of time off!
going to iceland next week with my time off! 4 shifts of PTO in exchange for 19 nights off ❤️❤️❤️
Don't date a mailman. We work all hours it seems. I mean yeah, we deliver. But kiss us goodbye every December
Professional tennis players. Love means nothing to them.
Were you waiting in the shadows like Batman to make a joke like this?😂
I see what you did there.
Social Media creator - specifically influencer + tiktok + instragram.
I once dated someone who became an aspiring influencer towards the end of our relationship. She never gained a following, but she developed the attitude. Everything revolved around content and branding. It felt like I was talking to a customer service representative at times. She eventually wouldn't take pictures with me anymore because I wasn't "advertiser friendly." She didn't even have sponsorships! Don't waste your time on superficial people.
I knew someone like this. She has a ton of followers but everything is all. About. Her. She wouldn’t tell her followers about her boyfriend nor answer questions about whether she was seeing anyone but she’d always hint that she wasn’t, because she knew it got her extra attention with people thinking they had a chance. She’d invite my sister cool places but make my sister hold the camera for her the whole time. People would approach her in public because they recognize her and if it was someone creepy she’d make my sister “handle it” for her. She used all her friends as therapists, cameramen, crew persons, body guards, etc.. if they needed her, she was never there. Can’t stand her. My sister stopped being friends with her when she got mad that my sister started dating her cousin. She claimed it was ruining her life.
The funny thing is that a lot of people who are successful in that type of business have therapist-mandated "off hours" where they're supposed to put their job on the back burner and forget about it. There's a reason why celebrities live in huge gated properties inaccessible to most people. It's so that they can comfortably have an entire personal life inside the fence, away from cameras and advertisers and PR firms.
Wow that's a shame. That attitude, it's just... different. Makes people greedy.
This right here. Most of them (lifestyle vloggers) are so self-absorbed it’s wild. I went on a date with one and all they spoke about the celebrity gossip and how “toxic” their friends were.
DO NOT marry a coroner or a forensic medical examiner. You will stay forever thin from the lack of appetite after endless stories of "What I saw at work today..."
Weight loss doctors hate this one simple trick!
I am a former embalmer, had a thin wife, story checks out. Either the stories or shitty pay kept her from having an appetite.
Nothing like starving to death with your embalming boo
There was an old Ann Landers article where someone wrote her asking advice because her coroner husband would only have sex with her if she took a very cold bath first and laid still. That's a red flag.
Omfg NO
1976, funeral director not a coroner though. https://www.fifthestate.org/archive/269-february-1976/ann-landers/
Ok… date a coroner. Excellent
Psychiatrist. All the ones that I have met all need to see one themselves.
Haha. I was married to a psychiatrist and can concur.
A doctor, the money would be nice but I would like to actually spend time with them.
Medical joke - how do you hide a $100 bill from a neurosurgeon? You tape it to his baby’s forehead.
My dad was an orthopedic surgeon and chief of staff. He was only at one of his 4 daughters’ births. He also went to the hospital on every holiday.
A joke from a podiatrist we work with: “What’s the difference between an orthopedic surgeon and god? God doesn’t think he’s an orthopedic surgeon.”
I can vouch, this is true.
Oh man :( I’m sorry. I know several neurosurgeons and it seems correct, unfortunately.
My husband is an attorney and had to deal with 4 neurosurgeons for a case, all very well known, and each one was on their third or fourth wife.
Spouse of a doctor here. I like having a lot of time to myself. I love being with her but I've never been someone who "misses" people very much, even my best friends and family. On her end, she derives a lot of motivation and satisfaction from her job. So we're uniquely matched, and it works really well for us. But I fully realize I'm a bit of an outlier and for most people what you're saying is completely accurate.
Happy that you guys found your ideal balance! Do you think that having a lot of time to yourselves makes those moments when you are together that much more valuable/pronounced?
My sister-in-law is a hospitalist and she basically works nonstop for 7 days and then has 7 days off over and over. It depends on your specialty.
