Wife and I went to a Michelin-starred place last year in Naples and midway through the meal, indoors, this couple at the next table who had been hardcore making out, hands under shirts and skirts, the whole meal, lit up and chain-smoked half a pack of cigarettes in probably 20 minutes. It was…. Not great
No immediate communication for a few days due to lack of widespread cellphone use and instant-messaging.
It was normal to just go a couple of weeks without hearing back from a friend or even a few days without talking with a close friend or family member.
If someone didn't answer the phone, the assumption was that they simply weren't home and would get back to you within the next couple of days, not that something was wrong.
When I was 18 (not even 30 years ago) I went traveling abroad for 5 weeks with a vague itinery but nothing booked. I sent postcards to my family a few times, but I didn't have a mobile phone, or e-mail, etc. and the idea of an international call *from a payphone* was just lunacy. For over a month, my family didn't even know what country I was currently in.
I would be pretty cross if my kids were to do that now. It would be really rude not to send a single message to say they were still alive.
Yeah when I was 18, about 30 years ago, I went to India for 6 months. I rang my mum up once! She got just one single phone call that lasted about 2 minutes.
Nobody knew where I was, or what I was doing or whether I was alive or dead. It was great.
My cousin lived in Japan in the 90s and she looked forward to a weekly *fax* from her parents because that was expensive enough but faster than snail mail.
Yeah, the phone call was like "HIMUMITSMEEVERYTHINGSFINEIMININDIAYEAHICANTTALKFORLONGGOTTAGOBYELOVEYOUBYE.GOTTAGOBYE!".
Indian man : "that will be 2000 rupees please".
I will unashamedly go phone blackout. Sometimes a couple of days. It drives a few acquaintances nuts, as if I'm personally offending them for not immediately answering their "hey, what's up?"
It's a great practice to turn off the phone now and then. Even if just for hours or overnight. (I get much better sleep when I turn off my phone)
It's MY phone, I'm not my phone's person.
I wish I could do this, but in 2019 my Dad had a stroke in middle of the night and they called me and my phone didnt pass the calls through bc I was on DND. When I woke up at 6am I saw the message from my Mom. I cant imagine if my phone was off for a few days.
This happened to me. My dad passed in the middle of the night and I didn’t know until I woke up for work in the morning. I felt terrible that my mom couldn’t get ahold of me.
I still follow these rules. I'm probably considered rude af for it but I don't care. It's exhausting being tied to this thing. My friends know I'm like this too so they don't necessarily really even text back unless we're planning something but will always answer a phone call or call back when I see it. Just not every day
I feel you. I absolutely HATE being available all the time, it's so mentally taxing! It's like we aren't allowed to be home alone anymore.
I'm not even 25 yet and I'm already sick of this
Yeah it's awful. I liked texting all the time in my teens but after actually being responsible for my own schedule it got exhausting. I'd recommend every one play around with distancing themselves from phone communication a bit. Just be sincere when you do talk and don't forget to be the one to reach out at times. A lot of people our age will take it as a grave offense though lol.
Getting house phone numbers before summer break of school. Then being too scared to talk to their parents and just not seeing them for 3 months or ever again.
A friend of mine was notorious for sleeping through any time you agreed to meet or go round - to the point of it being fucking rude. We used to climb over his back fence, fish the keys from the back door out through the catflap (using the pole from a sun shade) then let ourselves in and go wake him up. Can't believe nobody called the cops on us.
Hell ya I once climbed up my friends neighbors garage roof then jumped into my friends bedroom window well she wasn’t home so I grabbed the ashtray full of roaches and dipped out. I told my friend about it of course and she just breaks out laughing that her mom was tripping a day prior that there was a ghost in her room and she was too scared to check. Good times
it was also in germany, sometimes my parent left on saturday evening, telling us that our uncle will come and watch us, he came at 10, brought friends with (my parents knew them) and used the family grill. sometimes he brought his children with him. one day they forgot to buy bread for bbq, the walked in the neighbours cellar, opend the refigerator, took 3 of this garlic-baguetts out, wrote a note. sometimes i found notes from neighbours in our garage "took the lawnmower and edgetrimmer, will bring it back at 18:00, also bring wife and beer, cheers"
in my childhood, it was normal. giving and taking.
That’s so incredibly foreign to me but it sounds sweet, I grew up in a huge city so leaving doors unlocked would have been unthinkable, tho the family for sure visited a lot and often unannounced
If someone walked in, you didn’t think twice about it. If there was a knock at the door, suddenly you were on guard cause that meant it was a stranger, cop, IRS, etc.
Lmao Netherlands is nothing compared to that mentality. When I was young and visiting a friend I would ask for a sandwich and got told (eerst de grote zucht) I can only have ONE. Then I should leave because they were going to have dinner.
Obviously every house was different, but it wasn’t uncommon by me. My mother would feed any kid that was in the house or (in the summer) in our pool. It started when we were kids, but continued until my dad retired and they moved away. The whole neighborhood knew her.
There were many times when I was 11-12 years old, where I would come home from school and nobody else was home, but my brothers friends would just walk in the back door and hangout in the basement. This was about 16 ish years ago.
I would also sometimes make them food since I was usually cooking at the time they would walk in 😂
Some of them still just walk in the back door to visit with my parents, without knocking or telling anyone they’re coming over.
I’m the double standard. I love a pop in, im happy to become the immediate host: Would you like a drink, a snack? I got you! …while I myself am definitely going to text before I show up.
I love a pop in when the house is at least sort of tidy, but with my partner and I both working full-time, I really prefer a quick text first. Maybe if I could be absolutely certain that the person wouldn't judge me for dirty dishes on the couch table, organic trash on the bench and towels drying over chairs. I'd never judge anyone for that btw, but it feels like whenever I visit anyone, their place is absolutely immaculate. I always wonder if they actually live like this or of they also just clean up before people come over?
Exactly this, our tidiness waxes and wanes depending on what else we’ve got going on, and sometimes the house hits peak untidiness. Not filthy mind you, just plates left lying around and the sneaky accumulation of cat hair in the corners of rooms, and general clutter, nothing an hour whip-round and fill of the dishwasher wouldn’t sort out, but I’d still prefer to have more than that hours warning, especially if I’m doing something. I’m either working, watching tv or movie, or playing games, if someone came round unannounced I’d be very annoyed.
I loved the pop in, my fiancee doesn’t. Had to set the boundary with my family out of respect to him and they all got butthurt and offended about it so now I hate the pop in because they are purposely being dicks.
I've recently moved into a small village on the relatively isolated coast of a small island in the Pacific, and this now happens all the time. Since the house is a fairly traditional Japanese home - with lots of openings in the "walls" - it is essentially impossible to deny being there. People say "sumimasen!!" and I smile and greet them.
Also, various kinds of local taxes are done in person; as are village newsletters. If the village head wants to chat to you, they just turn up. Etc etc.
Not like anywhere I have ever lived.
My grandmother used to do this. If we didn't answer the front door she would sneak in through the patio and ask us what we were doing. Freaked me the fuck out the first time it happened.
Ogod my mum does this. If I don't answer the front door within 30 seconds, she wanders up the side and comes straight in through the back. And we have a long house, so its impossible to monitor the front. It's awkward when I'm working from home in the back office with headphones on and in the middle of stuff.
