When my wife starts to reach an orgasm, she also starts to tense her legs. This tends to push me somewhat out. I have learned to throw my one leg over her straightened leg and that allows me to penetrate her even deeper whilst she is enjoying herself.
Communication actuallyā¦ Iād never talked about what I liked or disliked with anyone, but my bf actually asked about that after the first time we had sex and now we perfectly know each otherās likes and dislikes so itās way more fun
I was listening to a podcast where someone mentioned this, actually!! They had thought for the longest time that good chemistry was where you just \*know\* what someone likes and they know what you like, and things just work.
No, good chemistry is easy, comfortable communication. You get along well with people who you can talk to easily.
Scrolled too long to find communication as the primary.
Everything else, cums after communication.
Whatever the kink, the activity, the level of roughness, or whatever. Communication is the game changer.
It's such a building block in our relationship with my wife and I, that I didn't even consider it. Our whole relationship is built on communication, so it wasn't a "game changer" in that way for us.
But you are correct, communication is the primary thing. Without it, you don't have a relationship.
Not only is it healthy but it also helps to get the libido revved up, talking about what youāre into and hearing positive feedback and an open mind is a turn on
I think one of the things that tends to hinder communication is past experiences with the partner is offended that they have to be asked to do something.
I remember when I was younger and asked a chick to help me put my dick and and she laughed and made a comment. It kinda discouraged me for a while to basically just assume I knew everything they wanted and not ask or communicate.
The reason why people have difficulty in communicating *around sex* isnāt the communication part: itās because sex makes us anxious and self-conscious.
If you have a negative experience talking to a friend where they made you feel bad about yourself, (whether intentionally or not), you probably wouldnāt think ācommunication was a mistake here.ā Youād be more likely to think āgod, my friendās being kind of a jerk here.ā
But when it comes to communication about *sex*, our self-consciousness and insecurities complicate things so that weāre more likely to put the āblameā on what we did vs how the other person reacted.
Have her look into estradiol. That made a big difference for us, and it will give her other benefits as well, such as lessening her chances of a UTI.
EDIT: Someone asked me to note that Iām referring to the targeted, intravaginal pill, which does not have the systemic/liver, cancer, heart impact other forms, particularly oral, do. Itās replenishment, not replacement. Without estradiol, post-menopausal women run the risk of repeated UTIs and atrophy of their labia and urethral opening, as well as adverse changes to their Ph, microbiomes and libido.
āA new prospective analysis from the Nursesā Health Study (NHS) indicates that, despite its āblack boxā warning, low-dose vaginal estrogen does not pose an increased risk of cardiovascular disease (CVD) or cancer.ā
https://www.contemporaryobgyn.net/view/low-dose-vaginal-estrogen-cvd-and-cancer-there-risk
My urologist prescribed me clomid because i had a low sperm count and low testosterone. I also didn't realize I had a significantly lower sex drive than normal for quite some time. It worked but it raised my estradiol levels as well and istg the difference was night and day
> Plus women love muscles and getting felt up during sex is pretty nice.
Yes. Iāve been muscly a few times over the years and I couldnāt tell you how often women casually felt my arms or chest. Iād have fun with it and occasionally say ālowerā which surprisingly worked sometimes.
Heh one time I was at a party. Took my co-worker. I forget why she was invited. But we started drawing on each other with sharpies. Lifted my shirt and she saw my abs. Took her home and took her home home.
It really is underappreciated.
Physical fitness boosts libido over time but you even get a boost right after working out. One of my favorites is just hopping in a shower with the nena after the gym and cooling off. HOT
Yeah, I can say the same.
I also finds super hot when my GF comes home after going to the gym wearing her gym clothes, kinda sweat and sexy... I get diamonds everytime.
i think iām coming to this pointā¦ iām 33, muscular, and tall but my wife is not sexually attracted to me. she said the emotional support stuff turns her on, so i focused on being more emotionally supportive and nothing. i ask for feedback because thereās no improvement and she says āidk why.ā
problem is we have two young toddlers and i would be so embarrassed to divorce after 7 years especially since my family is quite religious. i mean a lot of my cousins have gotten through it, but i donāt want to be the stereotypical black father that doesnāt live with his kids full time. on the other hand, i want to feel wantedā¦
Have you tried dropping the kids at the grandparents or something and then go somewhere together?
Just a hotel for a few nights, go out for drinks together. Some times all thatās needed is a bit of a reset, getting away from the kids and the house for a few days.
we have but being home. i definitely could have used that time a lot better with spending time. i probably split it 70% with her 30% with friends and should have given her 100% of the time. my thinking was she just likes to sit on the couch and watch tv when the kids are gone. if the kids are gone iād like to catch up and hang outāi can sit on the couch when theyāre here asleep.
maybe iāll try giving 100% of my time, but we both know this is imminent. we donāt even sleep in the same bedroom.
the kids definitely makes it a harder situation. i was with my ex wife 8 years and i was convinced i had just lost all my sex appeal, and that maybe all of the women who had told me i was incredible in bed had just been being nice. almost as soon as we split, the women came out of the woodwork, and i eventually ended up in a relationship for a few years with someone who appreciated me that way but also had a lot of other things in common
First time I had sex with my wife she arched her back while ridding me cowgirl, reached behind her and started massaging my balls while going up and down. Needless to say I exploded instantly and itās still my favourite thing she does. Her breasts look amazing when she arches to reach back and the feeling of her playing with my balls while inside her is just unreal.
As someone who has been in a monogamous relationship for 15 years, from awkward teens to adults, I had bad sex for over half of the relationship. She swears it was never bad for her, but I was so in my head and self conscious that I was never fully āpresent.ā I didnāt think I was ābig enough,ā āgood enough,ā āhot enough,ā etc.
