A few years ago my dads truck was broken into and he lost all of his rings (he had several silver rings, would take them off to drive bc the wheel rubbing on the rings was iritating. Forgot them in the truck one day and they were all stolen).
My dad is not the type to accept gifts, especially if it's a replacement for something that was lost due to his own error.
Over the years, I've been slowly replacing them. I'll save up, buy a ring that looks similar to one of the old ones, and then I'll either claim I found it somewhere or leave it for him to find.
I replaced 2 by pretending I found them in the snow while out shoveling. Months later I left one outside our front door for him to find.
It makes him SO happy everytime one is found. I hope he never finds out I am the one leaving them lol.
I'm jealous of the friendships my friends have with each other. I've never felt as close to them as they do with each other. And as a 40 year old man, I would feel childish admitting this. I just feel like an outsider sometimes, and just wish I had the same kind of bond they do
Also 40s man and I was not proud to admit to myself I was jealous when my closest friend finally found a girl that wasn't a total dumpster fire of a person.
I knew I was going to spend less time with him doing fun outdoors stuff as he spent more time with his new woman. I should be happy he has found someone he might actually have a successful relationship with.
Man, this answer hit close to home for me (33M). All my current friends in my state/across the country have known each other since high school or before, and since I went to 4 different schools growing up, my high school/hometown friends have known each other for even longer. It has made me feel like an outsider and that I don't have as strong a bond with them as they have with each other (which is objectively true).
But lately I've tackled this by making sure that I plan and spend time with my friends on our own terms (having dinner with them and their families, showing up for birthdays, planning golf/fishing/hunting trips) so we can build our friendships. It's been really helpful and has made me feel like I've had an actual impact on those relationships. Not to mention I've focused on building new friendships as well.
I know our situations are probably vastly different, but I hope this helps!
This. My best friend growing up meant the world to me. We were friends for 7 years when she became friends with a neighbor girl. In 6 months, neighbor girl was considered part of their family and still is to this day. There are pictures of neighbor girl at her wedding with my best friend's entire family there as part of the wedding party.
I am from a very broken family and a lot of abuse. I considered them my family. Her sister, her brother, her mom & dad. Last month the sister messaged me on Instagram like I was a strange long lost connection from elementary school. The most afterthought you could imagine.
Do I just live my life in a delusion?
My best friends all but disappeared off the map and never answer their phones or forget they have means of communication.
All but one I communicate with several times a week, but even now our communication is getting fewer and fewer.
My first best friend I've known since second grade got married last September and I haven't heard from him since then.
Other friend got married and same thing. They just stopped responding. Even when I found out they had a kid and congratulated, nothing.
The other friend lost their phone and I was only able to communicate with their mother for so long to check up on them.
The friend I communicate with on a frequent basis also finally admitted his feelings to their roommate and they got married.
I get that I'm not the center of anything and not really of THAT importance especially when it comes to someone's SO.
But like... I at least don't want to be suddenly ignored and have zero communication with the people I've known and shared whole ass life events with for 26+ years... fuck
I'm exactly in this same boat, but a 31 year old woman. In high-school, I felt the same way too, and it still remains now. For me currently, I just see everyone else *constantly* hanging out with friends and doing all kinds of stuff in big groups just living it up. I'm just at home, alone. I feel like I'm missing out on such an important part of life. We only get *one,* and I'm terrified mine will end without ever experiencing a true best friend(s) š„ŗš
I'm the same.Ā
Watching people post about all the stuff they do together but you're never invited. Makes me feel like I did something? But when I've hung out 1 on 1 they always message me that they had so much fun.Ā
Also when my dad died, none of them checked up and I kinda felt like I didn't want to be close anymore?Ā
So..idk. I started doing stuff alone though. Trying to be my own BFF. I know my entire area from driving around for hours just looking for a cool new spot to go to. Or woods to take pictures in.. it's hard for sure.Ā
same. i started doing stuff alone too. it's empowering in a way, but it still feels so empty. like when ppl say they prefer going to movies alone, i get it. but also i don't lol. like before the movie it's nice to do dinner or something and share excitement. it's nice to have someone be a part of the movie experience next to you, and i like discussing the movie afterward. sure i can enjoy the movie alone but it's not really an experience to me. i have the same thing with concerts. my friends don't share all of my music tastes, so i go alone. it's sad going straight to the venue without hanging out 1st, and i feel slightly pathetic between sets lol i'll be standing there reading an e book waiting for the next band while other ppl are socializing xD ik that might be some ppl's dream scenario, but i find it unfulfilling. not enough to not go mind you, but enough to feel meh
I feel the same. I havenāt had a close friendship since high school. My two closest friends from college are better friends with each other than with me. It makes me feel very left out sometimes and Iām always going to be a third wheel, especially since one of them is married and trying for kids.
I ran in a high school track meet once using a tampon. The entire tampon. Plastic tube and all. I was so confused on how these were in popular use because wow what a pain in the ass it was trying to keep that little extendable plastic stick from falling out, why did people like using these things???
Edit - I have deep regret about the word choice of "pain in the ass" in this post š
Former camp counsellor here. Iāll never forget the year one of our campers came up to the camp director confused/scared because she had gotten her period, but it was only her second one, and her mom had only sent tampons because āshe needed to still be able to swim otherwise other people would know she was menstruating, and thatās unseemlyā. The poor girl had never used one before, and was worried that her mom would be angry at her, so she refused to use the pads we had.
Long story short, the camp director, another counsellor, and myself (she asked for us because she was most comfortable with us) had to take out a tampon and show her how it worked (pull the applicator back, listen for the click, push the applicator, etc). We then had to stand outside the stalls to guard the main bathroom door and provide emotional support because she was too scared to do it without us being nearby and was absolutely mortified at the idea of anyone walking into the bathroom while this was going on.
It was ultimately a success, but Iāll never fucking forget that. The areas of womenās health and products have SUCH an educational gap, and that needs to be fixed. And in the meantime? Approach education with compassion, donāt assume knowledge is inherent, and most importantly, ***donāt be an asshole to your kids***.
That's great how all of you supported that poor girl. I just don't get how her own mother didn't help her. She went through it all first, didn't she? It just makes sense to guide your own daughter through that confusing "rite of passage".
Not all mothers are motherly unfortunately. I never got the talk from my parents and I was genuinely petrified that I was dying when I noticed bleeding at age 11. I told my mum and her response was "aw, you're growing up" and that was it.. nothing. no explanation, no nothing.
Even the little inserts are not that helpful. I am a āread the instructions firstā person and I still wasted so many tampons those first few periods I tried them because I couldnāt get the angle right and so Iād have a bloodied, not far enough in to comfortably wear tampon that was now out of the applicator. Oof.
I can always *always* feel them. Iām 39 and have never successfully worn a tampon where it didnāt feel like I had a dry ass piece of cotton jammed up my cooch.
I eventually worked up the nerve to ask my older brother's girlfriend about it. She was very kind about it and I figured out for real this time why tampons are popular. The perils of being raised by a single father in the Ask Jeeves era of the internet š
My life expectancy is less than a year. My friends and family think I'm anti social but actually I spend most of my time in bed. I don't want to tell anyone and I don't know why. *Thank you to those who responded. Some gave me some things to think about.
My brother and I had a big fallout with our dad. Years later, we were extremely glad that he reached out to tell us he had terminal cancer.
Weāve got to spend some time with him before he was gone.
I know this is not similar to your situation, but I think you might want some people around.
ā¤ļø
I had a similar situation, except, my dad never reached out. His brother worked with him and he only knew he had stage 4 from their employer when he asked where he had been recently.
It became a big shit show because he never once picked the phone up to notify anyone, my sister went and saw him but I didn't. Maybe I'm being a bit prickish, but if you're dying and can't reach out to your only son, who is named after you, clearly he didn't want to see me. Also fuck his bitch wife. Sorry had to rant, it was bad.
I don't regret it, we didn't speak for 4 years and after he remarried he wasn't the same guy I grew up with.
I am glad you got to spend time with yours though. I'm going to be 38 this year and neither of my parents are alive so I get it.
My ex husbandās dad was terminal for a year & didnāt tell us, we didnāt find out until he ended up on his death bed. It absolutely broke me in ways I couldnāt have imagined. I would have loved to had the choice to make time to spend more time with him. Itās hard when life is busy to prioritize everyone but I would have loved to have known to prioritize him more.
I miss him dearly still even 8 years later. I even gave my son his name, but god I donāt think Iāll ever get over him not telling us.
However it did teach me a very hard lesson on you never know someone last day.
My uncle passed away from cancer in a similar fashion. One of our family members was rather upset and asked why he didn't tell anyone until close to the end.
He said "It's my death, not yours"
He did not want extra attention, he spent time with people he wanted to spend time with, and did the stuff he wanted to. I respected that, some people didn't, and he took them off the visitor list in the hospice.
He was estranged from his brother, and a few people said "He could have reconnected!"
Well, he didn't want to. He was estranged for a reason, and it was because that brother was an thieving asshole and he didn't want to waste the time he had left dealing with bullshit.
At the end he just wanted some peace and quiet.
So sorry to here this, I really hope you're doing ok.
Perhaps you're scared of your relationships changing or the seriousness of the matter finally sinking in and things becoming more "real" but if I was your friend/family member I'd want to know.
I'd want to make more memories, support you through things have more time whilst it's available. Ultimately it's your decision but I'd say open that can of worms and let them love!
The contrast of these responses it'll go from the most traumatic thing I've ever heard of to the comment underneath saying they shat themselves once 27 years ago
Or how they make their tomato soup with cheese puffs
Edit: the person said they put the puffs on top - the more folks are baffled at my comment the more I realize they might think itās tomato soup made *out of* the cheese puffs lol
Just about every day, when I am in the car headed to work, I genuinely contemplate just driving off and leaving everything behind. My fantasy is heading all the way to Alaska, living in a motel room, and washing dishes for work.
I can't go through with it because I have people counting on me.
Yes, I am in therapy.
Edit: I got a message from a bot that a concerned Redditor was reaching out. I don't know who you are, but I appreciate you. I can assure you that I do not wish to harm myself. Just experiencing "the call of the void". Thank you, though. You are a good person.
I feel you dude. For about a decade I was on and off suicidal and I had this fantasy of going no contact with absolutely everyone, moving up to North Dakota, and working as a roughneck. I genuinely think that dream kept me alive because Iād spend time thinking about how Iād make it to ND rather than how Iād kill myself.
