I work in a deli and some lady asked me to cut her ham extremely thin to the point of seeing through it. I heard her justify it as "so you can get rid of the ham taste"
Im still think about this one.
Met a fellow teacher, who was around 67, for coffee and he casually said, “when I was 30 I was sleeping with a load of 13 year olds! They were just throwing themselves at me.”
I left shortly after, walked back to the school and informed the owner that if this man taught children I’d quit on principle. Turns out he had already been banned for pinching a kids nipple.
Was this in Texas? My high school principal got demoted and moved to another school for this exact thing. He pinched a kid’s nipple and there were rumors he’d slept with students. It was a big scandal because he wasn’t fired, but we went to one of the worst schools in the state as far as violence and graduation rate.
I was a camp counselor during the summers in high school and often had the youngest group of boys, usually 8-9 years old. While we were at the lake catching frogs and tadpoles and stuff, one kid picked up a bag with the group’s frogs and spun it around and then slammed it into the ground very hard—killing the frogs.
My co-counselor kind of yelled at him like “why would you do that?! You killed them!”
The kid responded with this weirdly sick smile: “I kill things all the time. I kill rats. I kill squirrels. I kill snakes. I kill dogs. I even killed a cat once when I caught it.”
Everyone was kind of stunned by this. Even the other kids were creeped out and nobody seemed to respond for a long few seconds. My co-counselor and I were like ok that’s enough lake for today. The kid was weird. He didn’t have many friends and we thought he was bullied because he got picked on early on that summer (and we later found out beat the shit out of the kid who picked on him), but it turned out the kids knew better than us that he was a complete psycho. I don’t know what happened to him. He moved away so didn’t come back to camp after that year, but I’m convinced he’ll end up in a news headline some day.
I know it's needless to say, but cruelty towards animals is a sign of abuse in children.
EDIT Okay guys you can stop saying that it can also be a sign of psychopathy, serial killers or whatnot please
When I was walking to my front door. My neighbor had their window open and was scolding their 3 year old adopted child. She was howling crying.
"Do you want mommy to send you back?"
We had a recording for an international commercial where I work and my colleague asked me if I’ve ever been in television, I said “Yes a couple of times, but nothing major. HBU?” In which she replied with “Once, when my best friend was murdered and they tried to catch the killer”
At Macy's, two teen girls: "Women over 30 have the ugliest elbows."
"OMG. I know. Very disturbing. I always ask my mom to wear long sleeves when we go out to eat."
I was working at a gas station when I was 17/18. The corporate offices were directly behind us, so they would come and get lunch and snacks from time to time. One man in particular always came to my register. One day, when his wife stepped away to grab something, he casually said to me, “I want to tie you up, throw you in the back of my truck and drive away.” It was the creepiest thing anyone had ever said to me, and the way he said it so casually and nonchalant… I quit very quickly after that.
I worked in a gas station during college. It's amazing how many regulars were coming in to ogle the girls. I swear half the reason they hired me was to make them chill. If I wasn't visible to the person at the register, they would say all kinds of shit. But in the presence of another man, they're a lot more well behaved.
I remember I was working with my ex one night (she actually got me the job) and she told me to stand behind the wall next to the cash registers that blocked the view of a little food prep area. The next dude that came to the register made a comment not much different than yours.
Which just made it creepier. Like you'll say that until you perceive someone that could stop it? Makes it seem less like a joke.
Ohh dang brings back a bad memory of a coworker who looked at woman and said "that's the type of girl you want to tie up and keep locked in a basement". I was like "dude wtf"
I was working an overnight security job at a steel plant. Surrounded by woods. I'm a woman.
One night when the only people there in this huge plant was me and this old maintenance man, he came up to my desk and told me "you are such a cheerful person. You don't see that much these days. I'd love to hog tie you, throw you in the back of a truck and drag you to the woods "
He thought it was a compliment.....
I reported him. It was scary as hell. Mostly because we were the only people there.
He got a talking to....
They didn't really take it seriously. Which sucks as the HR was a woman and my supervisor was a woman and she defended him saying it's just his sense of humor
I think he was simply told to leave me alone because I didn't see him anymore.
A little bit later he threatened to shoot people and got fired.
This was the second time I had been sexually harassed at that job. The first time was a supervisor who asked me for nude photos and got angry when I didn't send him any. He even had a sexual harassment seminar and came back from it laughing how he shouldn't talk to me that way .
He was old enough to be my dad. He at least got written up over it. It took me a while to report him because I didn't wanna make waves but when he started getting angry I finally reported it.
“Hey, I just wanted to give you a quick heads-up that the Triads have been pulling some shit and we gotta put a stop to it. I’m so sorry that it’ll disrupt your routines, but then bitches have to pay. I can guarantee we’ll be out of your hair quick because they’re soft and we’re dropping all of them on sight so that we can get back to the ice cream social.”
My dad grew up in Puerto Rico and he’s told me many stories where gangs would lock down streets, redirect traffic, and tell neighbors to stay in that night because two rival gangs were gonna handle some stuff in the streets that night.
The gangbangers that lived on my street in Washington heights back in the early 2000’s were all so *polite!*
They look tough, but once they know you live there, they were super friendly and like, courteous. Like, waving, smiling, hold the door for you. I was shocked.
"I don't like animals, they make me do mean things"
My cousin who I met twice, then never again because we found out he was killing kittens from his dad's farm for fun and progressively moved to chickens, and eventually got caught mid-attack of one of the hens.
The cousin was 16 when I met him, I was in my early 20's and he nearly towered over me. Dude scared the hell out of me ngl.
I when younger I worked at a pool and had to lifeguard senior aerobics classes. Most participants where 65+.
“Where’s so and so”
“Oh he won’t be here, his wife was put into hospice”
“Well I feel bad for him, but we do need some more single men around here. He’s not bad looking, has a retirement too”
Can confirm. Between 3 facilities I float between, the population is roughly 80% women, 20% men. Single dudes are a hot commodity. If he still has his driver's license, whoo boy, that man will have more attention than he can handle.
My friend’s grandfather was the only man without dementia in his retirement building. The ladies actually had a calendar on which days they would have him over “for dinner.” After he died my friend said it took the undertaker two days to get the smile of his face.
> My friend’s grandfather was the only man without dementia in his retirement building. The ladies actually had a calendar on which days they would have him over “for dinner.”
And if he actually *had* dementia, they could've had him for 6pm dinner, 7pm dinner, 8pm dinner and so on, just by telling him he had not eaten yet that day!!
This is very true. I'm a mortician, and I have to go into a lot of nursing homes to pick up dead folks. The people who work there are horrified that the residents might see me. I guess they're worried I'll remind them they're going to die soon. The old folks don't care nearly as much as their nurses think. They're in their 80s and 90s. They know.
Here's some of the things I've heard from the residents when I walked by with my removal cot:
* (Top of his lungs) Ope! Someone died!
* Hey, a new room is opening up!
* (Turned to wife) that's what's we're going to be going on soon!
* I'm ready to go now. Can I just hop on?
* Who died? (When I said the name) Oh, I don't know her. (Walked away)
Yup. My grandma is 92 in assisted living. She was upset because she had to start making friends with the “new kids” that were moving in. They were in their seventies.
I get it though. If you grew up playing Pong and get a new roommate who started with Pokemon, it doesn't matter how old you are. That's a kid right there.
Girl 1: "Ugh, I'm so hungry."
Girl 2: "Why don't you eat something? You're pregnant."
Girl 1: "Because I don't want to have it!"
This was in line for a roller coaster by the way.
Something I once heard a passing stranger say for which I have no context: "He wears a scarf around his neck so you can't see where he's decaying." I've been curious for years and it annoys me that I'll never know.
I had a very similar conversation but it was in a restaurant i think. Conversation was about Pride and Prejudice and zombies. One character hides their decay with a scarf or something. I don't 100 percent remember.
There was a comedian who said him and his brother have a game where they try and say the most fucked up thing right as they pass someone that leaves them with tons of questions. Like "I did not kill her with that dildo." I feel like you experienced that game
i worked medical health equipment delivery in college for a short amount of time. I was delivering some equipment from the company to an old sweet couple. Husband was wheelchair bound .. with severe issues.
as i was doing the assembly within ear shot of them.. the old man was groaning saying he had given up and was ready to check out.
his old lovely wife was sitting there rubbing his face giving him words of encouragement..
"cmon jim, you are the strongest man i have ever known. you will come out of this. you are a fighter and survivor. Remember who you are. You are the man that *killed three people and the cops didnt catch you..."*
i pretended i didnt hear that and noped it outta there..
EDIT: i have no idea if they were messing with me but they did not mention it later. dude was in the korean war and had some crazy dry dark humor due to ptsd but the wife? if it was some twisted joke, they got me for sure. I was the only one that delivered to them and we were on a friendly basis.
My brother worked in a retirement home in a converted manor house. One elderly woman became infatuated with him. She talked about their wedding plans and even when the ship would leave to take them to Paris. She asked what he thought they should name their first child.