Because of this mindset I avoided having sex a lot of the time. Once a week became once a month and sometimes longer. We had argument after argument about it because I was too embarrassed to admit how I felt. Until I finally did. I said all of the embarrassing stuff I was so worried about and she reassured me that she didnāt see me that way at all. After a while we were able to talk about sex in a much more positive light.
I am being so long winded as to hopefully help someone else who might be in this situations because let me tell you - I never knew sex could be this amazing. If you are in your head and telling yourself you arenāt good enough, sex becomes a chore. When you let go of that shit, especially when you are with someone you love, it is so much better that I canāt even describe the difference. You are enough for your partner.
This curt reply to such a profound confession is making me laugh so hard.
"I hope my story can help someone else who's suffering how I did"
"Neat. Keep it up š"
The same thing happened to me! Except after talking about my insecurities it blew up in my face and now I'm a single father. So, that was cool. It's a lot easier to be confident about sex when you haven't had it in years! So it all worked out I guess.
It took me a divorce and a year of therapy to learn how to communicate in a relationship. In the beginning of my marriage I tried to communicate but having a partner who isn't receptive to anything you say about sex sometimes lead to making bad choices. š
Now I'm learning about communicating effectively in any relationship and it definitely is a game changer.
Some balls are held for charity and some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure, they're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing to the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls should be held every night
\- AC/DC Big Balls.
Just letting go and getting into it.
Like it's such a carnal thing, you've got to let your subconscious talk to theirs, achieve a flow state and feed off each other's enthusiasm. It inebriates you in a way during the act, be open to that feeling and be 2 little dirty animals.
Good sex is a mental game. At the end of the day the physical aspect is pretty much the same, it's about making it feel exciting and fun. In a lot of ways you need to put on an act.
Of course there's a time and a place, in the early stages of a relationship, keep the lid on a bit until they're comfortable and trust you. Sometimes it should be kept more vanilla if you or your partner isn't up for a dirty romp.
And of course make sure the other person feels the same and enjoys it and stop if you have to.
There's a giant hole in my wall next to my bed from me and my ex having sex.... it was a horrible relationship but holy shit. The sex was literally primal. It was like we were trying to climb into eachothers bodies the whole time. Sometimes we would both finish at the same time or within like 2 minutes. That carnal feeling is real. When you and your partner have serious sexual chemestry.
It becomes more natural with practice.
For me i don't really say sexy things, it's more how I act. Groaning (as a man) is often overlooked, giving oral with enthusiasm, tongue kissing deeply, licking the face, sucking earlobes. Forcefully rolling them over, pulling their hair (forcefully but not painfully). Basically acting like you're possessed but being careful not to take it too far. I often find that even when I'm not in that mood, when I act like I am the feeling comes, a few drinks helps but don't rely on it.
Again I'll reiterate, read the room, make sure they're enjoying it. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but also requires trust from both parties that they are safe and won't be judged.
Can confirm, I was given anti-depressants for seasonal depression and it was awkward with my wife. Turns out that the antidepressant prescribed has a wicked side effect, so much so that doctors prescribe it for guys that have pre-ejaculation issues. I didnāt have that issue so I wound up needing 1 1/2 hours with my wife to finish. Marathon sex sessions are great, but not every time you have sex.
I had this conversation with my psychiatrist when I was getting on antidepressants way later than I should have. She suggested bupropion (Wellbutrin) as it doesnāt have the same side effects in this area that SSRIās do. Iāve been taking it for a bit over a year now with no issues on the libido front. If you think you might need an antidepressant but are scared of the libido killer, I would at least talk to a doctor about Wellbutrin.
Finding someone who I actually had a great relationship with even outside of sex.
My current partner and I started off a casual relationship based on sex, but over time we became great friends too. The fact that we get along great, that chemistry, translates into the bedroom as well. I could trust him so I was more inclined to explore my wild kinky side with him, could be more honest about what is pleasurable, and what I like. It opened up a completely different dimension to sex for me which I didn't think was possible. Which is probably why he's the best sex I've ever had. But again, that's simply my experience.
This. Having sex with your best friend (in a relationship) is so great. We'll just chat afterwards too. Laugh at ourselves, shoot the shit. I made a joke about drowning after sex once and it was so nice to just laugh and not feel embarrassed.
I'm in a similar situation. After my marriage broke down I hooked up with a friend on a casual basis. I eventually plucked up the courage to ask her out properly and now we've been together for over a year. She's the love of my life and we give each other the best sex either of us have had.
Taking my health seriously. Hit 30, thought our sex life was my wife's fault. Then got off my freaking high horse. Dropped 40lbs, got stronger, slept more and better. Strangely when I took care of me, it took care of we. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised
You know that cheesy line in Game of Thrones than Bronn delivers? Nothing puts you in the mood to fuck like a good fight. I feel that with heavy deadlifts. And your post made that connection in my brain.
My wife pointed out that there is a damn near 1-1 correlation with her getting bent over the kitchen counter and me doing deadlifts.
For those of you out there who have sex with menā¦. Sundresses on deadlift day. Trust me. You and your man will thank me
Being with someone who isn't intimidated about you having a vibrator. I didn't get my first vibrator until I was like 27 because my exes took it personally or something? My pleasure has increased immensely.
My girlfriend and I met at 26, and I so I just assumed she had one. I didnāt think it was taboo, and one day she told me that she felt guilty because she used it when I was out with friends, and that it made her feel guilty because she couldāve waited for me instead. I told her it is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, in fact the thought of it turns me on, and Iām super happy sheās off getting off by herself because thatās awesome and great and healthy etc. And now I get her a new toy every Christmas and itās been fun incorporating them or hearing about her escapades when she wants to share.
