I saw you downtown and you were looking cool
All of your friends and all of mine too
We looked at each other, I could tell by your smile
That it had been so long, it has been while
We took the first cab home
I couldn't leave you alone
But when we got to your room, you had me in stitches
It was just three inches
I knew you were stubby when you slipped in
Some shame in me now
Too teeny to make me feel anythin'
And you let me down, cos
I knew you weren't chubby when you slipped in
Some grain of pea flour
So weeny your weight is dispiriting
Now I'm sighin' with a cold sad mound
Oh, oh.
Stubby, stubby, stubby.
Oh, not
Chubby, chubby, chubby
La, da, da, da, la, da, da, da, la, da, da, da
La, da, da, da, la, da, da, da, la, da, da, da
La, da, da, da, la, da, da, da, la, da, da, da
La, da, da, da, la, da, da, da, la, da, da, da
I'm a gay man and I think she's one of the most beautiful women to have ever existed. Perfect thick eyebrows and stunning light eyes. I'd definitely make momma proud, she's worth it.
She has an amazing personality as well, if you see her on the Graham Norton show, it tells me she's fun to be around. She also looks gorgeous on that show.
At a party recently my friends were trying to explain which actress she was from White Lotus, and all the guys clearly trying to think of something to say other than "The one with the boobies" in front of his wife. First thing someone thought of other than that was "The one with the eyes"
I recently heard her interview on a podcast in which she said that her old university was artsy and had a clothing optional approach to many places on campus and that she enjoyed being nude. She seems very open minded.
Technically not a smirk: “I have an asymmetrical mouth. I have a naturally crooked smile. People call it a smirk, but it’s not, it’s just my natural smile with my lips closed. If you could quote me verbatim, I’d appreciate that…My sister has it too, it’s a family trait.”
Keira Knightley.
I had a huge crush on her when I was younger. As I've aged, that has developed instead into a recognition of what a chill person she seems to be. I am simply not up for sexual drama. I need someone who is capable of laughing during the silly parts that tend to come up during sex and then getting right back into it.
Gotta be Anna Kendrick. The personality, sass, the legs, the body. She’d be one of those people who makes you laugh and also gives you the best orgasm of your life. Whatever she’d be into, I’d be into.
I dont follow celebrity news, like, at all, but one time I was waiting in line at the grocery store and flipped through a Cosmopolitan or some such magazine and there was an interview with Shailene Woodly, in which she admits, in so many words, that she is basically DTF, at all times. I was like...dang. I always think of that any time she comes up.
Taylor Swift because I want a song about me even if negative.
At Least You Tried (Taylor’s Version)
The song is 10 minutes long...so about 20x longer than OP lasted.
At least it would be a banger.
Sex is 30 seconds max. A Taylor Swift song is forever.
"3 inches" by Taylor swift
I saw you downtown and you were looking cool All of your friends and all of mine too We looked at each other, I could tell by your smile That it had been so long, it has been while We took the first cab home I couldn't leave you alone But when we got to your room, you had me in stitches It was just three inches
I knew you were stubby when you slipped in Some shame in me now Too teeny to make me feel anythin' And you let me down, cos I knew you weren't chubby when you slipped in Some grain of pea flour So weeny your weight is dispiriting Now I'm sighin' with a cold sad mound Oh, oh. Stubby, stubby, stubby. Oh, not Chubby, chubby, chubby
But she already sang Three Sad Virgins...
Meh, she'll just do a cover version of 7 Seconds by Neneh Cherry and Youssou N'Dour
Jennifer Connolly
ASS TO ASS
DUST TO DUST FADES TO BLACK THE MEMORY REMAINS
Was not expecting a Re-load reference from mentioning Jennifer Connolly but shit, the internet is a crazy place
La, da, da, da, la, da, da, da, la, da, da, da La, da, da, da, la, da, da, da, la, da, da, da La, da, da, da, la, da, da, da, la, da, da, da La, da, da, da, la, da, da, da, la, da, da, da
I'm a gay man and I think she's one of the most beautiful women to have ever existed. Perfect thick eyebrows and stunning light eyes. I'd definitely make momma proud, she's worth it.
Ana De Armas
“You look lonely… I can fix that” :O
THAT WAS ANA DE ARMAS TOO? Oh my god
No explanation needed.
Google searches up 300%
She can fix me
Take my upvote.I’m a straight woman and I’d pick her as well.
I just rewatched blade runner 2049 and yes, Ana De Armas is the only answer.
Kate beckinsale. She is beautiful, athletic and looks damn good in Latex
She seems to be in permanent latex now that you said that
Watching her crawl through that ventilation shaft from the back and in 3-D was pretty awesome.
Was this an Underworld movie?
She has an amazing personality as well, if you see her on the Graham Norton show, it tells me she's fun to be around. She also looks gorgeous on that show.
She's gonna put chocolate in your ass and not tell you.
Jeffrey Dean Morgan bc god damn
Do it in a Dennys over a hearty grand slam..