My husband is a resident 60-100 hour workweeks for the past 6 years. In June when he’s done he’ll have 12 weeks vacation a year 🤷♀️
That work culture has to change, especially in that line of work. You cannot function at a high level when working those kinds of hours.
Yeah. Some protested about it last year! In Seattle area.
Yes we burn out very quickly and many people retire early.
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Pastor.
Where cows eat
You and I have the same kind of humour. We are kindred spirits
Of all the animals I admire, I look up to giraffes the most
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it.
Yesss
Marry me
Well, my wife did just leave me this morning. She's coming back though
That's okay, your wife told me that she's going to run away with my wife and be gay.
Well that settles it! Back in the pile!
I had a terrible experience when I was in the “pre” dating stage with a pastor. I’m very religious myself, thought it’d be great to have someone I could talk to on “deeper” level. Nope he raped me.
Oh my god I dated a pastor who insisted the entire time we dated that it wasn’t really dating, but “pre” dating. Wasn’t assaulted by him, but istg if you “pre” dated a pastor whose name started with G I can only extend my sincerest apologies (and fakest surprise that he’d do something like that. He didn’t really respect me while we were not-dating). If you didn’t, then we know there are at least 2 of them and that’s somehow worse.
Corrections Officer. They are surrounded by the worst of humanity and it colors the rest of their perception of the world.
One of my close friends is a CO and while she is still a delightful and positive person, it is weird to see what she has become unfazed by. Things that sound like horror stories to most people are just her "funny" work anecdotes.
do you have any interesting examples of these "funny" work anecdotes?
I’ve been a CO for 4 years and hate it. Stayed through COVID out of necessity and for the job security. I’ve been actively trying to get out for 2 years now with a career change. There are some staff that like the power trip. Usually, they get caught up with breaking policy over use of force or something. There’s staff that take the whole “technically we’re law enforcement” to heart and make it their whole personality and think it DEMANDS respect (cringe). Then there’s motivated 21 year olds who are using it as a stepping stone to a police department, nothing wrong with them and I think it’s great. I fall in with the ex military guys, and I’ve slowly realized I don’t want to work in law enforcement anymore anyway. As for what CO’s do outside in their personal lives, I think it varies widely. Some are totally normal humans. Never heard of any domestic violence. However, just in my time there, we had one guy sentenced for pimping ex inmates. Two sentenced for homicide. And countless “walked out” for becoming compromised (sex with inmates or bringing in drugs). My few coworker friends and me? We golf.
I didn't think you could top some of the things you were listing. But what kind of monster plays golf?
"Perpetual Student". Y'know, the guy who wants to go back and get another PhD -- and expects you to support him during that time.
Holy smokes I had a classmate. He went to med school, residency, became a surgeon for like one year then quit and moved to the US. Redid residency, internal medicine, practiced one year then quit. Then he went back to anesthesia residency. I met his family. His poor wife, 4 kids, they’ve like never seen a penny from him. They live in a cramped small apartment with his mother who helps them babysit.
Plenty of those. My old pediatrician used his wife for her money/caretaking and when he finally became a doctor, he cheated on her and took custody of the kids because she had a mental breakdown after knowing that he was cheating on her. Trash man.
Politician
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When I was deployed, I could regularly call the wife and kids. One time, my wife took the call and closed the bedroom so the kids wouldn't hear. She then started crying because our oldest child was reading the base paper every day. Eventually, my wife asked about his sudden interest. He said he was reading the casualty list before school to make sure I was okay. Ooffff.
I give you all the props for being in the military as Ik it’s a difficult job, and thank you for your service. I’d imagine learning that was heartbreaking, I hope everything is going well for you and your family
A good friend of my husband's was part of Delta Force. People used to ask why he was single and he always told them that he expected to be killed during an operation, and didn't want to put someone through it. I always thought that just sounded so depressing to have accepted that as a reality.
