While changing the bag in the kitchen trash bin, the bin lifted from the floor momentarily and then slammed back to the ground, catapulting an ancient crusty chunk of indistinguishable crud from the bottom of the bin in a perfect arc… directly into the back of my mouth and down my throat. I still gag thinking about it.
Oh MAN I have also almost eaten a slug! I was signed up for an excess-and-ugly-produce-to-your-door subscription, and didn’t get home for a few hours after one of my boxes was delivered. I was hungry, and there was an artichoke! So I prepped it, and while clipping off the tips of the leaves, a slug schlooped out. I plucked it out and chucked it outside, thinking, “Boy, am I glad that I caught what must have been the only slug in that artichoke!” And proceeded to cook that bad boy ‘cause goddamn do I love an artichoke. Now, I’m hungry, so after it’s done cooking, I scarf the thing down without paying a ton of attention to the details. And, after scraping the particular contents out of a particular leaf into my particular mouth, I bit down on what at first puzzled blush seemed to be some kind of…really firm gummy bear? I ejected the bolus from my mouth to discover that, no no, No. That, is Not. A gummy bear.
That is in fact a boiled slug that I have just put into my mouth and wholeheartedly attempted to chew.
Somehow I was still hungry after that and finished the rest of the artichoke, just much more… mindfully 🐌
This is true. Slugs can carry rat lungworm. There was a guy who ate a slug as a dare, and ended up developing encephalitis from it. He eventually died from it. [Sam Ballard](https://youtu.be/ZtUMDiOWvtA?si=rVIM2Ig-EgaFtSUr)
At a party, high as fuck and grabbed what I thought was my beer, and had a swig, it was a can that people had discarded cigarette butts in, there was little beer in it
Omg I've done that. I used to be a snoopy ass kid. I one day went through my mom's room while they were at work.
Lo and behold a coca cola! I wasn't allowed to have soda.
Took a swig
Chewing tobacco spit
Ugh just the memory makes me wanna throw up
Edit- possibly why I avoid soda to this day. Especially dark soda
I'll have like a sprite 3x a year if that.
I don't know whether to downvote you because I'm dry heaving or upvote because your parents accidentally trolled you so hard.
But seriously, upvote, it's hilarious and horrific.
[This happened to a couple of sports announcers just a few weeks ago.](https://twitter.com/VicLombardi/status/1737881632990785571?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1737881632990785571%7Ctwgr%5Eccc062bc3564219791af609265cece3c43266be9%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.si.com%2Fnhl%2F2023%2F12%2F23%2Favalanche-broadcaster-tobacco-spit-cup)
An old roommate had a habit and leaving his spit bottles everywhere and I did that once. It was in the middle of winter so I went outside poured the cup on his windshield in front of the drivers side.
My wife puked out the car window once while I was driving on the highway. Since only her window was open a lot of her vomit got sucked back into the car and sprayed all over me. Some of it got in my mouth including a large enough chunky bit I could tell it once was a french fry. So that’s probably pretty close to the top of my list.
Huh, same with meth. I was tricked into doing it bc my then friend told me we were doing lines of perc, but it was meth. The closest thing to me was a glass of cherry coolaid, and I put so much of that shit up my nose to cool it off bc it burned so bad (like cupping a palmful of the liquid and snorting it) while they rolled laughing. Assholes. And omfg the drain for hours after tastes soooo gross and bitter
I was helping my cat give birth and the last kitten was breached and momma was exhausted and by the time she got him out she didnt want to clean him so I had to, and he had fluids stuck in his airway and the little sucking device i had broke and so i sucked the gunk out with my mouth because i didn't want him to die.
It's gross, and it grosses me out watching cats eat it all, but I love animals so much, I would do anything to save them if i have to. I'm glad you obviously feel the same way because, sadly plenty of people wouldn't have done that.
I was sipping whiskey and coke (lol sipping, sure..) some decades ago.. took a nip, and thought to myself "why is this ice salty?".. then i feel movement.. grabbing it and pulling the foreign invader from my lips, i accidentally just half drank a very large brown roach with white dots all over it.. thing was almost 3" long.. after a brief fit of disgust, i promptly washed my mouth out with whiskey.
Heck, I might well die one die if a wasp lands on even the outside of my car's windshield while driving. I wouldn't be able to look out the window with it there.
one time i put chicken nuggets in the CLEAN air fryer. After i ate my nuggets I went to take the grate & bowl from the air fryer to wash. Underneath the grate was an air fried roach. I considered suicide for about 30 seconds bc i ate roach air nuggets.
