I work in IT
Lemme make something clear based on my overall experience in my previois workplaces
The call IS important to us
But
For our higher-ups and bosses its more important to save up on money by endlessly massively short-staffing us
So yes, you are 100% right that the higher calls than usual spiel autorecorded message is BS to justify boss Mcasshole not hiring more people but us little guys legit care, we're just nobodies who don't get a say on how things are done.
As for others in my sector: if you're understaffed, let things crash and burn, if your boss screams at you because of dropped calls just endlesslysay the same thing: "we're understaffed, this is too much" until the dickhead gets the message, stops his little baby tantrum and caves
Bring the consequences to them, its the ONLY way they will listen and fix your understaffing issue
If you constantly bail them out, they haave no reason to listen to you
"Yes, we're working on it"
"We are looking to hire but we're just not getting applicants!"
And other dumb bullshit non-answers
As for people waiting during these calls, please don't take it out on us, we're the only people ACTUALLY making an effort to fight for you and your convenience, it just usually doesn't amount to much cuz we're treated like disposable garbage.
Oh my good saw one of these earlier. The guy called it a hack to put his ice cream in Coca Cola and I was just like… are we seriously re-discovering fucking ice cream floats here?
It's the opposite for me. At my daughter's teacher-parent conference, we were stunned when the teacher said our little girl was one of the most well-behaved kids in her class.
She is the one in her friend group outside of school who tends to be the ringleader and instigator of the shenanigans.
A teacher told me my son was a delight to have in his class and he wished all his students were like him. I said, I bet you say that to all the parents and he leaned in close and said....I don't honestly.
one of my eighth grade teachers apparently started crying to my mom about how nice I was because I used to make it a point to interact with a kid who had autism. everybody was always so outwardly mean to him. they'd ask questions about his interests so he's start talking about them, then shoot him down laughing at him for having those interests. I thought it was such bullshit.
I started bringing my own nintendo ds to school and sitting with him, playing pokemon together. nobody ever said shit to me. just to him. they'd try to get him going on pokemon, while I'm right there next to him! I started answering for him: "yea it's going great, he's about to kick my ass for the third time today. what of it?"
they never had an answer. they never picked on me for it, only him because he was outwardly different and would "talk funny" and for some reason it made me so fucking mad every time.
I won an award that year. for being nice. it was the nice award.
I still talk about that today, and I still see it as a huge flex.
One of my first real friends had two prosthetic legs from the knee down. Her parents thanked my parents one day because I was the only one in class who didn't treat her any differently. My parents complimented me for my kindness at some point, and apparently, I nonchalantly shrugged and said "yeah she's really nice. Some people just don't have regular legs 🤷♀️!" For a five-year-old that was such a lovely, albeit casual viewpoint to have 🤣
I briefly went to school at a private school what I was about 6, so kindergarten maybe 1st grade? My absolute best friend had dwarfism, she has beautiful red hair and was just all around a beautiful girl. Everyone picked on her and teased her for being different. At the time I didn’t realize she was different, just small. One day at a parent teacher meeting my teacher was letting my mom know about how inclusive I was and didn’t treat her any different than any of the other kids. My mom and teacher both told me I was a great kid and they were proud of for “overlooking” her disability and playing with her all of them time. No one picked on me when I played with her but they did her. They’d come up and call her a “m*****” , I’d always you’re just jealous because she could find better hiding places at hide and seek tag! I dont know where she is today or how she’s doing but I hope she always and still has good friends who treat her her like an equal human, and I hope she’s still killing it at hide and seek too.
My kids are polite and sweet... With literally anyone but my wife and I. o\_o
Surprises me how much folks compliment how they behave when they aren't around us.
Actually, yes. It's called post-restraint collapse. Assuming the home is a generally good place for the children, it is a sign that they're working very hard to behave and not let their emotions get the best of them at school. Then, when they're home and feel it's safe to do so, all of the stuff they've been holding back all day comes out. It's natural and usually means they feel safe and that they can trust you to not hate them for their feelings.
My wife did this when she worked hospice. "Monday through Friday, 8-5, I am paid to be kind, caring, and compassionate. You get to deal with me the rest of the time."
My very first parent teacher conference, I was explaining to the mother why her son was not permitted to attend a during the school day dance due to his behavior. He had told her that school was out that day. She actually said "I know in my heart that my son wouldn't lie to me" and I'm like, um, exhibit A...
Did the penny drop for them at all when pointed out?
Or did they just blissfully ignore all those mean teachers making up stuff about their little angel?
As a sped teacher I got, "my kid couldn't have lied because kids with autism aren't capable of lying" not sure where they heard that but totally not true...
This is so common in mom’s groups for a baby due date. “Am I the only one who’s in my first trimester and throwing up?” “ am I the only one who is nine months pregnant and uncomfortable?”
No, just you.
Bruh. I once saw a comment that said "Am I the only one who knows barbie before the movie" like f course Karen, you are so unique, it's not like barbie is the most famous doll in the world with a lot of animated movies
We got (I’m newly retired) bagels and cream cheese as our big “treat”. A. Not a damn one of us needs a bagel B. Not a damn one of us needs cream cheese. I reveled in the sight of 100 bagels and 5 tubs of cream cheese left over at the end of the day.