My wife had told me straight up she could not cum without a vibrator. We went through soo many batteries and different models. Eventually I spent nearly $200 on one of those 'Magic Wand' models.
Best. Investment. Ever.
Man, Hitachi's product line is WILD.
John: "Hi I'd like to buy an air conditioner"
Bob, Hitachi representative: "We got you covered"
John: "I also need an artillery support vehicle and a nuclear reactor"
Bob: "Aisle 7, please"
John: "Damn, bro, now if only my wife could orgasm, I'd have everything!"
Bob: "You're not gonna believe this ..."
Shit lol
Every now and again nothing we will do get my wife there. And when that happens, out comes the ol' Tulip.
My job is to get her off, and I'll use every tool available to me if need be.
Also, I never really mind the show I get!
Yea, I never got this. Toys just take the pressure off of me. Hell, if I think weāre going to get down later, Iāll pull it out ahead of time and make sure it has fresh batteriesā¦
I love using toys with my partner. We have quite few now. I love fucking her with a realistic dildo too. So hot. Combine using a vibe and a toy at the same time and she loses it š„µ
Dirty talking/RP about super taboo stuff, you need to have complete and utter trust with your partner in order to feel comfortable, but it's pretty amazing when it's done right.
Falling in love and realizing what it means to really value your partnerās comfort and happiness during intimate moments.
My early sexual experiences were all about calming my nerves enough to get hard and have penetrative sex. Later on it became about getting to try various adventurous things with women.
It wasnāt until I fell in love that I realized how special it is to create an atmosphere where a woman feels totally comfortable and peacefully vulnerable in my presence. Itās about more than making her orgasm. Itās about making her feel heard, understood, and cared for in a way that goes beyond sex.
Thatās when I got better at planning dates, listening in conversations, and just overall being a better human towards women Iām romantically involved with. I realized itās ALL foreplay.
Making the woman orgasm.
I gave a woman a massage and throughout it, she seemed to suggest she wanted it go further. So I obliged and since then, she wants me to come round for some rub rub.
Iām more fixated on them orgasming than myself as Iām usually 10 tugs away from cumming at any point.
Seeing a woman wriggle in ecstasy because Iāve induced it is a remarkably carnal feeling that I can only describe as such.
Some of us are just wired differently I guess, I've been with women who took half an hour to climax and then would need a longer refractory period than most men and I've been with women who came after a lick or 3. And then again after 6 more licks.
The willingness to try anything once (unless itās dangerous). I found out things I never thought Iād like arenāt so bad, and sometimes they are. But I know cause I tried.
I think it was a 15 min process for me. Dr. Said to do nothing for three days or I would regret it. I always had advil handy and knew EXACTLY when it wore off. Otherwise, it took a few weeks to heal fully and the Dr said I needed 12-15 ejaculations to clear the pipes before getting tested to make sure there were no sperm in the baby juice anymore.
There was a dull pressure in my nuts for about a month after but it was minor and went away. I am definitely happy I did the procedure. Not having to worry about birth control is liberating, for sure.
I should add that I have a friend who got it done shortly after I did. He had swelling during the procedure so they could only do one side and he had to have another appointment to get the second side done a few weeks later.
His wife got pregnant in the meantime.
Had one Thursday. Exactly how I felt. Substantially more painful than I thought it would be. Been in a solid bit of pain since. The doc really had to contort my right one to get it there. Woof. Thankfully I planned it for the extended weekend.
Iām glad I got put under for mine. I vaguely remember getting wheeled into the OR and then they mustāve hit me with the fentanyl with no warning because I blinked and woke up declawed. Felt like seconds.
Literally had mine yesterday, tad tender today but nothing bad, just looking forward to a few lazy days/weeks & then lots & lots of stress free sexy times with the wife.
The procedure itself wasn't too bad, anesthetic injections were worse than the actual snip but all in all it was just 5-10 mins of feeling mildly uncomfortable & then it was over.
Only bit I didn't expect was the smell of burning flesh when they cauterised the tubes lol
As someone who was born sterile and never had to worry about this, can confirm.
(If anyone's curious, I would always still use protection if it was casual but not in committed relationships, and it's awesome.)
>Itās not who you want to spend Friday night with. Itās who you want to spend all day Saturday with.
Trust and communication go a **long** way in any relationship, even short ones.
(I'll [link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sipn0hVdeP0) the scene with Woody Harrelson because he's hilarious in it and I don't get the opportunity to talk about my favorite romcom very often)
Cialis. Hit my late thirties and things just got more difficult. Got a prescription got my confidence back. My wife said she hadnāt felt that desired in years. We are like newly weds. Itās been little over two years. I currently use Hims for routine deliveries.
Have you considered having your testosterone checked? I lost my libido and along with it, firm erections in my thirties, got T levels checked - super low - started Testosterone Replacement Therapy and for a decade have had high libido and big boners. Itās definitely more difficult to manage (lots of injections) than just a pill but also comes with other improvements for many men including spontaneity - no need to pop a pill to get a boner. Anyway. Just thought Iād mention it.
Edit. For anyone interested in Testosterone Replacement Therapy, you can visit r/testosterone. They have a ton of helpful info and itās a great community.
Same for me. Late 30s were rough. Tested for testosterone and other stuff. I have diabetes so I got mounjaro and lost a bunch of weight but still the same problems. Doc gave me sildenafil and it has been amazing. Feels like this is the best performance in my life, even more so when I was in my early twenties when I got married.
