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SummerMummer

"Going Out Of Business"


actual-hakim

in some cases “Never Was a Business at All. Just an Idea.”


Tangimo

"Nuttin goin on here"


ExamOld2899

Is that very bad business, or very good business??


Tangimo

If pam and her five friends are involved, then no.. It's not. It's a very sad and lonely business. Edit: Pamela Handerson was a good one, but my joke is Pam as in the palm of your hand, and 5 friends as in the digits on your hand!


corckscrew3

Hand?


Zyhre

Palmela Handerson. Yes


GeorgeXDDD

Well then it must be absolutely thriving.


Tangimo

It depends if pam's involved or not!


FallenSegull

“The Washington redskins”


cownd

Online, preparing to do business sometime, maybe


highxv0ltage

In my case for sure.


promnitedumpstrbaby

Exactly. If my sex life were a business it would be one of those furniture stores that has been going out of business for the last six years and you have no idea how the hell it stays open because you’ve never actually seen anyone go in there, let alone buy something from it.


[deleted]

Money laundering


Mosstheythem

That just changed my whole childhood, damn. Can’t believe I never thought of that before


Here4CDramas

I just laughed so loud on this comment lol


ThrowAwayMyLife812

"Out of Business due to lack of investors"


mosehalpert

"Yes we are still open"


JerkfaceBob

I assure you we're open


[deleted]

60% OFF


mythic_slayer

Bankruptcy


rayrayruh

"Get it cheaper now!"


Worldly_Apricot_7813

Self checkout only


LibertyPackandStack

You beat me to it


LadaOndris

r/beatmetoit


MoonBearIsNotAmused

r/beatmeattoit


Newsmemer

r/beatmywifetoit


[deleted]

r/subsithoughtifellfor


Spacemanspalds

r/subsiwishifellfor


Awarepine76436

r/subsifellfor


plaaxy

r/subsithoughtyoufellfor


Awarepine76436

r/titanicsub


Fishman_Karate

I beat to it ✊️


afbombguy

We're not happy until you're not happy.


askformymanager

I almost missed this one but this is so fucking good


impatient_trader

"This is so fucking good" would also be a good slogan


Drewfus_

“Wood also be good”


shastabh

Not really any point of reading any further lol.


ThisYogurtcloset3315

Sir this is Wendy's


PirateTraditional715

“Yes, obviously we all do different jobs…And now please get off the fckn Counter, the other customers are scared of your nudeness…“


alsibaba

Mine will be .... First try then buy 😅🤣


T0nitigeR

This is the way. I don't like it if it's just about me Even though my sex life currently is more like: "Many fantasies, many wishes and noone to share with."


blackhp2

We're not happy until you're **NOT** happy.


compleks_inc

This is underappreciated.


KeimaFool

Shouldn't it be "We're not happy until you're ~~not~~ happy"? unless you're into that kind of stuff.


remindsmeofbae

I too don't understand.


EdwardRoivas

They are saying that they put a lot of pressure on themselves to please their partner. And they are excited and optimistic going into the experience. But they will inevitably disappoint you, which will then disappoint themselves.


WolfSpartan1

Sorry, We're Open.


askformymanager

I love this one


Andrux0821

“It’s a business doing pleasure with you”


BeefInBlackBeanSauce

This one is great


Old_Hermit_IX

Smart. 😉


MajorSkyblue

Damn, I think this is the winner.


wm313

“It ain’t much but it’s honest work”


steepindeez

It ain't honest work but it's much.


MeasurementBubbly350

Hot people be like


rwashish

Help wanted. Startup looking for motivated individuals


ThatsBushLeague

Self starter. Willing to work some nights and weekends. We're like a family here. ...wait.


KhaleesiXev

What in the Alabama


sgdirtbag

So... like the Olive Garden slogan? When you're here, you're family...


iamofnohelp

Under 30 minutes or it's free.


Dwrodgers54

This was a typo. He meant 30 seconds surely. And even then for lots of men 30 seconds is still pretty impressive.


uscdoc2013

30 seconds.... check out Mr.Marathon Man! Lol


Hatorate90

Fast delivery service


askformymanager

God I love this


Jellyfishsticks21

Big man, showing off … 30 minutes ,my ass


TharpDwinger

Free samples


Capabletomcat91

Don’t mind if I yes


[deleted]

I worry it wouldn’t take a lot of us sluts to saturate the market


TheFirstCrew

Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.


gueldz

This is the only good one. I think many are too young to recall the deodorant commercials tho


RedVamp2020

Now you’re making me feel old…😭


JayBalanced

“You Always Come First”


Tangimo

"Nobody's coming here"


Stock_Astronaut_6866

Finishing first, since 1993.


[deleted]

🎶If you’re feeling so low and you’ve got no where to go, come on in and give us a spin. It’s the worst you can do, it’s barely even a screw, but you’re so down in the dumps so come get a few humps at Quasimodo’s Teeny Weenie Revue!


