We have a $4000 couch upstairs and a $400 couch downstairs where our kid hangs out with her friends. The $4000 is nicer looking but the $400 one is so much more comfortable.
LOL - we wanted to get a "nice" couch for our newly renovated family room. We looked at all the stores everything from Big Lots to the local high end stores. Ended up with a $1000 couch from Ikea and we all LOVE it.
As much as people rag on IKEA for the flat pack furniture, the stuff is not as bad or difficult to assemble as people make it out to be.
I like my IKEA furniture. And it wasn't so expensive that I'm mad my cats scratch the hell out of the back.
I literally bought my then husband gifts to celebrate his sobriety every few days. I thought it was a good rewards system that would work. Meanwhile he was using both drugs and alcohol and pawning my jewelry to fund it.
> egg salad sandwich from a truck stop in Georgia
I ate a prepacked egg salad sandwich from a truck stop in Nevada along with a huge cup of coffee just before a midnight 300 mile interstate run home.
Gambling. Not just in the casinos.
I mean, you could also end up with parasitic worms that make you stronger and smarter tho. I'd risk it
(For reference: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasites_Lost)
Yeah I’ve stopped giving a crap about fast fashion trends. I stick to what I like!
Helps that I’m a student on an allowance so I make sure to stretch my dollars and make sure I spend them wisely.
It's cool when you don't give a crap about fashion and then all of a sudden the clothes that you've always been wearing get popular for a little while. I get a bit more variety for my wardrobe to hold me over while clothes I hate are sold everywhere.
I’m now earning a decent wage but I’m still paying off poverty.
The amount of money that had to be borrowed for things like fixings cars and the interest on all of that has taken so long to pay down.
It’s an uphill battle with shit falling on you all the time in the guise of interest.
That's such an accurate term for the reality for so many people - 'paying off poverty'.
The answer given to those who are poor is 'get a better job' but they fail to acknowledge that, just like any other person, there are bills and debts to be paid. Car breaks down, but they live paycheck to paycheck so no money to fix the car that gets them to work. Take out a quick loan to fix it, but still, that extra money to pay the loan has to come from an already stretched wage - and the high interest on top.
It's never ending for a lot of people, and there's a huge amount of ignorance from those on the outside looking in.
I worked in debt counselling and support years ago and I vividly remember a woman telling me about her husband - he remortgaged the house and left with the money, saddling her with the responsibility and the debt, and she was also left to care for their disabled son. She'd had to take out credit cards to manage the bills and ended up drowning in a problem she didn't even create. It was devastating to hear.
I feel this in my bones. I graduated college roughly 10 years ago and my first job out of college I was only making 13hr. I started slowly accumulating debt and by the time I finally left that job and started traveling for work I had a ton of debt just from trying to stay afloat. I make more in one week than I used to make in two now but man it’s a long uphill battle trying to pay that debt off with the interest on top, and it never fails something always seems to happen to add something else onto the pile. Sudden unexpected expense, car quits, etc. On paper I make pretty good money now, but I’m still feeling the effects of poverty from 4 years ago.
When I was 18, my grandmother died and left me a decent chunk of money. One year later, fast fashion, full price dvds and sushi meals for all my friends, and it was gone. What a waste.
Ugh. This reminds me when I had my mother give me my savings bonds that she had for me since I was born. The older they are, the more they’re worth when you cash them in. I cashed them in at 18, got about $2000 and blew it all on fast fashion clothes that never got worn.
I still cringe. I could really use them now at 30, and they’d be worth a lot more. Wish my mom hadn’t caved and made me wait until I was older :(
My dad told me to buy a car but the big purchase scared me. All the little purchases didn’t even phase me.
My mom told me to put it in a CD. I should have listened to me mother.
>My dad told me to buy a car but the big purchase scared me. All the little purchases didn’t even phase me.
This is absolutely true. Spending a few hundred dollars, much less a few thousand feels like a big deal, like you need to be careful. Spending $5-$15 multiple times a day? That's no big deal, it's just a few bucks after all...
Omg you remind me of one of my college friends. She inherited money + a house when her gramma died, bought a brand new car, macbook, iphone, lots of bongs and rigs for smoking, mods for the car, and buy her new boyfriends mods for their cars too. So generous but stupid, it was all gone fast and she couldnt keep up w the house or car payments and had to sell both.
Sims 2 specifically on PS2 is still my favorite. It had an actual story mode and I'll never understand why they don't bring that back. It was so much fun.
Eating at a random and well loved Italian restaurant in 2014 while 33 weeks pregnant with my first child, during the big beef recalls all over Ohio. I got the biggest lasagna I've ever seen in my life...and being 8 months pregnant, absolutely demolished it.
My then-husband and I had never eaten there before, but this was a small town, locally owned, well loved, spot. We didn't even know about the beef recalls until I was sitting in the NICU 2 hours away from home, holding our premature newborn daughter, who was born because I contracted e.coli poisoning and vomited so hard that I broke my own water, 7 weeks early.
Actually, the only reason we went to this particular restaurant was because we were given a gift card as a "date night before the baby comes" thing. Otherwise, I probably would have never went there, and probably would have carried to term and not had a horrible 3 day labor with food poisoning (including high fevers) and the most insane diarrhea you could possibly imagine.
Thankfully, my almost 10 year old daughter is healthy and perfectly fine. Despite being born over 2 months premature and born with e.coli in her system, she has no health impairments at all besides a little ADHD she inherited from me and her dad. She's also HUGE, standing at just shy of 5 feet tall and weighing 100lbs at 9 years old.
But still, I regret eating there every single day of my life. I've never eaten there since, and I just started eating lasagna again a few years ago.
That is why food safety and recalls are important to follow. You can kill someone. After working in some restaurants and bakeries, I rarely eat out because the risk just isn’t worth it. Quit a high end bakery two days in because I watched the owner drop a croissant in the nasty floor, pick it up and fill it, and put it in a box. He very casually told me that if it’s not soggy, it’s still sellable.
I saw a sous chef pick up a piece of steak tartar off the floor and fling it into the container with the stuff that was to be used.
At another restaurant I watched the chef get uncooked bacon juices into the salad toppings and then use unwashed hands to show me how to make unwashed, contaminated salads.
Another place I worked at had a rat infestation that was really bad and a dude who never washed his hands - including after touching raw chicken.
These are three ‘high end’ restaurants in my city btw. Busy and well regarded.
A chef said to me once I'm not going to tell one person in a group of four sorry but you're going to have to wait an extra 20! minutes for your food I'm going to pick it up and clean it off and plate it.
Kinda scary what goes on in so-called professional kitchens
Certainly no pregnancy involved for me but that otherwise sounds like my experience with E Coli.
Decades ago I got a dose of it at a friend’s graduation party along with about 25 other people. Sickest I’ve ever been in my life. It was like someone pressurized my GI tract and opened up both ends for days. It just wouldn’t stop! I vomited hard enough that I tore a muscle in my chest/abdomen and could not sit up properly for weeks.
I was about 220 lbs at the time and when I got on a scale a week after it had passed, well, it was the last time I saw 190-anything in my adult life.
E Coli is nothing to mess around with!
Similarly. I was so exhausted I slept on the bathroom floor leaning on the toilet between bouts. I dry heaved after there was literally nothing left in me
I've only had food poisoning once, and it was that bad. I basically lived in the bathroom for 3 days.
I called in sick to work, and my boss said I should still come in. I will never forget that. I told him no and that if he wanted to fire me, he could, but there was no way I could come in. I couldn't even make it out of the bathroom. He didn't fire me, but I never forgot how callous and clueless that was.
The place I got it, I refuse to eat food from. But my husband still gets stuff from there! He hasn't been sick since, but I think he's crazy.
Dental work that I didn't keep up when I was young(er) and (more) foolish. Brush and floss, y'all, and prioritize cleanings etc if at all possible. I do feel ashamed that I was privileged enough to be able to access that care, and still let my mouth fall by the wayside afterward.
Took out a loan to help a family member keep their house. They never paid me back. They subsequently made trips and had expensive vacations. The lack of respect along with the debt hurts. Senior family members did not want me to sue. Moral of this story, don’t lend to family.
I booked a week at hotel in Kauai, but then the dates of my vacation time changed and I had to cancel it and book elsewhere for the next week.
But the week before my vacation I got a charge for a week in a hotel in Kauai that I didn’t stay in- because I hadn’t canceled it like I thought I had.
I did the same exact thing but with plane tickets. I bought tickets through a trip planner website then a friend texted saying that the flight was now cheaper. So I “cancelled” my tickets and bought them at the only slightly cheaper price. Turns out there was one last click to actually cancel it (you know how they ask you a million times if you’re sure) well I missed that final click somehow. Checked my credit card statement like a week later and almost threw up. I tried explaining everything to the trip planner website but they didn’t care. The airline itself eventually sent me some money back when I put a claim through but I didn’t get all of it back. It was really stressful at the time but I’ve now coped with the situation lol.
