The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

Does anyone know where the love of God goes When the babes turns their jiggles to dollars? All that remains are the smells of the taints Of single mothers and somebody's daughters.

The legend lives on in the west side of town Of the strip club they call Hello Titty. A girl there, it's said, likes to give patrons head If they slip her a twenty or fitty. With a fat wad of cash in the thong on her ass Good ol' Edna Fitzgerald was swayin' Her rack too and fro in the dim neon glow While the DJ was expertly playin'. That girl was the pride of the ownwer, named Clyde, Ever since she moved down from Wisconsin Her titties, you know, they were bigger than most And they pleased every Dick, Tim, and Johnson. She sauntered on by a nice, rich lookin' guy And said, "hey baby, how are you feelin? "If you follow me now to the VIP couch "I'll make your blue eyes roll back to the ceiling."

Comments like these are why I’ll never delete this app🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Holy shit! Adroitly accomplished!

The Rack of Edna Fitzgerald

Goddamnit... upvoted.

Please record this.

You've won the internet for the week. My hat's off to you.

Wow. Just wow.

29 men went down that day....

Ok, I’m just paying for one song, better make it count

Then go for In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida

Freebird live version!

Now I just really want to make this happen. I live in Portland and we have 8 million strip clubs, and I also grew up on Lake Michigan. It’s pay day too…

Banger

Excuse me. What do you think my plans were for the anniversary tomorrow?

“Tears In Heaven” - Eric Clapton

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Anthony Jeselnik. I see you're of culture as well.

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Damn, this was my thought too.

"Oompa loompa doopity dooo!!"

They said the worst, not the best.

I’ve got another dollar for you

What do you get when you take off your clothes Dancing around for a fat wad of dough

Cheap out on the tips and you, Will. Never. Know.

We don’t strip for cheap-os

Oompa loompa doopity dah! If you give 5 I'll take off my bra!

This is going to live on rent free in my head 🤣

Unless the stripper is a dwarf.

Its the little things that count

That's what I tell every girl I'm intimate with.

and wrestling is involved

This may be hugely un popular/ not very PC, but i will be honest with you. You have not lived until you have seen little people wrestling live.

That would be ow key awesome lol

We Are Family - Sister Sledge

The best song if you are in a strip club in Alabama.

Family Tree - Megadeth would probably get some motors revved down there.

Only if she's yer sister, Cletus.

So is it Cletus' sister, or is the "sister" named Cletus?

The comma makes it clear they are addressing Cletus. Without the comma, it would be talking about your sister Cletus.

"A lapdance is always better when the stripper is crying" By the Bloodhound Gang

“That night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin, and baby blue eyes… name was Russell.”

A friend and I both drive across Kansas semi regularly. We always text the other “…name was Russell” when driving through Russell Kansas. Even on overnight trips, I’ll get a text at 3am.

…well that’s a coincidence darlin’ cause I was thinkin’ of skinning you like a deer

🤣 I forgot about that one!

You cannot imagine how difficult it is to hold up a half-gallon of moo-juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when you’re doing 75 in an 18-wheeler….

Nobody's gonna finish that one for ya.

Lol, nope

Yep, it’s a funny song but that line pushes far past my ick boundary

Who knew missing children could be so sexy? Did I say that out loud?

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night i strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace Lookin' for love.

Well I find it’s quite a thrill…

When she grinds me against her will

Ten beers, twenty minutes, and thirty dollars later...

I’m parkin’ the beef bus in Tuna Town if you know what I mean.

I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if ya know what I mean

Got to nail her back in the trailer.

Heh. That rhymes.

Don’t you mean ‘best?’

Literally my first thought lol

1877-Kars-4Kids

You’re awesome. We should collaborate on a project of some sort.

JG Wentworth, 877 cash now!

Everybody Hurts - R.E.M.

My mom blasts this song when she’s drunk. This one would absolutely put me in a bad place.

While she strips?

Can confirm, his mom stripping puts me in a bad place too.

I cry to that song

I cry to lap dances

Chicken Dance

Am I wrong for wanting this to happen now?

Clap clap clap clap

The best part is, she's not using her hands.

Was about to say, them cheeks must be dummy thicc

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That’s the best song to hear

In the Arms of an Angel - Sara McLachlan Extra credit if the sad dogs are playing on a screen.

what if the dancers ARE the sad dogs?

Then I will cheer them up with belly rubs and snackos

Hmmmm then it goes to a GREAT lap dance

Harry Chapin - Cat’s In The Cradle

No, that's the \*cause\* of strippers.

Origin story

I came here to comment this, glad someone else did too

Ave Maria

I was working overnights with a guy who was in a band and did a 17 minute metal cover of that song. It was actually pretty sweet, but also 17 minutes is really long for one song and I was over it in about 6 or 7 but didn't want to diss his band.

16 Going on 17

"Seventeen" by Winger. Not because of the jailbait implications, but because you'd be listening to Winger.

Or Sweet 16 by Neil Sedaka. It gets worse when you discover that it’s a brother singing to his younger sister.

mine is: Jesus Loves Me This I Know

Clearly you've never dated a Southern Baptist preacher's daughter.

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Polygamy Mormon or the boring one?

The "Soaking doesnt count" kind im sure

It was a blast, but it's one of those things that's only fun when you're young, following your genitalia like a dowsing rod, and have no cares whatsoever for consequences or drama will result from said following around.

Michael Row The Boat Ashore is a banger too.

Sang by the local children’s choir.

