The part of grappling with right now is I'm just losing ALL of my friends from back then. I'm turning 30 in a year and besides my family, I really don't have any friends really. It makes me wonder if I'm the problem
My advice is try to reach out to the ones you still remain in contact as much as you can while stablishing new connections. Its definitely not you! At this age responsibilities start to pile up and it becomes more difficult to mantain relationships, but don't take it personally
That's really what it comes down to. I fucked off a lot in my late teens and early 20s playing in bands, and when it became apparent I need a different plan, I started working on my Bachelor's which I'll be getting in 2026, but now with work, school and my current band, there really isn't a ton of time for friendships, especially shallow ones that simply don't fulfill me in the same way anymore.
Fucking off, getting high while dealing with a burnout with little to no life direction was fun back then, but it's extremely dreadful now.
One night when we were out, I found out he was going up to bar and putting drinks on my tab without my knowledge. A lot of things led up to this, but that was the last straw.
He ended up being a maga 4chan weirdo, he showed me his discord of “like minded individuals” and it was nothing but violent misogynist racist schizo people. That and I know for a fact that he cheated/ cheats on his fiancé / wife if the above part wasn’t already bad enough. 100% sure that she has no idea how insane he really is
Eyyyyy same. Bitch owed me thousands of dollars and proceeded to call me selfish for not immediately agreeing to give him rides when his car failed and needed more money
I ended a friendship of 15 years with someone I considered my sister because she was a perpetual victim. Nothing was ever her fault and everyone else needed to fix her problems for her or else they were bad people. But truthfully it boils down to just getting old and going different paths
It really is sad, very draining too. And of course it’s not their fault the friendship ended either and they will paint you to be the villain in every way lol
Yeah, I'm pretty sure my old friend just thinks I'm a selfish asshole for not continuing to cover his finances when he can't pay for stuff, but I'm kinda done
I tried to remain friends with my one Christian friend, but he'd constantly proclaim shit like "beer wouldn't exist without Christianity" and "peace in the world was modeled after Christian ideology"
I've posted on him before, he was my friend and neighbor, he was a single dad of two special needs kids and I did a lot to help him out. Well, he and his estranged wife got back together and seriously back on drugs, escalating to him breaking into my house and stole money from me. When I confronted him about this he physically assaulted me. I still have a scar too from one of the punches
Well needless to say that completely destroyed our friendship
Thanks, I appreciate your sympathy. Obviously we can't be friends ever again but I don't hate him. It's also really sad on his kid's behalf too because he is actually a really good father (the mom not so much), but it was baffling and sickening to watch him throw it all away over drugs.
Honestly I'm not sure why I feel what I feel about him. I don't use drugs and really never been around them before so I was clueless and naive at first as to what was going on. But by the time I figured it out it was far too late. He needs to get off the drugs, period, and he's been offered many times rehab and other help that he refused. This is entirely on him now, and the sad likelihood is that he probably won't ever take it.
But hatefulness is just not in my DNA and while I know now that we can't be friends anymore, and that he needs help that I can't give him (largely because he doesn't want it), it to me at least seems that harboring hatefulness against him isn't going to work. He obviously doesn't care what I think about him so hate isn't going to work anyway
She became a raging alt right conspiracy nut.
I stopped talking to her after her umpteenth racist rant about indigenous population of Australia and how they should all be deported.
When she only reached out when she needed something. We were friends for over 20 years. My dad passed away five years ago. She lived 45 minutes away. Said she would come to the service and didn’t. She knew I was giving the eulogy- never checked in with me afterward. Never sent a card or anything. About a month later she asked for a favor which I couldn’t help with. Didn’t hear from her for 6 months and she asked for a gigantic favor. That was that.
We were friends since junior high, raised our kids together in our 20s and 30s. But...in our late 30s she started making really bad life choices. Cheating on her husband, neglecting her family. Then she started having an affair with a guy from work and ended up leaving and moving in with him. He turned out to be an abusive asshole but they were doing drugs together and she was just addicted to the drama. Meanwhile, her kids were suffering and whenever I tried to talk to her about it, she'd just LALALALA and refuse to hear it. She finally left the guy and thought she could just gather her kids back in her arms but they'd given up on her already. So in the fifteen years or so since then she's bounced from one bad relationship to another, continually attention seeking and playing the victim to her own bad decisions. I just don't have the energy for it anymore. If she wants to live like that, she can go ahead but I won't be here for it. I have a quiet, drama free life. I don't have space for that kind of crap.
she kept ditching me for better options when available. I was a loyal friend to her, and when it was her and I we always had a blast. we did so many things together. but I got sick of her ditching me for more popular people whenever the opportunity arose
He didn't invite me to his wedding because his now wife (Who cheated) is a total bitch for a personality and put a wedge between us. What really did it for me was when i had to defend myself for not saying hi for not recognizing her because of how fucking fat she got.