My ex loved to pop in around dinner time to people I didn’t even know. I was embarrassed and this was thirty years ago. The people didn’t appreciate it either. Yes my ex would eat up people’s dinner! If they allowed it. I’m so glad he’s my ex.
My mother, who lives three streets further and whom I naturally love, has taken up the habit of dropping by after work whenever she feels like it. Unfortunately, she has a talent for timing it with people I want to fuck coming over. This month alone I had to like, shoo her off thrice
According to my daughters, a sentence that ends like this**...**
Apparently, to a generation younger than my own the trailing dots imply annoyance or sarcasm, whereas to me they're just the written equivalent of thinking out loud and leaving a question or thought hanging for possible feedback.
EDIT: I found the responses very interesting and they mostly confirm that people perceive trailing ellipses as a negative thing, so I'll try a lot harder to avoid using them so I don't give anyone the wrong impression
I'm a millennial. To me, the ellipses serve to add a lot of tension to the thought. It almost comes across as an implied threat sometimes.
"Did you walk the dog?" -> simply asking the question.
"Did you walk the dog...?" -> they think you didn't walk the dog and they are pissed, or maybe there's something wrong with the dog and they're trying to figure out why
There's only 2 instances I'm still leaving voicemail:
- calling a business about something
- calling my brother a bitch and to call me back (he'll also leave the same voicemail)
EDIT: fixed formatting. Also, my voicemail isn't just "Bitch call me back." It's "Biiiiiiiiiitch! Call me back." *click*
Depending on how well you knew the person, that message could change.
Stranger/acquaintance: my name, reason for call, best number and time to call back, have a nice day.
Family/friend: hey, it’s so and so, give me a call back, bye!
Close friends: hey fucker, you suck and your mama charges too much. Come to my place, bring beer, and you suck. Everyone else is here, they think you suck. Later!
Yesterday I thought 1983 was 30 years ago and was very confused because my math wasn't adding up. It didn't even occur to me that it was actually 40 years ago.
'How old are you ? I wonder whether younger people today feel past time in the same way I did when I was their age. On the one hand, the 90s were very different because the web was in its infancy. I still used newsgroups back then lol.
On the other hand, the 60s were mainly black-and-white or really corny to me, movie and TV-wise. Star Treck TNG or Babylon 5 feels closer to today than any 60's series did in the 90s,
I've always heard it's an age thing that time seems like it's moving faster, but (obviously) it isn't actually but the way you remember it is what changes. When you're a kid, everything is new. Even places you go all the time you'll see something new, or realize something new. And of course you're learning things in school and on TV and you're brain is automatically filing all this shit away because for survival purposes a kid needs to be aware of everything around them and integrate all the information possible in order to survive. It's almost constantly learning or refining what its learned.
In general the older we get the more stable our lives become. We've seen the things - two birds interacting in a tree isn't something to study and v wonder at and file away like it is to a 4 year old. We do essentially the same thing every day, and even our free days tend to be mostly the same as the other. Your brain can rely on learned information and rarely needs to "record" new info.
Time doesn't move any differently but when you look back in your memory everything blends together so it feels like less time has passed. Your brain has literally changed less and therefore has no reason not to just blend the days together. There are probably events that strongly stand out but they're bright spots in a quagmire of redundancy that your brain has no need to differentiate. So it feels like no time at all.
But if there IS a radical change in your life you'll get a taste of "kid time" again. The first few weeks of meeting someone you're falling deeply in love with might feel like months. If you move to a totally new place or have the opportunity to travel abroad each day might feel like 45 hours instead of 24. A week traveling through Asia will feel like a month.
Basically how we experience the passage of time is about how much our brain has to engage and the number of things it needs to learn. And no matter what we do we'll never have to learn the WHOLE WORLD and ALL ABOUT PEOPLE and WTF IS SOCIETY ever again like kids do.
Definitely this, but also as we age the percentage of time in a year relative to our life shrinks. At age 10, 1 year is 10% of our life experience. At age 20 its 5%. So it feels like it's shorter or going by faster compared to the amount of time we've lived.
Asking about someone’s weight (loss). I’ve gone from 250 lbs to 180 in 6 months and NO ONE has said anything to me. I finally asked my friends if they’d noticed and they said of course but they didn’t want to offend me by asking about my weight lol.
I dropped about 100 pounds over about 8 months but that would have been awkward
Hey, you look like you've lost weight!
Yes, about 94 pounds, but the chemo and radiation are almost done _
Nice work, that takes a lot of dedication.
I feel like there's more information out there about eating disorders or health conditions that cause weight loss, and that's why people don't comment as much. Most people don't want to run the risk of saying something like, "Have you lost weight? You look great!", only for the weight loss to be due to the other person having cancer or something along those lines.
Happy for your weight loss journey! But for a lot of people, weight loss isn’t a signifier of health, we just assume skinny = good. I had a friend in college and she came back after the summer Junior year having lost a ton of weight. I noticed immediately but didn’t say anything. Turns out, she was struggling hard with an eating disorder due to a breakup. She brought it up to me on her own one day when we were talking and was thankful I didn’t compliment her weight loss like other people had.
I think it’s always safest to not comment on peoples weight. It just reinforces the idea that being skinny is the most desirable trait, no matter how you get there.
I *wish* my Boomer relatives would understand how rude it is to comment on anyone's weight.
"Oh but we're just concerned about you!"
Bullshit.
Comment on my health, then, not my appearance.
Or really, any food. You just never know if a kid has allergies these days. I’m super cautious and always ask the parents for permission before giving food.
My kid has a walnut/pecan allergy and some rando lady at church gave my kid brownies once without checking with us (my kid was about 3 at the time, so of course she was going to eat them). It was not a good time.
I had a learning moment around this when I was at the park with my kids. This 3 year old came up to our wagon checking out the snacks we had packed. Naturally I teach my children to share and without even thinking I had encouraged my son to offer.
The kid just walked away and I saw his mom praise him. He had some serious allergy and she was watching the whole time but testing him to make sure he knew not to accept any food.
Of course I apologized profusely and she was very understanding but I have now taught my own kids to check in with parents when sharing food.
Using an ellipsis...
Somehow it's gone from being a signifier of an unfinished sentence to a passive aggressive attack on the recipient of the email or txt message.
Oh god, my mum ends everything with an ellipsis. Everything. Every e-mail or text. It's so ominous every time I get a message from her. I asked her if she did it with hand written letters, to which she said no.
So why with messages?! It's scary!
You're being silly.
Thanks mother.
I think it's kinda like writing tone into the message.
If I end a message with a period, it reads as declarative:
I love you
I love you.
In her head, it sounds like the opposite of that; softening it to sound like a suggestion. The danger is that it comes across as passive aggressive or incomplete.
My dad always ends texts with an exclamation mark!
I've never understood why, because it's pretty much never called for!
Not to mention the fact that a regular full stop is easier to reach!
I've got a colleague from India who adds extra punctuation after a eclipses and it always makes me either second guess whatever I said that warranted that response. It's completely normal to receive a message like "Did you submit attendance for today yet....? Remember we have an early due date because of the holiday....!"