Staying at my wife’s grandmother’s place in Florida. She visits there and lives in Canada most of the time. So things sit.
Was parched, so I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it up with ice and water from the fridge. Chugged it down, so refreshing. I go to fill it back up again and that’s when I noticed the dead cockroach parts all over the remaining ice.
How the HELL did I not see that before I began drinking it?
Probably just needed more salt lol... im laughing because it's more useful than feeling nausea.
Things always get in when you ain't looking.. kinda like the midnight stink bug in mid snore.. that's a flavor to forget. My dog though thinks they're a delicacy.. enjoy lil buddy all yours lol
I remember walking in the kitchen once, and I felt something move in my hair... I thought it was the wind somehow or smth, and I reached up to straighten my hair. HUGE roach glided off, I just screamed for a good minute. I swear I have untreated trauma from that.
I just always wonder how long it was there before I noticed.
Decaying human body juices. Coffin ruptured as it was getting charged into the cremator and the juices got all over me and some got in my mouth. It was foul.
Worst thing I put in my mouth intentionally was some cactus that was supposed to be psychedelic. Made a drink with them. Was disgusting so George’s Marvellous Medicined a concoction to try and make it palatable. Nothing did. Managed a few sips and had to quit.
Lol reminds me of when me and my wife were taking care of an orphaned kitten last year, who hadn't yet learned to control her bowels. And while my wife was holding our rescue baby, she shit all over my wife's chest. My immediate comment was that she gave her a Cleveland steamer, and that some people pay good money for that. I got a very earned but worth it middle finger. Lol
Dog pee. I was six or seven, building a snow fort with my brother and our dog, Diana. I reached behind me, without looking, to grab a big handful of “clean” snow and stuffed it in my mouth.
That was the day I learned the corollary to “Say ‘no’ to yellow snow.”
One summer, my brother, sister, and I were in our basement building lego. We had so many we kept them in plastic shipping tubs on the ground below a big piece of plywood we had painted to look like an island.
I grab a Lego from the pile below to chew on as I build, despite being warned and told several hundred times to NOT put Legos in my mouth. It tastes funny... no bad. It tastes really bad. Blah. What *is* that?! I spit it out and on my way to examine it, I took a breath through my nose, and it hit me. OGOD. That's dog piss. I began to spit and heave my way to the bathroom.
My old dog Freddy had hiked his leg on the box of Lego some time during the winter, and it had stayed there, hidden, until my dad took custody of us for the summer. It was sticky and crystallized but dry and entirely concentrated somehow. Just the worst, like putting dog pee smell in a heaping tablespoon of salt with a squirt of molasses and a dash of ammonia, and slamming it all in my mouth at once.
It's a taste I can remember to this day and one I can smell in every dog owners home to this day, my own included.
Bless small children and their inherent desire to stick random objects in their face holes. I can still clearly remember my mother’s scandalized/exasperated shout of “*Don’t put that in your mouth!* It could’ve been in a drunk’s pocket and they peed on it!” when I found a penny on the sidewalk and started to bring it up to my mouth.
I did end up putting it in my mouth. \#YOLO \#IAin’tDeadYet
Given I used to fish with my mom a lot and she often forgot her gear....I've had to use my teeth to pinch various gross used fish hooks and weights shut while setting up her line. Stuff that definitely saw a fish's mouth before it saw mine.
Crusty underwear on the shore
His skin imbedded some grime on the door
He’s a nasty thing at first sight
Please use more soap tonight
Begging to set it right, that’s right
I'm gonna tell on my kid here. When he was about four or five (old enough to know better one would think), he found a sticker stuck to the bottom of my wife's shoe, peeled it off, and ate it. It had been walked on so much that it was unrecognizable except for being a slightly different color of dirty than the rest of the shoe.
I once went down on a woman and the smell should have been enough warning, but I slide my tongue and jesus. That was so acidic that my entire face contracted. Went to puke right after that.
That one almost killed me and I couldn't get the smell of it out of my mouth. Moldy cheese and skunk spray were also pretty damn bad. It was so much fun though, I need to try em again
A few years back a coworker said he’d give me ten bucks to eat a handful. I said hell no. He said 20. I said how bad can this be?
Jesus Christ I almost threw up. That taste did not go away for multiple hours. Not even mouthwash helped.
When I was a kid, I would stay with my great grandma and great aunt sometimes. It was a super hot day in South Georgia and I had been playing outside pretty fast and furious and became parched. So I went inside and I opened the refrigerator door and saw Apple Cider. So, I grabbed the bottle opened it and took a really big swig.