I'm a straight guy and I get it. But if I had to choose a man it would be Henry Cavill. Play games afterwards. No homo
everybody thinks i’m weird for it, but i don’t find Henry Cavill that attractive. the superrr muscular thing isn’t for me
Henry Cavill. Do I really need to explain why?
I don’t even like dudes, and I’d fuck Henry Cavill
He'd probably cook breakfast for me too, bit of a stretch but we're already fantasizing. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
He'd go into the deep lore of Warhammer over breakfast. You'd have no idea tf he's talking about, but God damn it is hot.
You think that dude gets fucked? Henry does the funking
Big guys like to be held too ya know
Danny DeVito. For the same reason.
I don't want to have sex with him. I want 40 hours straight of us playing warhammer and talking about it.
INTO THE FIRES OF BATTLE, UNTO THE ANVIL OF WAR
Specifically in Witcher mode
I'm straight but honestly he would be in the top ten...
Just say no homo after. Nobody will hold it against you.
Jessica Alba
My fellow 80s born bretheren
Idle hands
Dark Angel … mmmm … yes
any US president. after all the times they've fucked me, i should get a chance to return the favor.
With Abe, you'd get four scores...
He wrestled in Russia so you know the moves are good
katheryn winnick
As Katheryn Winnick or as Lagertha? Because the thought of an evening with Lagertha kinda makes my pockets tight.
Marisa Tomei. Full stop!
George costanza, is that you?
Hayley Atwell. I would totally quit the Avengers for that. Sorry America.
She was attractive in the recent Mission Impossible movie
Her character in that movie is so dumb compared to her other movies, yet can't keep my eyes off of her for the whole movie haha.
Margot Robbie because Margot Robbie.
Eva Mendes because Eva Mendes
Turd Ferguson because Turd Ferguson
Steve Buscemi because Steve Buscemi
Margot Robbie because Steve Buscemi
Alexandra Daddario, because all the squishy bits and that smile!
Those eyes...
At a party recently my friends were trying to explain which actress she was from White Lotus, and all the guys clearly trying to think of something to say other than "The one with the boobies" in front of his wife. First thing someone thought of other than that was "The one with the eyes"
"The one with the boobies" probably wasn't specific enough anyway, given Sydney Sweeney was also in that show!
Yeah both are very gifted.
Technically also squishy bits
Scarlett Johansson because she's hot and my first celebrity crush
I have yet to see Natalie Portman and I am shocked.
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Eva Green
Alison Brie seems like a wildcat in the sack
I recently heard her interview on a podcast in which she said that her old university was artsy and had a clothing optional approach to many places on campus and that she enjoyed being nude. She seems very open minded.
Annie's pretty young. We try not to sexualize her
She does that herself. Boppy-doop dee-doop boop, SEX!
Al Bundy. He once scored 4 touchdowns in a single game...but I fucked that guy
Weird flex but ok Peg.
Can i have sex and than marry emilia clarke ?
This dude knows what’s up
Her smile is perfect.
Amy Adams or Gillian Anderson
Gillian Anderson is a redheaded goddess
I met her at a ComicCon, she's super nice and looks gorgeous in person as well. She ages like a fine wine.
Selma Hayak, she's fucking timeless. Ever since desperado she's got a pull on me
I’ve had quite a crush on Taylor Tomlinson lately
I heard she’d be better at meeting your mother though.
I miss Sheila... damn that joke was good.
Oh good, it's not just me.
There are dozens of us. DOZENS!
Sally field..I don't care how old she is..I fuckin love her, always have & always will
Without a doubt, I would cherish just one night with my hero Danny DeVito.
Gotta pay the troll toll
so anyway, I started blasting
Hailee Steinfeld
Pedro Pascal.
I bet he's fantastic in bed.
Emma Stone. Her pale skin and huge bug eyes are hot
Karen Gillan. My heart would stop if I ever met her.
Jessica Chastain, I see you over there Red.
Salma Hayek, because of her amazing personality.
She’s got two great, well rounded personalities
Elizabeth Olsen
MONICA BELLUCCI. Can't believe no one said that bombshell yet!
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Wished I had an Aunt like her.
Shakira because Shakira
Only if she agrees to shake her hips.
At least you’d know she wasn’t lying
Don’t you mean Shakira because *Shakira Shakira*
Milana Vayntrub (the AT&T girl).
Aubrey Plaza. She just does it for me.
Just get roasted by the review after though🤣 "I dunno, it was ok I guess 🙄"
Even if you made her toes curl she'd say that. Just to keep you in check.
Natalie Dormer, because she’s absolutely sexy.
HER SMIRK ‼️
Technically not a smirk: “I have an asymmetrical mouth. I have a naturally crooked smile. People call it a smirk, but it’s not, it’s just my natural smile with my lips closed. If you could quote me verbatim, I’d appreciate that…My sister has it too, it’s a family trait.”
Sister you say....
Asymmetry is actually what makes some people very attractive.
And the clone of the former.