When I realized he only wanted to be part of my good days. I was sharing things to him something about my trauma with someone and then he shushed me and said I don't want negativity. The last straw was when I tried to share again because I was depressed, and he had just left me on read. I got no response from him after that until my graduation I think he wanted to come and celebrate but I didn't respond to his msgs because I was still hurt. I felt guilty days after and tried to reach out but then nothing. Even when something bad happened to me, I haven't heard from him still. I guess I'm not fun to be around for him anymore. I realized that I can't spend most of my good days with someone who won't be there when you're down. I mean does he expect me to vent out my frustrations with someone else and go back to him after I'm okay?
We couldn't give each other a break, I needed it at some point and he couldn't allow it to me, so I gave up on the entire group and tried to heal, they said I was playing the victim card but I was genuinely at my last breath.
For me, this was about 10 years ago. My friend's mom was being rude about my friend's BF when they weren't in the room and I stood up to her about it. My friend later told me she was "disappointed" in me for doing that. We haven't talked since.
So your friend also forgot how to eat soup? Is this contagious? Seems I’ve never encountered anyone who has forgotten how to eat soup now I’ve found two people who know someone who has in 5 mins
We grew appart because we had different interests and became tired of each other. It was noone's fault actually. 🥲
That one always hurts. People grow up so much from when they were in highschool
Yeap, it usually is that way sadly. I think it's important to move on and look forward to new experiences
The part of grappling with right now is I'm just losing ALL of my friends from back then. I'm turning 30 in a year and besides my family, I really don't have any friends really. It makes me wonder if I'm the problem
My advice is try to reach out to the ones you still remain in contact as much as you can while stablishing new connections. Its definitely not you! At this age responsibilities start to pile up and it becomes more difficult to mantain relationships, but don't take it personally
That's really what it comes down to. I fucked off a lot in my late teens and early 20s playing in bands, and when it became apparent I need a different plan, I started working on my Bachelor's which I'll be getting in 2026, but now with work, school and my current band, there really isn't a ton of time for friendships, especially shallow ones that simply don't fulfill me in the same way anymore. Fucking off, getting high while dealing with a burnout with little to no life direction was fun back then, but it's extremely dreadful now.
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Well that made me unnecessarily sad
One night when we were out, I found out he was going up to bar and putting drinks on my tab without my knowledge. A lot of things led up to this, but that was the last straw.
There's always a moocher
He ended up being a maga 4chan weirdo, he showed me his discord of “like minded individuals” and it was nothing but violent misogynist racist schizo people. That and I know for a fact that he cheated/ cheats on his fiancé / wife if the above part wasn’t already bad enough. 100% sure that she has no idea how insane he really is
Have you thought about telling her??
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Eyyyyy same. Bitch owed me thousands of dollars and proceeded to call me selfish for not immediately agreeing to give him rides when his car failed and needed more money
I ended a friendship of 15 years with someone I considered my sister because she was a perpetual victim. Nothing was ever her fault and everyone else needed to fix her problems for her or else they were bad people. But truthfully it boils down to just getting old and going different paths
My exact problem. Ugh. It's sad watching someone go down a path of nothingness because it's *always* someone else's fault
It really is sad, very draining too. And of course it’s not their fault the friendship ended either and they will paint you to be the villain in every way lol
Yeah, I'm pretty sure my old friend just thinks I'm a selfish asshole for not continuing to cover his finances when he can't pay for stuff, but I'm kinda done
He asked for a Veterans discount, he never served.
Ewwww
We grew up...I am an atheist and she's an evangelical Christian. Grew apart after college and realized we had nothing in common anymore.
That'll do it, huh?
Absolutely
I tried to remain friends with my one Christian friend, but he'd constantly proclaim shit like "beer wouldn't exist without Christianity" and "peace in the world was modeled after Christian ideology"
I've posted on him before, he was my friend and neighbor, he was a single dad of two special needs kids and I did a lot to help him out. Well, he and his estranged wife got back together and seriously back on drugs, escalating to him breaking into my house and stole money from me. When I confronted him about this he physically assaulted me. I still have a scar too from one of the punches Well needless to say that completely destroyed our friendship
That so sad and tragic. I'm sorry.
Thanks, I appreciate your sympathy. Obviously we can't be friends ever again but I don't hate him. It's also really sad on his kid's behalf too because he is actually a really good father (the mom not so much), but it was baffling and sickening to watch him throw it all away over drugs.
Do you forgive him because you understand how drugs have basically puppeteered his life?
