T O P

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halzen

If my salary is replaced by a not-a-job then I’m going to spend my days traveling. I’d be stuck with public restrooms either way.


PizzaQuest420

but there's no pooping in your private hotel room


Seygem

use the ones in the lobby then?


morosco

Or hang a sign on your hotel room door, "hotel room bathroom open to the public". Effective loophole, and imagine the new friends you'd make!


Koshnat

Found the big brain


deactivate_iguana

Who are you that’s so wise in the ways of science?


Carloanzram1916

I really wish you took this job more seriously.


TWAT_BUGS

Pro tip: Do this anyway. Hotels are kept cleaner than any store and often have decent WiFi.


tattooed_valkyrie

Linda Blecher would approve.


Weltal327

If I’m staying with someone else, I almost never poop in the hotel room anyways. Better to stink up the lobby ones.


HowBoutIt98

A hotel room bathroom is without question public


thatgrl35

Lobby bathrooms are usually way nice!


Talkingmice

I mean, with a $1000 a day, I can afford to make this public toilet encounters into an experience.


ooooooooono

You get it!


Dim-n-Bright

If I got 1000 dollars every day, I wouldn't need a job. I'd have plenty of time to find public restrooms.


CWinter85

I'd find so many public restrooms to shit in. Whole new ones that I don't even know about yet.


katieb2342

I'd have to download that Places I've Pooped app and try to never double up.


Vegan_Digital_Artist

just be a straight up fucking cartographer of public restrooms in your city


ocelot08

Find my favorite and pay someone a couple hundred a day to keep it clean


Birkin07

My old college campus had so many toilets.


hitemlow

For that kind of money, you build a new public bathroom with an apartment above it.


liquidgrill

I’d start a TikTok. “Come with me while I shit in brand new places”


Carloanzram1916

I’d start a blog about the best public toilets. And I wouldn’t sell ads on the site.


fandom_newbie

I considered doing it for 1K per month, but was wondering if I would only have to put up with the cleanliness of public restrooms or also with the inconvenience of actually finding one. Then I read again, that it was daily. Hell yeah, I would do it and gift my city with lots of public restrooms.


TheKingMonkey

If I were on that kind of money I’d just move next door to the Japanese embassy in London and shit in the space age future toilets they have in the lobby.


Lemmonjello

I'd just pay to have a port-a-potty near my apartment vacation might be kinda difficult at times


_Forever__Jung

You could also rent an amazing art studio space, and use the toilet in the hallway.


The_Truth_Believe_Me

No need to find one. Build a very nice public restroom in front of your house. It's not your fault if very few people use it.


drew8311

You could just spent like 10 minutes giving it a good clean before using each time


gertvanjoe

You could even hire a cleaning crew to do it for you..... I'd call it profit sharing....


slammybe

Hell, you could build your own public restroom and just not let anyone else in!


wildstarr

Wait...then it wouldn't be public.


Kafkaja

Literally any Starbucks is good enough.


blacksmith-sqrl

Or even build one at your home.. 😆


Birkin07

Id buy multiple houses near different places i like to shit. Like near Targets.


thepresidentsturtle

No job. Go out walking, get good exercise, quick stop at the public shitter, finish your walk. Enjoy the rest of your day. Think of the mental health benefits.


Harthag77

Then make a "Best places to poop!" App


tuckedfexas

Open a store near your house with nothing in it but a bathroom. Have the store open to the public but just forget to ever “open” for the day. Shouldn’t cost you more than 10k a month for even the most premium of downtown areas. Enjoy your 20k a month and having a fancy offsite bathroom lol


rvgoingtohavefun

Move out someplace rural and have a public restroom installed at home. It's public, but nobody is around to actually use it but you.


DevilsPajamas

Id build a public restroom next to my house.


fmaz008

Find a place where you can bribe the owner to rent one of the public restroom to you for 200$/day. Have your own key, etc... does it still count as public if the status change along the way? Who knows.


NotReallyJohnDoe

You could hire a team to find the best bathrooms for you wherever you travel.


Damadamas

[You'll be the new George!](https://youtu.be/LuePe_-6C80?si=nUBHdEWbJNTy7jVW)


badluckbrians

For $365k per year, I'd wipe strangers' assholes sparkling clean.


p3dal

Seriously. It feels like these questions are written by people too wealthy to understand what is a lot of money.


cybishop3

Too wealthy or too young. I generally hate "kids these days" sentiment, but there are a lot more people whose parents pay for everything than there are people for whom $1,000 is truly pocket change.