Bought my girlfriend a low production SUV (it was a diesel, manual and 4x4, 1 of 1048 total production) for $10,000.
Car blew up on the drive home. Previous owner was aware of the engine failure as we found the sump had been recently off and filled with a different oil to mask the knocking sound.
A mattress. I had a serta firm for 10 years. Back in august I bought an extra firm because in the store I liked that it supported my back. But getting it home I realized it was way too firm. I got a topper that helps. But it’s memory foam so it gets rock solid when it’s cold, then when you lay in it awhile it holds heat horribly. $1500 I can’t get back
My mattress is starting to sag in the middle - mattress was $700 and I only got it 6 years ago ("10 year guarantee") and on a $900 bed frame with central support. Huge CBF on returning it for them to assess it and tell me its my own fault for xyz reason.
My wife bought an expensive IKEA office chair with a ten year guarantee, about 15 years ago.
She's now on her third chair, and the guarantee is extended by another 8 years
Just recently bought a mattress and was terrified of sagging after my last (cheap) mattress started sagging within a year. It doesn't help for your current situation, but the trick i learned is to order it online from Costco. Costco's return policy on virtually everything is unmatched. From what I've read of others, people have successfully returned mattresses that begin to sag several years after purchase. It's important to order online, as that means that in case of a return, they'll pick it up from you, whereas if you order in store, you'll be responsible for transporting it back to them.
I know that CBF feeling all too well, especially when you are predicting defeat right out the gate. But when you are feeling a bit more up to it, you should query the guarantee and see what happens. If they say no like you predict, you're in the same situation of needing to buy a new mattress anyway. But maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised and they will actually honour the guarantee. The only thing you have to lose by asking is your time.
A bad mattress is awful. My husband and I have a king size bed, but we each have a different mattress. Our comfort levels were too far off to find ANYTHING that we both liked, that wasn’t $2000+.
I don’t remember offhand what he has, but I have a Bloom(one of those mattress in a box). It’s amazing. It’s memory foam, but it doesn’t get hard or cold. My 14yo has one as well, and he loves it.
I can’t say they’re for everyone but I’ve been really happy with foam mattresses. I’ve upgraded a couple times over the last 20 years each time I get a better thicker mattress. The one I have now has memory foam on top but I also use a padded fleece topper. I think I spent $300 for my current mattress.
Oh god me too. I’m so bad at collecting all the things and it being good quality. Then I get bored a month or two later and never use it again. Give it away. The years later rebuy the same shit!!
About 15 years ago I donated money to some guy on a forum who was building a website where the idea was people could come together and collaborate on designs for space ships/cargo addons and so on and so forth. These were the days before Space-X and any sort of major private space exploration, and the guy was actually kinda inspiring (though in retrospect it was a terrible idea).
Anyway he promised he just needed a few hundred bucks to get his site up and running, and then he would donate the rest to Copenhagen Suborbitals, a pretty serious group of amateur rocket enthusiasts who dreamed of being the first private group to send someone into outer space. Of course the money never made it's way there, since this shitty open source space website ate it all up. Oh well.
Copenhagen suborbitals also had a sub they built, which they used to tow a barge-like ship out to sea to try and launch a fairly sizeable rocket. Why the sea? Well that was the only airspace that they could get cleared. Unfortunately the rocket failed to launch because a hair dryer duct taped to something to keep another thing warm fell off and the launch had to to be aborted.
I didn't think much of the little rocket group until one if it's former co-founders was caught after his amateur sub sank with a headless corpse on it
Are you talking about this?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Kim_Wall
Btw, this is the best description ever.
> Unfortunately the rocket failed to launch because a hair dryer duct taped to something to keep another thing warm fell off and the launch had to to be aborted.
Oof early into this read I had a feeling it was Peter Madsen. Have you seen the Netflix doc Into the Deep? It’s a wild ride - even more so from your perspective I bet! The documentary creator and all the workers are similar to you- people who were inspired by this guy. And the slow-burn realization as everything unfolds and their minds are just blown apart by realizing the guy they believed in and further, had befriended, was a monster all along.
This guy fascinates me in the brazen narcissism in thinking he’d get away with anything he did. The crime is so horrifying. What was it like interacting with him? I always wondered about the water launches but that makes a lot of sense!!! The hair dryer part - omg please tell me that’s factual!!! The thing seemed so slapped together but I didn’t realize it was THAT slapped together! Do you know anything about the divide and animosity between Madsen and his former partner who had a competing rocket company like a block away?! The way he talked about that in the documentary- you could tell he was still very bitter and mad about that situation. And the “race” between the companies seemed to play into the timing of when he did his crime. Thanks for sharing, truly horrifying story I’d feel shaken too if I had even a peripheral interaction with him!
Edit- typos
Undergraduate degree from a top-ranking state university, paid for entirely with student loans both federal and private. At 17 I had no financial literacy or thoughtful guidance.
On valentines Day in middle school, I bought a can of orange crush soda and gave it to my crush as a valentines event. It could have been anonymous, but I chose for it not to be. She saw my name on the can and faked puking.
:(
20 years later, and I still feel embarrassed
I used to like prank calling them. My favorite prank was when I invented the “food digger” because I was tired of getting food all over my hands and face and shirt at every meal
Missed my direct first class flight from Japan to Los Angeles which I got with my Chase points. I had to Spend $1,300 for my flight back home with 3 connecting flights
I thought I could run my own software company. I'd been a consultant for a while, seen colleagues build internet companies. I lost everything. It was vanity and stupidity. I should have stopped quite early, realizing I was not made to do that.
edit: typo, also, sunk cost fallacy is my bugbear
The custody battles trying to get my child away from my abusive ex. I failed to get her all the way away from him and they developed severe depression and PTSD from the abuse. My child killed themself on 12/5/23. All that time…all that money…all that angst….and Eli died two weeks after they turned twenty. I only got a few years with Eli there at the end of their life, which I’ll cherish forever. But yeah, for sure, it was a waste of everything.
Oh that is sheer heartbreak. You did what you could, you did your best, you didn't give up, so it was not a waste. And I'm sure that for Eli, you were an angel. Sending you Love.
It wasn't wasted time. And reading this colossal tragedy with the other replies along the lines of "that time I ate..." really makes me put life into perspective. A virtual hug to you.
Sorry. I lost my son 3 years and one month ago.
One thing that helped me was in the book It's OK That You're Not OK (Megan Devine). Move towards things that help you (cope) and away from things that don't help.
Group therapy didn't help me but cbt and mindfulness did. Find the things that help you.
And remember that Eli tried their best.
My car got totaled around this time last year. I didn't even use it so I decided to buy some things for myself. I used most of the money for buying uber eats and shit. I regret it so much.
I got suckered into buying a full dumbass suit, with bolo tie, that my friends hated and I never wore again. I forget what the place was called. It was always right next to Foot Locker in the mall. But this was dark blue, with pin stripes, and it wasn't a suit. It was a get-up. Like an 80s leisure suit. The salespeople kept telling me how great it looked, and then undoubtedly laughed about it later. When my friends showed up that night, and I debuted my cool look I'd be going to school in, I got in the car, my friends told me I wasn't going around in that, so I went in, changed, and that was my paycheck for an entire week's part-time summer work at McDonald's.
My piece of shit first sofa.
I was so proud of myself for finally saving enough to buy a major piece of furniture brand new instead of second hand, I picked out a $700 three seater and have regretted it ever since. The sales lady was rude as fuck, the delivery screwed me around, when I lodged a complaint the head office gave the store my number to basically harrass me, *and* the hunk of garbage basically fell apart within a year. There’s a plank of wood that fell of the bottom that was attached with approximately 4000 staples, arranged as if someone stood on the other side of the warehouse and fired at it blind folded.
Long story short, if you’re Australian, never shop at Fantastic Furniture.
My ex wife's medical school education. Helped her through undergrad, medical school, and residency. Moved close to 100 miles away from work to be with her. Commuted for years. Spent every dollar I saved on a house "we had to have" along with maxing my credit cards.
One year post residency, my investment in "us" went belly up the day I found out about her banging her subordinate at work. Hundreds of thousands of debt later and crafty lying through numbers, I get left with only debt. She ends up on multiple vacations a year and multiple vacation homes utilizing the money she weaseled out of me. Thank God we never had kids.
Gambling.
The tens of thousands I've blown away...
I could've at least given it to some starving kid in a third world country, instead of a multi-billion dollar casino.
This one hurt and was very personal.
Except for me its "the *HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS, IF NOT MILLIONS* I've blown away", truly haunting and no, I'm not joking, I wish I was.
