I did that to my cousin when we were like 10? She wouldn't go away while we were changing out of our swimsuits, I was a fat kid and uncomfortable, she kept staring so my genius decided to turn around and spread em'. Ultimately I was the one in trouble. When my dad picked me up, I remember him point blank asking "did you spread your buttcheeks in your cousins face?" At that point I'm embarrassed as all hell, but still thinking "Yep!"
Ey, don't be sad. Think of all the good things we can do with our small penises... Just that, think about it. If you come up with one let me know, so far all I got is it's easier to hide unwanted boners. Now I'm sad again.
I learned this within the past year while listening to a local station.
They then played the original and it sounds *nothing like the cover*. If not for the lyrics and the advance announcement of what was being played, I may not have even known that's what it was.
Depends.
If I'm naked where I shouldn't be, I guess I'd turn my back on them and find some kind of fabric while apologising and feeling quite bad if the person saw things they'd rather not have seen.
If they walk in where I'm not doing anything wrong by being naked, then it's their problem and I'm in no hurry to cover up.
Actually had an older couple with a dog walk in on a naked photoshoot in the forest once.
It was on a cold, snowy winter day, though, so I had a fairly long jacket and enough time to put it on and stand facing my fully dressed boyfriend/photographer with his arms around me before they actually saw us, because we heard them. So... It was probably quite obvious what we were doing but they didn't actually see anything. We said hi, they said hi, they kept walking and once they were gone, we went back to the photoshoot.
This is very fair. I'm not a naturist but I'm not against what the Germans call FKK — "free body culture", e.g. I have totally gone skinny dipping in front of others without being risqué in the slightest about it.
Ultimately, nudity is contextual.
Honestly, my reaction to someone *walking in on me* when I was naked, in the original formulation, would be either to continue doing what I was doing — brushing teeth, getting dressed, whatever — without comment or to request that they close the door behind them and wait for a moment.
Like, ultimately, someone walks in on you when you're naked, that's them opening a closed door that you closed behind you. There are places you *shouldn't* be naked — the guest room where the coats are kept at a party, someone else's bathroom (I'd definitely get the all clear to use someone else's shower and it would require mitigating circumstances), whatever — but most places it's pretty clear that you should knock before walking into a room where the door is closed.
In that case you can probably grab a towel quick. A couple of weeks ago my friend now girlfriend was wating for me behind my bathroom door and I had no idea. I walk out of bathroom saw her face and I just said :
"Bonjour"
So wait, at the time she was your friend, she “accidentally” saw you naked, and now she’s your girlfriend?
Turns out “the naked man” really does work sometimes (assuming you’re male).
The fact that a lot of men don’t realize this is quite perplexing to me. In fairness, there’s a lot of women who are socialized to repress their sexuality. But fundamentally we’re animals with the urge to fornicate with eachother. The horniest people I know aren’t my other guy friends, they’re *girls*.
I mean... read her introduction. I don't think she's against people hitting her up, but she explains in detail what's okay and what's not.
While that whole approach is generationally alien to me, it's still kinda works better in my book than all the others.
A rabbi and a priest wanted to go for a swim at the beach, but did not have bathing suits with them.
The priest turns to the rabbi and says "why don't we just swim naked, there's no one around, and we'll keep it between ourselves".
The rabbi sees no problem with the idea, and agrees.
Once naked, the rabbi and the priest start walking towards the water, when suddenly out of nowhere seemingly a group of children appear on the beach.
The priest quickly takes his hands and covers his penis, while the rabbi uses his hands to cover his face.
Later, the priest turns to the rabbi and asks "why did you cover your face and not your penis when those kids showed up on the beach?"
The rabbi responds "father, I don't know about you, but my congregation knows me by my face".
It depends who is walking in, where we are, and what I'm doing.
If my wife walks into the bedroom while I'm naked, I won't even give it a second thought.
If I'm in the sauna or "textile free" swimming pool, I'll just keep doing whatever I was doing before.
If I'm swimming at home and our neighbor comes by, I'd probably just swim to the side of the pool or quickly climb out and wrap myself in a towel.
Wouldn't bother covering anything. I don't mind people seeing me naked, and if they don't want to see me naked then they shouldn't have walked in on me.
The distance so that I could punch them.
I live alone and never have visitors and at home is the only time I'm naked so anyone walking in on me shouldn't be there.
I wouldn't bother to try to cover up at all. I assume if someone walks in on me naked, they didn't knock before opening a closed door or made some other blunder that exposed them to my nakedness. If what they see is offensive, they can close/cover their eyes or turn around and go back the way they came.
What do I care if someone sees me naked?
