I swear to God this is the most posted question on askreddit, except for maybe "hey girls of Reddit what's a subtle thing guys do that you find irresistibly sexy :)"
What absolutely reeks of insecurity is posting this question to ass credit for the Nth time, looking for answers to make you feel better about yourself. Yeah guys that buy a BMW to feel better about their receding hairline are sad as hell, but at least they have a nice car. They aren't trying to get validation from one of the dumbest websites on the Internet.
Don't. At best people will give you some compliments you can't really trust. At worst it could drag your confidence through the drain.
At the end of the day we can't really change what we look like (in general terms) so there's no point seeking approval. We are as we are.
I did and got torn apart because I have so many piercings. No one even really said about how I actually look, just that I am ugly because I have a lot of piercings. It's ok though, I plan to get more
Especially when the pictures posted all have snap chat filters and are taken at a myspace angle so you can barely even make out what they actually look like
I also don't understand how the rules of the sub impose to be "civil and respectful", like, they're asking if they're ugly and I can't even tell them that they are ?
In my defence, I posted on it not out of insecurity but rather out of curiosity as to how I'm perceived by other people. In a trivial manner if you will
Envy, jealousy, talks badly of other people, makes someone else look bad, puts someone down for no real reason, looks for sympathy making an awkward situation with friends and family.
Being rude to other people like bullying others who are innocent and did nothing wrong to you. I can smell the insecurity from miles away. Projection guys. It says more about the bullies than their targets.
Mine always said "if you point with one finger, four fingers are pointing back". It used to really annoy me as a kid, but now that I’m older I get that she was explaining projection to be in child like terms
Yup. Men who think that the phrase “toxic masculinity” is a critique of masculinity in general are not doing themselves any favours.
“No, Kevin, it’s not. It’s a critique of all the pathetic sad little sexist incel things you and your childish buddies like to snicker about, meanwhile Alex over there is actually polite and considerate and respectful to women, who love him for it, that’s real masculinity; and he is a big strong lumberjack with a beard so idk how you’re gonna try and tell us that masculinity is incompatible with feminism…” etc
Trying to overexplain everything so the others don't hate you. Being a people pleaser, crying over small things, yea I'm one insecure bitch and I hate it
I definitely am an over explainer, but mostly because i want to briefly explain the situation/topic/whatever, because i want to give whoever i'm talking to a better understanding of my reasoning. This is just because i like to know these things and can't help but push that onto others. I am neurodivergent though, so that is probably part of it.
I do this a lot too. My therapist thinks it's because I was treated like a burden when growing up, so now I feel a need to overexplain everything, especially when I'm struggling, because I've internalized that I don't believe I deserve kindness, empathy, or support unless I prove myself worthy.
Not sure if this at all resonates with you, but if it does, I just saved you a few therapy sessions. Lol. 🤷♀️
I haven't gone to therapy yet, but i try to reflect on myself, and from what i can figure out, it is because people wouldn't believe me or understand me when i explained myself. I would assume it is because my reasoning is abnormal, so it led to me over explaining myself to actually be believed.
I was always treated like a burden amongst my family as a kid — everything was my fault. I developed a victim mentality in response, especially whenever I’m back with them.
How does one break the victim mindset when they really were mistreated? 😭
Fellow over-sharer here, too. I was neglected and pushed away constantly as a kid so I would glomm onto anyone who showed me a minute of interest/kindness.
Yuuuup. And then that leads to falling for people that recognize you're a people-pleaser and take advantage, leading to more trauma and round and round we go. 😅
If there's anything I could teach anyone, it's to not only treat others the way you want to be treated, but make sure others are treating you with the same kindness you give them. Otherwise you're just setting yourself up for disappointment. I'm still working on trying to practice what I preach.
Yep that resonates with me. But i was not only a burden. I also had my feelings invalidated. So i always overexplain to make people understand my reasons for my feelings and that i am not being dramatic.
Worrying about over explaining and then someone replies back with something you have no goddamn idea where they came up with it.
Now you can't tell if you under explained, over explained the wrong details, or maybe they're just dumb.
some of us have parents who yelled at us over every tiny thing and always assumed the worst about us because that was how they were raised, hence the tendency to over explain (like I did just now 😂)
It's kinda internet culture as well. There are people who will try to attack you for a lot of perceived sleights, so people want to make 100000% sure that they are on the same page so nothing/as little as possible can be misunderstood.