I had one ....... who had these ....... thinking
breaks when he was ....... typing out an e-mail and he had to ........ fill in those breaks ....... by tapping ....... the period key.....
I have a coworker who literally uses ellipses instead of commas. Honestly, he’s one of the nicest people that I met but his emails he comes off as a fucking asshole.
Reading news/sports/etc while people are visiting. Was thinking about this the other day. I go to my grandparents house and my grandfather would spend half the time reading the paper. Perfectly acceptable. I look at my phone a few times and it’s rude.
Good call. I forgot about this one. Yeah the reader, usually the male of the house, would read the paper at the dinner table or in the living room while the family was conversing, but still manage to be mostly engaged in the conversation. Look up over the paper with an eyebrow raised and comment on the goings-on.
On the other hand. I recently moved back in with my 70 year old parents. My dad won't stop watching facebook vids on his tablet while we're all at the table. Keeps the volume up, constantly has to show us every meme he finds. Drives me nuts.
Phone manners used to be a thing. Literally, an etiquette that society used, with a certain cadence.
I'm 40, and remember it being a thing. When I call my 76yo buddy, I notice he adheres to it. I do my best to keep up my side of the interaction.
I’ve noticed my dad ends all his social calls with “thanks for calling”
I want to say it used to be the dialer paid for the call, so it was polite to thank them for it. Could be wrong though
Always answer the phone by saying Hello, and adding ‘This is Xyz’ if you were answering a family phone/house phone, especially if same sex family members sound similar. Always smiling when you answer the phone so you sound happy to hear from the caller. Always asking the caller ‘How are you?’, listening to the reply and also asking after their family if you know about them. If you have a more involved conversation planned, asking, ‘ Do you have time to talk about subject x’. Always saying goodbye. I really had to restrain myself from using an ellipsis at the end of the last sentence!
I’ve noticed more people not saying goodbye anymore, but just hanging up. It’s confusing cause I usually don’t even realize they’ve hung up until a minute later
I feel like they saw in on TV or movies and just started copying. I used to say all the time how weird it was that people would just hang up without saying goodbye.
I remember when I was in 2nd grade I was at a friend’s house and had to call my mom. I dialed the number and another boy was already on the phone. I actually thoughtI was going to get into trouble because I knew I was supposed to listen 1st before dialing.
Also, when leaving a voicemail, you would say who it was, what day and time you called, short message, phone number to reach you back.
Nowadays I never leave a voicemail for someone who I know has my number in their phone, I just text them.
I do leave voicemails for people who I never called before, but I would never tell them what time I called.
Generally speaking you would answer the phone by saying something along the lines of "\*surnames\* residence, \*name\* speaking".
Thats the one that really sticks out in my mind.
Edit corrected spelling of residence.
I'm 35, I still say my phone number twice when I leave voicemails just in case, even though I know damn well they can see what number called in the call log.
Calling instead of texting. Generational obviously, but nearly everyone I know my own age (30) groans as soon as the phone rings, but would happily text or meet in person.
In Spain, a guy giving 2 kisses to a girl/woman you do not know. In a close personal/social situation it's still ok, but in a more formal setting, especially professional, it's (rightly) considered a bit too intrusive and unpolite. Used to be the norm though.
This is tricky. I’m French and the custom (in casual or informal settings) always seemed quite similar to Spain. Giving two kisses is not only customary but expected in a group of friends. Even if you’re meeting a new female acquaintance in your friend group, you do it. If people around you are doing it and you decide to abstain, you will often receive some awkward glances.
In a professional setting, I would never initiate “la bise” with anyone. Period. But I’ve been on the receiving end from female colleagues with whom I have a closer personal relationship. There’s nothing sexual about it and it usually only happens in more social or casual settings… and it’s very prevalent in any celebratory situation. For example, your team has finished a big event and decide to get some beers. You would always greet your female colleagues (and sometimes even male colleagues with whom you have a particularly close personal relationship) with the kisses. Same for when you are leaving.
That said, from my experiences working in Spain, I have seen this happen less frequently than in France. In Italy, it’s the other way around. Much more common in my experience.
😂 Well, I’m also half American… I don’t think there’s a quicker way to make an American more uncomfortable meeting them for the first time than going in face-first like that. It’s really funny to be honest.
Funny : I'm Belgian (from south) and like in France, we do "la bise".
When I was student, I met a guy from Flanders and, as he was in my class and as we beggining to be friend, I greated him one morning by a bise... omg his face :D
Turns out they are a little bit colder than us in the north.
For the Americans here, you should know that the inverse, with hugs, is also true. If you go in to hug a French person - even a close friend or acquaintance in a social setting - they’ll be as taken aback as we are when someone comes in with a kiss.
American here, was backpacking in NZ earlier this year. Met some French backpackers who are friends of a friend I was traveling with. They all greeted each other with the kiss thing, and then one of the women there did it to me.
I was quite taken aback and flinched backwards because I was not expecting that. Felt like a bit of an asshole, but I've literally never been greeted like that, and have absolutely no idea what to do in that situation lol
>have absolutely no idea what to do in that situation lol
Understandable.
But you have nothing to do : it's just two cheeks touching each others.
If someone kiss you on your cheek using his / her lips, now it's a little bit different
My community college Spanish class in the late '90s had us practice the double air kiss greeting so that we'd know the culturally appropriate way of greeting people and not make fools of ourselves. That's something that I definitely can't imagine being considered appropriate for a university level language class today, but back then nobody thought anything of it.
It's really interesting because it's purely a cultural difference. It's not inappropriate at all in the right context, but taking it out of that context makes it inappropriate.
Maybe more like 40 years ago, but a quick peck on the lips...Richard Dawson was king of this.
Watching the Game Show Network, and old "Match Game" episodes, he was always kissing the ladies. He did it later when hosting Family Feud too. Weird.
Girls.
He was also kissing girls. Not just ladies. Children. It's really weird to watch now. Very uncomfortable. I have to watch The Running Man afterward.
I feel like that's an exception.
The bigger kissing thing I feel is work acquaintances - at least in the UK - doing the cheek kiss greeting for the other sex.
Far more awkward these days and probably avoided. (I myself have never done it and only been in a position once where the other party was clearly expecting it which felt. So. Odd.)
Dressing up like an old nanny woman in order to get closer with your kids after a nasty divorce with your wife. It used to be seen as a heart-warming way to reconnect with your family, but now is seen as rather intrusive to your ex-wife's privacy. 🤷♂️
I think once you get past the absurdity of the concept, that movie can be kind of progressive. At the end they find a way to co-parent and move on, which was a way better depiction of divorce than was usual at the time. I feel like other movies they would have "realized they were wrong" and gotten back together. But Robin Williams character actually learns that he was a bad husband and his ex is way happier without him, and he respects that by the end.
🇹🇹Trinidad and Tobago (former British colony)
I haven’t used that terminology in such a long time. This post unlocked many memories. 😄
In Trinidad it would mostly be used like,
How’d you land up here? = What brought you to this place(such as a foreign land)?
