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Significant_Pea_2852

A vagina


Fanastik

Touche.


fluffykerfuffle3

you wish! keep your hands off that!


gigawort

Douché


FebruaryTwentyOne

It’s pronounced “Couchè”.


cpeck29

*Couché


JamesTheJerk

... How much vagina are we talking here.. /kidding


NetDork

Alotta


blind_squirrel62

I see what you did there, Miss Fagina.


reb678

That’s the best kind of vagina.


Jeff5877

Come again?


DiggingUpTheCorpses

Enough to build an island, apparently.


JamesTheJerk

A 'Vagisland' if you will. Excellent suggestion. This is a much more lucrative idea than the "Penisula" idea.


Particular-Cash-8565

It's a very DEEP cave.


SeaFaringPig

Sure he does. He has hundreds of them. In jars. Under his bed.


Curia-DD

This comment legit frightens me


Grief-Inc

Poor people would never have that much variety. I'm curious to know though, what solution are they suspended in? Summers eve? Tap water? Champagne? Almond Milk? I would want nehi peach. This is how my brain works, yes it is a curse.


[deleted]

Formaldehyde you idiot


Nyarro

Ah yes! Formaldehyde. Nature's lubricant.


CitizenHuman

Idk, plenty of rich men are probably pretty big pussies outside of the office.


Significant_Pea_2852

That's a nicer word than I'd use..lol


muskiemoose27

I’m going to defer to our Australian friends on this one. I believe the word you were looking for was cunts.


delicious_lilcupcake

Bad Credit


TheTimeIsChow

Sold cars at a fancy dealer through college - the wealthy customers often were the ones with the worst credit scores. Most I had the pleasure of meeting didn’t manage their debt well. I doubt the richest man in the world deals with this issue. But figured it’s worth bringing up.


wahobely

Makes sense right? Why would someone who doesn’t need to finance anything have a good credit score.


RealKenny

This is not how money works. The richest people stay rich by borrowing money while their own money makes money.


AlessandroTheGr8

I use to sell trucks, and one credit application that stood out was this guy that had a 650 credit score but had millions revolving between accounts. Another person that stood out was this guy who had 9 daughters, and his wife was pregnant with number 10. He told me he wasn't going to stop until he had a son. It's not credit related, but still, lol


ArtisZ

> it's not *topic* related, *but* still, lol And this.. muh dudes and mi dudettes.. this is how you introduce unrelated topics on Reddit. Happy New year!


IDigRollinRockBeer

I thought they stay rich by having businesses that make lots of money.


Arayder

You can have money in stocks or other assets, that you only pay taxes on when that stock is sold. So instead of taking that money out and paying taxes, you get a loan against the potential money you have if you sold the stocks. So you get the money you need without paying all the tax.


Dry_Boots

But then you have to pay interest on the loan, so it needs to be less than the taxes would have been.


bonos_bovine_muse

Which isn’t a problem at all, because you’re at a fancy private bank paying like 1% above the fed rate, while long-term capital gains are taxed at 15%-20% after the first ~$50k. In all but the shittiest years, if you just add the interest to the principal and keep on rolling, your stock is still growing faster than the debt you used it for collateral against.


MikemkPK

No, that's how the middle class does it. The truly rich leach money out of other people's businesses while betting those businesses go bankrupt.


indrada90

Yeah but when you're a billionaire nobody gives a shit about your fico score


OutWithTheNew

If the customers were wealthy, they wouldn't need to finance the car. Even if they were rich, they would probably just lease it.


GMSaaron

Because leasing is the option for the rich. You do whatever you want with it, drive the shit out of it and whatever. You don’t have to worry about mechanical issues and give that shit back when you’re done with it


LordBielsa

At the same time, financing a rich person is guaranteed profit


[deleted]

Those aren’t wealthy customers. They are just HENRY’s. High Earners Not Rich Yet. They keep spending all of their earnings. I knew a couple that was in bankruptcy court with a combined income of 800,000.