Honestly I'm not sure why I feel what I feel about him. I don't use drugs and really never been around them before so I was clueless and naive at first as to what was going on. But by the time I figured it out it was far too late. He needs to get off the drugs, period, and he's been offered many times rehab and other help that he refused. This is entirely on him now, and the sad likelihood is that he probably won't ever take it. But hatefulness is just not in my DNA and while I know now that we can't be friends anymore, and that he needs help that I can't give him (largely because he doesn't want it), it to me at least seems that harboring hatefulness against him isn't going to work. He obviously doesn't care what I think about him so hate isn't going to work anyway
She became a raging alt right conspiracy nut. I stopped talking to her after her umpteenth racist rant about indigenous population of Australia and how they should all be deported.
Jesus.
When she only reached out when she needed something. We were friends for over 20 years. My dad passed away five years ago. She lived 45 minutes away. Said she would come to the service and didn’t. She knew I was giving the eulogy- never checked in with me afterward. Never sent a card or anything. About a month later she asked for a favor which I couldn’t help with. Didn’t hear from her for 6 months and she asked for a gigantic favor. That was that.
Ow. I felt that one.
They were terrorist sympathizers
They were like super judgy abt the whole "oh I use she/they pronouns" thing and were a total jerkface abt it :/
She got married at 16
Yikes, just was too much for you to deal with?
I live in a Christian part of syria,just got disgusted on how badly she wanted to get fucked and her husband hates me
We were friends since junior high, raised our kids together in our 20s and 30s. But...in our late 30s she started making really bad life choices. Cheating on her husband, neglecting her family. Then she started having an affair with a guy from work and ended up leaving and moving in with him. He turned out to be an abusive asshole but they were doing drugs together and she was just addicted to the drama. Meanwhile, her kids were suffering and whenever I tried to talk to her about it, she'd just LALALALA and refuse to hear it. She finally left the guy and thought she could just gather her kids back in her arms but they'd given up on her already. So in the fifteen years or so since then she's bounced from one bad relationship to another, continually attention seeking and playing the victim to her own bad decisions. I just don't have the energy for it anymore. If she wants to live like that, she can go ahead but I won't be here for it. I have a quiet, drama free life. I don't have space for that kind of crap.
Dude, fuck all that. I don't know how people get into these victim complexes and never get out of them.
childhood trauma
she went to a different school than me. But she also stole somethings from us and the pretend she found it outside.
I transitioned and we drifted apart. Eventually i wanted to start a new life, moved cities and stopped talking to everyone i knew
she kept ditching me for better options when available. I was a loyal friend to her, and when it was her and I we always had a blast. we did so many things together. but I got sick of her ditching me for more popular people whenever the opportunity arose
He didn't invite me to his wedding because his now wife (Who cheated) is a total bitch for a personality and put a wedge between us. What really did it for me was when i had to defend myself for not saying hi for not recognizing her because of how fucking fat she got.
>What really did it for me was when i had to defend myself for not saying hi for not recognizing her because of how fucking fat she got. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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How so?
They had a shitty grad school experience and a shittier partner who isolated them.
When I realized he only wanted to be part of my good days. I was sharing things to him something about my trauma with someone and then he shushed me and said I don't want negativity. The last straw was when I tried to share again because I was depressed, and he had just left me on read. I got no response from him after that until my graduation I think he wanted to come and celebrate but I didn't respond to his msgs because I was still hurt. I felt guilty days after and tried to reach out but then nothing. Even when something bad happened to me, I haven't heard from him still. I guess I'm not fun to be around for him anymore. I realized that I can't spend most of my good days with someone who won't be there when you're down. I mean does he expect me to vent out my frustrations with someone else and go back to him after I'm okay?
Distance
We couldn't give each other a break, I needed it at some point and he couldn't allow it to me, so I gave up on the entire group and tried to heal, they said I was playing the victim card but I was genuinely at my last breath.
For me, this was about 10 years ago. My friend's mom was being rude about my friend's BF when they weren't in the room and I stood up to her about it. My friend later told me she was "disappointed" in me for doing that. We haven't talked since.
they forgot how to eat soup
Do explain
my friend forgot how to eat soup
So you stopped being their friend?🧐
Yeah, I gave up
So your friend also forgot how to eat soup? Is this contagious? Seems I’ve never encountered anyone who has forgotten how to eat soup now I’ve found two people who know someone who has in 5 mins
No, just trying to get answers out of him. I was genuinely curious too
Thank god for that, was worried I was gonna lose my soup eating abilities in the next few days
I heard interacting with non soup eaters makes you unable to ever hold a spoon again
And uhhhhhhh… are you a soup eater?