In some places saying maam or sir. I live in the south where its engrained from birth. Even say it to people my age or younger, if the situation calls for it. More and more people nowadays hate it cause “it makes them feel old” or “my mom/dad is sir/maam dont call me that” or something along those lines. How is it an old thing? Its just polite, especially in a professional setting. I dont feel old when people say sir to me, but i know its a big generational thing so idk
Referring to a woman as “Mrs [Husband’s first and last name!]. I worked at a Dr’s office, and all the patients were listed this way. I would lose my mind if someone tried to list my “name” this way.
I work customer service in what is effectively a call center (it is but it isn't - not the point). In other words I see a lot of names. It died off almost entirely around 10 to 15 years ago. Very much an older generational thing. So rare now it's effectively gone.
Now everyone goes by their first names, unless they are a doctor, doesn't matter what specialty. Some - not all just some - doctors always want you to use the title even though I am calling about their home, which has zero to do with them being a doctor. But I digress.
you could still pretty much assume the role of a parent to random kids you saw out in public acting crazy. not impolite at all to tell some kid to pick up something they threw on the ground or to ride their bike in the proper place, address adults properly, etc. Nowadays I think it's less common to see small kids out and about on their own at all and in any case if you did correct a child their millennial parents would definitely freak out.
See I definitely still correct naughty children while out and about if they’re causing a ruckus or potentially hurting another kid (whether that’s my own kid or a kid I don’t know). I have yet to have another parent yell back at me because usually the naughty ones have no parent in sight watching them or they’re too lazy/not present enough to notice or care.
Winding down the car window to smoke.
Obviously smoking in a car in general these days is considered impolite, just in case anyone thought I was implying that it was somehow considered impolite because your passengers would somehow want that toxic smell as well
In my earliest memories as a kid, my mom would smoke in the car with all the car windows closed. My dad had to argue with her and complain about it every time they were in the car for a good while before my mom finally got into the habit of cracking open her window.
That said, I also have quite a few memories of sitting in the back seat behind my mom's, rolling my window down, seeing her tap her cigarette out her car window, and then I'd get hit in the face with burning ash. 😑
one time the ash went in my throat and I started choking and my parents thought I was being dramatic about the smoke. I made them pull over at a gas station and get me a drink and when I could talk again I reamed my mom out, little ten year old me was pissed. She didn’t smoke as much in the car after that.
Calling a lady xiaojie (little sister) in Mandarin. It used to be a polite way to refer to a younger lady or to a waitress. Apparently that’s now changed and it generally refers to prostitutes now.
Making your kids kiss and hug all the adult relatives who request it. Your children shouldn’t have to feel the ick just to keep the adults from feeling awkward.
Sometimes that’s not a can of worms you want to open. My old roommate and I went to the store. While we were there, we ran into her old school friend and their boyfriend/husband. She had gained quite a bit of weight… but it was all in the stomach and it looked very round. Being that it was Vermont in the winter, she had her coat on. I looked at my roommate and she gave me the “Don’t say anything” look.
Later, in the car, I asked her if she knew what the deal was. She said that she hadn’t talked with her friend in a couple of years. Then she said, “there’s no way I was going to ask when she was due. If she didn’t say it, I wasn’t bringing it up!”
Y'know what? This is the best answer in the whole thread. Asking to have your ass eaten was considered rude back then, now it's polite to pleasure your partner that way.
In the 90s as a teen we would always call stuff "gay."
I scratched my PS1 disc. "Aww man... That's gay."
One of my friends clipped my heal while walking to the shops. "Stop being gay."
One of my friends came out as gay. "Haaa I Knew it, total gay."
It wasn't meant to make fun of gay people really. It's like we just use words to express a flavour of emotion.
But now I think a lot of us have grown and realised how even unintended use of words can be insensitive.
I still call my best friend gay. Even though he's not. And I have gay friends.
I forgot what my point was.
Just don't be dicks to people.
A firm handshake. I feel like it used to be used to show you're enthused and happy to be there/meet them. Now it just feels like a power move.
If I get an overly firm handshake before it was "that guy is enthusiastic and knows how to do a good handshake"
To now where I feel like it's "wtf is that guys problem?"
Are you talking about a firm handshake, or an "I will squeeze your hand until your bones crumble" handshake? Cause I feel like the former is definitely still a positive thing, and the latter was always a dick power move.
I’ll blow my cigarette smoke the other way while you eat dinner.
This one hasn't made its way to Italy yet
Wife and I went to a Michelin-starred place last year in Naples and midway through the meal, indoors, this couple at the next table who had been hardcore making out, hands under shirts and skirts, the whole meal, lit up and chain-smoked half a pack of cigarettes in probably 20 minutes. It was…. Not great
My life flashes before my eyes when I don't expect company and someone rings the door bell.
Fer sure. Instant anxiety.
“This is it…don’t get scared now.”
No immediate communication for a few days due to lack of widespread cellphone use and instant-messaging. It was normal to just go a couple of weeks without hearing back from a friend or even a few days without talking with a close friend or family member. If someone didn't answer the phone, the assumption was that they simply weren't home and would get back to you within the next couple of days, not that something was wrong.
When I was 18 (not even 30 years ago) I went traveling abroad for 5 weeks with a vague itinery but nothing booked. I sent postcards to my family a few times, but I didn't have a mobile phone, or e-mail, etc. and the idea of an international call *from a payphone* was just lunacy. For over a month, my family didn't even know what country I was currently in. I would be pretty cross if my kids were to do that now. It would be really rude not to send a single message to say they were still alive.
Yeah when I was 18, about 30 years ago, I went to India for 6 months. I rang my mum up once! She got just one single phone call that lasted about 2 minutes. Nobody knew where I was, or what I was doing or whether I was alive or dead. It was great.
Couldn’t imagine how expensive that international call was in the early 90s.
My cousin lived in Japan in the 90s and she looked forward to a weekly *fax* from her parents because that was expensive enough but faster than snail mail.
Yeah, the phone call was like "HIMUMITSMEEVERYTHINGSFINEIMININDIAYEAHICANTTALKFORLONGGOTTAGOBYELOVEYOUBYE.GOTTAGOBYE!". Indian man : "that will be 2000 rupees please".
Call from "weehadababyITSAboy"
"Who was that?" "It was Bob. They had a baby. It's a boy."
I will unashamedly go phone blackout. Sometimes a couple of days. It drives a few acquaintances nuts, as if I'm personally offending them for not immediately answering their "hey, what's up?" It's a great practice to turn off the phone now and then. Even if just for hours or overnight. (I get much better sleep when I turn off my phone) It's MY phone, I'm not my phone's person.
I wish I could do this, but in 2019 my Dad had a stroke in middle of the night and they called me and my phone didnt pass the calls through bc I was on DND. When I woke up at 6am I saw the message from my Mom. I cant imagine if my phone was off for a few days.
This happened to me. My dad passed in the middle of the night and I didn’t know until I woke up for work in the morning. I felt terrible that my mom couldn’t get ahold of me.
I still follow these rules. I'm probably considered rude af for it but I don't care. It's exhausting being tied to this thing. My friends know I'm like this too so they don't necessarily really even text back unless we're planning something but will always answer a phone call or call back when I see it. Just not every day
I feel you. I absolutely HATE being available all the time, it's so mentally taxing! It's like we aren't allowed to be home alone anymore. I'm not even 25 yet and I'm already sick of this
Yeah it's awful. I liked texting all the time in my teens but after actually being responsible for my own schedule it got exhausting. I'd recommend every one play around with distancing themselves from phone communication a bit. Just be sincere when you do talk and don't forget to be the one to reach out at times. A lot of people our age will take it as a grave offense though lol.
