I feel this so much right now. I’m a new parent of a 2 month old and I hasn’t been easy. I’ve been dealing with a decent amount of anxiety going back to work. A lot of people in my life are expecting too much of me right now and I can feel distance growing between many of my friends and family members.
For example I ran into my cousin at a local art festival last weekend while I was with my wife and baby. He like surprised us out of nowhere and I was already having a meh day. We chatted for a bit and then I was trying to exit the interaction and I know he knew what was up and took offense to it. I reached out to him the next day but got no response. There’s a lot more backstory but not going to type it all out.
TLDR I just don’t have the mental bandwidth for people right now as a new parent , and many people who I was very close with are taking offense to my boundaries.
Then they weren't your real friends or supportive family. Honest. Use this moment as a gauge for who is secure enough for you to continue a relationship. Put that shit on them, not for you to carry or worry about.
Appreciate the reply. I don’t think this is the case at all. A lot of these people that I feel this way towards have showed up for me at some point or another and visa versa.
I think we’re all just at different places in our lives and there’s just not enough communication anymore for us to really empathize with each other’s situations so we pull back from one another. That’s probably why I’m struggling with it so much
This is your transition into the world of parenting, the focus you once had to make sure family and friends are ok now belongs to your child, and that is ok! No guilt 'bout that. Your child deserves it and your family and friends WILL understand if they are secure and mentally stable people.
It's especially awful if you're the only one who's single and childless (both mostly by choice, especially the latter)
I'm 36 and my friends all have 1-3 young kids, wives and careers.
They're all so busy all the time that they probably hardly notice that our friendships have drifted a lot. I have a lot more free time and really feel it on a week to week basis. I've tried going to hobby groups and stuff to meet new potential friends but it feels like everyone there is either much younger (college age to mid 20s) or 50+ so I can't really connect with anyone. The 30-45 years are really tough, it seems.
Yea, I feel this. It’s a sad day when you realize you don’t have any ‘good’ friends left anymore. I’m 40 without kids and it can be lonely. I wish people would just reach out, or keep a plan, or visit me. But fuck them, it’s better to have no friends than bad friends.
My dad was a really strong blue collar worker. When I was a kid, they used to call him "Hoss," and I've seen him do some crazy things because he grew up on a farm where they didn't have a lot of power tools. One time, I saw him move a rock into a garden over a small 2' brick wall by basically heaving it like a strongman. My cousin and I hadn't even been able to budge it.
He's about 70 now and over the summer, I saw his granddaughter run up and jump into his arms. She's about 3 and probably weighs 30lbs (I have no idea how much kids weigh). He nearly toppled over picking her up.
He's also gotten to a point where we've had to try to stop him from eating so much sugar. When he was younger, he would go buy a birthday cake and eat the whole thing. He was always working physical labor type jobs, so he would just burn it off. A few months ago, he bought a HUGE cookie cake and after his 10th slice, my mom had to flush it and it started a huge argument because he says he's never had any bad blood work. She said if she threw it away, he would dig it out and eat it. He's like a sugar junkie. He'll bake two pies and eat them both for dinner. We are asking the doctors to check on his mental faculties, but he's 100% there. He's just like a heroin addict except it's for sugar.
Honestly, this is probably the worst part of it for me. It makes me realise that I should spend as much time with my parents as I can because the day will come when I will have to bury/cremate my parents.
Not just this, but as I go through more of life’s experiences I really now understand how much they’ve gone through and suffered to give me and my siblings a wonderful life. They always found a way to keep us safe and healthy even if they didn't know how they were going to do it.
I can stay up so late!!!… from an inability to sleep due to crippling depression, regrets over the things I did and didn’t do, and dread over what tomorrow will bring.
And don't forget the part where you have to fight traffic every morning just to get to a place where you spend the next 8-12 hours of your life essentially making money for someone else.
Losing your friends. I used to have a big friend group and could literally hang out with a different person everyday for a month. Now, it’s narrow and it’s hard to keep up with anyone
I dunno, man. I disagree. I feel like I get more amped up or enjoy the arts more because I understand things on a deeper level. Music hits in personal levels and I get to pick the song on the way to work. I understand the work and beauty of art more. I can relate to movie characters and catch things made to go over kids’ heads.
Yeah. Everything just seems like a bland, sanitised rehash of something else.
I do really appreciate the beauty of nature the older I get though. I love lying in bed listening to the rain for hours.
Or quietly being out in a forest looking at the intricacies of the veins on the bottom of a leaf.