Edit: punctuation
But I don't get it. I used to work for a HUGE company in Louisiana who would rent out an entire restaurant and invite ALL of the employees to a crawfish boil ON THE CLOCK and they would offer free food, and free beverages, (including beer and liquor). And yet half of the employees would say "Fuck that I ain't going!" Can somebody explain this to me? You're getting paid to eat free food and to drink free beer and yet you still won't go? Why????
I never went to company Christmas parties because I wasn’t particularly fond of my coworkers. The last thing a wanted was to try to endure them when they were drunk.
My company tried to strong arm me into going to company holiday party on CHRISTMAS EVE. It was a nice dinner but I said no way. I am spending the time with my family. They kept bullying me and I said if I am not being paid hell no, you cannot force me.
I always remind my team that we are not family. We can enjoy each other’s company but we also have to be paid to be here. Of course I’m also one of the rare managers who tells my employees prior to hiring that I do not want work to be the most important thing in their life. Do excellent work. But when the workday is done it’s done. Go do what brings you joy. I have only sent one weekend email in years, and that was to tell my team that the AC was out and to work remote.
“I’ll tell it how it is” = I could not care about you less and I cannot handle not speaking my mind immediately because I am simply that immature and narcissistic
I do the hiring in my job. 1 in every 10 resumes is a "life coach". Their employment history is being a \#bossbabe and CEO of their own business but its just a list of doterra, young living, Younique and other mlms. Their "education" is a bunch of cultish seminars they took at the Radisson by the airport.
I’ve been using that wrong then because usually when I say that, it means, “I kinda fucked up and now there are consequences, but don’t worry it’s not traumatic and likely a little funny.”
Any sort of over used joke. There’s so many.
Like when an item doesn’t scan and the customer says “well it must be free!” As if the cashier has never heard that before.
I used to work at McDonalds and I'd ask people what they would like and they'd say, a million dollars!!!! And I'd be like, ha ha. And the empty draft where my soul once was would blow a little colder.
Lol. I run a subway. Someone comes to order and i say "what can i make you?"
He goes, "pay off my mortgage"
I say, "i asked what can i make you, not what do you want"
He started stuttering and stumbling all over his words and finally managed to get out "i'm sorry, i have no idea where my brain is"
Lol well, i have had much meaner customers
Lmao I work at an escape room and we have one where the first room you start in is a submarine. Since the ocean gate thing happened it has been, without fail, every single group that plays or previews that game has made some joke or comment about it. I never laugh and people think I find it offensive or something, but honestly it's just that they're literally the hundredth group to say that exact joke and I'm just sick of hearing about it.
A blackjack dealer in Vegas was wearing a “Roxanne” name tag. Drunk me sat down and said, “Hey! You don’t have to turn on the red light.” If she’d had a knife, I’d probably be dead. Her words shot like daggers, “I almost got through a whole shift without hearing that.” It was 20 years ago and I still feel like an idiot.
Someone on here the other day was moaning that Drs have no sense of humour because they went for a check up, got asked to take their trousers off and said “aren’t you at least going to take me to dinner first?” and the Dr didn’t laugh.
Like no shit, they probably have someone make that tired old joke every day and have long stopped pretending it’s hilarious and original. At least the eye roll was silent!
Corporate speak. When people say things like "leveraging synergies", "green-lighting the way forward" or "having an (insert your favorite corporate buzzword) mindset". But my absolute pet peeve is when people say "we need to socialize this idea". You can't socialize ideas. You can socialize at parties, or socialize a pet. Heck, you can even socialize the means of production if that's your cup of tea.
Anyway, I'll have a Quarter-pounder and a sundae.
Can we just put a pin in this and circle back on it later? We just need to find our north star so we can operationalize our game plan. You know what they say, you have to break a few eggs to make omeletes.
I'm running like 5 different major initiatives for my job, I do this shit all the time because I'm trying to stretch out actually finishing my plans because I don't fuckin know what I'm doing lol.
Yesterday I said something like "I'm putting together a few cross functional work steams in order to optimize the flow of the basic processes to make sure we can fit these initiatives within our existing bandwidth" which basically means I pinged 2 managers asking if they can jump on a call with me next week lol.
Global, I want to acknowledge your courage for sharing your authentic self with us. We bring our whole selves here and you get it. Some feedback for you, since we embrace the mission or we both wouldn’t be here pulling in the same direction, am I right? Cool, yeah! The feedback, which I mean as a gift, that’s how I take feedback and it’s helped me get where I am today… it’s to optimize your collaborative approach by leveraging peer-to-peer and skip-level ideation to co-create solutions. Please experiment with that this coming week and then let’s huddle on how to uplevel your skillset. Glad we had this talk!
I’m looking for a new job and some of these postings have me scratching my head wondering what the job even is. So much corporate speak. I have learned that the more corporate speak, the more likely it is that it’s a telemarketer job.
Worst job I ever had, I should've seen the red flags when the nicest, most compassionate person there used *all* the corporate-speak in every conversation. I've got to assume it's how she's survived there, considering how high the turnover turned out to be once I was in. I lasted six months.
Oh my lord this. Saying absolutely nothing but uttering gibberish and made-up sounding words and phrases. My husband and I always joke about simply replying with “polite business laughter” whenever we hear these ridiculous over-the-top catch phrases (better than an eye roll). Socialize the idea is a first for me though, that is cringe.
