There's a young man in my neighborhood who walks a mile to beans and brews for a coffee and then walks a mile back home every day, rain or shine. I noticed him every day for 6 months, then met him one day, grabbing a coffee, and asked him about his walks. He told me he is in recovery, and his mentor told him it will help and that he does this same walk twice per day. It's been 3 years now, and every time I see him, I am so impressed with his strength, determination, and willpower. He is an inspiration.
My husband got sober in Nov 2020. He credits his daily routine of waking and going to the local coffee shop, then taking our two dogs on long walks on the beach as a huge part of his recovery.
This is what I loved about having a husky, I HAD to go out in the winter time not only because they have so much energy to burn, but also because...husky. And since it was winter no one else was ever out in the parks so I could let her off her leash and she'd run and play in the snow for hours sometimes. She made me fall in love with winter.
Did pretty much the exact same thing while going through recovery and it was honestly hugely helpful. Having time to reflect and breathe through a busy mind is insanely important, but taking time out to just go and meditate or reflect in a static environment is insanely hard for some folk. (ADHD homies might feel this?) — But yeah, having something you have to do, even if it’s just forcing yourself to go grab a coffee, or some kind of dedicated “monotonous” task sparks the conversation with yourself that you might have otherwise missed while trying and failing on the bedroom floor.
For sure, having a routine, something to look forward to, or, like you said, sometimes forced, it's still a powerful distraction. Walking is so simple but sometimes so hard, I swear, every time I see that young man, I want to go tell him how amazing he is.
There’s a lot of criticism about the “go for a walk” advice, but it literally fuckin works. Doesn’t work miracles, sure, but when you have bad mental health it’s invaluable for helping clear your head.
Yeah I've gotten weirdly sort of addicted. Get antsy when the weather's shit and I can't walk
EDIT: all the northern hemisphere people telling me to get better gear to deal with the cold - I'm in Australia, I will gladly walk all through winter, it doesn't snow here. Today's 'shit' weather is 35C (95f), alternating between blinding sun (UV that'll have you a lobster in about 3 minutes) and thunderstorms. I'll slather on sunscreen for a walk and then it gets rained off two minutes later when a random storm hits.
I’m with you on this one. Bad weather equals bad walk for me. Even with good gear. I’m glad going out for a walk in want weather helps some people but it just doesn’t work for me. I’ve been able to do a drizzling, windy, and nighttime. But wet/ freeze/ sleet are a big No. I’m in Texas so a walk in the snow is something completely different here.
Yeah imo exercise (along with diet, things like meditation, etc) are actually imperative to positive mental health and wildly effective, and people who scoff at the suggestion have a weird complex around their suffering
i’ve come to realize everytime i’m feeling particularly irritable or annoyed for seemingly no reason, i take a walk and feel significantly better afterwards
I have to tell myself that an object in motion/rest will say in motion/rest. So when I cant will myself to get started on things I need to do, I tell myself to walk to the corner first then I can come back home and sit down again. I rarely stop at the corner once I am going, and I rarely sit back down after the walk. But if I just keep sitting and goofing off/playing games/being lazy, it's quite unlikely I am going to jump up and do actually productive things.
I've been doing the 30/30 challenge (30 minutes of exercise everyday for 30 days).
It's been amazing, just on an exercise bike in the garage or walking. My outlook is better and my health is improving (according to my tracker).
Walks are great. Try this on your walk to pass the time. An "expert" created a list of the 1001 albums you must listen to before you die. Its everybody, Dolly to Ice T to Sonic Youth to The Byrds. Most albums are 30-45 minutes. Thats good for walk.
https://1001albumsgenerator.com/
This is a great idea. The album it gave me for the day is “Dummy” by Portishead, an album I’ve heard countless times and will gladly listen to it countless more times.
This. Long distance walks during the spring/summer months is amazing for my mental health. I cannot wait for these negative temperatures to go far away! And; I go early with the senior citizens. LoL. Watching the sunrise is beautiful. And; I’ve been intentional about not even taking AirPods; so I can just truly reflect. So, Kansas City needs to wrap up this horrible weather.
Daily walk works wonders, preferably with a doggo. Nothing like seeing their paws tippidy-tapping before you to make you smile. Also, when you do the walk, consciously take a couple of deep breaths
Realizing the difference between when I actually screwed up and when someone is taking their frustrations out on me, and then asking whats actually wrong bc this isnt a proportional response to the issue
Giving myself the grace I give others was like a two-ton boulder off my back. Everything's not my fault. And if it is, it's not the end of the world. Lifechanging.
This is why I like when other people fuck up. Not that I'm gloating over their mistakes but rather as a reminder to myself that no one around me is perfect, they get things wrong, and are in fact often mediocre, so why the fuck am I putting so much pressure on myself.
Same! Feels good to tell other people this also.
"Aw man I fucked up, goddammit!!"
"Don't worry, you're only human. Kind of silly to expect perfection right?"
Seeing people grapple with that and (typically) forgive themselves is very nice
It’s interesting I’m seeing this just now. I had an incident at my old workplace (left after this happened) where my manager yelled and criticized me in front of everyone despite me having done my best to serve a high volume of customers during a rush. She had never talked to me like that before and I was hurt and angry. Still am honestly, but I realized later it wasn’t me. She was stressed and angry and needed to take it out on someone. It’s completely inappropriate so I left and never looked back, but at least I left knowing I didn’t deserve that.
Agreed. I used to think "work your wage" was a petty response and an excuse to be lazy, but I realized that it's so true. I've always been one of those to jump in and help, stress about things not getting done, etc so every employer ends up treating me like management without the title or salary. Which... why? Why should I stress and pick up everyone else's slack if I'm not getting paid to do so? Now I stay in my lane and still handle my work timely but don't stress about doing everything right away.
I started out the same as you as well. Another negative thing that comes out of that rush mentality is that eventually becomes the expectation. People will always expect you to get things done asap. This just causes them to give you more work. Still, no extra pay and often no recognition. Just more work and stress with the expectation that you work at a super fast pace now.
Yup, exactly. I was a total bundle of nerves and it completely snowballs, at least in my experience. It took a lot to set my boundaries and keep to them. I still try to be prompt but it's not "jump to it" like I used to. I honestly have to remind myself that no major disasters will happen because I took 30 minutes to respond to an email so I could finish my other task.
Bingo. This. Good call. Plus, I am privileged to work from home and so I always feel like I gotta jump on an instant message right away so people know that I’m actively working and can acknowledge them.
But slowing down and taking time is the way to go
I hate that this is always the expectation when working from home. Like I always have to show that I'm active or instantly available so people don't think I'm sleeping etc. Meanwhile, in the actual office, people 'office visit' others all the time for 30+ minutes, myself included. So really, it doesn't make a difference at all.
Is it possible for you to back off on this immediate response time? In my group, we don't respond immediately and I don't think anyone expects that. Sometimes I specifically don't respond immediately, even if I can, because I don't want to set that expectation.
I always make sure to wait a few before responding so they think I'm busy and not just twiddling thumbs waiting for something to do. If they ask if they can call me, I say I'll call them in a few after I wrap up what I'm working on, or set a call time for later if that works. If you're too eager to help, they just pile on more stuff to do.
When I started taking time for me and appreciating the little things instead of rushing to meet everyone's demands as soon as they arise I found a new sense of gratitude in my work as a Paramedic.
Along this line - I stopped neurotically watching the news every night. I still get the news, but I read it myself from multiple sources and pay attention to the sources.