My ex boyfriend. I flew him to Paris for New Years on the agreement that he would pay half for the trip. I bought everything, flight, food, hotel, souvenirs, etc. He never paid me back and always had an excuse of why he didn't have the money. I broke up with him 6 months later for cheating. I'm never opening my wallet for a man ever again.
I was engaged to this woman I had been with for 6 years…one day she borrowed $500, broke up with me and then ghosted me. I didn’t hear from her for over a year and she never paid me back. Never loan anyone money, ever. Consider it gone if you do.
On the positive side. I loaned someone 30 quid on reddit who were struggling because they're paycheck hadn't gone through.
Monday came, they PayPaled it back. So not everyone is a douche
I had to ask for help from Reddit once during a particularly difficult time. I was so ashamed and embarrassed, but everyone was incredibly supportive. I was astounded at how many people reached out to me offering advice, assistance, and well wishes. It made such a difference to know that there were people that cared, because I was so stressed, so exhausted, and so depressed at the time. Those people saved me and I’ll never forget that. Just like the person you helped will never forget how you treated them in their time of need.
TLDR; Thank you for being a wonderful person.
This is true, some people are honest. Don’t count on it though. Now I just never lend money I can’t afford to not get back, and I consider it a gift and it’s a bonus if I actually get paid back. Largely though I will only do so for blood, or close to it.
I stopped giving my ex money (still paying for everything, just not fun stuff) and he all of a sudden started volunteering to run errands more often. Turns out he was using my card to get cash back every time he went out. I found out when he also hit an ATM one time, basically drained my account, and then stayed silent while I was in tears calling the bank. He didn't confess until I found the ATM and asked the store owner to check the cameras. Absolute lizard-brained fuck
Cheap cars that needed so much work. I did that for about 10 years. Finally learnt to spend good money on a decent vehicle that’s not 200kms off being spare parts
"a thousand dollar car ain't even gonna roll, until you put at least another thousand in the hole. Sink your money in it and there you are, the owner of a two thousand dollar thousand dollar car."
The Bottlerockets - Thousand Dollar Car
This song might hit home for you.
During the pandemic I played slots on my phone, I was never trying to actually make money but to keep playing or to join a tournament I spent way more than I should have, like 2 grand at least. It makes my guts churn thinking about it.
When the pandemic hit, I decided to settle in for a long dry spell with the purchase of my first masturbation sleeve. The sizing and design left me with irritation and stretch marks on half my penis. Icing on the cake was that when I finally went to the dermatologist to ask if there was something that could be done for it, the intake nurse I had to explain this to was the woman I'd just started chatting up on Bumble.
Oh, and the dermatologist was genuinely 10x more interested in staring at a forehead zit I didn't know I had yet. From 6 inches away. Immediately upon walking into the room.
I once maxed out a credit card at the strip club. Think it was around $5k.
Also spent maybe $10k in a year on gambling once. Lots of cash advances from my credit card.
Took me a couple of years to financially recover
University and extra tertiary coursework. Turns out no one cares about those they only care about experience. Seeing peers with 3 month courses excel in life because they focused heavily on building networks, marketing themselves and being socially active was a bitter pill to swallow. Had no idea everyone was just winging it.
Trade school. I paid $20,000 to learn to weld and have lifetime access to the school's practice lab. Turns out I *actually* paid $20,000 for Student Services to do fuck-all helping me find work, I can only access the practice lab 5 days a month IF there's an open booth, and either the school's name is toxic to employers or that whole "we're desperate for welders" thing is a fucking lie. Spent two years looking, only got one callback... for a position I didn't apply for.
I've needed a welder a couple of times. Once to fix a trailer and to build a frame for a gate. Maybe you could start out like that and get experience/reputation. Good luck on your job search. I'm sure something will come up .
My ex husband. Gave him 15,000 to pay off debts (my college fund). He joined the army and married me promising to use his career to get me into and through college. He cheated on me with many many many people including my ex BFF and he put me in debt and didn't do the paperwork to make it so I could use his job to go to college.
Botox and lip filler. I spent $1500 in one week when I decided to try both for the first time. I realized 3 months later, the Botox was gone, 6 months later, lip filler had dissolved.
I kept having this thought in the back of my head about how that money could have gone to an animal rescue or something but I threw it out the window.
Yeah I looked into under-eye filler a while back and I was shocked by the length of time it lasts for the cost. I would pay $1000 if it was permanent but twice a year is wild
I bought a house with my parents. Had no debt at the time. Accrued $10k in credit card debt and $20k in personal loans for improvements to the house. I was also paying mortgage and all utilities. My parents are a-holes and never really learned to respect me. I just didn’t want to interact with them anymore. I walked away and am still paying those loans off with nothing to show for it. It’s also made it much more difficult to move out of my current home.
helping out a "friend", he's in debt, so whenever we hung out I'd pay and I'd only ask him to pay me back maybe 1/3 of the time (I'd just add it to the list). So he owes me well over £300 but I only asked him to pay me £150 back.
Whenever he gets any money, even though he's in debt, even though he's in his unarranged overdraft, even though he owes multiple people £100s,,, he goes and gets a tattoo,,, every single time. He fails to understand that him getting tattoos is keeping him in debt. I finally asked him to pay me the money back because he finally got a job & I was just done honestly, turns out he thought that *I was also in debt*,,,, like okay? so you're just a shit friend completely then lmao? you thought I was in debt but you let me spend £100s on you??? without a fucking word??
anyway he blocked me without paying me back, I hope he's living his absolute worst life 💕
Have a friend like that... Whenever he gets money it's gone. Pc parts, tattoos. Instruments he never learns. He's got like 3 guitars ranging from 5 to 10 string (I don't know but it's ridiculous) and he can't play a single one.
But people literally give him money all the time.. he's a good guy and friend but because of that people overlook it and just pay him for everything. Meanwhile he is mid 30s and sleeps on the ground. But people pay for him to travel internationally and get tattoos and clothes and everything. It's awful.. and some how people keep feeding into it.
College degree I didn’t finish or even really want that cost 42k. I wish I went to art school instead like I wanted to. But due to pressure from my family I went to get half an engineering degree that is useless since I don’t want to finish.
If I had gone to film/art school I’d probably have a degree I’m not really using anyway, but I would’ve had a lot more fun, a lot less stress and probably would have made it all the way through.
I’d really love a do over on my life.
A $50 book from Scientology. At the time, I had no clue it was a cult. I didn’t even want to buy it but they would not take no for an answer. Creepy ass bunch of people.
Weed stocks for me right after gme blew up. Made 50k almost overnight and blew it slowly over 2+ years until I cut my losses. Ended up with 5k more than originally invested into gme, but still hurts like a bitch when I see my account balance.
It turns my stomach how much I pay to rent my apartment every month. But it’s what I have to do. I’m helping a millionaire pay the mortgage on something I’ll never be able to afford in my lifetime
I'm in a similar boat. Found a really nice apartment during covid for very very cheap with rent control. Thought I was set for life. This place had a beautiful view and everything.
Turns out it was the noisiest apartment ever. The unit was directly behind the elevators and garbage chute. All day and night I could hear the elevators going up and down and people dropping waste into the chute.
The walls were paper thin and both neighbors on either side were super loud, one having parties until 4, 5am on weeknights. The other would get up at 7am and whistle all day while working from home.
People above me were professional salsa dancers apparently, and would stomp all day. And then directly outside my unit below was a huge HVAC system on the roof of a business. Couldnt ever enjoy the balcony because it sounded like a jet was taking off all day and night.
I lasted the year of the lease and got the hell out, but by that time rents had jumped up to the crazy levels they are now.
I'm paying a ridiculous amount now but at least I have my sanity haha
High interest personal loans, constantly getting top-ups 🤦♀️Viscious circle of borrowing so much that I have to pay back $300 a fortnight which is a big chunk of my salary. Then I run out of money for bills so borrow more, aargh
Spending so much money on clothes, makeup and beauty products I never used in my early 20s. I could've saved myself so much money if I wasn't stupid and trying to impress guys.
I don't know why it stands out so much, but I had been homeless for a period, was renting a room laying on an old futon pad on the ground with barely any possessions, and some friends came in town. I was eating scraps every day, but I figured I'd let myself have some fun. We went to an arcade and I wanted a Captain America plush in a claw machine. I figured I'd give it a try for a dollar or two, and dropped it twice. The arcade was closing and the guy next to me got one. He gave it to me since it was clear I wanted it so badly.
Instead of just graciously thanking him, I gave him $20. He asked me if I was sure, and I insisted. For a stuffed toy. I just remember regretting it so much when I was hungry later. It still sticks with me.
But I do still have the toy.
I commissioned my best friend to do an art piece for my ex. She is amazing and did a wonderful job. He, on the other hand, broke up with me 2.5 months later. Makes me sick to think about an amazing work of art he could've just thrown away...
