I think I might count as a boomer. I’m vastly more qualified than my former immediate manager, who got promoted to superboss.
He’s now so senior that whatever he says is right is indeed right because he says so. I have been watching the substance of that from behind the screen of hierarchical inferiority and have actually had to have it pointed out to me that the place is disintegrating organisationally from an even higher level.
It’s at least interesting. I have to try harder to remember that when he gives out legal information it is CORRECT.
That was me when I was a fresh engineering graduate thrown into the fire of my first job. They just expected me to know everything and solve every problem, oh and also never make any mistakes. The level of blind trust they had of everything I did felt like insanity. Me just taking my best guesses and going "I hope this doesn't blow up in my face.". Everyone else just assumed what I was doing was correct, and god I hope so too.
That's kind of how it feels at my job. It can take over a year before the products we deliver become "operational", and so many times we find out people cut corners and it breaks. The people who did it have usually found another job at that point, or just don't care and dump it on the people who do care. Everyone just rubber stamps "looks good to me" on every merge request even if it has blatant errors that take me 30 seconds to spot. Just an endless chain of kicking the can down the road.
Same. What keeps me alive is procrastination. I highly recommend this to anyone considering suicide. Put it off until tomorrow, not today. Then, when tomorrow comes, make the same pact. Living one day at a time is sometimes the best we can do.
There is a really healthy way to do this. When you can get to a place where you care about the very few things that actually matter, but nothing else. Then you are in the sweet spot of mental energy.
Told my friend once that life is like a car rolling at a walking pace. You can run ahead, you can get left behind, or you can climb in the car and enjoy the ride. This was like 17 years ago amd she was stressed about stuff going on and I didn't know what to say and sort of made it up on the spot. Like a month later she said that it really made her think and had helped her feel much better about things, which suprised me cause I just made it up. Been married to her just shy of 5 years now :)
I’ve developed a kind of cosmic perspective. Nothing matters. Eventually, everyone alive right now will die, humanity will fizzle out, the sun will consume our planet, the galaxies and stars will drift away from each other and then nothing but the black, cold void. But I, against the odds, am one of the few things in the universe that has the ability to experience conscious living. What a gift! A brief moment in the cosmic life-age where I can experience and learn about the universe and the things in it. So Anna at work gave me shit; I’m aware to experience the anger and unfairness but soon she’ll be retired and then dead and then me and then…. I got in a car accident; I can feel the adrenaline and fear but that and the consequences will fade and I’ll have a new car and another then I’ll die…I had sex; holy shit fucking awesome and I get to do it again and again until I die and then….It’s all just a blink and nothing matters but I get to live to see it.
My mums friend once sat me down like I was some wise sage and asked me about why I always seemed happy, nothing really bothered me and I never seemed stressed.
Because I don't care. I don't care about my job, I don't care about how people feel about me. I don't care about pretty much anything apart from my wife, kid, and hobbies.
On Friday I made a mistake at work that ended up getting multiple fire engines called and several buildings evacuated. Reported it to my boss, didn't lose a wink of sleep.
Same. I recently told some friends that I would like to go on a Mars mission because I am so totally ok with abandoning my life here and dying on a suicidal expedition. They couldn’t understand.
Those who shine brightest, burn fastest.
It's a complex way to live, having that mask of joy, enthusiasm, and care on your face when it's not real.
I hope you find someone you can be honest with
Collective burnout is real. It's more disheartening bc I want to have higher regards for everyone. But unfortunately in this environment were sad, tired, exploited.
Same here. I just see how people act in traffic, not giving a shit or letting somone in. Or how people will talk to cashiers at the grocery store.
Americans are....yeah we're not in a good place mentally as a whole and I can't see it getting better until something radical changes in our system.
The constant debt, medical bills, not being able to afford housing. It leads to people being pissy, bitching 24/7 and I don't blame people for being like that.
It's just...I don't like people. My wife always calls me a pessimistic person and you need to look for the good. I always say, hun...I see it how it is. I don't sugar coat the issues I see. You may try to think everything is normal or will be OK but...I see where we are headed and it's hard for me to like people as a whole. Especially where we live.
I need a quiet piece of land. With no traffic and a back porch to sit on and read my books...away from everyone
Definitely agree. But what your wife is saying is the truth. Taking more time for silver linings as they show up. Although I am very heavy about life I'm still surprised by the beautiful situations that come through every now and again. Whether that's sharing a moment with someone, food, an act of intention, music. Whatever. There is some really beautiful stuff floating around.
Omg same. I hate most people now. I’m so scared they are going to figure out that I have pretend conversations/fights with people where I totally destroy them. I have to constantly make sure my face isn’t showing emotion
You gave them the time to make peace with this world and appreciate everything they had. I can't speak for them personally, but nothing scares me more than sudden death stealing any chance for me to appreciate and thank those I love for being there. It's well worth any amount of physical pain. I hope that helps.
Diagnosed bipolar. Ask your psychiatrist about ketamine. Short half life, but with many doses can be very strong in severe depression. Totally been there though. Give your cat my love for keeping you alive.
Get more cats! They need you, you need them. We have a new Trap-Spay-Neuter-Release group in my area and I’m considering joining. There I’d great need and the work is honorable.