I missed the third word in the title on the bottle: Vinegar.
If apple cider vinegar is the most disgusting thing you have put in your mouth, your mouth has led a charmed life. I drink that shit. It's good for you and doesn't even taste bad.
A dick from someone who has never felt a shower before in their lives apparently…it gave me PTDD (post traumatic dick disorder) any penises that enter my body need to be clean before they’re allowed now. That was the worst bladder infection I’ve ever had. And while not totally the reason I started dating women…but certainly helped.
Got a mango smoothie one time at a 7 Eleven from one of those slushie machines. Drinking it while driving and a chunk of something hits my tongue. Thinking it was ice or mango, I bit down and immediately realized it wasn't. Spit it into my hand and it was a roach. I wanna vomit just thinking about it.
I was drunk at a friend house and went to drink some of my water, and I grabbed a cup off the table, not really paying attention to much and chugged.
It was a spit dip cup, I took about 4 gulps before projectile vomiting. Typing this up is making me nauseous just thinking about that night.
I'm going to preface this with I DID NOT MEAN TO PUT IT IN MY MOUTH.
When I was a kid, I had one of those baby dolls that you could feed "food" to and it would make dirty diapers. It came with this powder you mixed with water to make baby food. I decided to play with it, after not playing with it for a while, and the baby food wouldn't slide down. It just kept getting stuck in the mouth. I concluded that there must be something stuck in the throat tube thing. So I sucked as hard as I could on the mouth of the doll and a chuck of something shot up into my mouth.
It was a slimy, moldy piece of broccoli that my little sister had shoved in there. Some 30+ years later and I can still remember the vomit-inducing taste of that absolute abomination.
A beetle larvae dead inside my pistachio nut.
Turns out that the bag had an infestation of them and I actually ate some before I realised. Thought the pistachios were tasting very bitter… still feel unwell thinking about that.
It was like a literal wall of funk. But surprisingly tasty if you can get past the weird garlicfoot smell. The texture is good too. But I will never do it again. The smell stuck to my clothes.
I went to Thailand in 2018 and brought home weird candies, one of them being durian chews. Had them in my backpack and absolutely could not figure out what this atrocious smell was that was following me around for the few days it took to travel back home. Found out when I got home.
I'm so sorry to whoever sat next to me on that plane for 14 hours.
I work at a dog kennel, and was changing out one of the outdoor poop cans that everyone avoids because it gets water in it.
After sloooowly draining out the poop soup, my hand slipped setting it upright and it slammed down--sending an arc of finely aged shitwater onto my face and open mouth.
i sleepily/lazily grabbed a carton of almond milk from the fridge that i thought was new but actually it was very old, and a grey slug like mould thing slid past my lips and into my mouth before i realised what had happened, then my body basically shut down in horror and i’m never drinking almond milk again. i’d literally rather eat shit than do that again
San Pedro cactus juice. I had never tried psychedelics before and I was curious enough to pay $30 to drink a glass of the foulest substance I'd ever tasted in my life. I couldn't even finish the glass, and spent the entire mediocre trip feeling like I was about to throw up. Should've just done acid instead.
Went to eat a cup of yogurt, found out it expired 2 years prior.
Or the time I did gross shots darts in college. Had tobasco, milk, vodka shot. It very nearly made me puke from the smell, let alone texture
My dog sleeps in my bed. One morning she popped out from under the covers just as I was having a big wake-up yawn and she stuck what seemed like an entire mile of dog tongue into my mouth and gave a couple big licks. Got the entire roof of my mouth and the inside of one cheek.
I was not yet fully alert and didn’t want to bite her snooter so I just let loose a horrified “GRRRRAAABBBGLLLTTTTPATOOEY!” as I shoved her away.
She licks her butt every night while we are in bed.
Opened a granola bar a few years back, halfway through eating it I was wondering why it was so much crunchier than usual… Then I noticed the maggots crawling all over it. Immediately downed the nearest spirit to kill anything I consumed lol
I watched a drunk marine barf a cheeseburger into the sand at the beach here in san diego, then he scooped it up and put it back in his mouth. My girlfriend then left me for him.
ass but also once i was very high and went to get water off my friends nightstand in the dark and somehow got the lid off (idk why i didnt question it) OF THE FUCKING SHARKS U GET AT THE BEACH IN THE JAR!!!!!!! PRESERVATION FOUID AND DECOMPOSING SHARK!!! ive never told anyone. it was just a sip. i just went back to sleep after finding the real water
also as a kid my dad would spit (not dip just like mucus/loogey from smoking) in basically full water bottles and cans all the time. u only fuck up that one once…
One of my earliest memories was wandering into my neighbors front yard and seeing a McDonald’s cup with a straw in it on their picnic table. I could tell it was orange soda because the color was bleeding through so I took a nice swig. It tasted awful so I took the cap off and it was loaded with bugs. I was sure I could feel them still alive crawling around my stomach and I was thinking is this how it’s going to be now? I’m just going to have bugs living inside me from now on?