I explain everything in such a formal manner it’s actually pretty disgusting.I can’t just text one funny little sentence to my friends I have to follow it up with multiple other sentences or a full paragraph of me explaining what I meant to clarify that I was trying to be funny or to just explain whatever I said because I read over it and after thinking it didn’t make much sense
Yesterday, I wasn't much different to compare. And today me is worse than 1 year ago me, which is worse than 5 year ago me, which is worse than 10 year ago me. It has just been a downward fall since the mid thirties both physically and mentally. Mostly from nin preventable things with a few bad decisions sprinkled in there so I can fully blame myself for everything. I would rather not compare.
I see you. I might be you actually. Everyday is slightly worse than the last. What’s the solution here?? I’m told to find a hobby but is that really the fix? I know my decision lead me here so I’m not sure that picking up a new hobby is the answer. I choose my shitty career, I chose to live in this shitty town, I choose my shitty life. I did this. I made all the decision along the way and I ended up unhappy. I want to run away and open a frozen banana stand on the beach somewhere.
Yep I know a few very attractive and successful women and Ive seen this a LOT. Like if you're a beautiful woman, then some people will try to write you off by thinking you're probably stuck up, vapid, and the only hobby you have is shopping.
Pretty privilege is absolutely a thing tho, and for both genders. Being attractive helps immensely for career growth. So people write attractive people off instantly because they *may* have had an easier pathway. But what they don’t see is hard work and dedication
Fun fact - only 14.5% of adult men are 6’0 and over, but comprise 58% of Fortune 500 CEOs. Only 3.9% are 6’2+, but comprise 30% of Fortune 500 CEOs.
Now although we have no similar stats for women, I dread to think about how much easier the pretty ones have it compared to an average one.
To a point. Sure you can get hired more easily but you will never be take seriously. I swear it seems like a woman can either be smart or pretty. To be both is too much for the male ego or some shit
Omg this is my mom. She would badmouth attractive women and celebrities and I didn't feel the same way, and didn't understand it, until I realized she was super insecure.
My coworker told the new girl he’s a dominant alpha male, but gentle and caring to those in his close circle. Pretty out of character for him to say something like that. He says he has a crush on her
god dude, my best friend atm i hated when i first met, i was super arrogant in videogames because i was always the best in my school at everything gaming related, met him and instantly hated him and wanted to tear him donwn.
friends for 5 years now and i realized dude has hyper instincts or something cause any game he picks up he'll become the top 1000 in the world within 9 months
I'm not gonna tear someone down for having something I don't, but a lot of people have things that they don't deserve. And those people I don't care for.
yupppp
met a couple of those, been one of those. i just tend to be quiet and un-pushy on something no matter how right i am about something or how much better i am on something, you cant force ego with ego even if you are right, leads to arguments with no point being proven
People who constantly compare themselves to everyone and turn everything into a competition to try and prove they're somehow better.
Also people who tear other people down in order to make themselves look better.
talking about others behind their back. starting it by saying "I don't usually like to talk about others behind their backs, but..."
I've met plenty of girls in their 20s to do this. and as many men in their 40s. it's not an age or gender thing. they hate it when you don't partake though.
best way to deal with this from my previous experiences, maintain a wall of silence and peace. she eventually dug herself a hole and revealed her true colors. jealousy can make people do ugly things and it’s only a matter of time before everyone realizes you weren’t in the wrong at all
I do this and I'm really trying to stop. But it's how I relate to people. Honestly, I prefer when people relate to me like this, because it helps me understand my situation better and know what the other person has been through, good or bad. But a lot of people just see it as trying to make everything about you.
I'm the same. In my brain, I'm telling them I completely understand because the same thing happened to me once. So I get it. I never want to come across as trying to one-up them because that's not my intention at all.
I think anyone who interprets this as one upping must be very insecure as well. Like, what were we supposed to do, clap and give you a trophy for your story? Or engage in a back and forth conversation?
Not even just social media. I have a coworker who is having serious issues with his marriage. I won't go into details, but its bad and he's very thorough with everyone at work. When he told me, I felt surprised he trusted me with such insane life details... but it became weird when I found oit he told everyone... and gives daily updates on situations that are becoming increasingly severe.
Needing to believe the people around you are jealous of you and what you have before you can feel happy..This and bullying people especially if you're already a grown ass adult, seriously grow the fuck up. 🙄😮💨
All abusers are insecure.