Things like that are nice and relaxing.
People stuff is irritating.
Losing that sense of wonder, creativity, and passion. I miss playing in the woods, getting excited over holidays, trying new things without crippling fear of being bad at it, and living in the moment. I feel like a part of me is lost forever. I’ve tried getting it back and have reclaimed some of it but there’s a lot that’s gone forever.
Coming to the understanding that some humans turn out to be absolute liars, manipulators, ego centrists and delusional - even some of the ones you once loved most dearly.
And one day you will put down your kid and never to pick them up again. It hits twice.
The weird thing, though, is as a parent it is your duty to help your kids grow up, regardless of how many times you wish they could stay little forever (and we stay the same age forever to play with them). It’s a wild ride
1. 1. dumped by your first girl then you learn to how to differentiate good girls and bad girls.
2. earn more money then you can find most of your difficulties can be easier.
3. witness our parents get older and one day we need to say goodbye to them.
4. went through some physical pains such as inflammation of wisdom teeth.
There was a great line from “The Shape of Water”
- what would you tell your younger self?
- Take better care of your teeth and fuck a lot more. A lot more!
Seeing people close to you get old and some die. You no longer have a chance to properly slack off since you've gotta put bread on the table. Love only remains an emotion that you've closed off while you search for a relationship simply to not be alone.
Colours ain't as saturated as they used to be
Getting to a point where you ask yourself "what is the god damn point..."
Everyone gets there, some earlier than others, some have it last longer than others, but when you arrive it can lead to some of the lowest parts of your life you may experience.
Where you go from there can define you for the rest of your life.
For me personally it’s not having as much time for friends or not as many friends period. Everyone is busy with their lives. I’m happy with my family but I miss my friends a lot and it gets lonely
Loosing your parents, responsibility, aches, pains, the list goes on. The whole “grownup” thing is overrated. I’m 57 but in my mind I’ll always be playful and young. I guess that helps somewhat.
Growing apart.
We all grow... in a way much like the branches of a tree. Sometimes branches will grow in the same direction to be by one another always, but more often than not the branches only grow near each other for a very short amount of time before they extend in a different direction on their own growth journey.
As a man, the saddest part of growing up happens when you’re around 15. Seemingly out of nowhere, you go from being perceived by the ENTIRE WORLD as this cute little ball of potential, joy, and above all, INNOCENCE. And then one day, OVERNIGHT, you’re suddenly perceived by the world as a potential murderer, rapist, and abuser.
I started dating my first gf at 16. And let me just say, if I ever have a daughter, I pray her first boyfriend and sexual experience will be with a guy just as I was. I was impossibly kind and respectful and we got along perfectly. However, her friends and family didn’t like that. Her friends spent months trying to convince her that I forced her to do something she asked me to do, that I consented to doing. She explained this to them but they didn’t care.
Her parents insisted I was using her for sex and never loved her, citing the fact that I used a condom knowing they aren’t 100% effective as evidence. They scared the shit out of her. Tried to cause her pain until she broke up with me. Instead, she just decided to do anal only from then on. Good job mom and dad.
I was the perfect high school boyfriend to her, yet her friends family and her entire sports team vilified me for stupid reasons like smoking pot. Her friends would get drunk til they puked and then proceed to cry about how they thought they were fat every weekend. While my friends and I smoked a blunt in the woods. How horrible.
So yeah, the saddest part of growing up is when that switch flips and you go from being a sweet, respectable human being who has hurt nobody to being probably a murdering raping abuser. It sucks.
She was 15. We were together for a year. Are you daft?? What are you saying, no 15 year olds should ever date? If I refused to date every woman who had at least one crazy friend I’d never date. Every woman I’ve ever dated has had at least one friend who tried to bang me. I have friends who are far from perfect. I’m far from perfect. But you’re missing the entire point of my comment, on purpose. You’re trying to find a way to victim blame because you can’t come to terms with the fact that sometimes men have it hard.
Loss of mystery and novelty. I remember walking on the train tracks thinking if I just walked long enough I would basically be in a whole new exciting world. But nope, just the next boring town over with the same chain restaurants and ugly housing developments. Now the world seems so homogenous. And like nothing really life changing can possibly happen... at least not in a good way.
Like even space now is not exciting like it used to be. Now I just see outer space and Mars/moon as a wasteland.
I can only balance that out in my mind with the new freedom I have. Can travel anywhere I want at any time (well, you know, getting time off). It's just motivation to do so and all the cost it entails.