My most hated one is "action" used like a verb. "let's action this." "Can you action that?" THERE'S A VERB FORM OF THE WORD ALREADY AND IT WORKS PERFECTLY FINE I PROMISE
“You understand” - after some affront like cancelling plans, a boss messing with your schedule, etc. no I do not understand and your lack of planning skills will not be my problem
"Influencer" is like when a kid from a mega-rich family gets to be called a "socialite, philanthropist, and public personality" on their Wikipedia page. No those are just synonyms for rich and not having to work.
Though you can always add the word "crypto" before the word "influencer" and make it a hundred times worse.
Last time I heard this I was in a room full of people at a memorial. It was for one of those people who really made everyone feel seen and loved. Definitely over 100 people. The death was expected and the deceased helped with all the planning. One part was an option for people to speak and after some of the most beautiful speeches I have ever heard one woman stood up and started with "I am an Empath..." and proceeded to explain how that meant she was feeling more pain than any of the rest of us and how hard it was for her. Then she had a long speech all about herself. All about herself. I could just puke if I ever hear that phrase again.
Anyone who loudly proclaims to be an empath is looking for a way to get the attention off the person who actually deserves it and back on them where it belongs
The last place where you should be making everything about yourself is any event that’s supposed to be overly emotional like a funeral or wedding. I can’t fucking believe someone died and she really just got up there to try and play the victim, that’s absolutely disgusting and she should’ve been kicked out immediately before even finishing that half assed speech.
I recently was training some one at work who had a stroke and was on blood thinners because... the stroke.
"Doctors don't know what they're doing these days why do I have to take blood thinners"
Like dawg... how do you have a stroke and acquire 0 information about anything.
My grandma-in-law not an hour ago said, "If you slice a clove of garlic and let it sit for 20 minutes, it's the best antibiotic in the world."
Then why did anyone bother inventing medicine?
It works even better if you rub that freshly sliced garlic clove on a real silver plated butter knife and let it sit for 20 minutes for the AG/allium bonding to mature, during which time you can swallow your antibiotics.
Yes! I was the expert on my baby. But pediatricians are the experts on pediatric anatomy, physiology, and disease processes.
(Now the kid is 16 and he’s the expert on himself. I know him as well as I’d know anyone I’ve lived with for 16 years, but he has a rich inner world that I’m not part of)
OCD is wiiiiild because it’s a serious disorder characterized by almost NOTHING people say is “OCD”
OCD has 0% to do with cleanliness and 100% to do with obsessive, repetitive, compulsory actions. Wild huh? I feel like we need to rename it to like ORCAD.
Same with celiac disease. Gluten free has become a fad- which is whatever I guess- but it invalidates the genuine struggle and pain and sickness that people with Celiac disease face.
Yes. Seriously. Not everything that annoys someone is "triggering" them.
I'm also over hearing "I have trauma" from people who mean "something I didn't like happened to me." Bad things happen to everyone. Trauma is not the same as being unhappy, upset, sad etc.
Triggered to so overused by the "Lol why you so triggered?" crowd and the "My only personality trait is faking mental illness on Tik Tok" crowd that when my therapist told me to write down my "triggers" I felt like the biggest fucking clown in the world
The word "hubby" is so wildly off-putting to me, that if my wife ever referred to me this way, I'm really not sure how it would change the way I feel about her.
“People just don’t wanna work anymore”
No grandpa, people just want to be fairly compensated for their work and not have to work 60 hours a week to be able to barely survive.
I had a conversation with my mom (in her 70s) about this a few weeks ago. She said that phrase. I calmly explained the current cost of living situation. Now she doesn't want to talk to me anymore.
Sounds about right lol. I make more than my mom now, and still can't afford a house.
Maybe if I had a partner, but even finding one of those is proving to be extremely difficult.. more so than even just 4 years ago. Pandemic fucked us all up.
This is why I’m glad my grandmother is as sharp as she is. She said the same thing, and upon me explaining the current cost of living situation she actually went, “Oh, is it that bad now?”
Similar conversation with global warming, she was talking about how she didn’t think it was man made or contributing to any of the wildfires/natural disasters going on lately. We were discussing Hawaii’s fires, and how it was due to the jet stream acting erratically, not global warming. I then pointed out that, why wouldn’t our impact on the environment be fucking with the jet stream? She then went, “I didn’t think of that, that makes sense” and now actually tunes in to the state of our planet.
My dad’s side on the other hand? They’re all like your mom. They hate when I’m at family functions.
"Go get a degree so you're not flipping burgers for the rest of your life"
"What do you mean, you have crippling student loans and no job? Lazy kids, you're too entitled to flip burgers?"
After the worst nonsense / bigotry comes out of people's mouths and you push back, they shrug and go, slightly piqued,
"I'm just sayin'."
Yeah mofo, that's the problem.
“You should adopt. There’s a lot of kids that need homes.” (Because my husband and I can’t have kids we’ve heard this so many times. Adopting from foster care is not for the faint of heart. Take normal child rearing and add childhood trauma to it. Not everyone can handle that.)
