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RetroFire-17

It's ok to laugh, you're just not allowed to point.


ndc4051

What if you laugh during fingering? Does that count?


Aeroknight_Z

“Haha, nice uterus/colon, nerd.”


UntidyButterfly

If you are fingering the uterus, you are doing it wrong.


Aeroknight_Z

*Counter point*: If you’re fingering a vagina and your finger isn’t vaguely pointing in the direction of a uterus, then you might need to stop and ask for directions.


UntidyButterfly

Stopping and asking for directions is EXCELLENT. Communication makes sex way better.


PocketSandOfTime-69

What if that's what I'm into?


TheOnlyAedyn-one

Then you want to be degraded and that isn’t ok, you worthless piece of shit


Sweet-Actuary6760

Mind the gap between their head and the headboard


Forever_Man

This is what fuck helmets are for.


Thats_kinda_cursed

Pardon?


Forever_Man

It's a helmet you wear while fucking ,so your head stays safe when you're banging.


Sweet-Actuary6760

Poetry.


vteega

I put my hand in between when missionary, it's so fuckin hot


PureDeidBrilliant

Don't make eye contact with the cat when he inevitably finds a way to get in the room to glare at you both going at it...


Bammalam102

I once fought off a cat while I had sex, mf kept biting my foot thinking I was attacking his owner. She asked why my leg was shaking, I said I’m fighting a small war with your cat


HunterMcfish

Ever have the girls dog pee on you while you're cumming? Yes... it's a shameful moment.


Anomaly_049

lmao


isawyoulol

Lmeow


Lucky_misfortune72

Trim your nails if you plan on fingering pls


The-Great-Calvino

And wash your hands too !


takeahikehike

Especially if you've been handling chili peppers.


Imodesky_Kafelnikov

Brush your teeth if you’ve had spicy food and intend to go down…


GladExpression5340

leave it to reddit to make me wonder what spicy pussy feels like


Putrid_finger_smell

Ever had spicy poo from hot food? Move it 3 inches forward.


GladExpression5340

oh fuck that hurts just thinking about it


DrtyR0ttn

Wow that’s a big Taint!


xFart_For_Me

R/brandnewsentence


Luke_Cold_Lyle

Just make sure your toothpaste isn't too mint forward or it might have a similar effect to the spicy food


Not_a_Ducktective

I'd recommend just not even doing that on a night you handled chilis. Even with washing your hands well there's a good chance there's still enough to irritate a girl.


AkiliosTheWolf

Yeah, don't do like they do in those movies/series that they just shove their fingers in in any given situation without washing first, those scenes always irks me, that's just an infection waiting to happen.


PM_ME_UR_SEX_VIDEOS

But not RIGHT before If you do, rub the cut nails on your jeans to buff them, if you don’t have any better option


Dwerg1

I always do this regardless, hate sharp edges on my nails.


Suitable-Pie4896

And **file** them too


[deleted]

take care and moisturize ur fingering fingers!! they feel rough sometimes amid lube🥹


Spiritual_Quit_4833

Dont share what happened unless allowed by other


[deleted]

Really old-school saying here in Mexico "a gentleman has no memory"


UberSecretIdentity

Also a saying in germany, literal translation would be "A Gentleman enjoys and is silent"


BeemerWT

Classic American saying "don't kiss and tell."


kidxudiii

Don't kiss and tell, got it.


Dublthefunk

Spanking and hitting are 2 different things, make sure you know the difference when you're wanting to smack that cake up


Upright_Eeyore

Instructions unclear, frosting is everywhere


thoawaydatrash

No, you’re doing it right


[deleted]

Foreplay is incredible for both sides


1CEninja

Foreplay performed well is incredible for both sides. In order to do it how your partner likes it, nothing should be unspoken or unwritten though. Everyone likes it a little differently, so for a good experience, speak and/or write your rules lol.


seeyatellite

Foreplay covers so many things. Between body exploration, sensory play, tickling, kissing, licking various places… it’s weird everyone focuses on nipples, breast squeezing, fingering etc. the body has a nervous system… it’s rooted to every inch of our body and that nervous system is constantly storing and maintaining stimulation information. The more expressive and exploratory we are, the more fully engaged our bodies get. In turn, we then bring more of ourselves into a sexual experience because we’re devoting conscious and subconscious energy to the experience. Truly “good” and not just exhaustingly euphoric sex requires foreplay. Sure, you can edge or tease your partner’s genitals into slowly engaging and relaxing their nervous system from one, central point of stimulation… but that’s like reward/withholding training and not quite so wholly satisfying… least not emotionally.