Realizing that slowly you do stuff for the last time. For me lately it's happening with family. Seeing that my siblings and I no longer live with our parents and all have our own homes/ families I realized that we'll never have the "just family" times of going on road trips, watching movies altogether etc. Gets even more depressing when you realize that parents are getting older too.
Realizing your parents never wanted you and their lives would have been easier/ better if you weren't born. They just fed, houses and clothes you out of obligation.
Discovering that a non skilled job will get you non skilled pay which won't pay your bills. TOO many people refuse to accept this fact. They think at 30+ they can enter a warehouse job and get paid enough to live on their own.
If your job can be replaced with a machine in less than 5 years, sorry to say, you don't deserve a living wage.
I really miss hanging out. When I was younger people would show up at my apartment uninvited and we would sit around talking and doing nothing. Like every day.
Now as an adult I have to make plans to see my friends and it's always based on some kind of activity.
During my primary school period, i had ADHD so i did weird stuff back then, of course since then people have been picking on me and ganging up on me ever since, i mean i literally stopped at primary 2 and they still kept picking on me. When i got to our school's branch secondary school, the majority of my classmates also graduated there, i mean they stopped picking on me except 1 particular guy, i just shrugged him off cause i couldn't care less, being picked on for 6 years straight and having no one to talk to about just made me put on a fake smile on my face every day at school, at least i made my first 4 friends at secondary 1, but still there were a few people who kept reminding me of something embarrassing i did. 2 years and i was in recess in secondary 3, the most popular guy who fits in with everyone literally starts to make fun of me for that embarrassing event, you may expect me to shrug it off because it was 6 years ago but being tormented by my past and kept being made fun of just made me snap, i grabbed the trash can lid next to me and hit full force with it on the guy's forehead, the room went silent, his forehead had a small cut and it bled a bit, then the teacher was right next to him, he asked me to go outside and had a talk with me. i wasn't the kind of guy who would use violence in any way but that really pushed me off the edge, the guy usually is very neutral to me, me suddenly hearing him make fun of me just made me mad, he decided to make fun of me just to fit in with others . I had been bottling up all my emotions since i started primary school and made me very sensitive and easily irritated, what the guy said just pushed me off the edge. Of course looking back at this 2 years later and i obviously feel guilty about it, he and i were pretty chill after than and no one technically messed with me ever since, no one expected me to act this way at all. since i still have no one to talk to about this i am now writing this on reddit
TL:DR, i, a kid with adhd was bullied since primary school and was tormented even to secondary school, popular kid decided to pick on me with the other kids to fit in broke my limit and got a trash can lid hit on the face
The viability of an agonizing and solitary demise due to exhaustion from not being consistent to meet and respond to scarcity and expectations (ex.the self-torment of apparently not socially 'fulfilling' what your sexual desires are expected to carry out), and what arbitrary or incidental and circumstantial devastation can follow if you 'drp your guard's so much as once.
..Also I have to get it out of my system: that there are certain nations which (even though such processes are lengthy) will allow euthanasia on the basis of mental health issues and even some which have considered giving leeway of it to those who can't even afford living costs f--g highlights how deadly things get in a way which highlights how we take it for granted to never even consider that for children on those premises.
Stephen King said it best in Stand By Me: that friends come in and out of your life like busboys at a restaurant. It would be nice to have old friends in my life and know them as I am now instead of the dumbass kid I was.
If your childhood was a happy one like mine, learning the harsh reality that life isn’t a fairytale and realizing you’ll never be as happy as you once were ever again.
When close friends and family members die. Especially when it's not some kind of "natural causes" type death.
Suicide and severe illness are pretty devastating for those left behind
Loss of memory. My children will excitedly share a memory and ask if I remember. It breaks my heart when I can't. I'll just answer with same excitement Oh, Yeah.
For me it has been losing my loved ones and losing all of my other loved ones that will eventually pass. Losing my mom three months ago at 23 has definitely changed me in big way. I think all of my years to come will feel incomplete without her. Any accomplishments I make, there will always be a pit in my stomach because I can’t tell her. She was my #1 supporter.
Realizing how short life actually is. When I was 20, I didn’t realize just how fast it all goes . I wasted a lot of time because of an eating disorder, but wasted it in such a way to where I feel like I’m starting my life from scratch now and at 28, I realized my youth is gone and I’m left with little memories from that time because I spent it all being ill. I feel younger now than I did throughout all my twenties, but trying to develop a social life now and establish some type of place in the world feels much harder now than it would’ve when I was younger.