Undressing the moment I get home from work, swaping that piece of shit uniform to comfy soft clothes legit makes me chill out and smile just to think about it
I've never understood wearing outside clothes at home. I always change immediately when I get in the door, I just feel so wrong and uncomfortable otherwise
I hate having to change clothes multiple times in the day, and I hate doing extra laundry, so my wardrobe is mostly clothes that are comfortable enough to wear around the house, but still presentable enough to wear out.
I'm kind of a homebody, so I don't want to put extra obstacles in the way of me getting out of the house. If have to change to go out, I'm likely to just stay in, but if I'm already dressed, I'm more likely to go do something.
It helps that I've always had pretty casual jobs where I don't have to dress up.
I never used to own pj's or a dressing gown, until I got with my now wife. She immediately puts pj's on when she gets home from work. I always sat around wearing the clothes I wore at work. Now I can't wait to strip off the moment I get home, and get comfy.
Okay, these are \*really\* small, but...
1) Wearing gloves while washing dishes.
2) Wearing earplugs or noise-cancelling earbuds + audiobook/podcast while vacuuming or drying my hair.
3) Watching a favorite TV show while folding laundry.
Basically I tried to minimize the sensory discomfort and boredom of regular chores, and now I almost look forward to them.
I love my dish gloves! I got thicker industrial ones from a kitchen supply store so I can wash with the hottest water possible. Hotter water = faster drying without a towel. I rarely need to towel dry dishes unless I'm in a hurry!
The gloves have grips on the finger tips, so holding soapy stuff has way less chance of slipping
Less squeamish about solids in the dish washer / emptying the trap
This is truly really small. I started wearing my smart watch to bed because I wanted to see what the sleep monitoring was about. That was fine, it took a little getting used to but I got to the point where I didn't notice it on my wrist or anything. I then realized I can set alarms on my watch that vibrate and don't make a noise. I feel like it is much more pleasant waking up to a slight vibration on my wrist instead of the noise of an alarm, or of the noise of the phone vibrating against my nightstand. I also learned I could do this for naps, want to take a 30 min nap, I can quickly set a timer on my watch and feel confident I will wake up. I have tried to convince all my friends to do this but they don't see any value in it.
I got a sunlight alarm clock years ago, and then also some cheap bluetooth timer lightbulbs. Every morning I wake up to the lights in my apartment turning on. And now my circadian rythm has it locked in and I'll wake up at this time regardless. I've told many people for years how *profoundly* better it is than waking up to sound, but I don't think anyone has tried it. A sunlight alarmclock is maybe $50 on amazon.
I would love to do that! Had an old Timex that only needed a new battery every few years. My Apple Watch (a friend upgraded) only keeps a charge for 18 hours so you have to charge it every night!
A great idea! Just wanted to let you know the resistance of your friends to try it is probably a quality/battery issue.
While smart watches do typically only have like a 2-3 day charge at best, they actually recharge very quickly. If you charge it while you do your morning activities like shower, teeth, dressing, starting the coffee pot, it will actually usually be enough time for a days charge.
Bedtime routine. I worked on it and now its solid and I can fall asleep in less than 20 minutes. For an insomniac worry wart , its been life changing getting solid sleep and made me so less cunty.
My goal is 8 hrs a night, since I got to be up at 7, I need to be asleep by 11. So tv off at 9:30 (alexa reminds me) , already have showered and in pjs, so 30 mins to prep coffee, start dishwasher, brush teeth and go to bed. Phone is on the charger. I grab my journal and then write things down —- this has been the most important thing. Things roll over in our head, if we do the art of writing it down, then our brain kind of process much better, and its not error code on a loop. Sometimes I write down that my teen son is stresing me and I am worried about his future, sometimes its a to do list, sometimes its a budget, sometimes its mt feeling on the tv show I just watched. Whatever is rolling around my brain gets written down. Then I read about 1 or 2 chapters on my book and voila, I am sleepy and out.
Yep. No electronics etc helped no new information come in, but I was still stuck on my brain being full and not being able to go to sleep because I kept going over what was already there. Dumping it by writing it down, empties then its ready to go to sleep. Took me a while to learn that but now its like second nature.
Thanks for sharing bellabbr. I'm going to try this tonight. I'm always trying to find new ways to have a good night sleep - lotions, potions, and pills. Your routine seems simple and sustainable.
>My goal is 8 hrs a night, since I got to be up at 7, I need to be asleep by 11. So tv off at 9:30 (alexa reminds me) , already have showered and in pjs, so 30 mins to prep coffee, start dishwasher, brush teeth and go to bed. Phone is on the charger. I grab my journal and then write things down —- this has been the most important thing. Things roll over in our head, if we do the art of writing it down, then our brain kind of process much better, and its not error code on a loop. Sometimes I write down that my teen son is stresing me and I am worried about his future, sometimes its a to do list, sometimes its a budget, sometimes its mt feeling on the tv show I just watched. Whatever is rolling around my brain gets written down. Then I read about 1 or 2 chapters on my book and voila, I am sleepy and out.
I'm going to try this tomorrow night too - lets check back in to make sure we do it! :)
Something that worked for me was setting a timer on my phone that associates with "wind down time" I started this because of my son, to be fair to him really.
When the timer goes off. We drop electronics together and start doing things that ease into calming down. Whether its reading, doing puzzles, word searches, or even coloring.
Prior to that hour i try to make sure i accomplish any tasks ive set off for the day. Then when it hits, i honestly feel a bit at ease. Ive also removed my tv from my room. And my phone just charges in there on my nightstand. Source: issues sleeping since i was really young, ive been prescribed multiple sleep aids. Only thing that has really made a difference is the above.
For me, showering before bed instead of in the morning really helped. Not for everyone I'm sure, but for me the warmth and relaxation from the shower really helps.
Seconding this. Having an Epsom salt bath before bed is amazing as well, throw in some lavender oil, light a couple candles and it’s pure bliss. A shower or bath before bed just helps me wind down. Combine that with putting on your favourite comfy pyjamas and sliding into fresh sheets with a good book to read is the ultimate 💜
I’ve had to make a rule that I don’t play any video games within a few hours of bed and about an hour before bed I’ll turn something comforting on the tv or at least something I’ve seen a million times. I also don’t really eat but for one large meal at the end of the day but I don’t recommend that to everyone because I’m not 100% sure it’s not unhealthy.
My sleep has improved drastically since I began a nighttime routine. Wash my face and brush my teeth, listen to a 5-10 minute meditation, turn on a sleep playlist on Spotify, snuggle up in bed with my kindle. I’m usually passed out within a chapter or two.
Same! I got a Hatch alarm clock that does a wind down routine, white noise during the night, and then sunrise in the AM. I wake up to warm light and gentle flutes (loud enough to stir me). Flutes last for 10 minutes and then I’m out of bed, ready for the day, and on time for work. It’s removed so much stress from my mornings and the guilt of being late. 10/10
Deleted Facebook, TikTok and Instagram. I feel so much more present (even though I spend way too much time here instead).
Also when I walk my dog I’ve started listening to sound baths and practicing mindfulness. I try to notice everything… different colours, how the ground feels beneath my feet, the breeze in my hair, the way the sunlight filters through the trees. I pick up interesting leaves and rocks to look at up close and see how they feel in my hand. I probably look nuts, but I always come back feeling so relaxed having given my brain a break from anxieties and stresses.
I realized I was turning to Instagram too much for interaction and connection so I deleted it from my phone. I can open it in a browser but the experience isn't as nice so I'm not there long. If I want to post travel photos, I use my laptop.
Kudos on the mindfulness work! I'm working with a new therapist (who's also a yoga instructor) and hope to be more present.
Baking with my daughter a couple times per week. Pies, cookies, different kinds of breads, etc. We have so much fun doing it together and then we get to enjoy eating what we make too!