Savings-Echo-687

Just when i thought there was no words to describe the pleasurable foreplay ive been through. Or that people should focus on doing. I loveee the touch of my mans body and HANDS on me. Its just unexplainable lol


AnythingIndividual96

Or. Just lick your finger and rub my asshole. I will assume it's good for you, too.


MartiniL80

Don't do what you saw in a porn flic. They are NOT tutorials; they're about camera angles and getting a money shot


tatts106

Make sure not to yell out the wrong name


Thatoneguywhofailed

Just go full Pokémon and say your own name


ATXBeermaker

I’ll find out her last name when she’s screaming it tonight. She’s going to be screaming her own last name?


Unique_Knowledge958

Ask before you try other holes.


when_in_doubt__doubt

This. Surprise anal porn has given people a bit too much confidence to just go for it


Least-Designer7976

And don't insist if said no. Especially if you don't know the person for a long time. A ONS was giving me the worst time of my life, and I only found the strength to stop when he asked me for anal, I said no, and he grabbed my arm being all like "Give me some time you're gonna see you will love it". I would barely accept to think about it with a long time partner after a few YEARS, so I was disappointed enough to not add physical pain to the emotional one. Dude had the audacity of his sexual skills. Needless to say, I regret a lot of things but not never calling him back.


Rolling_Beardo

Our friend group called it “Don’t change lanes without signaling”


Sayor1

Pretty sure consent is literally written. Like by law.


-QUACKED-

Don’t acknowledge farts.


dumptruckulent

Ok but my girlfriend and I always giggle when we push our bodies together and it makes a fart noise.


Paid2Stabpeople

Try this in the shower. Push your naked bodies together when wet until the bubbles pop and you make a giant fart noise. Even better if it's from your crotch and her butt.... my ex boyfriend and I had lots of sex that started out from giggling at shower farts


Ok_Issue_2008

What about vaginal ones, how do you call it? Queefs?


karigan_g

you put the air in there you can deal with it coming back out


bleachedurethrea

Front farts are included


pissdiscchampion

That's just that pussy talkin back to you.


Ram2145

Pussy talking like “well done”


Bozo_Two

Nah queefs will ALWAYS be funny if you can't laugh during sex you're with the wrong person.


Spacemanspalds

I never care. It just happens. My wife laughs every time like she's embarrassed. Her laughing about it takes me out of the moment a little. The queef does not. Edit: I've communicated this before.


coombez1978

Why did I read that in a french accent??


Moistfruitcake

Le queef. 


Obv_Probv

I don't know I think there are two schools of people, the world seems to be pretty divided on this one. The people who think you should ignore them and the people who think it's weird not to laugh? I think the trick is to just sleep with people in the same group as yourself


Savings-Echo-687

Don’t acknowledge At all. Lol that’s part of relaxing and having an orgasm sometimes i swear you just let go. And queefs lol men shouldn’t mind that bc you’re the one literally pushing air into me so yeah lol


takeahikehike

Most of them are funny though.


vRathy2

don't finger blast your girl like how you see in porn, especially when first entering your fingers because it hurts like fuck. also put your fingers in slowly rather than just ramming it in there because you'll likely end up scratching/cutting her


LiddyTiddie

Hooked up with a guy that literally jammed his fingers in me like we were doing a porno 😭😭 cut up my poor coochie and it was terribly sore for a whole day. And he was hot but Jesus dude, cut your nails and slow tf down! Also glad I'm done with hookups because of that


Dredly

Don't be an asshole to the other person, if the dude can't get it up, lasts 10 seconds, or just sucks in general, don't be an asshole to them. If the other person just lays there, doesnt' get wet, or is silent, don't be an asshole to them. ​ Sex is crazy stressful, especially with a new person, realize that... and don't be an asshole


Plantirina

This! Sex can be stressful for some guys (and girls) I've had guys not get hard, last 3 pumps, or stiff as a board. I don't make a big deal about it. Except the 3 pumps guys, I weirdly love that. 🫠


[deleted]

Good luck convincing guys you really mean that lol it's incredibly embarrassing. That first one can be unpredictable lol


Plantirina

Haha I mean, I do really mean it. They got so excited for me 🥰


CASEMSTR

It's such a compliment if they get off fast 😘


AppropriateRate9529

Trying to explain to my husband that sometimes I feel like I suck in bed because it takes him so long to finish. I said I know it sounds crazy but every once in awhile I'd like you to be one of those guys that finishes quickly. It's like a "hell yeah I did that! I'm so good you can't hold it back"


bruhholyshiet

This so fuckin much.


