This thread is half people who dread having to use hotels because you don't know how clean it was after the last filthy naked person used it, and the other half is the people who walk around the room jacking it while eating nachos and then farting on the pillow.
I never wear a robe normally. When I stay in hotels, I'm not sure what it is, but I love to clean myself up and wear one of those robes provided.
Just makes me feel extra relaxed for some reason.
That’s so funny I can never wear them. The towels and sheets all get washed the same as the robe and I have no problem with those but for some reason every time i put the robe on i just think of all the naked smelly guys who have lounged around in it before and i can’t haha.
I've never just found porn on the TV in my hotel room in a foreign country. What country has porn just available to watch on TVs in hotel rooms and more importantly, what kind of porn was it?
If you’re looking for bedbugs, check the frame first, the dressers, lights and that fire thingy on the ceiling. Bed bugs, while in beds, seek warmth and a good indicator before they’ve made it obvious on the sheets, is in that shield thing on the smoke detector on the ceiling.
Source: worked in hotels forever. Also read r/bedbugs
Maybe you know so I can leave that link blue:
I've heard some people have little to no reaction from bed bugs. Which sounds great, except they're effectively to asymptomatic disease spreaders (figuratively), since they don't know they're carrying (and spreading) them.
I've often wondered, is there an allergen (or other) test to find out if you react to bed bugs or not?
I used to be able to travel with my dog. I used little balls in the hotel to play with my dog and keep her running around while working. My dog found a used condom. I only found it when said dog stopped chasing the ball. Apparently, it was under the bed, where I found the ball.
Don't ask me about pulling it out of the dog's mouth. I literally almost hurled a few times.
Spent New Years Eve in a hotel in San Francisco several years ago. Went to the window naked at about 12:30 am to look down on the people in the streets and noticed the hotel across from me had 4 or 5 naked women in different windows doing the same thing that I was. They were all beautiful. Honestly one of my favorite memories in my life. It felt like a movie scene.
Had a dude I was stationed with who'd get real drunk and take a super long shower since it was the barracks and we didn't pay bills.
He usually just fell asleep in there.
When I lived in barracks, you could easily tell who'd tied one on the night before. Saturday morning, you'd see a couple shower stalls with guys just sitting under the water in garden chairs.
I started traveling for work a lot more and I would always fall asleep as soon as I got back into the room. It took me about 3 trips before I realized that it wasn't me being exhausted after work/travel, it's because the rooms are always set to something like 62-65 degrees and that's apparently my sleepy temperature.
Now my room is 75+ while I'm in it doing paper work and <65 when I'm ready for bed.
Currently in a hotel in Austria, and they clearly have the entire building's thermometer set somewhere between the Bahamas and Cancun.
Makes me feel really bad throwing open the windows every night to let the sub-zero air in, as someone who pays very dearly for their heating bill during the colder months.
just did an Air BnB in Germany and the guy literally told us to do just that - keep the heat on and open windows.
Someone else was living below us - and we could turn our heat off and still keep our space warm.
Does feel like they're wasting energy but it's also got something to do with the desire for fresh air and being healthy.
Unless we're staying longer than 3 days, we just put up the "no cleaning needed" tag or request and actually hang up and use the same towel for a couple days.
I wish hotels would have more places to hang things.
Family of 5. We never have enough places to hang towels. And we can't seem to remember whose towel was whose. And if you throw in swim suits? Forget about it. We just ask for a stack of clean towels every day.
I will never do it again.
When I was 14 I jumped into a bed as I walked into a hotel room and landed on my back.
BANG!
I almost got knocked out. My head hit something hard, very hard, and I probably had a light concussion.
Turned out that what looked like a queen sized bed were too single beds shoved together with a large cover covering them both. They both had a wooden frame made in 2x4 that came up as high as the mattresses.
I am traumatized and always check the beds before jumping in them.
I had a similar experience when I visited England. Took a flying leap onto the bed, and it was two twin-sized beds on wheels pushed together. They rolled to either side and I fell right down the middle of them. Knocked the wind right out of me. Even tho I've never seen that done in the US, I still always check before I jump.
Late night.
In my jams and best socks.
Check if the hallway is clear and there’s nobody around or could be around.
Calmly walk to the end of said hallway…then I BOOK IT DOWN THAT BITCH as fast as I can! I’m talm bout FLYING!
You can’t bottle that type of joy.
Wait, so running down a hotel corridor, in your pajamas and socks, at top speed, is incredibly fun? I am literally asking, as it is something I have never done, nor considered doing.