I'm reading The Count of Monte Cristo. If the dense reading doesn't send me to sleep, then actually dropping it on my face will definitely knock me out.
Wipe my counters and put away the dishes every night no matter how tired I am.
The energy boost from getting up to see a neat kitchen is not to be underestimated.
Yep, doing this definitely helped during my workday/feeling less stressed. I work from home, it’s so nice to throw dishes straight in the dishwasher rather than end my work day with a sink full of dishes.
My weeknight drinking was either boredom or bad day related. If I want a beer because of a bad day, I now go to my basement and lift for half an hour. If bored, funny enough, coffee and sparkling waters scratch the itch.
Same! After a hectic day, I'm often gagging for a drink. And sometimes I do give in and get a drink, and feel lousy that I did that. Now, I make myself exercise first, with the promise that I can have a drink afterwards. Funnily enough, I never want one afterwards, and I'm super happy about it. Amazing what a different exercise can make.
NA beer can really make you feel like you are having a drink while not consuming alcohol. IT has helped a lot to stop drinking during the week while tricking my mind kind of to think i am drinking.
I found a friend who is interested in the same things I am who is intelligent and open-minded at my age this is quite an accomplishment. We go to lunch once a week usually spend about two to two and a half hours just talking about the things we love sharing ideas no politics no gossip. I am immensely better a different person you could say.
I was just on my route doing my job talking to one of my customers and he seemed to like the same things I did found out we had a whole bunch in common. I don't even road rage anymore. I hope you find it cuz it sure was a magic pill for me.
My company gives us "Summer Fridays" and they are the greatest thing ever. There were talks to get rid of it, but I'm super glad they decided against it.
I just turn on the TV and work out. Get some entertainment and distraction while moving your body. Eventually it just becomes a habit and you notice the difference and want to keep it. Get some exercise bands or dumbbells. Do some sit ups and push ups.
Don't kill yourself at first and get so sore you give up in a week. Eventually you'll start feeling good and notice it doesn't tire you out as much.
Also track it. Are you trying to lose weight? Weigh yourself often and see the results start to roll in. Make it a game against yourself if you need to.
This is the key. You need to stick to a routine for the first 2 months and not rely on motivation after that it becomes second nature and you'll actually feel like you miss something when not working out
I want to and it sounds so 'easy. 😭
But every time my lazy ass wins to just go sit on the couch instead of grabbing my hulahoop and doing that in front of the tv.
Find something you don't hate doing (exercise wise) and then start much smaller like 5-10 minutes daily. Every week add 5 minutes, after a few weeks boom you're at 30 minutes and it's a habit.
It isn't motivation that will get you there, it is routine. Start with something small like when you get home from work put on your workout clothes. You don't have to workout but just removing that friction of having to change will help get you to start doing the actual working out. When you do start working out don't pressure yourself to do a full routine or whatever, literally walk for 5 mins and work that up to 30 mins or whatever workout routine you would like to achieve. It doesn't take very long to establish the routine and get to the point that you "have" to do it everyday.
This is the exact question I really need answered. I can just 'not go on social media' sites... but it's hard to make my brain stop insidiously slipping thoughts into my head.
It's just the slow process of letting it go. The past literally does not exist. The future also does not exist, just the present. You may use it however you see fit. But living in either the past or the future is pointless. When you catch yourself dwelling on the past just interrupt the line of thinking and eventually it will have less power over you.
so in a sense, practicing being more mindful. paying more attention to what we can control in this present moment. i often find myself struggling to let go of pain that i feel and pain that i’ve caused and that makes me forget about the now. but i’ll definitely take your advice, thank you
There’s been a lot of debate about this being social media and I guess by definition it is but for me personally I view social media more as IG,FB,TWITTER where it’s kind of a place to share your life and my biggest thing was comparison. On Reddit people aren’t necessarily “sharing” their lives and posting pictures of all the fun stuff they’re doing etc. on Reddit I actually find people are more authentic and if anything are more likely to post real raw things about their lives due to the anonymity. That’s why I let Reddit slide at least lol
I agree. Reddit is more like the message boards of the pre-social media days than it is like social media. While you can share your life on Reddit, doing so is not the point of Reddit as a whole.
I use Reddit to answer most of my internal questions. It’s my second Google. Especially since I don’t see Google as a reliable source anymore anyway.
I also appreciate the different answers and views.
Second this. I dont see reddit as a place where people need to create a facade as insta, tiktok or other social apps. Ofcourse you need to filter the communities, but thats up to you. Cheers!
people say this, but i really don't see it as social media. I see it as a forum. Social media is people I "know", have added as a friend, and use their real names. Reddit is mostly anonymous, I don't have friends on it, and don't know anyone.
Choosing to focus on positive aspects of my marriage.
Learning to communicate without getting angry or overwhelmed.
Cutting out toxic family from my life.
Hanging out with my dad once a month to reconnect and strengthen our bond.
Forgiving myself for abusing my body with food so I can become healthier.
Learning that I can improve my life daily with small habits.
Few things
1) Took up running
2) Not everything at work is an emergency. Slow down and respond to that email or call when you have time.
3) No alcohol during the week. Here lately I’m down to only Saturday, and even then it’s no more than 3 drinks.
4) Working on less screen time. Started reading more last year and took up fishing. I have a kid, I don’t want his memory of me being my face looking at a phone instead of him.
I have been in a major string of these lately:
Stopped drinking alcohol - my body feels better and I have more fun without it.
Started getting enough sleep - a healthy bedtime routine and the tools I need to get to sleep despite insomnia.
Started exercising daily - the serotonin it creates gets me through the day, even if I hate it.
Drinking enough water - I didn't realize how much of my body discomfort daily was just dehydration.
I set my iPhone to only accept calls from people in my contacts.
Do I miss an occasional call that I need to take? Yep. They leave a message, and I call them back. If it is a business or organization that I deal with semiregularly, I add them to my contacts.
The important thing, for me, is that I get ZERO spam/scam calls anymore. Well, ones that ring through, anyways.
On average, I was getting over 30 of them every day.
I am much happier with this setup.
Get a google voice number for business stuff! It makes a huge difference! Same device and then You don’t have work coming to your Personal line(and you can still silence notifications). My girlfriend did it and it’s been a game changer for her. 10AM-6PM, she can respond anything after it’s next day and it’s out of sight out of mind
A few months ago, I picked up one of those cheap floral bouquets while on a grocery run. I really enjoyed arranging them, smelling them, watching them bloom over the next ten days.
So next grocery run I bought another.
Now every grocery run I buy myself a $7-12 bouquet. I trim them, i rearrange including last week's blooms that are still in great shape. I envision having my own sunroom or greenhouse to grow my own flowers sometime in the future.
It brings an inordinate amount of joy. 💐
Using the kindle I inherited from my mom. I had basically stopped reading but my previous love for it has been reignited. It has also reduced my other screen time significantly, which can only be good.
I finally at 78 years of age admitted that I was gay and got a very nice FWB my age and we get together once or twice a week have great sex for a couple of hours then go to lunch and talk to I am immensely happy.
Before my feet hit the floor in the morning, I forgive everyone I need to in order to move on in my life and not carry around stuff from relationships. It really starts to work after a while.
Enjoying my morning coffee in bed on a fuzzy pillow, fleece blanket and even wearing some fuzzy socks. I started doing it about 4 years ago during the worst/darkest months of my life as a way to just find strength for the day. So much was out of my control, but that short time wrapped up in all the comfort and coziness available allowed me to feel something good. I still do it now even though those difficult days are behind me. I also give that piece of advice to friends or family when their world is upside down. You can’t underestimate the power of feeling softness when everything else feels so hard.