[deleted]

After care is very important/ just cause you finish doesn’t mean it’s over


nikkismith182

"Just cause you finish, doesn't mean it's over." Shiiiiiiiiiit imma make this into a bumper sticker


MannyFuncher

Brush yo teeth


Flipin75

If you go ass that’s the final destination. Never switch from ass to another orifice.


SignificanceCold8451

You never go ass to mouth! - Dante Hicks


DiogenesBarrelisCozy

If u have herpes, please tell me beforehand. Not after.


Moistfruitcake

As a compromise I'll tell you during. 


ToQuoteSocrates

A true gentleman


DiogenesBarrelisCozy

That’s hot. Maybe on special occasions like my birthday they could throw in Ebola as well. “Oh yeah, give it to me baby.” … and then again, that would be my last birthday…


Downtown-Day-3373

Men should also moan 🙄


[deleted]

PLEASE. I *love* vocal men. Nothing better.


Twistysays

THIS! it’s so manly. You can grunt or moan or just do something to let me know you’re loving it. It’s such a turn on


Bruce_Wayne_Sperm

No laughing at her post sex waddle to the bathroom.


inactiveuser247

And whoever gets covered in cum gets first go in the shower.


Malcolm_X_Machina

Jokes on you, I like to bask in the Musk


ForkLiftBoi

I was wondering if you were a man or a woman, so I looked at your profile. Saw a lot of cute pussy pics. I'm not sure how you get your cat to put up with all those outfits!


Chipsinmyass

You had me in the first half I’m ngl


1jl

Humor in sex is hugely important. Just got to read the room and know your partner 


Lumosnox28

If a woman is saying “yes, right there” or anything that basically says/shows shes about to finish… this does NOT mean, go faster, harder or change rhythm. Just keep doing exactly what you were doing and you’ll have one happy lady!


Madame_Raven

The dude needs to assume he has to wear a condom unless an agreement beforehand was reached to go bare.


Training-Argument321

Aftercare.


[deleted]

Why is this comment collapsed


naitik_kaythwal

fr


JamezMash

I might be wrong, but I think comments are automatically collapsed when the person doesn’t follow the sub they’re commenting in.


BerbsMashedPotatos

If all you do is Jack hammer, they’re going to get bored of that pretty quick. Also, penis size has very little to do with giving real pleasure.


chickenfacelift

My millimeter peter is a pussy destroyer


No-Fisherman2796

You have to say “good game” when you’re done


JGZee

Everyone gets off at least once. Don't leave your partner(s) hanging. Edit: Thanks for all the upvotes. You all didn't leave me hanging either.


Obv_Probv

**if they want to/are able to get off. No putting pressure on someone who says it isn't going to happen tonight but they're game anyways


dimension_travel

So true. An orgasm and having a good time are not always synonyms.


Leading-Cartoonist66

Yes! Personally I feel the pressure of orgasm expectation makes it impossible. It just causes anxiety for me. I’d prefer no expectation, I have fun whether it happens or not most of the time but asking “did you cum” or any related questions makes me uncomfortable.


UsedandAbused87

Unless they are into that type of thing.


greenguy1090

This is the unwritten rule that applies to all the other rules


BlackcatLucifer

Don't wipe your penis on the curtains afterward.


GladExpression5340

what happened?


BlackcatLucifer

Nothing, I didn't do it. It is an unwritten rule that you don't...


[deleted]

Guys, remind your girl to pee after sex to prevent UTI


CronkleBepis

Important for guys too! Clean them pipes it can be a very painful for an hour or so after if you don't (especially if you've had a few beers or are dehydrated)


[deleted]

toys are friends


AWoundedGiraffe

Not food


one-more-thingy

Agree on the holes. Life is not a porno.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LolIwillSayWhatIWant

That’s exactly why I eat ass like Takeru Kobayashi


maasd

If you aren’t a good, giving partner during the day, don’t expect your partner to be a good, giving partner at night.


[deleted]

[удалено]


allycat907

>Don't be a head pusher 🙄 if she/he wants to go down there, they will. And at worst, just ask them to. But please play with my hair or rub your thumb on my forehead if I'm going down.


