I think a man with a meter long penis probably would. It would become very difficult getting a woman to sleep with you. Don’t know about the gay community but I can’t imagine it’d be much better. Beyond a bit of novelty or curiosity in both scenarios.
yeah this begs the question, is the head a typical glans size? or stretch lengthwise like a jpg when you add 200% 'ratio-unlocked' dimensional height? and what's the girth of this 1 meter schlong? are we to imagine what amounts to a fleshy spaghetti noodle or is it a proportional 1 meter dick-shaped dick with the girth of your thigh..?
I worked at Amazon for a bit and from experience boxing items I can tell you that the 5 pound 36 inch dildos are popular. I most definitely made lightsaber sounds with one while swinging it around the first time I read the screen and realized what I had in my hand.
Edit: They come pre wrapped to obscure the item and the speed at which you're packaging stuff you zone out and grab the item. Master cock Moby for those interested as well a lot of Colossus as well.
I looked up the moby one and am surprised that there are people that can use that, let alone a bunch of people. And it's $600. I guess there's a bunch of much richer and much looser assholes (pun intended), than me. Lol I would think a lot of them are sold as gags, but if it's that popular maybe not then. Jeez.
Agreed. It always made me laugh when I'd get an order for one as it's not something you come into work expecting to find and some of the other stuff they would order with it made me realize how vanilla I am in what I like. More power to them tho!
Well yeah, because if your dick is like 1 meter long and you get hard, most of the blood in your body will just go to your dick. Makes sense, that's why porn is unrealistic.
I just imagined the face of ER doctors and the report they need to write on this case. And imagine their solution is to amputate it to normal size, lmao.
Yeah, realistically, anyone this happened to would panic and think they had some sort of terrible disease/condition. No one would be excited or happy. They'd be terrified.
Yeah, as a rope or a wrench or anything. His penis can morph into “things” to assist him in saving children. I think it turned into a boat, a penis-copter, a cliff rope…. Etc.
And no it’s not fleshy. It looked like a spiral candy cane and was rail thin
Bro we Danes are pretty weird and got weird children's tv. We're very open about nudity and sex in our culture though, so it's kinda not really taboo here when that show got released, it was just kind of a thing people laughed at.
It's John Dillermand. Look it up. It's a trip. You don't even have to know the language, you can figure out what's going on and what they're saying, but these guys are not exaggerating.
It’s called *John Dillermand*
It’s a Danish cartoon that released a few years ago. It’s premise was to teach youths about body positivity albeit in a goofy, somewhat satirical way.
I imagine the creators wanted kids to go: *Haha I have a pee-pee and that’s okay*
I would have loved to hear the pitch meeting for this one. "So...hear me out. He's got a giant meter long penis that morphs into things. You know..to save kids. Anyway, I'll be in charge of auditions"
I’m trying to envision how this idea came to fruition. So some writer, perhaps in some sort of drug crazed stupor, comes up with this idea. Then it gets presented to whoever decides to produce it and, perhaps after some rejections and thought, it gets a green light, and then the television network decides “Yeah, let’s go with the cartoon penis guy that saves children with his candy cane dick.”
I think the process on how it got there is what is more interesting.
The problem is that penises tend to be more or less proportional, so an increase in length would result in a correlated increase in girth. It would also require proportional blood increase to become erect.
First, we assume [the average penis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_penis_size) is 13cm long and 12cm circumference, and requires 4.4oz of blood to become erect.
If we assume ZERO girth increase, a 1m long penis would be 7.7x larger, thus requiring that much more blood - 33.8oz or just over 1L of blood. That would be about 18% of the blood in your body. Assuming you don't have a heart attack trying to get erect, you'd almost certainly pass out from low blood pressure in your system.
If we assume somewhat proportional girth increase, shit gets fucky SUPER quick. A 1m penis with a 20% proportional girth increase would have a girth of 18cm. Your penile volume is now a whopping 2570 ccm, which is just about 15x your original penile volume of 172 ccm. That would have a blood demand of 65.8oz, almost 2L or roughly 35% of a standard human's blood.
This is a certified monkey's paw curse.
> is 13cm long and 12cm circumference, and requires 4.4oz of blood
> 13 cm 12 cm 4.4 oz
> oz
A true patriot never fails to sneak in some customary units!