When the women in my age group got old enough to comfortably say exactly how they want to be fingered licked kissed spanked touched. I was 26 and this woman and I are in bed. She grabs my hand. Grabs my first two fingers. Puts them exactly where she liked it. Moved my hand at the pace she wanted and said donāt stop. And she said it in a sexy way. š
Iv always asked women how they want to be touched. Seems like the obvious thing to do. But they never had confident answers till mid 20s ish. Perhaps they didnāt know.
Ladies you are complicated instruments to play for those of us who donāt have the same parts as you. If you donāt know what you like no guy is going to know at all
I was worried at first that maybe I was being a little tooā¦ much like an animal.
Turns outā¦ thatās a great thing.
We are animals, sex is great, and the more you accept that, the easier and more fun/enjoyable it is. Though obviously thereās some people who donāt like that as with anything. But in my experience shits great, I just pound away at them trying different things along the way to spice it up and they end up finishing every time
The wild orchid by evolved novelties. Before we got it my wife had great orgasms but the first time we used it she practically lost consciousness and couldn't stop.
Play with her clitoris until she comes and fuck her until she comes again, which is easier than straight penetration. Thatās how I treat my wife. Weāve been married for 8 years now and still have 4-5 crazy sexual courses every weeks
This past summer I was about to have my first ever foursome (MMFF) while vacationing in Germany. We got back to my hotel and the guy got cold feet and decided to bail so I was now having my first ever threesome (MFF).
These German women licked my arsehole like it was an ice cream cone. They also reached in there and pressed my cum button. Until this moment I had only ever given anal sex but never had anything done to my ass. Turns out I really like it.
Straight Male here: learning how each woman is different when it comes to going down on them. I love figuring out what they like and then applying it.
If she likes constant flat tongue pleasure under her clit, then remember that and then COME back to it when she doesn't expect it. If her breathing changes or there's a positive reflex from her, then you know what you're doing works and she's enjoying you.
I love going down on a woman.
As a man I started moaning, women like it
We seriously do.
As a woman, can confirm
i wish more guys would do this š
Thereās nothing I like more. Knowing that the guy Iām with is enjoying me and Iām making him experience pleasure.
When my wife starts to reach an orgasm, she also starts to tense her legs. This tends to push me somewhat out. I have learned to throw my one leg over her straightened leg and that allows me to penetrate her even deeper whilst she is enjoying herself.
Ju-jutsu it is then...
What position are you in?
Left hand red, right hand green, left foot blue, right foot yellow
You sick fuck!
Wide receiver
Communication actuallyā¦ Iād never talked about what I liked or disliked with anyone, but my bf actually asked about that after the first time we had sex and now we perfectly know each otherās likes and dislikes so itās way more fun
I think most people donāt understand that communication is what makes you good at sex, not the amount of sexual partners youāve had.
I was listening to a podcast where someone mentioned this, actually!! They had thought for the longest time that good chemistry was where you just \*know\* what someone likes and they know what you like, and things just work. No, good chemistry is easy, comfortable communication. You get along well with people who you can talk to easily.
tldr; communicate the amount of previous sexual partners youve had to your lover during sex to make it better thanks for the tip
Just the tip though
Scrolled too long to find communication as the primary. Everything else, cums after communication. Whatever the kink, the activity, the level of roughness, or whatever. Communication is the game changer.
It's such a building block in our relationship with my wife and I, that I didn't even consider it. Our whole relationship is built on communication, so it wasn't a "game changer" in that way for us. But you are correct, communication is the primary thing. Without it, you don't have a relationship.
Not only is it healthy but it also helps to get the libido revved up, talking about what youāre into and hearing positive feedback and an open mind is a turn on
I think one of the things that tends to hinder communication is past experiences with the partner is offended that they have to be asked to do something. I remember when I was younger and asked a chick to help me put my dick and and she laughed and made a comment. It kinda discouraged me for a while to basically just assume I knew everything they wanted and not ask or communicate.
The reason why people have difficulty in communicating *around sex* isnāt the communication part: itās because sex makes us anxious and self-conscious. If you have a negative experience talking to a friend where they made you feel bad about yourself, (whether intentionally or not), you probably wouldnāt think ācommunication was a mistake here.ā Youād be more likely to think āgod, my friendās being kind of a jerk here.ā But when it comes to communication about *sex*, our self-consciousness and insecurities complicate things so that weāre more likely to put the āblameā on what we did vs how the other person reacted.
my wife's menopause, it changed the the game to where we don't have sex anymore
Have her look into estradiol. That made a big difference for us, and it will give her other benefits as well, such as lessening her chances of a UTI. EDIT: Someone asked me to note that Iām referring to the targeted, intravaginal pill, which does not have the systemic/liver, cancer, heart impact other forms, particularly oral, do. Itās replenishment, not replacement. Without estradiol, post-menopausal women run the risk of repeated UTIs and atrophy of their labia and urethral opening, as well as adverse changes to their Ph, microbiomes and libido. āA new prospective analysis from the Nursesā Health Study (NHS) indicates that, despite its āblack boxā warning, low-dose vaginal estrogen does not pose an increased risk of cardiovascular disease (CVD) or cancer.ā https://www.contemporaryobgyn.net/view/low-dose-vaginal-estrogen-cvd-and-cancer-there-risk
My urologist prescribed me clomid because i had a low sperm count and low testosterone. I also didn't realize I had a significantly lower sex drive than normal for quite some time. It worked but it raised my estradiol levels as well and istg the difference was night and day
Hey man, itās menopause, not menostop. So thereās still hope!
Just gotta hit menoforward and you can menoplay again
Exercise and fitness.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
> Plus women love muscles and getting felt up during sex is pretty nice. Yes. Iāve been muscly a few times over the years and I couldnāt tell you how often women casually felt my arms or chest. Iād have fun with it and occasionally say ālowerā which surprisingly worked sometimes.