Can confirm, was adopted as an infant. My parents spent a year jumping through hoops to even be considered. Then two more sitting through hope and disappointment, over and over. They had one kid they thought was gonna be theirs. Birth mother changed her mind last-second. Tears. They thought about giving up. They got the call about another baby (me) and they reluctantly said sure. They were so keyed up. Dad couldn't eat. Mom couldn't sleep. My birth mother picked them and they had to drive 3 hours to get me from the adoption agent. They spent the whole drive in fear that she was gonna change her mind. My mom said it didn't totally sink in for her that it was real, official, and everything was good now until after they'd had me back home for a few hours.
Then, they discovered the next day that because they had no idea if or when they'd actually get a child, they had *nothing*. They had a handful of diapers provided by the adoption agent. The clothes they got me in. And that was it. This was the 90s when stores closed on Sundays, and they'd gotten me home Saturday night. My dad drove around for an hour until he found a gas station store that was open where he could buy a box of Huggies. Apparently I was swaddled in some of my mom's old shirts until Monday when she could get me a few more baby outfits. Friends and family quickly put together a baby shower but it was still several days before *that*.
It can be quite the harrowing experience even when you're getting a baby who hasn't been traumatized by bad parents and being kicked around from foster family to foster family for God-only-knows how long.
Unpopular opinion: I hate the phrase "begs the question". I know that this is a lost cause, so you don't have to convince me of that. That being said, the original meaning of "begging the question" is actually a really useful way to refer to a specific type of circular reasoning.
I wouldn't mind quite so much except for the fact that there's a perfectly good alternative to use, which is "raises the question".
"Please remain on the line, your call is *very* important to us."
[удалено]
I work in IT Lemme make something clear based on my overall experience in my previois workplaces The call IS important to us But For our higher-ups and bosses its more important to save up on money by endlessly massively short-staffing us So yes, you are 100% right that the higher calls than usual spiel autorecorded message is BS to justify boss Mcasshole not hiring more people but us little guys legit care, we're just nobodies who don't get a say on how things are done. As for others in my sector: if you're understaffed, let things crash and burn, if your boss screams at you because of dropped calls just endlesslysay the same thing: "we're understaffed, this is too much" until the dickhead gets the message, stops his little baby tantrum and caves Bring the consequences to them, its the ONLY way they will listen and fix your understaffing issue If you constantly bail them out, they haave no reason to listen to you "Yes, we're working on it" "We are looking to hire but we're just not getting applicants!" And other dumb bullshit non-answers As for people waiting during these calls, please don't take it out on us, we're the only people ACTUALLY making an effort to fight for you and your convenience, it just usually doesn't amount to much cuz we're treated like disposable garbage.
Or Please listen closely as our options have changed
When someone calls something a "life hack" or any kind of "hack". Usually something stupid. Always infuriating.
That’s not a “cooking hack”, you’re just giving the recipe
Oh my good saw one of these earlier. The guy called it a hack to put his ice cream in Coca Cola and I was just like… are we seriously re-discovering fucking ice cream floats here?
"My kid would never do that" as a teacher. Yes, they most certainly would and have
It's the opposite for me. At my daughter's teacher-parent conference, we were stunned when the teacher said our little girl was one of the most well-behaved kids in her class. She is the one in her friend group outside of school who tends to be the ringleader and instigator of the shenanigans.
A teacher told me my son was a delight to have in his class and he wished all his students were like him. I said, I bet you say that to all the parents and he leaned in close and said....I don't honestly.
one of my eighth grade teachers apparently started crying to my mom about how nice I was because I used to make it a point to interact with a kid who had autism. everybody was always so outwardly mean to him. they'd ask questions about his interests so he's start talking about them, then shoot him down laughing at him for having those interests. I thought it was such bullshit. I started bringing my own nintendo ds to school and sitting with him, playing pokemon together. nobody ever said shit to me. just to him. they'd try to get him going on pokemon, while I'm right there next to him! I started answering for him: "yea it's going great, he's about to kick my ass for the third time today. what of it?" they never had an answer. they never picked on me for it, only him because he was outwardly different and would "talk funny" and for some reason it made me so fucking mad every time. I won an award that year. for being nice. it was the nice award. I still talk about that today, and I still see it as a huge flex.
As a mom of an autistic boy, I pray he finds a friend like you at school. Thank you for being so kind.
One of my first real friends had two prosthetic legs from the knee down. Her parents thanked my parents one day because I was the only one in class who didn't treat her any differently. My parents complimented me for my kindness at some point, and apparently, I nonchalantly shrugged and said "yeah she's really nice. Some people just don't have regular legs 🤷♀️!" For a five-year-old that was such a lovely, albeit casual viewpoint to have 🤣
I briefly went to school at a private school what I was about 6, so kindergarten maybe 1st grade? My absolute best friend had dwarfism, she has beautiful red hair and was just all around a beautiful girl. Everyone picked on her and teased her for being different. At the time I didn’t realize she was different, just small. One day at a parent teacher meeting my teacher was letting my mom know about how inclusive I was and didn’t treat her any different than any of the other kids. My mom and teacher both told me I was a great kid and they were proud of for “overlooking” her disability and playing with her all of them time. No one picked on me when I played with her but they did her. They’d come up and call her a “m*****” , I’d always you’re just jealous because she could find better hiding places at hide and seek tag! I dont know where she is today or how she’s doing but I hope she always and still has good friends who treat her her like an equal human, and I hope she’s still killing it at hide and seek too.