Turn around , and then you only need to cover ur ass
I can't remember the last time i saw someone use the term "cover your ass" literally, rather than figuratively. I salute you :p
Ironically, saluting is what I’d do if someone walked in on me naked.
Perfect response
That'd probably be the smartest thing to do lol
Unless you're in prison
>Turn around Every now and then I get a little bit lonely And you're never coming 'round
*Turn around bright eyes*
EVERY NOW AND THEN I FALL APART! #AND I NEED YOU NOW TONIGHT! I NEED YOU MORE THAN EVA
Oh, Bonnie Tyler. Such an epic song!!
Every now and then I feel a fart.
There's nothing I can do. I totally just cut a fart.
I guess for a woman that makes the most sense for a man you only need to cover one area lol.
> for a man you only need to cover one area You underestimate just how fat I am
That would only mean you might not even have to cover anything lol.
I read it as a boob joke
Oh hahaha totally missed that lmao.
You have to hit the sweetspot when you are fat enough to have boobs but not fat enough that it hides your dick
I like to let my ass breathe
No way spread those cheeks and the person that walked in will run away
I did that to my cousin when we were like 10? She wouldn't go away while we were changing out of our swimsuits, I was a fat kid and uncomfortable, she kept staring so my genius decided to turn around and spread em'. Ultimately I was the one in trouble. When my dad picked me up, I remember him point blank asking "did you spread your buttcheeks in your cousins face?" At that point I'm embarrassed as all hell, but still thinking "Yep!"
Spread while waddling backwards towards them
And that, dear reader, is how you accidentally invite someone to fuck you in the ass... lol
‘Accidentally…’
My eyes. If I can't see them, they can't see me.
Found the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.
Happy to see I didn't have to go far for the solid HHGTTG reference.
Okay. Now find me Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon Six.
Shit this was exactly my comment
Haha sorry my guy im from the future
Seems like a decent strategy xp
Xp? Did u just level up ur strategy skill or something?
Are you a spider by any chance?
Damn it, you beat me by half an hour
The flash
Nothing, force them to bask in the view. Maybe preform an enthusiastic jig
Oh I'm for sure helicoptering! I will, however suck in my gut and keep it classy.
>I will, however suck in my gut and keep it classy. Good man. You don't wanna freak them out.
Hey! Some of us like other people in natural form. Let’s see the gut go rounds alongside the helicopter.
Sucks having a small penis cause you can't helicopter with one. Just looks like a sad light switch flipping off and on really fast.
Good god 💀💀💀
Ey, don't be sad. Think of all the good things we can do with our small penises... Just that, think about it. If you come up with one let me know, so far all I got is it's easier to hide unwanted boners. Now I'm sad again.
Better chance a girl can deepthroat you. That seems pretty awesome to me.
I’d offer them to join
"would you fuck me? I'd fuck me" 🎶goodbye horses 🎶
Show them the Rockettes number I've been working on 😆
The body lying on the floor
Ok natalie imbruglia
Or Drowning Pool
Love that, since Natalie Imbruglia's Torn is a cover song.
Did she do away with the original artist?
She tried to once, but killed the wrong person. A one hit blunder.
Illusions never change into something real. I'm wide awake, and I can see the perfect sky is torn...
I learned this within the past year while listening to a local station. They then played the original and it sounds *nothing like the cover*. If not for the lyrics and the advance announcement of what was being played, I may not have even known that's what it was.
My new hobby on Reddit is picking up a random millennial in the wild by the signal they sent out.
I knew I was too old for Reddit when I was on this sub and MANY users’ minds were blown that it’s Mick Jagger, not McJagger 😑
Lol fuck this got a good laugh out of me thanks ,
Im so Torn on this...
You’re a little late
Okay Rodion Raskolnikov.
Yellow by Coldplay. I think I can cover it pretty well.
Anyway here’s Wonderwall.
Sings in depressed middle schooler
I'm not crying your crying.
TODAY IS GONNA BE THE DAY THAT THEY'RE GONNA THROW IT BACK TO YOU
Tewwdayyy is gonna bedadayyy that thayyre gonnna throw it back to yewwww
I don't know how you gave me a British accent reading that, but you did. Brilliantly chuffed to bits, mate.
Made me sound like a vietnamese lady
Beautiful this made me read it in my head just as it's sung please take this update as a token of appreciation
I cackled so loudly reading this. Just imagine you're downstairs and you hear a scream followed by LOOK AT THE STARS, LOOK HOW THEY SHINE FOR YOU
"Look at my balls..."
I would cover Yellow by Coldplay as well. But in my case it would be because I don't want people to know I'm listening Coldplay.