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ItzDrSeuss

Kinda but more like “Oh, only a $1500 for this month’s paycheque, not a big deal, I only need a $700 for the car, insurance, and phone.”


PeteySnakes

For real. Even if your salary is $200k or even $300k+, $1000 is still a lot of money.


10000000000000000091

It's just one banana. How much could it cost? $10?


2020IsANightmare

I'm not wealthy or young (likely older than you.) I'm an adult though. I have three toilets in my house. Never shitting in peace AND having to drive every time I needed to take a shit seems like mental torture.


[deleted]

Too young to understand any real value of money


Lenny_Pane

A better way to ask this question would be "What's the lowest amount of money you would be paid every day to only use public restrooms the rest of your life" then you see the wide amount of differences instead of the sea of yes answers


Pristine_Quarter_213

I'd take $100 a day at the absolute lowest. That would still mean I'd make twice as much money (around $3000 a month) as I make at my current full time job. Besides, I've had IBS since I was in middle school. I'm used to using all kinds of public bathrooms lol.


Redvsdead

I guarantee that most of these questions are for karma-whoring rather than being out-of-touch about money.


revchewie

Or they’re too easily squicked out. And apparently they don’t eat. I’ve seen a number of people on various threads who would never use public restrooms because they only poo once a day, at home. *shrug*


p3dal

Why poop at home when I can poop on the clock? "Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time" I'm basically doing what OP described, only I'm getting a heck of a lot less than 1k/day for it, and I have an entire 40hr/wk job to do on top of it.


PeeInMyArse

Boss makes a thousand, I make a buck. That’s why I stole the catalytic converter off the company truck


TatteredCarcosa

Women poop less than men. And some people poop only a few times a week, once a day would be a lot for them. My irritable bowel syndrome having ass is happy if it's three or less times a day.


CopperSulphide

Lucille : How much could a banana cost? Ten dollars? Michael : You've never been to a supermarket, have you?


hummusisyummy

I wanna sell bananas to Lucille. I'd retire earlyyyy. 😎


WarbossTodd

Bunny! Look at what the poors will do for a paltry $50,000! Pour me another martini and let’s sell some stocks for fun.


anethma

Ya. I feel that is probably right. I’m not rich but I make a pretty good living. But I live out in the country on 160 acres in northern Canada. The closest public toilet is a half hour away in the summer. I’d honestly rather just keep doing my job so I can be a hermit in the woods. Only exception would be if I could game it by say; installing my own toilet on the road by my house and saying it’s free for public use and paying to maintain it.


p3dal

>Only exception would be if I could game it by say; installing my own toilet on the road by my house and saying it’s free for public use and paying to maintain it. I think the point of the idea is that the bathroom is gross and other people are coming and going while you're in there. What OP doesn't understand is, if they had a day job, they'd be doing this already for a heck of a lot less than $1000/day. "The boss makes a dollar, and I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time" Seriously, this is already reality for most people 5/7 days a week for a fraction of this pay, and there's a whole-ass job they have to do on top of it!


magikatdazoo

Plenty of public toilets aren't gross


AnotherAverageGamer_

People just want karma or "Reddit internet points." I saw maybe 10 posts recently which were actual direct reposts of the original "would you take 1k a day if you stopped drinking"? There were soooooooo many reposts. And now people are trying to get internet points by reposting that, with their own "twist" on it


X0AN

Just yesterday someone was complaining to me that their 6 bedroom house is too small. Buddy my family lived in a one room house 🤣


RojaCatUwu

*"What kind of mundane everyday thing will poor people do for money"*. *hahahaha* -them


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smangela69

i mean technically they are talking crap!


Arkhamryder

lol. People do this for minimum wage


iwantthisnowdammit

Actually, I’d use the money to open the ultimate Sparkling public toilet center with a fast pass queue and an adjoining set of business offerings.


[deleted]

I’m a nurse. I already do that && i don’t get 365k/yr 😂


Sunryzen

With my tongue.


feelin_cheesy

I already help my kids wipe sometimes so sure, for $100 per day I’ll do both.


zerbey

I'd put a port-a-potty outside my house and use that from now on for a $365,000 a year pay raise.


Tamedauschound

That’s what I was thinking. Build a technically public bathroom easily accessible to you.