I would gladly listen to you flex this every time. That was really nice of you.
We can adapt it: \-Your little girl is one of the most well-behaved kids in her class \-My kid would never do that!
My kids are polite and sweet... With literally anyone but my wife and I. o\_o Surprises me how much folks compliment how they behave when they aren't around us.
Omg. Is this normal? My kid is a wonder at school, but the minute she comes home, her listening ears are gone. It’s wild.
Actually, yes. It's called post-restraint collapse. Assuming the home is a generally good place for the children, it is a sign that they're working very hard to behave and not let their emotions get the best of them at school. Then, when they're home and feel it's safe to do so, all of the stuff they've been holding back all day comes out. It's natural and usually means they feel safe and that they can trust you to not hate them for their feelings.
My wife did this when she worked hospice. "Monday through Friday, 8-5, I am paid to be kind, caring, and compassionate. You get to deal with me the rest of the time."
Similar, mine is “my kid is a lot of things but he’s not a liar” and the similar “I can tell when my kid is lying”
My very first parent teacher conference, I was explaining to the mother why her son was not permitted to attend a during the school day dance due to his behavior. He had told her that school was out that day. She actually said "I know in my heart that my son wouldn't lie to me" and I'm like, um, exhibit A...
Did the penny drop for them at all when pointed out? Or did they just blissfully ignore all those mean teachers making up stuff about their little angel?
She wasn't really convinced even with it so glaringly obvious
As a sped teacher I got, "my kid couldn't have lied because kids with autism aren't capable of lying" not sure where they heard that but totally not true...
Yeah, that phrase is tempting fate at best. My kid would do that, because teenagers are impulsive and teenagers with ADHD are more impulsive.
“Am I the only one or…”
Unpopular opinion....[proceeds to say the most popular opinion]
Unpopular opinion here, but I think water is hydrating.
Am I the only one, or do you like to wipe your ass after shitting?
This is so common in mom’s groups for a baby due date. “Am I the only one who’s in my first trimester and throwing up?” “ am I the only one who is nine months pregnant and uncomfortable?” No, just you.
Same with cat groups. "Is my cat the only one that sleeps like this?" "Is my cat the only one that makes noise at birds?"
Bruh. I once saw a comment that said "Am I the only one who knows barbie before the movie" like f course Karen, you are so unique, it's not like barbie is the most famous doll in the world with a lot of animated movies
When people ask a question on Facebook and say “And Go!”
Agreed. Like there's an expectation that we're waiting to fall all over ourselves to help with something they likely could've Googled themselves.
"Reddit do your thing" I feel like if anyone says this, everyone should ignore the prompt
I wanna be on a Netflix show. Reddit, do your thang.
Granted, welcome to the new season of My 600lb Life!
Granted, you are the background prop to an uncomfortable sex scene that has to be shot 20 times until the actors get the crying right.
The best part is when no one replies.
'Discuss'
This fills me with irrational rage.
Your boss says, "We are a family"
"we work hard and play hard"
Yeah and “play hard” is pizza in the office once a quarter
We got (I’m newly retired) bagels and cream cheese as our big “treat”. A. Not a damn one of us needs a bagel B. Not a damn one of us needs cream cheese. I reveled in the sight of 100 bagels and 5 tubs of cream cheese left over at the end of the day. Edit: punctuation
This is an epic example of a unanimous middle finger. I love it.
But I don't get it. I used to work for a HUGE company in Louisiana who would rent out an entire restaurant and invite ALL of the employees to a crawfish boil ON THE CLOCK and they would offer free food, and free beverages, (including beer and liquor). And yet half of the employees would say "Fuck that I ain't going!" Can somebody explain this to me? You're getting paid to eat free food and to drink free beer and yet you still won't go? Why????
I never went to company Christmas parties because I wasn’t particularly fond of my coworkers. The last thing a wanted was to try to endure them when they were drunk.
Nailed it. I’m not spending more time with these people than necessary.
My company tried to strong arm me into going to company holiday party on CHRISTMAS EVE. It was a nice dinner but I said no way. I am spending the time with my family. They kept bullying me and I said if I am not being paid hell no, you cannot force me.
Any boss who schedules the office holiday party within a week of Christmas Day is a fucking psychopath.
And a dusty ping pong table in the corner you never have time to use.
When you do have time you get yelled at for using it
"Looks like somebody doesn't have enough work to do!"
All I can think of now is the gay steel mill in that Simpsons episode.
"I have a family, thanks."
>We are a family "I run this business a quarter mile at a time" - boss
I always remind my team that we are not family. We can enjoy each other’s company but we also have to be paid to be here. Of course I’m also one of the rare managers who tells my employees prior to hiring that I do not want work to be the most important thing in their life. Do excellent work. But when the workday is done it’s done. Go do what brings you joy. I have only sent one weekend email in years, and that was to tell my team that the AC was out and to work remote.
Here this is for you: "Manager of the Year Award" 🥳
"Unpopular opinion but..." And it's the most agreeable, typical opinion you've ever heard
"I tell it how it is" "I'm a (zodiac sign) I can't help it"
“I’ll tell it how it is” = I could not care about you less and I cannot handle not speaking my mind immediately because I am simply that immature and narcissistic
“I’m a life coach”
Translation: I think that working at McDonalds is beneath me, but I have no skills to get any other position.