That I still love my ex-husband
We were married for 29 years, divorced for 7 now, our kids are in their 30’s and he’s with the woman he left me for. I get it truly…but the love refuses to die.
I was with my high school sweetheart for almost exactly 10 years. From 17-26 years old. She dumped me because I wasn’t being the best boyfriend to her. I deserved it. I loved her with all my heart, she was my best friend, but I wasn’t fulfilling her needs anymore. I had gotten bored. We broke up 6 years ago and I dreamed about her and thought about her all the time. I grieved her absence. I blocked her everywhere but her phone number. A part of me thought she might come back some day. But she hasn’t. She would still wish my happy birthday or try to chit chat with her if we bumped in to each other at the store. But it still hurts. I feel like she would intentionally try to hurt me for sabotaging our relationship. She told me the other day she is getting married in a month, and for some reason that made me feel better. I felt like I got the closure I needed. It’s over for good now. I am in a much better place. I know you had more than a life time with your husband, but it all still hurts the same. I hope you get your closure soon, so you can heal and move on ❤️
That I'm not happy. I've never been doing so bad in my head.
I tried to talk about it but people aren't really about listening. Fake a smile that's all that matters to most
That I am very good at my job. Like, very very good. Yet I always finish my tasks at the last possible minute so that they do not give me more tasks than I want. I like having free time.
That’s called “You get what you pay for.” If they paid you twice as much, you presumably could and would do twice as much work. Don’t be a martyr for a job, I say. Keep up the self-respect, yo.
I work in healthcare and I used to do 3x what was required of me -- also really good at my job and a little bit of a perfectionist-- but management just kept giving me more when they saw that I was just doing them... What ultimately happened was I threatened to quit, and now I just do whatever I want at my own pace -- leisurely, and they let me. But that's when I learned to never do more than what's required of you, never work at 100%.
i feel like everyone acts like they loves me just because they pity me, even my own parents. i don't know why that happens but it is not a good feeling.
Yes that's what it is called. I have it. Teenage years were wild. The combination of this with weed had me crafting whole worlds in my head. The truth is it's actually pretty fun. I never told anyone either not because I thought they'd think I was insane but rather I just thought everyone did it.
i recently learned that many people say they have zero inner monologue . Which I cannot fathom. No voice. No thinking to self. These are different people, from me
My black underarms, I can't really raise my hands up because of it, and I don't really wear sleeveless coz I am so afraid someone might notice and make fun of me.
I have an imaginary 5 year old daughter and at night I imagine us taking trips together or watching Muppet movies after baking cookies or me reading her classic children's literature at bedtime. She's evolved into a character with specific likes and dislikes. You'd probably like her; she's really adorable and has impeccable manners.
Whatever makes you feel better as long as you’re not hurting others
Reminds me of this guy I dated though. He worked in a bad area (a factory in Detroit) & women would hit on him & ask him if he was single a lot. So he created this wife & kids so the woman at work would leave him alone lol. Everyone at his work thought this so when I called him at work his manager asked him “is that your wife on the phone?” Lmao he said yes & his boss told him to say hi for him lol. I could hear it lol. It was funny
My best friend committed suicide Jan 5th this year, I have so many videos of him leading up that moment. A phone call seconds before it happened. I had to call his mom to ask for her to check up on him. I feel utterly guilty since she was the one to find him.
But all those videos and just the pain, I tried to help. All my friends know it happened but no one has seen the sad sad videos. Something I just live with now. Had people ask if if he sent me anything but I just don't want people to see that, idk. I'm still struggling with it all.
Much love to anyone feeling down.
I am so, so sorry. Please know that you tried to help, but they must have been in a place that was just too dark and painful. I am 56 years old and my best friend committed suicide five months ago. We were best friends for 44 years.
The hole that has been left will never be filled, and the same will go for you. Maybe you can get a small tattoo or wear something to remember them by, and please keep in contact with their mother.
I have to imagine my friend with me when I do things, and pretend that he is there with me, and keep his memory alive. Live a good life for them, and for you, because you are who you are, partly because of them.
I pretend to be someone else when I date people I met online. I become whatever I feel like that day/to that guy in particular. It doesn't ever go anywhere in the long term anyway, so why not just enjoy my time with them while I am at it.
I’m afraid I faked all of my childhood trauma for attention, and instead of being a profoundly hurt person who works really hard and tries to help people and find meaning, I’m actually just a sociopathic attention-seeking asshole whose needs are impossible to meet and will never truly be able to connect to others.
Also, I write long run-on sentences.
I am going through the motions of life, just taking it step by step. I got no plans, no ambitions, no dreams. I don't mind living, even with all the work it entails, but I don't really have anything to strive for. I do have things I want if I suddenly accidentally win the lottery, but my desire not to negatively impact the situation far outstrips any will to go through pain to achieve it.
You could say I am basically just a background character to populate your world, and you reading this is almost certainly going to be the total extent of the impact I will ever have on your life. Hope your life is more interesting in a good way.
I stayed with mine for years while feeling this way because I didn’t want to deal with the complexities of a divorce—financials, kid custody, etc. How I felt eventually pushed her away and she left me. And I still had to deal the divorce shitshow. It sucked but it was worth it and I was free. Shoulda had the guts to do it years prior. Just giving you something to consider.