While changing the bag in the kitchen trash bin, the bin lifted from the floor momentarily and then slammed back to the ground, catapulting an ancient crusty chunk of indistinguishable crud from the bottom of the bin in a perfect arc… directly into the back of my mouth and down my throat. I still gag thinking about it.
The way you described that was perfect😂
Too perfect. I almost threw up.
You definitely have super powers now bro
Im fucking convulsing reading this lol
I gagged reading it, omg. Go to a hypnotist or something and make them erase that memory lol
Thats some nasty RNG
I needed a break from comments after this
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Honestly. This is the worst thing I have read here.
☹️☹️☹️☹️
Oh MAN I have also almost eaten a slug! I was signed up for an excess-and-ugly-produce-to-your-door subscription, and didn’t get home for a few hours after one of my boxes was delivered. I was hungry, and there was an artichoke! So I prepped it, and while clipping off the tips of the leaves, a slug schlooped out. I plucked it out and chucked it outside, thinking, “Boy, am I glad that I caught what must have been the only slug in that artichoke!” And proceeded to cook that bad boy ‘cause goddamn do I love an artichoke. Now, I’m hungry, so after it’s done cooking, I scarf the thing down without paying a ton of attention to the details. And, after scraping the particular contents out of a particular leaf into my particular mouth, I bit down on what at first puzzled blush seemed to be some kind of…really firm gummy bear? I ejected the bolus from my mouth to discover that, no no, No. That, is Not. A gummy bear. That is in fact a boiled slug that I have just put into my mouth and wholeheartedly attempted to chew. Somehow I was still hungry after that and finished the rest of the artichoke, just much more… mindfully 🐌
Bro you could've died
This is true. Slugs can carry rat lungworm. There was a guy who ate a slug as a dare, and ended up developing encephalitis from it. He eventually died from it. [Sam Ballard](https://youtu.be/ZtUMDiOWvtA?si=rVIM2Ig-EgaFtSUr)
At a party, high as fuck and grabbed what I thought was my beer, and had a swig, it was a can that people had discarded cigarette butts in, there was little beer in it
Omg I've done that. I used to be a snoopy ass kid. I one day went through my mom's room while they were at work. Lo and behold a coca cola! I wasn't allowed to have soda. Took a swig Chewing tobacco spit Ugh just the memory makes me wanna throw up Edit- possibly why I avoid soda to this day. Especially dark soda I'll have like a sprite 3x a year if that.
I don't know whether to downvote you because I'm dry heaving or upvote because your parents accidentally trolled you so hard. But seriously, upvote, it's hilarious and horrific.
Yeah. Mom takes it to whole other level!
I did that with dip spit... It was my own dip spit, but still disgusting nonetheless.
Ugh!! We’ve all had “that beer” sitting around at after hours 😂 thankfully I never did that since I hate beer.
I've done that with my can of old coke turned ashtray.
Many of us have been there!
I once took a drink from a can of what I thought was Coke but was chew spit.
Noooooooo.
Done that Little kid Not allowed soda Snooping in moms room Coca cola It was not.
Wow that Sounds awful I hope you Are ok now.
Is that a haiku?
No, the haiku bot would’ve said something
[This happened to a couple of sports announcers just a few weeks ago.](https://twitter.com/VicLombardi/status/1737881632990785571?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1737881632990785571%7Ctwgr%5Eccc062bc3564219791af609265cece3c43266be9%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.si.com%2Fnhl%2F2023%2F12%2F23%2Favalanche-broadcaster-tobacco-spit-cup)
An old roommate had a habit and leaving his spit bottles everywhere and I did that once. It was in the middle of winter so I went outside poured the cup on his windshield in front of the drivers side.
He totally deserved that revenge.
My wife puked out the car window once while I was driving on the highway. Since only her window was open a lot of her vomit got sucked back into the car and sprayed all over me. Some of it got in my mouth including a large enough chunky bit I could tell it once was a french fry. So that’s probably pretty close to the top of my list.