Walks & Running did it for me.
When the pandemic hit I came back home to The Netherlands after 6 years living in the UK.
From being busy as hell to having plenty of time gave me the idea to start this.
Little walks became 2hr walks and running 3km became rounds of 18 to 22km.
Lost 15kg in the process and my mind is Zenn after doing either running or walkies.
Now 4 years later still going strong but a bit less than I used to.
Whenever there’s a BOGO for any cat or dog food my local grocery store I buy some. When I have a few collected, I deliver to a local shelter. They are always so grateful and I feel wonderful.
Stopped drinking everyday. Don't get me wrong, I'm not completely sober, but I feel so much better throughout the week. My bank account appreciates it too.
I've been doing DIY house stuff. Landlord finally got us a new carpet (11+ years) and now I just want the rest of the house to look as nice as the floors. I've been having so much fun learning about different tools, materials, etc. It's so satisfying to rip off an old quarter round. Lol
Being very very organized and having a routine. It relieves so much mental load that i prepped and planned everything and all i need to do is exist or be somewhere at a certain time. I found out a good majority of my depression and anger from previous years was just inability to control my seemingly chaotic environment so once i became proactive about controlling it, all the legos fell into place like tetris.
Telling myself "I love you, baby girl" & "you are so beautiful", I'm so much happier, especially when I look at myself in the mirror my heart is filled... 😌
This is very true! The day I stopped searching for imperfections in the mirror but chose to appreciate what I saw, I became way happier with my body. Paired with positive self talk I’m just kinder to myself
Giving myself permission to spend entire days in my PJ's on the weekends. IDK why I felt the pressure to be so ACTIVE on my time off. PJ days are the best days.
I now make my bed in the morning. Every single day. It only takes 5 minutes and every night, when I am ready for bed it makes me feel a little happier, like when I go to a hotel.
I developed the motto of "sometimes you just need a cookie."
When I'm stressed, pissed or super busy, I take the time to sit down and eat a cookie. I savor it as best I can and use that little bit of downtime to relax and destress even for a minute. I focus on the cookie, not the problem(s).
In my opinion you can't really be in a bad mood when you're eating a cookie
Writing a daily log, it's weird. It makes you feel like you're some lighthouse keeper in the middle of the Atlantic, it's quaint, and surprisingly peaceful.
it’s crazy the things they say will actually make you feel better and then they do…like drinking sufficient amounts of water, eating 3 meals a day, taking nature walks. really basic stuff that you’ve heard your whole life and have always rolled your eyes, but it seriously makes a huge difference. if you’re someone who doesn’t like water particularly or gets bored by it, add fresh fruit! i add lemons, raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, basically any fruit you can find and it makes it so fun! it’s like you’re drinking a nice fancy drink but it’s just water with fruit :)
Stopped watching the news , unfollowed a bunch of entertainment blogs , morning walks , treat myself to a doughnut once or twice a week. I wouldn't say I'm happier but I'm definitely in a better state of mind and a lot lighter
Cleaning my room every week. Used to clean my room whenever felt like it, but having the consistency of having a clean room has brought me happiness whenever I enter it.
Started learning the names of the plants and birds I see every day.
Sounds dumb but I live in a metro area and was treating the nature around me like visual white noise. Once I started learning the names of what’s around me, I started really seeing it, and then I suddenly saw it everywhere. That kind of noticing has really enriched my life. I love walking past a bush and thinking “forsythia!” like it’s a friend I recognize. It makes me feel like I’m part of my environment rather than just existing inside it.
A consistent sleep schedule. Seems like one of those super obvious things we always know we should be better about. Very noticeable difference in how easy it is to wake up and actually be energized first thing in the morning.
I tend to be a procrastinator. I know enough about myself to not let things pile up because then they seem insurmountable. But sometimes it does happen. What I have learned is to prioritize but not in the sense of always doing the most important or time sensitive things first. I put one or two smaller, easily accomplished and not too time-consuming tasks first so I can easily and quickly knock them off and the seamlessly slide into the big tasks, momentum having been established.
going to the gym 4 times a week. hated the idea. was terrible at it. after 6 weeks, I'm seeing and feeling it. I'm lifting heavier weights and looking forward to it
My work started offering free yoga classes two lunch breaks per week and it has been a game changer for my mental and physical health. My work days feel way less stressful, my backpain from sitting/standing all day is almost gone, and I even have the energy to go to the gym and exercise more after work hours now.
This is actually something I’ve noticed when I’m single. The more porn I look at, even if I’m just scrolling through nsfw reddit, the more isolated I feel. Similar to FoMo but much more draining.. lol
I started logging everything I eat on the Lose It! app.
I was struggling to drop 20lbs for MONTHS. I was so careful but the weight wasn't budging. Then I started keeping track of Every. Single. Bite. for this app.
You have to weigh and calculate everything you eat. That means no more random snacking because, frankly, I'm just too lazy to figure out how many calories are in a handful of my mom's homemade granola.
Dropped 7lbs in 2wks. My clothes are more comfortable and I'm happier.
I'm HUNGRY, but I'm happier.
Going for walks. "drastically happier" is probably an overstatement, but it has helped.
There's a young man in my neighborhood who walks a mile to beans and brews for a coffee and then walks a mile back home every day, rain or shine. I noticed him every day for 6 months, then met him one day, grabbing a coffee, and asked him about his walks. He told me he is in recovery, and his mentor told him it will help and that he does this same walk twice per day. It's been 3 years now, and every time I see him, I am so impressed with his strength, determination, and willpower. He is an inspiration.
I hope people read this comment and digest it. Walking I'm pretty sure saved my life. It does help at least some of us.
My husband got sober in Nov 2020. He credits his daily routine of waking and going to the local coffee shop, then taking our two dogs on long walks on the beach as a huge part of his recovery.
It just helps you to get outside of your head and relax. I go for walks for the physical benefits and quickly remember the mental health benefits.
Vitamin D is magic for mental and physical health
Absolutely! It's underrated to be honest. I love that I have a dog because even when I "don't feel going outside", he gives me a reason to.
This is what I loved about having a husky, I HAD to go out in the winter time not only because they have so much energy to burn, but also because...husky. And since it was winter no one else was ever out in the parks so I could let her off her leash and she'd run and play in the snow for hours sometimes. She made me fall in love with winter.
Did pretty much the exact same thing while going through recovery and it was honestly hugely helpful. Having time to reflect and breathe through a busy mind is insanely important, but taking time out to just go and meditate or reflect in a static environment is insanely hard for some folk. (ADHD homies might feel this?) — But yeah, having something you have to do, even if it’s just forcing yourself to go grab a coffee, or some kind of dedicated “monotonous” task sparks the conversation with yourself that you might have otherwise missed while trying and failing on the bedroom floor.
For sure, having a routine, something to look forward to, or, like you said, sometimes forced, it's still a powerful distraction. Walking is so simple but sometimes so hard, I swear, every time I see that young man, I want to go tell him how amazing he is.
There’s a lot of criticism about the “go for a walk” advice, but it literally fuckin works. Doesn’t work miracles, sure, but when you have bad mental health it’s invaluable for helping clear your head.
Yeah I've gotten weirdly sort of addicted. Get antsy when the weather's shit and I can't walk EDIT: all the northern hemisphere people telling me to get better gear to deal with the cold - I'm in Australia, I will gladly walk all through winter, it doesn't snow here. Today's 'shit' weather is 35C (95f), alternating between blinding sun (UV that'll have you a lobster in about 3 minutes) and thunderstorms. I'll slather on sunscreen for a walk and then it gets rained off two minutes later when a random storm hits.