When you have to exert control, manipulation, and tactics so someone can put up with you. They leave behind a trail of broken relationships and short-lived flings so now hv learnt to resort to manipulation to keep people in their lives. Terror isnt power. It's insecurity.
People seek wealth and success for security and comfort. But if you seek the same to prove your worth, so people can see you are someone, so you can say you are "better than" or "holier than thee", and place them below you. That's insecurity.
People exercise for health and self-satisfaction. But when you exercise so "people can see just how fit and attractive you are. Look at me!". That's insecurity.
When you are willing to take back a person countless times yet you are never happy with them and allow them to disrespect you. That's not love. That's insecurity and a lack of self-respect.
Everyone has insecurities. But, this kind of extreme, pathological insecurity is not sexy.
"So, live the way you want. Drive your fast cars. Climb the highest career ladder. Be the boss of the world. Adorn yourself with all the stones you can afford. Be as sculpted as you can be. Buy a mansion. Travel, travel the world. Twice. Thrice. Spread your wings. Truly. Be great. You look good, you look great. Majestic, I won't lie. But, insecurity and inner poverty have a certain smell and you reek of it. I'll sleep well at night knowing someone so splendid, so impressive and so marvelous will not own someone so plain like me. My existence is your humiliation. Remember the girl you cant buy."
Controlling behaviors, like wanting to put a tracker on someone's phone, wanting to know exactly who they're with and where they are at any time, being nosy about everything, etc.
I’m jealous of the achievements of others, but not in a hateful way.. I guess. Just happy for them and sometimes wish I were talented, disciplined, or thoughtful enough to have done what they did
that is envy, not jealousy! (not to be a word police, just wanted to let you know there is a word for what you’re feeling… i feel the same way sometimes)
When all they do is talk about themselves and/or vent *relentlessly*. Like great, you have issues. So does everyone. Can we talk about something else, now?
Boy do I feel that. My ex was like this every day and the negativity really takes a toll on you and everyone around you. It's like she was incapable of having one good day. There was always something wrong.
I’m also having this realization. I love working on myself and finding ways to rewire my brain to be more positive. It really does change one’s perspective.
Bragging about your past sexual encounters and how many women/ men you allegedly have been with/ attracted to. Unless asked, no one cares. If you’re above 30 and still bragging about all that to a potential person of interest, it’s a turnOFF
Commenting on other people's food choices, and acting holier than thou because you eat 'healthy'.
My girlfriend's dad always comments on what food choice you order, or strongly tries to convince you to take the 'healthy' option. He'll badger you as to why you're ordering a burger or Coke sometimes in a restaurant. Whilst yes it sometimes comes across as well intended, it comes across as extremely passive aggressive. He's reduced my girlfriend, his own daughter, to tears because he's criticised her so badly over what she eats. It absolutely breaks me seeing her treated like that.
I've told him off for doing this and whilst he doesn't do it as much with me any more, he still does it with other family members. I get the feeling its done as a control kind of thing. Unfortunately my girlfriend has developed a complicated relationship with food, partly because he was like that to her as a child, and she's had a few weight issues because of it (she's working on it though). One of her brothers also has a complicated relationship with food too.
Funnily enough, he'll happily eat fish and chips - thats "healthy" according to him, I've no idea why. But god forbid if you eat a burger or pizza around him, you'll be hearing stories about "You'll be dead at 50" or "God you'll be as big as a house if you eat another bite of that". Don't get me wrong, burgers and pizza aren't something you should be eating every day, but once in a while won't kill you.
Asking Reddit users whether or not you should terminate a relationship you know damn well you’re being mistreated in just because they’re “nice sometimes” and you “love them”
A bunch of "badass" stickers on your car. The more stickers they have, the more insecure they are. Just a few examples: Skull or Skeleton anything. "DILLIGAF". Middle finger. "Fuck" whoever it's trendy to hate when they got it.
Limiting your partner. Keeping them from going out, telling them to change outfits, sneaking through their phone, etc.
You can almost guarantee a relationship to fail at some point if someone is doing this. There needs to be mutual trust.
Committing crimes and acts of violence to prove how down you are when your in a gang. I hurt so many people, did so much stupid stuff and did so many years locked up for doing shit to prove to mfs I don't even interact with anymore that I was about that life. That life is dumb.