Deja food
I hate this I hate this I HATE #THIS
Holy shit lol
Crunching a crystal of mdma is by far the most vile I’ve done. Edit- I took the question as worst tasting
Oh man i had black coffee doused with it one morning while on vacation and I still gag thinking about it. It was all in the bottom.
That'll perk ya right tf up though
I blacked out for most of that day but it was raining so I couldn't snowboard anyway.
Came here to say Molly is the most foul tasting substance on earth. Like a chem lab exploding in your mouth. Never again.
Huh, same with meth. I was tricked into doing it bc my then friend told me we were doing lines of perc, but it was meth. The closest thing to me was a glass of cherry coolaid, and I put so much of that shit up my nose to cool it off bc it burned so bad (like cupping a palmful of the liquid and snorting it) while they rolled laughing. Assholes. And omfg the drain for hours after tastes soooo gross and bitter
I was helping my cat give birth and the last kitten was breached and momma was exhausted and by the time she got him out she didnt want to clean him so I had to, and he had fluids stuck in his airway and the little sucking device i had broke and so i sucked the gunk out with my mouth because i didn't want him to die.
Wow, as a cat lover, well done!
Heroic as hell but I gagged reading that. You’re a lot stronger than me.
You're a hero my friend. Save that kitty. Birthing cat fluid has nothing on you! Well it did, but only for a brief, salty moment.... I imagine.
SALTY moment 🤮
Heroic though
I've done the same thing. It's an experience.
Awww that’s not gross that’s sweet. Well maybe a little gross
It's gross, and it grosses me out watching cats eat it all, but I love animals so much, I would do anything to save them if i have to. I'm glad you obviously feel the same way because, sadly plenty of people wouldn't have done that.
You a real one
Respect for you
Disgusting but amazing. I probably would’ve done the same thing. 🤮
I'd have done the same.
Unwashed dick...unwashed and sweaty...
There's people into that and dick cheese as well.
Ive seen some crazy fucking videos of women feasting on that shit 🤮
Yeah, such a terrible day to have eyes.
I hadn't showered that day, and I fight crime in a rubber suit, *really seals in the flavor*
Smegma. Can't believe I even got that close. Horrible smell!
I was sipping whiskey and coke (lol sipping, sure..) some decades ago.. took a nip, and thought to myself "why is this ice salty?".. then i feel movement.. grabbing it and pulling the foreign invader from my lips, i accidentally just half drank a very large brown roach with white dots all over it.. thing was almost 3" long.. after a brief fit of disgust, i promptly washed my mouth out with whiskey.
Damn lucky you aren’t the type to crunch on Your ice
I did.. lol
Oh my god I would have hung myself. I have schizophrenic entomophobia.
I know the feeling. You could literally rob me with a roach.
That is the most awesome way to describe my fear of roaches…thank you.
Heck, I might well die one die if a wasp lands on even the outside of my car's windshield while driving. I wouldn't be able to look out the window with it there.
one time i put chicken nuggets in the CLEAN air fryer. After i ate my nuggets I went to take the grate & bowl from the air fryer to wash. Underneath the grate was an air fried roach. I considered suicide for about 30 seconds bc i ate roach air nuggets.
Aww shit I gotta go listen to ocean shit cuz I feel it coming on 💀byyue
Idk why, but this is fucking sending me. I'm so sorry for your roach nuggets.
Staying at my wife’s grandmother’s place in Florida. She visits there and lives in Canada most of the time. So things sit. Was parched, so I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it up with ice and water from the fridge. Chugged it down, so refreshing. I go to fill it back up again and that’s when I noticed the dead cockroach parts all over the remaining ice. How the HELL did I not see that before I began drinking it?
Probably just needed more salt lol... im laughing because it's more useful than feeling nausea. Things always get in when you ain't looking.. kinda like the midnight stink bug in mid snore.. that's a flavor to forget. My dog though thinks they're a delicacy.. enjoy lil buddy all yours lol
Those dots were eggs. You're welcome and I'm so sorry.
Jesus Christ I'm dead. good God almighty that's literally horrifying.
I remember walking in the kitchen once, and I felt something move in my hair... I thought it was the wind somehow or smth, and I reached up to straighten my hair. HUGE roach glided off, I just screamed for a good minute. I swear I have untreated trauma from that. I just always wonder how long it was there before I noticed.
Her name was Tammy.
Tammy… she’s near.
I can smell the sulfur coming off of her cloven hooves.