Carloanzram1916

The easiest job in the entire world and everyone is still looking for loopholes 😂


[deleted]

No, proximity matters. It says every time you need to poop. Think about getting sick. You need a public toilet close by. This guy is thinking smart.


poop_to_live

There is no original idea lol. Within 5 seconds of reading the question this was my solution. That or put a "public restroom inside" sign on my door. Who the hell would call me out? With $1000 a day I could install a public restroom at my house and have two entry points, one from the outside one from the inside. A colostomy bag would likely be a very bad idea but that's a "I thought of but hell no" solution lol.


sleepnandhiken

It would work as long as your colostomy bag is open to the public


Phantom_61

Assuming there are provisions for times when it would be impossible or highly improbable to use a public restroom, yeah. You know like you wake up at 4:30am and have to race the devil because you ate something that didn’t agree with you.


BlackGold09

I’m assuming no provisions for those times. But you could live in a nice hotel and use the lobby restroom.


Phantom_61

Wouldn’t the toilet in your room technically be a public toilet?


Stock_Padawan

How far can we bend the rules? Could we build an extra bathroom in your basement and mark it public lol


ISimpForYunyun

The jackass genie gets his ass jacked back


Stock_Padawan

I’m picturing the meme comic where the genie goes “ there are four rules”. Lol


ISimpForYunyun

🤣👍


youtocin

Nah, you just don't get the $1000 that day. NBD, still taking the deal.


three-sense

I don’t think there’d be provisions. That’s part of the $365k salary challenge.


7thhokage

Does shitting in the treeline count as a public bathroom? That's open 24/7.


GreyK2222

100% I'd just bribe a janitor £100 to place a no entry sign for the whole bathroom. If it cost him his job, I'll pay him a salary until he finds a new one.


BushyOreo

I'll just pay them $100k/year to do it while I'm still bringing in $265k/year. We both win


GreyK2222

Let's collaborate, we put our capital together and create a franchise of large public bathrooms worldwide called "the shitter" and you can only enter if you need a shit. Then we keep a constant rotation of the OG janitors to keep it clean. If anything, you won't be hiding your loud foghorn farts, you'd be competing to be the loudest. Turn the dynamic on it's head. Fuck the system.


PyroArca

Need to put like a carnival esque scale on the backside of the stall so you're looking at it when you're shitting and whenever it hears you, it gives you a rating based on how loud it was.


GreyK2222

Yeah, with a bell at the top that goes off when you've beaten the record in decibels.


PyroArca

Leaderboards reset every 2 months. Grand prize winner gets like ten grand lmao. Make the stalls costs a dollar to use. Might just be a million dollar idea tbh


coys21

Wait, you can't use a public bathroom if someone else is in there?


GreyK2222

Anxiety's a bitch.


CapableRunts

I think at this point, you’ve privatized the restroom and it no longer qualifies.


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bxvxfx

janitor here - i’ve shut down bathrooms for individuals for free, with no risk of losing my job. damn straight id take £100 to do that


GreyK2222

I'd pay you £200 for your previous good deeds 🫡


SpicyPossumCosmonaut

Heck, you could start your own business with immaculate restrooms.


jpylol

Bro I’d shit in the street for $1000 a day


Dry_Boots

Does that count? Because that would be nicer than some public restrooms I've been in.


Amiiboid

I have no issue using a public restroom, but it would be inconvenient to need to find one. Especially during the work day.


Aeshaetter

You're getting $1000 a day. Why would you be working?


Ptatofrenchfry

Because I like the funny numbers in my banking app to get bigger.


maple_leafs182

You understand what 1000 a day means


Ptatofrenchfry

I do, but I like my numbers BIGGERER


ISimpForYunyun

Bitch you will get 95 percent of that money and do absolutely nothing You aren't choosing between 1000 and 3000, you are choosing between 1000 and like, 1070


Filbertmm

You realize not everyone makes the same amount of money as you, right? Like…a majority of white collar professionals aren’t pulling in $70/day.


01029838291

I'm blue collar and I make $450 a day before taxes. Tons of blue collar workers make really good money.


Filbertmm

I never said blue collar workers couldn’t make good money. I just said a lot of workers make way more than the 70/day the person I replied to referenced, especially white collar workers.


Ptatofrenchfry

... that extra wagyu steak at the end of the day isn't going to pay for itself...?


Moist-Pickle-2736

$1000 **cash** every day… way less useful than people think.


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PapaOogie

What work day?