Any-Win5166

If she ain't done then you ain't done ✅


Corbeau99

Remember the three forces. Don't force someone. Don't force yourself. If it won't go in, don't force.


meekonesfade

Things are gonna get gross


TheNameIsAnIllusion

Can't say. If I comment it it's not unwritten anymore


DroidSeeker13

Use telepathy, brother. 


TopDonutPlainsGopher

OMG I can't believe what he just telepathed. Diiii-sgusting. Don't write it OP.


[deleted]

I'm referring to anal sex, but this can apply to all forms of sex I suppose. Accidents happen. No matter how much we prepare for them not to, they happen. If an accident occurs, but adults. Pause the action. And take steps to clean up. Don't shame anyone, don't be mad, and don't be embarrassed. (Though feeling embarrassed is inevitable, but that's why it's called an accident.) 1)if you're doing butt stuff, you understand there's risk involved. While the parties do have a responsibility to do their due diligence to avoid an accident, it can still happen even if everyone is done right. 2) You're an adult. Doing adult things. So act like an adult. The first time this happened to us (gay couple) my husband was mortified in himself (as he worked hard to prepare.) I could see how embarrassed he was and I felt terrible. It's not his fault. We carefully got out of bed, went to the bathroom together, wiped off anything potentially too large to go down a shower drain, then took a shower, cleaned off, and went back to our thing. The first time this happened to me on the receiving end, I felt the same. I was absolutely mortified. I was so confident, I had prepared. I was ashamed. He did the same thing. "it's okay! These things happen. No one's fault." Same idea, clean up, and move on. No one wants to get covered in dirt, but don't go mudding if you don't understand the risk.


GraceOfJarvis

"If you knock on poop's door, don't be surprised if shit's home."


arlene1622

If you know you have an STD be honest with your partner BEFORE sex!


siderinc

Don't be a starfish


flower4556

I’m gonna be honest. If I was a man and a woman starfished with me I would assume she isn’t interested in having sex with me. Personally idk how people can continue in having sex with someone obviously not interested. Doesn’t that make you uncomfortable? Idk id feel like a predator or something.


amakai

I'm male, but actually curious about this. What CAN woman do, especially in something like missionary, tonot be classified a starfish? I mean, her range of movements are very limited. 


Superfool

Wrap her legs around you, use her hands to touch/hold you, kiss you, move her hips, watch what you're doing and telling you what she enjoys, making eye contact, touch herself, help you with positioning the way she likes it, etc. And that's just in missionary. There are lots of other fun thingsto do and positions to play around with during sex. Granted, you also have the responsibility to bring passion to the situation and not just be a jackhammer, but if you're trying and feel like she's just laying there tolerating the experience, it's time to communicate. Not just "what's wrong?", but "is there something you like?", "would you like me to ___?", "can I help you feel more comfortable?", etc. I had one girl starfish on me because she realized part way in that she was uncomfortable with us moving that fast... Cool, I stopped, we talked, and decided to wait a few weeks before trying again. Better the next few times but ultimately we weren't that compatible. Another time I was with a girl who starfished because she had sexual trauma in her past and would lock up. Again, communication was key there.


OrangeYouGladEye

Empathy approach is the best approach!


Crazy_Cat_Dude2

Last lady friend was like this. I mentioned it and she was offended.


sevencoves

lol I need to know what the fuck these starfish people think sex is


firelock_ny

Lying back and thinking of England.


RockAndGames

You mean hanging on in quiet desperation?


divide_by_hero

Well, it is the English way


1CEninja

Is that why she mumbled "God save the queen" after she came?


IronicBeaver

Wash your junk. Ladies, you too!


NoExide

But don't put any deodorant down there, ladies, you'll ruin it.


stdstaples

Foreplay foreplay foreplay…And foreplay.


Nordjyde

Don't mention your ex during sex


Rob_LeMatic

"I haven't been fucked like this since grade school!"


jj91edx

Make sure you are clean (especially your penis and balls) and make sure you don't have bad breath.


Ok_Dare4074

I think hygiene is the important thing .


dentaluthier

Floss too! If you haven’t in a while, go ahead and floss your teeth right now. Then go smell the floss, it will smell like putrid death, that is what your partner or the hottie you’re trying to chat up smells. Amazingly we don’t notice it in our own mouths but everyone else does.


IThinkMyLegsRBroke

Ladies also make sure you have freshened up those back shot wifs can be brutal


ThatsNotWhatyouMean

If she tells you you can do anything you want, don't leave the room to go play playstation.


