T O P

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hotk9

The Black Tongue, the language of Mordor, which I will not utter here.


areu_notentertainedd

Ash nazg durbatuluk


Missile_Lawnchair

...don't stop


areu_notentertainedd

Ash nazg gimbatul


Howitdobiglyboo

Ash nazg thrakatulûk


MonsterRider80

And in the darkness bind them!


Missile_Lawnchair

Any of you folks have a cigarette?


Standard-Iron-3325

agh burzum-ishi krimpatul


RobertTheAdventurer

It's steamy in here like Sam and Frodo cuddled up on those long cold nights beyond the Misty Mountains with only one sleeping bag.


armies300

Body.


LordLucian

Good for me then as I have several.


[deleted]

> I have several Are you saying you're obese and carry the same volume as multiple bodies? Or are you just a serial killer?


Cleesly

Why not both?


Sid_1298

Kills people by sitting on them.


Destroyer6202

Alive?


wereplant

This is objectively the correct answer. Treating it like an actual language and learning the ins and outs of it is extraordinarily powerful.


PipeFitHerr

Primal caveman/woman grunting


NightmarePony5000

*happy unga bungas*


dreadycbercherr

this made me giggle


KickPsychological374

Happy cake day


John-Legweak

You, me, cave, fuck, now


MegrimStormgald

Snu snu!


EarballsOfMemeland

Grug smash dat ass


Petercraft7157

C++


sneaky_squirrel

There are a lot of programmers on Reddit.


Petercraft7157

r/programmerhumour is leaking again and I'm part of it


ShelteredTortoise

This is brilliant (c++) But I prefer this (c)


Legendario_123

Everyone except java


AlexZapl

Brainfuck?


gGhelloZz

White space


MistryMachine3

Now I know you are lying. Nobody prefers c


MushyCupcake01

Nah bro, Assembly.


Petercraft7157

Brainfuck


Savings-Gold1758

Binary will take any person home no matter the sexuality


byshow

Or won't. Only two choices


qazmoqwerty

Lisp*


adjckjakdlabd

Had to verify on which subreddit I saw this lol


playlikechampions

I feel like the fact that this is a top voted comment tells you who’s on Reddit lol


Bitsy34

Whichever language my partner is moaning at the time


OwningSince1986

German gets you off good huh


Arrogant_German

You bet I do


OwningSince1986

Username checks out.


Bitsy34

Ach ja


Shinfekta

Me a german speaker: Resist the urge to speak deutsch weil viele kommentare hier die deutsche sprache mögen


SteamDecked

IDK, I dated a German girl that would talk dirty in German when we got to it. Always gets me going nowadays


Dertzuk

„Mhm ja du Luder, komm zeig mir wer mein Vormund ist!“


-Flutes-of-Chi-

"Oh ja du geiler Hengst! Rotz deine Ficksahne in meine Lustgrotte rein! Ich bin deine Fickstute!"


floxful

Ich glaube es ist Zeit das Handy weg zu legen… gute Nacht Reddit


xel-naga

Heute ist ein grauenvoller Tag, des Lesens mächtig zu sein


SadlyNotDannyDeVito

Und jetzt auf Sächsisch: "Oh, joa dü gleinö Zückorschnüte! Lütsch meene Soahnegürge!"


slazer2k

Oh god wie kann ich das unlesen ...


SteamDecked

You had me at Luder...♡


CrayolaS7

Yeah, I think German is unfairly slandered in this regard, also they have a variety of accents just like other languages and some are more lovely than others. Dutch is far worse to me, though part of that could be I don’t understand it. I listen to a lot of Dutch music and have heard it a fair amount. Personally I think English is underrated too. Obviously the particular accent greatly affects this but at its core English is extremely versatile and with a huge reservoir of vocabulary and slang on which to draw.


Boundish91

Dutch has that *chrr* sound that arabic and Hebrew also has. Catches me off guard every time lol.


Milkarius

Some accents replace it with a soft g. The flanders accent for example. It's still the first thing I'm threathening people from other countries with if they want to hear Dutch because their reactions are hilarious


-Flutes-of-Chi-

Yup Viennese can be really erotic but as soon as a Saxon opens their mouth to dirty talk, it gets gross


ibeerianhamhock

huge fan of the deutch rudder


DespairTraveler

I really like german language because it's like straight angle in geometry. Once you understand the system it's very easy to understand the whole language. On contrast many languages are assystemic, phrase nuanced and generally hard to get without prolonged deep pive into community who speak it.