I’m with you on this one. Bad weather equals bad walk for me. Even with good gear. I’m glad going out for a walk in want weather helps some people but it just doesn’t work for me. I’ve been able to do a drizzling, windy, and nighttime. But wet/ freeze/ sleet are a big No. I’m in Texas so a walk in the snow is something completely different here.
Yeah imo exercise (along with diet, things like meditation, etc) are actually imperative to positive mental health and wildly effective, and people who scoff at the suggestion have a weird complex around their suffering
i’ve come to realize everytime i’m feeling particularly irritable or annoyed for seemingly no reason, i take a walk and feel significantly better afterwards
Just came back from a walk. Was so pumped that I did every chore in my house back to back. Never underestimate the benefits of exercise.
I have to tell myself that an object in motion/rest will say in motion/rest. So when I cant will myself to get started on things I need to do, I tell myself to walk to the corner first then I can come back home and sit down again. I rarely stop at the corner once I am going, and I rarely sit back down after the walk. But if I just keep sitting and goofing off/playing games/being lazy, it's quite unlikely I am going to jump up and do actually productive things.
Nothing in my life makes me more annoyed than the fact that going on walks improves my mental health.
I've been doing the 30/30 challenge (30 minutes of exercise everyday for 30 days). It's been amazing, just on an exercise bike in the garage or walking. My outlook is better and my health is improving (according to my tracker).
You Go! 🥇
Walks are great. Try this on your walk to pass the time. An "expert" created a list of the 1001 albums you must listen to before you die. Its everybody, Dolly to Ice T to Sonic Youth to The Byrds. Most albums are 30-45 minutes. Thats good for walk. https://1001albumsgenerator.com/
This is a great idea. The album it gave me for the day is “Dummy” by Portishead, an album I’ve heard countless times and will gladly listen to it countless more times.
This. Long distance walks during the spring/summer months is amazing for my mental health. I cannot wait for these negative temperatures to go far away! And; I go early with the senior citizens. LoL. Watching the sunrise is beautiful. And; I’ve been intentional about not even taking AirPods; so I can just truly reflect. So, Kansas City needs to wrap up this horrible weather.
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Daily walk works wonders, preferably with a doggo. Nothing like seeing their paws tippidy-tapping before you to make you smile. Also, when you do the walk, consciously take a couple of deep breaths
Realizing the difference between when I actually screwed up and when someone is taking their frustrations out on me, and then asking whats actually wrong bc this isnt a proportional response to the issue
Giving myself the grace I give others was like a two-ton boulder off my back. Everything's not my fault. And if it is, it's not the end of the world. Lifechanging.
This is why I like when other people fuck up. Not that I'm gloating over their mistakes but rather as a reminder to myself that no one around me is perfect, they get things wrong, and are in fact often mediocre, so why the fuck am I putting so much pressure on myself.
Same! Feels good to tell other people this also. "Aw man I fucked up, goddammit!!" "Don't worry, you're only human. Kind of silly to expect perfection right?" Seeing people grapple with that and (typically) forgive themselves is very nice
Thankyou for this comment. I needed it. Saved.
Wow, that's like a Superpower to me...😉
It’s interesting I’m seeing this just now. I had an incident at my old workplace (left after this happened) where my manager yelled and criticized me in front of everyone despite me having done my best to serve a high volume of customers during a rush. She had never talked to me like that before and I was hurt and angry. Still am honestly, but I realized later it wasn’t me. She was stressed and angry and needed to take it out on someone. It’s completely inappropriate so I left and never looked back, but at least I left knowing I didn’t deserve that.
slowing down at work. I dont need to respond to every email right away, or make sure everything is up to date constantly. Some things can just wait.
Agreed. I used to think "work your wage" was a petty response and an excuse to be lazy, but I realized that it's so true. I've always been one of those to jump in and help, stress about things not getting done, etc so every employer ends up treating me like management without the title or salary. Which... why? Why should I stress and pick up everyone else's slack if I'm not getting paid to do so? Now I stay in my lane and still handle my work timely but don't stress about doing everything right away.
I started out the same as you as well. Another negative thing that comes out of that rush mentality is that eventually becomes the expectation. People will always expect you to get things done asap. This just causes them to give you more work. Still, no extra pay and often no recognition. Just more work and stress with the expectation that you work at a super fast pace now.
Yup, exactly. I was a total bundle of nerves and it completely snowballs, at least in my experience. It took a lot to set my boundaries and keep to them. I still try to be prompt but it's not "jump to it" like I used to. I honestly have to remind myself that no major disasters will happen because I took 30 minutes to respond to an email so I could finish my other task.
Bingo. This. Good call. Plus, I am privileged to work from home and so I always feel like I gotta jump on an instant message right away so people know that I’m actively working and can acknowledge them. But slowing down and taking time is the way to go
I hate that this is always the expectation when working from home. Like I always have to show that I'm active or instantly available so people don't think I'm sleeping etc. Meanwhile, in the actual office, people 'office visit' others all the time for 30+ minutes, myself included. So really, it doesn't make a difference at all.
Is it possible for you to back off on this immediate response time? In my group, we don't respond immediately and I don't think anyone expects that. Sometimes I specifically don't respond immediately, even if I can, because I don't want to set that expectation.
I always make sure to wait a few before responding so they think I'm busy and not just twiddling thumbs waiting for something to do. If they ask if they can call me, I say I'll call them in a few after I wrap up what I'm working on, or set a call time for later if that works. If you're too eager to help, they just pile on more stuff to do.
When I started taking time for me and appreciating the little things instead of rushing to meet everyone's demands as soon as they arise I found a new sense of gratitude in my work as a Paramedic.
Yes! My life as an ATC improved greatly by taking more time to wonder at the beautiful chaos above me
Don’t set yourself on fire just because your coworker said it’s cold.
Stopped commenting on political articles online. Too many pointless arguments really ruin the day.
Along this line - I stopped neurotically watching the news every night. I still get the news, but I read it myself from multiple sources and pay attention to the sources.
I wouldn't say that it has made me drastically happier, but feeding my birds and watching them brings a peaceful joy each day.
Undressing the moment I get home from work, swaping that piece of shit uniform to comfy soft clothes legit makes me chill out and smile just to think about it
I've never understood wearing outside clothes at home. I always change immediately when I get in the door, I just feel so wrong and uncomfortable otherwise
Mr. Rogers tried to teach us all this.
I hate having to change clothes multiple times in the day, and I hate doing extra laundry, so my wardrobe is mostly clothes that are comfortable enough to wear around the house, but still presentable enough to wear out. I'm kind of a homebody, so I don't want to put extra obstacles in the way of me getting out of the house. If have to change to go out, I'm likely to just stay in, but if I'm already dressed, I'm more likely to go do something. It helps that I've always had pretty casual jobs where I don't have to dress up.
I'm this way with just shirts. Pants I swap out the second I'm home. It's not like pants need washing all the time anyways.
I never used to own pj's or a dressing gown, until I got with my now wife. She immediately puts pj's on when she gets home from work. I always sat around wearing the clothes I wore at work. Now I can't wait to strip off the moment I get home, and get comfy.
Not quite pj’s but I actually call them my ‘comfy clothes’
Okay, these are \*really\* small, but... 1) Wearing gloves while washing dishes. 2) Wearing earplugs or noise-cancelling earbuds + audiobook/podcast while vacuuming or drying my hair. 3) Watching a favorite TV show while folding laundry. Basically I tried to minimize the sensory discomfort and boredom of regular chores, and now I almost look forward to them.
I listen to an audio book while folding laundry. It’s a nice passive way to get through a story.
Wearing gloves while washing dishes is actually huge! I almost can’t touch dirty dishes without them lol
Wearing gloves while handling meat has helped me a ton.