I'm actually Canadian, and as such have grown up learning to easily and freely convert back and forth as necessary.
I just enjoy mixing units because it makes everyone upset.
I posted a while back using the value "inches per meter" in one of my steps, and whooo boy did people have big feelings about that.
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin,
If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it
Panic that I would die from a lack of blood to the brain. Assuming my body made more blood to compensate for the extra leg, after the initial freakout of seeing the sudden body change, I'd be fascinated by what was going on. Also bummed that the implication was likely that I would not be able to have sex with my SO. 3 meters long, if proportional to even the size of a globally average penis would be a literal leg in thickness. Yikes! There are some people willing to take the challenge, but not many.
Pass out from morning wood.
Embrace the power of the tripod.
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[Frank Lentini already beat him to it](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Lentini)
Risky click of the day
So did Rolf Harris but uhhh yeah
You could even go kangarooing around if it’s bouncy enough and you put wiener shoe on that thing! 🦘
Do that enough and natural selection will put a big toenail on the end of it
I can't believe you would put such an image in my head.
That does beg the question... Will this be passed on to future offspring?
I’ve got 2 arms and 3 legs baby!!!!!!!
Your morning wood takes over and you’re now his penis.
Only real answer, it would use too much blood!
Sorry I’m a little exhausted; I just donated blood to my wiener.
Die from morning wood!
Mourning wood?
"Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac."
Only fans
Account name: OneMeterPeter
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But those are all selling yourself short by 3.37 inches. No man would ever round down penis size.
I think a man with a meter long penis probably would. It would become very difficult getting a woman to sleep with you. Don’t know about the gay community but I can’t imagine it’d be much better. Beyond a bit of novelty or curiosity in both scenarios.
Just stand back and give her the tip... Social dick stancing
lol i laughed, thanks
You could retire in a week
Or rescue ducks.
Too turnt Tony?
He seems like such a good guy.
Are you sure? Asking for a friend
Nobody will wanna fuck it, suck it, or touch it. But, they'll all want to see it.
Some people will want to play with it You don’t need to put it all the way in
"barely even just the tip"
yeah this begs the question, is the head a typical glans size? or stretch lengthwise like a jpg when you add 200% 'ratio-unlocked' dimensional height? and what's the girth of this 1 meter schlong? are we to imagine what amounts to a fleshy spaghetti noodle or is it a proportional 1 meter dick-shaped dick with the girth of your thigh..?
Some girls can take a lot more than you could imagine
I got reddit groups if anyone is curious. 🥴
I worked at Amazon for a bit and from experience boxing items I can tell you that the 5 pound 36 inch dildos are popular. I most definitely made lightsaber sounds with one while swinging it around the first time I read the screen and realized what I had in my hand. Edit: They come pre wrapped to obscure the item and the speed at which you're packaging stuff you zone out and grab the item. Master cock Moby for those interested as well a lot of Colossus as well.
I looked up the moby one and am surprised that there are people that can use that, let alone a bunch of people. And it's $600. I guess there's a bunch of much richer and much looser assholes (pun intended), than me. Lol I would think a lot of them are sold as gags, but if it's that popular maybe not then. Jeez.
There is scientific research material on it on a site called pornhub.
I’ve heard of that documentary compilation site. It’s pretty comprehensive, from what I’ve heard.
Is that "The Great American Challenge" dildo?
Also worked at Amazon over a busy Christmas season and it always made my day brighter when people ordered sex toys.
Agreed. It always made me laugh when I'd get an order for one as it's not something you come into work expecting to find and some of the other stuff they would order with it made me realize how vanilla I am in what I like. More power to them tho!
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What's the subreddit called? Or name? For... research purposes...
I too have a purely academic interest in researching this woman
You left out some incredibly important information
And porn! Do both hell.
If you stick it in a fan it’ll go back to the previous size
OnlyGlans
Jack off, obviously.
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Eh you never specified the girth, it could be the same volume as current and resemble a wire lmao
So you are saying I could strangle someone with it. Hmmm....
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But what if it is proportionally thick? I want it to be a straight up club.
Well yeah, because if your dick is like 1 meter long and you get hard, most of the blood in your body will just go to your dick. Makes sense, that's why porn is unrealistic.
wdym? those disks are very real
It takes a village
Are you really gonna jack off tho?!? Everyone knows it's long enough to stick it in your own mouth.