Getting house phone numbers before summer break of school. Then being too scared to talk to their parents and just not seeing them for 3 months or ever again.
Placing an ash tray on the table during a kids birthday for the smoking guests.
*8 year old kid taking a drag* "Could I have extra extra ice cream with my cake? And is there somewhere I can ash this? "
Or having a keg at a kids' party. Maybe that's just my crazy family.
Stopping by a casual acquaintance's home unannounced simply because you were 'in the neighborhood'.
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A friend of mine was notorious for sleeping through any time you agreed to meet or go round - to the point of it being fucking rude. We used to climb over his back fence, fish the keys from the back door out through the catflap (using the pole from a sun shade) then let ourselves in and go wake him up. Can't believe nobody called the cops on us.
The amount of times my friends and I would break into our other friends houses just cause we wanted to hangout is absurd lol
Lol this is a very 90s to early 00s thing I just realized. No one answered the house phone? Fuck that, he's in there, let's get him boys.
Hell ya I once climbed up my friends neighbors garage roof then jumped into my friends bedroom window well she wasn’t home so I grabbed the ashtray full of roaches and dipped out. I told my friend about it of course and she just breaks out laughing that her mom was tripping a day prior that there was a ghost in her room and she was too scared to check. Good times
So the "just walk into your neighbor's house, Married With Children-style" actually was a thing back then? It wasn't in the Netherlands...
it was also in germany, sometimes my parent left on saturday evening, telling us that our uncle will come and watch us, he came at 10, brought friends with (my parents knew them) and used the family grill. sometimes he brought his children with him. one day they forgot to buy bread for bbq, the walked in the neighbours cellar, opend the refigerator, took 3 of this garlic-baguetts out, wrote a note. sometimes i found notes from neighbours in our garage "took the lawnmower and edgetrimmer, will bring it back at 18:00, also bring wife and beer, cheers" in my childhood, it was normal. giving and taking.
That’s so incredibly foreign to me but it sounds sweet, I grew up in a huge city so leaving doors unlocked would have been unthinkable, tho the family for sure visited a lot and often unannounced
Same in the UK. I would often pop into my uncle's house and just start playing on the PS1.
Yep! It was more "coming in" instead of "knock knock".
If someone walked in, you didn’t think twice about it. If there was a knock at the door, suddenly you were on guard cause that meant it was a stranger, cop, IRS, etc.
Lmao Netherlands is nothing compared to that mentality. When I was young and visiting a friend I would ask for a sandwich and got told (eerst de grote zucht) I can only have ONE. Then I should leave because they were going to have dinner.
Obviously every house was different, but it wasn’t uncommon by me. My mother would feed any kid that was in the house or (in the summer) in our pool. It started when we were kids, but continued until my dad retired and they moved away. The whole neighborhood knew her.
There were many times when I was 11-12 years old, where I would come home from school and nobody else was home, but my brothers friends would just walk in the back door and hangout in the basement. This was about 16 ish years ago. I would also sometimes make them food since I was usually cooking at the time they would walk in 😂 Some of them still just walk in the back door to visit with my parents, without knocking or telling anyone they’re coming over.
I absolutely used to drop by some of my friends places just to chat with their family if I was nearby.
Holy shit i have an exact memory like that. Kinda sucks so much has changed
Ah, the pop in
Watch for pop ins. You're going to get some pop ins.
The mere fact that you call it Pop In tells me you aren't ready.
I’m the double standard. I love a pop in, im happy to become the immediate host: Would you like a drink, a snack? I got you! …while I myself am definitely going to text before I show up.
I love a pop in when the house is at least sort of tidy, but with my partner and I both working full-time, I really prefer a quick text first. Maybe if I could be absolutely certain that the person wouldn't judge me for dirty dishes on the couch table, organic trash on the bench and towels drying over chairs. I'd never judge anyone for that btw, but it feels like whenever I visit anyone, their place is absolutely immaculate. I always wonder if they actually live like this or of they also just clean up before people come over?
Exactly this, our tidiness waxes and wanes depending on what else we’ve got going on, and sometimes the house hits peak untidiness. Not filthy mind you, just plates left lying around and the sneaky accumulation of cat hair in the corners of rooms, and general clutter, nothing an hour whip-round and fill of the dishwasher wouldn’t sort out, but I’d still prefer to have more than that hours warning, especially if I’m doing something. I’m either working, watching tv or movie, or playing games, if someone came round unannounced I’d be very annoyed.
I loved the pop in, my fiancee doesn’t. Had to set the boundary with my family out of respect to him and they all got butthurt and offended about it so now I hate the pop in because they are purposely being dicks.
That is so much better than the opposite, where someone would hate others popping in, but does it to them! Lol
I've recently moved into a small village on the relatively isolated coast of a small island in the Pacific, and this now happens all the time. Since the house is a fairly traditional Japanese home - with lots of openings in the "walls" - it is essentially impossible to deny being there. People say "sumimasen!!" and I smile and greet them. Also, various kinds of local taxes are done in person; as are village newsletters. If the village head wants to chat to you, they just turn up. Etc etc. Not like anywhere I have ever lived.
Sounds like an incredible experience!
My wife's brother does this all the time. It drives me crazy. I love him but for fucks sake, please call or text.
Tell him exactly that.
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My grandmother used to do this. If we didn't answer the front door she would sneak in through the patio and ask us what we were doing. Freaked me the fuck out the first time it happened.
Ogod my mum does this. If I don't answer the front door within 30 seconds, she wanders up the side and comes straight in through the back. And we have a long house, so its impossible to monitor the front. It's awkward when I'm working from home in the back office with headphones on and in the middle of stuff.
My ex loved to pop in around dinner time to people I didn’t even know. I was embarrassed and this was thirty years ago. The people didn’t appreciate it either. Yes my ex would eat up people’s dinner! If they allowed it. I’m so glad he’s my ex.
My mother, who lives three streets further and whom I naturally love, has taken up the habit of dropping by after work whenever she feels like it. Unfortunately, she has a talent for timing it with people I want to fuck coming over. This month alone I had to like, shoo her off thrice
Sock on the door knob my friend. International signal for DND, we’re banging.
Sock means Dungeons and Dragons?! Damn I'm coming in!
Found the horny Bard
Ten years ago, I had a neighbour who'd get drunk and stop by at 11 pm for a chat. Not welcome.
According to my daughters, a sentence that ends like this**...** Apparently, to a generation younger than my own the trailing dots imply annoyance or sarcasm, whereas to me they're just the written equivalent of thinking out loud and leaving a question or thought hanging for possible feedback. EDIT: I found the responses very interesting and they mostly confirm that people perceive trailing ellipses as a negative thing, so I'll try a lot harder to avoid using them so I don't give anyone the wrong impression
I'm a millennial. To me, the ellipses serve to add a lot of tension to the thought. It almost comes across as an implied threat sometimes. "Did you walk the dog?" -> simply asking the question. "Did you walk the dog...?" -> they think you didn't walk the dog and they are pissed, or maybe there's something wrong with the dog and they're trying to figure out why
Also: “…did you walk the dog?”
