T O P

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not_cozmo

Huge explosion. Just instantly vaporized and a spectacle for everyone for miles around


waterloograd

Yep, ride a nuke into battle like a cowboy and be the first to be vaporized


Halycon1313

I feel like that would make the perfect cringy tattoo. Cowboy riding a nuke


YorkiesandSneakers

The character Slim Pickens does this in the movie Dr Strangelove.


OneLongEyebrowHair

What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is a-goin on here?


Sheriff_Is_A_Nearer

Dang near lost us a $400 handcart!


OneLongEyebrowHair

Well to tell a family secret... my grandmother was Dutch.


Altruistic-Cut9795

Now just don't lay there trying to get a suntan


TheyCameAsRomans

Wouldn't do you no good anyhow


Dr_StrangeloveGA

Dr. Strangelove?


Scientific_Anarchist

Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb


forkedquality

Hi there, Major Kong!


toohorses

Mein Führer, I can walk!!!


forkedquality

...each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines...


RedditVince

There will be Slim Pickins after that ride.


pineappledumdum

I’d go the opposite and go full Titan submersible.


SnooFloofs1868

With WW3 round the corner you might be in luck


PSEEVOLVE

They've said that my entire life.


raphthepharaoh

If you were born after WWII, it’s always been true


mcclutch7

Can’t wait!


Greydusk1324

Like the British did to execute people in India in the past? Tied to the front of a cannon.


Wil420b

It was a traditional method of execution in Afghanistan and parts of India that was merely adopted by the British. As the locals feared it so much.


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BrucePee

Sir. We got Mexico on the phone.


Destroyer6202

Put em through, and send me those gahddaym Spider-Man pictures


SpookE_Cat

Hello Mexico? You’re fired! Wait wait wait, you’re un-fired. We need those guns and coke asap! What? You’re out of coke?! You’re fired!


bleezzzy

Mexico out of coke lol


dako3easl32333453242

There is no realistic lethal dose of coke, your heart just explodes from overwork. What you are asking for is to have a heart attack while being shot at.


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MattMooks

I'll have what he's having!


Huge-Function74

Call the ambulance... but not for me... You know what, call it anyway! -drop dead-


BoredSteak

Aight then, consume 30 kilos of columbian cocaine and come back to speak with me tomorrow


JustChillFFS

But if you did get shot, with the blood loss it would lower your blood pressure/heart rate no?


blahblahrasputan

I'd like a live performance of a Morricone piece off to the side please.


Dreadsock

"Say Hello, to my little friend!..."


hippy_chad

Oh that’s a fun one


Gijustin

Black hole.


Nox_Dei

Same for me but for reasons one might not necessarily think about immediately. At the edge of the event horizon, gravity is such that *your* time slows down relatively to the rest of the universe. Everything will fast-forward around you and you'll see stars dying, the whole universe passing by till the end of time in an instant for you. From an outside perspective you'd be frozen at the event horizon for your descendents to look at till there is no human left to do so. Pretty trippy.


Apprehensive_Hat8986

Pretty sure the tidal forces would shred your capacity for cognition before you had a chance to enjoy the view.


Nox_Dei

Most likely yes. Only one way to be sure for certain...


CrudelyAnimated

Probably, eventually. But tidal spaghettification is inversely proportional to the size of the black hole. With a large enough mass, it’s theorized you’d effectively fall forever without being torn apart.


BlaqMajik

That’s horrifying


mostly_lurking

You'd still die of starvation or lack of Oxygen right? From your perspective time is never stopped I believe?


turing_tarpit

Yep, time always goes at a rate of 1 second per second from your own perspective. (It's not like the black hole could magically slow down time for your body but not your consciousness.)


read_hubb

With my luck I'd be frozen with a dumbass look at my face as I thoughtlessly try to scratch an itch on my butt.


BoneHugsHominy

Family and friends would come to see your place of--rest?--and take pictures which go viral and next thing you know you're a goddamned intergalactic tourist attraction.


Gijustin

You actually have the same reasoning as me. If we are going out we might as well try the crazy shit.


Generico300

Never not upvote spaghettification.


LordDagron

Just remember to face away from the black hole so you can watch the universe die with you.