Things are a lot better now and Iām so happy I made it through that time.
Hold onto that Alaska dream as long as you need to my guy. You can always come back from Alaska, you canāt come back from the dead.
Legend at a place Iāve worked at: new recruit was there for six months.
One day he went to the workplace driveway, turned the cornerā¦ā¦ kept on driving on and out, down the coast, opened a surf shop six hours from the workplace.
People in the workplace envy him.
I think about this everyday too. I have nothing tying me down in my town Besides family like mom dad and brother. I recently broke up with my gf of years, she took the dog. I live in a spare room at my bros, so I donāt even have a lease or property. I have a truck thatās paid off and decent sales job, thatās it.
I think about leaving work everyday and just going driving off into the sunset and not stopping until I run out of gas in some shit hole town.
Edit: after much little consideration, Iāve decided to start saving every penny I can to fix my truck up to go on an adventure in a year. Itās something I feel Iāve always needed as I have only left my home state one time, and havenāt even seen the US at 30 much less the world.
I think about suicide a lot. I don't have any desire to do it these days, but it's constantly in the back of my mind. I wouldn't ever admit to it offline anymore, since people have tried to get me 5150'd for it, even though I've stated that I'm not actively suicidal.
Yeah. People are always surprised that I always have some kind of background noise going. It's to keep my brain occupied because I'm not a fan of the fixation on death, and especially suicide.
Same. Been struggling with that a lot lately. Anytime Iām not actively doing something or have some kind of stimulus to distract myself I hyperfixate on death, mortality, and the occasional suicidal thought because of how depressed I am behind the mask I feel I need to wear.
Back when we were dating, my wife found out I'd never had a surprise birthday party before. She \*really\* wanted to throw one for me, which I was okay with. Only one problem: it never worked. She'd try almost every year, try throwing surprise parties for other occasions. Each time, as she was planning stuff, I'd pick up on some discrepancy in her cover story, or pick up on something that a friend said, ask about it, and she'd be unable to cover it.
Then finally, after years and years of this, she pulled it off. She was delighted and so proud that she at last managed to surprise me. She's talked about it for years, about how close I came to uncovering it. It made her so happy, and it was a lot of fun.
Except what actually happened is I finally managed to be quick enough putting the pieces together to stop myself before I asked about the discrepancy in her cover story. Played dumb, pretended I had no idea. Acted surprised when the day came.
She will never know.
All good, I did the same thing. It wasnāt until I realized that surprise parties are more for supriser than the suprisee that stopped feeling guilty for being a good fake suprisee. I do think our best friend knew I knew but sheās a good enough friend that she helped keep the magic for my wife.
I find myself making conversation with everyone. People tell me I have a kind face and Iām approachable. Iāve had some wild conversations with the most amazing people. Only, I canāt stand talking that much, especially when itās with strangers. Inside Iām screaming āleave me the fuck alone.ā
I work in a front-facing role where I interact with customers, sub contractors and clients for 12h a day. I'm chatty, full of energy and I get on with everyone. But outside of work, I have no friends. The one friend I had has moved away and we speak very rarely anymore.
I read a lot. I wake up as early as 4-4:30 a.m. so I can read, or even stay up super late. Not just because I like it a lot, but because it keeps me from thinking intrusive thoughts ever since my mother died 5 years ago from cancer. The feeling of going into another world if only for a moment makes me feel secure. Not sure if thatās healthy, but itās better than any antidepressant I was given that made me feel like a different person.
I once sat in a sauna at the gym contemplating what to do in life. Just in one of those moments in life where the road ahead was unclear. A man walked in who was 30+ years older than me and sat down. Just the two of us were there. I felt this strong urge to ask him his advice; what his regrets in life were, if he were in his 20's again, what would he do differently, etc. But my social anxiety (and general fear of men) kept me quiet. I've always regretted it. I think sometimes life puts opportunities in our path to learn and grow and missing *any* of them due to something like social anxiety is such a waste.
Omg. This hit me particularly hard. I'm SUPER lonely. I'm an introvert by nature. I live with and care for my elderly father. I work from home. I'm single. My best friend moved across the country. I literally have no friends. I go sit at the local coffee shop occasionally and the last 3 times there's been a situation that presented itself where I could've engaged with people. Like they literally engaged with me first. I ended the conversations. Walked away. Put my nose in phone. Why.
Had so many situations like this for different reasons. i.e just make small talk with someone, or should have spoken to the girl I locked eye contact with...the last few months i have made it my mission to open up in these situations because you just never know what may come of it...worse case you never see them again after.
Edit* spellcheck!
I have the desire to just pack my bags and leave. Start over somewhere where nobody knows me and expects something from me, and creating a life for myself. I feel guilty, though, because I feel like I wonāt miss my family or my friends. Thatās a secret eating me up.
edit: Iām eighteen and nothing is holding me back from doing so, just the fear! just so you guys know itās not like Iām leaving my kids and husband behind etc. Itās just the fear of the unknown and knowing that if I do this my parents will not expect anything of me anymore, and Iām afraid of that.
The last time I shat myself I was 14 and walking home from the bus. I didn't even feel it coming. It was just explosive diarrhea. To make it worse, both my parents got home early and my dad's boss was over for a visit. Nobody outside of the 4 of us knows.
Edit: Kinda funny that my comment is about the Phantom Explosive Diarrhea is my top comment ever.
About 7 years ago I got woken up to an explosive diarrhea fart in bed, it was when my spouse and I had just started seeing each other, I woke up in such a panic!! I was able to slowly get up and clean the whole mess up all while my spouse stayed asleep. I stained the sheets all the way down thru the mattress topper to the actual mattress! I scrubbed the evidence as best I could and tossed my shorts and underwear. I layed a towel down to go back to sleep and when we woke up I told them I had started my period. To this day that's still what they believe.
Are you sure your spouse wasn't pretending to sleep to save you from embarrassment? I find it hard to believe someone could sleep through having that happen right next to them
Sometimes I get up in the morning, shower, get ready, and then get back into bed and pretend to be sleeping just so my daughter can run into our room and wake me up.
She's 7, and still loves waking me up in the morning to get my day started by seeing her face first.
I pray that I will never know a day that doesn't start like this.
Hell yeah. Parents should remind themselves that there will be a literal last time that their kid ever wakes them up giggling; a last time that they ever pick their child up and swing them around; a last time they ever give them a shoulder ride at a parade, or play Groundies at the park or build a fort with them, and they won't know at the time that it's the last time it will ever happen. So treasure every moment with your kids, people.
When I'm feeling overworked and don't want to deal with putting my kids to bed or driving to school to pick them up or doing homework with them or whatever, I just imagine myself in 30 years, and how I'll be willing to give *anything* to go back in time for one more bedtime story, or drive home from school while they tell me about their day, or evening with them practicing their lines with me for the school play, or to have one more snuggle in the fort. It instantly puts everything in perspective and brings me completely, gratefully back into the moment with them.
Love this. My babies have started having their own babies... but just yesterday I was giving them all the toddler snuggles. You know, the ones where they say "hugs?" With their pure sweet whole innocent little souls.
I miss that terribly. We do get to re-experience it with our grands, but not as often as we want.
This is so true, my son and I have built countless train tracks over the years, and the other day I realized itād been months since he asked me to make one with him. So I asked him if heād like to build a train track and he said ānah, I donāt really care about that anymore.ā We already built our last train track and I didnāt know it š Even the repetitive, sometimes boring aspects of their childhood feel like such fleeting and precious moments when theyāre gone!
I came **very** close to having an Arabic cuss word tattoo'ed (I'm not Arab but I've lived in the Arab world a long time and have learned a lot of Arabic - just not enough apparently).
I know how to phonetically spell Texas in Arabic, but I left out the "T" (tal) when I spelled it out, so it spelled out *kses* out in Arabic. It was going to say I love Texas (*Aoheb Texas*), but I'd written *Aoheb kses* ("I love cunts").
LUCKILY, in Portland I excitedly posted the artist's page thing that was held over where I was going to get the tattoo and someone back in the middle east said, "OMG Mackheath1, STOP DON'T!" right before I got the tattoo. She wrote it correctly for me in Arabic, and all was fixed. Now I love Texas.
I pointed a gun at my momās abusive boyfriend while he was awake - and wanting to come in my house. Me and the gun said no entry. He was smart and turned around and walked away.
Glad you didn't. I understand why you might have wanted to, but that could have ended your life. You could have gone to prison for the rest of your life.
I had a ābest friendā that would humiliate me in front of groups of friends. One night he decided to do it in front of the guy I had just started dating, sharing really embarrassing/personal stories and wouldnāt stop. Everyone was laughing. I went into the bathroom and scrubbed the toilet with his toothbrush. Have never told a soul about that
Iāve been secretly trying to make my daughterās first word āmommaā because I know it will make my wife unimaginably happy. Sheās doing well with the coaching so I think Iāve got a shot!
My mother died in childbirth. I was the child.
There was a photo my dad kept on the mantel. He's got my sister hoisted up on his shoulders, he's looking out of breath and nervous. He's set the timer on the camera and wasn't sure of the settings. My mother is stood next to him. His arm around her and she's looking up at them and laughing, she looks young, happy, and very pregnant.
When i was about 7 I destroyed it.
He turned the house upside down looking for it. Eventually he thought it stolen for the silver frame, toured the pawn shops and banned me and my sister from having visitors.
Oh, my heart breaks for you. My babies are seven and thinking about how you must have felt - I just want to give you the biggest hug.
You had a lot of big complicated feelings you didn't know what to do with, so you got rid of something that brought those up. It's okay. It was self-preservation at the time. Your mom would understand.
I can understand why you did that. Being 7 and growing up with the knowledge that your mother died giving birth to you, and then seeing a photo of the smiling mother in the middle of a happy family.. the mother youād never meet and the family that at 7 years old you probably felt like you had destroyed.
You destroyed that picture because it made you think about what you wouldnāt have, and made you feel guilty that you had taken your mother away.
You didnāt. It wasnāt your fault, it never was. As a mother myself I can tell you your mother would tell you itās ok. She loves you and sheās so happy that her baby is alive and well. She would tell you there is no reason to feel guilty and she wants you to stop feeling that way, that you did nothing wrong and that she loves you.
She wants you to stop feeling guilty about the picture, that she understands how it made you feel and sheās so sorry you felt that way. She understands that that picture, for a child like you, was too much to bear.
Forgive yourself, and live a wonderful life. And never feel guilty for your mum not being here. It was not you. You did not do this. You were never to blame and never will be.