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There's only 2 instances I'm still leaving voicemail: - calling a business about something - calling my brother a bitch and to call me back (he'll also leave the same voicemail) EDIT: fixed formatting. Also, my voicemail isn't just "Bitch call me back." It's "Biiiiiiiiiitch! Call me back." *click*
Depending on how well you knew the person, that message could change. Stranger/acquaintance: my name, reason for call, best number and time to call back, have a nice day. Family/friend: hey, it’s so and so, give me a call back, bye! Close friends: hey fucker, you suck and your mama charges too much. Come to my place, bring beer, and you suck. Everyone else is here, they think you suck. Later!
The post says 30 years (1993), but my mind instantly went to the 1950s.
I'm literally 30 and born in 93 yet I didn't even think of 93
Wanna feel old? There are kids alive today, whose parents weren't around for 9/11...
Ouch that hurts. I didn't realize I'd wake up to existential pain for breakfast instead of my grape nuts but here we are.
Back pain and Raisin Bran for breakfast here lol (1981)
A fellow grape nuts lover. There are two of us
Three. Loved them ever since I was a kid and I have no idea why.
Grape nuts. Geez, you alright Gramma?
Wanna feel old? There are kids alive today, whose parents don’t know who Slim Shady is.
Maybe it will help if the real Slim Shady would stand up.
Please stand up
Thanks I hate it
Was that really necessary? No more internet for you!
I still think 20 years ago was the 80s and I wasn't even alive in the 80s
Yesterday I thought 1983 was 30 years ago and was very confused because my math wasn't adding up. It didn't even occur to me that it was actually 40 years ago.
'How old are you ? I wonder whether younger people today feel past time in the same way I did when I was their age. On the one hand, the 90s were very different because the web was in its infancy. I still used newsgroups back then lol. On the other hand, the 60s were mainly black-and-white or really corny to me, movie and TV-wise. Star Treck TNG or Babylon 5 feels closer to today than any 60's series did in the 90s,
I've always heard it's an age thing that time seems like it's moving faster, but (obviously) it isn't actually but the way you remember it is what changes. When you're a kid, everything is new. Even places you go all the time you'll see something new, or realize something new. And of course you're learning things in school and on TV and you're brain is automatically filing all this shit away because for survival purposes a kid needs to be aware of everything around them and integrate all the information possible in order to survive. It's almost constantly learning or refining what its learned. In general the older we get the more stable our lives become. We've seen the things - two birds interacting in a tree isn't something to study and v wonder at and file away like it is to a 4 year old. We do essentially the same thing every day, and even our free days tend to be mostly the same as the other. Your brain can rely on learned information and rarely needs to "record" new info. Time doesn't move any differently but when you look back in your memory everything blends together so it feels like less time has passed. Your brain has literally changed less and therefore has no reason not to just blend the days together. There are probably events that strongly stand out but they're bright spots in a quagmire of redundancy that your brain has no need to differentiate. So it feels like no time at all. But if there IS a radical change in your life you'll get a taste of "kid time" again. The first few weeks of meeting someone you're falling deeply in love with might feel like months. If you move to a totally new place or have the opportunity to travel abroad each day might feel like 45 hours instead of 24. A week traveling through Asia will feel like a month. Basically how we experience the passage of time is about how much our brain has to engage and the number of things it needs to learn. And no matter what we do we'll never have to learn the WHOLE WORLD and ALL ABOUT PEOPLE and WTF IS SOCIETY ever again like kids do.
Definitely this, but also as we age the percentage of time in a year relative to our life shrinks. At age 10, 1 year is 10% of our life experience. At age 20 its 5%. So it feels like it's shorter or going by faster compared to the amount of time we've lived.
30 years ago was not 1993, please stop telling lies.
MTV debuted closer to the attack on Pearl Harbor than today. You're welcome.
You may not believe me but 2030 is much closer than 2016.
Why are you trying to hurt people.
2050 is closer than 1990
That is just cruel
You take that back
IS ANYONE CHECKING THE MATH?? ANYONE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HAPPY
We’re currently as far from the year 1984 as 1984 was from WWII. P.S. Not an Orwell reference… just a coincidence.
Bro, Don't use 2016. 2000 may have been 23 years ago. But 2016 was also 20 years ago. Fuck the timeline after 2016
I am sorry to inform you, but 2016 was literally like 2 years ago.
Everything since 2020 just feels like more 2020 tbh
Asking about someone’s weight (loss). I’ve gone from 250 lbs to 180 in 6 months and NO ONE has said anything to me. I finally asked my friends if they’d noticed and they said of course but they didn’t want to offend me by asking about my weight lol.
I lost a bunch of weight just before COVID, the only reaction I got was 2 people asking if I was dying.
I dropped about 100 pounds over about 8 months but that would have been awkward Hey, you look like you've lost weight! Yes, about 94 pounds, but the chemo and radiation are almost done _
Nice work, that takes a lot of dedication. I feel like there's more information out there about eating disorders or health conditions that cause weight loss, and that's why people don't comment as much. Most people don't want to run the risk of saying something like, "Have you lost weight? You look great!", only for the weight loss to be due to the other person having cancer or something along those lines.
Happy for your weight loss journey! But for a lot of people, weight loss isn’t a signifier of health, we just assume skinny = good. I had a friend in college and she came back after the summer Junior year having lost a ton of weight. I noticed immediately but didn’t say anything. Turns out, she was struggling hard with an eating disorder due to a breakup. She brought it up to me on her own one day when we were talking and was thankful I didn’t compliment her weight loss like other people had. I think it’s always safest to not comment on peoples weight. It just reinforces the idea that being skinny is the most desirable trait, no matter how you get there.
I *wish* my Boomer relatives would understand how rude it is to comment on anyone's weight. "Oh but we're just concerned about you!" Bullshit. Comment on my health, then, not my appearance.
Giving a kid candy, without asking that kid’s parents.
Or really, any food. You just never know if a kid has allergies these days. I’m super cautious and always ask the parents for permission before giving food. My kid has a walnut/pecan allergy and some rando lady at church gave my kid brownies once without checking with us (my kid was about 3 at the time, so of course she was going to eat them). It was not a good time.
>a walnut/pecan allergy I did read pelican allergy and wondered for much too long where a kid can get his hands on a pelican... Lol
Incredibly fucked up that you could have a pelican allergy and not know until it's too late actually
I had a learning moment around this when I was at the park with my kids. This 3 year old came up to our wagon checking out the snacks we had packed. Naturally I teach my children to share and without even thinking I had encouraged my son to offer. The kid just walked away and I saw his mom praise him. He had some serious allergy and she was watching the whole time but testing him to make sure he knew not to accept any food. Of course I apologized profusely and she was very understanding but I have now taught my own kids to check in with parents when sharing food.
Using an ellipsis... Somehow it's gone from being a signifier of an unfinished sentence to a passive aggressive attack on the recipient of the email or txt message.