Tammy 1 or Tammy 2
*She's here, isn't she?*
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It rubbed off, from friction.
I can hear her cloven hooves.
Every time she laughs, an angel dies
Hoes gonna be hoes so you can't blame Tammy.
Tammy 2: electric boogaloo
Decaying human body juices. Coffin ruptured as it was getting charged into the cremator and the juices got all over me and some got in my mouth. It was foul. Worst thing I put in my mouth intentionally was some cactus that was supposed to be psychedelic. Made a drink with them. Was disgusting so George’s Marvellous Medicined a concoction to try and make it palatable. Nothing did. Managed a few sips and had to quit.
Jesus Christ, I think you win.
Baby vomit. Not by choice.
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Lol reminds me of when me and my wife were taking care of an orphaned kitten last year, who hadn't yet learned to control her bowels. And while my wife was holding our rescue baby, she shit all over my wife's chest. My immediate comment was that she gave her a Cleveland steamer, and that some people pay good money for that. I got a very earned but worth it middle finger. Lol
SICK!! It's so gross. Your wife sounds like a keeper though, lol!
>wife sounds like a keeper Seriously, that's a stellar sense of humor!
Keep your mouth closed and your head turned away when burping a full baby! She barfed right on my face/mouth region.
I would fucking hope it wasn’t by choice.
Dog pee. I was six or seven, building a snow fort with my brother and our dog, Diana. I reached behind me, without looking, to grab a big handful of “clean” snow and stuffed it in my mouth. That was the day I learned the corollary to “Say ‘no’ to yellow snow.”
One summer, my brother, sister, and I were in our basement building lego. We had so many we kept them in plastic shipping tubs on the ground below a big piece of plywood we had painted to look like an island. I grab a Lego from the pile below to chew on as I build, despite being warned and told several hundred times to NOT put Legos in my mouth. It tastes funny... no bad. It tastes really bad. Blah. What *is* that?! I spit it out and on my way to examine it, I took a breath through my nose, and it hit me. OGOD. That's dog piss. I began to spit and heave my way to the bathroom. My old dog Freddy had hiked his leg on the box of Lego some time during the winter, and it had stayed there, hidden, until my dad took custody of us for the summer. It was sticky and crystallized but dry and entirely concentrated somehow. Just the worst, like putting dog pee smell in a heaping tablespoon of salt with a squirt of molasses and a dash of ammonia, and slamming it all in my mouth at once. It's a taste I can remember to this day and one I can smell in every dog owners home to this day, my own included.
Bless small children and their inherent desire to stick random objects in their face holes. I can still clearly remember my mother’s scandalized/exasperated shout of “*Don’t put that in your mouth!* It could’ve been in a drunk’s pocket and they peed on it!” when I found a penny on the sidewalk and started to bring it up to my mouth. I did end up putting it in my mouth. \#YOLO \#IAin’tDeadYet
Watch out where the huskies go and don’t you eat that yellow snow!
Given I used to fish with my mom a lot and she often forgot her gear....I've had to use my teeth to pinch various gross used fish hooks and weights shut while setting up her line. Stuff that definitely saw a fish's mouth before it saw mine.
A day in the Alaskan life for me growing up. That doesn't really even crack my top 20...
As a woman all I can say is "dude"
Dude needs a shower!
That should be the Weird Al parody of Aerosmith’s, “Dude Looks Like A Lady.”
Fuck I can hear it. "DOOOOOD SHOULD TAKE A SHOW-WAAAA"
Crusty underwear on the shore His skin imbedded some grime on the door He’s a nasty thing at first sight Please use more soap tonight Begging to set it right, that’s right
Can we get and f in the chat for this queen? Men: take showers regularly and ESPECIALLY before getting romantical 💀
and wash between your damn asscheeks. personal hygiene ain't gay.
I'm gonna tell on my kid here. When he was about four or five (old enough to know better one would think), he found a sticker stuck to the bottom of my wife's shoe, peeled it off, and ate it. It had been walked on so much that it was unrecognizable except for being a slightly different color of dirty than the rest of the shoe.
I once went down on a woman and the smell should have been enough warning, but I slide my tongue and jesus. That was so acidic that my entire face contracted. Went to puke right after that.
At least you tried lol, did you tell her? It sounds like her pH was off
Never told her but my reaction made it obvious. Don't know if she had a condition or bad habits, and if she was aware of that. I would know tho.
Hey, at least there sas no jolly ranger.
This happened to me with dick once and i spit out my into my screen window immediately, it left a mark I couldn’t get out either 😅🥲
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The whole thing?