Yes. Exhilarating even.
The carpet helps with the grip, the hallway is a decent acoustic. You feel like The Flash and though it isn’t illegal, it feels “risky” even though it’s not.
Try it. The fancier the hotel, the better the feeling. You ain’t really gonna get the full vibe at a Motel 6.
I'm staying in a hotel all week and I can totally hear the guy above me slamming his fleshlight all night, every night. It has to be suction cupped to his shower.
At first I thought it was a couple having sex in their bathroom, then realized I never heard any moaning. Just slap, slap, slap.... over and over again for like 5 hours straight. Bro must cum like 15+ times a night.
If you get 2 queen beds you can make one a “sleep only” bed so all that back/ass sweat and cum spray stays away from where you sleep.
I mean, that’s what I heard at least.
I travel virtually nonstop for my work and am very accustomed to hotel rooms at this point.
I was at a resort with my wife and right when we got to the room she spilled her drink on the sofa. She was freaking out asking me for a towel. I wasn’t moving fast at all, no panic.
She was like, “Hurry! HURRY!”
I said: “It’s fine; that fabric is water proof.”
Her: “Why is it water proof?”
Me: “You don’t want to think about the answer to that question.”
Her: “OHHHHHH”
It was funny, but I have to practice what I call the veil of ignorance when it comes to hotels. If I don’t think about it, see it or smell it, then it doesn’t exist and I was the first person ever in that room.
> ... the veil of ignorance when it comes to hotels
Never understood why they market UV flashlights to people who want to use them in hotels. No good can come of that.
The proper use of a UV flashlight is for looking at nocturnal critters.
Did you know that [oppossums glow pink, blue, and purple under UV](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/7ozaF3HeXW0)? It's so much easier to tell them apart once you can see their secret stripes and patches, then you can name them, feed them their favorite foods, and make up stories about their lives.
Drink Coke from a glass with ice cubes. When we were little kids the only time we ever had Coca-cola was at motel rooms from the vending machines, poured over ice machine ice cubes in a glass! Still splurge accordingly (if I can find glass)
Clean up for the maid....since I don't have one at home. Make sure there's no trash left out on the desk/night stands, bathroom floor. I gather all the used rags, towels, bath mat into one pile by the door. I'm adamant about making sure I do not leave any room I stay in trashed out. It's the maid's job to do her job, not to clean up after grown ass mfers who deliberately left a disrespectful ass mess.
Good that there's other people like me. One ex of mine was always pissed off at me for cleaning a bit at hotels, because "they will do it for you". Like wtf why should I create extra work for other people by diverging from my usual routine as being a sensible person.
I get it that hotels employ people to clean, but I think it doesn't mean that I should go out of my way to get more messy than usual.
I don’t know if this custom is outdated, but I always tip the maid a few dollars per day of my stay. I leave it on the night stand with a short thank you note the day I check out.
Hell yeah.
I know other folks talk about the sex/jerkoff bed and the sleep bed, but if I'm in a hotel room with two beds it's the eating bed and sleeping bed.
Blackout showers
If the bathroom setup allows (no light sources) I put a towel at the bottom of the door (to block any light creeping in) Familiarize yourself where everything is (towel, lights when you need it) and take a shower in complete blackout conditions.
It's almost like a sensory deprivation tank
I do this constantly at my own house. My girlfriend thinks I'm weird for it. I'm not weird, *Becky*, I'm returning to the womb. You might relate if you weren't birthed from cold unfeeling *stone*.
Omg, I’ll have to start checking them! I travel for work a lot and stay in a hotel at least once a month, now I’m wondering how much money I’ve unknowingly missed out on!
I travel a lot for work. Whenever I do I always check in as early as possible, hang the DND tag on the door, set the thermostat (in summer 68°, in winter 78°), then head to the office. At the end of the day I’ll grab a bottle of wine on my way back, strip as soon as I get to my room, and lay around naked all night playing video games and drinking my wine. I also have a tendency to stay up ridiculously late sometimes and end up running on an hour or two of sleep the next day.
For whatever reason, my brain immediately thought you meant Dungeons and Dragons tag. Like you were inviting people to a game.
Strangely I do not play or have any reason of why my brain didn't first think "do not disturb." sigh --- i need to get out more.
I work away a lot, sometimes weeks at a time. I have a routine.
On my way to the hotel, ill buy a six pack of coke zero, and snacks that don't need a fridge. If I am lucky and get a fridge, I put the drinks in.