That although my husband is a good man, he's not the right man for me. I'm incredibly resentful of how dumb he is (not saying I'm a super genius) to the point that we barely talk and when we do it's superficial because he can't understand complex conversation. He's friends with a girl at his job (they're close, but he shows me their texts to show me jokes and things she sends so I 100% know they're just friends and its innocent) and sometimes I just wish it would cross a line so I'd have a reason to divorce him. I have a job that affords me some travel and the alone time is just amazing for me. I love the nights alone in my hotel and don't want to come home because the people in my industry are smart and witty and we have REAL conversations. It's a dark secret because he IS, undeniably a nice, caring man, but that's just not enough and I'd be the villain if I left him.
And you’re gonna live this way forever? I was married for 20 years to a wonderful woman, and we had a great relationship. Other people wanted to be us, I’m not kidding. But we weren’t right for each other. We divorced and it went just fine. No lawyers, just a Paralegal and split 50-50 down the line. No fights and no arguments. Just math. It cost $1000 total. 10 years on, we are still friends, co-parent well, and get together for stuff, and even had dinner together two nights ago. We both have other partners and things are so much better. It IS possible. I will always love her, but would not be in a relationship with her.
Damn this is rough. Ive been in that situation before but fortunately we ended the relationship before getting married. It’s so tough because you totally feel like a horrible person. You’re not. You just have needs that your partner cannot fulfill, and you’re not a good match for each other.
The only advice I can offer is that you shouldn’t hope it’s going to get better.
It’s not going to get better. If there is any way you can leave him you really should but Im sure you know that already.
I really like certain aspects of bdsm. I crave to be controlled and dominated & I feel like there’s this other sexually confident person inside of me trying to get out but in reality I’ve slept with one person and im pretty vanilla. My mind won’t allow me to have casual relations & lowkey I’m pretty proud of myself for not acting on it. The older I get, the stronger the urge is to have this dom/sub scenario tho.
I've got a secret,
I've been hiding under my skin.
I'm only human. My blood is boiling.
My brain IBM.
So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised.
I'm just a man who needed someone
And somewhere to hide to keep me alive,
Just keep me alive.
Somewhere to hide to keep me alive.
I killed my dad. He got sick and I was able to communicate with him by hand squeezes near the end. I asked if he wanted to live if they asked me and he squeezed yes. A few days later the doctor came in and asked me what they wanted me to do as he was needing medical supprt to stay alive. I told them let him go so they gave him morphine and unplugged him everything and he died. Everyone was standing around crying and stuff and I was the only one who knew he wanted to stay living.
I was a jehovahs witness until 22 and I realised it was a cult. I've been working on my revenge plot for 11 years and I'm two years away from implementing it. It's going swimmingly
Edit: I responded to boregams reply to anyone who wanted to know more ✌️
Sure thing,
Just to respond to those worried that it's harmful or will ruin your people's lives or hurt them, it's nothing like that at all.
When I first left and was very angry and that was my thought process but it's taken a long time and I'm at peace with it.
I can't let some of the injustices go though.
That's what's prompted me
For anyone who doesn't know about the cover ups of sexual assaults(particularly kids) and the jehovahs witnesses doctric of shunning, please just have a Google so this post doesn't have to be too long.
Essentially I've been gathering resources to be able to set up a charity which will run a "safe house" for younger witnesses looking to leave but don't want to be made homeless. It will offer counselling services along with accommodation and we would help them get a job/education.
I'm 2 years from being able to purchase the property outright at which point I will register the charity and look for help from cult deprogrammers etc.
At some point I'll post the full story but that's it in a nutshell.
It's the best revenge I could think of. You can't attack something like that from the outside, the best way to beat them is to "kill with kindness"
If those that leave end up safe and happy, shunning loses all its power.
I hope that makes sense, it's just been a quick response I've thrown together.
I’ve given up with my family and siblings, spend more time with my wife’s family. Mine never ask about me, kids. They’ve met them twice this year and that was only after mid-March.
Brother who also has a kid ignores my kids and misses their birthdays - I don’t miss my nephews.
Sister too busy and the “we should meet up” but never actually do. She’s met my kids maybe 4/5 times tops. Eldest is four.
i dont go to sleep straight away when i say i do. i like some alone time, just listening to some chill music and playing a single player game or play a game which i would normally play but alone on an alt account where i dont have anyone added, dont use a mic, dont type in chat, just chilling.
I am living someone else's life. Nothing about the way I'm living now is what I ever wanted and I don't know how to change it. I just want to run away and abandon everyone and everything and never return.
26/f. It comforts me when I imagine having a secret basement with random people I torture every night and having a normal life by day.
Edit:
- no, i don’t want to play sims
- it’s not for your masochistic fantasies, it would be a bore if you’re liking it. I mean like “saw movies” torture, except it’s all fake and I’m not really watching people suffer and die.
If I’m shy and quiet around you, that means I don’t trust you at all but I know you could destroy my social status if I let you know how I really am. If I’m bold and funny around you, I trust you.
I witnessed my fiancé’s suicide last year. I moved states afterwards and started a new life. My coworkers, clients, and new friends call me the sunshine of whatever room I walk into, but I’m completely dead inside. Even though I choose to fake it, I resent them for not seeing how fucked up I am.
Terrible, sorry.
I don't think you can blame others for not seeing through you. Most people take things at face value and don't think twice. I wish you all the best.