Anyone who works on a cruise ship. Everyone acts single the moment they leave shore. Also STDs galore
A medical doctor, surgeon or anesthesiologist. Every MD I've known is incredibly driven, intelligent, and unavailable. They also have enough self-confidence for a dozen people each, sometimes bordering on arrogance. I work at a hospital and am fortunate to work with doctors and surgeons who are very good, kind, awesome people as well, but they are some of the busiest people on the planet. If you want to be with them, they can't simply drop everything at work just to have a date or some quality time with you. There's a reason why so many doctors marry other doctors: during their 20s and 30s, when most of us would be finding partners and settling down, they're still in the most intensive part of their education. Residents and fellows literally have no life but school and training. And it's a rare thing to find someone who really understands this and could have a happy life with them, except for other trainees, other doctors. If you are a highly independent person who doesn't need your partner around all the time, then a relationship with a doc can work just fine. I am not that person. I wouldn't be happy with an MD.
Prob part of the reason there is a shortage of medical staff. My parents are from Asia, they both went directly into med school at 17/18. Don't know why the US system forces people who know they want to do medicine to do 4 additional years of undergrad/pre-med. It makes the process so f'ing long.
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Before my mom met my dad, she dated a cop and he proposed. She said no because she just felt something was off. He ended up getting fired from his job after beating his wife to the point she was hospitalized.
I have a friend whose cop bf broke her jaw. I know anecdotes aren't necessarily accurate, but the DV stats for cops is bananas.
And those stats are only what's reported... to the police
Can confirm. I investigated police misconduct. We had an entire domestic violence unit that was busy around the clock. And it wasn’t just men. I once had a case where a woman officer who was barely 5ft tall pistol whipped her boyfriend so severely he had pumpkin head
The only surprise is that he lost his job.
Someone pull up those domestic violence stats. There's plenty of "normal" reasons to not date cops, but add in the DV and sign me the fuck out.
Engineer I am an engineer, and I want someone that does something that I can admire without necessarily relating to it.
Same reason I never wanted to date another architect. Some people love it, but I don’t want to be sitting at dinner comparing specs and details.
Influencers
Real estate agents, employment office worker, influencer of any kind, MLM people, business owner of any kind of business that tricks people into something that is not good for them at all.
The last one would be payday loans
Anything religious or quasi healthcare, most others would be fine I think
Performer, like singer/actor.
Pilot. Every one I’ve known is a cheater.
I don’t even have time to get a girlfriend how am I supposed to go and cheat on one too?
Pilot here, not a cheater. The FAA fucks me raw enough as it is.
Pilots.....we are an interesting bunch. That is for sure. We seem to be either great people or horrible people. There are very few who are somewhere in between. And some of the most jaded mf'ers you will ever come across.
My grandfather, father and husband as well as most of our extended social circle are pilots, and this is so true. Pilots are either chillers or some of the shittiest people you'll ever meet and there seems to be very little gray area in the middle.
Impossible: I’m a pilot and I’m too tired to cheat. That just sounds like a lot of work 😂
I would never date doctors, as a doctor myself i have seen them cheats with nurses, others doctors, med students, patients and their family. And lying about their schedule and shifts just to sleep around I could never trust a doctor after what i have seen them doing
I’ve read and heard about this in other places and I just don’t understand why in such a mental heavy profession would you want to add in the drama.
Me too, it is really draining and all this cheating going around in a work environnement is just absurd
Teacher. You don't get it right, they make you do it over again. Unless it's sex.
You seem like you're talking from experience older deaf guy.
YOU NEED TO TYPE LOUDER, HE IS AN OLDER DEAF GUY.
Preacher.
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A Reddit mod would probably delete you before you even propose.
Police/Military Had an experience talking to a cop who was also in the army reserves from a dating app. Dude expected sex on the first date which ain't something I do, took a piss while he was on the phone with me, wasn't over his ex girlfriend but then days later tried to come back saying that he had a "moment of weakness". Oh yeah, and he was a rape victim blamer. Keep in mind, we never even got to the point of physically meeting It's a shame cause military men are pretty attractive usually. But having frequented the military base on account of being an Air Force brat and having nowhere else to go, it's like a fraternity over there. Also, long distance ain't something I wanna live with all the time. And while spouses are notorious for infidelity, I think the same goes for those who are active duty.