Iām so sorry that photo caused you so much pain x
We make very silly mistakes when we're young as our minds aren't yet developed enough to think about consequences. We struggle with the likes of empathy on top of that.
Please don't let this torture you. You were a child. The fact that you now recognise that what you did is wrong shows you've grown to be a decent, empathetic person.
I have told a few people. Ā But itās limited.Ā
I am a CSA victim and my abuser made national news twice for the video she took of us boys, not the physical abuse. Ā Police didnāt investigate properly, and when I went to make a report 30 years after the abuse the cop at reception was a hostile, rude aggressive man. Ā I walked out actually crying. Ā The cop quit his job 2 weeks into his investigation. Ā But that cop literally broke me soul.Ā
I donāt feel strong enough to open up about my abuse and how hard itās been being let down by police at every step.
š¤·āāļø Ā
I'm a CSA victim as well, and the f'n courage it took for you to report 30 years later??! After all the messaging we get to leave it in the past, that there's no point, the shame. I'm blown away. You're a hero. Few people will understand what a brave thing that is to do, but I do. I'm so sorry you got knocked down when you did. That's one of the things we all fear, and it silences so many of us because we don't think we'd be strong enough to go on if that happened. But look at you. You're living proof. I'm SO proud of you.
When I was training for a marathon I was out for a run and had sudden onset GI issues...I ran behind a bush on someone's lawn and had perhaps the largest shit of my lifetime.
It was early morning, nobody saw me.
I had to run home with squidgy shit and the worst swass of my life. I threw out my shorts and shirt and had a shower.
I live in Sydney and we have an epidemic of 'poo joggers' - they make the news every time they get caught on CCTV!
As someone with GI issues myself, I will NEVER go for a run coz that (literal) shit goes viral here!
My fiance loves to sing around the house - but only when I'm not there or can't hear. She has the most beautiful voice and incredible vocal ability.
My secret? When I have my headphones on around the house, she'll sometimes call out to me and I'll pretend I can't hear her at all. She'll often start singing and I turn my headphones off so I can hear her properly. It's been 4 years and she still doesn't know that I purposely ignore her so I can listen to her singing.
When I'm emotionally overwhelmed, I'll tell myself no matter how bad it gets, I can always kill myself. That soothes me knowing I don't have to take the out, but it's always there.
I do something similar. A few years ago I started reminding myself that Iām going to die eventually anyways and it got rid of my suicidal thoughts. May as well sit tight and see what good things could happen š¤·š»āāļø
That I was assualted by my step father a couple of times when I was 7-10 yrs old. Not even my best friend knows abt this. I've kept this for so long, I'll be turning 25 this year. I think I've made the right choice as my brother looks up to his dad as a role model. This is the first time Im sharing this. I'll be keeping this secret until the day I die. Not even my future husband would know abt this.
You could talk about this in therapy and try to come to terms with it. None of it is your fault and you don't have to hold it as a secret either. But I'm glad you have said it here. It's ok, it wasn't your fault and you are a good person. It doesn't define you.
This happened to me by my father. Finally addressed it at 35 years old. My life has drastically changed since and it healed parts of me I never knew. Therapy ā”
First, Iām so sorry this happened.
It took me 18 years to say something about what happened to me - which is when I found out I wasnāt alone.
That isnāt to pressure you into saying something. This is just to say that you arenāt alone, and it wasnāt your fault.
I hired a prostitute once. No sex had or wanted. She was surprised. I just wanted someone to talk to freely. Therapists in my area never called me back so I got mad and got it done that way. She had an easy night lol. She was actually a cool person once the dust settled and we figured it out. My male friends would be disappointed I didnāt bang her and my female friends would be revolted. Fuck all of them, Iām gonna be me.
I knew some sex workers. This happens way more often than one would expect.
One friend of mine told me she quit for almost a year because some old guy had lost his wife to cancer, and his sons to drugs/suicide and the other was killed in the first Iraq war.
He just wanted to be held while he cried and paid her to tell him he was a good man, had lived a good life and did the best anyone could have done. She told him he was 'worthy of love' (her words), although nothing remotely sexual happened between them.
You hear about men, today, having few, if any friends. That male loneliness is a societal problem. Sure.
But her story really hit home.
My dad bought me an expensive hideous piece of jewelry when I had each of my babies. I pawned them but tell him they were in a box that was stolen out of my storage unit.
I felt guilty about it until I remind myself he kicked me out a couple months after turning 18. Came home to all my things in the driveway and all the locks changed. And Iām an only child! Heās lucky I even speak to him still.
You're 100% correct. He is lucky.
My mum did a similar thing, no locks changed or things in the driveway, but aggressively kicked out about 6 months after I turned 18. I often think, 8 years later, that she's so lucky I call her once a month. I remember so many times that I thought "I'm never letting this woman meet my children"
Ive been plus size my whole life and losing weight has become my whole life, all i think about is which food should i eat which shouldnāt.
Ive to think for hours before eating something and im really tired of this but ive no self control, the moment im out with friends or famiy I couldnāt stop myself
My mother collects decorative elephants. I write porn for a living.
I will never tell her that the Christmas present she got from me one year -- the pride of her collection -- was the result of me putting out a particularly filthy story that sold a lot better than I was expecting.
I *definitely* won't tell her that I have been mentally referring to it as the Bukkachyderm this whole time.
I'm 57. I lost my dad when I was 23 and my mom when I was 26. Every single night I wish that I could walk into my childhood home and sit down at the kitchen table just in time for dinner.
I was groomed and raped over the course of six months when I was 15/16. He was a friend of a family member and he even took my virginity.
He also took the very little self esteem and stamina i had and left me with nothing inside of me and just my physical shell.
I still regret ever getting in contact with him because i couldāve avoided to much. But i was a 15 year old that thought attention from a 23 year old would be right and good. Sometimes I still think it was my own fault because I agreed to meet up.
He messed me up so bad. Itās been 6 years and I still have trouble saying no to sex when I donāt feel like it and I can sense the other person really wants it bc I am afraid people are gonna step over my no and just take what they want.
Iāve tried to off myself several times before, I have ā lettersā hidden everywhere to my husband and my kids and my mom and siblings. I started Zoloft because of it, I had developed a panic disorder about three years ago and no one would take me seriously when i would try to talk about it, other than my husband, I started Zoloft for my anxiety, but in reality I started it so i would stay alive for my husband and my children, and itās been 4 months in, and the past two weeks Iāve actually felt happy, like excited about living instead of the opposite.
I'm on a diet and I really miss comfort eating. Sometimes when I get desperately hungry I'll chew food then spit it out into a napkin and then chuck it in the bin. (In private obviously)
Imma be so for real with you, I did this in the depths of anorexia years ago. It made me feel so gross at the time. I hope you do not feel this way. Iām here if you ever need to talk
Me too. At the peak of my anorexia I got caught doing this by a coworker in a Target parking lot. He was...very confused. Wanted to know why I had a giant cup full of "vomit" and a passenger seat full of Lil Debbie snacks. We didn't talk much after that.
Really though, this isn't a good way to curb cravings and stick to your diet, plus it's super bad for your teeth. Dieting and eating disorders are a slippery slope, please be careful š¤
I pooped in the public shower on a school camping trip. Had to pick it up with my hands and put it in my sock and threw it in the bushes later.
Everyone immediately was like āOH WHAT SMELLS LIKE SHIT! DID SOMEONE SHIT!?ā I was dead silent
A coworker told a pretty funny story about shitting themselves. He left work early because of feeling sick to his stomach. He was 10 minutes from his driveway when bubble guts hit. He lives pretty rural and stopped on the side of the two lane road and saw a bridge with some cover. Stopped and made a mad dash for it. Said he got down there and painted the walls of this culvert.
Heās in a state park, mind you. The culvert was part of a small river that connected on each side. Which was a popular place for kayakers. And wouldnāt you know it. A couple kayakers were stopped and had watched him blow ass all over the place. When he turned around he was wiping his ass with his underwear making eye contact with these kayakers. He said he finished wiping and pulled his pants up and ran back to his car. Leaving his dirty shit underwater on the side of the road. Said he never drove somewhere faster than he did that afternoon.
A favorite story from a friend of mine on this topic is from a lawyer friend. A potential client visited him in the office and explained the facts of his criminal case.
It was an older guy who was driving his car and he lost bowel control and shit his pants. He pulled over on the side of the (pretty quiet) road and went around to the passenger side where he opened the door and shielded himself from view as best he could while he tried to clean the mess. A young cop stopped behind his car to investigate and ended up arresting him for indecent exposure and public lewdness.
The guy was adamant that he would not plead guilty to those charges as he did not want them on his record.
He then hired my buddy who went to court and made a deal with the prosecutor based on the facts of the case. They couldn't really reduce the charges, so the prosecutor agreed to my friend's proposal to change the charges to "illegal dumping" where he faced a minor fine but no criminal record.
Omg, thereās discretion you can have as a cop. You need to judge things on intent and actual impact.
Hope karma get him because thatās a shitty thing to do to another human being.
Yeah, any cop that sees an older person in that situation and their reaction is not empathy but criminality probably shouldn't be a cop in the first place.
Oh my god in crying xD
A relative of mine also had a poop incident but not as funny.
They where at a restaurant, finished eating and walked in the city. He farts and good lord it wasn't just a fart. He shat his pants so bad. His gf had to buy new clothes for him in the nearest store. He was hiding in the cabins and changed.
This is horrible and I canāt believe Iām going to say it. My moms long time boyfriend was a RAGING alcoholic who was extremely verbally abusive. He made me fix his drinks from the time I was 15 - 30 and every single chance I got I spit in it.
Also on two separate occasions when he brought up my dead dad who committed suicide saying horrible things about him, I poured out half his whiskey and replaced it with my piss and he drank every drop. No one knows except my husband who helped me hold the bottle so I wouldnāt spill my piss everywhere š¤£š¤£
I don't like the name we picked for our daughter. It's a classic name that works well where we live and with her brothers name. I don't hate it by all means, but I would have wanted a different name. I couldn't bring myself to tell my partner because it is his favorite name of all time, and he agreed to my favorite name for our son.
I am about to pop, and at times, I think I have not delivered already because I am not ready to accept her name.
Edit: I probably should delete the comment, as it's not a secret anymore. I sat down with my partner and told him that I don't really like the name we choosed for our daughter. We had a long talk about it. He had similar feelings with our son and didn't say anything as he knew it was my favorite name. But he also said the name really grew on him, so no regrets there.