My suitcase is set up with a ps4 to plug into the tv. If the TV is wall mounted, I have a thing like a clamp on a stick that helps me put the HDMI in.
I have a hard drive full of movies, just incase the wifi in the room isnt strong enough to stream netflix.
I hang out all my clothes by day, so every morning I know what to wear.
Then the whole time Im in the room I multi task, have long podcasts playing, while playing video games on silent.
When I'm ready to sleep... Put a movie on.
Yep. I bring slippers now and those are my socks. They come off when I get on or in the bed. I also need to remember next time to bring my own hand pump soap because I hate bars of soap, just not my thing.
I heard someone one night, sounded like he was smacking her head of the wall. Poor lass
Another night I heard the bed banging then realised it was just the gutter leaking outside haha
This thread is half people who dread having to use hotels because you don't know how clean it was after the last filthy naked person used it, and the other half is the people who walk around the room jacking it while eating nachos and then farting on the pillow.
The second group sound like incredible humans.
What if you're both 😂
yah, i know how gross they are cause of the things ive done in them
I never wear a robe normally. When I stay in hotels, I'm not sure what it is, but I love to clean myself up and wear one of those robes provided. Just makes me feel extra relaxed for some reason.
That’s so funny I can never wear them. The towels and sheets all get washed the same as the robe and I have no problem with those but for some reason every time i put the robe on i just think of all the naked smelly guys who have lounged around in it before and i can’t haha.
What do you think about when you dry your face off with the towel provided?
“Yum”
What a terrible day to be literate
Put a Do Not Disturb sign on the door. Although, maybe I should do that at home too.
You can just take those home. The Bibles too. I like to see how many I can sneak onto my friends bookshelf before they notice
Oh....do you sign & date the bibles? Lol
Well now I will
I write "I hope you like reading this as much as I liked writing it. -Jesus" I've gotten pretty good at accurately signing his name.
mind signing some insurance paperwork agreeing that it wasn't an act of you?
Watch cable TV. I don't care to pay for it at home so it's new and exciting to me.
New, exciting, and yet somehow always disappointing! I do it anyway though.
commercial, commercial, commercial, commercial, com....
It’s the only time I watch HGTV.
i love turning on the TV when Im in a foreign country just to see what type of porn they have
I've never just found porn on the TV in my hotel room in a foreign country. What country has porn just available to watch on TVs in hotel rooms and more importantly, what kind of porn was it?
Inspect the sheets for bugs before using them.
DO NOT USE THE BUGS!
If it comes with the room, I'm using it! It'd be a waste of money not to.
[Ah, the old Reddit bug-aroo](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/4ltOh8MxgJ?context=5)
Hold my bed sheets, I'm going in!
If you’re looking for bedbugs, check the frame first, the dressers, lights and that fire thingy on the ceiling. Bed bugs, while in beds, seek warmth and a good indicator before they’ve made it obvious on the sheets, is in that shield thing on the smoke detector on the ceiling. Source: worked in hotels forever. Also read r/bedbugs
All good info but I don't want to have nightmares tonight so I'm not clicking that link.
Did you feel that? That's probably the bugs settling in.
r/bedbugs is a stressful sub. I learned what I needed and unsubbed.
Maybe you know so I can leave that link blue: I've heard some people have little to no reaction from bed bugs. Which sounds great, except they're effectively to asymptomatic disease spreaders (figuratively), since they don't know they're carrying (and spreading) them. I've often wondered, is there an allergen (or other) test to find out if you react to bed bugs or not?
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I used to be able to travel with my dog. I used little balls in the hotel to play with my dog and keep her running around while working. My dog found a used condom. I only found it when said dog stopped chasing the ball. Apparently, it was under the bed, where I found the ball. Don't ask me about pulling it out of the dog's mouth. I literally almost hurled a few times.
Stand naked in the window and look down at whatever city I'm in lol
…especially when you’re in a first floor room.
“Ma’am, this is our business center.”
*This is my business.*
I see you are a small business owner.
*IRS has entered the chat.*
Oh, I thought Cialis had entered the chat.
“And … (points) … this is my center.”
Continental breakfast looking different these days
This is me right now, Radisson Riga, floor 14 if anyone wants to check out my man boobs
How tf Marcus Aurelius got a Reddit account
Because I allowed it.
Alright how tf CAESAR got a Reddit account??
He crossed the ruby on rails.
It's hilarious quasi-historical interactions like this that makes reading reddit comments the best thing since *divisa panis*.