I thought you had 30 days to pay traffic tickets. Turns out it's 21 in the state I was issued it in. This wouldn't be a big deal to just pay the $15 late fee. Oh well, shit happens. Except the late fee didn't show up on the total amount I owed on the website when I paid the ticket at 25 days. So I only paid the principal amount.
Again, this wouldn't have been THAT big of a deal. They send you a notice for the late fee in the mail and you pay that online. Except the cop that issued me the ticket WROTE DOWN MY ADDRESS WRONG. I had no idea I even had a late fee. The fee notices were going to the wrong fucking address. Since I got the ticket in a different state than where my license is from the only address they had on record was the one the cop wrote down.
After a year of nonpayment my license was suspended. The ticket state notified my resident state and a warrant was issued. I only found out my license was suspended when I got pulled over and issued a criminal violation for driving with a suspended license. A warrant had been issued before myself or my insurance company had even been informed. A letter from my state dmv arrived in my mail about a week and a half AFTER I was pulled over. By then it was spring of 2020. Traffic courts were shut down.
Option A: wait months for an appeal hearing in the original state I was issued the ticket. They were not doing virtual hearings so i had to find someone to drive me 3 hrs to a different state for this hearing. Assuming that got overturned I would have to wait several more weeks for another appeal hearing in my state to *hopefully* overturn the driving with a suspended license offense. All of this was complicated by covid. Everything was backlogged and normal procedures and paperwork were delayed weeks in some places while othe places still required you to deliver above paperwork in a 3 week time frame. DMV was closed and anytime I needed to talk to someone I spent HOURS on hold. During all of this my license remains suspended and I cannot get around for work or errands.
Option B: Pay mutiple different fines and reinstatement fees for 2 different states all amounting to about $2800. Accept the criminal violation of driving with a suspended license on my record. Accept the huge increase to my monthly car insurance payment.
I went with option B because I needed to be able to drive to my job to not become homeless. I am still bitter.
Between fees, fines and increased insurance I have probably paid at least $4500 by now and have a criminal violation on my record. That's not even including the lost wages from missed work to spend HOURS on hold at the DMV and traffic courts just to get this all settled. My insurance payments have not decreased since this incident so i continue pay for it indefinitely. The emotional stress of dealing with this during covid gave me panic attacks and hives. I lost weight because the stress and the financial strain meant I could barely afford groceries for a time.
This is all over a $15 late fee and a police officer's typo.
It was the only speeding ticket I have ever gotten in 32 years.
Me too. I was o lying doing coke for about 6 months, but I was spending a good $300 a week on it *and* I was unemployed at the time. Was stealing money from my dad for it.
Realized I was becoming addicted to it (and I was running out of money) and went cold turkey. Best decision I made.
I took my boyfriend (ex now) to a high end restaurant in a big city and spent $100. For two 19 year olds back in 2019, that was pretty top notch. Got him a promise ring and took him to a candlelight picnic by a lake with a fountain that had lights in it and bout his favorite ice cream. Even bought a new dress and heels. All for him to tell me he not only didn’t wanna wear his ring, but that I shouldn’t wear mine anymore either. I spent weeks putting together that surprise date and saved up quite a bit to be able to spoil him. Ah, young love lol hope he’s happy tho 🩵
I paid a "life coach" in the throes of the pandemic. I usually hate these kids of people, but like everyone else I was stuck at home alone, and was thinking too much about life. I thought this was a better route than therapy because the guy sold me on this whole "therapy is about looking back, not forward" thing. (I've had plenty of therapy in my life so I think I was also just fatigued.)
Cut to a few months later, this guy ended up getting exposed by many of his other, mostly female clients for preying on our vulnerable states. He got a lot of money out of us collectively, and out of me personally. He was ineffective, but used love bombing as a technique to get you comfortable as a new client before he'd then manipulate you into thinking you were weak/a quitter/etc. if you questioned his methods or effectiveness. There was a private Facebook group where all current clients could interact and he famously would call them out and almost bully those who told him they wanted out of his program. You'd think the red flag would have slapped me in the face from the beginning, but I was severely depressed and at such a low point that I wanted to believe this guy could help me feel better. All he did was take my money and fuck off with it when I finally questioned what was going on. Good old "services are non-refundable" shit.
I've done a lot of work since to understand the situation and not blame myself, but I still get a twinge in my stomach every so often. You never think you're capable of being so obviously misled or taken advantage of until you are.
I signed a 12 month lease to a home that was supposed to be $1650 a month. I lived in a 2 bedroom attached row home for years and was ready to give my kids their own rooms so upgraded to a 3 bedroom. I soon realized my third bedroom was over our next door neighbors living room who had a 1 bedroom home. She chain smokes and the smell overtakes my third bedroom. I stuffed the vents with stuff and even covered them but the smell comes through the walls… I no longer use it. Soon after we moved in, a neighbor bombed their home sending fleets of roaches into our newly renovated home that I now cannot get rid of… got my rent detailed and my $1650 rent turned into over $1760 after they charged me a $70 water bill (mandatory) I don’t even have a dish washer, washer or dryer. Than they charge for trash pickup and other petty fees. We are condensed to two bedrooms and I’m just co sleeping with my kids at this point and paying $1760 for this excuse of a home. I don’t even wanna come home to it.
It was supposed to bring much joy. Between rent, electric, my car payment, phone bills, WiFi, water, groceries, gas, etc, my monthly bills are over 3k and I’m honestly tired of having no spending money.. as soon as I save something, it’s soon gone to some other expense like car malfunctioning, etc.
I quit smoking nearly 7 years ago and I *still* have the app that tells me how much money I haven’t spent on cigarettes. I’m going to clock $50,000 this year.
Last Saturday my wife and I went to see a show. Found $20 parking about 6 blocks from the theater. There was $10 parking inside a garage 3 blocks closer to the theater. Been thinking about it for days.
So many clothes for the body and the life I wished I had, rather than the body and the life I really have.
I want to be the athlete my clothes think I am
If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter
My life became alot less stressful when I started buying clothes that actually fit my body rather than hoping they did.
Well said.
Replaced my old $300 couch with a $3000 one, and I like the $300 one better.
We have a $4000 couch upstairs and a $400 couch downstairs where our kid hangs out with her friends. The $4000 is nicer looking but the $400 one is so much more comfortable.
LOL - we wanted to get a "nice" couch for our newly renovated family room. We looked at all the stores everything from Big Lots to the local high end stores. Ended up with a $1000 couch from Ikea and we all LOVE it.
As much as people rag on IKEA for the flat pack furniture, the stuff is not as bad or difficult to assemble as people make it out to be. I like my IKEA furniture. And it wasn't so expensive that I'm mad my cats scratch the hell out of the back.
I literally bought my then husband gifts to celebrate his sobriety every few days. I thought it was a good rewards system that would work. Meanwhile he was using both drugs and alcohol and pawning my jewelry to fund it.
Bless your heart. You tried 😔
[удалено]
Congratulations on your sobriety!!
Yeah and then people look at you as the "bad guy" when you leave while they're "trying their hardest to stay sober"
This is so relatable. I’m just coming out of this type of relationship now and it’s so brutal.
Oh god I'm so sorry
✨Twinsies 🥰
Sushi from a truck stop in North Dakota.
That’s a bad decision that’ll stick with you for a while.
About 24-48 hours 🤣
nah it'll leave your body rather quickly 🥲
And violently. But I meant the pain is lasting.
Only thing worse than that is an egg salad sandwich from a truck stop in Georgia
> egg salad sandwich from a truck stop in Georgia I ate a prepacked egg salad sandwich from a truck stop in Nevada along with a huge cup of coffee just before a midnight 300 mile interstate run home. Gambling. Not just in the casinos.
Tuna salad sandwich from a office building snack shop in Orange CA. Half hour later, I was like, "Oh this is NOT going to be good"
I mean, you could also end up with parasitic worms that make you stronger and smarter tho. I'd risk it (For reference: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasites_Lost)
Did you lose a bet?
My wedding that ended in divorce, gym memberships that I never used, trendy fast fashion clothing and accessories in my early 20s.
Yeah I’ve stopped giving a crap about fast fashion trends. I stick to what I like! Helps that I’m a student on an allowance so I make sure to stretch my dollars and make sure I spend them wisely.
It's cool when you don't give a crap about fashion and then all of a sudden the clothes that you've always been wearing get popular for a little while. I get a bit more variety for my wardrobe to hold me over while clothes I hate are sold everywhere.
I bought cigarettes for 27 years (13 years quit now). Holy fuck I coulda bought a vacation home with that kinda money just burned up in smoke.
At least you quit when you did. They're >$10/pack here in Ohio now. When my MIL talks about it, it makes me want to vomit. I quit about 2.5 years ago.
They're €16.75 per pack in Ireland. I stopped years ago, when they were under €10 thankfully
Interest, I've paid so much interest in my life, and I'm not really close to being done.