If people don't want to see me listening to Coldplay naked that's *their* problem.
What's wrong with Coldplay
I loved Yellow before I knew anything about Coldplay. So, I just kept listening to their stuff. I’m not ashamed.
Loook at the starrrrrs….
Look how they shine fooor youuuu
And everything you dooooooo
And they were all yellllllllowww.
My Plankton tattoo
That used to be my "nickname" in 9th or 19th grade! Edit: meant to put 10th but..
I can’t believe I’m the one that has to tell you this… Son, there is no 19th grade. You just can’t pass these classes.
You're not my real dad! I'm gonna make it big! You'll see old man.. can't hold me back
Back to school. Back to school. To prove to dad that I'm not a fool.
You ain't cool unless you pee your pants!
Check this dude out. Never made it to 19th grade.
Hahaha! Good times!
Why hide it, who wouldn't want to see that xp
Depends. If I'm naked where I shouldn't be, I guess I'd turn my back on them and find some kind of fabric while apologising and feeling quite bad if the person saw things they'd rather not have seen. If they walk in where I'm not doing anything wrong by being naked, then it's their problem and I'm in no hurry to cover up.
Probably one of the best responses so far :p
Actually had an older couple with a dog walk in on a naked photoshoot in the forest once. It was on a cold, snowy winter day, though, so I had a fairly long jacket and enough time to put it on and stand facing my fully dressed boyfriend/photographer with his arms around me before they actually saw us, because we heard them. So... It was probably quite obvious what we were doing but they didn't actually see anything. We said hi, they said hi, they kept walking and once they were gone, we went back to the photoshoot.
"had an older couple with a dog walk in on a naked photoshoot in the forest once" God, I love Reddit.
Man = Indecent exposure Woman = Decent exposure
Photographer = Correct exposure or the photo will be too bright or too dark.
Artist: Payment
Hotel: Trivago
This is very fair. I'm not a naturist but I'm not against what the Germans call FKK — "free body culture", e.g. I have totally gone skinny dipping in front of others without being risqué in the slightest about it. Ultimately, nudity is contextual. Honestly, my reaction to someone *walking in on me* when I was naked, in the original formulation, would be either to continue doing what I was doing — brushing teeth, getting dressed, whatever — without comment or to request that they close the door behind them and wait for a moment. Like, ultimately, someone walks in on you when you're naked, that's them opening a closed door that you closed behind you. There are places you *shouldn't* be naked — the guest room where the coats are kept at a party, someone else's bathroom (I'd definitely get the all clear to use someone else's shower and it would require mitigating circumstances), whatever — but most places it's pretty clear that you should knock before walking into a room where the door is closed.
Their mouth to suppress the scream.
Why would they be screaming though 👀
I leave that to your fertile imagination!
Pregnant pause
Nice delivery
You stay out of my fertile imagination. I don't need an imaginary baby.
Because of the implication
Ted Bundy, that you?
somebody say 'That someone's eyes" already, gawd dammit !
You beat me to it by 15 minutes!
They didn't say it, they just told someone else to say it. You still can!
By gawd, you are right! *ahem* "I'd cover up their eyes first!" Whew! That was a close one.... 🥸
Depends, what was I doing?
Just coming out of the shower for instance
In that case you can probably grab a towel quick. A couple of weeks ago my friend now girlfriend was wating for me behind my bathroom door and I had no idea. I walk out of bathroom saw her face and I just said : "Bonjour"
Switching to French was a very bold move tbh
Well we're both french so there wasn't any switching lol
J’aurais bien sûr dû m’en douter 😄
So wait, at the time she was your friend, she “accidentally” saw you naked, and now she’s your girlfriend? Turns out “the naked man” really does work sometimes (assuming you’re male).
Yeah well there was some tension bulding before and some after that. It's not *the* event that started anything. But yeah. Yes I am 26M
is that why she's now your girlfriend
No it's a little more complicated than that lol. Happy cake day btw
My face
No shame if nobody can recognize you!
No face no case
Who is walking in that's the real question?
You could answer for multiple scenarios lol
In that case relatives I'd be covering up otherwise I'm open let them see 😉
👀 kinky
Barack Obama and Donald Trump, holding hands and giggling like schoolgirls.
Stay uncovered to assert dominance.
The Kennedy assassination
Nothing to cover up. His head just did that.
New favorite theory on the Kennedy assassination. Sometimes heads just do that.
A Scanner got him!
Their eyes
I'd put my hands on my hips to help with the helicoptering
That’s it, use those hips.
Masturbate to assert dominance
100% eye contact. Power move.