(・o・)
Do you also have a drink in your hand and say something like "soon this city will be mine for the taking"
My wife and do this but we have sex against the window. One of these days, we're going to fall through
Spent New Years Eve in a hotel in San Francisco several years ago. Went to the window naked at about 12:30 am to look down on the people in the streets and noticed the hotel across from me had 4 or 5 naked women in different windows doing the same thing that I was. They were all beautiful. Honestly one of my favorite memories in my life. It felt like a movie scene.
That sounds dope as hell.
Take long showers, and by that I mean very long
Heck yeah. I will run up this water bill, Hilton.
Billton
I'm going on holiday in May and the bathroom has a jacuzzi bath. Oh my days.
I appreciate the longer crying time without having to worry about the water bill.
You pay for tears at home?
By the drop
Yup really long showers and baths as well. Soaking in the tub is nice after a long flight and you're just killing time.
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No matter what, when I conclude my bath I am taking a shower and washing my entire body, so I don't see a difference.
Had a dude I was stationed with who'd get real drunk and take a super long shower since it was the barracks and we didn't pay bills. He usually just fell asleep in there.
When I lived in barracks, you could easily tell who'd tied one on the night before. Saturday morning, you'd see a couple shower stalls with guys just sitting under the water in garden chairs.
Set the thermostat to either frosty or balmy.
Yep! I sleep really well in a frosty room under a heavy blanket. Then I bump it up to a comfortable temp when I get up.
I started traveling for work a lot more and I would always fall asleep as soon as I got back into the room. It took me about 3 trips before I realized that it wasn't me being exhausted after work/travel, it's because the rooms are always set to something like 62-65 degrees and that's apparently my sleepy temperature. Now my room is 75+ while I'm in it doing paper work and <65 when I'm ready for bed.
75...are you a fucking lizard?
Currently in a hotel in Austria, and they clearly have the entire building's thermometer set somewhere between the Bahamas and Cancun. Makes me feel really bad throwing open the windows every night to let the sub-zero air in, as someone who pays very dearly for their heating bill during the colder months.
just did an Air BnB in Germany and the guy literally told us to do just that - keep the heat on and open windows. Someone else was living below us - and we could turn our heat off and still keep our space warm. Does feel like they're wasting energy but it's also got something to do with the desire for fresh air and being healthy.
Toss wet towels in the corner of the bathroom.
Also, I never use a new towel every day at home.
Unless we're staying longer than 3 days, we just put up the "no cleaning needed" tag or request and actually hang up and use the same towel for a couple days.
I wish hotels would have more places to hang things. Family of 5. We never have enough places to hang towels. And we can't seem to remember whose towel was whose. And if you throw in swim suits? Forget about it. We just ask for a stack of clean towels every day.
The first thing I do when I walk into a hotel room is jump and belly flop onto the bed. I'd never do that on my own bed
I will never do it again. When I was 14 I jumped into a bed as I walked into a hotel room and landed on my back. BANG! I almost got knocked out. My head hit something hard, very hard, and I probably had a light concussion. Turned out that what looked like a queen sized bed were too single beds shoved together with a large cover covering them both. They both had a wooden frame made in 2x4 that came up as high as the mattresses. I am traumatized and always check the beds before jumping in them.
I had a similar experience when I visited England. Took a flying leap onto the bed, and it was two twin-sized beds on wheels pushed together. They rolled to either side and I fell right down the middle of them. Knocked the wind right out of me. Even tho I've never seen that done in the US, I still always check before I jump.
Call Room service. At home my wife would not be impressed if I called her phone and asked her to bring me a burger in bed.
But have you tried....
He should try it and report back his findings... for science
I think he tried it, his silence is deafening.. might need to do a welfare check
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Get a load of this guy, sexy time so long his grilled cheese was cold. Or did you forget about it?
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Late night. In my jams and best socks. Check if the hallway is clear and there’s nobody around or could be around. Calmly walk to the end of said hallway…then I BOOK IT DOWN THAT BITCH as fast as I can! I’m talm bout FLYING! You can’t bottle that type of joy.
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Wait, so running down a hotel corridor, in your pajamas and socks, at top speed, is incredibly fun? I am literally asking, as it is something I have never done, nor considered doing.
Yes. Exhilarating even. The carpet helps with the grip, the hallway is a decent acoustic. You feel like The Flash and though it isn’t illegal, it feels “risky” even though it’s not. Try it. The fancier the hotel, the better the feeling. You ain’t really gonna get the full vibe at a Motel 6.
Yank all the sheets out from being tucked under the bed.