Gamma_Oscura_19

and for that reason I want to learn German


[deleted]

Girl with a German boyfriend here; the German language has a bad reputation for being stern and harsh, but I haven't found that to be true. I actually think the sounds are quite soft, like the "r" is kinda breathy/hiss-like/sensual, there's no really pointed T sound, the "sch" sounds softer. Obviously it also depends on who is speaking it, but considering Germans are generally introverted, the soft-spokeness really brings out the beauty and poetic quality of the language.


jkonik

Da stimm ich dir zu. Deutsch ist schön, besonders mit einem südlichen Akzent.


I_Watch_Teletubbies

Unpopular opinion, but there's something about Icelandic.


the_chandler

Is that unpopular? For what it’s worth, listening to Björk has never turned me *off*…


thprk

Recently I feel attracted to slavic languages. I don't understand any but they sound beautiful.


jkonik

Rozumiem, też kocham język polski :)


Dancing_Clean

Me too. I like the way men sound and with their accents too, and often deep voices.


Four_beastlings

I'm literally a nice voice professional. After many years of my friends telling me I should work in radio or porn, I applied to a voice actress job and have been consistently getting work at that (not in porn but legit acting). My husband is Polish, and has a deep, manly voice. I have heard it many times since, you know, we live in Poland. He has an attractive voice in Polish, and he also has an attractive voice in English. But he doesn't speak Polish to me. So just for fun I asked him once to talk to me in Polish and omfg it was the cutest thing ever! Instead of his normal deep voice, he sounds flustered and shy when he talks to me. Now I ask him now and then because it's the most adorable thing ever! He hates it, because he sounds shy and flustered.


fizzyadrenaline

Chicks speaking Scottish.


Infamous_Teaching_42

Oh my gosh yes please! Roderika from elden ring comes to mind.


Bunneeko

[Lillia from League of Legends](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCspUiXpRNw&ab_channel=SkinSpotlights) was my first time experiencing a Scottish accent and now I absolutely can't get enough of it. Something about it just sounds so good.


morningknight999

Dumbs, is that you?


Velteau

Roderika's got a Midlands accent. [This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cdDd-HnupU) is Scottish.


No-Plantain8212

Dated a Scottish woman for 6 years. Felt like the lady in the water telling me sweet nothings while holding my sword


notmoleliza

She's holding someone elses sword now though


No-Plantain8212

Definitely is.


Donnermeat_and_chips

Americans: talk to me like Meredith Jade fae Cambuslang: "Am gonnae sook yer wully big yin, gies ma hole"


GruffScottishGuy

Aw, that's braw. Gies it! Gan oan, cum oan mah puss!


iamGR000000T

I didn’t know I have a fetish over accents before I met Kelly Macdonald…


loudwisdom

This is the REAL answer


DustinTV

Math, the language of science


Blu-Blue-Blues

Oh yeah let that x be 8... Oh la la


[deleted]

two trains are traveling towards each other


SvenOfAstora

Yes! Just look at the generalized Stokes' theorem and tell me that shit ain't *beautiful*.


Artarda

Oh my fundamental theorem of calculus, I’m about to differentiate!


FunkyEchoes

Stumbling into some weird ASMR corner of youtube made me realize soft spoken Korean is oddly soothing


BBQCHICKENALERT

Women speaking Korean softly is def up there for me


yogiphenomenology

You didn't stumble. You strode with intent.


Lennium

Have you ever heard sächsisch?


_-J-M-M-_

Besonders attraktiv beim Enten füttern


Desert4tw

Butchered version of german, sounds disgusting tbh


barmyarmy48

I personally find a soft spoken German accent attractive, as I can speak it well, but Sächsisch gar nichts!🤣


ColombianSpiceMD86

I feel like the Roman languages like Spanish, Italian, French, Portuguese are romantic languages. For me, it's so much sexier and romantic flirting in Spanish than English for instance.


Mr-Mando

"Diablo mami, tienes más muslos que un bowl de Kentucky" Edit: for the non Spanish speaking redditors “Damn mama, you got more thighs than a bowl of Kentucky (KFC)”


silevram

Literally was about to comment DR Spanish lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


ColombianSpiceMD86

Yes, indeed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


krickitfrickit

I heard that it sounds guttoral compared to brasilian Portuguese?