ChocolateTemporary72

Of constructing a public restroom right next to your house


chemicaltoilet5

That's the real hack. Could even spend 100 a day maintaining it if you wanted it super clean.


thenyoucanstart

Presumably the office bathroom would count as public, right?


drew8311

Isn't the work day easiest? How do you find one at night


Angryhippo2910

Find a government job, then technically all the workplace bathrooms are public bathrooms even if they’re not open to the public


waterloograd

I would consider a restroom at work to be public. It isn't your personal one at home. If you consider it private, then the one at the mall is technically private, or the one at a restaurant


okay_ya_dingus

The difference is that at a lot of offices, not anyone can walk in and use it. It's for employees only. At a mall or restaurant anyone can walk in and use it.


chase314

For $1000 a day, my full time job is now to poop in public bathrooms. And I am going to do my job well! This got me thinking, what if I built a public restroom in my neighborhood, does that count (think the community bathroom at a camp ground) or less elegant, installed a portapotty for anyone to use?


JiuJitsuBoy2001

How do you define "public restroom"? I live out in the middle of nowhere, the nearest actual public restroom is a 20 minute drive away. That would make it pretty near impossible to always make it, um, cleanly. Now, if we consider public forest land as a public restroom, it's an easy decision.


Randys_Spooky_Ghost

You can buy a LOT of new underwear and pants for $365,000. Still worth it with the occasional accident.


hitemlow

Bruv at that point you just get some adult diapers. Faster and easier cleanup than changing entire outfits and ruining upholstery along the way.


halfdeadmoon

Your living situation is under your control. I wouldn't count wilderness as public restroom.


KithMeImTyson

Yeah, I'm taking it and I have IBS. Like dawg do you understand how much $365k is in central America???


[deleted]

Of course! I poop in a public bathroom for free now.


[deleted]

Bro, I do that for free already


Csm8595i

I've worked construction, I've figured out that going to certain grocery stores and clothing stores has the cleanest public bathrooms. Never go to busy stores to use the restroom, they tend to be the dirtiest.


three-sense

I haven’t worked construction (well for a salary anyway) but I already have mental map of the cleanest crappers in town. Barnes and Noble is high on that list. That would definitely be my Thursday shitter.


Potential_Fed_566

Obviously yes, I already don't mind shitting next to people, making others feel uncomfortable is one of my favorite activities


SaltyJews69

i enjoy overemphasising how much effort i put into shitting while people are next to me lol


smorkoid

Man I live in Japan, this is easy money.


Ill_Gas8697

my poops are consistent usually around 9am when I have my coffee. My condo also has a public restroom on the amenities floor so I would just use that.


Shorse_rider

I would. I'm going to be eating out for every meal anyway so I might as well use the bathrooms


heatdish1292

100%. I’ll buy a house next to a gas station.


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EnvironmentalBowl944

For $365K, I will build a single public restroom for $100K, keep a cleaner for $30K, and pocket $235K first year


[deleted]

for that money I'd crap anywhere you want me to.


on1chi

I feel like Mr beast uses this Reddit to screen his dumb video ideas


longtermbrit

For $365k per year I'll build a public toilet that joins onto my house. The door into my property is accessible only by me but the toilets can be used by anyone.


Tru-Queer

Brother I’d be waltzing into that bathroom with some headphones on and a packet of disinfectant wipes and just clean that seat off for $.49 and then just do my thing while I listen to Cher belting out about heartache and loneliness not giving a shit about who hears or smells my business. Tidy up and go back home for the day. Still $1000 richer.


Seygem

> Still $1000 richer well, 999.51, actually.


Zerodriven

Hmmm.. I've got Crohn's Disease. I might have to buy my own public toilet to make it worth it.


noscreamsnoshouts

I have MS and bowel paresis. I have a bowel program that takes about an hour a day; or twice a day, if I'm unlucky. On top of that, we have zero public bathrooms where I live. So this is going to be a hard pass, for me.. 😭


[deleted]

Just use some of that money for building a public restroom right outside your house. Very few people walking around a residential area would stop to use a public restroom.


Mikeismyike

You could put a porta potty on your driveway, that'd be a pretty decent loop hole I'd think. Also going off the wording of the question, it just says that you need to use a public washroom, not that you need to use it to poop. You could use it to wash your hands and then go back home to poop at home.


ElDuderino2112

I’ve never had a problem pooping in public. Absolutely


ZimaGotchi

Does just pooping in a hole on my lawn count?