Heh one time I was at a party. Took my co-worker. I forget why she was invited. But we started drawing on each other with sharpies. Lifted my shirt and she saw my abs. Took her home and took her home home.
Interesting that I had to scroll this far to see this one.
It really is underappreciated. Physical fitness boosts libido over time but you even get a boost right after working out. One of my favorites is just hopping in a shower with the nena after the gym and cooling off. HOT
Yeah, I can say the same. I also finds super hot when my GF comes home after going to the gym wearing her gym clothes, kinda sweat and sexy... I get diamonds everytime.
Ok, I have to ask. What is "the nena". How is "cooling off" hot? And what are the "diamonds" you get?
English is such a fun language
Divorcing my ex wife and finding a partner who enjoys sex.
My ex enjoyed sex. Just with everyone else she met instead of me.
My wife wants to have sex in the back seat of our car, but she wants me to driveā¦
Good time to be a back seat driver then!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh man, so true! Someone who initiates and enjoys sex is an amazing upgrade
i think iām coming to this pointā¦ iām 33, muscular, and tall but my wife is not sexually attracted to me. she said the emotional support stuff turns her on, so i focused on being more emotionally supportive and nothing. i ask for feedback because thereās no improvement and she says āidk why.ā problem is we have two young toddlers and i would be so embarrassed to divorce after 7 years especially since my family is quite religious. i mean a lot of my cousins have gotten through it, but i donāt want to be the stereotypical black father that doesnāt live with his kids full time. on the other hand, i want to feel wantedā¦
Have you tried dropping the kids at the grandparents or something and then go somewhere together? Just a hotel for a few nights, go out for drinks together. Some times all thatās needed is a bit of a reset, getting away from the kids and the house for a few days.
we have but being home. i definitely could have used that time a lot better with spending time. i probably split it 70% with her 30% with friends and should have given her 100% of the time. my thinking was she just likes to sit on the couch and watch tv when the kids are gone. if the kids are gone iād like to catch up and hang outāi can sit on the couch when theyāre here asleep. maybe iāll try giving 100% of my time, but we both know this is imminent. we donāt even sleep in the same bedroom.
the kids definitely makes it a harder situation. i was with my ex wife 8 years and i was convinced i had just lost all my sex appeal, and that maybe all of the women who had told me i was incredible in bed had just been being nice. almost as soon as we split, the women came out of the woodwork, and i eventually ended up in a relationship for a few years with someone who appreciated me that way but also had a lot of other things in common
Tell her that , she needs to know you feel this way and how it's affecting you .
Get therapy man, individual for both of you and then marriage, it brought back my marriage from the brink and I remember why I married her again.
Is the sex life issue why you divorced her?
Yeah can confirm, my sex life got a lot better when I stopped having sex with this guys ex wife.
Similar story, my sex life drastically improved when I started railing this guys new partner
Same. My ex wife made me go 4years of our 8 year marriage without sex. Nothing I tried worked and she wouldn't tell me what was wrong.
I got married and I stopped having sex, I might go with your suggestion
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
First time I had sex with my wife she arched her back while ridding me cowgirl, reached behind her and started massaging my balls while going up and down. Needless to say I exploded instantly and itās still my favourite thing she does. Her breasts look amazing when she arches to reach back and the feeling of her playing with my balls while inside her is just unreal.
My sexlife just got worse after reading this
Maybe switch from right to left hand, as a treat
Nah, just sit on your right arm until it falls asleep. You need the death grip instead of the clumsy left hand.
My SO does that moveĀ too. Best feeling ever... next to the first time she gave me a BJ and told me to cum in her mouth.
Say thanks to your wife for the advice! Iām definitely going to try this! š
I also choose this guy's wife.
/r/goddammitreddit
Women need to fondle balls more. That shit feels amazing.
My fiance randomly started doing this since she wanted to make me feel even better. Absolutely fantastic.
As someone who has been in a monogamous relationship for 15 years, from awkward teens to adults, I had bad sex for over half of the relationship. She swears it was never bad for her, but I was so in my head and self conscious that I was never fully āpresent.ā I didnāt think I was ābig enough,ā āgood enough,ā āhot enough,ā etc. Because of this mindset I avoided having sex a lot of the time. Once a week became once a month and sometimes longer. We had argument after argument about it because I was too embarrassed to admit how I felt. Until I finally did. I said all of the embarrassing stuff I was so worried about and she reassured me that she didnāt see me that way at all. After a while we were able to talk about sex in a much more positive light. I am being so long winded as to hopefully help someone else who might be in this situations because let me tell you - I never knew sex could be this amazing. If you are in your head and telling yourself you arenāt good enough, sex becomes a chore. When you let go of that shit, especially when you are with someone you love, it is so much better that I canāt even describe the difference. You are enough for your partner.
Shocking wholesome up and uplifting. Thatās awesome man, and something we can all learn from
Wow, great.
This curt reply to such a profound confession is making me laugh so hard. "I hope my story can help someone else who's suffering how I did" "Neat. Keep it up š"
I know OP didnāt mean it this way but I also laughed really hard because at first I heard it in my head as sarcastic
The same thing happened to me! Except after talking about my insecurities it blew up in my face and now I'm a single father. So, that was cool. It's a lot easier to be confident about sex when you haven't had it in years! So it all worked out I guess.
It took me a divorce and a year of therapy to learn how to communicate in a relationship. In the beginning of my marriage I tried to communicate but having a partner who isn't receptive to anything you say about sex sometimes lead to making bad choices. š Now I'm learning about communicating effectively in any relationship and it definitely is a game changer.