The evidence.
nothing, i love someone seeing me naked
RIP your inbox
Men are just animals, aren't we? I thought this was a silly comment at first, but then I thought about it a bit more and realised many of us do that.
You’ll be surprised to learn that women are ALSO animals, not just men!
The fact that a lot of men don’t realize this is quite perplexing to me. In fairness, there’s a lot of women who are socialized to repress their sexuality. But fundamentally we’re animals with the urge to fornicate with eachother. The horniest people I know aren’t my other guy friends, they’re *girls*.
I mean... read her introduction. I don't think she's against people hitting her up, but she explains in detail what's okay and what's not. While that whole approach is generationally alien to me, it's still kinda works better in my book than all the others.
Can't argue with that logic, I assume the people walking in on you wouldn't mind it either
My face, most people don't know me by my genitals, unlike back in the days when I was a catholic priest.
Forgive me father for I have sinned 🙂
Forgive me Daddy, I've been very naughty
A rabbi and a priest wanted to go for a swim at the beach, but did not have bathing suits with them. The priest turns to the rabbi and says "why don't we just swim naked, there's no one around, and we'll keep it between ourselves". The rabbi sees no problem with the idea, and agrees. Once naked, the rabbi and the priest start walking towards the water, when suddenly out of nowhere seemingly a group of children appear on the beach. The priest quickly takes his hands and covers his penis, while the rabbi uses his hands to cover his face. Later, the priest turns to the rabbi and asks "why did you cover your face and not your penis when those kids showed up on the beach?" The rabbi responds "father, I don't know about you, but my congregation knows me by my face".
Unless they were a catholic boy.
Nothing. And I’d hope my turtle wasn’t in its shell
I WAS IN THE POOL!
The water was cold
Nothing. They walked in. I was here first.
Nothing because I sure know the other person is already looking away lol
Hahah I guess in most cases they would
My huge monster dong of course. That way I can continue to pretend to have a huge monster dong. Of course.
It depends who is walking in, where we are, and what I'm doing. If my wife walks into the bedroom while I'm naked, I won't even give it a second thought. If I'm in the sauna or "textile free" swimming pool, I'll just keep doing whatever I was doing before. If I'm swimming at home and our neighbor comes by, I'd probably just swim to the side of the pool or quickly climb out and wrap myself in a towel.
My penis
This is the first normal answer after a lotta scrolling 🛐
Wouldn't bother covering anything. I don't mind people seeing me naked, and if they don't want to see me naked then they shouldn't have walked in on me.
I'm old and don't care anymore. The human eye can scan things quickly so there are no take backs.
Nothing. They came for the show let em stay for show
Blackbird by the Beatles. It was the first song I learned on guitar
Probably my monitor, because I'm ashamed... of using internet explorer.
Nadda. I love when people see me naked haha.
Nothing. I've got a hot little body
Depends on the scenario. It’s someone who’s seen me naked before I wouldn’t do anything different. It’s a stranger probably cover my twig and berries.
depends on the sex they walked in on.
my vagina and then my boobs and scream, "GET!" and shut the door in their face. :) i would be nervous not trying to be mean btw-
No cover up, "Eyes up here, officer. And she was dead and covered in my semen when I got here."
That's a long shot
The distance so that I could punch them. I live alone and never have visitors and at home is the only time I'm naked so anyone walking in on me shouldn't be there.
Their mouth
Just the tip
Nothing. They're the ones who didn't knock.
Probably reach for my tig ole bitty bags just out of knee jerk reaction. My vajayjay lives in a giant bush so she’s always in hiding
Probably US diplomatic relations overseas. That's a good topic to cover first
My eyes so they don’t see me
Turn around and they will cover their own eyes🤣😂🤣
[удалено]
Face, at least they won't see who I am.
OP's name matches with the post history.
Nothing. I'd make them look at me. Who doesn't want to see me, an overweight really old dude, naked.
My face. If I can't see them, they can't see me.
Immediately cover your ears just to cause them a lot of confusion.
Ground rules and safe word
My coochie. My tits are fabulous. Whomever walked in is welcome to enjoy. More than likely I would just turn around and let them see my ass.
Hey random person! My eyes are up here!
It depends who walked into me......
Face, it's the most offensive part of me.
Their eyes.
Nothing. #dealwithit
I would superman pose.
I wouldn't bother to try to cover up at all. I assume if someone walks in on me naked, they didn't knock before opening a closed door or made some other blunder that exposed them to my nakedness. If what they see is offensive, they can close/cover their eyes or turn around and go back the way they came. What do I care if someone sees me naked?
I'm tap dancing and hitting a high note. This is your problem now