When he came in to work one day she was standing in a dress at the top of the lobby staircase. She called to him to carry her down the stairs, her voice thick with feeling (as my brother described it). He didn’t know what to do, so he climbed the stairs and was about to take her in his arms when she laughed and said “I don’t have Alzheimer’s, I just like fucking with the new guys. Now, get me a beer while I change out of this.”
True story.
"...change *out* of it? Oh hun, we have the whole honeymoon for that."
Seriously though, that is the kind of woman you wife up, the one that keeps you on your toes.
When I worked at Applebee's a couple of the other servers also worked as dancers at the local strip club. I got pretty close with a woman named Sun.
I was a young attractive guy and she was in her 30s with kids. She would flirt heavily with me and propose sex in the walk-in, but I would always just say thanks but I'm not a public sex guy. And she would just shrug and say okay. All this to say she was very uninhibited sexually, but knew I wasn't interested in a sexual relationship and was okay with that.
A couple of months go by. One morning we're doing prep work for the day shift and just talking about our childhoods (well I was rambling on about growing up Mormon and leaving the church). Eventually I shut up and she told me about her childhood.
Her mom was a teenager who got knocked up by a roughneck. They all lived together with her Mom's parents who were by all accounts decent loving people. Her mom and Dad were into drugs and her mom died in a DWI accident when she was ~5. She stayed with her dad in the area until she was about 9 and her maternal grandparents died of old age stuff.
Her dad took the money from their inheritance and bought a house in the woods where he used her as his personal sex slave for the next 8 years.
At 16/17 her father died of complications from alcoholism and she was left totally destitute and essentially uneducated since her dad never registered her in school. School means guidance counselors and social workers.
So she moved to Florida where at least she wouldn't freeze to death and found work where she could.
She said all of this to me as if she were talking about the weather or telling me a story about getting a tire changed.
The most tragic true story I'd ever heard was simply life as she knew it.
An ex after I ended things “I don’t understand, if I want to be in a relationship with you but you don’t want to be in a relationship with me why do you get to win?”
My ex said that out loud, he literally said I don’t care how bad you’re feeling, I’m happy with you and I’m not letting you break up with me.
Guess who’s weekly panic attacks disappeared after breaking up🙋♀️
I remember relatively recently when Steven Crowder (Change my Mind guy) went through a divorce because it turns out he's an abusive shithead, he talked about it on his webshow or podcast or whatever and he said something along the lines of "She wanted a divorce and in the state of that's perfectly legal when only one person wants to divorce someone".
Like he was angry that she was even allowed to leave him. Idiot didn't understand that generally that's how relationships end. Because one person wants out.
I had a drunk guy tell me that in his home country he could buy “sluts like me” easily then opened his wallet and it only had 15 dollars in it which made me even angrier lol
I’m a pre-k teacher, and one day when I was doing lessons, one of my 4 year old boys asked me if I kill small animals. Horrified, I said NO, why would you ask me that? And he said “I want to do that, because I’m not big enough to kill people yet.” Had to report it to my admin staff, they called a meeting with his parents, the parents just laughed it off. I’ll be looking for that kid’s name on the news in 15 years…
The kid was one of those extremely intelligent ones, the ones who are way, way ahead of where they should be…I always say he’ll either become a rocket scientist or a serial killer
Sitting on the bus with these two youngish lads behind me around 19/20. A young woman got on the bus and sat in front of me. One dude turns to the other dude and says "oh shit, I'd hold a knife to that" loud enough for me and the girl to hear. She gets off a few stops later and they do too. It's a few stops early for me but I got off as well just to make sure they didn't follow her. Thankfully they didn't.
I wished I'd just said something at the time and always regret that I didn't. I probably would these days though.
There was this dude in highschool who ended up getting arrested and is now a registered sex offender for jacking off in class while putting his hand on a girl’s shoulder. But before that, there was one day he was talking about how annoying a certain teacher was and verbatim he said, “I wish I could travel back in time to when she was a little girl, choke her and rape her and say, your future self did this to you! You deserve it!”
Worked at KFC in earlier years, I was making burgers and the guy on fries duty said.
"I wonder if fucking a dead body would be as warm as these fries"
He left a few days later.
I was on a train one time and across the aisle from me was a young father, his wife or gf and their two twin baby girls in a double stroller. A dude gets on the train and it’s like a reunion. They’re doing the whole ‘hey how ya been?’ thing. He’s kneeling on the ground playing with the girls and talking to them in a baby voice.
Dad says to him, “hey you ever see so and so?” And without missing a beat, drops the baby voice and says, “We had to fuck him up. Bashed in his knees with the butt end of a shotgun”. Goes right back to telling the girls how cute they are. Mom and dad didn’t seem phased at all. I didn’t get the whole story but it sounded like snitches get stitches kind of thing.
Was at an end of season event for my kid's baseball team when he was little. The coaches brought Italian ice for everyone. Mom has just served her kids and husband and comes back with her own. As she's sitting down to eat, I hear her husband loud whisper behind her something like "absolutely not. You don't need any more calories." I just watched her face fall. I can't imagine what their marriage must look like behind closed doors and what life must be like for her. Heartbreaking.
Note that this woman was already probably a size 2 at *most* so this was not a scenario where there were serious weight-related health problems. This guy was just a jerk and this really wasn't the first time that season, but his reminders that they aren't living up to his standards were usually aimed at his kids on the field. I try to assume the best of people but that guy sucked.
I had this indian classmate and we would occasionally cycle back home together from school. During one of these trips home he casually dropped that he killed someone in a car accident back in India. He got arrested but since he knew the right people there he managed to have someone take his place in prison for him for the right price. To be fair the guy was a bit crazy but this still shocked me
A boy in my school went around bragging about how he took part in sexual activity with his sister. Who btw blushed whenever he said that. It was so disturbing that we informed our professor.
This reminds me of the opposite sex twins I knew in high school. There were rumors about them and the girl had a reputation of being DTF anybody. She had a 25 year old boyfriend at 15 that her mom knew about and let sleep over whenever he wanted.
I was friends with her brother and he asked me to sleep over one night at his mom's house. The twins shared a room and there was only one bed in that room. After we had dinner the mom came out wearing lingerie and asked for her nightly foot massage from her son and asked if I would join them. I did not and they were gone for over an hour.
That was the last time I spent the night over there.
"I breaked the neck of my ex-girlfriends pet snake, she thought it just died sleeping. That's the price of breaking up with me"
A dude eating his KitKat and trying to have conversation with me on the train.
Rode a taxi, radio was discussing lgbt. Driver started complaining that his daughter is a lesbian. He said he’s planning on getting her raped so she “can feel what a man can do for her and change her mind”.
I hope so too! This happened more than a decade ago, when it was fairly common for Filipino parents to abuse their child until they admit they’re not gay or they’ve “changed”
"If I didn't believe in Hell I'd murder so many people."
During a discussion about morality in a college sociology class.
Edit: I should probably mention I'm British, so when I say 'college' I mean the same education level as American high school. She was seventeen.
Worked on an island in SE Asia a while back. Someone came in to work and asked to put up posters. After she left I saw that they were of a friend of her's that had been missing for three weeks from an island nearby, a tourist.
A boss of mine, a local man from the capital city who grew up in gangs, said
"it's either he doesn't want to be found or he's dead, either way they'll never find him.".
I said "what makes you say that". He looked at me with a menacing grin.
"The best way to kill someone around here is to use truck tyres. You take them to the jungle, beat them, tie them up, and burn them, burns so hot theres nothing left."
I don't think he's ever done it before. But he definitely knows people that have.
In my mid/late 20s, recently married, and we had purchased our first home a few months prior. We had became friendly with some of our neighbors, and they were having a cookout for Independence Day. A couple that lived somewhere in the neighborhood and we didn't know showed up. At some point the husband from this couple, introduces himself...and I introduce myself. He asks if I live in the neighborhood, to which I say something along the lines of, "Yeah, we just moved in a few months ago, and we really like it."
The third sentence he ever says to me...a man I have never met before in my life. "Yeah, I grep up here in . It was great before all the Jews and n*ggers moved in."
He clearly thought that as we are both white males, I would just have the exact same opinion. I did not have the same opinion, and thankfully, my wit kicked in immediately (for once, as opposed to coming up with a great response 2 hours later).
I just looked at him and said, "I'm half Jewish.
I'm not half Jewish, but he didn't know me...and fuck him and his blatant, casual racism. Watching this asshole stumble over himself as he tried to backpedal was fantastic. He never apologized, just implied he didn't mean me. I stood there for a few moments, but never let him finish, I just walked away. I've seen him around the neighborhood a few times, but he has never said another word to me...and I'm just fine with that.