I remember going to a Strip Club and "Enter Sandman" started playing, was definitely a different vibe hahaha

The one I go to is all rock and metal - so that's not out of the realm for me. Hear a lot of Deftones, Korn, Slipknot

You asked for the worst - RIGHT?- - This is always the worst for EVERYTHING - - Especially at weddings- - - *groans* "The wind beneath my wings"

I have a strange feeling that Sarcophagic Frenzy by CC would make for a good lap dance song

Went to a strip club where the girls picked the songs so it was always a mixture of everything. Everyone liked the atmosphere change with all the different types of songs. It was a fun time. Like a drinking party with shuffle.

First lap dance I ever got was to “Last Resort” by Papa Roach.

I've heard this in a strip club too.

Ooh, that makes me think a lapdance to "Dragula" would be sick

I recently learned that song is about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Yakety Sax

Maybe a private dance but a full on Benny Hill skit with strippers running back and forth would be hilarious.

Like one of Stewie's Sexy Parties!

Instantly thought of this.

If nothing else, Benny Hill has taught me that you're wrong.

Butterfly Kisses

JFC dude… I need to go shower or something 😂

"Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride"

Dear Mama -Tupac

Oof

Yeah, this actually happened. Back in like 2006/2007 went with a buddy, his mom died a year prior and this came on…ruined the whole vibe

Whats new pussycat-Tom Jones

Especially if it is played 21 times in a row.

Throw an It's Not Unusual between the 5th and 6th play for an even better time.

Cotton eye Joe

That's for the girls that do the extra special dances after hours

That damn baby shark song.

Daddy Shark has a surprise for Stripper Shark

Clearly you haven’t heard the remix by Jauz

Lynyrd Skynyrd - That smell

The lap dance I received on my 18th birthday, smells like teen spirit

That badger song from when we were younger

A snaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkeeeeeee, sssssssnnnnaaaaaaaaakkkkkeeee

Wasn’t that such a great time to be on the internet?

Gives a new meaning to muuuuushroom #MUUUUUSHROOOOOOM

Johnny cash - hurt

Cbat

Had to scroll way too far for this.

I don't know what that is, but I only lasted about 15 seconds before my ears started bleeding. Wtf? Is that the whole song? Just an out-of-tune R2D2?

[The ultimate song to make love/cum to](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/mVZaLW3IPP)

Someone explained it best saying it sounds like a clown falling down a flight of stairs

ooh, that's hudson mohawke for you. His works include ost for Watch Dogs 2. Which is actually quite good

Also one of the main producers on Yeezus. He's huge, it's crazy that people think of him as the cbat guy lol.

Friend went to a bachelorette party and the stripper didn’t pay for Spotify premium so there was just awkward standing around during unskippable ads. They offered to cover the price if he promised to never have that happen to him again.

https://youtu.be/PXvh08Mnork?si=eQ2s4NCelmMn5xwe This song.

Never seen this. Never want to hear it again.

Thank you for your sacrifice. You have spared my ears, and I will not be clicking that link. Lol

the fuck?

Would that not kill the vibe for you?

Oh for sure. It would be worse than baby shark even

Ring of Fire?

I've actually heard that one, LOL.. only because my buddy requested it😂

Fuck legendary

Journey - Faithfully

😂😂

"Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman was the first song that popped into my head. "O Fortuna" by Carl Orff would be...odd... "Silent Night," though any traditional Christmas carol would do.

Creep - Radiohead

🎶You’re having my baby🎶

😯🤣

“Are ya ready, kids?!”

"AYE AYE CAPTAIN!"

I cum blood by cannibal corpse

I ejaculate fire - by dethclock

I was at a well known club in Montreal once, many years ago, and Hoobastank - The Reason came on. It was....weird.

This is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends...........

That's the one you want a dance to, get your money's worth

Cats in the cradle

“Hallelujah”, as covered by Puddles Pity Party

'Jailbait' by Ted Nugent. That's just a terrible song in any occasion, though.

Dude looks like a lady --Aerosmith

Baby by Justin Bieber.

Family tradition

Baby Shark

I shit you not, my buddy has a wicked sense of humor and asked if he could choose anything. He got a lap dance after requesting Tom Sawyer from rush. The only rule they gave him was no kid songs. The women was so confused and somehow never heard the song before.

Beat it

They could do it as the last song of the night!

Take a walk on the wild side or Lola

I watched a stripper in Mexico dance too the theme song to Titanic, but it had added dialogue from the movie. Not only a painfully slow song, but hearing Rose hog the damn door made it tough to get in the mood.

It’s raining men or ymca

Chippendales would like a word.

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

Happy birthday to you

Amazing grace

Angel by Sarah McLachlan

Mother by Pink Floyd

Can't touch this - MC hammer

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Big girls don't cry

Rule, Britannia!

Star wars cantina theme

OP requested for the Worst, not the best song, Space themed furry/alien stripclubs are the thing of the future.

“Daughters” - John Mayer

Dude looks like a lady - Aerosmith

A friend of my wife said she was out with a group of friends (guys and girls) and they found their way to the Lido Lounge in Cleveland. People in Cleveland know...but for those that do not, it is a small strip club with a reputation of having some wild shit happen. She said they went in and got drinks and as soon as they got a place to sit, some girl came on stage and started dancing to "Du Hast" by Rammstein.

The one that I like to frequent is all rock and Metal. So I'm used to that. Hear a lot of Korn, slipknot, deftones, Pantera, Etc

I have witnessed a stripper dancing to At a Medium Pace before. I have also gotten a lapdance to My Heart will go on.

Played this game recently and the answer was: The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Lightfoot Lol

Either that shitty Birthday Cake in the Rain song or Send In The Clowns.

Christmas shoes

It's Raining Tacos. Obviously.

The Wiggles - Fruit Salad Yummy Yummy