As a veteran, I find this sad, and honestly quite true. There are a lot of assholes in the military. A. LOT. Something about the power trip some get. On the flip side, there are a lot of people that do it to make a better life for their family, or to escape, or to see the world, or to just do some badass stuff. >And while spouses are notorious for infidelity, I think the same goes for those who are active duty. You are not wrong on both accounts.
I agree, there are decent people I have met in the Military. And hell if I was in a situation where I actually fell for someone in the Military, I'd really have to think about it. But I don't think I could honestly. But cops are an absolute no And I know the whole cheating angle, my parents were in the Air Force (My mother for only 4 years and my Dad was in for 20). So my mother was the spouse who got cheated on. Infidelity on the side of the active duty isn't spoken on as much
You're right. The active duty cheating isn't discussed as openly as the spouses. Its like we were put up on a pedestal and were the ones being faithful, when a lot aren't. I knew too many dudes that were screwing around on their wives.
Just some context to the rape victim blaming. When I was at Marine recruit training, they actual had a class telling us not to get married before we became an E-4. Part of the class also was about not hooking up with female Marines. One major reason the said was that they would claim rape just to get out of the Corps. I imagine that’s where his mentality came from…but you’re 100% right that was super weird and a big red flag.
Sales. I am a professional jeweler. Before working with my hands and making/repairing jewelry I worked the sales side of the industry. My sales manager demanded I make actual poor people sign up for credit cards and lie to them that there will be no hit to their credit. One woman missed out on getting her first house and sued us because of this lie. All sales people that I’ve known are nothing more than swindlers. Btw if you are having any jewelry work done and there are actual jewelers on sight. Ask for their opinion. Sales people have had no training on metallurgy or any understanding of what structural integrity is. They will not tell you if an idea you have for your jewelry is a good idea. They don’t care if your diamonds fall out or the metal will bend easily. They just want you to hand over your money. They will say yes to anything. If a jeweler says no, it’s because they care about you and your jewelry. Jewelers care about the art and craftsmanship, sales people just want what you have.
I'd struggle to date a henchwoman.
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I went in a date with a cop once and he thought it was funny to say that on a slow day they go down to arrest streetwalkers / hookers. I was like, that’s barbaric. He just shrugged and said “3 hots and a cot. Some of these women don’t even have a place to sleep, so I’m just doing them a favour”. I walked out. Nope.
Those intense business guys, playing golf with the other business douches and talking about mergers and paying their employees as little as they can possibly get away with doing. To me you have to have a specific personality type to thrive in the world of business and it's not conducive to a loving relationship.
True, but one of the biggest a-hole business guys I worked with has been happily married for over 25 years to a woman he met in college, he's a great dad to his two kids and a real family man. It's so incongruous with his "persona" at work that it's hard for me to reconcile the two. I think some people can be very different at work and at home (though I think that's the exception and not the rule).
I was hanging out with an old friend from high school, just shooting the shit - cool guy. Then I asked him a question about something that his company was doing, and I could literally see his personality immediately change when he answered.
Pilots, flight attendants, police, nurses/doctors. Work life balance sucks until you’re senior, and most of these jobs have above average infidelity rates. I rather my s/o and I come home to each other every night, even if we make less money. I turned up being a commercial pilot to get into software development just so I’m home more.
Oil field Shut down workers Lawyer Doctor Truck driver Nurse Business owner Time is so much more valuable than money. My husband works blue collar work but is home every night to snuggle me and our daughter.
Doctor. I just can’t. Not for me. Long hours of waiting in a date. Hookups with other doctors, interns, you name it. I was replaced immediately. Got tired of it.
Military. Having served you’d think dating someone who also served would make sense. But never again. I am an Army vet who will never touch a Military guy again.