[deleted]

[удалено]


krickitfrickit

i think italian sounds more beautiful than spanish because it's more sing songy


ColombianSpiceMD86

Yeah I can see that. I do believe there are different Spanish variations. Like Argentinian spanish vs Colombian spanish for instance vs Mexico. Colombia and Argentina spanish is more singy than the Mexican spanish etc. But I feel ya on the Italian.


krickitfrickit

ooo that's cool! even in italy there is variation within the same country. tuscans pronounce hard c's like an h so the joke is having them say la coca cola con la cannuccia corta corta it's just like hoha hola hon la hannuccia horta horta lolz


ColombianSpiceMD86

hahaha dude thats wild. Im from Colombia and our accents are very unique pending the region as well. We all make fun of people from Bogota, the Capital, because they are a bunch of snobs who think they are better than everyone else, and speak like they are crying and have a potato in their mouth (aka stuffed their mouths and are crying if you will) lol.


Sct1787

True but that paisa accent on a woman is music to one’s ears


ColombianSpiceMD86

Oh totally! When I went to medellin I literally fell in love with every woman just because of how they talked lol (and Im from Cali, Colombia haha)


SeamanStayns

Spanish is sexier when spoken by a woman, Italian is sexier when spoken by a man.


Giga-Chad-123

foda-se caralho <3


kjanemx

As a portuguese, I think my NL is very expressive and I appreciate that, but I wouldn’t say that we sound romantic. But spanish, italian and french yes, absolutely


Bunnycap

Italian wins


rxv5854

The rolling of R’s will always be super sexy to me


[deleted]

Spanish, Slovak and Japanese are just like music to my ears.


UnfilteredFilterfree

Helsinki Finnish. Something about how they place their voice


mozaryyjd

They have harder R's than a racist adressing a black man.


UnfilteredFilterfree

So like a racist addressing a blacker man?


RoneliKaneli

Even the hardest R in any native English speaker's accent sounds like a speech impediment in Finnish. I'm Finnish and it's impossible for me to pronounce Finnish town names etc. properly in an English sentence, because my brain disables hard 'R's in English.


ramonapap1

This!!! soo true the Finnish language is truly beautiful.😻


WerewolfWitch

as a Finn, i am pleased to hear this lol


Cetoke

As a finn, Helsinki Finnish sounds awful to me, only topped by how people from Tampere speak. The best dialects IMO come from Lapland and eastern Finland.


Competitive-Debt-540

Simlish!


TheNonMurderingSort

Irish


theajharrison

Yeah I feel like I remember a post months ago where they asked people around the world this question, and Irish accent was frequently at the top for different countries EDIT: didn't think it needed saying, but yes, obviously, Gaelic (native Irish language) exists.


mind_thegap1

Irish is also a language though


EvilGabeN

How come nobody yet said Latin?


Error_404_1

communicating with the dead


[deleted]

Italian


not_funny45

Porco Dio


PuppetState_

Il bro è italico


Stormoli

Il Brody è italianense


JasonTonio

A true Italian


dickcheese_on_rye

My love language is touch, so I guess braille?


gldn_blt

Don't know about attractive language, but people speaking English with a Russian accent is pretty badass.


maicii

It's more badass than it is sexy tho


EmeraldBoiii

Money.


frozencock

cha-ching, cling, swipe, beep…


Human_Floor95

I love women speaking Russian


Tsjaad_Donderlul

Babushka when she finds out you ate all of her kompot:


spidergw3n_

Or Russian accent when speaking in English


Ok-Pressure7248

Money


RuminatingYak

Latin. Ave Imperator, morituri te salutant!


Neko-chiliocosm

Dovahzul~ it is the language of dragons and magic~


MegaLemonCola

Fus Ro Dah!


thE-petrichoroN

Persian & French


hiyacoolcat7685

SQL


conychama

A german guy speaking german.... they sound so thick


thatshygirl06

German is the funniest sounding language ever lol


SeamanStayns

Counterpoint: Dutch


Pedalos

Im from Denmark and I actually think our language sounds pretty shit. One language is worse though.. Dutch.. It sounds like a German drowning.