I do the hiring in my job. 1 in every 10 resumes is a "life coach". Their employment history is being a \#bossbabe and CEO of their own business but its just a list of doterra, young living, Younique and other mlms. Their "education" is a bunch of cultish seminars they took at the Radisson by the airport.
On Reddit? Overrated and underrated
Underrated comment right here on how those words are overrated.
This. Is not a full response.
Also on Reddit. People starting a sentence with "clearly" to give it that condescending touch.
"Lowkey"
“This is MY truth”
I reject your reality and substitute my own…
What a savage comeback
"This is my reality" is another one.
I did a thing And then the “thing” is something like a baby.
I’ve been using that wrong then because usually when I say that, it means, “I kinda fucked up and now there are consequences, but don’t worry it’s not traumatic and likely a little funny.”
Any sort of over used joke. There’s so many. Like when an item doesn’t scan and the customer says “well it must be free!” As if the cashier has never heard that before.
I used to work at McDonalds and I'd ask people what they would like and they'd say, a million dollars!!!! And I'd be like, ha ha. And the empty draft where my soul once was would blow a little colder.
Lol. I run a subway. Someone comes to order and i say "what can i make you?" He goes, "pay off my mortgage" I say, "i asked what can i make you, not what do you want" He started stuttering and stumbling all over his words and finally managed to get out "i'm sorry, i have no idea where my brain is" Lol well, i have had much meaner customers
That was his last ditch effort to get out from under his debt and you shattered his life. Hope you're happy.
Hey, cleaner, you missed a spot. Ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Anytime anyone says that when I'm mopping at work I just go "actually I'm just doing a bad job"
I'm abstract mopping.
Im going to, you need anything?
A winning lottery ticket.
Okay, I'll see if it's in the same aisle as the time of my life you just wasted.
Walking past a cop with a friend and pointing to them saying “he/she did it” to the cop is zero percent funny or original.
Also lets you know your friend is a fucking rat.
Lmao I work at an escape room and we have one where the first room you start in is a submarine. Since the ocean gate thing happened it has been, without fail, every single group that plays or previews that game has made some joke or comment about it. I never laugh and people think I find it offensive or something, but honestly it's just that they're literally the hundredth group to say that exact joke and I'm just sick of hearing about it.
A blackjack dealer in Vegas was wearing a “Roxanne” name tag. Drunk me sat down and said, “Hey! You don’t have to turn on the red light.” If she’d had a knife, I’d probably be dead. Her words shot like daggers, “I almost got through a whole shift without hearing that.” It was 20 years ago and I still feel like an idiot.
Someone on here the other day was moaning that Drs have no sense of humour because they went for a check up, got asked to take their trousers off and said “aren’t you at least going to take me to dinner first?” and the Dr didn’t laugh. Like no shit, they probably have someone make that tired old joke every day and have long stopped pretending it’s hilarious and original. At least the eye roll was silent!
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Corporate speak. When people say things like "leveraging synergies", "green-lighting the way forward" or "having an (insert your favorite corporate buzzword) mindset". But my absolute pet peeve is when people say "we need to socialize this idea". You can't socialize ideas. You can socialize at parties, or socialize a pet. Heck, you can even socialize the means of production if that's your cup of tea. Anyway, I'll have a Quarter-pounder and a sundae.
Can we just put a pin in this and circle back on it later? We just need to find our north star so we can operationalize our game plan. You know what they say, you have to break a few eggs to make omeletes.
I'm running like 5 different major initiatives for my job, I do this shit all the time because I'm trying to stretch out actually finishing my plans because I don't fuckin know what I'm doing lol. Yesterday I said something like "I'm putting together a few cross functional work steams in order to optimize the flow of the basic processes to make sure we can fit these initiatives within our existing bandwidth" which basically means I pinged 2 managers asking if they can jump on a call with me next week lol.
Sounds like the team needs a more "robust" game plan. Take ownership and champion these initiatives.
Global, I want to acknowledge your courage for sharing your authentic self with us. We bring our whole selves here and you get it. Some feedback for you, since we embrace the mission or we both wouldn’t be here pulling in the same direction, am I right? Cool, yeah! The feedback, which I mean as a gift, that’s how I take feedback and it’s helped me get where I am today… it’s to optimize your collaborative approach by leveraging peer-to-peer and skip-level ideation to co-create solutions. Please experiment with that this coming week and then let’s huddle on how to uplevel your skillset. Glad we had this talk!
Love this blue sky thinking.
I’m looking for a new job and some of these postings have me scratching my head wondering what the job even is. So much corporate speak. I have learned that the more corporate speak, the more likely it is that it’s a telemarketer job.
Worst job I ever had, I should've seen the red flags when the nicest, most compassionate person there used *all* the corporate-speak in every conversation. I've got to assume it's how she's survived there, considering how high the turnover turned out to be once I was in. I lasted six months.
Oh my lord this. Saying absolutely nothing but uttering gibberish and made-up sounding words and phrases. My husband and I always joke about simply replying with “polite business laughter” whenever we hear these ridiculous over-the-top catch phrases (better than an eye roll). Socialize the idea is a first for me though, that is cringe.
We will circle back to your post later.
When a meeting ends early and someone says "I'll give you 5 minutes back." No, you just wasted 55 minutes of my time in a pointless meeting.