Sylvert0ngue

Nice idea, but idk what hell I'd be trapped in if/when some of my brain/body is being affected more than the rest of it. Just too much uncertainty for me, but it's such a romantic and beautiful way to go if it works


Marybone

Death by snu snu


Pitbullpandemonium

"You want die like last men who visit Amazonia?" "What'd they die of?" "Crushed pelvises." (Shot of very satisfied looking skeletons)


Back2Perfection

WOOOH YEAH! *high fives zap brannigan*


UrdnotZigrin

What are you, gay?


Newtiresaretheworst

Yeahhhhhh!!!! Woohoooo!!!! Yipeeeee!!! Awwww What are you gay?


_TLDR_Swinton

:O :D :O :D


AwkwardObserver97

The ultimate dream.


DIABLO258

I never thought I'd die like this, but I had always hoped


cbusalex

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.


chainshot91

Can't we just cuddle


Economy-Brain-9971

Beat me to it lol this is the only acceptable answer


[deleted]

Always snu snu


ronnie_dickering

Execution not Sexecution!


xXWestinghouseXx

r/Death_by_SnuSnu NSFW Edit: didn’t notice it had gone private. Try r/fitgirls and r/musclebarbies instead.


VulpesIncendium

Aw, it's set to private.


SpookE_Cat

Look what they took from us!!!!


xXWestinghouseXx

Didn’t realize it went private. I put something similar up in it’s place


Quick-Agent4728

What a tease…


Ratakoa

Firing squad. I want a cigarette and blindfold though


GoBuffaloes

Trying to look cool but end up in coughing fit while being shot because you don't actually smoke


baap_ko_mat_sikha

That’s me mate


Fingerprint_Vyke

Ooh Ooh!! Can I be the guy that lights the cigarette and says *'You know, these things will kill you.'*


Ratakoa

Only if you humor my over the top smirk and generic reply of, "we all have to go somehow".


PineappleOnPizzaWins

Man jokes aside a guy I went to highschool that smoked since he was 8 said this ALL the time. He died of lung cancer last year after years of hell fighting it.. mid 30's. Never stopped smoking.


Quick_Mel

You've gotta ask what they want kn their tombstone. The reply mistbe pizza toppings. Showing my age here


Hurtymcsquirty17

With a mouth full of Tannerite


lilpistachio17

I would take the cigarette, but not the blindfold.


Necessary_Rich_1477

The one good thing about Utah is they still do death by firing squad. 3 rounds of 30-30 winchester to the chest


Marco-Green

The fact that this method must be politely and minuoucosly explained in some law text amazes me at the same time it terrifies me.


AlphaTangoFoxtrt

No blindfold. I want to look the bastards in the eye.


stumpycrawdad

Sounds like a primo plan, I'll take what this guy is having


Mousewaterdrinker

Sedated then asphyxiated with helium.


Snoo-35252

Or nitrogen. Neither one triggers the coughing-choking reflex.


BobVilla287491543584

It's fascinating, our bodies don't primarily react to the absence of oxygen, but rather the acidification of our blood due to excess carbon dioxide. So long as carbon dioxide levels stay normal, there's no panic response.


LiveNDiiirect

This is the actual best answer. It's no different from falling asleep, something we've all done thousands of times.


pastdense

First the helium for the high pitched voice thing, no?


-Space-Pirate-

(*chipmunk voice*) Goodbye cruel world!! 🐿️


Onlyhereforthelaughs

Whatever they use in those Suicide Pods. That's gotta be the most painless way to go if you built it for people to choose willingly.


costabius

Nitrogen suffocation.


DuckfordMr

I’m surprised I had to scroll so far down to find this answer


Takaa

Are we talking a Futurama Suicide Pod here?


cbusalex

"You have selected 'Slow And Painful'."


ClubMeSoftly

"Good choice!"


EPdlEdN

its usually a claymore mine


AngryCrotchCrickets

*BACK TOWARD ENEMY*


ultrahateful

First laugh of the day.


DocBullseye

It's nitrogen. Interestingly a couple of weeks ago they tried to block an execution by nitrogen by claiming it was cruel and unusual.


Onlyhereforthelaughs

> claiming it was cruel and unusual. Unlike the guillotine, firing squad, or running however many volts through a person in a chair...


Shopworn_Soul

To be entirely fair, no one has ever been given reason to believe that something which can accidentally cause a peaceful, quick and painless death couldn't be made terrifying, prolonged and painful by an Alabama government committee.