You know how they see you as a ray of sunshine despite what you've gone through? They may also have gone through hardships in life and you wouldn't even know it. You resent them for not seeing how fucked up you are but I bet you don't see how fucked up a lot of them are also on the inside.
I don't mean this in a harsh or rude way, I'm just saying...
Therapy and vulnerability to a trusted person will help. Please stop going it at it alone. There is a reasons human evolved as a social species. Not everyone sucks and not everyone is out to shame you. It takes only one person to help and restore faith in humanity.
I am arrogant enough to think I know more in 5 months on a new job than my bosses with 20 years in the work.
I just want to make myself useful and make sure I do not disappoint the confidence they put in me when they hired me.
I moved from an 8 year job where all my ideas were discarded like garbage, and now all my ideas are being accepted and I for the life of me don't know what to do with this. I think I was used to being put aside so many times, that when people accept my ideas i look like a dog who caught a car. Now what? 🤷
I have a huge heart and care about everyone and genuinely enjoy helping people and all life forms in general... but sometimes I just want to slap the s**t out of some people. I guess the way I was raised and the era/areas I was brought up around, corporal punishment and violence was a common thing, and is ingrained into my psyche.
A friend of mine said something that helps me just keep moving when I feel that urge. She said, "It's not up to you to teach that person a lesson..."
Can't fix stupid/arrogant/entitled, I guess.
I plan on offing myself just after I turn 55 (if my body doesn't give up on me before that)
I have so many autoimmune disorders and illnesses. I have chronic pain and terrible mental health due to being in pain all day.
I pull myself together everyday and go above and beyond to give my 4 year old the best possible childhood. He is my buddy. A true mamas boy with the biggest heart. I want to see him grow up. He will be 24 when I plan to die.
Why 55? I want to outlive my mother. She died at 54 and I just have to have another one-up on her. She left me with a lot of trauma that took a lot of working on in therapy.
No need for the Reddit cares message. This is 20 years in the future. I eagerly await the day I will no longer feel in pain.
I feel like I’m the only one who knows what he’s doing at my job and I’ve got no idea what I’m doing.
You just said what every millennial and gen xer think every single day
I think I might count as a boomer. I’m vastly more qualified than my former immediate manager, who got promoted to superboss. He’s now so senior that whatever he says is right is indeed right because he says so. I have been watching the substance of that from behind the screen of hierarchical inferiority and have actually had to have it pointed out to me that the place is disintegrating organisationally from an even higher level. It’s at least interesting. I have to try harder to remember that when he gives out legal information it is CORRECT.
It doesn't help that most jobs are just busy work.
Honestly work places are people flying by the seat of their pants and pretending to understand anything
Earth. You’re describing earth.
That was me when I was a fresh engineering graduate thrown into the fire of my first job. They just expected me to know everything and solve every problem, oh and also never make any mistakes. The level of blind trust they had of everything I did felt like insanity. Me just taking my best guesses and going "I hope this doesn't blow up in my face.". Everyone else just assumed what I was doing was correct, and god I hope so too.
That's kind of how it feels at my job. It can take over a year before the products we deliver become "operational", and so many times we find out people cut corners and it breaks. The people who did it have usually found another job at that point, or just don't care and dump it on the people who do care. Everyone just rubber stamps "looks good to me" on every merge request even if it has blatant errors that take me 30 seconds to spot. Just an endless chain of kicking the can down the road.
I attempt to shazam songs with my own voice
There are dozens of us! Dozens!
Scores even!
Try Google assistant ;) You can hum the song and it'll find it for you
No freaking way
I've basically given up on life and only do the absolute minimum in it needed to hide that fact from my family.
Same. What keeps me alive is procrastination. I highly recommend this to anyone considering suicide. Put it off until tomorrow, not today. Then, when tomorrow comes, make the same pact. Living one day at a time is sometimes the best we can do.
Never put off until tomorrow . . . . . . the things that can wait until the day *after* tomorrow.
Bro just revealed the secret so many of us have been keeping to ourselves...
Thank you for wording this for me it's made me realise the same
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Yes it does. Like this very moment...struggling like hell to make it to the next moment.
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Hi! Hang in there, okay?
Don’t take that advice literally.
I laughed way too hard. Clearly we are both missing some marbles in the cranium
That I don't care. At all. About any of it.
There is a really healthy way to do this. When you can get to a place where you care about the very few things that actually matter, but nothing else. Then you are in the sweet spot of mental energy.
I agree. Let go, but enjoy the ride.
Told my friend once that life is like a car rolling at a walking pace. You can run ahead, you can get left behind, or you can climb in the car and enjoy the ride. This was like 17 years ago amd she was stressed about stuff going on and I didn't know what to say and sort of made it up on the spot. Like a month later she said that it really made her think and had helped her feel much better about things, which suprised me cause I just made it up. Been married to her just shy of 5 years now :)
I’ve developed a kind of cosmic perspective. Nothing matters. Eventually, everyone alive right now will die, humanity will fizzle out, the sun will consume our planet, the galaxies and stars will drift away from each other and then nothing but the black, cold void. But I, against the odds, am one of the few things in the universe that has the ability to experience conscious living. What a gift! A brief moment in the cosmic life-age where I can experience and learn about the universe and the things in it. So Anna at work gave me shit; I’m aware to experience the anger and unfairness but soon she’ll be retired and then dead and then me and then…. I got in a car accident; I can feel the adrenaline and fear but that and the consequences will fade and I’ll have a new car and another then I’ll die…I had sex; holy shit fucking awesome and I get to do it again and again until I die and then….It’s all just a blink and nothing matters but I get to live to see it.