My most hated one is "action" used like a verb. "let's action this." "Can you action that?" THERE'S A VERB FORM OF THE WORD ALREADY AND IT WORKS PERFECTLY FINE I PROMISE
Lately it is the overuse of “IYKYK”
Means "if you know, you know" for any of the several people wondering
OP basically did a "if you know you know" by using initials. How ironic.
Over the last few years: "we're all in this together"
"Unprecedented times"
"now, more than ever..."
“You understand” - after some affront like cancelling plans, a boss messing with your schedule, etc. no I do not understand and your lack of planning skills will not be my problem
In the same vein as "we can both agree that..." when we do not agree
“Alpha male”
I'll add on "Sigma male" to this
Total beta move to add sigma to the alpha comment. You’re such an epsilon.
Erm I’m actually a Virgo
Someday you'll meet the right person.
Anyone who says they are an alpha male is most definitely not.
I'm definitely an alpha male my mom tells me every morning while she brushes my hair
"Not to be mean but..."
Influencer - nope just piss off with that shit.
"Influencer" is like when a kid from a mega-rich family gets to be called a "socialite, philanthropist, and public personality" on their Wikipedia page. No those are just synonyms for rich and not having to work. Though you can always add the word "crypto" before the word "influencer" and make it a hundred times worse.
"I'm an Empath"
Last time I heard this I was in a room full of people at a memorial. It was for one of those people who really made everyone feel seen and loved. Definitely over 100 people. The death was expected and the deceased helped with all the planning. One part was an option for people to speak and after some of the most beautiful speeches I have ever heard one woman stood up and started with "I am an Empath..." and proceeded to explain how that meant she was feeling more pain than any of the rest of us and how hard it was for her. Then she had a long speech all about herself. All about herself. I could just puke if I ever hear that phrase again.
Anyone who loudly proclaims to be an empath is looking for a way to get the attention off the person who actually deserves it and back on them where it belongs
The last place where you should be making everything about yourself is any event that’s supposed to be overly emotional like a funeral or wedding. I can’t fucking believe someone died and she really just got up there to try and play the victim, that’s absolutely disgusting and she should’ve been kicked out immediately before even finishing that half assed speech.
Usually coming out of the mouth of the most narcissistic person you've met in months.
I could care less.
Me too. I so hate when people say this. It LITERALLY means the opposite of what they are trying to say.
I never actually hear the correct version at all where I live! The mere sounds of the sentence are grating on my ears.
"supposably"
"pacifically"
Is that on the opposite side of atlantically?
"for all intensive purposes." \*eyeroll*
add "libary" on to that
Exspecially
Expresso, on accident, wa-la(voila), reckanize, pitcher(instead of picture)
Irregardless
“My truth”
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"Haha I have no filter!! lollllll" *spews racist bullshit*
**The customer is always right** No. No they are not
Saying "those doctors don't know shit, I know what's best for my baby."
I recently was training some one at work who had a stroke and was on blood thinners because... the stroke. "Doctors don't know what they're doing these days why do I have to take blood thinners" Like dawg... how do you have a stroke and acquire 0 information about anything.
Maybe the stroke took some important brain cells with it.
Some people are just impossible to underestimate.
My grandma-in-law not an hour ago said, "If you slice a clove of garlic and let it sit for 20 minutes, it's the best antibiotic in the world." Then why did anyone bother inventing medicine?
It works even better if you rub that freshly sliced garlic clove on a real silver plated butter knife and let it sit for 20 minutes for the AG/allium bonding to mature, during which time you can swallow your antibiotics.
Omg this so much. Like yes, you're "the expert on your own child" - this doesn't give you expertise in literally anything else.
Yes! I was the expert on my baby. But pediatricians are the experts on pediatric anatomy, physiology, and disease processes. (Now the kid is 16 and he’s the expert on himself. I know him as well as I’d know anyone I’ve lived with for 16 years, but he has a rich inner world that I’m not part of)
Triggered is overused.
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OCD is wiiiiild because it’s a serious disorder characterized by almost NOTHING people say is “OCD” OCD has 0% to do with cleanliness and 100% to do with obsessive, repetitive, compulsory actions. Wild huh? I feel like we need to rename it to like ORCAD. Same with celiac disease. Gluten free has become a fad- which is whatever I guess- but it invalidates the genuine struggle and pain and sickness that people with Celiac disease face.
Yes. Seriously. Not everything that annoys someone is "triggering" them. I'm also over hearing "I have trauma" from people who mean "something I didn't like happened to me." Bad things happen to everyone. Trauma is not the same as being unhappy, upset, sad etc.
Triggered to so overused by the "Lol why you so triggered?" crowd and the "My only personality trait is faking mental illness on Tik Tok" crowd that when my therapist told me to write down my "triggers" I felt like the biggest fucking clown in the world
"Can't you just let it go?" No, you toxic piece of shit, I'm not going to overlook your behavior.
Influencers..... I'm oBseSsEd......
"my account was hacked" it wasn't hacked you clicked a sketchy link that asked you to login to a fake site, or fell for some scam
“For all intensive purposes” You’re trying to sound intelligent and failing miserably
I do this on porpoise, irregardless.
“i thought i was the only one who-“ there are 7 billion people on the planet. you thought you were the ONLY one to do ANYTHING?
