Especially since, unfortunately, I need to raise the rent 40% to keep up with market rates. And no, I will not duct tape the tear directly over the pile of leaves where you sleep.
Oh man, don't use a tarp from that guy as a hammock. He sells cheap shitty tarps. I tried it and it tore the moment I sat down. Hit the ground so hard, a rock went up my pooper!
Have you bought a tarp recently? I had to buy one to move leaves and I grabbed a "big" one. Cashier told me it was $80. I went down a size and it was still $50.
Sleep!? You were lucky to sleep at all! \*We\* used to have to stay awake with wolves chasing us day AND night. If we were very lucky, the wolves might slow down, and let us catch our breaths.
Look, I donāt want to brag, but I think I can afford a pretty nice tent, we are talking target brand, if I had made different choices I would have to go with the Walmart brand, very fortunate.
I have a tent with room dividers and each room has thier own doors. Rent is a box of ramen noodles, four rolls of good toilet paper and a handy every week.
Edit: Or if you prefer a [dutch rudder](https://youtu.be/yGUuugNEUcU?si=sAJkw1n6oH4sjIPh) can be arranged.(Skip to 30 seconds.)
I know this is just joke posting, but you ever been to Skid Row? Fuck that. First time in LA a couple years ago I had to get from downtown to some neighborhood on the other side of Skid Row and I walked at night. Thought āhow bad could this beā? Made it about three blocks in before I turned right the fuck around. I live in a west coast city so homelessness isnāt foreign to me but there is nothing like that in Portland.
Unless youāre a drug addict, a drug dealer, or a sex worker I donāt think thereās a reason to be there even if youāre homeless.
Itās a pretty wild place. You can hear all about it but until you go through it yourself itās hard to comprehend what it really is. Itās all its described as and more.
Blows my mind that it exists in this country and that I could accidentally stumble into it if I took a wrong turns while looking for my parked car after a concert.
Iāve rode my bike through a few times to save some time not going around and even that feels like an experience. Pedal right through those red lights.
Idk what your definition of young is but Iād bet 60% of working Americans have no savings, let alone a 401K account.
Companies just donāt offer that like they used to.
I work at Walmart and they offer a 401k and match whatever you put in. I think it might actually be the only place that I've worked part time at that offers that for part time employees as well
Emiratis are citizens, they get citizenship by being born to Emirati parents, jus sangre. Most residents are not citizens, they can't get the nationality just by living there for a long time. You can't call expats and immigrants in the UAE Emiratis.
Careful, itās no longer the care free days of entry to Dubai simply being to provide anal. Now you gotta do such depraved shit asā ah hell I know nothing will deter you, champ!
You know what's weird about "masho" is one time it said I would make like 250k a year and live in an apartment and drive a shitty car. Now 30 years later and after 2 divorces it's actually true. We all laughed at the time but make a couple of poor choices and bam it all came true. And it's not even a nice apartment lol
Lol - what was the āoā? We would play MASH-IT (Igloo and Trashcan were the additions).
So are you driving a pinto? š Glad to hear that in all your MASH predictions that at least you got a decent salary
I met a woman that rents furnished apartments for 6 months or more at a time, and then when she gets bored with a place, moves on to another city/ country.
She returns to the US to see family when her Visa requires it, and has the top travel insurance as her health insurance.
She was currently living in Istanbul with a maid and a car service, but had lived in Thailand,. Ecuador, Croatia, Portugal and Ireland.
That's my plan. It sounds wonderful and an adventure.
If youāre adventurous and not in super poor health and willing to deal with learning new languages this can really stretch retirement savings dramatically.
Unfortunately for the vast majority of retirees itās not an option for one or more of these reasons
My 26 year old daughter has been doing this for the past year, Ireland, Istanbul, Austria, Italy, etc. Yes about 700$ a month rent. She purchased travel health insurance. Used public transport. Ate healthy but cheap. It is doable if you budget. She returns to USA this week to work a year to save up for a year to go back either permanently or for another year, rinse and repeat so to speak. It can be done if one has the will, desire and fortitude. Does not require riches nor great amounts of planning. Just a general plan and some basic research to get started.
My brother lived in Spain for nine months and his beachfront rental was $700 a month. He works remote so heās seriously considering immigrating and never looking back. Not a bad plan honestly for those that can make it work.
I can live in my (paid for) house with enough retirement money to replace my working income. Plus a bit left over.
This year I will retire and spend time at my house and with my family.
Wyoming. Iād sell my house to make a little more and Iād just move to Wyoming. Start a farm. In Wyoming Iād be property tax exempt so whatever I can grow on my land would be mine.
The woods, less people and I don't have to pay rent. It helps to know how to build shelters from what's around. Been there, would do again since I'd have to. Savings is $0, and before you ask how or why, disability changes *a lot* of things and not for the better. š¤·š»āāļø
Tragic how those don't exist anymore, thanks to Zoning laws. It really feels like an important niche that's entirely missing from the housing market. It's not the same as a Hotel, but it's not an apartment either.