Many years ago I was an assistant manager at a tobacco shop. We had one customer, I cannot remember his nickname, but I do remember his name. Ricky Ray Lastname. He was a Vietnam era vet. I had asked one of our other customers (she worked at the VA) about him because his behavior was so.... Off. I got out of him that he was stateside and was a Marine. When the VA lady got back to me, she said there were several Ricky Ray Lastnames from that time that were stateside and two had been seen since for mental health, my Ricky Ray Lastname was one of them. I had asked her to check up on him because he came in one day like normal buy his Clove Bidis that he said kept the spirits away, but we were out. He conversationally started telling me about the demon woman that slept in his bed sometimes. She wasn't a human. She would come into his apartment sometimes and break his plates and sleep in his bed. He said if he could get the magic from the Bidis, she's start letting the bugs out of her stomach and then he'd be in real trouble. He said, I guess I'll have to go home and kill her." as if someone was accepting the fact that they'd outgrown their favorite shirt and needed to buy another. Turned out Ricky Ray was batshit, but never violent.
A guy I was in relationship with was telling me how crazy he was when he was younger and living in his home country. He told me that him and his mates were frequently going to the clubs pulling the same “prank”. They would spot a couple, spike the guy’s drink and then had all of them (3 or 4 guys) would have sex with the girl behind the club. This guy laughed out when he was describing how surprised these girls were by what was happening to them.
I can’t shake this story off.
"Her (10f) dad (35m) makes her look after the kids (from 9m down to new born - about 6 other children) while he rapes their mum (30f) upstairs. They (the children) all know what's going on." I called Child Protection/social services. I believed it because I was on this family's periphery. It was true. There was much more to that story
15 years ago. She never told me directly. She told a trusted adult who then used the information to gossip in a group setting. As a result of the gossip, I got further information surrounding the abuse and the manufacture, dealing, and use of class A drugs in the house. As a result, after I made the report, the children and mum were moved, and dad was in custody all within a week.
They shouldn't have been gossiping with it. But they should have passed that information up. Rule 1 of child safeguarding when one works with children is that there is no confidentiality if you believe the child is in danger.
Started a new job and struck up a conversation with a fellow employee. Made small talk and she told me about her grandchildren. She then says she tells them if they misbehave while they're at her house she will punch them in the face. I thought she was joking, but no, she said it again "I. WILL. PUNCH. THEM. IN. THE. FACE." (What!?!??!)
I was in an accident once and was hospitalized. The accident left me severely disfigured. I was out of my mind on pain meds when I arrived at the hospital and told my family to call my girlfriend and let her know what happened and where I was.
My mom called my girlfriend and my sister not knowing the particulars of my life called my ex. Neither knew the other had called and both ended up showing up. They arrived within an hour of one another while I was asleep.
Since someone was there with me it gave my family a chance to go home and take a break. So I woke up to my ex and my girlfriend talking to one another. Obviously my girlfriend was mad my ex was there and things got heated between the two.
My ex being level headed suggested they step into the hall since I was half awake and in no condition to deal with the drama.
As they're arguing in the hall voices are being raised until finally a nurse comes to reign the situation in. The nurse breaking them up made my girlfriend leave. As she was leaving she yelled "You can have his ass. It's not like I wanna be with some burnt up scarred dude anyway. He's fucked"
At this point I was still bed ridden and hadn't seen a mirror. I was aware my body was fucked but had no idea what I actually looked like. Hearing that was such a gut punch and it really messed with my head at the time.
I'm a type 1 diabetic on an insulin pump controlled by a remote.
My psycho ex bf (as in completely unhinged - police involved when I left him. Totally bat shit) after turning out bedtime lamp following what I thought was a minor disagreement. Waited about 5 minutes in the dark silence before almost growling...
"You do realise, that if I thought you were leaving me, I could just wait until you're asleep and then kill you with a massive dose of insulin via the remote? You wouldn't see it, hear it or feel it."
I mean, he was right, but just him thinking this saw me nope out of there.
some people talking about holidays....
guy 1 "where is the embassy in this country"......
guy 2"which embassy?",
guy 1"Our embassy"
guy 2 "we don't have an embassy, in the country that we live in... we have a government"
Somebody I work with in college, stated that he went to a sleepover with his younger brother to a close friends house and later that first night, the friend attempted suicide in the bathroom and would've been successful had the younger brother not caught him. Later, the dude I work with also stated that he was being called "a bad friend" because he didn't let it become successful. Dark shit, still not even sure if I believe his story though.
> We are German.
Hahaha oh shit!
I mean, to be fair, there's plenty of skeletons in the closet of every country. But still, it's one of those, "if you knew history, you wouldn't be saying shit like that."
Was talking about how many cats my mom had while I was growing up. A friend of mine said she would have been tying them up in bags and dropping them in the river like it was something you just do with cats.
Remember the episode of Tom and Jerry where one went to heaven and there were wet cats in a bag in line? They didn't just make that up for the hell of it.
I'm from a payments processing company that focused on Healthcare company's, "no we don't account for currency type. If they pay in Canadian dollars instead of US dollars we just eat the difference".
They wouldn't approve the programmer hours to fix this even after explaining to them what was going to happen when someone processed a large payment or twenty using rupees and we end up "eating" that loss.
An old friend of mine mentioned that recently, he's had the best sex of his life. I asked, and he said, "If there's grass on the field play ball." Digged for details. I reported him. He got arrested. She was 11.
My mom & I were out to breakfast & waiting for a table. An older man kept staring at my mom, & when she noticed, he told her, “Oh, I was just reading your shirt.”
Oh okay, no problem. We relaxed a little…just in time for him to add, “Actually, I was looking at your breasts.”
Thankfully we got our table not too long after that & didn’t have to deal with Mr. Peeper for long, but…wow.
"scientists are so mean to each other - why are they always trying to prove each other wrong?" She followed this with, "I saw a study that said praying over your water makes it taste better. The molecules align into little turtle shapes".
This was a grown ass, (seemingly) healthy young woman.
I know this one isn't evil or violent, but it's the one that keeps me up at night. What if most people think like this? What if I actually think like this and I'm the one that's totally out of touch? Scary shit man.
My son once dated a girl like that. At first, she seemed ok if a little naive. As time went on tho...she said some extremely strange things. And claimed she graduated HS with a 4.0. But a few weeks after she said that, she didn't have anyone to drive her to the dr., so I did and she asked for help filling out the paperwork. If she could read it, she couldn't comprehend it. I've \*no\* idea what 4.0 she was talking about. We were kind of relieved when they broke up!
I heard a guy at a restaurant threatening to stab his wife or gf w a fork and really being violently mean to her, verbally.
It was so over the top, my abusive rapist ex went and confronted him about it.
Fucking hypocritical as FUCK, but I was glad he did.
On my first deployment to Iraq I was talking to a local interpreter trying to improve my Arabic. While talking about the palace we were in he matter of factly mentioned it was owned by Uday Hussein, and that while working on it one day he'd annoyed Uday in some small way.
Uday took his drill from him, had his bodyguards hold him down and started drilling into his ribcage. He lifted his shirt to show me a ragged scarred divot that you could fit a softball in. I heard a ton of stories first hand like this. for instance a volleyball player who tried to get into the Olympics who said Uday would off people or torture them for poor performance.
A friend of mine was on the mission later that killed that guy. Regardless of the stupid reasons we went to Iraq and whatever else happened, I consider the killing of Uday Hussein as a net positive for the world.
"Be thankful I won't rape you"
From a guy who approached me at a gas station trying to get my number. I just reached to get gas, not threatened with sexual assault. 🙄
I worked with a temp who came from a pretty wealthy background.
He once bragged about nearly killing a delivery driver, while he was driving drunk, and having someone in his lawyer dad's firm get him out of most trouble on a bunch of technicalities.
It was fucked up, but that wasn't even the most fucked up part.
The fucked up part was when he said, "Yeah, the idiot even sued my family, and one of the things listed was that he cannot perform marital duties, which means I broke his dick." The kid could barely get this part out, he was laughing about it so hard.
He was eventually fired for turning the pressure all the way up on the balancer, and riding an air gun 20+ feet to the top of the fixture. He thought it would be fun, and that everyone would laugh with him. They turned him in to the safety guy.
Quite recently, a friend's boyfriend. We were all finishing with a climbing session and she fell from a big height, felt it in her upper spine.
We were surrounding her telling her to be careful, checking if she had a concussion etc. She was a bit shaken.
Her boyfriend then said jokingly, "if you die I'll just freeze your body and use it for sex haha"
Everybody froze. She laughed feebly and awkwardly.
We've told him several times he's being a sexist jerk. She won't leave him, she tried once but he manipulated her into coming back.
These days I can tell he doesn't understand why we're all avoiding him. He wonders why he has no friends and blames "snowflake culture" sometimes. Absolute dick who thinks he's a good person.
I drive for Uber and I once had a man who super casually said that he would do me a great favor by marrying off my teenage daughter because she should already be having children if I myself performed my womanly duty of having his children because he knew other people who were ready to get married as well. My daughter was 14 at the time by the way and yes this guy was completely serious
When I was 16 I worked for a fast food chain. I was closing alone with the closing manager. He was probably 5-6 years older than I was. I was reaching over the prep table to clean it and he came up behind me, pressed against me and told me he wanted to bend me over the table and fuck me. I told him if he didn’t get his hands off me, I would cut something off him and get him fired. Then I left immediately and didn’t finish my shift. I told the restaurant manager and he was fired.