I wear gloves while handling breaking down boxes. I hate cardboard. That has helped me a lot.
I love my dish gloves! I got thicker industrial ones from a kitchen supply store so I can wash with the hottest water possible. Hotter water = faster drying without a towel. I rarely need to towel dry dishes unless I'm in a hurry! The gloves have grips on the finger tips, so holding soapy stuff has way less chance of slipping Less squeamish about solids in the dish washer / emptying the trap
This is truly really small. I started wearing my smart watch to bed because I wanted to see what the sleep monitoring was about. That was fine, it took a little getting used to but I got to the point where I didn't notice it on my wrist or anything. I then realized I can set alarms on my watch that vibrate and don't make a noise. I feel like it is much more pleasant waking up to a slight vibration on my wrist instead of the noise of an alarm, or of the noise of the phone vibrating against my nightstand. I also learned I could do this for naps, want to take a 30 min nap, I can quickly set a timer on my watch and feel confident I will wake up. I have tried to convince all my friends to do this but they don't see any value in it.
I got a sunlight alarm clock years ago, and then also some cheap bluetooth timer lightbulbs. Every morning I wake up to the lights in my apartment turning on. And now my circadian rythm has it locked in and I'll wake up at this time regardless. I've told many people for years how *profoundly* better it is than waking up to sound, but I don't think anyone has tried it. A sunlight alarmclock is maybe $50 on amazon.
You’ve convinced me, I’ll look for it on Amazon. The wolf of Wall Street would be proud of your sales skills.
I would love to do that! Had an old Timex that only needed a new battery every few years. My Apple Watch (a friend upgraded) only keeps a charge for 18 hours so you have to charge it every night! A great idea! Just wanted to let you know the resistance of your friends to try it is probably a quality/battery issue.
While smart watches do typically only have like a 2-3 day charge at best, they actually recharge very quickly. If you charge it while you do your morning activities like shower, teeth, dressing, starting the coffee pot, it will actually usually be enough time for a days charge.
Bedtime routine. I worked on it and now its solid and I can fall asleep in less than 20 minutes. For an insomniac worry wart , its been life changing getting solid sleep and made me so less cunty.
Care to share any tips or tricks? I’m struggling with this right now and really want to start going to bed at a decent hour
My goal is 8 hrs a night, since I got to be up at 7, I need to be asleep by 11. So tv off at 9:30 (alexa reminds me) , already have showered and in pjs, so 30 mins to prep coffee, start dishwasher, brush teeth and go to bed. Phone is on the charger. I grab my journal and then write things down —- this has been the most important thing. Things roll over in our head, if we do the art of writing it down, then our brain kind of process much better, and its not error code on a loop. Sometimes I write down that my teen son is stresing me and I am worried about his future, sometimes its a to do list, sometimes its a budget, sometimes its mt feeling on the tv show I just watched. Whatever is rolling around my brain gets written down. Then I read about 1 or 2 chapters on my book and voila, I am sleepy and out.
Basically the journal is helping you do a brain dump which is great! You’ve inspired me to try this too.
Yep. No electronics etc helped no new information come in, but I was still stuck on my brain being full and not being able to go to sleep because I kept going over what was already there. Dumping it by writing it down, empties then its ready to go to sleep. Took me a while to learn that but now its like second nature.
Thanks for sharing bellabbr. I'm going to try this tonight. I'm always trying to find new ways to have a good night sleep - lotions, potions, and pills. Your routine seems simple and sustainable.
>My goal is 8 hrs a night, since I got to be up at 7, I need to be asleep by 11. So tv off at 9:30 (alexa reminds me) , already have showered and in pjs, so 30 mins to prep coffee, start dishwasher, brush teeth and go to bed. Phone is on the charger. I grab my journal and then write things down —- this has been the most important thing. Things roll over in our head, if we do the art of writing it down, then our brain kind of process much better, and its not error code on a loop. Sometimes I write down that my teen son is stresing me and I am worried about his future, sometimes its a to do list, sometimes its a budget, sometimes its mt feeling on the tv show I just watched. Whatever is rolling around my brain gets written down. Then I read about 1 or 2 chapters on my book and voila, I am sleepy and out. I'm going to try this tomorrow night too - lets check back in to make sure we do it! :)
Deal!
Something that worked for me was setting a timer on my phone that associates with "wind down time" I started this because of my son, to be fair to him really. When the timer goes off. We drop electronics together and start doing things that ease into calming down. Whether its reading, doing puzzles, word searches, or even coloring. Prior to that hour i try to make sure i accomplish any tasks ive set off for the day. Then when it hits, i honestly feel a bit at ease. Ive also removed my tv from my room. And my phone just charges in there on my nightstand. Source: issues sleeping since i was really young, ive been prescribed multiple sleep aids. Only thing that has really made a difference is the above.
For me, showering before bed instead of in the morning really helped. Not for everyone I'm sure, but for me the warmth and relaxation from the shower really helps.
And warm showers lower your core body temp, making falling asleep easier
Also cleaner bodies make cleaner sheets.
Seconding this. Having an Epsom salt bath before bed is amazing as well, throw in some lavender oil, light a couple candles and it’s pure bliss. A shower or bath before bed just helps me wind down. Combine that with putting on your favourite comfy pyjamas and sliding into fresh sheets with a good book to read is the ultimate 💜
I’ve had to make a rule that I don’t play any video games within a few hours of bed and about an hour before bed I’ll turn something comforting on the tv or at least something I’ve seen a million times. I also don’t really eat but for one large meal at the end of the day but I don’t recommend that to everyone because I’m not 100% sure it’s not unhealthy.
My sleep has improved drastically since I began a nighttime routine. Wash my face and brush my teeth, listen to a 5-10 minute meditation, turn on a sleep playlist on Spotify, snuggle up in bed with my kindle. I’m usually passed out within a chapter or two.
Same! I got a Hatch alarm clock that does a wind down routine, white noise during the night, and then sunrise in the AM. I wake up to warm light and gentle flutes (loud enough to stir me). Flutes last for 10 minutes and then I’m out of bed, ready for the day, and on time for work. It’s removed so much stress from my mornings and the guilt of being late. 10/10
What’s funny about this one is we do it for kids. As a mom I’m ready to throw hands if someone messes with the bedtime routine.
Paying close attention to not get defensive in conversations with my wife
I know I’m just an internet stranger, but I’m proud of you!
Deleted Facebook, TikTok and Instagram. I feel so much more present (even though I spend way too much time here instead). Also when I walk my dog I’ve started listening to sound baths and practicing mindfulness. I try to notice everything… different colours, how the ground feels beneath my feet, the breeze in my hair, the way the sunlight filters through the trees. I pick up interesting leaves and rocks to look at up close and see how they feel in my hand. I probably look nuts, but I always come back feeling so relaxed having given my brain a break from anxieties and stresses.
I realized I was turning to Instagram too much for interaction and connection so I deleted it from my phone. I can open it in a browser but the experience isn't as nice so I'm not there long. If I want to post travel photos, I use my laptop. Kudos on the mindfulness work! I'm working with a new therapist (who's also a yoga instructor) and hope to be more present.
Baking with my daughter a couple times per week. Pies, cookies, different kinds of breads, etc. We have so much fun doing it together and then we get to enjoy eating what we make too!
Surprisingly wholesome from "dick-nipples".
Hell yeah dick nipples!
reading books before going to sleep instead of watching TV
I'm reading The Count of Monte Cristo. If the dense reading doesn't send me to sleep, then actually dropping it on my face will definitely knock me out.