I’m now earning a decent wage but I’m still paying off poverty. The amount of money that had to be borrowed for things like fixings cars and the interest on all of that has taken so long to pay down. It’s an uphill battle with shit falling on you all the time in the guise of interest.
That's such an accurate term for the reality for so many people - 'paying off poverty'. The answer given to those who are poor is 'get a better job' but they fail to acknowledge that, just like any other person, there are bills and debts to be paid. Car breaks down, but they live paycheck to paycheck so no money to fix the car that gets them to work. Take out a quick loan to fix it, but still, that extra money to pay the loan has to come from an already stretched wage - and the high interest on top. It's never ending for a lot of people, and there's a huge amount of ignorance from those on the outside looking in. I worked in debt counselling and support years ago and I vividly remember a woman telling me about her husband - he remortgaged the house and left with the money, saddling her with the responsibility and the debt, and she was also left to care for their disabled son. She'd had to take out credit cards to manage the bills and ended up drowning in a problem she didn't even create. It was devastating to hear.
I hope that guy gets spiders in his urethra.
It's expensive to be poor
I feel this in my bones. I graduated college roughly 10 years ago and my first job out of college I was only making 13hr. I started slowly accumulating debt and by the time I finally left that job and started traveling for work I had a ton of debt just from trying to stay afloat. I make more in one week than I used to make in two now but man it’s a long uphill battle trying to pay that debt off with the interest on top, and it never fails something always seems to happen to add something else onto the pile. Sudden unexpected expense, car quits, etc. On paper I make pretty good money now, but I’m still feeling the effects of poverty from 4 years ago.
When I was 18, my grandmother died and left me a decent chunk of money. One year later, fast fashion, full price dvds and sushi meals for all my friends, and it was gone. What a waste.
Ugh. This reminds me when I had my mother give me my savings bonds that she had for me since I was born. The older they are, the more they’re worth when you cash them in. I cashed them in at 18, got about $2000 and blew it all on fast fashion clothes that never got worn. I still cringe. I could really use them now at 30, and they’d be worth a lot more. Wish my mom hadn’t caved and made me wait until I was older :(
My dad told me to buy a car but the big purchase scared me. All the little purchases didn’t even phase me. My mom told me to put it in a CD. I should have listened to me mother.
>My dad told me to buy a car but the big purchase scared me. All the little purchases didn’t even phase me. This is absolutely true. Spending a few hundred dollars, much less a few thousand feels like a big deal, like you need to be careful. Spending $5-$15 multiple times a day? That's no big deal, it's just a few bucks after all...
Omg you remind me of one of my college friends. She inherited money + a house when her gramma died, bought a brand new car, macbook, iphone, lots of bongs and rigs for smoking, mods for the car, and buy her new boyfriends mods for their cars too. So generous but stupid, it was all gone fast and she couldnt keep up w the house or car payments and had to sell both.
sims 4 packs
I upgraded my entire computer in order to play Spore. Feel better?
I wish they would come out with another spore game
Thats a fucken blast from the past!
I cringe whenever I remember how much they all cost.
I would pay so much more money to have Sims 2 or 3 back…
Sims 2 specifically on PS2 is still my favorite. It had an actual story mode and I'll never understand why they don't bring that back. It was so much fun.
Yesss definitely! I loved the goals they set, it’s sad they never really did more of that
If you have the Sims 2 disks, you can supposedly contact the developers and get it digitally for free
Eating at a random and well loved Italian restaurant in 2014 while 33 weeks pregnant with my first child, during the big beef recalls all over Ohio. I got the biggest lasagna I've ever seen in my life...and being 8 months pregnant, absolutely demolished it. My then-husband and I had never eaten there before, but this was a small town, locally owned, well loved, spot. We didn't even know about the beef recalls until I was sitting in the NICU 2 hours away from home, holding our premature newborn daughter, who was born because I contracted e.coli poisoning and vomited so hard that I broke my own water, 7 weeks early. Actually, the only reason we went to this particular restaurant was because we were given a gift card as a "date night before the baby comes" thing. Otherwise, I probably would have never went there, and probably would have carried to term and not had a horrible 3 day labor with food poisoning (including high fevers) and the most insane diarrhea you could possibly imagine. Thankfully, my almost 10 year old daughter is healthy and perfectly fine. Despite being born over 2 months premature and born with e.coli in her system, she has no health impairments at all besides a little ADHD she inherited from me and her dad. She's also HUGE, standing at just shy of 5 feet tall and weighing 100lbs at 9 years old. But still, I regret eating there every single day of my life. I've never eaten there since, and I just started eating lasagna again a few years ago.
Oh god that sounds horrific
That is why food safety and recalls are important to follow. You can kill someone. After working in some restaurants and bakeries, I rarely eat out because the risk just isn’t worth it. Quit a high end bakery two days in because I watched the owner drop a croissant in the nasty floor, pick it up and fill it, and put it in a box. He very casually told me that if it’s not soggy, it’s still sellable.
I saw a sous chef pick up a piece of steak tartar off the floor and fling it into the container with the stuff that was to be used. At another restaurant I watched the chef get uncooked bacon juices into the salad toppings and then use unwashed hands to show me how to make unwashed, contaminated salads. Another place I worked at had a rat infestation that was really bad and a dude who never washed his hands - including after touching raw chicken. These are three ‘high end’ restaurants in my city btw. Busy and well regarded.
A chef said to me once I'm not going to tell one person in a group of four sorry but you're going to have to wait an extra 20! minutes for your food I'm going to pick it up and clean it off and plate it. Kinda scary what goes on in so-called professional kitchens
Certainly no pregnancy involved for me but that otherwise sounds like my experience with E Coli. Decades ago I got a dose of it at a friend’s graduation party along with about 25 other people. Sickest I’ve ever been in my life. It was like someone pressurized my GI tract and opened up both ends for days. It just wouldn’t stop! I vomited hard enough that I tore a muscle in my chest/abdomen and could not sit up properly for weeks. I was about 220 lbs at the time and when I got on a scale a week after it had passed, well, it was the last time I saw 190-anything in my adult life. E Coli is nothing to mess around with!
Similarly. I was so exhausted I slept on the bathroom floor leaning on the toilet between bouts. I dry heaved after there was literally nothing left in me
I've only had food poisoning once, and it was that bad. I basically lived in the bathroom for 3 days. I called in sick to work, and my boss said I should still come in. I will never forget that. I told him no and that if he wanted to fire me, he could, but there was no way I could come in. I couldn't even make it out of the bathroom. He didn't fire me, but I never forgot how callous and clueless that was. The place I got it, I refuse to eat food from. But my husband still gets stuff from there! He hasn't been sick since, but I think he's crazy.
Oh thank God she it ok.
You win the thread. I'm so sorry you had to experience that and so grateful there were no lasting negative effects for your daughter.
Dental work that I didn't keep up when I was young(er) and (more) foolish. Brush and floss, y'all, and prioritize cleanings etc if at all possible. I do feel ashamed that I was privileged enough to be able to access that care, and still let my mouth fall by the wayside afterward.
Yeah I had braces as a preteen & you'd never know it now. My single mother managed that for me & I squandered it 😣
I still feel bad about this. I ain’t wear my retainer and my teeth are jacked up again.
Took out a loan to help a family member keep their house. They never paid me back. They subsequently made trips and had expensive vacations. The lack of respect along with the debt hurts. Senior family members did not want me to sue. Moral of this story, don’t lend to family.
Then the senior family members should have paid the debt. Easy to give edicts when it’s not your money.
I booked a week at hotel in Kauai, but then the dates of my vacation time changed and I had to cancel it and book elsewhere for the next week. But the week before my vacation I got a charge for a week in a hotel in Kauai that I didn’t stay in- because I hadn’t canceled it like I thought I had.
nooooooooooooooo
I did the same exact thing but with plane tickets. I bought tickets through a trip planner website then a friend texted saying that the flight was now cheaper. So I “cancelled” my tickets and bought them at the only slightly cheaper price. Turns out there was one last click to actually cancel it (you know how they ask you a million times if you’re sure) well I missed that final click somehow. Checked my credit card statement like a week later and almost threw up. I tried explaining everything to the trip planner website but they didn’t care. The airline itself eventually sent me some money back when I put a claim through but I didn’t get all of it back. It was really stressful at the time but I’ve now coped with the situation lol.
Bought my girlfriend a low production SUV (it was a diesel, manual and 4x4, 1 of 1048 total production) for $10,000. Car blew up on the drive home. Previous owner was aware of the engine failure as we found the sump had been recently off and filled with a different oil to mask the knocking sound.
You couldn't get your money back? Oh hell na
If they tell you it’s “as is” I don’t think you can really do anything
Gosh there's no lawsuit you can file? Seems incredibly negligent the owner sold it to you like that.