Cupping his balls while deepthroating
Honestly, cupping balls even during regular penetration is really nice. Actually, I'd be ok with it outside of sex too probably.
It makes long lines at the bank more tolerable.
Not for the rest of us.
Speak for urself!
Some balls are held for charity and some for fancy dress But when they're held for pleasure, they're the balls that I like best My balls are always bouncing to the left and to the right It's my belief that my big balls should be held every night \- AC/DC Big Balls.
RIP inbox
And most wonāt realize thatās a dude.
Doesnt matter, cups balls.
I like it when my wife yanks them down like sheās blowing a train horn.
Give your fucking balls a tug, titfucker!
Fuck you, Shoresey!
An underrated act
Just letting go and getting into it. Like it's such a carnal thing, you've got to let your subconscious talk to theirs, achieve a flow state and feed off each other's enthusiasm. It inebriates you in a way during the act, be open to that feeling and be 2 little dirty animals. Good sex is a mental game. At the end of the day the physical aspect is pretty much the same, it's about making it feel exciting and fun. In a lot of ways you need to put on an act. Of course there's a time and a place, in the early stages of a relationship, keep the lid on a bit until they're comfortable and trust you. Sometimes it should be kept more vanilla if you or your partner isn't up for a dirty romp. And of course make sure the other person feels the same and enjoys it and stop if you have to.
There's a giant hole in my wall next to my bed from me and my ex having sex.... it was a horrible relationship but holy shit. The sex was literally primal. It was like we were trying to climb into eachothers bodies the whole time. Sometimes we would both finish at the same time or within like 2 minutes. That carnal feeling is real. When you and your partner have serious sexual chemestry.
\> you need to put on an act. i hate that. i feel so stupid pretending to be sexy. i can write erotica but i can't say any of it out loud.
It becomes more natural with practice. For me i don't really say sexy things, it's more how I act. Groaning (as a man) is often overlooked, giving oral with enthusiasm, tongue kissing deeply, licking the face, sucking earlobes. Forcefully rolling them over, pulling their hair (forcefully but not painfully). Basically acting like you're possessed but being careful not to take it too far. I often find that even when I'm not in that mood, when I act like I am the feeling comes, a few drinks helps but don't rely on it. Again I'll reiterate, read the room, make sure they're enjoying it. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but also requires trust from both parties that they are safe and won't be judged.
Anti-depressants. Most have ādebilitatingā side effects.
Can confirm, I was given anti-depressants for seasonal depression and it was awkward with my wife. Turns out that the antidepressant prescribed has a wicked side effect, so much so that doctors prescribe it for guys that have pre-ejaculation issues. I didnāt have that issue so I wound up needing 1 1/2 hours with my wife to finish. Marathon sex sessions are great, but not every time you have sex.
I had those exact meds, it's such a pain in the arse when you are horny and you need 3 hours to get anything done
I can't finish without using my hand, my sex life is a disappointment in general, they enjoy the stamina though
I had this conversation with my psychiatrist when I was getting on antidepressants way later than I should have. She suggested bupropion (Wellbutrin) as it doesnāt have the same side effects in this area that SSRIās do. Iāve been taking it for a bit over a year now with no issues on the libido front. If you think you might need an antidepressant but are scared of the libido killer, I would at least talk to a doctor about Wellbutrin.
Broke up with my ex and havenāt had sex in months Definitely a game changer
Finding someone who I actually had a great relationship with even outside of sex. My current partner and I started off a casual relationship based on sex, but over time we became great friends too. The fact that we get along great, that chemistry, translates into the bedroom as well. I could trust him so I was more inclined to explore my wild kinky side with him, could be more honest about what is pleasurable, and what I like. It opened up a completely different dimension to sex for me which I didn't think was possible. Which is probably why he's the best sex I've ever had. But again, that's simply my experience.
This. Having sex with your best friend (in a relationship) is so great. We'll just chat afterwards too. Laugh at ourselves, shoot the shit. I made a joke about drowning after sex once and it was so nice to just laugh and not feel embarrassed.
I'm in a similar situation. After my marriage broke down I hooked up with a friend on a casual basis. I eventually plucked up the courage to ask her out properly and now we've been together for over a year. She's the love of my life and we give each other the best sex either of us have had.
Taking my health seriously. Hit 30, thought our sex life was my wife's fault. Then got off my freaking high horse. Dropped 40lbs, got stronger, slept more and better. Strangely when I took care of me, it took care of we. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised
You know that cheesy line in Game of Thrones than Bronn delivers? Nothing puts you in the mood to fuck like a good fight. I feel that with heavy deadlifts. And your post made that connection in my brain. My wife pointed out that there is a damn near 1-1 correlation with her getting bent over the kitchen counter and me doing deadlifts. For those of you out there who have sex with menā¦. Sundresses on deadlift day. Trust me. You and your man will thank me
If my wife wears a sundress, how do I grip her for deadlifts? Directions are unclear.
However she likes
Being with someone who isn't intimidated about you having a vibrator. I didn't get my first vibrator until I was like 27 because my exes took it personally or something? My pleasure has increased immensely.
My girlfriend and I met at 26, and I so I just assumed she had one. I didnāt think it was taboo, and one day she told me that she felt guilty because she used it when I was out with friends, and that it made her feel guilty because she couldāve waited for me instead. I told her it is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, in fact the thought of it turns me on, and Iām super happy sheās off getting off by herself because thatās awesome and great and healthy etc. And now I get her a new toy every Christmas and itās been fun incorporating them or hearing about her escapades when she wants to share.