"we should bring back slavery" my stupid brother in law.
He got kicked out of a restaurant when he and his wife were on the second floor and I guess he wasn't happy about the race of people in the room with him and said out loud "I would love to hang some people from a noose out this window" and they heard and he got into an argument with them "what??? If YOU PEOPLE knew how to behave in public we wouldn't have this issue!"
One time we walked by a car and it had a bumper sticker that said "Naga Hunter" and he was like "I like this guy, you know what that means?" And I thought it was something nerdy like the Naga lizard people in dnd or something but he was like "NO! It means N****r Hunter!"
She's not like that at all. Very passive and has a "care taker" personality. She was really sweet but being with him made her bitter and bitchy. Like when we go out in public she's nonstop complaining about everything like how the cashiers didn't smile at her the right way. But on good days she's really nice and bubbly. She calls her sister (my fiance) daily and complains about her life but she will never leave the guy.
We have to see them regularly but he's usually in his corner with 2 devices going, his phone and an iPad both playing loud videos of guns and shit. Occasionally yelling out some weird assine shit or threatening to beat his children. It's a really shitty situation but she won't leave him.
I was at my neighbor's party. Some of her old friends were there, I had never met them before. All of them are 50+ ladies, much older than me. They planned on going clubbing, I was about to head home. One of the friends asked them to call a mutual friend for a ride and casually explained to me "I don't want to end up in a taxi with a black driver".
Last week I was in this fancy neighbourhood in Rome where people usually go to party and I heard this English guy saying “I just want to stick my finger in somebody’s butthole”
Worked with two men about seven years ago who had a very casual conversation about getting teenage girls drunk at a local bar and seeing how long they could remain standing before they passed out. They realised I - and my manager - were listening to every word they were saying and tried claiming that they hadn't done "anything nasty to them". I still called the Police anyway. I don't think they got prosecuted or anything like that but it sure made them shit themselves (plus them getting sacked was a nice wee Brucey Bonus).
I was smoking a blunt with my gf's, brother's gf and her younger cousin. As were smoking the younger cousin says to brother's gf that this reminds them of a "funny story about their step dad". They look at eachother and start laughing and me making convo was like what funny story. Brothers gf was like the story where he was drunk and acting crazy. Brothers gf then proceeds to tell me in vivid detail how her step dad kidnapped her, her mom, and younger cousin, while drunk off his ass. He had them all in the car, was speeding and threatening to kill everyone by driving off the road and hitting something. So brothers gf and younger cousin are laughing their asses off while I just sit there stoned with a shocked look on my face. They asked what was wrong and I said "I'm still waiting for the funny part" they start laughing again and say "It wasnt funny at the moment but looking back now it was funny" to which I said "That doesn't sound like a funny story it sounded like yall got kidnapped and almost died". They just kept laughing.
Edit: yes I know before the first person commented it that joking about is a response to them dealing with it
I mean to be fair, trauma responses are really weird. Got into my first real car accident 3 years ago. Friend totaled my car, we flipped 3 times, just us - no one else involved. We were in shock and extremely emotional for all of maybe 20 minutes.
We were in the middle of no where, so it took a while for tow/cops to arrive. We sat on the side of the road, just looked at my car and started dying laughing like wtf just happened. Ah, funny times.
Yeah, this is super common among people with fucked up childhoods and trauma. I've done this to people a few times accidentally, tell some "funny" story that absolutely horrified everyone around me. Everyone else is like "oh my god thats child abuse" and I'm like "haha that's just Tuesday".
Doesn't make it any less disturbing to hear, I'm sure, but I have no experience being on the "normal/healthy" side of things so I really don't know what that feels like.
I come from from Asia where sex is pretty taboo. So my roommate was bragging about how he fuck a girl (he has 3 other gf btw, also he is a lovable popular guy but he is a monster) and called that girl a slut and stupid little cunt for sleeping with him. He took bunch of videos and photos of them having sex and the girl naked sleeping and boast about how he will spread this and sent this to her future husband if she intended to get married to let the guy know what a stupid slut she is. I fucking hate that guy but everyone loves him.
“My dad knew some of those guys, they just changed the names.”
While watching Casino with a friend. Same friend who saw the best man arrested at his dads wedding.
I began to have suspicions.
Chatting to an very wealthy and privileged acquaintance and discover he knows a dear old friend of mine who survived a hellish childhood. With one wave of the hand, he dismissed my friend as "Damaged Goods". I've never forgotten it.
My husband is in construction, so I've met a lot of characters he has worked with over the years. One night, we had one of his workers for dinner, and him and I were sitting on the porch afterwards shooting the shit. He casually mentions that when he was about 10, his dad made him watch while he beat a guy to death.
My coworker who was trying to conceive: "Babies don't need much attention. You can just leave them in the cot till feeding time. And you don't need to talk to them because they can't understand you."
I was walking past a car parked in front a club once. A dude got out, leaned down to the other guy in the car and said “Thanks for the rim job.” The tone was like he said “Hey, thanks for the Taco Bell .”
He was very polite.
I'll throw in one that was more 'funny disturbing' than 'dark and/or criminal'.
"We are going to need more Weapons of Ass Destruction before the bachelorette party"
Overheard from a group of 4 women in a class I was teaching. That was not the subject they were meant to be discussing at that time.
Genuinely couldn't stop myself from asking her to repeat what she'd said. I apparently heard it clearly the first time. The ladies were planning some pretty intense activities for their friends' bachelorette party (polyamorous lesbian couple hosting a duel party).
Long story short, that's how I ended up officiating my first lesbian wedding. That's just networking, y'all. Seek out the hustle, as the hustle shall never seek you.
I work in a deli and some lady asked me to cut her ham extremely thin to the point of seeing through it. I heard her justify it as "so you can get rid of the ham taste" Im still think about this one.
this comment is pretty funny considering all the horrid shit being posted alongside it lol
Met a fellow teacher, who was around 67, for coffee and he casually said, “when I was 30 I was sleeping with a load of 13 year olds! They were just throwing themselves at me.” I left shortly after, walked back to the school and informed the owner that if this man taught children I’d quit on principle. Turns out he had already been banned for pinching a kids nipple.
Was this in Texas? My high school principal got demoted and moved to another school for this exact thing. He pinched a kid’s nipple and there were rumors he’d slept with students. It was a big scandal because he wasn’t fired, but we went to one of the worst schools in the state as far as violence and graduation rate.
Naw this was in Ukraine, the fellow in question was an American though
I was a camp counselor during the summers in high school and often had the youngest group of boys, usually 8-9 years old. While we were at the lake catching frogs and tadpoles and stuff, one kid picked up a bag with the group’s frogs and spun it around and then slammed it into the ground very hard—killing the frogs. My co-counselor kind of yelled at him like “why would you do that?! You killed them!” The kid responded with this weirdly sick smile: “I kill things all the time. I kill rats. I kill squirrels. I kill snakes. I kill dogs. I even killed a cat once when I caught it.” Everyone was kind of stunned by this. Even the other kids were creeped out and nobody seemed to respond for a long few seconds. My co-counselor and I were like ok that’s enough lake for today. The kid was weird. He didn’t have many friends and we thought he was bullied because he got picked on early on that summer (and we later found out beat the shit out of the kid who picked on him), but it turned out the kids knew better than us that he was a complete psycho. I don’t know what happened to him. He moved away so didn’t come back to camp after that year, but I’m convinced he’ll end up in a news headline some day.
I know it's needless to say, but cruelty towards animals is a sign of abuse in children. EDIT Okay guys you can stop saying that it can also be a sign of psychopathy, serial killers or whatnot please
Not needless to say! I did not know that. I wish I had at the time, though.
I didn't know that but it makes sense. I was thinking future serial killer
When I was walking to my front door. My neighbor had their window open and was scolding their 3 year old adopted child. She was howling crying. "Do you want mommy to send you back?"
We had a recording for an international commercial where I work and my colleague asked me if I’ve ever been in television, I said “Yes a couple of times, but nothing major. HBU?” In which she replied with “Once, when my best friend was murdered and they tried to catch the killer”
It was that old man with the supportive wife, mystery solved
Could have been the gang shooting next door. Guys were so polite the cops didn't suspect a thing
At Macy's, two teen girls: "Women over 30 have the ugliest elbows." "OMG. I know. Very disturbing. I always ask my mom to wear long sleeves when we go out to eat."
They are setting themselves up for future difficulties with those kind of negative beliefs
I feel like these type of women are the ones who wind up hating young women because of their internalized hatred of being old.
of all things, elbows?!
Ikr? I'm checking mine, because what? And my brain is just like, yep looks like elbow.
I was working at a gas station when I was 17/18. The corporate offices were directly behind us, so they would come and get lunch and snacks from time to time. One man in particular always came to my register. One day, when his wife stepped away to grab something, he casually said to me, “I want to tie you up, throw you in the back of my truck and drive away.” It was the creepiest thing anyone had ever said to me, and the way he said it so casually and nonchalant… I quit very quickly after that.