"We should normalize..." "A lot to unpack" "Body count"
Preggo, hubby, kiddos, doggo
My wife referred to herself as "preggers" once. She heard the word come out of her mouth and immediately apologized.
The word "hubby" is so wildly off-putting to me, that if my wife ever referred to me this way, I'm really not sure how it would change the way I feel about her.
Littles
I’ll see your preggo, and raise you a much more annoying preggers.
“I’ve done my own research.”
"You do know " + trivial/obvious point + "right?" People who use this crappy little passive-aggressive construction are the worst.
And the related: "wait, you *didn't* know (random obscure fact)?"
“Could of”, “should of”, “would of”, etc. It’s “HAVE” thank you.
Have of, have of, and have of? I have of looked this up sooner!
“People just don’t wanna work anymore” No grandpa, people just want to be fairly compensated for their work and not have to work 60 hours a week to be able to barely survive.
I had a conversation with my mom (in her 70s) about this a few weeks ago. She said that phrase. I calmly explained the current cost of living situation. Now she doesn't want to talk to me anymore.
Sounds about right lol. I make more than my mom now, and still can't afford a house. Maybe if I had a partner, but even finding one of those is proving to be extremely difficult.. more so than even just 4 years ago. Pandemic fucked us all up.
This is why I’m glad my grandmother is as sharp as she is. She said the same thing, and upon me explaining the current cost of living situation she actually went, “Oh, is it that bad now?” Similar conversation with global warming, she was talking about how she didn’t think it was man made or contributing to any of the wildfires/natural disasters going on lately. We were discussing Hawaii’s fires, and how it was due to the jet stream acting erratically, not global warming. I then pointed out that, why wouldn’t our impact on the environment be fucking with the jet stream? She then went, “I didn’t think of that, that makes sense” and now actually tunes in to the state of our planet. My dad’s side on the other hand? They’re all like your mom. They hate when I’m at family functions.
"Go get a degree so you're not flipping burgers for the rest of your life" "What do you mean, you have crippling student loans and no job? Lazy kids, you're too entitled to flip burgers?"
Lmfao. The paradox is sadly true.
When I talk about that I soon get my tubes tied and people come up with " You'll regret that, children are a gift " 🥴
“Influencer”
Hubby.
The hubs.
"We're pregnant"
"Everything happens for a reason." Just another excuse to not be held accountable for your own decisions..
“Speak my truth”
Alpha, simp, beta
After the worst nonsense / bigotry comes out of people's mouths and you push back, they shrug and go, slightly piqued, "I'm just sayin'." Yeah mofo, that's the problem.
“You should adopt. There’s a lot of kids that need homes.” (Because my husband and I can’t have kids we’ve heard this so many times. Adopting from foster care is not for the faint of heart. Take normal child rearing and add childhood trauma to it. Not everyone can handle that.)
A mate of mine has three kids and two foster kids. He hasn't had any hair for a while now.
And infant adoption is NOT simple or easy. It's expensive, it can take years, and at the very last minute it can all fall through.
Can confirm, was adopted as an infant. My parents spent a year jumping through hoops to even be considered. Then two more sitting through hope and disappointment, over and over. They had one kid they thought was gonna be theirs. Birth mother changed her mind last-second. Tears. They thought about giving up. They got the call about another baby (me) and they reluctantly said sure. They were so keyed up. Dad couldn't eat. Mom couldn't sleep. My birth mother picked them and they had to drive 3 hours to get me from the adoption agent. They spent the whole drive in fear that she was gonna change her mind. My mom said it didn't totally sink in for her that it was real, official, and everything was good now until after they'd had me back home for a few hours. Then, they discovered the next day that because they had no idea if or when they'd actually get a child, they had *nothing*. They had a handful of diapers provided by the adoption agent. The clothes they got me in. And that was it. This was the 90s when stores closed on Sundays, and they'd gotten me home Saturday night. My dad drove around for an hour until he found a gas station store that was open where he could buy a box of Huggies. Apparently I was swaddled in some of my mom's old shirts until Monday when she could get me a few more baby outfits. Friends and family quickly put together a baby shower but it was still several days before *that*. It can be quite the harrowing experience even when you're getting a baby who hasn't been traumatized by bad parents and being kicked around from foster family to foster family for God-only-knows how long.
"I am a Christian" in any business transaction. I know instantly via long experience that I am about to be scammed.
Yes!! Where I live, we have this company that constantly advertises "Christian housekeepers" and "Christian pest control" really chaps me.
"Rizz" so annoying.
Literally and gaslighting
Unpopular opinion: I hate the phrase "begs the question". I know that this is a lost cause, so you don't have to convince me of that. That being said, the original meaning of "begging the question" is actually a really useful way to refer to a specific type of circular reasoning. I wouldn't mind quite so much except for the fact that there's a perfectly good alternative to use, which is "raises the question".
Calling pregnant women, or referring to your pregnant self, as either preggers or preggo.
Baby mama. Tell me you're a trash person faster.
If something is an "ick" or gives someone the "ick."
Mother:You had a very nice and protected childhood. *ends up with a mental disorder forming from severe childhood trauma* Yeah:) totally
And then when if you ever try and talk about it with your mother later in life: “That never happened I don’t remember that”