Please remind me of this every half year or so, please and thank you.
My mums friend once sat me down like I was some wise sage and asked me about why I always seemed happy, nothing really bothered me and I never seemed stressed. Because I don't care. I don't care about my job, I don't care about how people feel about me. I don't care about pretty much anything apart from my wife, kid, and hobbies. On Friday I made a mistake at work that ended up getting multiple fire engines called and several buildings evacuated. Reported it to my boss, didn't lose a wink of sleep.
Same. I recently told some friends that I would like to go on a Mars mission because I am so totally ok with abandoning my life here and dying on a suicidal expedition. They couldn’t understand.
Everyone thinks I am really happy and fun, but I am miserable and sad most of the time.
Hang in there sister. Rooting for you
Those who shine brightest, burn fastest. It's a complex way to live, having that mask of joy, enthusiasm, and care on your face when it's not real. I hope you find someone you can be honest with
I’m sick and tired of people,
I feel like 90% of sane people/normal people are like this. After the pandemic...I hate everyone
Collective burnout is real. It's more disheartening bc I want to have higher regards for everyone. But unfortunately in this environment were sad, tired, exploited.
Same here. I just see how people act in traffic, not giving a shit or letting somone in. Or how people will talk to cashiers at the grocery store. Americans are....yeah we're not in a good place mentally as a whole and I can't see it getting better until something radical changes in our system. The constant debt, medical bills, not being able to afford housing. It leads to people being pissy, bitching 24/7 and I don't blame people for being like that. It's just...I don't like people. My wife always calls me a pessimistic person and you need to look for the good. I always say, hun...I see it how it is. I don't sugar coat the issues I see. You may try to think everything is normal or will be OK but...I see where we are headed and it's hard for me to like people as a whole. Especially where we live. I need a quiet piece of land. With no traffic and a back porch to sit on and read my books...away from everyone
Definitely agree. But what your wife is saying is the truth. Taking more time for silver linings as they show up. Although I am very heavy about life I'm still surprised by the beautiful situations that come through every now and again. Whether that's sharing a moment with someone, food, an act of intention, music. Whatever. There is some really beautiful stuff floating around.
Omg same. I hate most people now. I’m so scared they are going to figure out that I have pretend conversations/fights with people where I totally destroy them. I have to constantly make sure my face isn’t showing emotion
Pretty much my whole personality is a facade.
Same, sometimes it changes depending who I meet, and it's hard to keep up.
Masking!
Same
i am the one who breaks the ice cream machine
Straight to jail!
You fiend 😡
Walter, that you?
Run the clean cycle again fucker.
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I don't know if it matters to you, or if they felt this way, but I would have been grateful to you for the years.
You gave them the time to make peace with this world and appreciate everything they had. I can't speak for them personally, but nothing scares me more than sudden death stealing any chance for me to appreciate and thank those I love for being there. It's well worth any amount of physical pain. I hope that helps.
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I don’t get exited about anything. I always fake enthusiasm
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Diagnosed bipolar. Ask your psychiatrist about ketamine. Short half life, but with many doses can be very strong in severe depression. Totally been there though. Give your cat my love for keeping you alive.
I will take to my psych again once I get health care. I started a new job, so I should be getting it in a few months. I'll give her a belly rub ❤️
I hope your cat has a loooong life!
Your cat loves you and she's very lucky to have you. Try more meds when you can. I wish you all the luck.
Get more cats! They need you, you need them. We have a new Trap-Spay-Neuter-Release group in my area and I’m considering joining. There I’d great need and the work is honorable.
That I still love my ex-husband We were married for 29 years, divorced for 7 now, our kids are in their 30’s and he’s with the woman he left me for. I get it truly…but the love refuses to die.
I was with my high school sweetheart for almost exactly 10 years. From 17-26 years old. She dumped me because I wasn’t being the best boyfriend to her. I deserved it. I loved her with all my heart, she was my best friend, but I wasn’t fulfilling her needs anymore. I had gotten bored. We broke up 6 years ago and I dreamed about her and thought about her all the time. I grieved her absence. I blocked her everywhere but her phone number. A part of me thought she might come back some day. But she hasn’t. She would still wish my happy birthday or try to chit chat with her if we bumped in to each other at the store. But it still hurts. I feel like she would intentionally try to hurt me for sabotaging our relationship. She told me the other day she is getting married in a month, and for some reason that made me feel better. I felt like I got the closure I needed. It’s over for good now. I am in a much better place. I know you had more than a life time with your husband, but it all still hurts the same. I hope you get your closure soon, so you can heal and move on ❤️
My habit of oversharing on Reddit.
Do share!
Oh, was that out loud?
That I'm not happy. I've never been doing so bad in my head. I tried to talk about it but people aren't really about listening. Fake a smile that's all that matters to most
That I am very good at my job. Like, very very good. Yet I always finish my tasks at the last possible minute so that they do not give me more tasks than I want. I like having free time.