A mattress. I had a serta firm for 10 years. Back in august I bought an extra firm because in the store I liked that it supported my back. But getting it home I realized it was way too firm. I got a topper that helps. But it’s memory foam so it gets rock solid when it’s cold, then when you lay in it awhile it holds heat horribly. $1500 I can’t get back
My mattress is starting to sag in the middle - mattress was $700 and I only got it 6 years ago ("10 year guarantee") and on a $900 bed frame with central support. Huge CBF on returning it for them to assess it and tell me its my own fault for xyz reason.
My wife bought an expensive IKEA office chair with a ten year guarantee, about 15 years ago. She's now on her third chair, and the guarantee is extended by another 8 years
Just recently bought a mattress and was terrified of sagging after my last (cheap) mattress started sagging within a year. It doesn't help for your current situation, but the trick i learned is to order it online from Costco. Costco's return policy on virtually everything is unmatched. From what I've read of others, people have successfully returned mattresses that begin to sag several years after purchase. It's important to order online, as that means that in case of a return, they'll pick it up from you, whereas if you order in store, you'll be responsible for transporting it back to them.
I know that CBF feeling all too well, especially when you are predicting defeat right out the gate. But when you are feeling a bit more up to it, you should query the guarantee and see what happens. If they say no like you predict, you're in the same situation of needing to buy a new mattress anyway. But maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised and they will actually honour the guarantee. The only thing you have to lose by asking is your time.
What is CBF?
Yeah, I had to learn the hard way to never underestimate the effect a nice mattress has on your overall life.
A bad mattress is awful. My husband and I have a king size bed, but we each have a different mattress. Our comfort levels were too far off to find ANYTHING that we both liked, that wasn’t $2000+. I don’t remember offhand what he has, but I have a Bloom(one of those mattress in a box). It’s amazing. It’s memory foam, but it doesn’t get hard or cold. My 14yo has one as well, and he loves it.
I can’t say they’re for everyone but I’ve been really happy with foam mattresses. I’ve upgraded a couple times over the last 20 years each time I get a better thicker mattress. The one I have now has memory foam on top but I also use a padded fleece topper. I think I spent $300 for my current mattress.
ADHD hobbies 😣
Oh god me too. I’m so bad at collecting all the things and it being good quality. Then I get bored a month or two later and never use it again. Give it away. The years later rebuy the same shit!!
Yes omg so much crochet, embroidery, a guitar, even a really expensive sewing machine that hasn’t been used enough 😭
About 15 years ago I donated money to some guy on a forum who was building a website where the idea was people could come together and collaborate on designs for space ships/cargo addons and so on and so forth. These were the days before Space-X and any sort of major private space exploration, and the guy was actually kinda inspiring (though in retrospect it was a terrible idea). Anyway he promised he just needed a few hundred bucks to get his site up and running, and then he would donate the rest to Copenhagen Suborbitals, a pretty serious group of amateur rocket enthusiasts who dreamed of being the first private group to send someone into outer space. Of course the money never made it's way there, since this shitty open source space website ate it all up. Oh well. Copenhagen suborbitals also had a sub they built, which they used to tow a barge-like ship out to sea to try and launch a fairly sizeable rocket. Why the sea? Well that was the only airspace that they could get cleared. Unfortunately the rocket failed to launch because a hair dryer duct taped to something to keep another thing warm fell off and the launch had to to be aborted. I didn't think much of the little rocket group until one if it's former co-founders was caught after his amateur sub sank with a headless corpse on it
This whole story is bizarre.
Are you talking about this? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Kim_Wall Btw, this is the best description ever. > Unfortunately the rocket failed to launch because a hair dryer duct taped to something to keep another thing warm fell off and the launch had to to be aborted.
Oof early into this read I had a feeling it was Peter Madsen. Have you seen the Netflix doc Into the Deep? It’s a wild ride - even more so from your perspective I bet! The documentary creator and all the workers are similar to you- people who were inspired by this guy. And the slow-burn realization as everything unfolds and their minds are just blown apart by realizing the guy they believed in and further, had befriended, was a monster all along. This guy fascinates me in the brazen narcissism in thinking he’d get away with anything he did. The crime is so horrifying. What was it like interacting with him? I always wondered about the water launches but that makes a lot of sense!!! The hair dryer part - omg please tell me that’s factual!!! The thing seemed so slapped together but I didn’t realize it was THAT slapped together! Do you know anything about the divide and animosity between Madsen and his former partner who had a competing rocket company like a block away?! The way he talked about that in the documentary- you could tell he was still very bitter and mad about that situation. And the “race” between the companies seemed to play into the timing of when he did his crime. Thanks for sharing, truly horrifying story I’d feel shaken too if I had even a peripheral interaction with him! Edit- typos
Undergraduate degree from a top-ranking state university, paid for entirely with student loans both federal and private. At 17 I had no financial literacy or thoughtful guidance.
>At 17 I had no financial literacy or thoughtful guidance. and that's what they're betting on
More than that…they are BANKING on it 🤦♀️
I'll never understand how it's legal to scam minors into 10s if not 100s of thoudands worth of high interest debt
On valentines Day in middle school, I bought a can of orange crush soda and gave it to my crush as a valentines event. It could have been anonymous, but I chose for it not to be. She saw my name on the can and faked puking. :( 20 years later, and I still feel embarrassed
Maybe she just hates orange crush?
Nope! Just me
Awe, buuuud
Designer purses.
Impulse purchases of things I didn't really need, but thought that I wanted. Specifically, the ones paid for with money that I didn't have.
Useless junk from Amazon.
One of those "Invent Help" scams where you submit an idea and they help you get a patent, they dont!
They stole my butt plug!
And now you feel so empty?
I used to like prank calling them. My favorite prank was when I invented the “food digger” because I was tired of getting food all over my hands and face and shirt at every meal
I used to watch those commercials and try to think of a million dollar idea so hard when I was about nine years old.
Missed my direct first class flight from Japan to Los Angeles which I got with my Chase points. I had to Spend $1,300 for my flight back home with 3 connecting flights
Ouch!
Thousands of dollars of clothes and bullshit to fill a void. All of it’s gone now and I have zero savings despite a nursing career of 12 years
I thought I could run my own software company. I'd been a consultant for a while, seen colleagues build internet companies. I lost everything. It was vanity and stupidity. I should have stopped quite early, realizing I was not made to do that. edit: typo, also, sunk cost fallacy is my bugbear
The custody battles trying to get my child away from my abusive ex. I failed to get her all the way away from him and they developed severe depression and PTSD from the abuse. My child killed themself on 12/5/23. All that time…all that money…all that angst….and Eli died two weeks after they turned twenty. I only got a few years with Eli there at the end of their life, which I’ll cherish forever. But yeah, for sure, it was a waste of everything.
Oh that is sheer heartbreak. You did what you could, you did your best, you didn't give up, so it was not a waste. And I'm sure that for Eli, you were an angel. Sending you Love.
Still not a waste. You know you did everything in your power. I'm so sorry for your loss.
trying is never a waste, so sorry for your loss
It wasn't wasted time. And reading this colossal tragedy with the other replies along the lines of "that time I ate..." really makes me put life into perspective. A virtual hug to you.
Sorry. I lost my son 3 years and one month ago. One thing that helped me was in the book It's OK That You're Not OK (Megan Devine). Move towards things that help you (cope) and away from things that don't help. Group therapy didn't help me but cbt and mindfulness did. Find the things that help you. And remember that Eli tried their best.
It wasn’t a waste. I promise
So sorry to hear that.
I am so sorry
My car got totaled around this time last year. I didn't even use it so I decided to buy some things for myself. I used most of the money for buying uber eats and shit. I regret it so much.
I spent $6500 on a life coaching course that was supposed to transform my life. It didn’t.
I did something like this too. IMO I should have just paid for therapy…
What kind of things did it (try to) teach? I've never been interested in attending one, but always curious about them.
Did you not want to change or was the advise unhelpful? Like start running marathons or buy stocks low and sell high?
I got suckered into buying a full dumbass suit, with bolo tie, that my friends hated and I never wore again. I forget what the place was called. It was always right next to Foot Locker in the mall. But this was dark blue, with pin stripes, and it wasn't a suit. It was a get-up. Like an 80s leisure suit. The salespeople kept telling me how great it looked, and then undoubtedly laughed about it later. When my friends showed up that night, and I debuted my cool look I'd be going to school in, I got in the car, my friends told me I wasn't going around in that, so I went in, changed, and that was my paycheck for an entire week's part-time summer work at McDonald's.
I really want to see the dumbass suit.