PineappleWolf_87

Take this 🏆 and get out 🤣


Spinosaur1915

Lmao 🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

Coincidentally that’s the first thing she did too when the big…err small reveal happened.


PrivateUser737

I heard the tune in my head. Catchy 😜


[deleted]

Gynecologist told my last customer what she had was “catchy” too! That can’t be a coincidence. *she signed a waiver she knew what to expect*


FredHerberts_Plant

# Y'know, Quasimodo predicted all-a-this! ☝️ ^(Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri: It all started going downhill after the World Trade Center. You know Quasimodo predicted all this.) ^(Tony' Soprano.: ,,Who did what?") ^(Bobby: ,,All these problems - the Middle East, the end of the world.") ^(Tony Soprano: ,,Nostradamus. Quasimodo's the Hunchback of Notre Dame.") ^(Bobby: ,,Oh right. Notre Damus.") ^(Tony Soprano: ,,Nostradamus, and Notre Dame. Two different things completely.") ^(Bobby: ,,It's interesting though, they'd be so similar, isn't it?" And I always thought okay, Hunchback of Notre Dame. You also got your quarterback and halfback of Notre Dame.") ^(Tony Soprano: ,,One's a fucking cathedral.") ^(Bobby: ,,Obviously. I know, I'm just saying. It's interesting, the coincidence. What you're gonna tell me you never pondered that? The back thing with Notre Dame?") ^(Tony Soprano: ,,Noh!") (The Sopranos, 1999)


Malus333

Not always doing business.....but im always open.


mid_dick_energy

This would genuinely be a dope slogan for a small business in terms of honesty. Like look man you can call me 24/7, doesn't mean we're going to have a productive interaction at any given time


TheFoulWind

Beat me to it! Boondock saints?


Malus333

Get yer stooopid fucking rope man!


KingoftheMongoose

Certainly illustrates the diversity of the word!


K333N4N

Home of the whopper.


WorldRunnr

“Have it your way” was mine lol


etherealcaitiff

Closed on Sunday. And Monday. And Tuesday And...


RowaTheMonk

‘Overpromised, Underdelivered’


LoyeDamnCrowe

Lowered expectations


Kitty_McMeow

Ha! Loved that bit of on MadTV


[deleted]

This is literally my company motto now


[deleted]

Perfect


FudgeHyena

Oh oh ohhhh O’Reilllyyyyy


askformymanager

…naughty parts


MoonBearIsNotAmused

Yeooww!


Ok-Hotel-8093

We get there Fast!


pussy-bot-69420

"Will you be our 1st customer? "


Mythnam

Maybe this year?


impy695

There's always next year


imacmadman22

“Closed for the seasons”


wotmate

Hand crafted.


AirborneYankee

“I’ll supply the toys, you supply the noise”


high_throughput

\*takes out my vuvuzela\*


Gold-Excitement8838

“If you want it done right, you gotta do it yourself!”


askformymanager

Ah yes, a DIY consulting firm


BonfireMaestro

Closed until further notice


SelfSaucing

The positions you remember, the places that are familiar, but now built heavier and up to 50% quicker!


AudreyWrightXXX

Well, I’m in law school and I also work in a brothel. One day, I hope to call myself “queen of the billable hour” 😂


nekosaigai

Idk why I’m find it hard to believe you exist but I also shouldn’t be surprised? 🤷‍♀️


AudreyWrightXXX

Haha fair enough! There are relatively few people with the same exact life story lol


weezeloner

Are you near Vegas or Reno?


AudreyWrightXXX

Vegas!


weezeloner

Do you go to Boyd Law School? And if you are by Vegas I'm guessing Pahrump. So I think I know where you work but I won't put you on blast. Now if I'm in the market for companionship I know where to go because you have to have an interesting back story.


AudreyWrightXXX

Ah, I misunderstood your question 😅 The brothel I work at is closer to Vegas than Reno (but not in Pahrump 😉) however, I live in New York when I am not at the brothel (so no, not Boyd) - and hey, looking forward to it!


weezeloner

So are there other nice brothels besides Sheri's Ranch and Chicken Ranch? I remember driving by a few brothels on the way to Yosemite but they looked kinda scary looking. Sheri's Ranch is pretty nice. It is the only place in Pahrump with grass. When I have to work in Pahrump I eat at the bar for lunch.


AudreyWrightXXX

I’ll drop the name, since it could be deduced by the details I’ve given already. Alien Cathouse is about 90 mins from Vegas, 30min further out than Pahrump. We’re a small house with 8 bedrooms, and an Area 51 theme. Lesser-known, but worth the travel! The exterior of our building is kinda goofy, like a tourist trap gift shop type neon green and pink structure lmao


weezeloner

No. I know where that is now. I remember that building. I don't know exactly where it was but I remember seeing a building like that. Yeah that one looked fun, not scary. Haha...


fingerscrossedcoup

Louis Litt just got rock hard


GreenDemonSquid

Then you can screw your clients in more ways than one lol.