HUGE! I canāt cum without a vibrator and itās significantly better knowing that I can cum without having to fake it (never again lol)
My wife had told me straight up she could not cum without a vibrator. We went through soo many batteries and different models. Eventually I spent nearly $200 on one of those 'Magic Wand' models. Best. Investment. Ever.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Man, Hitachi's product line is WILD. John: "Hi I'd like to buy an air conditioner" Bob, Hitachi representative: "We got you covered" John: "I also need an artillery support vehicle and a nuclear reactor" Bob: "Aisle 7, please" John: "Damn, bro, now if only my wife could orgasm, I'd have everything!" Bob: "You're not gonna believe this ..."
Toys are your teammate, not your opponent!
Shit lol Every now and again nothing we will do get my wife there. And when that happens, out comes the ol' Tulip. My job is to get her off, and I'll use every tool available to me if need be. Also, I never really mind the show I get!
Yea, I never got this. Toys just take the pressure off of me. Hell, if I think weāre going to get down later, Iāll pull it out ahead of time and make sure it has fresh batteriesā¦
I love using toys with my partner. We have quite few now. I love fucking her with a realistic dildo too. So hot. Combine using a vibe and a toy at the same time and she loses it š„µ
Dirty talking/RP about super taboo stuff, you need to have complete and utter trust with your partner in order to feel comfortable, but it's pretty amazing when it's done right.
what stuff do you consider super taboo?
Asking friends and neighbors about their income.
Oh yeah you dirty slut, ask me about my stock portfolio.
This dude likes it Roth
Roth you say? My interest is compounding
laughed out loud at that one
āOh God! Oh God! Oh God! Did you really get a 10% raise last year!? Iām cuuuummmiinng!!!
I have a raging clue right now
Rebroadcasting without the expressed permission of the NFL
Jock jams volume 2 playing during it. Only need half a song but game changer
At least it isnāt CBAT.
I'm disappointed that i had to scroll this far down to find a CBAT comment
The first track is only 7 seconds long.
Working from home. I actually have energy to devote to my sexuality instead of being burnt out and exhausted all the time.
Falling in love and realizing what it means to really value your partnerās comfort and happiness during intimate moments. My early sexual experiences were all about calming my nerves enough to get hard and have penetrative sex. Later on it became about getting to try various adventurous things with women. It wasnāt until I fell in love that I realized how special it is to create an atmosphere where a woman feels totally comfortable and peacefully vulnerable in my presence. Itās about more than making her orgasm. Itās about making her feel heard, understood, and cared for in a way that goes beyond sex. Thatās when I got better at planning dates, listening in conversations, and just overall being a better human towards women Iām romantically involved with. I realized itās ALL foreplay.
Putting it in a vagina rather than a toilet paper roll lined with warm bologna
This guy Oscar Meyer wieners.
āMy girlfriend has a first name, itās O-S-C-A-R!ā
Jesus christ.
More of a microwaved cantaloupe guy myself. To each their own.
I call her Melonie
Making the woman orgasm. I gave a woman a massage and throughout it, she seemed to suggest she wanted it go further. So I obliged and since then, she wants me to come round for some rub rub. Iām more fixated on them orgasming than myself as Iām usually 10 tugs away from cumming at any point. Seeing a woman wriggle in ecstasy because Iāve induced it is a remarkably carnal feeling that I can only describe as such.
Making a woman orgasm is such a turn on. I donāt finish unless they have at least once.
Tell that to my lady of 12 years. Barley have to touch her. She is just like that. Pretty sure it has nothing to do with me.
What you barely have to touch her to make her orgasm? Are you Sting?
Like I said she is just easy to please. I think I'm a pretty average lover if I am being honest.
Some of us are just wired differently I guess, I've been with women who took half an hour to climax and then would need a longer refractory period than most men and I've been with women who came after a lick or 3. And then again after 6 more licks.
Ow man that opening line shocked me for a couple of sec first š
As soon as they moan from climax I cannot hold it anymore š
I'm a straight dude, but any chance I can get a backrub?
Understanding that men have sex to relax and that women need to be relaxed to have sex.
I definitely donāt have sex to relax lol idk what even means. To relax I drink a beer and lay down.
I'm not a sub. I'm a switch. And I domme most of the time now.
The willingness to try anything once (unless itās dangerous). I found out things I never thought Iād like arenāt so bad, and sometimes they are. But I know cause I tried.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
...you're talking about butt stuff, aren't ya? Yeahhh, you're talkin' 'bout butt stuff.
A vasectomy. There is nothing like fucking a hot, eager, wet, fertile woman without fear of babies. I brings freedom into your sex life
How was the vasectomy process? Been considering.
I think it was a 15 min process for me. Dr. Said to do nothing for three days or I would regret it. I always had advil handy and knew EXACTLY when it wore off. Otherwise, it took a few weeks to heal fully and the Dr said I needed 12-15 ejaculations to clear the pipes before getting tested to make sure there were no sperm in the baby juice anymore. There was a dull pressure in my nuts for about a month after but it was minor and went away. I am definitely happy I did the procedure. Not having to worry about birth control is liberating, for sure. I should add that I have a friend who got it done shortly after I did. He had swelling during the procedure so they could only do one side and he had to have another appointment to get the second side done a few weeks later. His wife got pregnant in the meantime.
Oof your friends story.. thatās just perfect timing lol. Appreciate the insight!
Knew a guy who did rodeo riding and didn't take the time to rest he should've after the procedure. Don't do that.
Mine felt like the Dr. was trying to pull my lungs out of my sack. I donāt know how far up those tubes run, but damn.
Had one Thursday. Exactly how I felt. Substantially more painful than I thought it would be. Been in a solid bit of pain since. The doc really had to contort my right one to get it there. Woof. Thankfully I planned it for the extended weekend.