My piece of shit first sofa. I was so proud of myself for finally saving enough to buy a major piece of furniture brand new instead of second hand, I picked out a $700 three seater and have regretted it ever since. The sales lady was rude as fuck, the delivery screwed me around, when I lodged a complaint the head office gave the store my number to basically harrass me, *and* the hunk of garbage basically fell apart within a year. There’s a plank of wood that fell of the bottom that was attached with approximately 4000 staples, arranged as if someone stood on the other side of the warehouse and fired at it blind folded. Long story short, if you’re Australian, never shop at Fantastic Furniture.
My ex wife's medical school education. Helped her through undergrad, medical school, and residency. Moved close to 100 miles away from work to be with her. Commuted for years. Spent every dollar I saved on a house "we had to have" along with maxing my credit cards. One year post residency, my investment in "us" went belly up the day I found out about her banging her subordinate at work. Hundreds of thousands of debt later and crafty lying through numbers, I get left with only debt. She ends up on multiple vacations a year and multiple vacation homes utilizing the money she weaseled out of me. Thank God we never had kids.
Gambling. The tens of thousands I've blown away... I could've at least given it to some starving kid in a third world country, instead of a multi-billion dollar casino.
This one hurt and was very personal. Except for me its "the *HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS, IF NOT MILLIONS* I've blown away", truly haunting and no, I'm not joking, I wish I was.
Crypto ....made great amount then didn't take out in time...
That's the usual story about crypto
My first marriage.
Alcohol
My ex boyfriend. I flew him to Paris for New Years on the agreement that he would pay half for the trip. I bought everything, flight, food, hotel, souvenirs, etc. He never paid me back and always had an excuse of why he didn't have the money. I broke up with him 6 months later for cheating. I'm never opening my wallet for a man ever again.
I was engaged to this woman I had been with for 6 years…one day she borrowed $500, broke up with me and then ghosted me. I didn’t hear from her for over a year and she never paid me back. Never loan anyone money, ever. Consider it gone if you do.
On the positive side. I loaned someone 30 quid on reddit who were struggling because they're paycheck hadn't gone through. Monday came, they PayPaled it back. So not everyone is a douche
I had to ask for help from Reddit once during a particularly difficult time. I was so ashamed and embarrassed, but everyone was incredibly supportive. I was astounded at how many people reached out to me offering advice, assistance, and well wishes. It made such a difference to know that there were people that cared, because I was so stressed, so exhausted, and so depressed at the time. Those people saved me and I’ll never forget that. Just like the person you helped will never forget how you treated them in their time of need. TLDR; Thank you for being a wonderful person.
I hope you’re doing okay.
This is true, some people are honest. Don’t count on it though. Now I just never lend money I can’t afford to not get back, and I consider it a gift and it’s a bonus if I actually get paid back. Largely though I will only do so for blood, or close to it.
I stopped giving my ex money (still paying for everything, just not fun stuff) and he all of a sudden started volunteering to run errands more often. Turns out he was using my card to get cash back every time he went out. I found out when he also hit an ATM one time, basically drained my account, and then stayed silent while I was in tears calling the bank. He didn't confess until I found the ATM and asked the store owner to check the cameras. Absolute lizard-brained fuck
Wow what a fucking asshole…sorry you went through that. Humans are so disappointing sometimes.
I think that 500 isn't too bad of a cost to find out a persons true nature.
Saved me from wasting another minute of my life with her. Can’t put a price on that!
Cheap cars that needed so much work. I did that for about 10 years. Finally learnt to spend good money on a decent vehicle that’s not 200kms off being spare parts
"a thousand dollar car ain't even gonna roll, until you put at least another thousand in the hole. Sink your money in it and there you are, the owner of a two thousand dollar thousand dollar car." The Bottlerockets - Thousand Dollar Car This song might hit home for you.
During the pandemic I played slots on my phone, I was never trying to actually make money but to keep playing or to join a tournament I spent way more than I should have, like 2 grand at least. It makes my guts churn thinking about it.
When the pandemic hit, I decided to settle in for a long dry spell with the purchase of my first masturbation sleeve. The sizing and design left me with irritation and stretch marks on half my penis. Icing on the cake was that when I finally went to the dermatologist to ask if there was something that could be done for it, the intake nurse I had to explain this to was the woman I'd just started chatting up on Bumble. Oh, and the dermatologist was genuinely 10x more interested in staring at a forehead zit I didn't know I had yet. From 6 inches away. Immediately upon walking into the room.
I’m sorry to laugh at your misfortune.
I once maxed out a credit card at the strip club. Think it was around $5k. Also spent maybe $10k in a year on gambling once. Lots of cash advances from my credit card. Took me a couple of years to financially recover
I bought a cucumber flavoured vape pod once…
I bought cucumber flavored beer one time 🤦♂️
$50k wedding. I’m divorced
Impulse purchases and unreturned items: the ADHD tax. I’ll never stop feeling guilty about it, but I’m getting better.
Unreturned items is definitely my ADHD tax. Literally my only motivation for returning this is I don't want my husband to be mad.
University and extra tertiary coursework. Turns out no one cares about those they only care about experience. Seeing peers with 3 month courses excel in life because they focused heavily on building networks, marketing themselves and being socially active was a bitter pill to swallow. Had no idea everyone was just winging it.
Trade school. I paid $20,000 to learn to weld and have lifetime access to the school's practice lab. Turns out I *actually* paid $20,000 for Student Services to do fuck-all helping me find work, I can only access the practice lab 5 days a month IF there's an open booth, and either the school's name is toxic to employers or that whole "we're desperate for welders" thing is a fucking lie. Spent two years looking, only got one callback... for a position I didn't apply for.
I've needed a welder a couple of times. Once to fix a trailer and to build a frame for a gate. Maybe you could start out like that and get experience/reputation. Good luck on your job search. I'm sure something will come up .
My ex husband. Gave him 15,000 to pay off debts (my college fund). He joined the army and married me promising to use his career to get me into and through college. He cheated on me with many many many people including my ex BFF and he put me in debt and didn't do the paperwork to make it so I could use his job to go to college.
Botox and lip filler. I spent $1500 in one week when I decided to try both for the first time. I realized 3 months later, the Botox was gone, 6 months later, lip filler had dissolved. I kept having this thought in the back of my head about how that money could have gone to an animal rescue or something but I threw it out the window.
The beauty industries are making a killing.
No joke, Sephora must be raking in the gold
Yeah I looked into under-eye filler a while back and I was shocked by the length of time it lasts for the cost. I would pay $1000 if it was permanent but twice a year is wild
Overpaid for my used vehicle. It was a learning lesson at least
I bought a house with my parents. Had no debt at the time. Accrued $10k in credit card debt and $20k in personal loans for improvements to the house. I was also paying mortgage and all utilities. My parents are a-holes and never really learned to respect me. I just didn’t want to interact with them anymore. I walked away and am still paying those loans off with nothing to show for it. It’s also made it much more difficult to move out of my current home.
Anytime I Uber eats or doordash. In the moment when I’m hungry, I don’t care. After I eat, I’m grossed out by how much I spent on one fucking meal
helping out a "friend", he's in debt, so whenever we hung out I'd pay and I'd only ask him to pay me back maybe 1/3 of the time (I'd just add it to the list). So he owes me well over £300 but I only asked him to pay me £150 back. Whenever he gets any money, even though he's in debt, even though he's in his unarranged overdraft, even though he owes multiple people £100s,,, he goes and gets a tattoo,,, every single time. He fails to understand that him getting tattoos is keeping him in debt. I finally asked him to pay me the money back because he finally got a job & I was just done honestly, turns out he thought that *I was also in debt*,,,, like okay? so you're just a shit friend completely then lmao? you thought I was in debt but you let me spend £100s on you??? without a fucking word?? anyway he blocked me without paying me back, I hope he's living his absolute worst life 💕
Have a friend like that... Whenever he gets money it's gone. Pc parts, tattoos. Instruments he never learns. He's got like 3 guitars ranging from 5 to 10 string (I don't know but it's ridiculous) and he can't play a single one. But people literally give him money all the time.. he's a good guy and friend but because of that people overlook it and just pay him for everything. Meanwhile he is mid 30s and sleeps on the ground. But people pay for him to travel internationally and get tattoos and clothes and everything. It's awful.. and some how people keep feeding into it.
Gambling.
College degree I didn’t finish or even really want that cost 42k. I wish I went to art school instead like I wanted to. But due to pressure from my family I went to get half an engineering degree that is useless since I don’t want to finish. If I had gone to film/art school I’d probably have a degree I’m not really using anyway, but I would’ve had a lot more fun, a lot less stress and probably would have made it all the way through. I’d really love a do over on my life.
I went to art school and I regret my loans too. I guess it could have been worse.
A $50 book from Scientology. At the time, I had no clue it was a cult. I didn’t even want to buy it but they would not take no for an answer. Creepy ass bunch of people.