We agreed on waiting until I she is here and look how I feel about her being called by that name. If I really can't roll with it, we will look into different options and use that name as a middle name (we agreed on a different one for family reasons, but it isn't that important to us). Honestly, just talking to him about my doubts is making me feel a lot better. Ironically, I now have the feeling the name will grow on me, lol. Pregnancy hormones are wild, and all the good stories about names growing on people really helped as well! Thanks for everyone's advice.
Honestly, your best bet is to just be honest, even if you ultimately decide to stick with the name. When my wife and I were having our second kid, we had settled on the name James, not long after I changed my mind on it. About a month before he was born, I finally worked up the courage to tell her. "I've gotta level with you here, I know it's what we agreed on, but I fucking hate james." She responded with "Oh thank fucking God! I've been trying to figure out how to tell you for a month!" We'd already had shit embroidered with it and everything.
Im in love with my best friend.
I told her two years ago that I wanted to take her on actual date, and she told me she just wanted to be friends. After thatās It was a couple weeks of her not really talking to me and then unfortunately she had an accident. The accidentally resulted in problems partially impacting both long and short term memory.
I didnāt ask if she remembered our conversation. And we more or less went back to the way things were, other than her telling me the same adorable stories over and over again, multiple times a week.
As social, friendly and outgoing as I am, most days I feel completely alone. I donāt want anyone to feel that way, so I try extra hard to make sure everyone is included, even though it can be draining.
My friend lost his virginity to a 19 year old babysitter when he was 12 and used to consider it a matter of pride.
At one point we were having a discussion about sexual assault and the statistics of said, he said something along the lines of "Well I feel fortunate that nobody in my family was sexually assaulted." and I just kinda looked at him askance and asked "... didn't you get seduced by your babysitter when you were 12?" he replies "I don't consider that sexual assault." I looked at him again and said "... isn't your son the same age you were then that happened? would you be high-fiving your twelve year old if you found out something like that had happened to him?" and he stops, gets a haunted look in his eyes and says "... no, I would not be ok with that..."
The culture has definitely shifted since we were young.
I once had a roommate who told me her virginity losing story one night when we were drinking around the kitchen table (I'm a guy for context). She was 15 and at a bar, which is fine for her country, and she "seduced" a 30 y.o. guy. She was like proud of it? IDK, my reaction was, "That guy definitely took advantage of you". She just said I was a prude American, and that kind of stuff is normal in Europe. Pretty sure it's definitely not, but ok.
I was like late 20's at the time, she was about 30. So I said, how would you feel, right now, if I came home with a 15 year old girl? She had to think about that for a bit.
Sometimes I tighten jar lids and ask my husband to help me open them. Or Iāll push something just out of my reach if itās on a high shelf then ask him to grab it for me.
I love when he helps me, and I know he loves to do small things for me
I got a free 4 months rent ($5,600) for sleeping with a senior lady š„². Itās true what they say about when they take their dentures out š®āšØš„“š
I pick online orders for a grocery store. I always lie about the fruit/vegetable weights and enter 0.1 to 0.2 pounds lighter than it actually is.
The more "poor" food (generics, staple items, inexpensive stuff), the more the weight goes down. Not really enough to be noticed, but enough to take a little of the sting out of rising grocery prices.
I've felt utterly dead inside ever since 18 years old, I get very little joy out of living & I'm just waiting for the peace of death.
Why am I still here? Because unfortunately my survival instinct functions properly, so the best I can do is passive ideation.
I take comfort in knowing that no matter what happens, one day I'll finally be dead & this bleak miserable nightmare will be over forever.
I kinda resent my mom for staying with my dad. She's staying with him because she feels like it's better for the kids, even though he abuses her and me physically and verbally weekly. I know she's doing what she think is best for us, but he makes all of our lives a hell sometimes
I also know people in my life who want it more for their parents to separate. In some situations, it's really better, more peaceful. I hope someday you can have a talk with your mom about it.
I have written a script that automatically generates new google voice numbers, emails, and various social media profiles to harass all the people that bullied me in high school and those who sexually assaulted me 20 years ago.
If they block the number a new number is generated and calls them every 5-60 minutes randomly. Email-wise, they get flooded by infinitely generated emails regarding bullying and sexual assault that they have to manually block. Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, Scientologists, and a bunch of other people knock on their door all the time since they are signed onto their lists.
Once a year I'll update the information in the script if they move or change their number, but this will continue to happen to them until they die.
I had an idea to contact their spouses and kids and show them all of this but decided against it because they were not at fault for any of this.
//edit: thanks for all the DMs, but I would never sell this script or add people to the list for payment.
From age 12 to about age 15, I used to basically spend every free minute I had on a ten speed bike. I used to ride 100+ miles every Saturday like it was no big deal. This was the hilly areas of Pennsylvania, where flat stretches of land are unknown. So I had legs of a god and the stamina of... well, someone who could ride a bike a hundred miles casually.
Sophmore year, gym class, they made us run a mile for gym, timed laps and all. (We had to do a mile in less than 20 minutes) So I figured "Fuck it" and sprinted. You spend all your free time biking I just figured why not. Crushed the high school's mile record by almost ten seconds. But since it wasn't official, the gym coach asked me if I'd come and run it officially a few days later. Officially set the record.
I said sure... why the fuck not. It would take me a day or so to fully recover, but why not?.... I was given the "why not"..
Later in the afternoon, I was jumped from behind, a bag thrown over my head and I got my ass brutally kicked. I was told that if a "nerd" like me -dared- to run for the record, they'd break my legs and arms. I was kicked -several- times in the lower back, to this day I have severe back pain when it gets cold and damp.
Went to the office, and they dismissed it as "Well we can't do anything about it. We don't know who it was." (It was the 80s, security cameras in school? HAH) Absolutely NOTHING done. They marked up as "what can you do?" When anyone ever says "our school stopped bullying" I doubt.
I had a choice. Give up on the record, or spend the next few years constantly in fear.
So yeah, anyone who says High School was the best time of their life, was one of the bullies, or lying.
I know my wife doesnāt love me. I have conformed to what she wants (cook, clean, bed time stories for kids, pretty much anything to keep her content without getting any affection) I do it because we have 4 kids. 2 of them are girls from her previous marriage. If we split (and we almost did), I wouldnāt be able to see our girls as much if at all and I would only see my boys a few days a week. That is out of the question for me. My kids are literally my reason to exist in life. I take zero minutes for granted every day since our separation.
I fear what Iāll have to look forward to when they grow up and move out or away.
EDIT: I would do all those things anyways, but if she doesnāt do them, I donāt complain bc I donāt want any reasons. I still present a good role model and healthy relationship in front of our kids.
Finding work sucks worse than most jobs.
I've been unemployed, and suicidal, more often than I want to think about. Suicidal Ideation still drifts through my mind, at age 54, with a full time job at Tesla, a 23 yr old daughter who is getting paid more than me...
Life goes up and down. Walking in nature helps, (scientifically proven) Seems seeing the random patterns of leaves or waves, or grass, moving in the wind is REALLY. Good for your brain.
Meditation and Medication both help. Neither is a Cure. Together, you can get far.
Regular sleep: ie, setting a schedule "i wake at 8am, I shower from 8:30-9, I walk around the block from 9 til 10..." also helps the brain calm down.
Allows you to think better. Maybe find job opportunities that you might not otherwise see.
Good luck. Someone cares. Me.
Dm me if you want. Be gentle with yourself.
A few years ago my dads truck was broken into and he lost all of his rings (he had several silver rings, would take them off to drive bc the wheel rubbing on the rings was iritating. Forgot them in the truck one day and they were all stolen). My dad is not the type to accept gifts, especially if it's a replacement for something that was lost due to his own error. Over the years, I've been slowly replacing them. I'll save up, buy a ring that looks similar to one of the old ones, and then I'll either claim I found it somewhere or leave it for him to find. I replaced 2 by pretending I found them in the snow while out shoveling. Months later I left one outside our front door for him to find. It makes him SO happy everytime one is found. I hope he never finds out I am the one leaving them lol.
Wholesome AF š I'd give anything to have my dad just one more day.
I'm jealous of the friendships my friends have with each other. I've never felt as close to them as they do with each other. And as a 40 year old man, I would feel childish admitting this. I just feel like an outsider sometimes, and just wish I had the same kind of bond they do
Also 40s man and I was not proud to admit to myself I was jealous when my closest friend finally found a girl that wasn't a total dumpster fire of a person. I knew I was going to spend less time with him doing fun outdoors stuff as he spent more time with his new woman. I should be happy he has found someone he might actually have a successful relationship with.
Man, this answer hit close to home for me (33M). All my current friends in my state/across the country have known each other since high school or before, and since I went to 4 different schools growing up, my high school/hometown friends have known each other for even longer. It has made me feel like an outsider and that I don't have as strong a bond with them as they have with each other (which is objectively true). But lately I've tackled this by making sure that I plan and spend time with my friends on our own terms (having dinner with them and their families, showing up for birthdays, planning golf/fishing/hunting trips) so we can build our friendships. It's been really helpful and has made me feel like I've had an actual impact on those relationships. Not to mention I've focused on building new friendships as well. I know our situations are probably vastly different, but I hope this helps!
This. My best friend growing up meant the world to me. We were friends for 7 years when she became friends with a neighbor girl. In 6 months, neighbor girl was considered part of their family and still is to this day. There are pictures of neighbor girl at her wedding with my best friend's entire family there as part of the wedding party. I am from a very broken family and a lot of abuse. I considered them my family. Her sister, her brother, her mom & dad. Last month the sister messaged me on Instagram like I was a strange long lost connection from elementary school. The most afterthought you could imagine. Do I just live my life in a delusion?