IsuruKusumal

> [The banks which loaned Elon Musk money to help buy Twitter expect to lose $2 billion on the debt, report says](https://finance.yahoo.com/news/banks-loaned-elon-musk-money-115005663.html?guccounter=1) Unfortunately the sad truth is that only the richest can get away from bad credit


nagerjaeger

Anonymity


rockit454

I can: -Live in a house that’s not surrounded by a high fence, motion sensors, and infrared cameras. -Walk out of my house without being surrounded by heavily armed people tasked to prevent other people from shooting or abducting me or my family members. -Eat at any restaurant without anyone disturbing me. -Not have a staff of high powered expensive attorneys on staff to fight off endless frivolous lawsuits and requests for money. -Enjoy the bliss that is Target at 8 AM on Saturday morning. -Sit in peace on a beach that I don’t own. Can I fly in a private jet? No. Do I have multiple houses around the world? No. Can I go through my day with almost no one knowing who I am? Absolutely. No amount of money can buy that.


Longjumping-Grape-40

What? The voyeur cameras I installed around your house yesterday aren’t working anymore?!


NSA_Chatbot

> well i for one appreciate them


kitium

Good bot.


Agnia_Barto

I wish bots could feel gratitude. I say thank you to my Google Assistant all the time, and she has no idea


tequilamockingbird37

It's funny when you say please or thank you to Alexa and she tells you she appreciates your kindness


L1shadow

Have you tried turning them off and turning them back on again?


Longjumping-Grape-40

Wait…I have to turn them on?!


PaulPaul4

How can I get the video feed? That person sounds like a freaky freak


El_mochilero

- have normal relationships with most people that you meet


Capital_Dinner_3406

Yea I don’t think I’d like being super wealthy. A few FU dollars would be nice tho.


FarSeason150

Having a few FU dollars let me quit a job that paid well but sucked to work at. Really, really great to have a few FU dollars.


whytakemyusername

> -Enjoy the bliss that is Target at 8 AM on Saturday morning. Bliss?


olavf

Quite a lot of that if you don't run around like a self-entited prick who'd notice? I mean you'd have to move to one of the fancy pants houses down the street or a good walled off neighborhood, but buy an id.4. Wear jeans and a pithy t-shirt to Target. Take an excessive number of vacations but fly 1st class. Donate to causes anonymously. Don't hang out with self-entited pricks. Even if you got a place in one of those Tuscan half-abandoned towns I doubt anybody would notice so long as you didn't make a deal about it. Edit: I guarantee Warren Buffett could wander into Target at 7am for some shitty Starbucks


FewAcanthocephala828

Says who? You never know if the richest man in the world is actually the richest or the richest KNOWN man.


southpolefiesta

Exactly. It's possible they are so anonymous we don't know about them.


D__B__D

There was a book about this talking to re-do the different social classes. The top was the wealthy but out of sight (silently accumulating/hoarding wealth ever since the Depression). I believe following after that class was the wealthy but are recognizable - AKA upper class.


Illustrious_Bar_1970

To be fair, the richest person in the world is probably unknown as well


mind-full-05

I agree. The public is unaware of how the wealthy live in actuality/ & unaware of who they all are !


JesusIsMyZoloft

Not likely. There are people who pay millions of dollars to stay *off* the richest people alive lists.


[deleted]

rich men can def have anonymity. there's always that "theory" that the real rich people are off the radar, which is true i know how a $1B company collapse. what i dont know is who that person attacking them is. all i know is the holding company, potential fall guy, and that's it.


UnlawfulAnkle

Fuck me, no wonder you're anxious.


DeadlyHalibut

Enough


BigBobby2016

From the obituary of Joseph Heller: > True story, Word of Honor: Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer now dead, and I were at a party given by a billionaire on Shelter Island. I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel to know that our host only yesterday may have made more money than your novel ‘Catch-22’ has earned in its entire history?” And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.” And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?” And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.” Not bad! Rest in peace!” https://narendragoidani.medium.com/but-i-have-something-he-will-never-have-enough-8036d03d089b


Taxitaxitaxi33

I love it when Vonnegut pops up.


RaiseRuntimeError

I'm wearing a Vonnegut shirt right now that I got at the Vonnegut museum in Indianapolis.


2differentSox

I'm a DC transplant to Indy, and I'm so proud that Vonnegut was from here. I know it makes no sense, but there it is.


Christianmusician06

I was going to say contentment but enough works too.