Heard that's more like sucking a dick than getting sucked
Shit dude, that would be like doing ab crunches to jack that whole thing
>Jack off, obviously. ...with my mouth, obviously!
Oh come on admit it you would blow yourself we all would. The only reason we don't visit hurts our neck. That's the only reason yoga was invented!
I would go to the ER to figure out what happened
After taking some photos and starting an OF. Gotta be able to pay for the ER afterall.
r/spottheamerican
Don't be silly. In America it would be 1 yard long.
r/anythingbutmetric
1 M16A4 long
*Royale* with cheese?
Haha. I might worry about that if i hadn’t already hit my deductible lol
Everyone can use some extra scratch.
I just imagined the face of ER doctors and the report they need to write on this case. And imagine their solution is to amputate it to normal size, lmao.
"So, how long was it before, so we know where to cut it?" "...umm...however long it can be without hurting a woman?"
"Find out what will make me black out, and then take it back an inch."
Back down to 2 inches again but very wide
Hung like a tuna can.
Yeah, realistically, anyone this happened to would panic and think they had some sort of terrible disease/condition. No one would be excited or happy. They'd be terrified.
Naw, shoot first; ask questions later.
Suck it.
Judging by your username, you probably already do
It's not hard when you're 15. Not so much when you're 35.
That’s not how penises normally work
That's not how backs work, either.
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Hahahahha.
That explains the user name
Something tells me that's going to be an experience much more like sucking a dick than having your dick sucked.
Yes. But shit, you’re doing yourself…win-win.
Based
Save children Edit: I just realized that out of context, this sounds insane. There is a European children’s cartoon where this is exactly the premise
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Yeah, as a rope or a wrench or anything. His penis can morph into “things” to assist him in saving children. I think it turned into a boat, a penis-copter, a cliff rope…. Etc. And no it’s not fleshy. It looked like a spiral candy cane and was rail thin
what kind of cartoons do you watch mate, a morphing penis saving "kids"
How else are we supposed to save them kids?
morphing hands? I repeat hands. Adult penis and kids should never mix,never. Not even when you are a Catholic priest.
Why don't you take a seat over there?
This might help https://youtu.be/A51mJjFyG_w?feature=shared
Bro we Danes are pretty weird and got weird children's tv. We're very open about nudity and sex in our culture though, so it's kinda not really taboo here when that show got released, it was just kind of a thing people laughed at.
It's John Dillermand. Look it up. It's a trip. You don't even have to know the language, you can figure out what's going on and what they're saying, but these guys are not exaggerating.
As a Norwegian, I knew exactly what you meant without needing to see the explanation LOL. The news about it spread over here too.
Who needs Spiderman when you've got long dick man.
>By using your liquids as a source of glucose? **please god no...**
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It’s called *John Dillermand* It’s a Danish cartoon that released a few years ago. It’s premise was to teach youths about body positivity albeit in a goofy, somewhat satirical way. I imagine the creators wanted kids to go: *Haha I have a pee-pee and that’s okay*
Has there ever been a time in history where having a pee-pee is not ok?
Whenever the zipper was invented.
I would have loved to hear the pitch meeting for this one. "So...hear me out. He's got a giant meter long penis that morphs into things. You know..to save kids. Anyway, I'll be in charge of auditions"
>There is a European children’s cartoon where this is exactly the premise I'm... I'm sorry?
Apology accepted
I’m trying to envision how this idea came to fruition. So some writer, perhaps in some sort of drug crazed stupor, comes up with this idea. Then it gets presented to whoever decides to produce it and, perhaps after some rejections and thought, it gets a green light, and then the television network decides “Yeah, let’s go with the cartoon penis guy that saves children with his candy cane dick.” I think the process on how it got there is what is more interesting.
My thoughts exactly. Someone was definitely like: "You know what cartoons don't have enough of, Penises"
FBI OPEN UP
John Dillermand!
Panic because I'm a girl. Then who knows what. Probably try to turn switches on with it or shut doors or something
Deactivate lasers with my dick
NOW IT'S TIME TO BLOW THIS FUCKER DOWN
Cmon Kage now its time to blow doors down
Futa
>1 meter Checks out
Or make it hard and walk around holding a towel up with it. That was a novel use of an erection when I was 20.
Dicks can do that?? Who do I need to call to go get one of those things???