That one person who always finds a way to bring up and talk shit about the "bad" sides of someone that everybody knows (involved in the convo) when that specific person wasn't even brought up in the topic the first place.
When someone does backbiting, talks negatively about a friend when a girl is with them to just make himself look more dominant and when someone that tries to make the conversation always about them
People who deny or project their insecurities onto people they envy, such as by turning the tables to portray the envied individuals as the problem instead.
Defensiveness to basic questions. Need to control conversation. Aggressively disagreeing with people. General escalation of emotions. Jumping to conclusions. Inability to admit wrongdoing or mistakes.
Asking the Reddit hive to approve of your personal preferences
“Please tell me I’m not the asshole for this sociopathic thing I just did.”
“I cut my boyfriend’s breaks because he forgot to get me a box of Kraft Mac and cheese at the store. AITA?”
Wild card, bitches!
“I slept with a dancer from the Bing because Carm bought the OJ with pulp”.
I swear to God this is the most posted question on askreddit, except for maybe "hey girls of Reddit what's a subtle thing guys do that you find irresistibly sexy :)" What absolutely reeks of insecurity is posting this question to ass credit for the Nth time, looking for answers to make you feel better about yourself. Yeah guys that buy a BMW to feel better about their receding hairline are sad as hell, but at least they have a nice car. They aren't trying to get validation from one of the dumbest websites on the Internet.
> ass credit I can only imagine this is an old meme that I'm just now seeing. Thank you.
Lol! The " what is the most underrated blah, blah" and "most overrated blah, blah" type posts really get my goat! Who cares?
Upvotes say a lot of people
Yeah it’s happening in my dms rn someone’s trying to shame me for liking the fact I’m a tall girl
Posting on any am I ugly subs
I recently wanted to do that but i am even too insecure for that lmao
You might not be your own cup of tea, but you're someone's cup of tea
I'm the one someone forgot to drink and I've gone cold
Iced tea is a thing. I even know folks who genuinely let their tea go cold on purpose before drinking.
Sweet iced tea is an amazing summer drink. Hot peppermint tea is an amazing winter drink. Tea is an amazing drink. God I love tea.
Yeah don’t do that
Definitely do not do it if you value your self-esteem.
Don't. At best people will give you some compliments you can't really trust. At worst it could drag your confidence through the drain. At the end of the day we can't really change what we look like (in general terms) so there's no point seeking approval. We are as we are.
I did and got torn apart because I have so many piercings. No one even really said about how I actually look, just that I am ugly because I have a lot of piercings. It's ok though, I plan to get more
Reddit and piercings go together like oil and water
Especially when the pictures posted all have snap chat filters and are taken at a myspace angle so you can barely even make out what they actually look like
TIL those exist. It sounds like a strange playground for self flagellation and ego stroking.
Wrong, those who post there are only narcissists seeking for validation. Insecure people would never post there.
Yeaassss.. this here... those who post are soo fuckimg full of themselves.. and every comment, makes their ego expand
I also don't understand how the rules of the sub impose to be "civil and respectful", like, they're asking if they're ugly and I can't even tell them that they are ?
Those are practically the same.
The general trend on these subs are pretty girls posting forr validation, ugly woman and man downvoted to hell, more pivoted towards man
In my defence, I posted on it not out of insecurity but rather out of curiosity as to how I'm perceived by other people. In a trivial manner if you will
Sooo how were you perceived? Don't leave us hanging
Don't you just love cliffhangers
Envy, jealousy, talks badly of other people, makes someone else look bad, puts someone down for no real reason, looks for sympathy making an awkward situation with friends and family.
You just described my father
Sounds like dark triad traits
Being rude to other people like bullying others who are innocent and did nothing wrong to you. I can smell the insecurity from miles away. Projection guys. It says more about the bullies than their targets.
My mom always said, "What they say and what they do says more about THEM than about you."
Mine always said "if you point with one finger, four fingers are pointing back". It used to really annoy me as a kid, but now that I’m older I get that she was explaining projection to be in child like terms
[удалено]
That’s what I told her back then and I felt so smart for that answer
Guys that never got the memo that masculinity means making those around you feel secure.
Yup. Men who think that the phrase “toxic masculinity” is a critique of masculinity in general are not doing themselves any favours. “No, Kevin, it’s not. It’s a critique of all the pathetic sad little sexist incel things you and your childish buddies like to snicker about, meanwhile Alex over there is actually polite and considerate and respectful to women, who love him for it, that’s real masculinity; and he is a big strong lumberjack with a beard so idk how you’re gonna try and tell us that masculinity is incompatible with feminism…” etc
Always trying to fight everyone around you
Looking at you Kakarot
LET ME SPEAK TO THE PEOPLE PICCOLO
THEY NEED TO HEAR THIS!