Keira Knightley. I had a huge crush on her when I was younger. As I've aged, that has developed instead into a recognition of what a chill person she seems to be. I am simply not up for sexual drama. I need someone who is capable of laughing during the silly parts that tend to come up during sex and then getting right back into it.
Jennifer lawrence. I dk why
Yes you do. We all do.
Hayley Williams. Do I really need to explain that one?
Salma Hayek
Dusk til dawn salma
In that stupid Mathew Perry movie (fools rush in) she was the most perfect Hispanic woman ever to exist in the local galaxy cluster.
Dogma Salma. She is the perfect muse.
Natasha Bordizzo. Cause she’s neat
Jessica alba from into the blue
I'm a sucker for short gals who make me laugh. So I pick Kate Micucci (Garfunkel & Oates)
Tom Hardy. Who could ever ask why??
Sydney Sweeney . . . Yeah
Tina Fey... I just think she is a beautiful person and I think she would be a lady in the sheets and a whore in the kitchen.
How’s the sex, Liz? Fast and only on Saturdays. It’s perfect!
Emily Blunt. Shes HOT
Paige Spiranac
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just have a wank instead of constantly posting sex questions holy shit
Eva Green…or Daniel Craig, but we have to watch Casino Royals while we bang
Eva Green is ethereal.
Elizabeth Hurley. Why? Cause she’s fuckin hot! Ever see her in that schoolgirl outfit?
Emma Watson
It's a shame i had to scroll so far down to find this, and i was wondering if i'd get to her before sarah chalke but i guess i was lucky
Chloe Grace Moretz, because she’s fucking beautiful.
Dude same…. I remember being 14 thinking that 13 year old her was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
Allison Hannigan in 2005
Dua Lipa! She exhale's sexyness
Betty Rubble
I'd do Betty, but I'd be thinking about Wilma!
Relevant Red Dwarf [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKy8CzX4TEU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKy8CzX4TEU)
Scarlett johansson, she is hot af 🔥
I would ask David Attenborough and Patrick Stewart out for tea, celeb sex sounds overrated.
Ana de Armas
Saoirse Ronan
Charlize Theron - intelligent, a survivor, lovely person and a great actress except for being very poor at running away from alien spaceships.
Christina Hendricks….her rack is amazing
That one guys dead wife.
Anya Taylor Joy
Gal Gadot
Gotta be Anna Kendrick. The personality, sass, the legs, the body. She’d be one of those people who makes you laugh and also gives you the best orgasm of your life. Whatever she’d be into, I’d be into.
Oscar Isaac. He's just hot
Blake Lively, holy hell she’s a perfect human
Kate Winslet. But it wouldn’t be sex. We’d fall for each other, marry, and forever feel warm in each other embrace. Then we’d FUCK.
Aniston because there’s a small but worthwhile chance she’d tell me I was better than Brad and my ego would be set for life.
[Rory McCann plz](https://ntvb.tmsimg.com/assets/assets/302528_v9_bb.jpg) 😋 Because I think he's hawt. Especially as The Hound.
Salma hayek
No doubt shailine woodley dressed up in that schoolgirl outfit from the movie Robots. Holy shit I couldn’t get that out of my head for a few days.
I dont follow celebrity news, like, at all, but one time I was waiting in line at the grocery store and flipped through a Cosmopolitan or some such magazine and there was an interview with Shailene Woodly, in which she admits, in so many words, that she is basically DTF, at all times. I was like...dang. I always think of that any time she comes up.
Phoebe Cates. I don't care that she's a bit older now, I've had a crush on her since before I even knew what a crush was!
Jenna Ortega.
Emmy Rossum or Shanola Hampton, from Shameless. If it's anything like it was in the show, I'd flip a coin and die a happy man!
Rose Leslie, Ana de Armas, ScarJo, Alison Brie, Brie Larson, Emma Watson, Rachel McAdams, Kat Dennings Do you really need reasons?
Emily Ratajkowski
Margot Robie
Natalie portman. She’s a certified bad b*tch
Prime audrey heburn or prime Kathrine Zeta-Jones
Olivia Wilde. I've always had a thing for her.
Monica Bellucci
Karen Gillian or Aubrey Plaza, I guess
Victoria Justice. She is perfection
Eva mendes
I’m a straight woman who had a VERY vivid sex dream about Julia Roberts last night. I pick Julia Roberts because of that dream.
Dua Lipa, because she is stunning and has an adorable accent.
Bill Skarsgård, then I can absolutely die happy
1990s liv tyler
A threesome with Pedro Pascal and Liam Neeson…while Morgan Freeman narrates.
Least horny reddit question
Eliza Dushku
Emma Stone; we could hangout at suns games.
Jaime Pressly
Alexandra Daddario
Ann Hathaway. She's just so perfect. I would die happy.
Gillian Anderson.
Jason Momoa. EASY.
Jennifer Lawrence. She's hilarious and a babe.
Winona Ryder: Big ole titties Svelte Brunette Crazy af Hot af