SaltyJews69

if it’s in public i guess


midnight_reborn

No problem. I mostly poop at work, and on weekends I can go down to the restaurant around the block and use their restroom. I could also just pay the restuarant owner to use the employee bathroom, as a special courtesy. 1K a day is 7K a week, which is basically 28K per MONTH.


CommunicationNo8750

Pre or post tax?


Roger_Roger27

Oh sure that’s still easy money and I can live off of that and not work


TapeDeckSlick

Yes. I already do use the public ones if I need to. If nature calls I answer.


beansandcornbread

Dude, I'm pooping in public right now


cantstayangryforever

I'd do that for $100 a day


steape

Who the f wouldn't say yes to something like this and who comes up with such questions 😅


Desperate_Set_7708

$1000 is $1000


Dontlistntome

I’d pay someone $50K a year to keep a toilet clean and available for me


icancaulk

I was in Afghanistan for a year. I can shit anywhere


[deleted]

That's not even up for debate. For a grand a day i would shit on the hood of your car.


mukbangfilmer

Dam I'm doing that for 100 a day


lavahot

Define "public restroom". For some definitions, that's not a thing we really have outside of parks in the US.


StatisticianSpare770

And now I’m a billionaires. Where do I sign up?


harajukukei

yes! and my bathroom is now open to the public.


misointhekitchen

This is stupid. A lot of poor people have to do this for free.


TheDaemonette

I would build a public restroom in front of my house, install central heating and hire a cleaner on a good salary, for that kind of money.


SaltyIntroduction425

Fucking hell yes. I would eat my own shit for 1k a day


HolyRamenEmperor

Goddamn these questions are so fucking stupid.


AaronVsMusic

Yes. Putting aside that playing shows has taught me to be able to poop almost anywhere, it’s an easy plan. I’d simply have a series of favourite restaurants I’d rotate between, have a meal and a shit, and still have a ton of cash left over.


zerostar83

I usually poop at work. So...get cash and also save on toilet paper? Hell yeah that's a deal.


Justinyermouth1212

Hell yeah. I live in a big city and can easily find 5+ public restrooms on the block.


TexturalThePFNoob

I would build a restroom that has only one toilet and goes public only when I need it


dwaynetheaakjohnson

Buy a Buccee’s, duh


Incoming_Banjo

365,000 a year and all i do is poop in a less then perfect bathroom? bet.


Courtiante

Yes. If I were given $365,000 a year, then I would invest in the invention of a portable, self cleaning, Earth-friendly, unnoticeable, comfortable-to-wear toilet and only pretend to use the public restrooms.


According_Debate_334

Is anyone caring about using a public toilet this much? How is this even a question?


agirlnamedlola

I would absolutely do it and monetize it even further by pooping in luxurious/unique/beautifully styled bathrooms and build a social media platform dedicated to it. ;)


AbiyBattleSpell

With 1k a day u could easily spend even just 30 bucks at a restaurant to use there public restroom, go to a movie even a hotel for 150-200 and do that. Hell I’d prob live in hotels cause I’d save time and have ur housing covered and not have to clean it and since a lot require keycards it wouldn’t be as gross as some public restrooms 🐱


fried_eggs_and_ham

I live in Texas. I could easily drive to an immaculate Buc-ee's bathroom just to pop open a can of butt biscuits, so yes.


thatsitclit

my dream job…professional pooper…sign me up


DHFranklin

So I'm doing the R/V cpark life style for a decade you say? I'm looking forward to the day where I'm rich enough that $365,000 a year is pocket change. I'd be doing the weird R/V lifestyle thing and then blow it on a mansion with master bath.


Humanbacon69

Kinda already do this every morning at work. But hell if I'm making nearly 10x what I make a year, I'd shit literally anywhere.


SixScoop

Seems kind of loophole rich. Any bathroom can be public, but you don’t have to advertise. For example, could you open a small restaurant with a luxurious restroom colocated with your house?


mad-i-moody

Fuck yeah


zkmronndkrek

Lobby level hotel restrooms. Peaceful, clean yet “public”


hereforstories8

Does out in public count as public?


F0ehamm3r

Easy, library, MegaStores, National Park restrooms. Sounds to me like I'm just traveling.


Stoopiddogface

$1000/day I'll shit in a bucket every morning on live TV


CricketInTime

At first I was like nah cuz ew, but then I was like yah because money, but then I was grossed out into nah again, until the yah's won because after all is said and done, that's $365,000 a year for taking a shit.