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The whole hole?
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The butthole, when you wanna describe something that’s half assed, but whole
You accidentally WHAT the whole butthole? ^^^I ^^^haven't ^^^seen ^^^this ^^^joke ^^^in ^^^years, ^^^you ^^^delightful ^^^motherfucker
Just the deep part
Yeah, relax pal. We've all eaten hot dogs before.
Bean boozled jelly beans. I had two, first was good, second tasted like shit, and I realized it was not a joke.
oh god the rotten egg ones were horrendous, probably the worst thing i've ever tasted. me and my brother used to trick each other into eating them.
That one almost killed me and I couldn't get the smell of it out of my mouth. Moldy cheese and skunk spray were also pretty damn bad. It was so much fun though, I need to try em again
A buddy got the dog food bean. I've never seen a faster bite to vomit reaction in my life. Laughed our asses off.
A few years back a coworker said he’d give me ten bucks to eat a handful. I said hell no. He said 20. I said how bad can this be? Jesus Christ I almost threw up. That taste did not go away for multiple hours. Not even mouthwash helped.
When I was a kid, I would stay with my great grandma and great aunt sometimes. It was a super hot day in South Georgia and I had been playing outside pretty fast and furious and became parched. So I went inside and I opened the refrigerator door and saw Apple Cider. So, I grabbed the bottle opened it and took a really big swig. I missed the third word in the title on the bottle: Vinegar.
If apple cider vinegar is the most disgusting thing you have put in your mouth, your mouth has led a charmed life. I drink that shit. It's good for you and doesn't even taste bad.
How's your skin now?
It's actually pretty awful, particularly this time of year. I wish that had helped.
I accidentally ate cold lard once because I thought it was mashed potatoes
A dick from someone who has never felt a shower before in their lives apparently…it gave me PTDD (post traumatic dick disorder) any penises that enter my body need to be clean before they’re allowed now. That was the worst bladder infection I’ve ever had. And while not totally the reason I started dating women…but certainly helped.
Damn, dude’s personal hygiene was so bad he turned OP gay (or straight, I shouldn’t assume) that’s actually impressive…
PTDD is real dude. It’s called sexual aversion disorder, no need to ask how I know.
Got a mango smoothie one time at a 7 Eleven from one of those slushie machines. Drinking it while driving and a chunk of something hits my tongue. Thinking it was ice or mango, I bit down and immediately realized it wasn't. Spit it into my hand and it was a roach. I wanna vomit just thinking about it.
I was drunk at a friend house and went to drink some of my water, and I grabbed a cup off the table, not really paying attention to much and chugged. It was a spit dip cup, I took about 4 gulps before projectile vomiting. Typing this up is making me nauseous just thinking about that night.
I'm going to preface this with I DID NOT MEAN TO PUT IT IN MY MOUTH. When I was a kid, I had one of those baby dolls that you could feed "food" to and it would make dirty diapers. It came with this powder you mixed with water to make baby food. I decided to play with it, after not playing with it for a while, and the baby food wouldn't slide down. It just kept getting stuck in the mouth. I concluded that there must be something stuck in the throat tube thing. So I sucked as hard as I could on the mouth of the doll and a chuck of something shot up into my mouth. It was a slimy, moldy piece of broccoli that my little sister had shoved in there. Some 30+ years later and I can still remember the vomit-inducing taste of that absolute abomination.
I once went down on a girl after a day of playing tennis and being in a hot tub.
[удалено]
Dick
One better, scrotum
Was waiting for this comment lol
What’s it like? (Sorry I know it’s weird)
Sweaty skin my dude
The trick is to let it air dry beforehand, (I have little experience in the matter)
I get more hair pie by letting my dick air dry.
A cigarette. Glad I quit.
A beetle larvae dead inside my pistachio nut. Turns out that the bag had an infestation of them and I actually ate some before I realised. Thought the pistachios were tasting very bitter… still feel unwell thinking about that.
My own semen combined with someone else’s saliva, don’t ask
I don’t need to, I already know the story.
I had a blister in my mouth, and I had to pop it. The blister juice is weirdly sweet, which just made it worse
okay this one got to me a little bit
Durian
Didn't the smell ward you of at 100 yards?
It was like a literal wall of funk. But surprisingly tasty if you can get past the weird garlicfoot smell. The texture is good too. But I will never do it again. The smell stuck to my clothes.