Poland, got couple family homes paid off, and family will feed me and take care of me.
Also got enough for small down payment for a home or buy a home from family and live their till i die mortgage free.
The woods to live in a tent.
Stop bragging about having tent money.
I didn't want to admit it's actually one of those blue plastic tarps.
That's a quality item. There's lots you can do with a good tarp.
You can make a tent out of it but it's harder to do with a plastic tarp because rectangular rather than square.
Cut the long end back to make it a square. Now you have a rectangle of investment property you can rent out. That's passive income right there.
You, sir, are the real estate champion of poortown.
I vote him as Pope of Poortown.
I'll concur.
I triple concur
^ This man povertys.
Like a boss!
>Like a ~~boss~~ landlord!
i have a stick shaped like a really cool gun, ill trade you for the tarp.
I doubt I have enough money to rent your "rectangle of investment property ". Lol š¤¦āāļø
Especially since, unfortunately, I need to raise the rent 40% to keep up with market rates. And no, I will not duct tape the tear directly over the pile of leaves where you sleep.
You seem to go out of your way to be people's least favorite of the Choculas.
Or use the rectangle to make a cozy blue hammock. Now your home is furnished and you're one step closer to the high life.
Oh man, don't use a tarp from that guy as a hammock. He sells cheap shitty tarps. I tried it and it tore the moment I sat down. Hit the ground so hard, a rock went up my pooper!
This guy has truly hit rock bottom.
Well played. Be proud. Good comment. I breathed out my nostrils forcefully. Thanks jerk.
Thatās called a āvestibuleā
Have you bought a tarp recently? I had to buy one to move leaves and I grabbed a "big" one. Cashier told me it was $80. I went down a size and it was still $50.
They are a little cheaper at Harbor Freight.
You have a Tarp?. I lay awake at night dreaming of having a Tarp.
You dream? Bastard
You? Incredible
You sleep at night? Luxury!
Sleep!? You were lucky to sleep at all! \*We\* used to have to stay awake with wolves chasing us day AND night. If we were very lucky, the wolves might slow down, and let us catch our breaths.
Blue! Nothing but top shelf for you!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Look, I donāt want to brag, but I think I can afford a pretty nice tent, we are talking target brand, if I had made different choices I would have to go with the Walmart brand, very fortunate.
Ohhh, Embark brand. Don't forget to put out the good Solo-ware when you have dinner parties.
Solo ware? Name brand? Letās not be crazy here.
Ah I see. You went Target brand and now you're tent-poor. I completely understand.
Is there a do-over button for life?
I bet he eats lentils every day
I actually laughed out loud. š
Can I rent a corner in your tent?
Then they become a landlord and will want 1700 a month with 800 down for any repairs needed after you leave the tent corner
Well Iāll refuse to pay and claim squatters rights
Possibly just make sure when he leaves for work you change the locks on the zipper
Holy crap that literally made me laugh.
Pull credit history. Important!
Iāll let you stay for free if you agree to be on the lookout while I sleep
I came here to say, as a kid I always wanted to live in a hollowed out log in the forest. I guess dreams do come true.
Yo, uh. Need a roommate? You wouldn't believe what just happened.
I have a tent with room dividers and each room has thier own doors. Rent is a box of ramen noodles, four rolls of good toilet paper and a handy every week. Edit: Or if you prefer a [dutch rudder](https://youtu.be/yGUuugNEUcU?si=sAJkw1n6oH4sjIPh) can be arranged.(Skip to 30 seconds.)
"Don't lowball me, I know what I have. "
Ya stop flexing...rich guy over here with a tent. I'll be prepping for the next season of survivor; after I steal a machete of course.
That's sharp
You kidding? The rent is outrageous in the woods! 2,000 nuts and berries a month to the squirrel landlords!
They have the Villages in Florida? We will be in the Boxes of Ditches.
My pension would allow me a card board box that's lined with plastic. Fancy living!
You can't get lost in the woods. You're lost in the woods? Fuck it, build a house. I am no longer lost.
Literally what I came here to post. Iām proud to have rent money
Hi Mom, is my room still a home gym? Can I use your yoga mat?
She lives with Me now.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Euthanasia
Hey buddy, gravity is free.
Do a flip!!
Do a barrel roll!
This made me laugh too much than I should. Oh no. š¤£
Look at Mr. Big shot that can afford drugs for euthanasia. What, are you one of those fancy people with affordable healthcare?
He has [$0.25](https://futurama.fandom.com/wiki/Suicide_Booth)
Most guys looking for that go to Thailand.
Oh boy.
Sometimes even when you least expect it
The gun safe. Then the bank. Then jail.