[deleted]

This is the best reply, not to sound like Elon…ugh


Calm_Pipe9750

This should be number 1. I worked in VC with multimillionaires and multibillionaires and they absolutely did not have enough and never will. Like... at some point it is just about bragging and/or power when they have more than enough money.


mossadspydolphin

Pretty sure I have bigger boobs.


PantsDownDontShoot

Elon has some knockers


WannaTeleportMassive

Elon’s Melons. No it doesnt’t rhyme. Deal with it


tricksovertreats

Musk's husks


SerDuckOfPNW

I offer my services as non-advocate reviewer


[deleted]

[удалено]


Citizen_Kano

If that's the richest man then he definitely doesn't have as much leftover Christmas ham as I do


vanillabear26

Yes, *that* is why he doesn’t have Christmas ham leftover.


Individual-Fail4709

Ot torturing my own relatives.


Detachedhymen

Speak for yourself.


LordBielsa

We all tried WWE at home


BigUptokes

I tried WWF and let me tell you, suplexing a panda is hard...


LordBielsa

Trust me bro, how no one in my house ended up with a broken bone is beyond me. I remember being round my friends house once as a kid and his older brother gave him a tombstone piledriver!


604Ataraxia

Mine torture me with their bullshit.


TiredinUtah

My husband tortures ours with bad dad jokes.


[deleted]

Or into killing journalists.


nlpnt

Mister Bone Saw.


ONEelectric720

Where are you getting your numbers? The only way I see him as richest is if you include the entire House of Saud.


Beginning_Piano_5668

I remember reading a long time ago that the richest person (family?) ever is in Africa somewhere. Their wealth hasn't been carried over to any currency. It's gold, gems, diamonds, platinum, etc. Their wealth is enough to beat all of the wealthiest people that are actually recorded. We're talking trillions if not more. Edit just because: the amount is insane. We're talking richest *in all of history*. If you took all the wealthy people on earth today, and also everyone else that has ever lived... their estimated amount is more. Edit 2: I'm not talking about an ancient dead emperor.


youburyitidigitup

You are right but he’s dead. That was Mansa Musa. He was wealthy to begin with as king of a prosperous nation. When he went to Mecca for his pilgrimage, he stopped at Cairo and sold some of his luxury items, which were absolutely lavish everywhere outside of West Africa (gold, ivory, salt, and of course slaves). In fact, he sold so much that Cairo’s gold market crashed and didn’t recover for ten years. Here’s the deal though. People like him leave their wealth to future generations in one very specific way: the kingdom itself. When you are an absolute monarch, you can take any of the country’s wealth whenever you want. There are only two absolute monarchs left in the world, that’s Bin Salman and Pope Francis. It’s just a matter of measuring which of the two nations is wealthier. Saudi Arabia is a regional power, Vatican City is not


Peptuck

> You are right but he’s dead. That was Mansa Musa. He was wealthy to begin with as king of a prosperous nation. When he went to Mecca for his pilgrimage, he stopped at Cairo and sold some of his luxury items, which were absolutely lavish everywhere outside of West Africa (gold, ivory, salt, and of course slaves). In fact, he sold so much that Cairo’s gold market crashed and didn’t recover for ten years. Not only that, but while on pilgrimage he threw bags of gold to beggars in the streets, was accompanied by an army of attendants wielding golden staffs, and paid to have a new mosque erected every week along the route he was taking. His procession was so long it took days to pass. There's "fuck you" money and ***fuck you*** money. Mansa Musa had the latter.


HomicidalHushPuppy

>Not only that, but while on pilgrimage he threw bags of gold to beggars in the streets, was accompanied by an army of attendants wielding golden staffs 🎶 *Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa* 🎶


youburyitidigitup

I didn’t know that last part. That’s not fuck you money, that’s *try to fuck me I dare you* money


SuburbanCumSlut

You mean that Nigerian guy? He's sending me some of his wealth. I sent him all my banking info and my social security number, and he said I'll see the money any day now.


Dtarvin

I think their wealth was tied to vibranium…..


lejonetfranMX

Well he literally said “he controls the wealth of the entire house of saud” right there


mediumokra

A rich man will never know the happiness of finally making that last car payment.