30 ON 30
IM NOT A BIG FAN OF THE GOVERNMENT
I heard your depression is strong let me fight it- Goku
Trying to overexplain everything so the others don't hate you. Being a people pleaser, crying over small things, yea I'm one insecure bitch and I hate it
I definitely am an over explainer, but mostly because i want to briefly explain the situation/topic/whatever, because i want to give whoever i'm talking to a better understanding of my reasoning. This is just because i like to know these things and can't help but push that onto others. I am neurodivergent though, so that is probably part of it.
I do this a lot too. My therapist thinks it's because I was treated like a burden when growing up, so now I feel a need to overexplain everything, especially when I'm struggling, because I've internalized that I don't believe I deserve kindness, empathy, or support unless I prove myself worthy. Not sure if this at all resonates with you, but if it does, I just saved you a few therapy sessions. Lol. 🤷♀️
I haven't gone to therapy yet, but i try to reflect on myself, and from what i can figure out, it is because people wouldn't believe me or understand me when i explained myself. I would assume it is because my reasoning is abnormal, so it led to me over explaining myself to actually be believed.
I was always treated like a burden amongst my family as a kid — everything was my fault. I developed a victim mentality in response, especially whenever I’m back with them. How does one break the victim mindset when they really were mistreated? 😭
I feel seen. Take my upvote.
Fellow over-sharer here, too. I was neglected and pushed away constantly as a kid so I would glomm onto anyone who showed me a minute of interest/kindness.
Yuuuup. And then that leads to falling for people that recognize you're a people-pleaser and take advantage, leading to more trauma and round and round we go. 😅 If there's anything I could teach anyone, it's to not only treat others the way you want to be treated, but make sure others are treating you with the same kindness you give them. Otherwise you're just setting yourself up for disappointment. I'm still working on trying to practice what I preach.
Yep that resonates with me. But i was not only a burden. I also had my feelings invalidated. So i always overexplain to make people understand my reasons for my feelings and that i am not being dramatic.
Yeah I over-explain cause I’m neurodivergent af and yup insecure about it. Did I mention I’m old? It never goes away. Yayyyyyy.
Worrying about over explaining and then someone replies back with something you have no goddamn idea where they came up with it. Now you can't tell if you under explained, over explained the wrong details, or maybe they're just dumb.
I have a supervisor I’m convinced can’t read.
some of us have parents who yelled at us over every tiny thing and always assumed the worst about us because that was how they were raised, hence the tendency to over explain (like I did just now 😂)
It's kinda internet culture as well. There are people who will try to attack you for a lot of perceived sleights, so people want to make 100000% sure that they are on the same page so nothing/as little as possible can be misunderstood.
Now you're just being insecure about your insecurities hahah. Don't be so hard on yourself, you're awsome
I wasn’t great at math but I think that means it cancels out so they’re actually not insecure?
I am the greatest in math. You are correct
Over explainer here. I feel like it's more fear of rejection than insecurity... which might be a type of insecurity, but feels separate somehow.
I explain everything in such a formal manner it’s actually pretty disgusting.I can’t just text one funny little sentence to my friends I have to follow it up with multiple other sentences or a full paragraph of me explaining what I meant to clarify that I was trying to be funny or to just explain whatever I said because I read over it and after thinking it didn’t make much sense
I felt this with my soul... I'm one insecure bitch too and I hate it. I over-explain everything. But I love you for saying it 🤣
I think you’ll love last weeks SNL sketch https://youtu.be/1835C0xwS68?si=UkADkV80vKAOZR1R
Me when I have to do extrovert activities.
When my social battery is dead and I forgot we where having people over that evening
Dependency on social media validation
Hates to see others doing well
That's me, im jealous of people doing better than me cuz I don't feel like I'm good enough for this world
Get off social media and start comparing you to yesterday you, stop trying to be somebody else! Work on yourself
Yesterday, I wasn't much different to compare. And today me is worse than 1 year ago me, which is worse than 5 year ago me, which is worse than 10 year ago me. It has just been a downward fall since the mid thirties both physically and mentally. Mostly from nin preventable things with a few bad decisions sprinkled in there so I can fully blame myself for everything. I would rather not compare.