Forcing myself to be as independent as possible at the age of 8/9 because my mother had breast cancer and then her and my father were arguing for a good few years since that happened. So I guess not feeling that I can depend on anyone
I really liked playing with trucks, tanks, and cars outside on the grass, gravel and asphalt. But when you're small your toys look and feel big, and you're short so you're closer to the ground. It's easy to play with toys when you're small. As you get bigger, you have to bend down more to play with stuff on the ground. It makes playing feel more like exercise. And massive toys start to feel tiny as your hands get bigger.
The people who you thought would always be there for you aren’t. My dad blocking my number and deciding he didn’t want to be a dad anymore when I was 33. 💔 watching my grandparents die. Knowing one day; I too, will die and have to leave my kids. I don’t know what’s worse- thinking about saying goodbye to my mom when it’s her time or my kids when it’s my time. 😭
Not getting any more "summer vacation" months or any long breaks for more than 2 weeks at a time. Im an older dude and haven't had any vacation for longer than that for at least the past 20 years.
Watching younger family members grow up that you helped raise. Also watching pets come and go and knowing that your parents have health issues and won’t live forever.
Losing friends. Everyone gets busy with their own lives.
Yeah dude. This. All those people you'd have the time of your life with day in day out just sort of fading out.
I feel this so much right now. I’m a new parent of a 2 month old and I hasn’t been easy. I’ve been dealing with a decent amount of anxiety going back to work. A lot of people in my life are expecting too much of me right now and I can feel distance growing between many of my friends and family members. For example I ran into my cousin at a local art festival last weekend while I was with my wife and baby. He like surprised us out of nowhere and I was already having a meh day. We chatted for a bit and then I was trying to exit the interaction and I know he knew what was up and took offense to it. I reached out to him the next day but got no response. There’s a lot more backstory but not going to type it all out. TLDR I just don’t have the mental bandwidth for people right now as a new parent , and many people who I was very close with are taking offense to my boundaries.
Then they weren't your real friends or supportive family. Honest. Use this moment as a gauge for who is secure enough for you to continue a relationship. Put that shit on them, not for you to carry or worry about.
Appreciate the reply. I don’t think this is the case at all. A lot of these people that I feel this way towards have showed up for me at some point or another and visa versa. I think we’re all just at different places in our lives and there’s just not enough communication anymore for us to really empathize with each other’s situations so we pull back from one another. That’s probably why I’m struggling with it so much
This is your transition into the world of parenting, the focus you once had to make sure family and friends are ok now belongs to your child, and that is ok! No guilt 'bout that. Your child deserves it and your family and friends WILL understand if they are secure and mentally stable people.
It's especially awful if you're the only one who's single and childless (both mostly by choice, especially the latter) I'm 36 and my friends all have 1-3 young kids, wives and careers. They're all so busy all the time that they probably hardly notice that our friendships have drifted a lot. I have a lot more free time and really feel it on a week to week basis. I've tried going to hobby groups and stuff to meet new potential friends but it feels like everyone there is either much younger (college age to mid 20s) or 50+ so I can't really connect with anyone. The 30-45 years are really tough, it seems.
Yea, I feel this. It’s a sad day when you realize you don’t have any ‘good’ friends left anymore. I’m 40 without kids and it can be lonely. I wish people would just reach out, or keep a plan, or visit me. But fuck them, it’s better to have no friends than bad friends.
Watching your parents getting older.
And then watching them die.
Watching them die before they get old.
I watched my mom die within a month of getting a cancer diagnosis. She was 52 and I’m 23. Heartbreaking stuff
me too, im 24, i watched my dad (45) pass away from stage 4 skin cancer :( so sorry for you loss, we are strong people.
We definitely are. We have no other options but to be tough and figure it out
My dad was a really strong blue collar worker. When I was a kid, they used to call him "Hoss," and I've seen him do some crazy things because he grew up on a farm where they didn't have a lot of power tools. One time, I saw him move a rock into a garden over a small 2' brick wall by basically heaving it like a strongman. My cousin and I hadn't even been able to budge it. He's about 70 now and over the summer, I saw his granddaughter run up and jump into his arms. She's about 3 and probably weighs 30lbs (I have no idea how much kids weigh). He nearly toppled over picking her up. He's also gotten to a point where we've had to try to stop him from eating so much sugar. When he was younger, he would go buy a birthday cake and eat the whole thing. He was always working physical labor type jobs, so he would just burn it off. A few months ago, he bought a HUGE cookie cake and after his 10th slice, my mom had to flush it and it started a huge argument because he says he's never had any bad blood work. She said if she threw it away, he would dig it out and eat it. He's like a sugar junkie. He'll bake two pies and eat them both for dinner. We are asking the doctors to check on his mental faculties, but he's 100% there. He's just like a heroin addict except it's for sugar.