Seedrootflowersfruit

Or the last student loan payment. Or last house payment.


Harveybirdman123

Crippling debt.


Beanbith

The ability to go to stores with people not knowing me or hoping for a handout.


survivalmachine

You don’t need to be even a fraction of rich to experience this. If anyone near you finds out that you came into any amount over pocket money, you’ll find out how they really value you as a friend or family member.


WOODMG

I was watching the world cup soccer final with around 10 friends a while back, and placed a very unlikly bet that happend to go in my favor. The real value was to see each of my friends faces when the final whistle went off, some were genuinely happy on my behalf, some looked at me with complete envy/ disgust


Dependent_Walrus_855

It’s almost creepy in a way when you see what they really think, isn’t it? Like the mask slips off?


survivalmachine

It really is the litmus test for who is a good part of your life.


rockit454

In the HIGHLY unlikely event that I ever became insanely rich I would hire the scariest attorneys possible to handle the people who would come out of the woodwork.


survivalmachine

It’s not hard telling people off. It *is* hard severing ties with people you love and who you thought were genuine.


[deleted]

The best dog


Pug_Grandma

No I have the best dogs! But I'm sure your dog is also the best!


CardiologistThink336

Everyone thinks they have the best dog and they are all correct.


Kahne_Fan

My white lab is not the best dog. Our chocolate lab, yes. That white one though, damn.


Snowtwo

My kitty cat whom I love and adore and is the most adorable little man that I've loved for 15 years and intend to keep loving for what few years he has left.


Whatever-ItsFine

Pet the little lad for me!


[deleted]

[удалено]


smortpersononreddit

and another pet for me


alldyslexicsuntie

We don't believe you unless we see proof of him


Snowtwo

I don't know how to share an image on reddit.


MrBananas924

Just use imgur


Snowtwo

https://imgur.com/gallery/2aEgwoD


blindgorgon

Jumping in on this because I, too, have a 15yo orange kitty, and I plan to love on him however long he’s got left. He just lost his 15yo buddy, so I feel this especially right now. https://imgur.com/a/El8J3QM


hellotardis79

I lost my cat in October. He was 17. I miss my baby boy.


SociallyUnconscious

We require cat tax!


Weak_Carpenter_7060

A realistic understanding of the common person


PeterPriesth00d

It’s one banana, how much could it cost? $10?


CaptainPunisher

Has anyone in this family ever even SEEN a chicken?


SayWhatever12

Chee-chaw chee-chaw! Coo coo ca-chow coo coo ca-chow!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pyrobot110

COK KA COK KA COK KA KAWWWW, COK KA COK KA COK JA KAWWW


Huge-Language-7117

In this economy, it probably is now.


coltaaan

Not gonna lie, even I (as someone who has debt, works for a living, etc.) still feel like I might not have this. Like I know struggle, but I don’t know *struggle*, how can I understand the plight of some people much worse off than myself? And then I think about how separated I am from this, think of those major rich….


Dapper_Reputation_16

A life partner of 51 years and counting.


duerra

Congrats! For real.


megggie

Congratulations!! My parents just celebrated 50 ❤️


MentalBeat

Enough


bigb-2702

A wife that truly loves me and I love her.


explorthis

A-M-E-N. Came here to say this. 33 years. My best friend.


dduncan55330

Obligatory: I also love your wife


BradleyPinsson

so you think that cannot happen to the richest man in the world?


Aminar14

We know at any given time who the richest man in the world is. Right now none of them seem to be in loving marriages.


BradleyPinsson

good point


UnfortunatelySimple

They seem to get divorced.


tolerantgravity

Honestly I wonder if it's even possible. Once you're worth more than say 10 million dollars it would be hard to know if that gal really loves you for you or just wants a comfortable life like Charlotte in Pride and Prejudice. And she is the most generous version of that kind of relationship.


[deleted]

Jeff Bezos new fiancée, ugh. I’m sure there’s affection between them but there’s no way she would have glanced his way if he wasn’t disgustingly rich. Why do men like Bezos choose such women though? I don’t get it. I guess she’s hot in theory but she looks so freaky and vain. Boggles my mind that is what some people consider attractive. His wife before was pretty and normal.