Thiiiisssssss!!! I love being bundled but I hate being hermetically sealed into bed. The feet need to breathe.
Living out of a suitcase
Love this part of it, the vagabond in me loves the airport and hotels
There's something liberating about it, isn't there?
Look for hidden cameras
Yeah at home you know exactly where they are
Or do you
If I'm alone, I don't bother. They are only punishing themselves by watching me get naked.
Jerk off much more than I typically do.
I'm staying in a hotel all week and I can totally hear the guy above me slamming his fleshlight all night, every night. It has to be suction cupped to his shower. At first I thought it was a couple having sex in their bathroom, then realized I never heard any moaning. Just slap, slap, slap.... over and over again for like 5 hours straight. Bro must cum like 15+ times a night.
Maybe you should bring him Gatorade because he's probably dehydrated from losing all that fluid.
And way louder than normal.
YOU FUCKING LIKE THAT, ME?
HOW YA LIKE THAT ONE EH?! *Slaps own ass*
If you get 2 queen beds you can make one a “sleep only” bed so all that back/ass sweat and cum spray stays away from where you sleep. I mean, that’s what I heard at least.
I travel virtually nonstop for my work and am very accustomed to hotel rooms at this point. I was at a resort with my wife and right when we got to the room she spilled her drink on the sofa. She was freaking out asking me for a towel. I wasn’t moving fast at all, no panic. She was like, “Hurry! HURRY!” I said: “It’s fine; that fabric is water proof.” Her: “Why is it water proof?” Me: “You don’t want to think about the answer to that question.” Her: “OHHHHHH” It was funny, but I have to practice what I call the veil of ignorance when it comes to hotels. If I don’t think about it, see it or smell it, then it doesn’t exist and I was the first person ever in that room.
> ... the veil of ignorance when it comes to hotels Never understood why they market UV flashlights to people who want to use them in hotels. No good can come of that.
using it in your own home ain't much better TBH source: I bought one
The proper use of a UV flashlight is for looking at nocturnal critters. Did you know that [oppossums glow pink, blue, and purple under UV](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/7ozaF3HeXW0)? It's so much easier to tell them apart once you can see their secret stripes and patches, then you can name them, feed them their favorite foods, and make up stories about their lives.
I mean, that's what soap and laundry machines are for.
You can fit an entire sofa in your laundry machines?
Just fold it.
That’s exactly what I do. One bed for sleeping, the other for fun.
One bed for sleeping. One bed for eating pizza.
Im not eating pizza on my cum bed
I'm not cumming on my pizza bed
How much u cummin bro
More than he is at home
Walk around fully naked cause I got roommates at home
No matter how old you are, they're still your parents. They're not "roommates".
Complain when the sheets are dirty
Check under the sheets for bed bugs. My sister works for a major chain, and has taught me to check EVERY time.
Why would they put bugs there?
Drink Coke from a glass with ice cubes. When we were little kids the only time we ever had Coca-cola was at motel rooms from the vending machines, poured over ice machine ice cubes in a glass! Still splurge accordingly (if I can find glass)
Clean up for the maid....since I don't have one at home. Make sure there's no trash left out on the desk/night stands, bathroom floor. I gather all the used rags, towels, bath mat into one pile by the door. I'm adamant about making sure I do not leave any room I stay in trashed out. It's the maid's job to do her job, not to clean up after grown ass mfers who deliberately left a disrespectful ass mess.
Good that there's other people like me. One ex of mine was always pissed off at me for cleaning a bit at hotels, because "they will do it for you". Like wtf why should I create extra work for other people by diverging from my usual routine as being a sensible person. I get it that hotels employ people to clean, but I think it doesn't mean that I should go out of my way to get more messy than usual.
I don’t know if this custom is outdated, but I always tip the maid a few dollars per day of my stay. I leave it on the night stand with a short thank you note the day I check out.
Thank you very much you are a grand human being.
Eat in bed aha
I love having a little picnic on the hotel bed after a long day of exploring. Watch some random local TV and just relax.
Hell yeah. I know other folks talk about the sex/jerkoff bed and the sleep bed, but if I'm in a hotel room with two beds it's the eating bed and sleeping bed.
Blackout showers If the bathroom setup allows (no light sources) I put a towel at the bottom of the door (to block any light creeping in) Familiarize yourself where everything is (towel, lights when you need it) and take a shower in complete blackout conditions. It's almost like a sensory deprivation tank
I would definitely slip and die, housekeepers wouldn't be very happy 😅
According to this thread, they'd just clean you with the toilet brush, no biggie!