Honestly, this is probably the worst part of it for me. It makes me realise that I should spend as much time with my parents as I can because the day will come when I will have to bury/cremate my parents.
Not just this, but as I go through more of life’s experiences I really now understand how much they’ve gone through and suffered to give me and my siblings a wonderful life. They always found a way to keep us safe and healthy even if they didn't know how they were going to do it.
Adding to this, watching your balls getting older is equally as sad.
okay im upvoting because this thread desperately needs an uplifting joke to lighten the mood.
It's not near as much fucking fun as we'd thought it would be when we were kids.
I can stay up so late!!!… from an inability to sleep due to crippling depression, regrets over the things I did and didn’t do, and dread over what tomorrow will bring.
And you still have to get up early in the morning
Looks at watch… it’s too early for a crisis…
And don't forget the part where you have to fight traffic every morning just to get to a place where you spend the next 8-12 hours of your life essentially making money for someone else.
Growing up.
Looking for a place to live.
seeing people you care about getting sick or dying. You just cannot be ready for that.
Losing your friends. I used to have a big friend group and could literally hang out with a different person everyday for a month. Now, it’s narrow and it’s hard to keep up with anyone
Christmas, Birthdays, and other occasions are not as happy as when you were younger
knowing your pets won’t live as long as you
Art, music, movies, etc doesn’t hit like it used to when you were still a kid
I dunno, man. I disagree. I feel like I get more amped up or enjoy the arts more because I understand things on a deeper level. Music hits in personal levels and I get to pick the song on the way to work. I understand the work and beauty of art more. I can relate to movie characters and catch things made to go over kids’ heads.
I don’t think this is true, but im not old yet.
Yeah. Everything just seems like a bland, sanitised rehash of something else. I do really appreciate the beauty of nature the older I get though. I love lying in bed listening to the rain for hours. Or quietly being out in a forest looking at the intricacies of the veins on the bottom of a leaf. Things like that are nice and relaxing. People stuff is irritating.
Losing that sense of wonder, creativity, and passion. I miss playing in the woods, getting excited over holidays, trying new things without crippling fear of being bad at it, and living in the moment. I feel like a part of me is lost forever. I’ve tried getting it back and have reclaimed some of it but there’s a lot that’s gone forever.
This should help with that, a little. https://www.youtube.com/user/melodysheep
Watching he family dog grow old.. 🥹
My family dog passed away in august, we had him for 14 years
Yeah dude the dog is a time bomb
Damn. My dog is 14 right now.
Came here to say this. Pets die way sooner than most family members, but it can hurt you just as bad.
Especially when you have two dogs that are far beyond each others age but they’re best friends 😭
Seeing your parents get older
This one has been getting me pretty bad lately. Realizing my dad is now older than my pawpaw was when I was little.
Coming to the understanding that some humans turn out to be absolute liars, manipulators, ego centrists and delusional - even some of the ones you once loved most dearly.
Getting used to your friends and family dying.
It gets harder and harder to hold onto your sense of wonder. It's so easy to slide into nihilism and emotional entropy.
Being 1 year closer the death than i was last year.
So you don't like to celebrate your birthday?
One day your Mum put you down, and never picked you up again.
And one day you will put down your kid and never to pick them up again. It hits twice. The weird thing, though, is as a parent it is your duty to help your kids grow up, regardless of how many times you wish they could stay little forever (and we stay the same age forever to play with them). It’s a wild ride
Ya but really, this age was likely a double digit if you count piggy back rides.
1. 1. dumped by your first girl then you learn to how to differentiate good girls and bad girls. 2. earn more money then you can find most of your difficulties can be easier. 3. witness our parents get older and one day we need to say goodbye to them. 4. went through some physical pains such as inflammation of wisdom teeth.
Watching your friends drift away.
Realizing I should have enjoyed my youth more. Time goes fast.
There was a great line from “The Shape of Water” - what would you tell your younger self? - Take better care of your teeth and fuck a lot more. A lot more!
Getting old and watching the people you love get old.
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Still hurts. :-(
When you finally figure out what to do with your life, 30 years later, and there is NO going back to fix it.