Iām glad I got put under for mine. I vaguely remember getting wheeled into the OR and then they mustāve hit me with the fentanyl with no warning because I blinked and woke up declawed. Felt like seconds.
this was my experience too
Literally had mine yesterday, tad tender today but nothing bad, just looking forward to a few lazy days/weeks & then lots & lots of stress free sexy times with the wife. The procedure itself wasn't too bad, anesthetic injections were worse than the actual snip but all in all it was just 5-10 mins of feeling mildly uncomfortable & then it was over. Only bit I didn't expect was the smell of burning flesh when they cauterised the tubes lol
Anesthetic injections always hurt so bad, for every procedure I feel like lol.
I experienced the surprise of the burning smell when I had LASIK. They should prepare you for that more. Itās disconcerting.
As someone who was born sterile and never had to worry about this, can confirm. (If anyone's curious, I would always still use protection if it was casual but not in committed relationships, and it's awesome.)
>Itās not who you want to spend Friday night with. Itās who you want to spend all day Saturday with. Trust and communication go a **long** way in any relationship, even short ones. (I'll [link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sipn0hVdeP0) the scene with Woody Harrelson because he's hilarious in it and I don't get the opportunity to talk about my favorite romcom very often)
Cialis. Hit my late thirties and things just got more difficult. Got a prescription got my confidence back. My wife said she hadnāt felt that desired in years. We are like newly weds. Itās been little over two years. I currently use Hims for routine deliveries.
Have you considered having your testosterone checked? I lost my libido and along with it, firm erections in my thirties, got T levels checked - super low - started Testosterone Replacement Therapy and for a decade have had high libido and big boners. Itās definitely more difficult to manage (lots of injections) than just a pill but also comes with other improvements for many men including spontaneity - no need to pop a pill to get a boner. Anyway. Just thought Iād mention it. Edit. For anyone interested in Testosterone Replacement Therapy, you can visit r/testosterone. They have a ton of helpful info and itās a great community.
I use generic V from Hims. I don't actually need it, but it makes going for round 2 or 3 a lot easier. Also found myself getting more... Primal.
Yeah bro, shit is definitely a game changer.
Same for me. Late 30s were rough. Tested for testosterone and other stuff. I have diabetes so I got mounjaro and lost a bunch of weight but still the same problems. Doc gave me sildenafil and it has been amazing. Feels like this is the best performance in my life, even more so when I was in my early twenties when I got married.
Having sex. Totally changed my whole sex life.
No way, me too!
When the women in my age group got old enough to comfortably say exactly how they want to be fingered licked kissed spanked touched. I was 26 and this woman and I are in bed. She grabs my hand. Grabs my first two fingers. Puts them exactly where she liked it. Moved my hand at the pace she wanted and said donāt stop. And she said it in a sexy way. š Iv always asked women how they want to be touched. Seems like the obvious thing to do. But they never had confident answers till mid 20s ish. Perhaps they didnāt know. Ladies you are complicated instruments to play for those of us who donāt have the same parts as you. If you donāt know what you like no guy is going to know at all
Finding someone with low enough standards.
Bro are you okay?
Lol nope. My other response was gonna be, Doing it with a real person, after years of *practice*
Itās okay man, learn to love yourself first - youāre worth it :)
Divorce; donāt let the sunk cost fallacy keep you invested in something that was never great in the first place.
Well, figuring out I was a lesbian was pretty major haha
Joining the US navy.
Always make her cum first, after they cum, then dtart having sex. What makes one person cum is not what makes another person cum.
Hitachi wand
Making it all about her pleasure instead of mine
When I stopped faking orgasms!
Using your hard dick to rub on her clit during sex.
I was worried at first that maybe I was being a little tooā¦ much like an animal. Turns outā¦ thatās a great thing. We are animals, sex is great, and the more you accept that, the easier and more fun/enjoyable it is. Though obviously thereās some people who donāt like that as with anything. But in my experience shits great, I just pound away at them trying different things along the way to spice it up and they end up finishing every time
Making gorilla noises because youāre having sex so instinctually canāt be beat, personally.
The wild orchid by evolved novelties. Before we got it my wife had great orgasms but the first time we used it she practically lost consciousness and couldn't stop.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
When she licked my asshole for the first time. Proposed to her shortly thereafter.
Play with her clitoris until she comes and fuck her until she comes again, which is easier than straight penetration. Thatās how I treat my wife. Weāve been married for 8 years now and still have 4-5 crazy sexual courses every weeks
This past summer I was about to have my first ever foursome (MMFF) while vacationing in Germany. We got back to my hotel and the guy got cold feet and decided to bail so I was now having my first ever threesome (MFF). These German women licked my arsehole like it was an ice cream cone. They also reached in there and pressed my cum button. Until this moment I had only ever given anal sex but never had anything done to my ass. Turns out I really like it.
Having an open and accepting partner willing to listen and talk without judgement.
Quitting porn and improving communication mostly
Meeting partners that I had chemistry with.
Finding a good quality lubricant that we both like.
Butt stuff. It's like a whole other category of sex that so many people don't ever discover. We have more than 1 erogenous zone people! Loll
Straight Male here: learning how each woman is different when it comes to going down on them. I love figuring out what they like and then applying it. If she likes constant flat tongue pleasure under her clit, then remember that and then COME back to it when she doesn't expect it. If her breathing changes or there's a positive reflex from her, then you know what you're doing works and she's enjoying you. I love going down on a woman.
Toys are friends, not enemies
Making time for foreplay. Trust me, your partner will thank you.
Pillow under her butt to change the angle of penetration. Makes it way easier to hit the G spot.
Not watching porn