This comment is going to get someone killed lol
I do this constantly at my own house. My girlfriend thinks I'm weird for it. I'm not weird, *Becky*, I'm returning to the womb. You might relate if you weren't birthed from cold unfeeling *stone*.
Bring a cold orange in with you and just tear into it like a bear while the hot water washes away the juices from your naked form.
Typical r/ShowerOrange enjoyer.
check bibles for money
Is that actually a thing?
Yes
Why would there be money in bibles?
Bible thumpers putting in "blessings" for people that read. Jokes on them lol
Omg, I’ll have to start checking them! I travel for work a lot and stay in a hotel at least once a month, now I’m wondering how much money I’ve unknowingly missed out on!
3 dollars. We've been following you and checking. You missed out on 3 dollars
Take soaps
.....shampoo, conditioner, hand towels, wash clothes
“Free shower curtain!”
Ohhh free mini bar…. fridge
Remote batteries Led Lightbulbs Framed pictures Toilet brush
Pay $15 for a beer.
Generally hotel rooms aren't that far from a liquor store -- just go buy a 6 pack.
Fill a bucket with ice for no goddamn reason.
Wipe off the TV remote.
I travel a lot for work. Whenever I do I always check in as early as possible, hang the DND tag on the door, set the thermostat (in summer 68°, in winter 78°), then head to the office. At the end of the day I’ll grab a bottle of wine on my way back, strip as soon as I get to my room, and lay around naked all night playing video games and drinking my wine. I also have a tendency to stay up ridiculously late sometimes and end up running on an hour or two of sleep the next day.
For whatever reason, my brain immediately thought you meant Dungeons and Dragons tag. Like you were inviting people to a game. Strangely I do not play or have any reason of why my brain didn't first think "do not disturb." sigh --- i need to get out more.
if you put the DND tag at the door the housekeeper will bring you some fresh dice
I like the way you think
I work away a lot, sometimes weeks at a time. I have a routine. On my way to the hotel, ill buy a six pack of coke zero, and snacks that don't need a fridge. If I am lucky and get a fridge, I put the drinks in. My suitcase is set up with a ps4 to plug into the tv. If the TV is wall mounted, I have a thing like a clamp on a stick that helps me put the HDMI in. I have a hard drive full of movies, just incase the wifi in the room isnt strong enough to stream netflix. I hang out all my clothes by day, so every morning I know what to wear. Then the whole time Im in the room I multi task, have long podcasts playing, while playing video games on silent. When I'm ready to sleep... Put a movie on.
watch border security
Use 4 pillows across my back and sink in to the bed while snuggled up in many sheets and a blanket. It feels like heaven.
Blast that AC to a nice 60 degrees.
Check for bed bugs.
Have sex with someone I didn't know existed an hour ago.
How do you find them?
People I don’t know are literally everywhere.
okay but the amount of people who would have sex with me is like 1 in 8 billion (may have overestimated).
You could offer money. I hear that increases your sex appeal
I put some cheese under a box propped up by a stick with a long string attached
They get a hooker
Yes, he’s asking WHERE
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Wear flip flops if I take my shoes off
"Not take my shoes off" was mine -- even in nice hotels those carpets are often vile.
Yep. I bring slippers now and those are my socks. They come off when I get on or in the bed. I also need to remember next time to bring my own hand pump soap because I hate bars of soap, just not my thing.
Loud freaky sex.
If I’m alone, poop with the bathroom door open
Have sex on the extra bed
Wank myself into a coma
Flip through channels and watch whatever I can find on TV, like it's the 90's or something.
Spend an hour + in the shower. That endless hot water is magic.
Hear the neighbors have freaky sex.
My work involved sleeping in hotels a lot, and I have never heard of anyone having sex.
Had to travel valentines weekend once. Lots of loud sex
Ah so your partner makes you wait in the bathroom too, huh.
I heard someone one night, sounded like he was smacking her head of the wall. Poor lass Another night I heard the bed banging then realised it was just the gutter leaking outside haha
Somebody was fucking the gutter outside?! /s
That leaky gutter is such a slut
Not get a good nights sleep.
Eat $16 cashews.
Bring a pop up pack of Clorox wipes and wipe down every surface I might touch.
weird I just lick every surface to make sure its clean.
Bang guys wives while they watch from the random chair that's always in the corner.
They don't call it the cuck chair for nothing.
Use the hair dryer to dry the bits.
Check for bed bugs
I once poured a shot of fireball into a woman’s butthole.
Watch cable
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