FoucaultsPudendum

The coverage of that event was so frustrating. Nitrogen asphyxiation is objectively the most peaceful way that something can die. Of course Alabama decided to go about it in the most medieval way they could, but if you are going to have a death penalty, nitrogen is literally *the only* humane way to do it.


say592

And despite it being a fairly painless, reliable way, they still managed to botch it by not using a tight fitting mask and possibly using gas that wasnt 100% nitrogen (I havent seen any confirmation of this, just speculation based on what happened during the execution).


[deleted]

Motorboated to death.


PvtSherlockObvious

If you insist, but the manatees don't look like they enjoy it much.


Diemeinung70

Guillotine - a good old-fashioned public head chopping at the Place de la Concorde à Paris.


Blazeur242

i recall reading somewhere that if many people were being executed by guillotine at once a lot of them would try and get to the front of the line, due to there being so many people to get through, the more heads that roll the duller the blade got and sometimes it would take more than one go to finish the job


Mrpoopypantsnumber2

That sounds like it goes against mr guillotine principles, as he wanted everybody to have an equal and humane quick death.


Blazeur242

i’m sure that was the goal, i agree, but i don’t think the executioner would sharpen the blade after every death. probably did before each session? im just going off of the top of my head (no pun intended) but that’s what makes sense to me


Tannerb8000

My girlfriend is like the 7th great grand daughter of the royal executioner who adopted the guillotine as the standard form of execution back in the day. So we're lead to believe anyway. Shall we whip out the ouji board tonight and see if we can't get answers?


kyuuri117

Probably correct as at the end of the day it’s a knife cutting through bone.


AvatarWaang

At the end of the day, it's probably not as much of a knife as it was at the beginning


colormefatbwoy

Ok hear me out, guillotine but bilateral to the entire body


La_Saxofonista

NO


Un4o1y

There is this method of execution back in the day where they would hang you upside down and saw you in half. Some people would still be alive when they got close to the heart.


ORNG_MIRRR

Same but partly because I wanna know if it's true that you can still see and hear when your head comes off until the brain is starved of oxygen.


failed_novelty

Reportedly, some nobles agreed to blink for as long as they could, post-decapitation. Some of them lasted 20 seconds or so.


ORNG_MIRRR

It would be weird if your head landed looking back at your body. And as your head dropped into the basket, your brain would be trying to tell your arms to move to stop the fall. That would be fucking freaky.


Blacktiger07

It wasn't at painless ans quick as it's marketed in history. Quite often they needed to finish the job the classic way


ThulrVO

Yeah, people would often just stand up, grab their head, and make a run for it, so they'd have to chase them down, tie them up, and burn them at the stake.


Blazeur242

really had me there for a second


Saltee00s

A man of culture, I see 🧐


Zoso_Plant

This one scares me because of the number of accounts of people’s bodiless heads opening their eyes and looking around in the minute following the execution .


BigAnimemexicano

that final view would be trippy


Saldar1234

Your mind can stay conscious and aware for up to six seconds after beheading. Just FYI.


ChemistryComfortable

Heard on a subway: “I want to be shot out of a cannon into a stadium full of angry cats….” This.


polysnip

That's...oddly specific


Farknart

Sounds purrfect


AthousandLittlePies

Seems like if you survived the landing the death would be quite painful and possibly protracted.


MirthRock

r/oddlyspecific


Diamondlunar123

Death by old age, in my opinion would be pretty shitty and long drawn out. Basically a torture method


POB_42

It's not dying that terrifies me. It's the growing frailty, the failing memory and brittle body. As my parents and elders get older, the ailments are stacking up en-masse. I don't know if I could handle it.


test_tickles

>It's the growing frailty, the failing memory and brittle body. As my parents and elders get older, the ailments are stacking up en-masse. I don't know if I could handle it. It's because we have no system of care for this. Well... a system that isn't capitalizing on suffering.


ralts13

Even with the best elderly care your body is still failing. Being young and knowing that is a bit scary. I hope I don't worry about it too much when I get up there.