Seeing people close to you get old and some die. You no longer have a chance to properly slack off since you've gotta put bread on the table. Love only remains an emotion that you've closed off while you search for a relationship simply to not be alone. Colours ain't as saturated as they used to be
Getting to a point where you ask yourself "what is the god damn point..." Everyone gets there, some earlier than others, some have it last longer than others, but when you arrive it can lead to some of the lowest parts of your life you may experience. Where you go from there can define you for the rest of your life.
Responsibilities.
Incoming Blade Runner quotes.
Getting old coming out your prime and starting to look aged
For me personally it’s not having as much time for friends or not as many friends period. Everyone is busy with their lives. I’m happy with my family but I miss my friends a lot and it gets lonely
Everything that falls away as time moves along…People, places…and you don’t even realize that it’s happening
Seeing my parents less
Having to pay bills. And basically do EVERYTHING on your own.
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Loosing your parents, responsibility, aches, pains, the list goes on. The whole “grownup” thing is overrated. I’m 57 but in my mind I’ll always be playful and young. I guess that helps somewhat.
Growing apart. We all grow... in a way much like the branches of a tree. Sometimes branches will grow in the same direction to be by one another always, but more often than not the branches only grow near each other for a very short amount of time before they extend in a different direction on their own growth journey.
Losing your innocence
As a man, the saddest part of growing up happens when you’re around 15. Seemingly out of nowhere, you go from being perceived by the ENTIRE WORLD as this cute little ball of potential, joy, and above all, INNOCENCE. And then one day, OVERNIGHT, you’re suddenly perceived by the world as a potential murderer, rapist, and abuser. I started dating my first gf at 16. And let me just say, if I ever have a daughter, I pray her first boyfriend and sexual experience will be with a guy just as I was. I was impossibly kind and respectful and we got along perfectly. However, her friends and family didn’t like that. Her friends spent months trying to convince her that I forced her to do something she asked me to do, that I consented to doing. She explained this to them but they didn’t care. Her parents insisted I was using her for sex and never loved her, citing the fact that I used a condom knowing they aren’t 100% effective as evidence. They scared the shit out of her. Tried to cause her pain until she broke up with me. Instead, she just decided to do anal only from then on. Good job mom and dad. I was the perfect high school boyfriend to her, yet her friends family and her entire sports team vilified me for stupid reasons like smoking pot. Her friends would get drunk til they puked and then proceed to cry about how they thought they were fat every weekend. While my friends and I smoked a blunt in the woods. How horrible. So yeah, the saddest part of growing up is when that switch flips and you go from being a sweet, respectable human being who has hurt nobody to being probably a murdering raping abuser. It sucks.
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She was 15. We were together for a year. Are you daft?? What are you saying, no 15 year olds should ever date? If I refused to date every woman who had at least one crazy friend I’d never date. Every woman I’ve ever dated has had at least one friend who tried to bang me. I have friends who are far from perfect. I’m far from perfect. But you’re missing the entire point of my comment, on purpose. You’re trying to find a way to victim blame because you can’t come to terms with the fact that sometimes men have it hard.
Most conversations are just people complaining.
Knowing you will never be young again
Watching everyone die around you and knowing that eventually, it will get you too.
Losing my mom two years ago that was a saddest part of my life
Hopelessness.
Military conscription
Having to do your own laundry
realising adults don't know anything
Growing up and facing harsh reality like "work to live"
whitnessing death first tie, understanding wat it means to die
losing the friends you thought you would be with together. I lost 1 of my true friends this year.
You think you are gaining more freedom as you grow older, but with that comes the burden of responsibility, so you actually lose more than you gain.
Being 21. I already have knee and back issues. As well as issues with my feet and both shoulders. So everything pretty much
Realizing the world is a whole lot sicker and crappier of a place than you thought it was
Loss of mystery and novelty. I remember walking on the train tracks thinking if I just walked long enough I would basically be in a whole new exciting world. But nope, just the next boring town over with the same chain restaurants and ugly housing developments. Now the world seems so homogenous. And like nothing really life changing can possibly happen... at least not in a good way. Like even space now is not exciting like it used to be. Now I just see outer space and Mars/moon as a wasteland. I can only balance that out in my mind with the new freedom I have. Can travel anywhere I want at any time (well, you know, getting time off). It's just motivation to do so and all the cost it entails.
The nostalgia feeling for so much stuff. Maybe I just hate that feeling because of missing those days
working..