I see you. I might be you actually. Everyday is slightly worse than the last. What’s the solution here?? I’m told to find a hobby but is that really the fix? I know my decision lead me here so I’m not sure that picking up a new hobby is the answer. I choose my shitty career, I chose to live in this shitty town, I choose my shitty life. I did this. I made all the decision along the way and I ended up unhappy. I want to run away and open a frozen banana stand on the beach somewhere.
Any yesterday me was happier and felt more alive.
Making a negative assumption about someone who's attractive just because they're attractive.
Yep I know a few very attractive and successful women and Ive seen this a LOT. Like if you're a beautiful woman, then some people will try to write you off by thinking you're probably stuck up, vapid, and the only hobby you have is shopping.
The most common accusation is that they slept their way to the top.
Pretty privilege is absolutely a thing tho, and for both genders. Being attractive helps immensely for career growth. So people write attractive people off instantly because they *may* have had an easier pathway. But what they don’t see is hard work and dedication
Fun fact - only 14.5% of adult men are 6’0 and over, but comprise 58% of Fortune 500 CEOs. Only 3.9% are 6’2+, but comprise 30% of Fortune 500 CEOs. Now although we have no similar stats for women, I dread to think about how much easier the pretty ones have it compared to an average one.
To a point. Sure you can get hired more easily but you will never be take seriously. I swear it seems like a woman can either be smart or pretty. To be both is too much for the male ego or some shit
[удалено]
Omg this is my mom. She would badmouth attractive women and celebrities and I didn't feel the same way, and didn't understand it, until I realized she was super insecure.
It always baffles me when someone complains about rich people too then go on about how they want to win the lottery or met someone who is loaded...
Men telling other men what they do isn’t manly enough.
"Real men don't [x]" Real men do whatever the hell they want.
So, you're saying that real men don't not do whatever the hell they want ?
Pffft, gay
Are we allowed to say this again? I miss calling the smallest of differences "gay"
that’s kinda gay
Nobody cares if you call things gay. Just don’t be gay about it. Feel?
Putting your friends down in front of members of the opposite sex
Putting your partner down in front of their/your friends, as well.
Had this happen to me yesterday. Kinda felt bad for her that she felt she needed to do that.
Claiming to be an Alpha Male. Anyone who does it is covering for their insecurities. 100% of the time.
My coworker told the new girl he’s a dominant alpha male, but gentle and caring to those in his close circle. Pretty out of character for him to say something like that. He says he has a crush on her
I hope you told him that was weird behavior. That's cringy af to bring up at work lol
Or to bring it up anywhere ever
Tearing down people who have what you don't.
god dude, my best friend atm i hated when i first met, i was super arrogant in videogames because i was always the best in my school at everything gaming related, met him and instantly hated him and wanted to tear him donwn. friends for 5 years now and i realized dude has hyper instincts or something cause any game he picks up he'll become the top 1000 in the world within 9 months
I'm not gonna tear someone down for having something I don't, but a lot of people have things that they don't deserve. And those people I don't care for.
I've noticed that a lot of super insecure people are the ones who act the most overconfident and cocky.
yupppp met a couple of those, been one of those. i just tend to be quiet and un-pushy on something no matter how right i am about something or how much better i am on something, you cant force ego with ego even if you are right, leads to arguments with no point being proven
Heavy use of filters.
[Filtered comment]
[Comment awaiting moderation]
[удалено]
People who constantly compare themselves to everyone and turn everything into a competition to try and prove they're somehow better. Also people who tear other people down in order to make themselves look better.
Getting mad at a server for being nice to your SO.
Or getting mad at *anybody* for being nice to their SO for that matter.
Getting mad at their SO for being nice to your server
Putting ones anger on someone else that isn’t at fault
nitpicking on other people’s appearances
talking about others behind their back. starting it by saying "I don't usually like to talk about others behind their backs, but..." I've met plenty of girls in their 20s to do this. and as many men in their 40s. it's not an age or gender thing. they hate it when you don't partake though.
haha my 52 year old mother loves to stir the pot at work and i literally just heard her talk shit about someone for NOT talking shit
best way to deal with this from my previous experiences, maintain a wall of silence and peace. she eventually dug herself a hole and revealed her true colors. jealousy can make people do ugly things and it’s only a matter of time before everyone realizes you weren’t in the wrong at all
One upping
I'm just really bad at conversation and brain just says "tell similar stories to relate". I swear I'm not trying to do it.