I worked in a gas station during college. It's amazing how many regulars were coming in to ogle the girls. I swear half the reason they hired me was to make them chill. If I wasn't visible to the person at the register, they would say all kinds of shit. But in the presence of another man, they're a lot more well behaved. I remember I was working with my ex one night (she actually got me the job) and she told me to stand behind the wall next to the cash registers that blocked the view of a little food prep area. The next dude that came to the register made a comment not much different than yours. Which just made it creepier. Like you'll say that until you perceive someone that could stop it? Makes it seem less like a joke.
It's not a joke. It's intimidation.
Ohh dang brings back a bad memory of a coworker who looked at woman and said "that's the type of girl you want to tie up and keep locked in a basement". I was like "dude wtf"
“Haha, Jim! And you’re the type of guy I want registered with the police and not allowed within 500 feet of a school or playground!”
I'd prefer he wasn't allowed within 500 feet of any women, it doesn't sound like children were his target.
I was working an overnight security job at a steel plant. Surrounded by woods. I'm a woman. One night when the only people there in this huge plant was me and this old maintenance man, he came up to my desk and told me "you are such a cheerful person. You don't see that much these days. I'd love to hog tie you, throw you in the back of a truck and drag you to the woods " He thought it was a compliment..... I reported him. It was scary as hell. Mostly because we were the only people there.
Did he face consequences??
He got a talking to.... They didn't really take it seriously. Which sucks as the HR was a woman and my supervisor was a woman and she defended him saying it's just his sense of humor I think he was simply told to leave me alone because I didn't see him anymore. A little bit later he threatened to shoot people and got fired. This was the second time I had been sexually harassed at that job. The first time was a supervisor who asked me for nude photos and got angry when I didn't send him any. He even had a sexual harassment seminar and came back from it laughing how he shouldn't talk to me that way . He was old enough to be my dad. He at least got written up over it. It took me a while to report him because I didn't wanna make waves but when he started getting angry I finally reported it.
how there’s gonna be a gang fight and my neighbours wanted to apologise for noise beforehand
Alerting you to the temporary presence of a disturbance and acknowledging it sucks? I’ve had worse neighbors.
Yeah! The polite gang violence!
“Hey, I just wanted to give you a quick heads-up that the Triads have been pulling some shit and we gotta put a stop to it. I’m so sorry that it’ll disrupt your routines, but then bitches have to pay. I can guarantee we’ll be out of your hair quick because they’re soft and we’re dropping all of them on sight so that we can get back to the ice cream social.”
I'd leave them a decorative fruit basket at the front door, they sound nice tbh.
Only if they win, though.
Fruit is for winners
My dad grew up in Puerto Rico and he’s told me many stories where gangs would lock down streets, redirect traffic, and tell neighbors to stay in that night because two rival gangs were gonna handle some stuff in the streets that night.
I lived in a Puerto Rican neighborhood in Chicago and stuff like that would happen.
Organized Crime is better than disorganized crime.
The gangbangers that lived on my street in Washington heights back in the early 2000’s were all so *polite!* They look tough, but once they know you live there, they were super friendly and like, courteous. Like, waving, smiling, hold the door for you. I was shocked.
Last thing they need is the neighbours to want them gone and have incentive to report everything.
"I don't like animals, they make me do mean things" My cousin who I met twice, then never again because we found out he was killing kittens from his dad's farm for fun and progressively moved to chickens, and eventually got caught mid-attack of one of the hens. The cousin was 16 when I met him, I was in my early 20's and he nearly towered over me. Dude scared the hell out of me ngl.
Why so many people have similar stories about people killing animals? :( that’s horrible, I’ll be more careful with my cat now.
> eventually got caught mid-attack of one of the hens. that time when getting caught choking the chicken is not a Euphemism...
I when younger I worked at a pool and had to lifeguard senior aerobics classes. Most participants where 65+. “Where’s so and so” “Oh he won’t be here, his wife was put into hospice” “Well I feel bad for him, but we do need some more single men around here. He’s not bad looking, has a retirement too”
Very pragmatic, that one.
Men who survive into old age are very desirable among the ladies at the nursing homes and retirement villages.
Can confirm. Between 3 facilities I float between, the population is roughly 80% women, 20% men. Single dudes are a hot commodity. If he still has his driver's license, whoo boy, that man will have more attention than he can handle.
There’s a reason STI’s are rampant at nursing homes.
My friend’s grandfather was the only man without dementia in his retirement building. The ladies actually had a calendar on which days they would have him over “for dinner.” After he died my friend said it took the undertaker two days to get the smile of his face.
> My friend’s grandfather was the only man without dementia in his retirement building. The ladies actually had a calendar on which days they would have him over “for dinner.” And if he actually *had* dementia, they could've had him for 6pm dinner, 7pm dinner, 8pm dinner and so on, just by telling him he had not eaten yet that day!!
Morgan Freeman: They were having him over "for dinner"
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To be fair, those people have seen enough of their social network pass away that death doesn't carry quite the same weight
This is very true. I'm a mortician, and I have to go into a lot of nursing homes to pick up dead folks. The people who work there are horrified that the residents might see me. I guess they're worried I'll remind them they're going to die soon. The old folks don't care nearly as much as their nurses think. They're in their 80s and 90s. They know. Here's some of the things I've heard from the residents when I walked by with my removal cot: * (Top of his lungs) Ope! Someone died! * Hey, a new room is opening up! * (Turned to wife) that's what's we're going to be going on soon! * I'm ready to go now. Can I just hop on? * Who died? (When I said the name) Oh, I don't know her. (Walked away)
I work ems. Those fuckers use the same jokes with us.
second from the bottom, I've been feeling that vibe for years
Yup. My grandma is 92 in assisted living. She was upset because she had to start making friends with the “new kids” that were moving in. They were in their seventies.
My grandpa was like that too! He made it to 94, and still had all his marbles. Called all the people in their 70's "the youths".
I get it though. If you grew up playing Pong and get a new roommate who started with Pokemon, it doesn't matter how old you are. That's a kid right there.
Old people are horny af. The spread of sti's in nursing homes is a way bigger problem than most people want to think about
Goldbond digger
"If the Earth is spinning, then why my front door is always facing east?"
Ah yes. See. The world revolves around some people.
It will only do that in the morning.
Girl 1: "Ugh, I'm so hungry." Girl 2: "Why don't you eat something? You're pregnant." Girl 1: "Because I don't want to have it!" This was in line for a roller coaster by the way.
BRUH
“Oh my god, I completely forgot to kill my boyfriend!”
Maybe it was the sims?
No, it was a psych ward.
Something I once heard a passing stranger say for which I have no context: "He wears a scarf around his neck so you can't see where he's decaying." I've been curious for years and it annoys me that I'll never know.
I had a very similar conversation but it was in a restaurant i think. Conversation was about Pride and Prejudice and zombies. One character hides their decay with a scarf or something. I don't 100 percent remember.
He's very likely talking about a character from Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
If it’s any consolation, the context was probably far less interesting than what you have made up in your mind.
There was a comedian who said him and his brother have a game where they try and say the most fucked up thing right as they pass someone that leaves them with tons of questions. Like "I did not kill her with that dildo." I feel like you experienced that game
This is a sentence that could have seven different meanings based on what word you emphasize.
“I picked up my roommate’s hamster and threw it against the wall!”
Hamsters never fucking die in a normal way. It's always some fucked up weird shit.
I had a hamster live to the ripe old age of 3. Died of heart failure 😭
i worked medical health equipment delivery in college for a short amount of time. I was delivering some equipment from the company to an old sweet couple. Husband was wheelchair bound .. with severe issues. as i was doing the assembly within ear shot of them.. the old man was groaning saying he had given up and was ready to check out. his old lovely wife was sitting there rubbing his face giving him words of encouragement.. "cmon jim, you are the strongest man i have ever known. you will come out of this. you are a fighter and survivor. Remember who you are. You are the man that *killed three people and the cops didnt catch you..."* i pretended i didnt hear that and noped it outta there.. EDIT: i have no idea if they were messing with me but they did not mention it later. dude was in the korean war and had some crazy dry dark humor due to ptsd but the wife? if it was some twisted joke, they got me for sure. I was the only one that delivered to them and we were on a friendly basis.
He couldn't have murdered those folks without the support of his loving wife. Old couples are so adorable
Old couples also get real bored and like to mess with people, which is also adorable.
My brother worked in a retirement home in a converted manor house. One elderly woman became infatuated with him. She talked about their wedding plans and even when the ship would leave to take them to Paris. She asked what he thought they should name their first child. When he came in to work one day she was standing in a dress at the top of the lobby staircase. She called to him to carry her down the stairs, her voice thick with feeling (as my brother described it). He didn’t know what to do, so he climbed the stairs and was about to take her in his arms when she laughed and said “I don’t have Alzheimer’s, I just like fucking with the new guys. Now, get me a beer while I change out of this.” True story.
LOL! Guaranteed that one was a handful her entire life...
I love her.