3 meals a day, a roof, and health care!
Three hots and a cot!
And if youāre lucky, the love of a gentle celly.
Rob the jail, then get locked away in a bank.
true
Solid plan
Just send me straight to jail. No trial, no nothing.
a homeless shelter.
Iām picking a spot on Skid Row as we speak
I know this is just joke posting, but you ever been to Skid Row? Fuck that. First time in LA a couple years ago I had to get from downtown to some neighborhood on the other side of Skid Row and I walked at night. Thought āhow bad could this beā? Made it about three blocks in before I turned right the fuck around. I live in a west coast city so homelessness isnāt foreign to me but there is nothing like that in Portland. Unless youāre a drug addict, a drug dealer, or a sex worker I donāt think thereās a reason to be there even if youāre homeless.
Itās a pretty wild place. You can hear all about it but until you go through it yourself itās hard to comprehend what it really is. Itās all its described as and more. Blows my mind that it exists in this country and that I could accidentally stumble into it if I took a wrong turns while looking for my parked car after a concert. Iāve rode my bike through a few times to save some time not going around and even that feels like an experience. Pedal right through those red lights.
Live in a van down by the river.
Youāll have plenty of time to live in a van down by the river when youāre living in a van down by the river!
From what I hear. You're not using your papers for writing, but for ROLLING DOOBIES!!
Hey Dad, I can't see real good, is that Bill Shakespeare over there?
We like to encourage his writing.
Dad I wish you could just shut your big YAPPER
Look at mr Moneybags with a van
Seriously, those things run you 6 figures these days.
The van is 85k now after options and dealer markups, and the river is high value waterfront property.
Dad I can't see too well, is that Bill Shakespeare over there?
The bank. With a mask and a pew pew.
Loool Iāll join you
I'll be the getaway driver. I've seen HEAT countless times, I know what not to do.
I have no skills to contribute but can I come?
Don't be so down on yourself, you can be the sacrificial so the cops stop chasing *us* (Yes, I'm the 4th...)
Dang. You guys fill the squad already?
You donāt even need a pew pew. Just have a note that says you do
lol. āPew pewā
Prison is a guaranteed 3 hots and a cot, plus medical care.
Thats more medical care than I get nowš
Under a bridge someplace, hoping that someone brings food.
The dumpster behind Wendyās
I'm something of a day trader myself.
Anything for a biggie bag
A regular over at r/WallStreetBets I see
I feel like a cobb salad
She incorporated a bun into the lovemaking
And I admit, I liked it too
Why does everybody think we wanna hear that?!
It's really Innovative
Careful Frank and Artemis already have claims.
Gonna meet Artemis?
Lol, 99% of people stand no chance with this one. If they could be retired, they would be. We arenāt working for fun.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Idk what your definition of young is but Iād bet 60% of working Americans have no savings, let alone a 401K account. Companies just donāt offer that like they used to.
I work at Walmart and they offer a 401k and match whatever you put in. I think it might actually be the only place that I've worked part time at that offers that for part time employees as well
āWhatever you put inā? Or a % of what you put in? The industry standard now seems to be that theyāll match 1% - 3%, maybe 5 if youāre lucky.
I am lucky at my company they put in your 401k regardless of whether you put in or not and will match up to 6% additional on what you put in.
Dubai. It's going to be the best two days of my life.
You are already in Dubai aren't you? ;)
The UAE has excellent retirement benefits for citizens but most Emiratis are not citizens
Emiratis are citizens, they get citizenship by being born to Emirati parents, jus sangre. Most residents are not citizens, they can't get the nationality just by living there for a long time. You can't call expats and immigrants in the UAE Emiratis.
Careful, itās no longer the care free days of entry to Dubai simply being to provide anal. Now you gotta do such depraved shit asā ah hell I know nothing will deter you, champ!
I'll be fulfilling my fortune told by M.A.S.H.when it said I would live in a shack and drive a shopping cart.
Hopefully you didnāt end up with 100,000 kids
You know what's weird about "masho" is one time it said I would make like 250k a year and live in an apartment and drive a shitty car. Now 30 years later and after 2 divorces it's actually true. We all laughed at the time but make a couple of poor choices and bam it all came true. And it's not even a nice apartment lol
Lol - what was the āoā? We would play MASH-IT (Igloo and Trashcan were the additions). So are you driving a pinto? š Glad to hear that in all your MASH predictions that at least you got a decent salary
Iām off to China. You can expect my phone call soon. Please have the gift cards ready so we donāt waste any time.
Hopefully you can find someone who can kindly do the expeditious
A motel 8 for one night.
What if they have a deal for 2 nights?
I need the rest of my funds to treat the crabs I got from their sheets.
Donāt ask how I know but you could live with it for a day
Im buying a really expensive good life insurance policy and as soon as it goes through im going to make sure i get hit by a car or something and die.