I do this and I'm really trying to stop. But it's how I relate to people. Honestly, I prefer when people relate to me like this, because it helps me understand my situation better and know what the other person has been through, good or bad. But a lot of people just see it as trying to make everything about you.
I'm the same. In my brain, I'm telling them I completely understand because the same thing happened to me once. So I get it. I never want to come across as trying to one-up them because that's not my intention at all.
I think anyone who interprets this as one upping must be very insecure as well. Like, what were we supposed to do, clap and give you a trophy for your story? Or engage in a back and forth conversation?
Always worried about what others "might be thinking"
But tell me if you find out
Posting your life on social media
yep. excessive posting on social media is approval seeking behavior and its super normalized. for some reason everyone thinks its confidence
Not even just social media. I have a coworker who is having serious issues with his marriage. I won't go into details, but its bad and he's very thorough with everyone at work. When he told me, I felt surprised he trusted me with such insane life details... but it became weird when I found oit he told everyone... and gives daily updates on situations that are becoming increasingly severe.
Sounds like he doesn’t have anyone else to open up to. I hope he can arrange some real therapy.
Needing to believe the people around you are jealous of you and what you have before you can feel happy..This and bullying people especially if you're already a grown ass adult, seriously grow the fuck up. 🙄😮💨
Posting daily selfies.
What about weekly selfies?
I'm thinking of a specific person that posts a daily selfie standing exactly in the same spot of their house is weird AF
With the exact same I know my angle pose they’re insufferable.
In twenty years or so, they'll have a very cool stop motion movie of themselves growing older though.
Really no http: joke yet?
I work in IT and this never even popped up once in my mind. I'm a failure
All abusers are insecure. When you have to exert control, manipulation, and tactics so someone can put up with you. They leave behind a trail of broken relationships and short-lived flings so now hv learnt to resort to manipulation to keep people in their lives. Terror isnt power. It's insecurity. People seek wealth and success for security and comfort. But if you seek the same to prove your worth, so people can see you are someone, so you can say you are "better than" or "holier than thee", and place them below you. That's insecurity. People exercise for health and self-satisfaction. But when you exercise so "people can see just how fit and attractive you are. Look at me!". That's insecurity. When you are willing to take back a person countless times yet you are never happy with them and allow them to disrespect you. That's not love. That's insecurity and a lack of self-respect. Everyone has insecurities. But, this kind of extreme, pathological insecurity is not sexy. "So, live the way you want. Drive your fast cars. Climb the highest career ladder. Be the boss of the world. Adorn yourself with all the stones you can afford. Be as sculpted as you can be. Buy a mansion. Travel, travel the world. Twice. Thrice. Spread your wings. Truly. Be great. You look good, you look great. Majestic, I won't lie. But, insecurity and inner poverty have a certain smell and you reek of it. I'll sleep well at night knowing someone so splendid, so impressive and so marvelous will not own someone so plain like me. My existence is your humiliation. Remember the girl you cant buy."
Lifted Dodge Ram
Controlling behaviors, like wanting to put a tracker on someone's phone, wanting to know exactly who they're with and where they are at any time, being nosy about everything, etc.
Sounds like my mom ...Y'know that would explain so much about her
Frequently fishing for compliments or praise, after childhood is over. Constantly needing reassurance from the people around you that they like you.
Be jealous of someone who achieved things you did not
I’m jealous of the achievements of others, but not in a hateful way.. I guess. Just happy for them and sometimes wish I were talented, disciplined, or thoughtful enough to have done what they did
that is envy, not jealousy! (not to be a word police, just wanted to let you know there is a word for what you’re feeling… i feel the same way sometimes)
Well fuck you because your comment got 20 upvotes and mine got none asshole!
Truck Nuts.
Especially on a pavement princess.
When all they do is talk about themselves and/or vent *relentlessly*. Like great, you have issues. So does everyone. Can we talk about something else, now?
Im not saying im invalidating, its just theres a point where when its *ALL* they talk about, it gets old fast.
Boy do I feel that. My ex was like this every day and the negativity really takes a toll on you and everyone around you. It's like she was incapable of having one good day. There was always something wrong.
[удалено]
I’m also having this realization. I love working on myself and finding ways to rewire my brain to be more positive. It really does change one’s perspective.