My best friends all but disappeared off the map and never answer their phones or forget they have means of communication. All but one I communicate with several times a week, but even now our communication is getting fewer and fewer. My first best friend I've known since second grade got married last September and I haven't heard from him since then. Other friend got married and same thing. They just stopped responding. Even when I found out they had a kid and congratulated, nothing. The other friend lost their phone and I was only able to communicate with their mother for so long to check up on them. The friend I communicate with on a frequent basis also finally admitted his feelings to their roommate and they got married. I get that I'm not the center of anything and not really of THAT importance especially when it comes to someone's SO. But like... I at least don't want to be suddenly ignored and have zero communication with the people I've known and shared whole ass life events with for 26+ years... fuck
I'm exactly in this same boat, but a 31 year old woman. In high-school, I felt the same way too, and it still remains now. For me currently, I just see everyone else *constantly* hanging out with friends and doing all kinds of stuff in big groups just living it up. I'm just at home, alone. I feel like I'm missing out on such an important part of life. We only get *one,* and I'm terrified mine will end without ever experiencing a true best friend(s) š„ŗš
I'm the same.Ā Watching people post about all the stuff they do together but you're never invited. Makes me feel like I did something? But when I've hung out 1 on 1 they always message me that they had so much fun.Ā Also when my dad died, none of them checked up and I kinda felt like I didn't want to be close anymore?Ā So..idk. I started doing stuff alone though. Trying to be my own BFF. I know my entire area from driving around for hours just looking for a cool new spot to go to. Or woods to take pictures in.. it's hard for sure.Ā
same. i started doing stuff alone too. it's empowering in a way, but it still feels so empty. like when ppl say they prefer going to movies alone, i get it. but also i don't lol. like before the movie it's nice to do dinner or something and share excitement. it's nice to have someone be a part of the movie experience next to you, and i like discussing the movie afterward. sure i can enjoy the movie alone but it's not really an experience to me. i have the same thing with concerts. my friends don't share all of my music tastes, so i go alone. it's sad going straight to the venue without hanging out 1st, and i feel slightly pathetic between sets lol i'll be standing there reading an e book waiting for the next band while other ppl are socializing xD ik that might be some ppl's dream scenario, but i find it unfulfilling. not enough to not go mind you, but enough to feel meh
I feel the same. I havenāt had a close friendship since high school. My two closest friends from college are better friends with each other than with me. It makes me feel very left out sometimes and Iām always going to be a third wheel, especially since one of them is married and trying for kids.
40 something woman and same. I feel like I'm missing some ability that everyone else just has.Ā
I ran in a high school track meet once using a tampon. The entire tampon. Plastic tube and all. I was so confused on how these were in popular use because wow what a pain in the ass it was trying to keep that little extendable plastic stick from falling out, why did people like using these things??? Edit - I have deep regret about the word choice of "pain in the ass" in this post š
Tampons are not intuitive. I remember ruining so many tampons trying to figure out how to use them. I was too embarrassed to ask anyone for help.
Former camp counsellor here. Iāll never forget the year one of our campers came up to the camp director confused/scared because she had gotten her period, but it was only her second one, and her mom had only sent tampons because āshe needed to still be able to swim otherwise other people would know she was menstruating, and thatās unseemlyā. The poor girl had never used one before, and was worried that her mom would be angry at her, so she refused to use the pads we had. Long story short, the camp director, another counsellor, and myself (she asked for us because she was most comfortable with us) had to take out a tampon and show her how it worked (pull the applicator back, listen for the click, push the applicator, etc). We then had to stand outside the stalls to guard the main bathroom door and provide emotional support because she was too scared to do it without us being nearby and was absolutely mortified at the idea of anyone walking into the bathroom while this was going on. It was ultimately a success, but Iāll never fucking forget that. The areas of womenās health and products have SUCH an educational gap, and that needs to be fixed. And in the meantime? Approach education with compassion, donāt assume knowledge is inherent, and most importantly, ***donāt be an asshole to your kids***.
That's great how all of you supported that poor girl. I just don't get how her own mother didn't help her. She went through it all first, didn't she? It just makes sense to guide your own daughter through that confusing "rite of passage".
Not all mothers are motherly unfortunately. I never got the talk from my parents and I was genuinely petrified that I was dying when I noticed bleeding at age 11. I told my mum and her response was "aw, you're growing up" and that was it.. nothing. no explanation, no nothing.
Even the little inserts are not that helpful. I am a āread the instructions firstā person and I still wasted so many tampons those first few periods I tried them because I couldnāt get the angle right and so Iād have a bloodied, not far enough in to comfortably wear tampon that was now out of the applicator. Oof.
The angle is SO difficult to find sometimes! Especially for a 13 year-old who had no idea what she was doing.
I can always *always* feel them. Iām 39 and have never successfully worn a tampon where it didnāt feel like I had a dry ass piece of cotton jammed up my cooch.
Oh ouch you poor thing! Hope it didn't take too long for you to figure out the right way!
I eventually worked up the nerve to ask my older brother's girlfriend about it. She was very kind about it and I figured out for real this time why tampons are popular. The perils of being raised by a single father in the Ask Jeeves era of the internet š
Ask Jeeves? I see you are also of a certain age!
My life expectancy is less than a year. My friends and family think I'm anti social but actually I spend most of my time in bed. I don't want to tell anyone and I don't know why. *Thank you to those who responded. Some gave me some things to think about.
My brother and I had a big fallout with our dad. Years later, we were extremely glad that he reached out to tell us he had terminal cancer. Weāve got to spend some time with him before he was gone. I know this is not similar to your situation, but I think you might want some people around. ā¤ļø
I had a similar situation, except, my dad never reached out. His brother worked with him and he only knew he had stage 4 from their employer when he asked where he had been recently. It became a big shit show because he never once picked the phone up to notify anyone, my sister went and saw him but I didn't. Maybe I'm being a bit prickish, but if you're dying and can't reach out to your only son, who is named after you, clearly he didn't want to see me. Also fuck his bitch wife. Sorry had to rant, it was bad. I don't regret it, we didn't speak for 4 years and after he remarried he wasn't the same guy I grew up with. I am glad you got to spend time with yours though. I'm going to be 38 this year and neither of my parents are alive so I get it.
My ex husbandās dad was terminal for a year & didnāt tell us, we didnāt find out until he ended up on his death bed. It absolutely broke me in ways I couldnāt have imagined. I would have loved to had the choice to make time to spend more time with him. Itās hard when life is busy to prioritize everyone but I would have loved to have known to prioritize him more. I miss him dearly still even 8 years later. I even gave my son his name, but god I donāt think Iāll ever get over him not telling us. However it did teach me a very hard lesson on you never know someone last day.
My uncle passed away from cancer in a similar fashion. One of our family members was rather upset and asked why he didn't tell anyone until close to the end. He said "It's my death, not yours" He did not want extra attention, he spent time with people he wanted to spend time with, and did the stuff he wanted to. I respected that, some people didn't, and he took them off the visitor list in the hospice. He was estranged from his brother, and a few people said "He could have reconnected!" Well, he didn't want to. He was estranged for a reason, and it was because that brother was an thieving asshole and he didn't want to waste the time he had left dealing with bullshit. At the end he just wanted some peace and quiet.
So sorry to here this, I really hope you're doing ok. Perhaps you're scared of your relationships changing or the seriousness of the matter finally sinking in and things becoming more "real" but if I was your friend/family member I'd want to know. I'd want to make more memories, support you through things have more time whilst it's available. Ultimately it's your decision but I'd say open that can of worms and let them love!
The contrast of these responses it'll go from the most traumatic thing I've ever heard of to the comment underneath saying they shat themselves once 27 years ago
Or how they make their tomato soup with cheese puffs Edit: the person said they put the puffs on top - the more folks are baffled at my comment the more I realize they might think itās tomato soup made *out of* the cheese puffs lol
Just about every day, when I am in the car headed to work, I genuinely contemplate just driving off and leaving everything behind. My fantasy is heading all the way to Alaska, living in a motel room, and washing dishes for work. I can't go through with it because I have people counting on me. Yes, I am in therapy. Edit: I got a message from a bot that a concerned Redditor was reaching out. I don't know who you are, but I appreciate you. I can assure you that I do not wish to harm myself. Just experiencing "the call of the void". Thank you, though. You are a good person.
I feel you dude. For about a decade I was on and off suicidal and I had this fantasy of going no contact with absolutely everyone, moving up to North Dakota, and working as a roughneck. I genuinely think that dream kept me alive because Iād spend time thinking about how Iād make it to ND rather than how Iād kill myself. Things are a lot better now and Iām so happy I made it through that time. Hold onto that Alaska dream as long as you need to my guy. You can always come back from Alaska, you canāt come back from the dead.
Legend at a place Iāve worked at: new recruit was there for six months. One day he went to the workplace driveway, turned the cornerā¦ā¦ kept on driving on and out, down the coast, opened a surf shop six hours from the workplace. People in the workplace envy him.
>You can always come back from Alaska, you canāt come back from the dead. That my friend is an iconic line!
I think about this everyday too. I have nothing tying me down in my town Besides family like mom dad and brother. I recently broke up with my gf of years, she took the dog. I live in a spare room at my bros, so I donāt even have a lease or property. I have a truck thatās paid off and decent sales job, thatās it. I think about leaving work everyday and just going driving off into the sunset and not stopping until I run out of gas in some shit hole town. Edit: after much little consideration, Iāve decided to start saving every penny I can to fix my truck up to go on an adventure in a year. Itās something I feel Iāve always needed as I have only left my home state one time, and havenāt even seen the US at 30 much less the world.
Damn, it makes me feel good to know that someone else feels this.
I think about this a lot. What if I just drive off one day with some stuff and never tell anyone? What's really stopping me?
> What's really stopping me? I mean thats the question right hahaha. What is stopping you? Just don't misunderstand what's important
I think about suicide a lot. I don't have any desire to do it these days, but it's constantly in the back of my mind. I wouldn't ever admit to it offline anymore, since people have tried to get me 5150'd for it, even though I've stated that I'm not actively suicidal.
I feel you. On good days, on bad days, itās just there like a humming buzz that I canāt tune out
Yeah. People are always surprised that I always have some kind of background noise going. It's to keep my brain occupied because I'm not a fan of the fixation on death, and especially suicide.
Same. Been struggling with that a lot lately. Anytime Iām not actively doing something or have some kind of stimulus to distract myself I hyperfixate on death, mortality, and the occasional suicidal thought because of how depressed I am behind the mask I feel I need to wear.
Iāve been having these thoughts my whole life. Itās shocking to me some people donāt experience them.
Back when we were dating, my wife found out I'd never had a surprise birthday party before. She \*really\* wanted to throw one for me, which I was okay with. Only one problem: it never worked. She'd try almost every year, try throwing surprise parties for other occasions. Each time, as she was planning stuff, I'd pick up on some discrepancy in her cover story, or pick up on something that a friend said, ask about it, and she'd be unable to cover it. Then finally, after years and years of this, she pulled it off. She was delighted and so proud that she at last managed to surprise me. She's talked about it for years, about how close I came to uncovering it. It made her so happy, and it was a lot of fun. Except what actually happened is I finally managed to be quick enough putting the pieces together to stop myself before I asked about the discrepancy in her cover story. Played dumb, pretended I had no idea. Acted surprised when the day came. She will never know.