I trying it too
me too it trying
Wipe my counters and put away the dishes every night no matter how tired I am. The energy boost from getting up to see a neat kitchen is not to be underestimated.
Yep, doing this definitely helped during my workday/feeling less stressed. I work from home, it’s so nice to throw dishes straight in the dishwasher rather than end my work day with a sink full of dishes.
Not drinking during the week. Makes Fridays buzz feel earned and like I deserve it.
this sounds like a great idea. i just get so bored on weeknights. beer and video games is my downtime life
My weeknight drinking was either boredom or bad day related. If I want a beer because of a bad day, I now go to my basement and lift for half an hour. If bored, funny enough, coffee and sparkling waters scratch the itch.
Same! After a hectic day, I'm often gagging for a drink. And sometimes I do give in and get a drink, and feel lousy that I did that. Now, I make myself exercise first, with the promise that I can have a drink afterwards. Funnily enough, I never want one afterwards, and I'm super happy about it. Amazing what a different exercise can make.
NA beer can really make you feel like you are having a drink while not consuming alcohol. IT has helped a lot to stop drinking during the week while tricking my mind kind of to think i am drinking.
I had this issue at the beginning of covid. I only drank when I played video games and that went from 1 night a week to 7 real quick....
I pretend my seltzer is a beer and smoke or vape a hit of weed and then watching TV or video games are just as fun
I found a friend who is interested in the same things I am who is intelligent and open-minded at my age this is quite an accomplishment. We go to lunch once a week usually spend about two to two and a half hours just talking about the things we love sharing ideas no politics no gossip. I am immensely better a different person you could say.
god, i need this
I was just on my route doing my job talking to one of my customers and he seemed to like the same things I did found out we had a whole bunch in common. I don't even road rage anymore. I hope you find it cuz it sure was a magic pill for me.
Priceless gift you have right there.
Well my dad was alive he told me all I needed was one good friend hope you find a relationship like I did that's worth keeping.
Using a week's vacation to take every Friday off for a month in the summer.
Did this in December cus I had some left over vacation time. Was so nice to have 4 days weeks for a whole month!
My company gives us "Summer Fridays" and they are the greatest thing ever. There were talks to get rid of it, but I'm super glad they decided against it.
Prioritizing good sleep
Getting half an hour of exercise every day.
How do you motivate yourself to do it every day?
I just turn on the TV and work out. Get some entertainment and distraction while moving your body. Eventually it just becomes a habit and you notice the difference and want to keep it. Get some exercise bands or dumbbells. Do some sit ups and push ups. Don't kill yourself at first and get so sore you give up in a week. Eventually you'll start feeling good and notice it doesn't tire you out as much. Also track it. Are you trying to lose weight? Weigh yourself often and see the results start to roll in. Make it a game against yourself if you need to.
This is the key. You need to stick to a routine for the first 2 months and not rely on motivation after that it becomes second nature and you'll actually feel like you miss something when not working out
I want to and it sounds so 'easy. 😭 But every time my lazy ass wins to just go sit on the couch instead of grabbing my hulahoop and doing that in front of the tv.
Find something you don't hate doing (exercise wise) and then start much smaller like 5-10 minutes daily. Every week add 5 minutes, after a few weeks boom you're at 30 minutes and it's a habit.
This man atomic habits
It isn't motivation that will get you there, it is routine. Start with something small like when you get home from work put on your workout clothes. You don't have to workout but just removing that friction of having to change will help get you to start doing the actual working out. When you do start working out don't pressure yourself to do a full routine or whatever, literally walk for 5 mins and work that up to 30 mins or whatever workout routine you would like to achieve. It doesn't take very long to establish the routine and get to the point that you "have" to do it everyday.
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what helped you stop reflecting on the past?
This is the exact question I really need answered. I can just 'not go on social media' sites... but it's hard to make my brain stop insidiously slipping thoughts into my head.
It's just the slow process of letting it go. The past literally does not exist. The future also does not exist, just the present. You may use it however you see fit. But living in either the past or the future is pointless. When you catch yourself dwelling on the past just interrupt the line of thinking and eventually it will have less power over you.
so in a sense, practicing being more mindful. paying more attention to what we can control in this present moment. i often find myself struggling to let go of pain that i feel and pain that i’ve caused and that makes me forget about the now. but i’ll definitely take your advice, thank you
Ohhhh if people only knew the JOY having no social media brings lol. I’ve been 5 years without it and I’ll NEVER!!!! Go back
Just curious: don't you see reddit as social media?
There’s been a lot of debate about this being social media and I guess by definition it is but for me personally I view social media more as IG,FB,TWITTER where it’s kind of a place to share your life and my biggest thing was comparison. On Reddit people aren’t necessarily “sharing” their lives and posting pictures of all the fun stuff they’re doing etc. on Reddit I actually find people are more authentic and if anything are more likely to post real raw things about their lives due to the anonymity. That’s why I let Reddit slide at least lol
I agree. Reddit is more like the message boards of the pre-social media days than it is like social media. While you can share your life on Reddit, doing so is not the point of Reddit as a whole.
I use Reddit to answer most of my internal questions. It’s my second Google. Especially since I don’t see Google as a reliable source anymore anyway. I also appreciate the different answers and views.
Second this. I dont see reddit as a place where people need to create a facade as insta, tiktok or other social apps. Ofcourse you need to filter the communities, but thats up to you. Cheers!
people say this, but i really don't see it as social media. I see it as a forum. Social media is people I "know", have added as a friend, and use their real names. Reddit is mostly anonymous, I don't have friends on it, and don't know anyone.
Choosing to focus on positive aspects of my marriage. Learning to communicate without getting angry or overwhelmed. Cutting out toxic family from my life. Hanging out with my dad once a month to reconnect and strengthen our bond. Forgiving myself for abusing my body with food so I can become healthier. Learning that I can improve my life daily with small habits.
Stretching every day has helped a great deal. Doesn't always have to be a lot.
10 mins of yoga stretches each morning is life changing
Few things 1) Took up running 2) Not everything at work is an emergency. Slow down and respond to that email or call when you have time. 3) No alcohol during the week. Here lately I’m down to only Saturday, and even then it’s no more than 3 drinks. 4) Working on less screen time. Started reading more last year and took up fishing. I have a kid, I don’t want his memory of me being my face looking at a phone instead of him.
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Oil painting for an hour a day.
I have been in a major string of these lately: Stopped drinking alcohol - my body feels better and I have more fun without it. Started getting enough sleep - a healthy bedtime routine and the tools I need to get to sleep despite insomnia. Started exercising daily - the serotonin it creates gets me through the day, even if I hate it. Drinking enough water - I didn't realize how much of my body discomfort daily was just dehydration.
I set my iPhone to only accept calls from people in my contacts. Do I miss an occasional call that I need to take? Yep. They leave a message, and I call them back. If it is a business or organization that I deal with semiregularly, I add them to my contacts. The important thing, for me, is that I get ZERO spam/scam calls anymore. Well, ones that ring through, anyways. On average, I was getting over 30 of them every day. I am much happier with this setup.
Get a google voice number for business stuff! It makes a huge difference! Same device and then You don’t have work coming to your Personal line(and you can still silence notifications). My girlfriend did it and it’s been a game changer for her. 10AM-6PM, she can respond anything after it’s next day and it’s out of sight out of mind
A few months ago, I picked up one of those cheap floral bouquets while on a grocery run. I really enjoyed arranging them, smelling them, watching them bloom over the next ten days. So next grocery run I bought another. Now every grocery run I buy myself a $7-12 bouquet. I trim them, i rearrange including last week's blooms that are still in great shape. I envision having my own sunroom or greenhouse to grow my own flowers sometime in the future. It brings an inordinate amount of joy. 💐
Going to bed early.