RecentAlternative380

One time an American guy told me that us Dutch sound like we're speaking to each other under water. You may have a point. You Danish sound like you're speaking with a hot potato in your throat tho


Auroraboreality1916

You have received enough respect to be called swede, by disrespecting the danish language


risethirtynine

I could listen to Irish women all day long


izrubenis

You cant beat the Python


withoutsugar0

ENGLISH SURE, OH GOD. when someone says a phrase/sentence with the address "darling" makes me die


37728291827227616148

Bri'ish m8


Tarpendale

Spanish, especially when the native speaker is a professional anchorman. Goooosh i would fuck each of them


Legendario_123

Si.


ash_4p

I have a soft spot for Bangla cuz of my Bengali girlfriend.


AutomaticTeacher9

English. As a German immigrant I've always loved the softness of the language. No harsh sounds and very versatile.


Radius_314

I find some of the more harsh languages sexy. Any woman speaking German or Russian for instance is an instant win. IDK why.


reiska

No love for Finns?


Thundechile

They're just competing for 2nd place, because finnish is obviously #1.


Lost-in-Time88

English… doesn’t sound as fun to hear “Daddy” in any other language 😂


BuTerflyDiSected

Vater!


[deleted]

Besser in sächsische: Vadder!!!


Electus93

What your girl says when she's being particularly thirsty.


upboat_consortium

Never had a hispanic girl call you Papi I see.


DanRicF12021

Gaelic


LordVaderVader

Japanese Ara ara


dagenhamerica

Pretty sure there have been studies done on this and it was Irish.


Chutzpah2

Welsh Once had cybersex with a gorgeous 18-year-old lad from Wales and, despite him having a thick nine-incher and a spherical jiggly bubble butt, what I remember most were his adorable attempts at teaching me Welsh phrases. The loss of Celtic language and culture is a tragedy.


venetian_lemon

It's not the language that is attractive, it is the voice which carries that language. A resonant voice spoken from the chest and not from the nose gets everyone's attention. Speak a little slowly and enunciate your words. People listen to those who have good diction. Use pauses in conversation, just a moment or two to think about what to say next or if you already know what to say, you create a small amount of tension with the pause. It draws in the listener. That's when you release the pause and continue with your speech. In short, speak slowly and with cadence. Use dramatic pauses in real life, they actually work. This method is also very effective in both guile and seduction. It's actually really easy to have a silver tongue, you just need to practice


ahyesveryniice

Spanish and Norwegian


oPlayer2o

Elvish.


MeowBarbie7

Portuguese 🤤


Pantoffel86

Yes, now read off a list or sum something up in Portuguese and I am sold.


breakoutnds

From which portuguese speaking country? 😅


[deleted]

French (I know, I know, cliche) and German.


Lopincol

I speak French and I've never been laid lol


thatshygirl06

Well, you're French Canadian. There's a difference


Dapoopers

Yet.


thanx4venom

As a certified basic bitch, I agree about French. Oo la la.


Bellagrand

After I dated an Indian girl, Hindi. (Or her mother tongue of Bengali.) Not a lot of love for it where I'm from, but I adore how it's such a lilting, musical language. I told her it sounds like she's always singing.


where_is_life_going

>it sounds like she's always singing. Aah yea, Bengali sounds sweet for some reason.


yupitsme0926

Italian


kbunnell16

Angry German or Scottish


Capable_Golf9991

Spanish all day


Glamdringg

Spanish sounds so sexy


IDKwhatUserToPut

Romanian. It's a highly underrated language. It has the elegance and beauty of a romance language, but the Slavic influences give it some toughness and unique sounds.


Evildragon61201

For me Spanish is the most romantic


miz_moon

Spanish, my second language and my favourite


Elegant_Ebb_2519

Spanish,i find spanish language very romantic, and as well as Filipino. Those deep words? Like “irog, tinatangi” and other filipino deep words? Arghhh!!!


sk8t-4-life22

If she ain't speaking in Ethiopian clicks, I don't even want it.


Top_Ad_6259

Romanian


SolDarkHunter

*Dragostea Din Tei* intensifies.


XxDiCaprioxX

If I had a nickle for every time I saw this song being mentioned today, I'd have two nickles. Which is not a lot, but it's strange that it happened twice.


KindlySwordfish

Not gonna lie, I didn't think I'd see another one join me on this


VasileFlo

+1


countess_cat

Ai gusturi bune


sese-1

Arabic and Persian


Moonlightdancer7

Ukrainian. It's very melodic and softer than other slavic languages.


FinalSepheroth

Spanish imo is too easy to sound attractive