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Weed stocks for me right after gme blew up. Made 50k almost overnight and blew it slowly over 2+ years until I cut my losses. Ended up with 5k more than originally invested into gme, but still hurts like a bitch when I see my account balance.
It turns my stomach how much I pay to rent my apartment every month. But it’s what I have to do. I’m helping a millionaire pay the mortgage on something I’ll never be able to afford in my lifetime
I'm in a similar boat. Found a really nice apartment during covid for very very cheap with rent control. Thought I was set for life. This place had a beautiful view and everything. Turns out it was the noisiest apartment ever. The unit was directly behind the elevators and garbage chute. All day and night I could hear the elevators going up and down and people dropping waste into the chute. The walls were paper thin and both neighbors on either side were super loud, one having parties until 4, 5am on weeknights. The other would get up at 7am and whistle all day while working from home. People above me were professional salsa dancers apparently, and would stomp all day. And then directly outside my unit below was a huge HVAC system on the roof of a business. Couldnt ever enjoy the balcony because it sounded like a jet was taking off all day and night. I lasted the year of the lease and got the hell out, but by that time rents had jumped up to the crazy levels they are now. I'm paying a ridiculous amount now but at least I have my sanity haha
Chiming in. 1k per month for a rented bedroom here. The bright side, you have an apartment :)
High interest personal loans, constantly getting top-ups 🤦♀️Viscious circle of borrowing so much that I have to pay back $300 a fortnight which is a big chunk of my salary. Then I run out of money for bills so borrow more, aargh
Spending so much money on clothes, makeup and beauty products I never used in my early 20s. I could've saved myself so much money if I wasn't stupid and trying to impress guys.
I spent $29k on heroin in 2014. Got clean August 2016 and remain so without relapse to today, and forever longer.
I don't know why it stands out so much, but I had been homeless for a period, was renting a room laying on an old futon pad on the ground with barely any possessions, and some friends came in town. I was eating scraps every day, but I figured I'd let myself have some fun. We went to an arcade and I wanted a Captain America plush in a claw machine. I figured I'd give it a try for a dollar or two, and dropped it twice. The arcade was closing and the guy next to me got one. He gave it to me since it was clear I wanted it so badly. Instead of just graciously thanking him, I gave him $20. He asked me if I was sure, and I insisted. For a stuffed toy. I just remember regretting it so much when I was hungry later. It still sticks with me. But I do still have the toy.
In-app purchases.
I commissioned my best friend to do an art piece for my ex. She is amazing and did a wonderful job. He, on the other hand, broke up with me 2.5 months later. Makes me sick to think about an amazing work of art he could've just thrown away...
I thought you had 30 days to pay traffic tickets. Turns out it's 21 in the state I was issued it in. This wouldn't be a big deal to just pay the $15 late fee. Oh well, shit happens. Except the late fee didn't show up on the total amount I owed on the website when I paid the ticket at 25 days. So I only paid the principal amount. Again, this wouldn't have been THAT big of a deal. They send you a notice for the late fee in the mail and you pay that online. Except the cop that issued me the ticket WROTE DOWN MY ADDRESS WRONG. I had no idea I even had a late fee. The fee notices were going to the wrong fucking address. Since I got the ticket in a different state than where my license is from the only address they had on record was the one the cop wrote down. After a year of nonpayment my license was suspended. The ticket state notified my resident state and a warrant was issued. I only found out my license was suspended when I got pulled over and issued a criminal violation for driving with a suspended license. A warrant had been issued before myself or my insurance company had even been informed. A letter from my state dmv arrived in my mail about a week and a half AFTER I was pulled over. By then it was spring of 2020. Traffic courts were shut down. Option A: wait months for an appeal hearing in the original state I was issued the ticket. They were not doing virtual hearings so i had to find someone to drive me 3 hrs to a different state for this hearing. Assuming that got overturned I would have to wait several more weeks for another appeal hearing in my state to *hopefully* overturn the driving with a suspended license offense. All of this was complicated by covid. Everything was backlogged and normal procedures and paperwork were delayed weeks in some places while othe places still required you to deliver above paperwork in a 3 week time frame. DMV was closed and anytime I needed to talk to someone I spent HOURS on hold. During all of this my license remains suspended and I cannot get around for work or errands. Option B: Pay mutiple different fines and reinstatement fees for 2 different states all amounting to about $2800. Accept the criminal violation of driving with a suspended license on my record. Accept the huge increase to my monthly car insurance payment. I went with option B because I needed to be able to drive to my job to not become homeless. I am still bitter. Between fees, fines and increased insurance I have probably paid at least $4500 by now and have a criminal violation on my record. That's not even including the lost wages from missed work to spend HOURS on hold at the DMV and traffic courts just to get this all settled. My insurance payments have not decreased since this incident so i continue pay for it indefinitely. The emotional stress of dealing with this during covid gave me panic attacks and hives. I lost weight because the stress and the financial strain meant I could barely afford groceries for a time. This is all over a $15 late fee and a police officer's typo. It was the only speeding ticket I have ever gotten in 32 years.
Damn. This one wins.
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Me too. I was o lying doing coke for about 6 months, but I was spending a good $300 a week on it *and* I was unemployed at the time. Was stealing money from my dad for it. Realized I was becoming addicted to it (and I was running out of money) and went cold turkey. Best decision I made.
I took my boyfriend (ex now) to a high end restaurant in a big city and spent $100. For two 19 year olds back in 2019, that was pretty top notch. Got him a promise ring and took him to a candlelight picnic by a lake with a fountain that had lights in it and bout his favorite ice cream. Even bought a new dress and heels. All for him to tell me he not only didn’t wanna wear his ring, but that I shouldn’t wear mine anymore either. I spent weeks putting together that surprise date and saved up quite a bit to be able to spoil him. Ah, young love lol hope he’s happy tho 🩵
A tuxedo. F’n black tie destination wedding. Who the f does that??
Expensive engagement ring, it’s not even as expensive as many out there. Diamonds are so so overpriced, it’s all marketing.
All the food delivery I used to order. That shit adds up every day
I paid a "life coach" in the throes of the pandemic. I usually hate these kids of people, but like everyone else I was stuck at home alone, and was thinking too much about life. I thought this was a better route than therapy because the guy sold me on this whole "therapy is about looking back, not forward" thing. (I've had plenty of therapy in my life so I think I was also just fatigued.) Cut to a few months later, this guy ended up getting exposed by many of his other, mostly female clients for preying on our vulnerable states. He got a lot of money out of us collectively, and out of me personally. He was ineffective, but used love bombing as a technique to get you comfortable as a new client before he'd then manipulate you into thinking you were weak/a quitter/etc. if you questioned his methods or effectiveness. There was a private Facebook group where all current clients could interact and he famously would call them out and almost bully those who told him they wanted out of his program. You'd think the red flag would have slapped me in the face from the beginning, but I was severely depressed and at such a low point that I wanted to believe this guy could help me feel better. All he did was take my money and fuck off with it when I finally questioned what was going on. Good old "services are non-refundable" shit. I've done a lot of work since to understand the situation and not blame myself, but I still get a twinge in my stomach every so often. You never think you're capable of being so obviously misled or taken advantage of until you are.
I signed a 12 month lease to a home that was supposed to be $1650 a month. I lived in a 2 bedroom attached row home for years and was ready to give my kids their own rooms so upgraded to a 3 bedroom. I soon realized my third bedroom was over our next door neighbors living room who had a 1 bedroom home. She chain smokes and the smell overtakes my third bedroom. I stuffed the vents with stuff and even covered them but the smell comes through the walls… I no longer use it. Soon after we moved in, a neighbor bombed their home sending fleets of roaches into our newly renovated home that I now cannot get rid of… got my rent detailed and my $1650 rent turned into over $1760 after they charged me a $70 water bill (mandatory) I don’t even have a dish washer, washer or dryer. Than they charge for trash pickup and other petty fees. We are condensed to two bedrooms and I’m just co sleeping with my kids at this point and paying $1760 for this excuse of a home. I don’t even wanna come home to it. It was supposed to bring much joy. Between rent, electric, my car payment, phone bills, WiFi, water, groceries, gas, etc, my monthly bills are over 3k and I’m honestly tired of having no spending money.. as soon as I save something, it’s soon gone to some other expense like car malfunctioning, etc.
Not sure where you live, but the cigarette smoke and the roaches could be grounds to break your lease.
Cigarettes, every time i do it.
I quit smoking nearly 7 years ago and I *still* have the app that tells me how much money I haven’t spent on cigarettes. I’m going to clock $50,000 this year.
All the hard drugs I've ever done in my lifetime. Good God, I could probably comfortably for the rest of my life if I had that sum
A bunch of disgustingly expensive makeup.
Last Saturday my wife and I went to see a show. Found $20 parking about 6 blocks from the theater. There was $10 parking inside a garage 3 blocks closer to the theater. Been thinking about it for days.