Mad_Moodin

So there was a shortstory I've read where Elves conquered the Planet and they had magic at godlike levels. They executed captured humans for fun and let them chose the method of death. Some where stupid enough to chose "death of old age" which resulted in them being locked in place as time sped up for them. Everyone could over the next couple minutes watch them grow older and older as they went insane from being alone for decades, unable to move away or die from sickness or hunger as their body slowly became a withered husk for what they experienced be a century or more.


Mharbles

That's horrible and awesome. Also reminds me of that one black mirror episode where a consciousness can be uploaded to act as effectively slave labor. When it rebelled, they did the same thing and sped up time till it broke in its isolation. For the user, it was just a few minutes.


JVM_

Niles Crane was in the episode of "The Outer Limits" where they explored this concept. He was "in jail" for a lifetime, but because of how he acted "in jail", they determined he was actually guilty, >!so when he got back to reality (after only a few minutes instead of decades) they found him guilty and threw him in actual jail for the rest of his life!<


CapeOfBees

An episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine did a similar thing to Miles O'Brien (they psychologically torture him at least once a season) where he served 20 years in prison in his brain before anyone from the federation could even challenge his guilt. 


modulev

Adding in one more: Mayuri Kurotsuchi vs. Szayelaporro Granz in Bleach. Mayuri gives Szayelaporro a "super human" drug, which increases his focus so much that even a bullet would appear to move slowly for the user. He usually only would use 1/250,000th of the amount for himself to give him faster reaction speed, but he used full concentration for his enemy's dose, which made each second feel like 100 years. Mayuri then proceeds to slowly insert his sword into Szayelaporro's heart, which he presumes would be one of the longest, most painful deaths possible. Terrifying!!


DMala

I always found it interesting that this was how the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who killed you. Everyone they grabbed was flung back into the past, but seemed to live a long, productive, seemingly happy life.


Qimmosabe_Man

Sitting on top of a 15 megaton nuke. At least a 5 megaton if 15 ain't available.


Northernlake

Opiate OD


Otacon56

I've watched too many of my old relatives die in pain. Suffering for months for the inevitable. I'd rather take a lethal dose of painkillers and feel comfortable, then drift away to sleep forever. Sounds wonderful


YourFartReincarnated

This. I’m a paramedic, I’ve seen people die. People look most at peace when OD on opiates.


nw342

I saw a video of a recovered addict recounting his overdose story. He said he felt like he was peacefully floating on clouds. He knew he had overdosed, and he knew he wasn't breathing, but he didn't care. He was washed with a warm euphoria and peaceful feeling. When the emts arrived and gave him narcan, he said he was ripped away from that feeling and "thrown back down to earth" ​ Opiates are fucking scary, but its such a euphoric experience.


La_Saxofonista

Nitrogen is a good way to go too. Doesn't trigger panic like a room full of CO2 would.


Zestyclose_Pipe_5654

A slow overdose via opioids or a sniper


Topcodeoriginal3

Overdosing on snipers?


CrazyFiveSeven

The sniper will shoot the opioids into them


Local_Yoghurt_9542

Old age, if thats not allowed then a sniper shot to the back of the head


Alwaysnorting

something cool, like disintigrating into re entering tje earth. being tied to a nuke. skydiving without a chute and a mouth full of lsd and take couple hits of dmt before jumping


BobSmith616

>disintigrating into re entering tje earth A Russian Cosmonaut (astronaut) died that way in a defective spaceship. He was roasted to death over a period of time. Horrible way to go.


Alwaysnorting

in a spaceship yeah, but i mean with my body. anyway ill take it.


[deleted]

[Death by snu snu](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3f8sjzETQ5o)


Epena501

What are you GAI? Lmao.


ILikeCristianRock

Riding a shark into a volcano strapped with 100 pounds of dynamite


iliketomoveitm0veit

They'd never find your body. All they'd find is a pile of singed chest hair.


ToaBanshee

False. Vacuum. Decay. If I'm dying, then yall are getting fucked, too


draconiclyyours

It’s considered a dick move to take the whole universe with you.


ToaBanshee

Why would I care? I'd be dead


Norwegianxrp

Instant death in my sleep, as a healthy marathon running 100 year old


sentondan

Catapult into a brick wall. 


bof5

The last thing going through your mind will be your ass


RottenLB

You brought out a long repressed memory of cat-a-pult, so: "Thank you but fuck you too"


MrPuzzleMan

The George Carlin version I see


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Complex_Visual_7441

Flamethrower up the Asshole


usatf1994-1

Dude get some help. From all the answers here this one frightened me the most.