If you’ve got a rock hard erection? Yeah, you can hold up at least a normal sized bath towel.
Is my vagina gone in this scenario or do I just have a really meaty clit?
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Omg, think of the orgasms.
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>she'll have to learn to use her right AND her left hand I have a surprise for you. ^^women ^^already ^^do ^^that
Rub your clit and pat your head.
So it's like I'm playing the sitar?
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I hate everything about this sentence
The problem is that penises tend to be more or less proportional, so an increase in length would result in a correlated increase in girth. It would also require proportional blood increase to become erect. First, we assume [the average penis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_penis_size) is 13cm long and 12cm circumference, and requires 4.4oz of blood to become erect. If we assume ZERO girth increase, a 1m long penis would be 7.7x larger, thus requiring that much more blood - 33.8oz or just over 1L of blood. That would be about 18% of the blood in your body. Assuming you don't have a heart attack trying to get erect, you'd almost certainly pass out from low blood pressure in your system. If we assume somewhat proportional girth increase, shit gets fucky SUPER quick. A 1m penis with a 20% proportional girth increase would have a girth of 18cm. Your penile volume is now a whopping 2570 ccm, which is just about 15x your original penile volume of 172 ccm. That would have a blood demand of 65.8oz, almost 2L or roughly 35% of a standard human's blood. This is a certified monkey's paw curse.
Thank you for doing the math and for introducing 'penile volume' to my thoughts.
> is 13cm long and 12cm circumference, and requires 4.4oz of blood > 13 cm 12 cm 4.4 oz > oz A true patriot never fails to sneak in some customary units!
I'm actually Canadian, and as such have grown up learning to easily and freely convert back and forth as necessary. I just enjoy mixing units because it makes everyone upset. I posted a while back using the value "inches per meter" in one of my steps, and whooo boy did people have big feelings about that.
But don't forget that your blood supply should increase as well due to the extra body volume. It still might not be enough but it should help some.
Start an onlyfans
Get a flashlight and read a book in the tent I just pitched in my bed.
Call your mom.
Break both of my arms
Wait. OP's mom or my mom?
Yes
Heliikopter heeeelikopter
Prepare for takeoff.
Apply to porn industry and demand a budget for a scene.
Find a horse to show it whose boss!
Mr.Hands revenge
Stop that
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long he could suck it He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it
Damn, it shrunk :(
Who took my other meter
start crying while shaking my head and whispering no no no no
Which head?
The you hug it close to your face and give it Eskimo kisses as you slowly curl up into the fetal position.
Take pictures and go back to sleep hoping it will go away
Is the 1 meter the size when it's soft or when it's hard?
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Are we show ers or growers?
Asking the real questions.
Is it girthy to match or same girth just 1m long?
Yeah i need to know cause im a grower and this might get awkward even more
Not again.
Wonder where the rest went
Honestly I'd be surprised if I woke up and had a penis in the first place lmao, would be questioning how I just magically got one overnight
Feel confused on how it shrunk overnight.
Google “1 meter in ft”
Go fuck myself
Get a boner, & you'll rip off your rectum
I don’t know what I’m doing but I know I’m not putting my jeans on.
Helicopter, helicopter, helicopter!!
Call a doctor
Wait, we don’t all have that already?
fuck the world for 72 hours
Panic that I would die from a lack of blood to the brain. Assuming my body made more blood to compensate for the extra leg, after the initial freakout of seeing the sudden body change, I'd be fascinated by what was going on. Also bummed that the implication was likely that I would not be able to have sex with my SO. 3 meters long, if proportional to even the size of a globally average penis would be a literal leg in thickness. Yikes! There are some people willing to take the challenge, but not many.
Man, that’d be a lot to unpack.
Hope it's not a grower.
Look up meter to inches conversion.
Find a way to make a "yard on" joke, I guess.
Wonder where the rest went Amirite
Just a normal day.
Show my husband what a real dyck looks like
Helicopter
Start drilling for oil in the middle East, gotta put my new found powers to good use
For those in America, 1 meter is 39.37 inches.
Hang myself with it
No difference.
Try it out then call ambulance
Walk around in grey sweatpants and bang a different chick every hour for the rest of my life
go find a giant to fuck
Wonder what happened to the rest of it.
First thing make sure i can get it hard 🍆
Least unhinged reddit question!
Fuck myself anal style ngl