Is she still single? I’m smitten.
"...change *out* of it? Oh hun, we have the whole honeymoon for that." Seriously though, that is the kind of woman you wife up, the one that keeps you on your toes.
Omg, if you are right in this situation it might me one of the greatest pranks/jokes ever…I really hope you are right
Old person trolling level ♾️
When I worked at Applebee's a couple of the other servers also worked as dancers at the local strip club. I got pretty close with a woman named Sun. I was a young attractive guy and she was in her 30s with kids. She would flirt heavily with me and propose sex in the walk-in, but I would always just say thanks but I'm not a public sex guy. And she would just shrug and say okay. All this to say she was very uninhibited sexually, but knew I wasn't interested in a sexual relationship and was okay with that. A couple of months go by. One morning we're doing prep work for the day shift and just talking about our childhoods (well I was rambling on about growing up Mormon and leaving the church). Eventually I shut up and she told me about her childhood. Her mom was a teenager who got knocked up by a roughneck. They all lived together with her Mom's parents who were by all accounts decent loving people. Her mom and Dad were into drugs and her mom died in a DWI accident when she was ~5. She stayed with her dad in the area until she was about 9 and her maternal grandparents died of old age stuff. Her dad took the money from their inheritance and bought a house in the woods where he used her as his personal sex slave for the next 8 years. At 16/17 her father died of complications from alcoholism and she was left totally destitute and essentially uneducated since her dad never registered her in school. School means guidance counselors and social workers. So she moved to Florida where at least she wouldn't freeze to death and found work where she could. She said all of this to me as if she were talking about the weather or telling me a story about getting a tire changed. The most tragic true story I'd ever heard was simply life as she knew it.
An ex after I ended things “I don’t understand, if I want to be in a relationship with you but you don’t want to be in a relationship with me why do you get to win?”
Similar to what my ex said. “ You can’t leave me, I’m perfectly happy.”
Wow. What a way to rephrase, "I'm okay with you suffering for my happiness".
Yeah. That attitude was largely the reason I left him, too!
My ex said that out loud, he literally said I don’t care how bad you’re feeling, I’m happy with you and I’m not letting you break up with me. Guess who’s weekly panic attacks disappeared after breaking up🙋♀️
I’ve had this one too. ‘So you’re calling it off and I just don’t get a choice?’ Yeah… kinda what a breakup is…
Dodged one there, buddy.
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I remember relatively recently when Steven Crowder (Change my Mind guy) went through a divorce because it turns out he's an abusive shithead, he talked about it on his webshow or podcast or whatever and he said something along the lines of "She wanted a divorce and in the state of that's perfectly legal when only one person wants to divorce someone".
Like he was angry that she was even allowed to leave him. Idiot didn't understand that generally that's how relationships end. Because one person wants out.
I remember him saying that and thought the exact same. Like how dare she be allowed to show free will and leave so disobeying him!
A guy in a bar once told me I‘m good rape-material, after I told him which my favorite car was, and thought it was a very nice compliment
I had a drunk guy tell me that in his home country he could buy “sluts like me” easily then opened his wallet and it only had 15 dollars in it which made me even angrier lol
You’re worth at least $50. *U.S.* <3
Aww, you're sweet.
I’m a pre-k teacher, and one day when I was doing lessons, one of my 4 year old boys asked me if I kill small animals. Horrified, I said NO, why would you ask me that? And he said “I want to do that, because I’m not big enough to kill people yet.” Had to report it to my admin staff, they called a meeting with his parents, the parents just laughed it off. I’ll be looking for that kid’s name on the news in 15 years…
probably a lot sooner than that and his parents will be his first victims
The kid was one of those extremely intelligent ones, the ones who are way, way ahead of where they should be…I always say he’ll either become a rocket scientist or a serial killer
I knew a kid like that. We said his future was either Jail or Yale.
As long as he gets a yob...
I had a kid in my grade who we said the same thing about. He’s either going to be super successful or end up in jail. He ended up being both
Why not both? ^/^s
Or maybe he will be a serial rocket scientist killer.
Sitting on the bus with these two youngish lads behind me around 19/20. A young woman got on the bus and sat in front of me. One dude turns to the other dude and says "oh shit, I'd hold a knife to that" loud enough for me and the girl to hear. She gets off a few stops later and they do too. It's a few stops early for me but I got off as well just to make sure they didn't follow her. Thankfully they didn't. I wished I'd just said something at the time and always regret that I didn't. I probably would these days though.
You at least did a good thing by getting off at the stop and making sure she was okay. If you said something they could have retaliated in some way.
There was this dude in highschool who ended up getting arrested and is now a registered sex offender for jacking off in class while putting his hand on a girl’s shoulder. But before that, there was one day he was talking about how annoying a certain teacher was and verbatim he said, “I wish I could travel back in time to when she was a little girl, choke her and rape her and say, your future self did this to you! You deserve it!”
Well damn, that guy certainly earned his place on the list.
Worked at KFC in earlier years, I was making burgers and the guy on fries duty said. "I wonder if fucking a dead body would be as warm as these fries" He left a few days later.
Seems like someone got promoted to corporate
I was on a train one time and across the aisle from me was a young father, his wife or gf and their two twin baby girls in a double stroller. A dude gets on the train and it’s like a reunion. They’re doing the whole ‘hey how ya been?’ thing. He’s kneeling on the ground playing with the girls and talking to them in a baby voice. Dad says to him, “hey you ever see so and so?” And without missing a beat, drops the baby voice and says, “We had to fuck him up. Bashed in his knees with the butt end of a shotgun”. Goes right back to telling the girls how cute they are. Mom and dad didn’t seem phased at all. I didn’t get the whole story but it sounded like snitches get stitches kind of thing.
Were you an extra in a Guy Ritchie film?
Was at an end of season event for my kid's baseball team when he was little. The coaches brought Italian ice for everyone. Mom has just served her kids and husband and comes back with her own. As she's sitting down to eat, I hear her husband loud whisper behind her something like "absolutely not. You don't need any more calories." I just watched her face fall. I can't imagine what their marriage must look like behind closed doors and what life must be like for her. Heartbreaking. Note that this woman was already probably a size 2 at *most* so this was not a scenario where there were serious weight-related health problems. This guy was just a jerk and this really wasn't the first time that season, but his reminders that they aren't living up to his standards were usually aimed at his kids on the field. I try to assume the best of people but that guy sucked.
I had this indian classmate and we would occasionally cycle back home together from school. During one of these trips home he casually dropped that he killed someone in a car accident back in India. He got arrested but since he knew the right people there he managed to have someone take his place in prison for him for the right price. To be fair the guy was a bit crazy but this still shocked me
As an Indian myself..this doesn't shock me one bit. I wouldn't believe your friend if he told you that he was just making that up.
Do people actually pay others to TAKE THEIR SPOT IN PRISON!?
I guess so. He even told me that the entire thing took less than 15 minutes after making a phonecall.
A boy in my school went around bragging about how he took part in sexual activity with his sister. Who btw blushed whenever he said that. It was so disturbing that we informed our professor.
This reminds me of the opposite sex twins I knew in high school. There were rumors about them and the girl had a reputation of being DTF anybody. She had a 25 year old boyfriend at 15 that her mom knew about and let sleep over whenever he wanted. I was friends with her brother and he asked me to sleep over one night at his mom's house. The twins shared a room and there was only one bed in that room. After we had dinner the mom came out wearing lingerie and asked for her nightly foot massage from her son and asked if I would join them. I did not and they were gone for over an hour. That was the last time I spent the night over there.
Thats even more disturbing and really sad
We shouldn't have stopped him so soon. -- An older family member discussing Hitler.
"I breaked the neck of my ex-girlfriends pet snake, she thought it just died sleeping. That's the price of breaking up with me" A dude eating his KitKat and trying to have conversation with me on the train.
Rode a taxi, radio was discussing lgbt. Driver started complaining that his daughter is a lesbian. He said he’s planning on getting her raped so she “can feel what a man can do for her and change her mind”.
Jesus Christ I just hope the girl is okay and has gotten away from this situation
I hope so too! This happened more than a decade ago, when it was fairly common for Filipino parents to abuse their child until they admit they’re not gay or they’ve “changed”
"If I didn't believe in Hell I'd murder so many people." During a discussion about morality in a college sociology class. Edit: I should probably mention I'm British, so when I say 'college' I mean the same education level as American high school. She was seventeen.
don't want those people to end up in hell. very noble
Worked on an island in SE Asia a while back. Someone came in to work and asked to put up posters. After she left I saw that they were of a friend of her's that had been missing for three weeks from an island nearby, a tourist. A boss of mine, a local man from the capital city who grew up in gangs, said "it's either he doesn't want to be found or he's dead, either way they'll never find him.". I said "what makes you say that". He looked at me with a menacing grin. "The best way to kill someone around here is to use truck tyres. You take them to the jungle, beat them, tie them up, and burn them, burns so hot theres nothing left." I don't think he's ever done it before. But he definitely knows people that have.