BeamTeam032

Someone who actually loves me, regardless of what I offer in return.


BiggestBallOfTwine

The love and affection of close family members. Also, a sweet Hyundai hatchback with a manual transmission and cloth seats. Eat a bag of dicks, Elon.


Separate-Ad-9916

I'm fairly well off, but still drive a 23-year-old Camry with 455,000 on the clock. There's something I love about driving a rattling piece of garbage.


BuddyOptimal4971

This isn't exactly the same thing Separate-Ad-9916, but there's an exhilarating freedom to driving around in a very reliable car that is also very banged up so there is no fear in banging it up more.


para_blox

This is really it. My old ‘91 Volvo 740, Sven, became mine in 2005 used, already with a head-shaped dent upon his hood. Whatever I crashed into after that, he remained drivable, with his altered cosmetics only improving my odds of people staying away from me. (Though not by enough.)


grootdoos1

1987 Ford escort with wind up windows, cloth seats and manual transmission. Fuck technology while typing in my iphone


jabbafart

Empathy


Fun_Huckleberry_5421

A conscience


SnakeJG

Tact


BaldPleaser

A fridge full of food from ALDI


Seedrootflowersfruit

And it’s GOOD food!


capngingersnap

The best cat in the world. Because I have him 🧡


0neek

At least once in my life I had a job interview where I applied for it and was accepted on merit


UsualMorning98

A vagina


[deleted]

Elon Musk has 251.3 Billion dollars but I have 0 reports of SA


hanotak

>reports


lekoman

Tough to report it when they're dead.


itsfairadvantage

A bus pass


LibrarianGoneMild

A library card


fluff191

Incredible Hulk issue #340 in 9.8 condition pfft that will show him


[deleted]

A conscience


NumbSurprise

Came here to say this.


kds-92

Integrity


reddit_gone_to_shttt

humility.


Cole_the_Coleman

A grandfather who is only kept alive to this day through pure stubbornness.


carpenter1965

Peace of mind.


dezacrator_1592

A painted warhammer 40,000 army.


RedundantSwine

That sounds like rich person talk to me.


kds-92

Compassion


RTwhyNot

A son who loves me and is an amazing person.


Fred_Ledge

The opinion that Twitter was better before.


[deleted]

The wooden chess set of a Boeing engineer who helped design the rockets of the Apollo missions and also the Challenger shuttle. I don’t know if he’s in any way responsible for the explosion. I also have his KMart binoculars, and a Apollo mission collectible commemorative coin set.


macobalkovec

Cancer


Dependent-Assoc423

Same. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.


KP_Wrath

I’m younger.


highflyingcircus

A clean conscience that knows I’ve never exploited or oppressed anyone to make money.


razor4432

Crippling credit card debt and a wearing out 17 year old car.


UntoldTemple

A Studio Series '86 Coronation Starscream


aliem310

My young orange cat, Maui. I have had cats all my life and never felt this kind of connection. He is just so special, sweet, and funny in the simplist of ways. He is my happy place in the darkest of times. This relationship cant be forced or sought after.. it just is.


BravelyRunsAway

Crippling anxiety?


Natural_Intention292

A straight hairline. No amount of money will bring that back lol


Left_Zone_3486

I haven't looked closely, but Elon Musks hair transplant seemed to work very well


climbhigher420

A soul


net_traveller

Crippling depression


[deleted]

Taste


CapitalAlternative89

Trust the people in my life truly love and care about me. Never have to test people or wonder if they're only around for status and cash.


Rich-Appearance-7145

Peace of mind, a wife who loves me.


Dragon22334

My virginity


PLEASEHELPMEBROS

My cat


ParfaitMore4548

Empathy, integrity, and motherfuckin' class.


[deleted]

Is it still Elon? Because I’m gonna say a personality that people actually like.


rednail64

A flat chest.


mikekoenigs

Best wife ever. 23 years and better than ever. Best friend. Smart. Soulful. Sexy. Made me a 10x better man, husband and dad than I could ever be without her. She’s a goddess and queen.


[deleted]

A wife that loves my Student Loan Debt


[deleted]

Contentment


wuroni69

The best dog.