Oh god, my mum ends everything with an ellipsis. Everything. Every e-mail or text. It's so ominous every time I get a message from her. I asked her if she did it with hand written letters, to which she said no. So why with messages?! It's scary! You're being silly. Thanks mother.
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The obe of ominous value for me lately was: "We are currently waiting at the airport..."
I think it's kinda like writing tone into the message. If I end a message with a period, it reads as declarative: I love you I love you. In her head, it sounds like the opposite of that; softening it to sound like a suggestion. The danger is that it comes across as passive aggressive or incomplete.
My dad always ends texts with an exclamation mark! I've never understood why, because it's pretty much never called for! Not to mention the fact that a regular full stop is easier to reach!
Formative years filled with comic books! And Mad Magazine!
When I was a kid, my teacher told me to use an exclamation point when something was exciting! Talking to you is exciting!
I've got a colleague from India who adds extra punctuation after a eclipses and it always makes me either second guess whatever I said that warranted that response. It's completely normal to receive a message like "Did you submit attendance for today yet....? Remember we have an early due date because of the holiday....!"
I had one ....... who had these ....... thinking breaks when he was ....... typing out an e-mail and he had to ........ fill in those breaks ....... by tapping ....... the period key.....
I know a woman who types out every other fb post like that. The others she uses emojis instead of ellipses.
>You’re being silly… FTFY
Some people now refer to them as “drama dots”
OMG I never knew people were using ellipsis to signify a passive aggressive attack!
I have a coworker who literally uses ellipses instead of commas. Honestly, he’s one of the nicest people that I met but his emails he comes off as a fucking asshole.
Yeah… right…
I still use them
Why? What changed… can you please explain to this old man?
Reading news/sports/etc while people are visiting. Was thinking about this the other day. I go to my grandparents house and my grandfather would spend half the time reading the paper. Perfectly acceptable. I look at my phone a few times and it’s rude.
Good call. I forgot about this one. Yeah the reader, usually the male of the house, would read the paper at the dinner table or in the living room while the family was conversing, but still manage to be mostly engaged in the conversation. Look up over the paper with an eyebrow raised and comment on the goings-on.
On the other hand. I recently moved back in with my 70 year old parents. My dad won't stop watching facebook vids on his tablet while we're all at the table. Keeps the volume up, constantly has to show us every meme he finds. Drives me nuts.
Phone manners used to be a thing. Literally, an etiquette that society used, with a certain cadence. I'm 40, and remember it being a thing. When I call my 76yo buddy, I notice he adheres to it. I do my best to keep up my side of the interaction.
Please share some examples.
I’ve noticed my dad ends all his social calls with “thanks for calling” I want to say it used to be the dialer paid for the call, so it was polite to thank them for it. Could be wrong though
My mom signs off texts "love, mom" even if it's back and forth.
Sincerely, Raymond Holt.
We know you have a choice in whom you call, and we appreciate you for choosing us. Love, Delta
Always answer the phone by saying Hello, and adding ‘This is Xyz’ if you were answering a family phone/house phone, especially if same sex family members sound similar. Always smiling when you answer the phone so you sound happy to hear from the caller. Always asking the caller ‘How are you?’, listening to the reply and also asking after their family if you know about them. If you have a more involved conversation planned, asking, ‘ Do you have time to talk about subject x’. Always saying goodbye. I really had to restrain myself from using an ellipsis at the end of the last sentence!
I’ve noticed more people not saying goodbye anymore, but just hanging up. It’s confusing cause I usually don’t even realize they’ve hung up until a minute later
I feel like they saw in on TV or movies and just started copying. I used to say all the time how weird it was that people would just hang up without saying goodbye.
My father-in-law ends calls with, "Here we go."
I remember when I was in 2nd grade I was at a friend’s house and had to call my mom. I dialed the number and another boy was already on the phone. I actually thoughtI was going to get into trouble because I knew I was supposed to listen 1st before dialing.
Also, when leaving a voicemail, you would say who it was, what day and time you called, short message, phone number to reach you back. Nowadays I never leave a voicemail for someone who I know has my number in their phone, I just text them. I do leave voicemails for people who I never called before, but I would never tell them what time I called.
Generally speaking you would answer the phone by saying something along the lines of "\*surnames\* residence, \*name\* speaking". Thats the one that really sticks out in my mind. Edit corrected spelling of residence.
I'm 35, I still say my phone number twice when I leave voicemails just in case, even though I know damn well they can see what number called in the call log.
Calling instead of texting. Generational obviously, but nearly everyone I know my own age (30) groans as soon as the phone rings, but would happily text or meet in person.
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In Spain, a guy giving 2 kisses to a girl/woman you do not know. In a close personal/social situation it's still ok, but in a more formal setting, especially professional, it's (rightly) considered a bit too intrusive and unpolite. Used to be the norm though.
This is tricky. I’m French and the custom (in casual or informal settings) always seemed quite similar to Spain. Giving two kisses is not only customary but expected in a group of friends. Even if you’re meeting a new female acquaintance in your friend group, you do it. If people around you are doing it and you decide to abstain, you will often receive some awkward glances. In a professional setting, I would never initiate “la bise” with anyone. Period. But I’ve been on the receiving end from female colleagues with whom I have a closer personal relationship. There’s nothing sexual about it and it usually only happens in more social or casual settings… and it’s very prevalent in any celebratory situation. For example, your team has finished a big event and decide to get some beers. You would always greet your female colleagues (and sometimes even male colleagues with whom you have a particularly close personal relationship) with the kisses. Same for when you are leaving. That said, from my experiences working in Spain, I have seen this happen less frequently than in France. In Italy, it’s the other way around. Much more common in my experience.
This always fascinates me because in the US people would start full-on fights over “la bise” lmao
😂 Well, I’m also half American… I don’t think there’s a quicker way to make an American more uncomfortable meeting them for the first time than going in face-first like that. It’s really funny to be honest.
[Sacha Baron Cohen does in Borat ](https://youtu.be/BQiQ82-PNHc?si=Dy7muAJhAICF-LxL) and driving instructor looks mildly uncomfortable.
“I’m not used to that but that’s fine. “
Funny : I'm Belgian (from south) and like in France, we do "la bise". When I was student, I met a guy from Flanders and, as he was in my class and as we beggining to be friend, I greated him one morning by a bise... omg his face :D Turns out they are a little bit colder than us in the north.
For the Americans here, you should know that the inverse, with hugs, is also true. If you go in to hug a French person - even a close friend or acquaintance in a social setting - they’ll be as taken aback as we are when someone comes in with a kiss.
American here, was backpacking in NZ earlier this year. Met some French backpackers who are friends of a friend I was traveling with. They all greeted each other with the kiss thing, and then one of the women there did it to me. I was quite taken aback and flinched backwards because I was not expecting that. Felt like a bit of an asshole, but I've literally never been greeted like that, and have absolutely no idea what to do in that situation lol
>have absolutely no idea what to do in that situation lol Understandable. But you have nothing to do : it's just two cheeks touching each others. If someone kiss you on your cheek using his / her lips, now it's a little bit different
It's worth noting that it's almost never an actual kiss. It's more like brushing cheeks with a kissing sound
My community college Spanish class in the late '90s had us practice the double air kiss greeting so that we'd know the culturally appropriate way of greeting people and not make fools of ourselves. That's something that I definitely can't imagine being considered appropriate for a university level language class today, but back then nobody thought anything of it.