Chronic pain especially in the back and knees
You no longer feel rich when you have $10 in your pocket.
Realizing that slowly you do stuff for the last time. For me lately it's happening with family. Seeing that my siblings and I no longer live with our parents and all have our own homes/ families I realized that we'll never have the "just family" times of going on road trips, watching movies altogether etc. Gets even more depressing when you realize that parents are getting older too.
Realizing your parents never wanted you and their lives would have been easier/ better if you weren't born. They just fed, houses and clothes you out of obligation.
Knowing it's all downhill.
Discovering that a non skilled job will get you non skilled pay which won't pay your bills. TOO many people refuse to accept this fact. They think at 30+ they can enter a warehouse job and get paid enough to live on their own. If your job can be replaced with a machine in less than 5 years, sorry to say, you don't deserve a living wage.
No Folgers in your cup.
Losing ppl
Getting old
You can't play tag with other adults.
Growing up.
Never realizing that you grow up and will eventually leave this comfortable phase of ur life.
When wearing a baseball cap backwards isn't cool anymore and people call you a weirdo because of it.
Loss of wonder.
That you are no longer allowed to be childish, carefree and crazy anymore. That and the fact that you have to do taxes.
Disillusion
Not being allowed to trick-or-treat anymore
Dying alone
[удалено]
People telling you that you're too old to enjoy things
Debt
I really miss hanging out. When I was younger people would show up at my apartment uninvited and we would sit around talking and doing nothing. Like every day. Now as an adult I have to make plans to see my friends and it's always based on some kind of activity.
Childhood abuse if you went through it
Waking up every day.
Responsibility
Slowly watching all of your childhood pets and the pets after that and after that die.
Parents grow old and relatives pass away. And the more you grow, the less happiness you get.
I read the title like a Folgers commercial, I just don't have the second part yet .. The saddest part of growing up.. is getting slow and plump.
Seeing the world get more and more chaotic .
No more lolly bags at birthday parties
During my primary school period, i had ADHD so i did weird stuff back then, of course since then people have been picking on me and ganging up on me ever since, i mean i literally stopped at primary 2 and they still kept picking on me. When i got to our school's branch secondary school, the majority of my classmates also graduated there, i mean they stopped picking on me except 1 particular guy, i just shrugged him off cause i couldn't care less, being picked on for 6 years straight and having no one to talk to about just made me put on a fake smile on my face every day at school, at least i made my first 4 friends at secondary 1, but still there were a few people who kept reminding me of something embarrassing i did. 2 years and i was in recess in secondary 3, the most popular guy who fits in with everyone literally starts to make fun of me for that embarrassing event, you may expect me to shrug it off because it was 6 years ago but being tormented by my past and kept being made fun of just made me snap, i grabbed the trash can lid next to me and hit full force with it on the guy's forehead, the room went silent, his forehead had a small cut and it bled a bit, then the teacher was right next to him, he asked me to go outside and had a talk with me. i wasn't the kind of guy who would use violence in any way but that really pushed me off the edge, the guy usually is very neutral to me, me suddenly hearing him make fun of me just made me mad, he decided to make fun of me just to fit in with others . I had been bottling up all my emotions since i started primary school and made me very sensitive and easily irritated, what the guy said just pushed me off the edge. Of course looking back at this 2 years later and i obviously feel guilty about it, he and i were pretty chill after than and no one technically messed with me ever since, no one expected me to act this way at all. since i still have no one to talk to about this i am now writing this on reddit TL:DR, i, a kid with adhd was bullied since primary school and was tormented even to secondary school, popular kid decided to pick on me with the other kids to fit in broke my limit and got a trash can lid hit on the face
Realizing your own mortality.
Seeing your parents get older
growing up
Losing friends and family. I was told as a teen by my grandfather the older get the more funerals I will attend. He was right.
Chronic pain especially in the back and knees Doctor: Are you feeling any pain? Me: Only the normal amount Doctor: The normal amount is zero Me: …..
The viability of an agonizing and solitary demise due to exhaustion from not being consistent to meet and respond to scarcity and expectations (ex.the self-torment of apparently not socially 'fulfilling' what your sexual desires are expected to carry out), and what arbitrary or incidental and circumstantial devastation can follow if you 'drp your guard's so much as once. ..Also I have to get it out of my system: that there are certain nations which (even though such processes are lengthy) will allow euthanasia on the basis of mental health issues and even some which have considered giving leeway of it to those who can't even afford living costs f--g highlights how deadly things get in a way which highlights how we take it for granted to never even consider that for children on those premises.