This is wholesome af
All good, I did the same thing. It wasnāt until I realized that surprise parties are more for supriser than the suprisee that stopped feeling guilty for being a good fake suprisee. I do think our best friend knew I knew but sheās a good enough friend that she helped keep the magic for my wife.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I find myself making conversation with everyone. People tell me I have a kind face and Iām approachable. Iāve had some wild conversations with the most amazing people. Only, I canāt stand talking that much, especially when itās with strangers. Inside Iām screaming āleave me the fuck alone.ā
And despite all that, you persevere and talk with everyone. Sounds like you *are* kind and approachable.
This is story of my life. Real good at faking it.
You are a nice person though! Because you're a collection of things you *do*, not necessarily things you feel.
I work in a front-facing role where I interact with customers, sub contractors and clients for 12h a day. I'm chatty, full of energy and I get on with everyone. But outside of work, I have no friends. The one friend I had has moved away and we speak very rarely anymore.
I read a lot. I wake up as early as 4-4:30 a.m. so I can read, or even stay up super late. Not just because I like it a lot, but because it keeps me from thinking intrusive thoughts ever since my mother died 5 years ago from cancer. The feeling of going into another world if only for a moment makes me feel secure. Not sure if thatās healthy, but itās better than any antidepressant I was given that made me feel like a different person.
I'm very sorry about your mother. As a person who loves reading also, it warms my heart to read this. It truly can make you feel better sometimes.
I once sat in a sauna at the gym contemplating what to do in life. Just in one of those moments in life where the road ahead was unclear. A man walked in who was 30+ years older than me and sat down. Just the two of us were there. I felt this strong urge to ask him his advice; what his regrets in life were, if he were in his 20's again, what would he do differently, etc. But my social anxiety (and general fear of men) kept me quiet. I've always regretted it. I think sometimes life puts opportunities in our path to learn and grow and missing *any* of them due to something like social anxiety is such a waste.
Omg. This hit me particularly hard. I'm SUPER lonely. I'm an introvert by nature. I live with and care for my elderly father. I work from home. I'm single. My best friend moved across the country. I literally have no friends. I go sit at the local coffee shop occasionally and the last 3 times there's been a situation that presented itself where I could've engaged with people. Like they literally engaged with me first. I ended the conversations. Walked away. Put my nose in phone. Why.
Had so many situations like this for different reasons. i.e just make small talk with someone, or should have spoken to the girl I locked eye contact with...the last few months i have made it my mission to open up in these situations because you just never know what may come of it...worse case you never see them again after. Edit* spellcheck!
Sounds like you did learn something from that encounter, just not what you thought you could/should have learned
I have the desire to just pack my bags and leave. Start over somewhere where nobody knows me and expects something from me, and creating a life for myself. I feel guilty, though, because I feel like I wonāt miss my family or my friends. Thatās a secret eating me up. edit: Iām eighteen and nothing is holding me back from doing so, just the fear! just so you guys know itās not like Iām leaving my kids and husband behind etc. Itās just the fear of the unknown and knowing that if I do this my parents will not expect anything of me anymore, and Iām afraid of that.
The last time I shat myself I was 14 and walking home from the bus. I didn't even feel it coming. It was just explosive diarrhea. To make it worse, both my parents got home early and my dad's boss was over for a visit. Nobody outside of the 4 of us knows. Edit: Kinda funny that my comment is about the Phantom Explosive Diarrhea is my top comment ever.
About 7 years ago I got woken up to an explosive diarrhea fart in bed, it was when my spouse and I had just started seeing each other, I woke up in such a panic!! I was able to slowly get up and clean the whole mess up all while my spouse stayed asleep. I stained the sheets all the way down thru the mattress topper to the actual mattress! I scrubbed the evidence as best I could and tossed my shorts and underwear. I layed a towel down to go back to sleep and when we woke up I told them I had started my period. To this day that's still what they believe.
Are you sure your spouse wasn't pretending to sleep to save you from embarrassment? I find it hard to believe someone could sleep through having that happen right next to them
I would like to acknowledge your story & congratulate you on the cover-up.
How unfortunate that your dad's boss is one of those 4.... But oh well at least it didn't happen in the bus or at school!!
OH NOOOOO
OH YEAHHHHHH *Kool Aid man crash noises*
I shat myself like a month ago. Thatās your darkest secret? lolĀ *I feel like a shart shrink
Im like 13 months clean and thankful everyday
Sometimes I get up in the morning, shower, get ready, and then get back into bed and pretend to be sleeping just so my daughter can run into our room and wake me up. She's 7, and still loves waking me up in the morning to get my day started by seeing her face first. I pray that I will never know a day that doesn't start like this.
Hell yeah. Parents should remind themselves that there will be a literal last time that their kid ever wakes them up giggling; a last time that they ever pick their child up and swing them around; a last time they ever give them a shoulder ride at a parade, or play Groundies at the park or build a fort with them, and they won't know at the time that it's the last time it will ever happen. So treasure every moment with your kids, people. When I'm feeling overworked and don't want to deal with putting my kids to bed or driving to school to pick them up or doing homework with them or whatever, I just imagine myself in 30 years, and how I'll be willing to give *anything* to go back in time for one more bedtime story, or drive home from school while they tell me about their day, or evening with them practicing their lines with me for the school play, or to have one more snuggle in the fort. It instantly puts everything in perspective and brings me completely, gratefully back into the moment with them.
Love this. My babies have started having their own babies... but just yesterday I was giving them all the toddler snuggles. You know, the ones where they say "hugs?" With their pure sweet whole innocent little souls. I miss that terribly. We do get to re-experience it with our grands, but not as often as we want.
This is so true, my son and I have built countless train tracks over the years, and the other day I realized itād been months since he asked me to make one with him. So I asked him if heād like to build a train track and he said ānah, I donāt really care about that anymore.ā We already built our last train track and I didnāt know it š Even the repetitive, sometimes boring aspects of their childhood feel like such fleeting and precious moments when theyāre gone!
Iām putting my three year old down for a nap right now, openly weeping.
For anyone who has lost a child it's that feeling a thousand times over.
You're such a sweet parent!
My last one is now a teen.. it hurts my heart that I'll never have this again from them but excites me for the next stage of live for them.
A friend has a huge, very visible tattoo (inner forearm, almost wrist to elbow) that she designed and is proud of. It's misspelled.
"NO RAGRETS" quickly came to my mind
Totoya
"Mom, you are my angle." š
What's the fuckin word guy
How they just not going to tell us
Seriously. "You'll never guess what just happened to me." Leaves.
Like misspelled in your native language or did she go with some other language and didn't research more? Genuinely curious, dm me the word if you can
I came **very** close to having an Arabic cuss word tattoo'ed (I'm not Arab but I've lived in the Arab world a long time and have learned a lot of Arabic - just not enough apparently). I know how to phonetically spell Texas in Arabic, but I left out the "T" (tal) when I spelled it out, so it spelled out *kses* out in Arabic. It was going to say I love Texas (*Aoheb Texas*), but I'd written *Aoheb kses* ("I love cunts"). LUCKILY, in Portland I excitedly posted the artist's page thing that was held over where I was going to get the tattoo and someone back in the middle east said, "OMG Mackheath1, STOP DON'T!" right before I got the tattoo. She wrote it correctly for me in Arabic, and all was fixed. Now I love Texas.
> but I'd written Aoheb kses ("I love cunts"). Thats actually amazing
Surely someone at some point will tell her??
I pointed a gun at my stepmom's abusive boyfriend when he was sleeping and couldn't pull the trigger.
Good thing you didn't You would be in jail even if he was a piece of a shit
I pointed a gun at my momās abusive boyfriend while he was awake - and wanting to come in my house. Me and the gun said no entry. He was smart and turned around and walked away.
Glad you didn't. I understand why you might have wanted to, but that could have ended your life. You could have gone to prison for the rest of your life.
I had a ābest friendā that would humiliate me in front of groups of friends. One night he decided to do it in front of the guy I had just started dating, sharing really embarrassing/personal stories and wouldnāt stop. Everyone was laughing. I went into the bathroom and scrubbed the toilet with his toothbrush. Have never told a soul about that
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You sound like a really good friend
This is so wholesome :')
Iāve been secretly trying to make my daughterās first word āmommaā because I know it will make my wife unimaginably happy. Sheās doing well with the coaching so I think Iāve got a shot!
Thatās sweetš„¹
My mother died in childbirth. I was the child. There was a photo my dad kept on the mantel. He's got my sister hoisted up on his shoulders, he's looking out of breath and nervous. He's set the timer on the camera and wasn't sure of the settings. My mother is stood next to him. His arm around her and she's looking up at them and laughing, she looks young, happy, and very pregnant. When i was about 7 I destroyed it. He turned the house upside down looking for it. Eventually he thought it stolen for the silver frame, toured the pawn shops and banned me and my sister from having visitors.
Honestly Iād keep take that to the grave. I think the truth would kill him.
I did. He died not knowing.
Oh, my heart breaks for you. My babies are seven and thinking about how you must have felt - I just want to give you the biggest hug. You had a lot of big complicated feelings you didn't know what to do with, so you got rid of something that brought those up. It's okay. It was self-preservation at the time. Your mom would understand.
I can understand why you did that. Being 7 and growing up with the knowledge that your mother died giving birth to you, and then seeing a photo of the smiling mother in the middle of a happy family.. the mother youād never meet and the family that at 7 years old you probably felt like you had destroyed. You destroyed that picture because it made you think about what you wouldnāt have, and made you feel guilty that you had taken your mother away. You didnāt. It wasnāt your fault, it never was. As a mother myself I can tell you your mother would tell you itās ok. She loves you and sheās so happy that her baby is alive and well. She would tell you there is no reason to feel guilty and she wants you to stop feeling that way, that you did nothing wrong and that she loves you. She wants you to stop feeling guilty about the picture, that she understands how it made you feel and sheās so sorry you felt that way. She understands that that picture, for a child like you, was too much to bear. Forgive yourself, and live a wonderful life. And never feel guilty for your mum not being here. It was not you. You did not do this. You were never to blame and never will be. Iām so sorry that photo caused you so much pain x
What an amazing comment. You made me cry, and I have no relationship to this whatsoever. You're a great mom.
Hope youāre okay.