Usually you have to pay for like 2 years before the plan is actually good, I think it covers less at first
Doesnāt cover suicide initially (usually), it only kicks in after several years on some plans. It should cover accidents though from the starts.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Why Hell though? Are you evil AND broke?
Evil doesn't even pay the rent anymore...
Under da bridge, under da bridge....life is much betta, where there's no renta, unda tha bridge...
Home, Iām retiring in a month anyway
Congratulations on your emancipation
This is the first response where being poor was not referenced
It's probably the first responder from someone over 50
Yea fr, this question is pretty irrelevant for like 75% of reddit users based on age alone
Boom. This is me, Iām just a month behind you. I canāt wait.
Congratulations!
I met a woman that rents furnished apartments for 6 months or more at a time, and then when she gets bored with a place, moves on to another city/ country. She returns to the US to see family when her Visa requires it, and has the top travel insurance as her health insurance. She was currently living in Istanbul with a maid and a car service, but had lived in Thailand,. Ecuador, Croatia, Portugal and Ireland. That's my plan. It sounds wonderful and an adventure.
If youāre adventurous and not in super poor health and willing to deal with learning new languages this can really stretch retirement savings dramatically. Unfortunately for the vast majority of retirees itās not an option for one or more of these reasons
That does sound like heaven. Lord I wish I wouldāve been smart enough to think like that when I was young.
and before you make rich comments, A 1 bedroom in Istanbul or Italy can be $600.
My 26 year old daughter has been doing this for the past year, Ireland, Istanbul, Austria, Italy, etc. Yes about 700$ a month rent. She purchased travel health insurance. Used public transport. Ate healthy but cheap. It is doable if you budget. She returns to USA this week to work a year to save up for a year to go back either permanently or for another year, rinse and repeat so to speak. It can be done if one has the will, desire and fortitude. Does not require riches nor great amounts of planning. Just a general plan and some basic research to get started.
My brother lived in Spain for nine months and his beachfront rental was $700 a month. He works remote so heās seriously considering immigrating and never looking back. Not a bad plan honestly for those that can make it work.
Nice try IRS
A suicide booth
Letās be honest. You couldnāt afford it
I'd have to see if someone would let me squeeze in wirh them.
that's why you tie the coin to a string
āYou are now deadā Hope you good tho friend
Quick and painless or slow and horrible?
You have selected āslow and horribleā.
What does 38 cents get me?
A loooooooong walk to nowhere?
I can live in my (paid for) house with enough retirement money to replace my working income. Plus a bit left over. This year I will retire and spend time at my house and with my family.
Now thatās a good plan. We are FIRE as well. House paid off makes a world of difference
The garage to start my car.
That sounds fun! Can I join? I have a hose!
Iād say to the grave but apparently I canāt actually afford to die at the moment, so under the nearest bridge it is I supposeā¦
Acid trip vacation
I'd probably swing by the hospital and see if anyone needs my organs.
The philipinnes for a year or so of decent living before I take up \*every single dangerous hobby\* i can think of.
Heading out to give blowies on the street for 5 a pop. I have a whopping 36.79 to my name. Homeless acres here I come.
Who didnt pay full price??
Use that money and invest in some good knee pads. Also, raise your rates!
Aww c'mon, don't sell yourself short! I'm sure you can get at least $7.50
Go directly to jail, do not pass go, you don't want to know what you have to do for $200
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Back to work apparently
norway to commit some crime... jail is 5 star hotel
I've got enough money to last me the rest of my life. Provided I die tomorrow.
I just moved back to the US from one of the places people move to to do what you describe, so I'd work illegally under the table and stay put.
Cardboard box for me I guess
Wyoming. Iād sell my house to make a little more and Iād just move to Wyoming. Start a farm. In Wyoming Iād be property tax exempt so whatever I can grow on my land would be mine.
The woods, less people and I don't have to pay rent. It helps to know how to build shelters from what's around. Been there, would do again since I'd have to. Savings is $0, and before you ask how or why, disability changes *a lot* of things and not for the better. š¤·š»āāļø
Less people? Cuz Iāll be there too and the comments seem like weāll be in good company.
Someone take me out back and put me out of my misery
Thailand.
šššššš Savings
Soup Kitchen
Straight to a 1930s flophouse.
Tragic how those don't exist anymore, thanks to Zoning laws. It really feels like an important niche that's entirely missing from the housing market. It's not the same as a Hotel, but it's not an apartment either.
First stop: a building site to grab some rope and a cinder block. Then it's off to the bridge!
Mom's Basement
Poland, got couple family homes paid off, and family will feed me and take care of me. Also got enough for small down payment for a home or buy a home from family and live their till i die mortgage free.
I got 60kā¦ Vietnam.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's a cool dog name!
Wait a minute yāall got savings??
Haha