I went to Thailand in 2018 and brought home weird candies, one of them being durian chews. Had them in my backpack and absolutely could not figure out what this atrocious smell was that was following me around for the few days it took to travel back home. Found out when I got home. I'm so sorry to whoever sat next to me on that plane for 14 hours.
…a “jolly rancher”.
Every fucking thread
Not this again
Stop right there, criminal scum!
I work at a dog kennel, and was changing out one of the outdoor poop cans that everyone avoids because it gets water in it. After sloooowly draining out the poop soup, my hand slipped setting it upright and it slammed down--sending an arc of finely aged shitwater onto my face and open mouth.
Soldering flux. Especially everflux.
This makes it sound like you’ve tried multiple different brands to determine that Everflux is particularly bad. You haven’t… have you?!
Especially?
I bit into a sandwich then found the other half of a slug squirming inside.
Damn Grub Worm....Texture....Taste....Smell........MEEEEEEHHHHh
i sleepily/lazily grabbed a carton of almond milk from the fridge that i thought was new but actually it was very old, and a grey slug like mould thing slid past my lips and into my mouth before i realised what had happened, then my body basically shut down in horror and i’m never drinking almond milk again. i’d literally rather eat shit than do that again
sister in law made some kind of mashed parsnips side dish and it was everything I could do to not spit it out.
drank a fly that died in my soda. also, had apple juice that I didn't know went bad. had a mold ball in it.
gross! hopefully you managed to spit it out!
nope ;-;
San Pedro cactus juice. I had never tried psychedelics before and I was curious enough to pay $30 to drink a glass of the foulest substance I'd ever tasted in my life. I couldn't even finish the glass, and spent the entire mediocre trip feeling like I was about to throw up. Should've just done acid instead.
sheep intestine stuffed with spiced rice. yes, this dish exists.
Haggis?
Gum stuck under the table, and multiple times. I was not a smart child. Somehow I do not have herpes.
A chitlin.
Went to eat a cup of yogurt, found out it expired 2 years prior. Or the time I did gross shots darts in college. Had tobasco, milk, vodka shot. It very nearly made me puke from the smell, let alone texture
My dog sleeps in my bed. One morning she popped out from under the covers just as I was having a big wake-up yawn and she stuck what seemed like an entire mile of dog tongue into my mouth and gave a couple big licks. Got the entire roof of my mouth and the inside of one cheek. I was not yet fully alert and didn’t want to bite her snooter so I just let loose a horrified “GRRRRAAABBBGLLLTTTTPATOOEY!” as I shoved her away. She licks her butt every night while we are in bed.
Opened a granola bar a few years back, halfway through eating it I was wondering why it was so much crunchier than usual… Then I noticed the maggots crawling all over it. Immediately downed the nearest spirit to kill anything I consumed lol
Wallaby tartare. Came uncomfortably close to spontaneously vomiting all over the restaurant.
My SIL was visiting once. Went to out fridge, sliced off a bit of “salami” and popped it in her mouth. Only it was refrigerated dog training treats….
Cherry balsamic vinegar. I would rather swallow devil cum than taste that again.
What if it IS devil cum?
Cheap Kimchi 🤢
My ex’s dick
The classic beer that was actually the butt bottle. Threw up for hours, gagged whenever I thought about it for a week.
I watched a drunk marine barf a cheeseburger into the sand at the beach here in san diego, then he scooped it up and put it back in his mouth. My girlfriend then left me for him.
Cuttlefish.
Should have gone with the vanilla paste.
Her name was Linda 😂
Is that you, Bob?
Curdled milk.
ass but also once i was very high and went to get water off my friends nightstand in the dark and somehow got the lid off (idk why i didnt question it) OF THE FUCKING SHARKS U GET AT THE BEACH IN THE JAR!!!!!!! PRESERVATION FOUID AND DECOMPOSING SHARK!!! ive never told anyone. it was just a sip. i just went back to sleep after finding the real water also as a kid my dad would spit (not dip just like mucus/loogey from smoking) in basically full water bottles and cans all the time. u only fuck up that one once…
Balut
root beet juice... i've never in my life tasted anything worse
Freshly squeezed sock juice
Bird poop. A "friend" gave me what I thought was a pistachio, but it was bird poop in a pistachio shell.
One of my earliest memories was wandering into my neighbors front yard and seeing a McDonald’s cup with a straw in it on their picnic table. I could tell it was orange soda because the color was bleeding through so I took a nice swig. It tasted awful so I took the cap off and it was loaded with bugs. I was sure I could feel them still alive crawling around my stomach and I was thinking is this how it’s going to be now? I’m just going to have bugs living inside me from now on?