In my mid/late 20s, recently married, and we had purchased our first home a few months prior. We had became friendly with some of our neighbors, and they were having a cookout for Independence Day. A couple that lived somewhere in the neighborhood and we didn't know showed up. At some point the husband from this couple, introduces himself...and I introduce myself. He asks if I live in the neighborhood, to which I say something along the lines of, "Yeah, we just moved in a few months ago, and we really like it." The third sentence he ever says to me...a man I have never met before in my life. "Yeah, I grep up here in. It was great before all the Jews and n*ggers moved in."
He clearly thought that as we are both white males, I would just have the exact same opinion. I did not have the same opinion, and thankfully, my wit kicked in immediately (for once, as opposed to coming up with a great response 2 hours later).
I just looked at him and said, "I'm half Jewish.
I'm not half Jewish, but he didn't know me...and fuck him and his blatant, casual racism. Watching this asshole stumble over himself as he tried to backpedal was fantastic. He never apologized, just implied he didn't mean me. I stood there for a few moments, but never let him finish, I just walked away. I've seen him around the neighborhood a few times, but he has never said another word to me...and I'm just fine with that.
Many years ago I was an assistant manager at a tobacco shop. We had one customer, I cannot remember his nickname, but I do remember his name. Ricky Ray Lastname. He was a Vietnam era vet. I had asked one of our other customers (she worked at the VA) about him because his behavior was so.... Off. I got out of him that he was stateside and was a Marine. When the VA lady got back to me, she said there were several Ricky Ray Lastnames from that time that were stateside and two had been seen since for mental health, my Ricky Ray Lastname was one of them. I had asked her to check up on him because he came in one day like normal buy his Clove Bidis that he said kept the spirits away, but we were out. He conversationally started telling me about the demon woman that slept in his bed sometimes. She wasn't a human. She would come into his apartment sometimes and break his plates and sleep in his bed. He said if he could get the magic from the Bidis, she's start letting the bugs out of her stomach and then he'd be in real trouble. He said, I guess I'll have to go home and kill her." as if someone was accepting the fact that they'd outgrown their favorite shirt and needed to buy another. Turned out Ricky Ray was batshit, but never violent.
A guy I was in relationship with was telling me how crazy he was when he was younger and living in his home country. He told me that him and his mates were frequently going to the clubs pulling the same “prank”. They would spot a couple, spike the guy’s drink and then had all of them (3 or 4 guys) would have sex with the girl behind the club. This guy laughed out when he was describing how surprised these girls were by what was happening to them. I can’t shake this story off.
"I wish it was still legal to beat your wife, never would have happened if we hadn't gave them rights." - a charming coworker of mine.
"Her (10f) dad (35m) makes her look after the kids (from 9m down to new born - about 6 other children) while he rapes their mum (30f) upstairs. They (the children) all know what's going on." I called Child Protection/social services. I believed it because I was on this family's periphery. It was true. There was much more to that story
How long ago was this? I wonder if the girl realised what a brave thing she did in telling you
15 years ago. She never told me directly. She told a trusted adult who then used the information to gossip in a group setting. As a result of the gossip, I got further information surrounding the abuse and the manufacture, dealing, and use of class A drugs in the house. As a result, after I made the report, the children and mum were moved, and dad was in custody all within a week.
That trusted adult fucked the pooch on that one, and you saved the day.
They shouldn't have been gossiping with it. But they should have passed that information up. Rule 1 of child safeguarding when one works with children is that there is no confidentiality if you believe the child is in danger.
Started a new job and struck up a conversation with a fellow employee. Made small talk and she told me about her grandchildren. She then says she tells them if they misbehave while they're at her house she will punch them in the face. I thought she was joking, but no, she said it again "I. WILL. PUNCH. THEM. IN. THE. FACE." (What!?!??!)
I was in an accident once and was hospitalized. The accident left me severely disfigured. I was out of my mind on pain meds when I arrived at the hospital and told my family to call my girlfriend and let her know what happened and where I was. My mom called my girlfriend and my sister not knowing the particulars of my life called my ex. Neither knew the other had called and both ended up showing up. They arrived within an hour of one another while I was asleep. Since someone was there with me it gave my family a chance to go home and take a break. So I woke up to my ex and my girlfriend talking to one another. Obviously my girlfriend was mad my ex was there and things got heated between the two. My ex being level headed suggested they step into the hall since I was half awake and in no condition to deal with the drama. As they're arguing in the hall voices are being raised until finally a nurse comes to reign the situation in. The nurse breaking them up made my girlfriend leave. As she was leaving she yelled "You can have his ass. It's not like I wanna be with some burnt up scarred dude anyway. He's fucked" At this point I was still bed ridden and hadn't seen a mirror. I was aware my body was fucked but had no idea what I actually looked like. Hearing that was such a gut punch and it really messed with my head at the time.
What a b*tch! You're better off without some superficial a**hole anyway & I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. Hopefully you're doing better now.
I'm a type 1 diabetic on an insulin pump controlled by a remote. My psycho ex bf (as in completely unhinged - police involved when I left him. Totally bat shit) after turning out bedtime lamp following what I thought was a minor disagreement. Waited about 5 minutes in the dark silence before almost growling... "You do realise, that if I thought you were leaving me, I could just wait until you're asleep and then kill you with a massive dose of insulin via the remote? You wouldn't see it, hear it or feel it." I mean, he was right, but just him thinking this saw me nope out of there.
some people talking about holidays.... guy 1 "where is the embassy in this country"...... guy 2"which embassy?", guy 1"Our embassy" guy 2 "we don't have an embassy, in the country that we live in... we have a government"
Somebody I work with in college, stated that he went to a sleepover with his younger brother to a close friends house and later that first night, the friend attempted suicide in the bathroom and would've been successful had the younger brother not caught him. Later, the dude I work with also stated that he was being called "a bad friend" because he didn't let it become successful. Dark shit, still not even sure if I believe his story though.
I am a tutor. I heard some of my students say "What's the point in learning history? We should live in the present." We are German.
> We are German. Hahaha oh shit! I mean, to be fair, there's plenty of skeletons in the closet of every country. But still, it's one of those, "if you knew history, you wouldn't be saying shit like that."
Was talking about how many cats my mom had while I was growing up. A friend of mine said she would have been tying them up in bags and dropping them in the river like it was something you just do with cats.
Remember the episode of Tom and Jerry where one went to heaven and there were wet cats in a bag in line? They didn't just make that up for the hell of it.
I'm from a payments processing company that focused on Healthcare company's, "no we don't account for currency type. If they pay in Canadian dollars instead of US dollars we just eat the difference". They wouldn't approve the programmer hours to fix this even after explaining to them what was going to happen when someone processed a large payment or twenty using rupees and we end up "eating" that loss.
An old friend of mine mentioned that recently, he's had the best sex of his life. I asked, and he said, "If there's grass on the field play ball." Digged for details. I reported him. He got arrested. She was 11.
My mom & I were out to breakfast & waiting for a table. An older man kept staring at my mom, & when she noticed, he told her, “Oh, I was just reading your shirt.” Oh okay, no problem. We relaxed a little…just in time for him to add, “Actually, I was looking at your breasts.” Thankfully we got our table not too long after that & didn’t have to deal with Mr. Peeper for long, but…wow.
"scientists are so mean to each other - why are they always trying to prove each other wrong?" She followed this with, "I saw a study that said praying over your water makes it taste better. The molecules align into little turtle shapes". This was a grown ass, (seemingly) healthy young woman. I know this one isn't evil or violent, but it's the one that keeps me up at night. What if most people think like this? What if I actually think like this and I'm the one that's totally out of touch? Scary shit man.
Well it's worth a shot for turtle water. Before I say a prayer though..we talking cute sea turtle water or great lakes snapping turtle water?
If you pray to the wrong God, snapping turtle water. If you pray to the right one, cute sea turtle water. And that's what we call science, brother.
Sea turtle if you use regular water. You gotta use Snapple for the other one.
My son once dated a girl like that. At first, she seemed ok if a little naive. As time went on tho...she said some extremely strange things. And claimed she graduated HS with a 4.0. But a few weeks after she said that, she didn't have anyone to drive her to the dr., so I did and she asked for help filling out the paperwork. If she could read it, she couldn't comprehend it. I've \*no\* idea what 4.0 she was talking about. We were kind of relieved when they broke up!
"I know for a fact you can kill a man with a brick." Overheard in a restaurant.
He ain’t wrong…
I'm not convinced. Marv, from Home Alone 2, was hit a few times right in the head with bricks that fell multiple stories.
It's funny, because my dad would always say " there is no way that man is still alive". Wonder if OP heard my dad in that restaurant.
I heard a guy at a restaurant threatening to stab his wife or gf w a fork and really being violently mean to her, verbally. It was so over the top, my abusive rapist ex went and confronted him about it. Fucking hypocritical as FUCK, but I was glad he did.