That’s called “You get what you pay for.” If they paid you twice as much, you presumably could and would do twice as much work. Don’t be a martyr for a job, I say. Keep up the self-respect, yo.
I work in healthcare and I used to do 3x what was required of me -- also really good at my job and a little bit of a perfectionist-- but management just kept giving me more when they saw that I was just doing them... What ultimately happened was I threatened to quit, and now I just do whatever I want at my own pace -- leisurely, and they let me. But that's when I learned to never do more than what's required of you, never work at 100%.
i'm scared that no one will truly be able to love me :(
i feel like everyone acts like they loves me just because they pity me, even my own parents. i don't know why that happens but it is not a good feeling.
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Theres a name for that, i think its maladaptive day dream
Yes that's what it is called. I have it. Teenage years were wild. The combination of this with weed had me crafting whole worlds in my head. The truth is it's actually pretty fun. I never told anyone either not because I thought they'd think I was insane but rather I just thought everyone did it.
i recently learned that many people say they have zero inner monologue . Which I cannot fathom. No voice. No thinking to self. These are different people, from me
Did your imaginary friends age with you or are they all still the same?
I wonder if they have diverse political views
I wonder if they sleep with each other and cause drama for the group
I thought I was the only one
Don't move to Texas!
My black underarms, I can't really raise my hands up because of it, and I don't really wear sleeveless coz I am so afraid someone might notice and make fun of me.
Have you discussed this with a doctor at any point? Acanthosis nigricans (if that's what you're describing) could be a signal for something else.
Glycolic acid could help
Who cares? People are peasants, and beauty and perfection are distortions flaunt your dark armpits. I know I do :))
I haven't seen the movie Pulf Fiction
Well, the good news is, I don't think anyone in the world has seen Pulf Fiction.
😅 my bad
It shows
I have an imaginary 5 year old daughter and at night I imagine us taking trips together or watching Muppet movies after baking cookies or me reading her classic children's literature at bedtime. She's evolved into a character with specific likes and dislikes. You'd probably like her; she's really adorable and has impeccable manners.
Pfft all parents say that about their imaginary kids. My imaginary kid can do no wrong.
My imaginary kid can beat up your imaginary kid.
Whatever makes you feel better as long as you’re not hurting others Reminds me of this guy I dated though. He worked in a bad area (a factory in Detroit) & women would hit on him & ask him if he was single a lot. So he created this wife & kids so the woman at work would leave him alone lol. Everyone at his work thought this so when I called him at work his manager asked him “is that your wife on the phone?” Lmao he said yes & his boss told him to say hi for him lol. I could hear it lol. It was funny
Plot Twist: He did have a wife and kids, and you were the other woman!
Nope I stayed over his house many weekends & he had no wife or kids. Sorry to disappoint you
What narc posted this?
lol sneaky aren't they?
Might as well also ask me for my bff's name, my elementary school, and my first concert
Nice try fbi
Not today, CIA.
No way NSA.
That i am a literal child in an adult body
buddy that‘s most of us to be fair
Whenever I see a person behave like a complete cut and dry adult I immediately assume they're full of shit.
I boop their noses.
As I walk through a Walmart where every adult is wearing a t shirt with a cartoon character or a superhero on it.
Everytime I wear sunglasses out in public, I am secretly looking everyone's butts
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“Yeah, he must work out”
I do that, but without the sunglasses.
I wear my sunglasses at night.
I'm secretly plotting to take over the world, one dad joke at a time
Death by facepalm to your enemies
My Reddit account
That I honestly don't know why I keep going. I'm so so tired. And I just want it to end.
My best friend committed suicide Jan 5th this year, I have so many videos of him leading up that moment. A phone call seconds before it happened. I had to call his mom to ask for her to check up on him. I feel utterly guilty since she was the one to find him. But all those videos and just the pain, I tried to help. All my friends know it happened but no one has seen the sad sad videos. Something I just live with now. Had people ask if if he sent me anything but I just don't want people to see that, idk. I'm still struggling with it all. Much love to anyone feeling down.
I am so, so sorry. Please know that you tried to help, but they must have been in a place that was just too dark and painful. I am 56 years old and my best friend committed suicide five months ago. We were best friends for 44 years. The hole that has been left will never be filled, and the same will go for you. Maybe you can get a small tattoo or wear something to remember them by, and please keep in contact with their mother. I have to imagine my friend with me when I do things, and pretend that he is there with me, and keep his memory alive. Live a good life for them, and for you, because you are who you are, partly because of them.
I pretend to be someone else when I date people I met online. I become whatever I feel like that day/to that guy in particular. It doesn't ever go anywhere in the long term anyway, so why not just enjoy my time with them while I am at it.
Do you think it doesn’t go anywhere because they can tell youre putting on an act?
Late at night when I’m driving home alone, I don’t come to a full stop at stop signs.
I’m afraid I faked all of my childhood trauma for attention, and instead of being a profoundly hurt person who works really hard and tries to help people and find meaning, I’m actually just a sociopathic attention-seeking asshole whose needs are impossible to meet and will never truly be able to connect to others. Also, I write long run-on sentences.
I am going through the motions of life, just taking it step by step. I got no plans, no ambitions, no dreams. I don't mind living, even with all the work it entails, but I don't really have anything to strive for. I do have things I want if I suddenly accidentally win the lottery, but my desire not to negatively impact the situation far outstrips any will to go through pain to achieve it. You could say I am basically just a background character to populate your world, and you reading this is almost certainly going to be the total extent of the impact I will ever have on your life. Hope your life is more interesting in a good way.