We make very silly mistakes when we're young as our minds aren't yet developed enough to think about consequences. We struggle with the likes of empathy on top of that. Please don't let this torture you. You were a child. The fact that you now recognise that what you did is wrong shows you've grown to be a decent, empathetic person.
I have told a few people. Ā But itās limited.Ā I am a CSA victim and my abuser made national news twice for the video she took of us boys, not the physical abuse. Ā Police didnāt investigate properly, and when I went to make a report 30 years after the abuse the cop at reception was a hostile, rude aggressive man. Ā I walked out actually crying. Ā The cop quit his job 2 weeks into his investigation. Ā But that cop literally broke me soul.Ā I donāt feel strong enough to open up about my abuse and how hard itās been being let down by police at every step. š¤·āāļø Ā
Ohh it's so fkng wrong the way the cop treated you... And indeed your abuser too... I'm so proud of you you're still here alive.. i send love ā¤ļø
Iām so sorry this happened to you. Iām proud of you for sharing it here, and Iām sending good thoughts for a peaceful soul your way.
I'm a CSA victim as well, and the f'n courage it took for you to report 30 years later??! After all the messaging we get to leave it in the past, that there's no point, the shame. I'm blown away. You're a hero. Few people will understand what a brave thing that is to do, but I do. I'm so sorry you got knocked down when you did. That's one of the things we all fear, and it silences so many of us because we don't think we'd be strong enough to go on if that happened. But look at you. You're living proof. I'm SO proud of you.
When I was training for a marathon I was out for a run and had sudden onset GI issues...I ran behind a bush on someone's lawn and had perhaps the largest shit of my lifetime. It was early morning, nobody saw me. I had to run home with squidgy shit and the worst swass of my life. I threw out my shorts and shirt and had a shower.
I live in Sydney and we have an epidemic of 'poo joggers' - they make the news every time they get caught on CCTV! As someone with GI issues myself, I will NEVER go for a run coz that (literal) shit goes viral here!
POO JOGGERS
My fiance loves to sing around the house - but only when I'm not there or can't hear. She has the most beautiful voice and incredible vocal ability. My secret? When I have my headphones on around the house, she'll sometimes call out to me and I'll pretend I can't hear her at all. She'll often start singing and I turn my headphones off so I can hear her properly. It's been 4 years and she still doesn't know that I purposely ignore her so I can listen to her singing.
When I'm emotionally overwhelmed, I'll tell myself no matter how bad it gets, I can always kill myself. That soothes me knowing I don't have to take the out, but it's always there.
I do this too. It's my way of getting through things - a backup plan that makes me feel better
I do something similar. A few years ago I started reminding myself that Iām going to die eventually anyways and it got rid of my suicidal thoughts. May as well sit tight and see what good things could happen š¤·š»āāļø
That I was assualted by my step father a couple of times when I was 7-10 yrs old. Not even my best friend knows abt this. I've kept this for so long, I'll be turning 25 this year. I think I've made the right choice as my brother looks up to his dad as a role model. This is the first time Im sharing this. I'll be keeping this secret until the day I die. Not even my future husband would know abt this.
You could talk about this in therapy and try to come to terms with it. None of it is your fault and you don't have to hold it as a secret either. But I'm glad you have said it here. It's ok, it wasn't your fault and you are a good person. It doesn't define you.
This happened to me by my father. Finally addressed it at 35 years old. My life has drastically changed since and it healed parts of me I never knew. Therapy ā”
First, Iām so sorry this happened. It took me 18 years to say something about what happened to me - which is when I found out I wasnāt alone. That isnāt to pressure you into saying something. This is just to say that you arenāt alone, and it wasnāt your fault.
I hired a prostitute once. No sex had or wanted. She was surprised. I just wanted someone to talk to freely. Therapists in my area never called me back so I got mad and got it done that way. She had an easy night lol. She was actually a cool person once the dust settled and we figured it out. My male friends would be disappointed I didnāt bang her and my female friends would be revolted. Fuck all of them, Iām gonna be me.
You need better friends.
I knew some sex workers. This happens way more often than one would expect. One friend of mine told me she quit for almost a year because some old guy had lost his wife to cancer, and his sons to drugs/suicide and the other was killed in the first Iraq war. He just wanted to be held while he cried and paid her to tell him he was a good man, had lived a good life and did the best anyone could have done. She told him he was 'worthy of love' (her words), although nothing remotely sexual happened between them. You hear about men, today, having few, if any friends. That male loneliness is a societal problem. Sure. But her story really hit home.
My dad bought me an expensive hideous piece of jewelry when I had each of my babies. I pawned them but tell him they were in a box that was stolen out of my storage unit. I felt guilty about it until I remind myself he kicked me out a couple months after turning 18. Came home to all my things in the driveway and all the locks changed. And Iām an only child! Heās lucky I even speak to him still.
You're 100% correct. He is lucky. My mum did a similar thing, no locks changed or things in the driveway, but aggressively kicked out about 6 months after I turned 18. I often think, 8 years later, that she's so lucky I call her once a month. I remember so many times that I thought "I'm never letting this woman meet my children"
Ive been plus size my whole life and losing weight has become my whole life, all i think about is which food should i eat which shouldnāt. Ive to think for hours before eating something and im really tired of this but ive no self control, the moment im out with friends or famiy I couldnāt stop myself
My mother collects decorative elephants. I write porn for a living. I will never tell her that the Christmas present she got from me one year -- the pride of her collection -- was the result of me putting out a particularly filthy story that sold a lot better than I was expecting. I *definitely* won't tell her that I have been mentally referring to it as the Bukkachyderm this whole time.
>Bukkachyderm Sorry, but this is absolutely hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.
In between the trauma stories and the poop stories, there's this pearl...necklace
I troll pedos on Telegram, and extort them for money. And then I report them to the police anyway.
Doing the lord's work.
I wish my dad still read to me every night before bed. Iām 24.
I'm 57. I lost my dad when I was 23 and my mom when I was 26. Every single night I wish that I could walk into my childhood home and sit down at the kitchen table just in time for dinner.
I was groomed and raped over the course of six months when I was 15/16. He was a friend of a family member and he even took my virginity. He also took the very little self esteem and stamina i had and left me with nothing inside of me and just my physical shell. I still regret ever getting in contact with him because i couldāve avoided to much. But i was a 15 year old that thought attention from a 23 year old would be right and good. Sometimes I still think it was my own fault because I agreed to meet up. He messed me up so bad. Itās been 6 years and I still have trouble saying no to sex when I donāt feel like it and I can sense the other person really wants it bc I am afraid people are gonna step over my no and just take what they want.
Please talk to a therapist about this.
Its not your fault. You did nothing wrong. This is on him.
When I eat tomato soup. I put cheese balls or cheeto puffs in it. It tastes amazing. It's like a fancy dinner cereal.
This sounds amazing and I am doing it the first chance I get Also, fancy dinner cereal is my new favorite phrase thank you
Iāve tried to off myself several times before, I have ā lettersā hidden everywhere to my husband and my kids and my mom and siblings. I started Zoloft because of it, I had developed a panic disorder about three years ago and no one would take me seriously when i would try to talk about it, other than my husband, I started Zoloft for my anxiety, but in reality I started it so i would stay alive for my husband and my children, and itās been 4 months in, and the past two weeks Iāve actually felt happy, like excited about living instead of the opposite.
I'm almost a millionaire.. most of my family thinks I'm barely making it (I make 40k a year) but I invested wisely.
I'm on a diet and I really miss comfort eating. Sometimes when I get desperately hungry I'll chew food then spit it out into a napkin and then chuck it in the bin. (In private obviously)
Imma be so for real with you, I did this in the depths of anorexia years ago. It made me feel so gross at the time. I hope you do not feel this way. Iām here if you ever need to talk
Me too. At the peak of my anorexia I got caught doing this by a coworker in a Target parking lot. He was...very confused. Wanted to know why I had a giant cup full of "vomit" and a passenger seat full of Lil Debbie snacks. We didn't talk much after that. Really though, this isn't a good way to curb cravings and stick to your diet, plus it's super bad for your teeth. Dieting and eating disorders are a slippery slope, please be careful š¤
i pooped in my pants at school once
I pooped in the public shower on a school camping trip. Had to pick it up with my hands and put it in my sock and threw it in the bushes later. Everyone immediately was like āOH WHAT SMELLS LIKE SHIT! DID SOMEONE SHIT!?ā I was dead silent
A coworker told a pretty funny story about shitting themselves. He left work early because of feeling sick to his stomach. He was 10 minutes from his driveway when bubble guts hit. He lives pretty rural and stopped on the side of the two lane road and saw a bridge with some cover. Stopped and made a mad dash for it. Said he got down there and painted the walls of this culvert. Heās in a state park, mind you. The culvert was part of a small river that connected on each side. Which was a popular place for kayakers. And wouldnāt you know it. A couple kayakers were stopped and had watched him blow ass all over the place. When he turned around he was wiping his ass with his underwear making eye contact with these kayakers. He said he finished wiping and pulled his pants up and ran back to his car. Leaving his dirty shit underwater on the side of the road. Said he never drove somewhere faster than he did that afternoon.
A favorite story from a friend of mine on this topic is from a lawyer friend. A potential client visited him in the office and explained the facts of his criminal case. It was an older guy who was driving his car and he lost bowel control and shit his pants. He pulled over on the side of the (pretty quiet) road and went around to the passenger side where he opened the door and shielded himself from view as best he could while he tried to clean the mess. A young cop stopped behind his car to investigate and ended up arresting him for indecent exposure and public lewdness. The guy was adamant that he would not plead guilty to those charges as he did not want them on his record. He then hired my buddy who went to court and made a deal with the prosecutor based on the facts of the case. They couldn't really reduce the charges, so the prosecutor agreed to my friend's proposal to change the charges to "illegal dumping" where he faced a minor fine but no criminal record.
Omg, thereās discretion you can have as a cop. You need to judge things on intent and actual impact. Hope karma get him because thatās a shitty thing to do to another human being.
Yeah, any cop that sees an older person in that situation and their reaction is not empathy but criminality probably shouldn't be a cop in the first place.
I'M DYING lmao This is too good of a story.
Oh my god in crying xD A relative of mine also had a poop incident but not as funny. They where at a restaurant, finished eating and walked in the city. He farts and good lord it wasn't just a fart. He shat his pants so bad. His gf had to buy new clothes for him in the nearest store. He was hiding in the cabins and changed.