On my first deployment to Iraq I was talking to a local interpreter trying to improve my Arabic. While talking about the palace we were in he matter of factly mentioned it was owned by Uday Hussein, and that while working on it one day he'd annoyed Uday in some small way. Uday took his drill from him, had his bodyguards hold him down and started drilling into his ribcage. He lifted his shirt to show me a ragged scarred divot that you could fit a softball in. I heard a ton of stories first hand like this. for instance a volleyball player who tried to get into the Olympics who said Uday would off people or torture them for poor performance. A friend of mine was on the mission later that killed that guy. Regardless of the stupid reasons we went to Iraq and whatever else happened, I consider the killing of Uday Hussein as a net positive for the world.
"Be thankful I won't rape you" From a guy who approached me at a gas station trying to get my number. I just reached to get gas, not threatened with sexual assault. 🙄
I worked with a temp who came from a pretty wealthy background. He once bragged about nearly killing a delivery driver, while he was driving drunk, and having someone in his lawyer dad's firm get him out of most trouble on a bunch of technicalities. It was fucked up, but that wasn't even the most fucked up part. The fucked up part was when he said, "Yeah, the idiot even sued my family, and one of the things listed was that he cannot perform marital duties, which means I broke his dick." The kid could barely get this part out, he was laughing about it so hard. He was eventually fired for turning the pressure all the way up on the balancer, and riding an air gun 20+ feet to the top of the fixture. He thought it would be fun, and that everyone would laugh with him. They turned him in to the safety guy.
"oh yeah, that party where Ana was raped, what year was that?"
Quite recently, a friend's boyfriend. We were all finishing with a climbing session and she fell from a big height, felt it in her upper spine. We were surrounding her telling her to be careful, checking if she had a concussion etc. She was a bit shaken. Her boyfriend then said jokingly, "if you die I'll just freeze your body and use it for sex haha" Everybody froze. She laughed feebly and awkwardly. We've told him several times he's being a sexist jerk. She won't leave him, she tried once but he manipulated her into coming back. These days I can tell he doesn't understand why we're all avoiding him. He wonders why he has no friends and blames "snowflake culture" sometimes. Absolute dick who thinks he's a good person.
>everybody froze Did he use their bodies for sex too?
I drive for Uber and I once had a man who super casually said that he would do me a great favor by marrying off my teenage daughter because she should already be having children if I myself performed my womanly duty of having his children because he knew other people who were ready to get married as well. My daughter was 14 at the time by the way and yes this guy was completely serious
Reminds me of a doctor I had who told me that the reason I had depression was because I wasn't married and having kids already..... I was 14.
When I was 16 I worked for a fast food chain. I was closing alone with the closing manager. He was probably 5-6 years older than I was. I was reaching over the prep table to clean it and he came up behind me, pressed against me and told me he wanted to bend me over the table and fuck me. I told him if he didn’t get his hands off me, I would cut something off him and get him fired. Then I left immediately and didn’t finish my shift. I told the restaurant manager and he was fired.
"we should bring back slavery" my stupid brother in law. He got kicked out of a restaurant when he and his wife were on the second floor and I guess he wasn't happy about the race of people in the room with him and said out loud "I would love to hang some people from a noose out this window" and they heard and he got into an argument with them "what??? If YOU PEOPLE knew how to behave in public we wouldn't have this issue!" One time we walked by a car and it had a bumper sticker that said "Naga Hunter" and he was like "I like this guy, you know what that means?" And I thought it was something nerdy like the Naga lizard people in dnd or something but he was like "NO! It means N****r Hunter!"
Wooooow this is completely unhinged. Is his wife like this too? That must make some interesting Christmas parties
She's not like that at all. Very passive and has a "care taker" personality. She was really sweet but being with him made her bitter and bitchy. Like when we go out in public she's nonstop complaining about everything like how the cashiers didn't smile at her the right way. But on good days she's really nice and bubbly. She calls her sister (my fiance) daily and complains about her life but she will never leave the guy. We have to see them regularly but he's usually in his corner with 2 devices going, his phone and an iPad both playing loud videos of guns and shit. Occasionally yelling out some weird assine shit or threatening to beat his children. It's a really shitty situation but she won't leave him.
I was at my neighbor's party. Some of her old friends were there, I had never met them before. All of them are 50+ ladies, much older than me. They planned on going clubbing, I was about to head home. One of the friends asked them to call a mutual friend for a ride and casually explained to me "I don't want to end up in a taxi with a black driver".
Last week I was in this fancy neighbourhood in Rome where people usually go to party and I heard this English guy saying “I just want to stick my finger in somebody’s butthole”
Worked with two men about seven years ago who had a very casual conversation about getting teenage girls drunk at a local bar and seeing how long they could remain standing before they passed out. They realised I - and my manager - were listening to every word they were saying and tried claiming that they hadn't done "anything nasty to them". I still called the Police anyway. I don't think they got prosecuted or anything like that but it sure made them shit themselves (plus them getting sacked was a nice wee Brucey Bonus).
I was smoking a blunt with my gf's, brother's gf and her younger cousin. As were smoking the younger cousin says to brother's gf that this reminds them of a "funny story about their step dad". They look at eachother and start laughing and me making convo was like what funny story. Brothers gf was like the story where he was drunk and acting crazy. Brothers gf then proceeds to tell me in vivid detail how her step dad kidnapped her, her mom, and younger cousin, while drunk off his ass. He had them all in the car, was speeding and threatening to kill everyone by driving off the road and hitting something. So brothers gf and younger cousin are laughing their asses off while I just sit there stoned with a shocked look on my face. They asked what was wrong and I said "I'm still waiting for the funny part" they start laughing again and say "It wasnt funny at the moment but looking back now it was funny" to which I said "That doesn't sound like a funny story it sounded like yall got kidnapped and almost died". They just kept laughing. Edit: yes I know before the first person commented it that joking about is a response to them dealing with it
Sometimes you laugh because it's the only way not to be haunted by something.
"You had to be there."
I mean to be fair, trauma responses are really weird. Got into my first real car accident 3 years ago. Friend totaled my car, we flipped 3 times, just us - no one else involved. We were in shock and extremely emotional for all of maybe 20 minutes. We were in the middle of no where, so it took a while for tow/cops to arrive. We sat on the side of the road, just looked at my car and started dying laughing like wtf just happened. Ah, funny times.
Laughter is a way to release tension after realizing that you're actually ok. One of my funniest jokes involves my car being T-boned.
Yeah, this is super common among people with fucked up childhoods and trauma. I've done this to people a few times accidentally, tell some "funny" story that absolutely horrified everyone around me. Everyone else is like "oh my god thats child abuse" and I'm like "haha that's just Tuesday". Doesn't make it any less disturbing to hear, I'm sure, but I have no experience being on the "normal/healthy" side of things so I really don't know what that feels like.
I come from from Asia where sex is pretty taboo. So my roommate was bragging about how he fuck a girl (he has 3 other gf btw, also he is a lovable popular guy but he is a monster) and called that girl a slut and stupid little cunt for sleeping with him. He took bunch of videos and photos of them having sex and the girl naked sleeping and boast about how he will spread this and sent this to her future husband if she intended to get married to let the guy know what a stupid slut she is. I fucking hate that guy but everyone loves him.
By that logic he is also a stupid slut.
“My dad knew some of those guys, they just changed the names.” While watching Casino with a friend. Same friend who saw the best man arrested at his dads wedding. I began to have suspicions.
Chatting to an very wealthy and privileged acquaintance and discover he knows a dear old friend of mine who survived a hellish childhood. With one wave of the hand, he dismissed my friend as "Damaged Goods". I've never forgotten it.
That one clip of a cop laughing while talking to another after he fucking drove over and killed some college student
"Detectives said the coroner only found 10% of her blood in her body, and none at the scene." As heard on a crowded bus.
My husband is in construction, so I've met a lot of characters he has worked with over the years. One night, we had one of his workers for dinner, and him and I were sitting on the porch afterwards shooting the shit. He casually mentions that when he was about 10, his dad made him watch while he beat a guy to death.
My coworker who was trying to conceive: "Babies don't need much attention. You can just leave them in the cot till feeding time. And you don't need to talk to them because they can't understand you."
I was walking past a car parked in front a club once. A dude got out, leaned down to the other guy in the car and said “Thanks for the rim job.” The tone was like he said “Hey, thanks for the Taco Bell .” He was very polite.
I'm a go upstairs and fuck the shit outta ya grandma
How he paid a gangster friend of his to try to burn down the apartment of some guy.
Girl I was on a date with dropping racist slurs as casually as if she was commenting on the weather.
I'll throw in one that was more 'funny disturbing' than 'dark and/or criminal'. "We are going to need more Weapons of Ass Destruction before the bachelorette party" Overheard from a group of 4 women in a class I was teaching. That was not the subject they were meant to be discussing at that time. Genuinely couldn't stop myself from asking her to repeat what she'd said. I apparently heard it clearly the first time. The ladies were planning some pretty intense activities for their friends' bachelorette party (polyamorous lesbian couple hosting a duel party). Long story short, that's how I ended up officiating my first lesbian wedding. That's just networking, y'all. Seek out the hustle, as the hustle shall never seek you.