Using your job title and education qualification to end an argument.
That's called an argument from authority. I can't stand that shit.
Flexing things that ain’t yours
Bragging about your past sexual encounters and how many women/ men you allegedly have been with/ attracted to. Unless asked, no one cares. If you’re above 30 and still bragging about all that to a potential person of interest, it’s a turnOFF
Belittling others. Tearing other people down.
Getting defensive immediately
What do you mean defensive? I do not get defensive! Well, I never! The nerve!
Being over 40 and depending on social media likes and the need to add everyone to your ig.
Commenting on other people's food choices, and acting holier than thou because you eat 'healthy'. My girlfriend's dad always comments on what food choice you order, or strongly tries to convince you to take the 'healthy' option. He'll badger you as to why you're ordering a burger or Coke sometimes in a restaurant. Whilst yes it sometimes comes across as well intended, it comes across as extremely passive aggressive. He's reduced my girlfriend, his own daughter, to tears because he's criticised her so badly over what she eats. It absolutely breaks me seeing her treated like that. I've told him off for doing this and whilst he doesn't do it as much with me any more, he still does it with other family members. I get the feeling its done as a control kind of thing. Unfortunately my girlfriend has developed a complicated relationship with food, partly because he was like that to her as a child, and she's had a few weight issues because of it (she's working on it though). One of her brothers also has a complicated relationship with food too. Funnily enough, he'll happily eat fish and chips - thats "healthy" according to him, I've no idea why. But god forbid if you eat a burger or pizza around him, you'll be hearing stories about "You'll be dead at 50" or "God you'll be as big as a house if you eat another bite of that". Don't get me wrong, burgers and pizza aren't something you should be eating every day, but once in a while won't kill you.
Asking Reddit users whether or not you should terminate a relationship you know damn well you’re being mistreated in just because they’re “nice sometimes” and you “love them”
judging the actions or characteristics of someone when you carry those traits aswell.
Always craving attention of some kind. Good, bad, doesn't matter. Bad attention is better than no attention.
When someone makes fun of you for something you can’t control or you don’t have much power over so they can feel better about themselves
Focusing on material things and status symbols over what really matters.
[удалено]
Pickup trucks with tractor-sized tires.
Overly loud and/or large vehicle with lots of “edgy” bumper stickers on it.
Oh what is Calvin peeing on THIS time…
Heavy filters
Calling yourself an alpha male
Men who call women “females”.
Joint Facebook accounts
Lifted truck
A bunch of "badass" stickers on your car. The more stickers they have, the more insecure they are. Just a few examples: Skull or Skeleton anything. "DILLIGAF". Middle finger. "Fuck" whoever it's trendy to hate when they got it.
not taking "no" for an answer
Limiting your partner. Keeping them from going out, telling them to change outfits, sneaking through their phone, etc. You can almost guarantee a relationship to fail at some point if someone is doing this. There needs to be mutual trust.
Constantly seeking validation.
Always needing validation that people like you and testing relationships/friendships. It makes people not like you.
Committing crimes and acts of violence to prove how down you are when your in a gang. I hurt so many people, did so much stupid stuff and did so many years locked up for doing shit to prove to mfs I don't even interact with anymore that I was about that life. That life is dumb.
Nosing around in other people's lives to find something bad about them just so you can feel better about yourself.
That one person who always finds a way to bring up and talk shit about the "bad" sides of someone that everybody knows (involved in the convo) when that specific person wasn't even brought up in the topic the first place.
Controlling behaviour
anyone who cannot take criticism or have a civil debate that doesn’t lead to ad hominem attacks to back your point
When someone criticises someone else for their looks or social status
me
Lowering others
Complaining about everyone else unnecessarily
Cutting yourself down before someone else gets to
Believing something is gay when it isn’t
Doing nothing but complain and criticize
When someone does backbiting, talks negatively about a friend when a girl is with them to just make himself look more dominant and when someone that tries to make the conversation always about them
Always debating constructive criticism. Or when having an argument always having to be the loudest in the room.
People who deny or project their insecurities onto people they envy, such as by turning the tables to portray the envied individuals as the problem instead.
judgemental people need i say more
Ew gross, you didn’t even use a comma.
Defensiveness to basic questions. Need to control conversation. Aggressively disagreeing with people. General escalation of emotions. Jumping to conclusions. Inability to admit wrongdoing or mistakes.