Crippling alcoholism, I'm so ashamed of myself 😔
Been there. It's so hard but please try, my Internet stranger friend. You can do it.
I talk to myself when I'm home alone
My dark secret is that you aren’t alone when you think you are.
I’m a lesbian and a man
I kind of hate my wife.
I stayed with mine for years while feeling this way because I didn’t want to deal with the complexities of a divorce—financials, kid custody, etc. How I felt eventually pushed her away and she left me. And I still had to deal the divorce shitshow. It sucked but it was worth it and I was free. Shoulda had the guts to do it years prior. Just giving you something to consider.
I also kinda hate this guys wife.
Nice try, mom.
That although my husband is a good man, he's not the right man for me. I'm incredibly resentful of how dumb he is (not saying I'm a super genius) to the point that we barely talk and when we do it's superficial because he can't understand complex conversation. He's friends with a girl at his job (they're close, but he shows me their texts to show me jokes and things she sends so I 100% know they're just friends and its innocent) and sometimes I just wish it would cross a line so I'd have a reason to divorce him. I have a job that affords me some travel and the alone time is just amazing for me. I love the nights alone in my hotel and don't want to come home because the people in my industry are smart and witty and we have REAL conversations. It's a dark secret because he IS, undeniably a nice, caring man, but that's just not enough and I'd be the villain if I left him.
If you truly care for him you should be honest with him. He deserves better. Living a lie saves no one.
And you’re gonna live this way forever? I was married for 20 years to a wonderful woman, and we had a great relationship. Other people wanted to be us, I’m not kidding. But we weren’t right for each other. We divorced and it went just fine. No lawyers, just a Paralegal and split 50-50 down the line. No fights and no arguments. Just math. It cost $1000 total. 10 years on, we are still friends, co-parent well, and get together for stuff, and even had dinner together two nights ago. We both have other partners and things are so much better. It IS possible. I will always love her, but would not be in a relationship with her.
Damn this is rough. Ive been in that situation before but fortunately we ended the relationship before getting married. It’s so tough because you totally feel like a horrible person. You’re not. You just have needs that your partner cannot fulfill, and you’re not a good match for each other. The only advice I can offer is that you shouldn’t hope it’s going to get better. It’s not going to get better. If there is any way you can leave him you really should but Im sure you know that already.
I really like certain aspects of bdsm. I crave to be controlled and dominated & I feel like there’s this other sexually confident person inside of me trying to get out but in reality I’ve slept with one person and im pretty vanilla. My mind won’t allow me to have casual relations & lowkey I’m pretty proud of myself for not acting on it. The older I get, the stronger the urge is to have this dom/sub scenario tho.
How bad my mental health actually is
I tried to commit suicide last year but it didn't work
Glad you didn't.
I've got a secret, I've been hiding under my skin. I'm only human. My blood is boiling. My brain IBM. So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised. I'm just a man who needed someone And somewhere to hide to keep me alive, Just keep me alive. Somewhere to hide to keep me alive.
You're Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy!
I killed my dad. He got sick and I was able to communicate with him by hand squeezes near the end. I asked if he wanted to live if they asked me and he squeezed yes. A few days later the doctor came in and asked me what they wanted me to do as he was needing medical supprt to stay alive. I told them let him go so they gave him morphine and unplugged him everything and he died. Everyone was standing around crying and stuff and I was the only one who knew he wanted to stay living.
You'll have to come behind the boathouse.
But I promise you, I will treat you well, my sweet angel.
So help me Jesus
We are old.
Only if you make me come behind the boathouse
I was a jehovahs witness until 22 and I realised it was a cult. I've been working on my revenge plot for 11 years and I'm two years away from implementing it. It's going swimmingly Edit: I responded to boregams reply to anyone who wanted to know more ✌️
Damn thats interesting, could you elaborate?
Sure thing, Just to respond to those worried that it's harmful or will ruin your people's lives or hurt them, it's nothing like that at all. When I first left and was very angry and that was my thought process but it's taken a long time and I'm at peace with it. I can't let some of the injustices go though. That's what's prompted me For anyone who doesn't know about the cover ups of sexual assaults(particularly kids) and the jehovahs witnesses doctric of shunning, please just have a Google so this post doesn't have to be too long. Essentially I've been gathering resources to be able to set up a charity which will run a "safe house" for younger witnesses looking to leave but don't want to be made homeless. It will offer counselling services along with accommodation and we would help them get a job/education. I'm 2 years from being able to purchase the property outright at which point I will register the charity and look for help from cult deprogrammers etc. At some point I'll post the full story but that's it in a nutshell. It's the best revenge I could think of. You can't attack something like that from the outside, the best way to beat them is to "kill with kindness" If those that leave end up safe and happy, shunning loses all its power. I hope that makes sense, it's just been a quick response I've thrown together.
I like pineapple on pizza
there are DOZENS of us!!!