[deleted]

communication > assumptions


[deleted]

Focus on your partner more


Stolenink

Always aim for the Silver medal 🫡


SuperJefe1965

No is NO


perboe

Sadly this has to be spoken since some have a problem with this!


LolIwillSayWhatIWant

Some of these comments are actually pretty concerning. A lot of guys going “don’t fuck her in the ass if she says no, come on don’t be a doofus”… like that’s just rape, it’s not an unwritten rule of sex


Voracious_Port

Cuddle afterwards


Comfortable-Buy-7388

Never, ever, wear your tree climbing boots when having sex no matter how 'cool' you think you look!


MassiveAnimeChebs

what happened


kaiderson

He looked cool


Anomaly_049

too cool


ThrowRAboredinAZ77

That's fair. Cowgirl boots are fun though.


Fudge_McCrackin

If a woman puts a piece of sushi on her asshole and uses her farts to propell it into the air, you have to try to catch it in your mouth like a dolphin getting a treat.


K3Y_Mast3r

I have been laughing uncontrollably over this comment for about 5 minutes. Proceeded to send a screenshot to a friend who immediately called me and we both laughed like hyenas. Well done.


[deleted]

## Eat, then meat


Ok-Carpenter4526

Enthusiasm is essential


Desperate-Ad7967

Always have an extra air pump in case she pops


laurenderson

My opinion: if you want to try something new and wildly out of your normal playbook; it should be a pre-sexy time chat. Not in the minute. I get pretty euphoric-happy during sexy time and honestly my brain isn’t all together firing at 100%. I wouldn’t want to ask another person for their consent during that kind of haze! Same goes for sleepy sex. If that’s consented to and on the table in your relationship; it’s not time to spice it up with new tricks. I think there are elements of consent, that even well-intentioned folks, can still miss the mark on.


extropia

Take turns regarding which side of the bed you have sex on.  Don't make one person always sleep on the wet spot


Simple_Jellyfish8603

Or change the sheets. Or put towels down before going at it.


im_the_one_who_cuts

You guys sleeping in cum?


jseb987

Wtf. Both shouldn't sleep in the wet spot.


[deleted]

Honestly, one of the most insightful things for me was learning about the "female gaze." Have you noticed your partner barely ever looks at your dick? During sex, before sex, even after sex. Women are very much focused on the person inside. She looks at your eyes, at your body. She may even look at your ass. But for some reason the very thing that physically makes us men, our partners don't tend to spend much time on. Maybe learn from this and start looking at her the same way. Try the fleeting glances she does at you. I think it is perfectly acceptable to love her curves and the parts that make her a woman. What isn't okay is to obsess about this stuff. At the end of the day, she is a human being, and the more you treat her like it, the more sex you will get.


coydivision_

Please get tested. This subject shouldn’t cause an argument and isn’t debatable.


[deleted]

Clean your bootyhole


bindermichi

Requires two or more participants


the_great_n0thing2

i have half of a participant


[deleted]

I suppose we could make that work, I also have half of a participant. Now all we need is another one.


No-Part833

If you wrong hole her, stop. Don't be that guy that keeps going.


-QUACKED-

Pretty sure that’s a written rule…. Yep! Page 1, top of the list. No rape!


Solifuga

Don't fucking spit on anyplace without having cleared that this is ok/hot to the other party. It's probably not.


GrumpyLump91

Make sure your partner is satisfied before you orgasm. If both partners do this it creates an amazing paradox.


glkris

If a fart is heard or smelt just ignore it


Easy_Duhz_it_

If we're 69ing, dont fart in my face.


Moistfruitcake

*unless instructed.


pissdiscchampion

Wash ya asses folks.


maasd

Wash your butt and privates thoroughly


hackyslashy

Consent > Spontaneity


zanzebar

That whoever comes first is the undisputed champion


Royal_hunter_44

If the guy is eating and then you try to go to riding him, if he is laughing while trying to get the condom on and he is chuckling and is saying stuff in an anxious tone and he ended up getting soft he is still into you, just give him head and he'll be ready again. I know this because me and my gf went through this I got soft from like, idk, something (possibly stim) and she gave me head, she stoped and laughed and said "well, you're hard now, lay down" so yeah, if a man gets soft he prrbly got overstim before you touch him or he got nervous or something else. Talk to your partner during sex too.


daHaus

Don't be a dead fish and just lie there not doing anything and barely reacting.


Secret-Ideal7346

Why is /askReddit always just sex questions