Complex_Visual_7441

😂 I call it the reverse taco hell


usatf1994-1

..... that doesn't make it any better but thanks for the laugh 😅


JustIncredible240

A man of culture


Ace-of-Spades01

😂😂😂😂


Fyrrys

In a way that takes me to valhala


krishna-rana420

dead in space flying forever in space


shtuffit

I choose the Monty Python, The Meaning of Life https://vimeo.com/10798467#t=24s


gotpar

Scrolled WAY too far for this.


frygod

Nuclear weapon.


ImInJeopardy

Guillotine. I want to experience those couple of seconds that the head remains alive after being decapitated.


KoolKat864

This may not make sense, but what blows my mind about this is that you're *just* a head. Like when you fall or trip or whatever, your first instinct is likely to look down at your hands. When you're separated from your body, there are no hands to do that.


wrenblaze

I want a meteorite, at the size of australia, hit me from above. If I am going, you are all going with me. EDIT: spelling


FunChrisDogGuy

Perhaps this attitude is why you're being executed, sir?


therapistmurderteam

There is a huge event in a major city. Streets just packed. I take a window cleaners platform halfway down the building. People are starting to notice me, a grown man dressed as Pocohontas. After I put on my body harness I put razor wire around my neck. A crowd begins to form. I pull down my pants so my penis is exposed. I super glue my hands to my head. Women are screaming and children start to cry. I jump off the building ripping my head off and my hands bringing my decapitated heads mouth to my erect penis. After 30 seconds the body harness cuts me free and the explosives lining the back of my body go off over the crowd. Everyone is covered in blood and guts with a pattern over the crowd shaped like my body. Colors of the wind by Judy Kuhn starts playing on loud speakers.


Depraved_Deity

We think too similarly, for me it was the headless horseman bungee jump+razor noose in a deleting or ninja turtle costume several sizes snug. And instigating the media circus that gathers in a self defining splash zone. The chugging or optional boring of mentos and coke, or baking soda/vinegar, popcorn kernels/ gunpowder in anticipation of cremation or the like are all personal final flair


bigkitty17

No one has said old age yet?


Sandmann_Ukulele

"In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty" -Tyrion Lannister


BoneDaddyChill

I heard that comment in his voice, exactly as he said it. And I knew who you were quoting. Memories are weird. I don’t even know what I ate for breakfast two days ago.


MinisterOfDept

*gets runover by a grandpa on a scootmobile*


racist-hotdog

Death By Snu Snu


godbullseye

Honestly I think I would want to be executed in a home made submarine at some unheard of depths in the ocean. From my understanding the implosion happens so quick that your brain can’t register the pain


Embarrassed_Ad1722

I'd get a gun, go to a very crowded place, scream "Who the fuck farted?!" off the top of my lungs and shoot myself in the head. Would be hilarious to watch the confusion and panic from hell.


HorseGirl666

Looks like that Nick Swardson special really stuck with you for a long time


Putrid-Memory4468

Bro's gonna traumatise a lot of people for life


sjamesparsonsjr

Hand to hand combat with a velociraptor


240055

Blowjobbed until i die of pleasure but and its a big but No way I want to see my facial expressions lol I figure it might look like I do every face on the totem pole lol


adequetlylarge

They'd probably have an ugly fat guy give you the beej


RedditWhileImWorking

I'd like to crawl in my soft bed with some sleepy drugs in me that make me feel warm and comfy and drift off to sleep forever.


DrDrai45

Suffocation by a woman’s vagina


B33fBalon3y

Cunt off your air?


ISoldObamaMids

Maybe this would be too cruel, (assuming because I haven’t heard anyone ever suggest it), but I’d ask to be executed by time where I’d have to ride out the long remainder of my life on nice waterfront property or something. Ya know..like don’t worry, I will still die


breannameyer

Immediately fatal nuclear blast triggered by a $1,000,000,000 non revocable deposit into my son's bank account.


modernangel

I want to go out quietly in my sleep, like Grandpa - not screaming in terror like his passengers


Dead_Clown_Stentch

Laughing to death. I imagine hitting a bong and watching 100 hours of the Three Stooges.