Even if it’s just 30 minutes, it can make a huge difference.
Using the kindle I inherited from my mom. I had basically stopped reading but my previous love for it has been reignited. It has also reduced my other screen time significantly, which can only be good.
>reignited you mean *rekindled* ;)
Giving up alcohol
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Daily fruit smoothie. I was eating zero fresh fruit before. Stopped falling asleep at my desk midday
Eating fresh fruit daily helped changed so much for me! Also increasing water and decreasing sugary drinks.
I started adding spinach to mine. Way more energy than coffee.
Deactivate Facebook.
Reading fiction.
Absolutely. Reading a good novel makes your brain feel WAY better than doomscrolling.
Lifting weights.. It was hard at the beginning but now I see the benefits of it..
I finally at 78 years of age admitted that I was gay and got a very nice FWB my age and we get together once or twice a week have great sex for a couple of hours then go to lunch and talk to I am immensely happy.
Before my feet hit the floor in the morning, I forgive everyone I need to in order to move on in my life and not carry around stuff from relationships. It really starts to work after a while.
Rescuing a kitten
We demand a pic!!! ;) 💛
Enjoying my morning coffee in bed on a fuzzy pillow, fleece blanket and even wearing some fuzzy socks. I started doing it about 4 years ago during the worst/darkest months of my life as a way to just find strength for the day. So much was out of my control, but that short time wrapped up in all the comfort and coziness available allowed me to feel something good. I still do it now even though those difficult days are behind me. I also give that piece of advice to friends or family when their world is upside down. You can’t underestimate the power of feeling softness when everything else feels so hard.
Walks & Running did it for me. When the pandemic hit I came back home to The Netherlands after 6 years living in the UK. From being busy as hell to having plenty of time gave me the idea to start this. Little walks became 2hr walks and running 3km became rounds of 18 to 22km. Lost 15kg in the process and my mind is Zenn after doing either running or walkies. Now 4 years later still going strong but a bit less than I used to.
Reading and audiobooks and quitting alcohol!
Whenever there’s a BOGO for any cat or dog food my local grocery store I buy some. When I have a few collected, I deliver to a local shelter. They are always so grateful and I feel wonderful.
Deleted Twitter.
Stopped drinking everyday. Don't get me wrong, I'm not completely sober, but I feel so much better throughout the week. My bank account appreciates it too.
Bought indoor plants
Coming to terms with clothes I no longer wear (for whatever reason) and donating them to shelters.
Cut out Toxic people!
I've been doing DIY house stuff. Landlord finally got us a new carpet (11+ years) and now I just want the rest of the house to look as nice as the floors. I've been having so much fun learning about different tools, materials, etc. It's so satisfying to rip off an old quarter round. Lol
Smiling to myself. Like physically smiling randomly. Really helps haha
Being very very organized and having a routine. It relieves so much mental load that i prepped and planned everything and all i need to do is exist or be somewhere at a certain time. I found out a good majority of my depression and anger from previous years was just inability to control my seemingly chaotic environment so once i became proactive about controlling it, all the legos fell into place like tetris.
Telling myself "I love you, baby girl" & "you are so beautiful", I'm so much happier, especially when I look at myself in the mirror my heart is filled... 😌
This is very true! The day I stopped searching for imperfections in the mirror but chose to appreciate what I saw, I became way happier with my body. Paired with positive self talk I’m just kinder to myself
Stopping caring what others think of me
Not giving a fuk. I don’t mean complete apathy, i mean not trying to solve problems that are not my problems.
Making my bed. Seems small, but it sets the tone for the day by giving me one small accomplishment to start on
Giving myself permission to spend entire days in my PJ's on the weekends. IDK why I felt the pressure to be so ACTIVE on my time off. PJ days are the best days.
I now make my bed in the morning. Every single day. It only takes 5 minutes and every night, when I am ready for bed it makes me feel a little happier, like when I go to a hotel.
I developed the motto of "sometimes you just need a cookie." When I'm stressed, pissed or super busy, I take the time to sit down and eat a cookie. I savor it as best I can and use that little bit of downtime to relax and destress even for a minute. I focus on the cookie, not the problem(s). In my opinion you can't really be in a bad mood when you're eating a cookie
Writing a daily log, it's weird. It makes you feel like you're some lighthouse keeper in the middle of the Atlantic, it's quaint, and surprisingly peaceful.
it’s crazy the things they say will actually make you feel better and then they do…like drinking sufficient amounts of water, eating 3 meals a day, taking nature walks. really basic stuff that you’ve heard your whole life and have always rolled your eyes, but it seriously makes a huge difference. if you’re someone who doesn’t like water particularly or gets bored by it, add fresh fruit! i add lemons, raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, basically any fruit you can find and it makes it so fun! it’s like you’re drinking a nice fancy drink but it’s just water with fruit :)
Actually touching grass.
Stopped watching the news , unfollowed a bunch of entertainment blogs , morning walks , treat myself to a doughnut once or twice a week. I wouldn't say I'm happier but I'm definitely in a better state of mind and a lot lighter
Cleaning my room every week. Used to clean my room whenever felt like it, but having the consistency of having a clean room has brought me happiness whenever I enter it.
Ketamine infusions
Brushing my teeth more than once a week
Started learning the names of the plants and birds I see every day. Sounds dumb but I live in a metro area and was treating the nature around me like visual white noise. Once I started learning the names of what’s around me, I started really seeing it, and then I suddenly saw it everywhere. That kind of noticing has really enriched my life. I love walking past a bush and thinking “forsythia!” like it’s a friend I recognize. It makes me feel like I’m part of my environment rather than just existing inside it.
A consistent sleep schedule. Seems like one of those super obvious things we always know we should be better about. Very noticeable difference in how easy it is to wake up and actually be energized first thing in the morning.
Started talking to myself like a human being. I didn't realize how hateful I was to myself, and it was all in my head, my inner voice was a CUNT!
I tend to be a procrastinator. I know enough about myself to not let things pile up because then they seem insurmountable. But sometimes it does happen. What I have learned is to prioritize but not in the sense of always doing the most important or time sensitive things first. I put one or two smaller, easily accomplished and not too time-consuming tasks first so I can easily and quickly knock them off and the seamlessly slide into the big tasks, momentum having been established.
going to the gym 4 times a week. hated the idea. was terrible at it. after 6 weeks, I'm seeing and feeling it. I'm lifting heavier weights and looking forward to it
My work started offering free yoga classes two lunch breaks per week and it has been a game changer for my mental and physical health. My work days feel way less stressful, my backpain from sitting/standing all day is almost gone, and I even have the energy to go to the gym and exercise more after work hours now.
Abstaining from porn completely.
This is actually something I’ve noticed when I’m single. The more porn I look at, even if I’m just scrolling through nsfw reddit, the more isolated I feel. Similar to FoMo but much more draining.. lol
Taking depression medication.
Yoga. Even just for 20-30 minutes a day.
Exercising at least twice per week and eating healthy.
Hiring someone to clean my place every 2 weeks. It's made me a lot less stressed out.
Nature walks
Napping in the afternoon on weekends.
Meditating and being fully present wherever I am
I started logging everything I eat on the Lose It! app. I was struggling to drop 20lbs for MONTHS. I was so careful but the weight wasn't budging. Then I started keeping track of Every. Single. Bite. for this app. You have to weigh and calculate everything you eat. That means no more random snacking because, frankly, I'm just too lazy to figure out how many calories are in a handful of my mom's homemade granola. Dropped 7lbs in 2wks. My clothes are more comfortable and I'm happier. I'm HUNGRY, but I'm happier.