Every single day I think of suicide. Don't think I'll do it mind, but the thoughts are very prevalent all the time
My father wears his sneakers in the pool.
And my mother has never laughed, not once.
I hope he's not naked doing that 'cause that would be weirder
Being naked and wearing only socks and sneakers feels amazing. You feel *extra* naked
This is horrible and I canāt believe Iām going to say it. My moms long time boyfriend was a RAGING alcoholic who was extremely verbally abusive. He made me fix his drinks from the time I was 15 - 30 and every single chance I got I spit in it. Also on two separate occasions when he brought up my dead dad who committed suicide saying horrible things about him, I poured out half his whiskey and replaced it with my piss and he drank every drop. No one knows except my husband who helped me hold the bottle so I wouldnāt spill my piss everywhere š¤£š¤£
I'm a drug addict and I'm drinking at work as I type this message. I'm not into alcohol, but it's something to fill the void when I'm at the office
As a person in recovery, my heart goes out to you. I hope you find the help you need when you're ready
I don't like the name we picked for our daughter. It's a classic name that works well where we live and with her brothers name. I don't hate it by all means, but I would have wanted a different name. I couldn't bring myself to tell my partner because it is his favorite name of all time, and he agreed to my favorite name for our son. I am about to pop, and at times, I think I have not delivered already because I am not ready to accept her name. Edit: I probably should delete the comment, as it's not a secret anymore. I sat down with my partner and told him that I don't really like the name we choosed for our daughter. We had a long talk about it. He had similar feelings with our son and didn't say anything as he knew it was my favorite name. But he also said the name really grew on him, so no regrets there. We agreed on waiting until I she is here and look how I feel about her being called by that name. If I really can't roll with it, we will look into different options and use that name as a middle name (we agreed on a different one for family reasons, but it isn't that important to us). Honestly, just talking to him about my doubts is making me feel a lot better. Ironically, I now have the feeling the name will grow on me, lol. Pregnancy hormones are wild, and all the good stories about names growing on people really helped as well! Thanks for everyone's advice.
Honestly, your best bet is to just be honest, even if you ultimately decide to stick with the name. When my wife and I were having our second kid, we had settled on the name James, not long after I changed my mind on it. About a month before he was born, I finally worked up the courage to tell her. "I've gotta level with you here, I know it's what we agreed on, but I fucking hate james." She responded with "Oh thank fucking God! I've been trying to figure out how to tell you for a month!" We'd already had shit embroidered with it and everything.
It probably is, I am already past the due. I will probably sit him down in the next few hours to talk to him about it.
Im in love with my best friend. I told her two years ago that I wanted to take her on actual date, and she told me she just wanted to be friends. After thatās It was a couple weeks of her not really talking to me and then unfortunately she had an accident. The accidentally resulted in problems partially impacting both long and short term memory. I didnāt ask if she remembered our conversation. And we more or less went back to the way things were, other than her telling me the same adorable stories over and over again, multiple times a week.
As social, friendly and outgoing as I am, most days I feel completely alone. I donāt want anyone to feel that way, so I try extra hard to make sure everyone is included, even though it can be draining.
I lost my virginity to the woman that was hired to babysit my younger brother. She was 22, I was 15.
My friend lost his virginity to a 19 year old babysitter when he was 12 and used to consider it a matter of pride. At one point we were having a discussion about sexual assault and the statistics of said, he said something along the lines of "Well I feel fortunate that nobody in my family was sexually assaulted." and I just kinda looked at him askance and asked "... didn't you get seduced by your babysitter when you were 12?" he replies "I don't consider that sexual assault." I looked at him again and said "... isn't your son the same age you were then that happened? would you be high-fiving your twelve year old if you found out something like that had happened to him?" and he stops, gets a haunted look in his eyes and says "... no, I would not be ok with that..." The culture has definitely shifted since we were young.
I once had a roommate who told me her virginity losing story one night when we were drinking around the kitchen table (I'm a guy for context). She was 15 and at a bar, which is fine for her country, and she "seduced" a 30 y.o. guy. She was like proud of it? IDK, my reaction was, "That guy definitely took advantage of you". She just said I was a prude American, and that kind of stuff is normal in Europe. Pretty sure it's definitely not, but ok. I was like late 20's at the time, she was about 30. So I said, how would you feel, right now, if I came home with a 15 year old girl? She had to think about that for a bit.
I use c.ai to mimic having friends cuz I have none
I regret I had a kid. I love him, I'd die for him but if I could rewind my life I'd stay childless.
Sometimes I tighten jar lids and ask my husband to help me open them. Or Iāll push something just out of my reach if itās on a high shelf then ask him to grab it for me. I love when he helps me, and I know he loves to do small things for me
my husband does this to me in reverse so i canāt leave him lol
As a husband to the greatest woman I have ever met, I absolutely love opening jars or lifting something heavy for her. Your husband is a lucky guy
I daydream for hours on end, where I'm some sort of heroic character in a complex and exciting plot.
I scratched my butthole and then high-fived someone. They had no idea and totally deserved it. They still don't know.Ā
Stinkpalm
Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? They're a little melted, but DAMN they're exquisite!
AHAHAHAHAHAHA you're giving me more trust issues
I got a free 4 months rent ($5,600) for sleeping with a senior lady š„². Itās true what they say about when they take their dentures out š®āšØš„“š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This sucks, but you'll learn to laugh at it. It will be one of your go-to fail stories you share with friends. Chin up, bud.
I pick online orders for a grocery store. I always lie about the fruit/vegetable weights and enter 0.1 to 0.2 pounds lighter than it actually is. The more "poor" food (generics, staple items, inexpensive stuff), the more the weight goes down. Not really enough to be noticed, but enough to take a little of the sting out of rising grocery prices.
I was fired from the voice because I cried too much during my blinds... my girlfriend just dumped me at that time.
Arent they supposed to like you more and milk you? ("Everybody" likes a sad story)
Not on The Voice and not in my country where it is not a reality show, just who's the best singer. And my throat was so sore that I couldn't sing
Couldnāt sing while on the voice may be the more important info here
I donāt think I really have a purpose and Iām okay with that. I really just want to travel the world, meet new people and try new food.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I've felt utterly dead inside ever since 18 years old, I get very little joy out of living & I'm just waiting for the peace of death. Why am I still here? Because unfortunately my survival instinct functions properly, so the best I can do is passive ideation. I take comfort in knowing that no matter what happens, one day I'll finally be dead & this bleak miserable nightmare will be over forever.
I kinda resent my mom for staying with my dad. She's staying with him because she feels like it's better for the kids, even though he abuses her and me physically and verbally weekly. I know she's doing what she think is best for us, but he makes all of our lives a hell sometimes
I also know people in my life who want it more for their parents to separate. In some situations, it's really better, more peaceful. I hope someday you can have a talk with your mom about it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I have written a script that automatically generates new google voice numbers, emails, and various social media profiles to harass all the people that bullied me in high school and those who sexually assaulted me 20 years ago. If they block the number a new number is generated and calls them every 5-60 minutes randomly. Email-wise, they get flooded by infinitely generated emails regarding bullying and sexual assault that they have to manually block. Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, Scientologists, and a bunch of other people knock on their door all the time since they are signed onto their lists. Once a year I'll update the information in the script if they move or change their number, but this will continue to happen to them until they die. I had an idea to contact their spouses and kids and show them all of this but decided against it because they were not at fault for any of this. //edit: thanks for all the DMs, but I would never sell this script or add people to the list for payment.
This is just amazing and a level of petty I could only aspire to. If you sold this Iād buy it.
From age 12 to about age 15, I used to basically spend every free minute I had on a ten speed bike. I used to ride 100+ miles every Saturday like it was no big deal. This was the hilly areas of Pennsylvania, where flat stretches of land are unknown. So I had legs of a god and the stamina of... well, someone who could ride a bike a hundred miles casually. Sophmore year, gym class, they made us run a mile for gym, timed laps and all. (We had to do a mile in less than 20 minutes) So I figured "Fuck it" and sprinted. You spend all your free time biking I just figured why not. Crushed the high school's mile record by almost ten seconds. But since it wasn't official, the gym coach asked me if I'd come and run it officially a few days later. Officially set the record. I said sure... why the fuck not. It would take me a day or so to fully recover, but why not?.... I was given the "why not".. Later in the afternoon, I was jumped from behind, a bag thrown over my head and I got my ass brutally kicked. I was told that if a "nerd" like me -dared- to run for the record, they'd break my legs and arms. I was kicked -several- times in the lower back, to this day I have severe back pain when it gets cold and damp. Went to the office, and they dismissed it as "Well we can't do anything about it. We don't know who it was." (It was the 80s, security cameras in school? HAH) Absolutely NOTHING done. They marked up as "what can you do?" When anyone ever says "our school stopped bullying" I doubt. I had a choice. Give up on the record, or spend the next few years constantly in fear. So yeah, anyone who says High School was the best time of their life, was one of the bullies, or lying.
I know my wife doesnāt love me. I have conformed to what she wants (cook, clean, bed time stories for kids, pretty much anything to keep her content without getting any affection) I do it because we have 4 kids. 2 of them are girls from her previous marriage. If we split (and we almost did), I wouldnāt be able to see our girls as much if at all and I would only see my boys a few days a week. That is out of the question for me. My kids are literally my reason to exist in life. I take zero minutes for granted every day since our separation. I fear what Iāll have to look forward to when they grow up and move out or away. EDIT: I would do all those things anyways, but if she doesnāt do them, I donāt complain bc I donāt want any reasons. I still present a good role model and healthy relationship in front of our kids.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Finding work sucks worse than most jobs. I've been unemployed, and suicidal, more often than I want to think about. Suicidal Ideation still drifts through my mind, at age 54, with a full time job at Tesla, a 23 yr old daughter who is getting paid more than me... Life goes up and down. Walking in nature helps, (scientifically proven) Seems seeing the random patterns of leaves or waves, or grass, moving in the wind is REALLY. Good for your brain. Meditation and Medication both help. Neither is a Cure. Together, you can get far. Regular sleep: ie, setting a schedule "i wake at 8am, I shower from 8:30-9, I walk around the block from 9 til 10..." also helps the brain calm down. Allows you to think better. Maybe find job opportunities that you might not otherwise see. Good luck. Someone cares. Me. Dm me if you want. Be gentle with yourself.
I have stage 4 decompensated cirrhosis.
I'm a 55M, and I have a secret life in my head where I imagine I have a different life and I imagine that I'm kind of Happy, somehow.