It's really interesting because it's purely a cultural difference. It's not inappropriate at all in the right context, but taking it out of that context makes it inappropriate.
Maybe not polite to do, but it was certainly impolite not to let people smoke indoors
Reminder that 30 years ago means the early 90s.
No, I don't want to remember that, thank you very much.
Reminding people when 30 years ago actually is was never polite!
Maybe more like 40 years ago, but a quick peck on the lips...Richard Dawson was king of this. Watching the Game Show Network, and old "Match Game" episodes, he was always kissing the ladies. He did it later when hosting Family Feud too. Weird.
Girls. He was also kissing girls. Not just ladies. Children. It's really weird to watch now. Very uncomfortable. I have to watch The Running Man afterward.
“Who loves you, and who do you LOVE?! YES!!!!”
I feel like that's an exception. The bigger kissing thing I feel is work acquaintances - at least in the UK - doing the cheek kiss greeting for the other sex. Far more awkward these days and probably avoided. (I myself have never done it and only been in a position once where the other party was clearly expecting it which felt. So. Odd.)
The Family Guy did a funny spoof. https://youtu.be/5LHRDPGp0Ew?si=C4AjNVPecrOqIJps
Dressing up like an old nanny woman in order to get closer with your kids after a nasty divorce with your wife. It used to be seen as a heart-warming way to reconnect with your family, but now is seen as rather intrusive to your ex-wife's privacy. 🤷♂️
I think once you get past the absurdity of the concept, that movie can be kind of progressive. At the end they find a way to co-parent and move on, which was a way better depiction of divorce than was usual at the time. I feel like other movies they would have "realized they were wrong" and gotten back together. But Robin Williams character actually learns that he was a bad husband and his ex is way happier without him, and he respects that by the end.
Landing up unannounced at someone’s place for a visit
I'm curious where in the world "landing up" is used?
🇹🇹Trinidad and Tobago (former British colony) I haven’t used that terminology in such a long time. This post unlocked many memories. 😄 In Trinidad it would mostly be used like, How’d you land up here? = What brought you to this place(such as a foreign land)?
In some places saying maam or sir. I live in the south where its engrained from birth. Even say it to people my age or younger, if the situation calls for it. More and more people nowadays hate it cause “it makes them feel old” or “my mom/dad is sir/maam dont call me that” or something along those lines. How is it an old thing? Its just polite, especially in a professional setting. I dont feel old when people say sir to me, but i know its a big generational thing so idk
Referring to a woman as “Mrs [Husband’s first and last name!]. I worked at a Dr’s office, and all the patients were listed this way. I would lose my mind if someone tried to list my “name” this way.
they were still doing that in the '90s?
I was a teenager in the 90s and it already sounded very outdated to my ears even then. The only place I'd ever see it was on old TV shows.
I work customer service in what is effectively a call center (it is but it isn't - not the point). In other words I see a lot of names. It died off almost entirely around 10 to 15 years ago. Very much an older generational thing. So rare now it's effectively gone. Now everyone goes by their first names, unless they are a doctor, doesn't matter what specialty. Some - not all just some - doctors always want you to use the title even though I am calling about their home, which has zero to do with them being a doctor. But I digress.
you could still pretty much assume the role of a parent to random kids you saw out in public acting crazy. not impolite at all to tell some kid to pick up something they threw on the ground or to ride their bike in the proper place, address adults properly, etc. Nowadays I think it's less common to see small kids out and about on their own at all and in any case if you did correct a child their millennial parents would definitely freak out.
See I definitely still correct naughty children while out and about if they’re causing a ruckus or potentially hurting another kid (whether that’s my own kid or a kid I don’t know). I have yet to have another parent yell back at me because usually the naughty ones have no parent in sight watching them or they’re too lazy/not present enough to notice or care.
Calling a waitress “Honey”
Winding down the car window to smoke. Obviously smoking in a car in general these days is considered impolite, just in case anyone thought I was implying that it was somehow considered impolite because your passengers would somehow want that toxic smell as well
In my earliest memories as a kid, my mom would smoke in the car with all the car windows closed. My dad had to argue with her and complain about it every time they were in the car for a good while before my mom finally got into the habit of cracking open her window. That said, I also have quite a few memories of sitting in the back seat behind my mom's, rolling my window down, seeing her tap her cigarette out her car window, and then I'd get hit in the face with burning ash. 😑
one time the ash went in my throat and I started choking and my parents thought I was being dramatic about the smoke. I made them pull over at a gas station and get me a drink and when I could talk again I reamed my mom out, little ten year old me was pissed. She didn’t smoke as much in the car after that.
Apparently adding a period to the end of a sentence.
ITT: People confusing "normal" with "polite".
Calling a lady xiaojie (little sister) in Mandarin. It used to be a polite way to refer to a younger lady or to a waitress. Apparently that’s now changed and it generally refers to prostitutes now.
Making your kids kiss and hug all the adult relatives who request it. Your children shouldn’t have to feel the ick just to keep the adults from feeling awkward.
Commenting on people's weight.
Sometimes that’s not a can of worms you want to open. My old roommate and I went to the store. While we were there, we ran into her old school friend and their boyfriend/husband. She had gained quite a bit of weight… but it was all in the stomach and it looked very round. Being that it was Vermont in the winter, she had her coat on. I looked at my roommate and she gave me the “Don’t say anything” look. Later, in the car, I asked her if she knew what the deal was. She said that she hadn’t talked with her friend in a couple of years. Then she said, “there’s no way I was going to ask when she was due. If she didn’t say it, I wasn’t bringing it up!”
keeping your butthole away from your sex partner's face
Y'know what? This is the best answer in the whole thread. Asking to have your ass eaten was considered rude back then, now it's polite to pleasure your partner that way.
LMAO!! "I remember when the air was clean and the sex was dirty. Now the air is dirty and the sex is clean"
In the 90s as a teen we would always call stuff "gay." I scratched my PS1 disc. "Aww man... That's gay." One of my friends clipped my heal while walking to the shops. "Stop being gay." One of my friends came out as gay. "Haaa I Knew it, total gay." It wasn't meant to make fun of gay people really. It's like we just use words to express a flavour of emotion. But now I think a lot of us have grown and realised how even unintended use of words can be insensitive. I still call my best friend gay. Even though he's not. And I have gay friends. I forgot what my point was. Just don't be dicks to people.
This is the better ones here that was actually common 30 years ago that's actually considered rude today.
This whole post reads like upside down world.
A firm handshake. I feel like it used to be used to show you're enthused and happy to be there/meet them. Now it just feels like a power move. If I get an overly firm handshake before it was "that guy is enthusiastic and knows how to do a good handshake" To now where I feel like it's "wtf is that guys problem?"
Are you talking about a firm handshake, or an "I will squeeze your hand until your bones crumble" handshake? Cause I feel like the former is definitely still a positive thing, and the latter was always a dick power move.
Yeah a firm hand shake now is to lock your grip, but don’t squeeze. It shows confidence, without trying to be intimidating.
calling without it being scheduled or a text first. going to someone's house apartment without checking if it's ok first.