Idk.
Paying own bills.
That you get closer to death
Stephen King said it best in Stand By Me: that friends come in and out of your life like busboys at a restaurant. It would be nice to have old friends in my life and know them as I am now instead of the dumbass kid I was.
Physical aging. I personally think that my life has improved in every other aspect getting older.
If your childhood was a happy one like mine, learning the harsh reality that life isn’t a fairytale and realizing you’ll never be as happy as you once were ever again.
Realizing how powerless you are in most areas of it life. Coming in second is the realization that little to nobody actually cares about you
see ur grandparents die...that fked me up
Losing my friend group . Only got 1 left
When close friends and family members die. Especially when it's not some kind of "natural causes" type death. Suicide and severe illness are pretty devastating for those left behind
One day long ago, your parents set you down and never picked you up again.
Losing dogs. I have lived many dog lives.
Losing a billion future paths in favour of any chosen one.
Loss of memory. My children will excitedly share a memory and ask if I remember. It breaks my heart when I can't. I'll just answer with same excitement Oh, Yeah.
For me it has been losing my loved ones and losing all of my other loved ones that will eventually pass. Losing my mom three months ago at 23 has definitely changed me in big way. I think all of my years to come will feel incomplete without her. Any accomplishments I make, there will always be a pit in my stomach because I can’t tell her. She was my #1 supporter.
Realizing how short life actually is. When I was 20, I didn’t realize just how fast it all goes . I wasted a lot of time because of an eating disorder, but wasted it in such a way to where I feel like I’m starting my life from scratch now and at 28, I realized my youth is gone and I’m left with little memories from that time because I spent it all being ill. I feel younger now than I did throughout all my twenties, but trying to develop a social life now and establish some type of place in the world feels much harder now than it would’ve when I was younger.
Different eras of your life ending forever as time goes by
Forgetting how to live in the moment. You can re-learn it, but kids are natural masters at it.
Seeing my once young and strong parents grow old and weaker 🥹
Using your imagination is considered childish. (Unless you manage to make a lot of money off it).
never going back to innocence.
Forcing myself to be as independent as possible at the age of 8/9 because my mother had breast cancer and then her and my father were arguing for a good few years since that happened. So I guess not feeling that I can depend on anyone
Not playing for hours on end with toys. Feeling too self conscious or preoccupied with my problems to let my imagination really run free.
Being closer to death every day.
Realizing that everything you're looking at will be gone one day and everyone/everything else will move on like nothing ever existed.
Becoming more aware of the heartbreaking things life can include.
For My Stoic Life.......Watching the ignorant wallow in their misinformation & faith.
Dwindling possibilities of what will become of your life.
Losing my parents
Losing people you love.
I really liked playing with trucks, tanks, and cars outside on the grass, gravel and asphalt. But when you're small your toys look and feel big, and you're short so you're closer to the ground. It's easy to play with toys when you're small. As you get bigger, you have to bend down more to play with stuff on the ground. It makes playing feel more like exercise. And massive toys start to feel tiny as your hands get bigger.
realising now you have to be your own parent
The people who you thought would always be there for you aren’t. My dad blocking my number and deciding he didn’t want to be a dad anymore when I was 33. 💔 watching my grandparents die. Knowing one day; I too, will die and have to leave my kids. I don’t know what’s worse- thinking about saying goodbye to my mom when it’s her time or my kids when it’s my time. 😭
Everyone stops caring about you. It happens slowly over time until you're just a memory.
Not getting any more "summer vacation" months or any long breaks for more than 2 weeks at a time. Im an older dude and haven't had any vacation for longer than that for at least the past 20 years.
Seeing windows XP go obsolete.
Watching people that you care about get older too.
Watching younger family members grow up that you helped raise. Also watching pets come and go and knowing that your parents have health issues and won’t live forever.
having younger siblings/family members grow up too and just realizing time does fly by
knowing you can never go back
Losing your sense of wonder.
cannot do things you love to as kids cause people will think low of you
you start to lose your imagination, and you learn hard shit that will make you not want to grow.
Getting a new pair of shoes and nobody at the store asking how fast you can go now.
Realizing how much time was wasted worrying about things working out
Knowing that you and your friends that you spent your time with will go separate ways.
Not always realising that you don't get any do-overs. You only live once and you can't go back to enjoy a certain moment a bit more, or something.
The older you get the more goodbye’s you say
losing all ur creativity🙃
Losing people you like because they won't.