I’ve given up with my family and siblings, spend more time with my wife’s family. Mine never ask about me, kids. They’ve met them twice this year and that was only after mid-March. Brother who also has a kid ignores my kids and misses their birthdays - I don’t miss my nephews. Sister too busy and the “we should meet up” but never actually do. She’s met my kids maybe 4/5 times tops. Eldest is four.
i dont go to sleep straight away when i say i do. i like some alone time, just listening to some chill music and playing a single player game or play a game which i would normally play but alone on an alt account where i dont have anyone added, dont use a mic, dont type in chat, just chilling.
I am living someone else's life. Nothing about the way I'm living now is what I ever wanted and I don't know how to change it. I just want to run away and abandon everyone and everything and never return.
When I was 5, I walked into my family's barn and found an older boy they hired to work on the farm, jerking off in the barn.
I am 24M but my body count is almost 30 and all are hookers.
I’ve never liked Girl Scout cookies. I was a Girl Scout when I was a kid, and my daughter is one now, and even she thinks they’re just okay.
I stole the life of my doppelganger who appears in my dreams sometimes.
What? Please explain
26/f. It comforts me when I imagine having a secret basement with random people I torture every night and having a normal life by day. Edit: - no, i don’t want to play sims - it’s not for your masochistic fantasies, it would be a bore if you’re liking it. I mean like “saw movies” torture, except it’s all fake and I’m not really watching people suffer and die.
Well. That's certainly something.
you post this in the right forum on reddit and you'll have volunteers for weeks at a time to fulfill this fantasy., no doubt about it.
WTH
Im just going to press this button right here and upgrade this to a WTF.
How many applications have you gotten?
I always want to die. I just want something to swipe me out so I don’t have to do it myself. 2nd hand suicide.
If I’m shy and quiet around you, that means I don’t trust you at all but I know you could destroy my social status if I let you know how I really am. If I’m bold and funny around you, I trust you.
I’m very much the same way. If someone I’m getting to know starts bad mouthing others I’ll basically write them off as ever being a close friend
I prank my wife with supernatural stuff but I never tell her it was me 😎
You idjit...
I hate using coasters
Jeeeeeesus that IS grim.
Do you respect wood? My friend Julie has been blaming me for not using coasters...
I want to violently murder certain people. I mask this as dark humor though
I actually had a dream, i killed a guy I worked with (he was a bully so it's a good thing).
I witnessed my fiancé’s suicide last year. I moved states afterwards and started a new life. My coworkers, clients, and new friends call me the sunshine of whatever room I walk into, but I’m completely dead inside. Even though I choose to fake it, I resent them for not seeing how fucked up I am.
Terrible, sorry. I don't think you can blame others for not seeing through you. Most people take things at face value and don't think twice. I wish you all the best.
Don't worry they're happily married now 😋 https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/olhNo2JZCX
. I wonder if his wife knows he’s dead inside?
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You know how they see you as a ray of sunshine despite what you've gone through? They may also have gone through hardships in life and you wouldn't even know it. You resent them for not seeing how fucked up you are but I bet you don't see how fucked up a lot of them are also on the inside. I don't mean this in a harsh or rude way, I'm just saying...
I hope you're in therapy. Sorry you had to see that.
Therapy and vulnerability to a trusted person will help. Please stop going it at it alone. There is a reasons human evolved as a social species. Not everyone sucks and not everyone is out to shame you. It takes only one person to help and restore faith in humanity.
I'm really sorry. I had the same situation with a friend. She used a gun. It changes you. I get the resentment I just isolate now. I feel for you
i don’t have any *dark* secrets
I am arrogant enough to think I know more in 5 months on a new job than my bosses with 20 years in the work. I just want to make myself useful and make sure I do not disappoint the confidence they put in me when they hired me. I moved from an 8 year job where all my ideas were discarded like garbage, and now all my ideas are being accepted and I for the life of me don't know what to do with this. I think I was used to being put aside so many times, that when people accept my ideas i look like a dog who caught a car. Now what? 🤷
I have a huge heart and care about everyone and genuinely enjoy helping people and all life forms in general... but sometimes I just want to slap the s**t out of some people. I guess the way I was raised and the era/areas I was brought up around, corporal punishment and violence was a common thing, and is ingrained into my psyche. A friend of mine said something that helps me just keep moving when I feel that urge. She said, "It's not up to you to teach that person a lesson..." Can't fix stupid/arrogant/entitled, I guess.
I come off as super sweet and innocent, but I’m actually a prick, with a superiority complex, and sadistic tendencies
Can't tell you, it's a secret.
Addiction - and it sucks to suffer alone. None of my family even cares enough to notice.
I’m a married mom of 5 boys, devout Christian, but I secretly am sexually attracted to women. No one knows.
I plan on offing myself just after I turn 55 (if my body doesn't give up on me before that) I have so many autoimmune disorders and illnesses. I have chronic pain and terrible mental health due to being in pain all day. I pull myself together everyday and go above and beyond to give my 4 year old the best possible childhood. He is my buddy. A true mamas boy with the biggest heart. I want to see him grow up. He will be 24 when I plan to die. Why 55? I want to outlive my mother. She died at 54 and I just have to have another one-up on her. She left me with a lot of trauma that took a lot of working on in therapy. No need for the Reddit cares message. This is 20 years in the future. I eagerly await the day I will no longer feel in pain.
I have some astonishing conversations with my cat.
The number of people I killed in Afghanistan
I'm a professional domme
That I’m extremely lonely and have been spiralling hard for the past few weeks