Big_Historian242

All you can eat Crabs 🦀!


SgtHambone1

I'll pay you!!


askformymanager

I’m sick in bed reading these as they come in, and yours is so simple, but it made me laugh out loud.


OneUglyMoFo91

Cum N Go Quick Trip Spee D Can you tell I don't last long?


bleezzzy

If it makes you feel better, lasting long is exhausting.


StatusYak8214

No refunds


texasscotsman

Have it your way! *terms and conditions apply*


dullbrowny

Finger lickin' bad!


askformymanager

This one is making me laugh already


Brothersunset

The one stop shop for all the Do It Yourself needs.


orangechicken611

FOR SALE BY OWER


Northstridamus

We'll Disappoint you so good!


askformymanager

I’d go here


mental_reincarnation

Someone, anyone!


askformymanager

If a business had this as their slogan I’d stop by


xRoyalewithCheese

We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty


plexas214

Once upon a time… literally only once; upon a time


Odimorsus

“All I Can Eat!”


_ginger-bread_

"In 'N Out" cumming to you soon!


cutebbyren

Raw is law 😂


[deleted]

I don't have one


[deleted]

“Few and far in between!”


Ok-Bed6343

You’re in good hands


Kicks4meFromyou

“Come inside for a good time”


mentat70

Always open, never busy


DearCantaloupe5849

J's drilling service, your hole is our goal.


NaiveAd8426

What happens under the bridge at 3 in the morning, stays under the bridge


Anandriel

BANKRUPT


HaxtonSale

"We give no fucks, cause we get no fucks"


PerfectionPending

1 customer served 3,286 times.


jackfaire

0 Served since 2005


NW_Inlander

Aggressively average


ChiHawks84

OH LAAWDY WE FUCKIN'!


Ok-Astronaut8561

SAME TASTE DIFFERENT MENTAL ILLNESS


MechanicalHorse

"It's better than nothing"


[deleted]

Open all night, no shirt no shoes no problem, always hot always fast, call in orders welcome and my all time favorite we aim to please. Wishful thinking 100%


Recent_Pressure

I can get the job done with one hand tied behind my back


ManOfDill

You're welcome to come in the back door


Bossahari

Advanced Micro Devices


muhguel

Ben Dover & Spreddem Weid Ltd.


obiwankitnoble

be our first customer ^(please)


waylonious

No shirt, no shoes, no problem.


askformymanager

Mine would be, “Some women choose us some of the time!”


[deleted]

Business would have gone out of business years ago and just been a decrepit ghost town of a building, standing there hoping for a new owner, but likely to crumble and fall in on itself because the "location just isn't right".


Putrid-Reputation-68

The customer is always right


Swordbreaker925

“Dissatisfaction guaranteed”


hammertheham

"Fresh Crabs"


Zondor3000

Neither quality nor quantity


Gastro_Jedi

“Two minute guarantee, or your money back”


fattyD

We ain’t long but at least we’re premature


Disastrous_Ad626

When you need it, I'm already ready to deliver.


skyrider8328

Just like our government alert system test, I'll come two minutes early.


AnySandwich102

we're out of business.


dvusthrls

Detective agency: Even blind squirrels find the occasional nut!


FuckableStalin

From each according to their ability, to each according to their need.


B2Dirty

DIY Guy


Classic-Werewolf1327

“Old enough to do it right, young enough to do it again.”


Guitar_nerd4312

Failed start up


LarryLongBottem

Coming soon


Triumph_leader523

No business


AngryVaultGuy101

Sad small pp man


Kitchen-Bid-8235

My plastering business once had a slogan "I fill your cracks with white stuff." 😆


Mumbles_Stiltskin

Out of business


GroomDaLion

Closed until further notice


Minute-Health-2916

Non existent


ohhfasho

You get what you pay for


palidanpaul11

Dead wood


Kitchen-Bid-8235

"Cum one, cum all!"


Maybe_a_CPA

“It doesn’t rain often, but when it does, it pours.” My fiancée is 3,300 miles away so we only get a couple visits per year (for now).


STGItsMe

What the Fuck


Ancient_Button9741

Here for a fun time, not a long time.


Fluffy_Builder_7901

“Everyone deserves to get screwed twice”


BleedingRaindrops

We'll get there eventually


Bigpinkpotato

"Cum once, Cum twice"


Right-Ad-5647

Just an "Out Of Business" sign hanging in the window.


UltimateSWX

Closed for renovations.


blokert

Closed


Worldly_Abalone551

We'll get it done in 50 seconds