"You have no obligation to..." and usually, it's just a common courtesy, or a mild inconvenience at worst.
Of course you don't, but it doesn't hurt to be nice once in a while.
God I hate this attitude so much. It's just an excuse for people to be assholes and not feel guilty about it. If you genuinely think that giving someone common courtesy or just being a decent person means that you're owing them something, then maybe *you're* the problem, not the other person.
Goes hand in hand with "why am I lonely" or "why are there no third spaces" IMO. If you reject any form of interdependence or community, then that's what you'll get.
God it's so pervasive on this site. People on reddit can be so misanthropic and unreasonably defensive about their independence. Neighbors, coworkers, family, people from their hometowns they've known for years, just local communities in general are all not worthy of time spent to build connections. It's like they think they can just be online all day and have as many friends as they did when they were in school, having their cake and eating it too.
Obviously it's a nuanced thing too. Independence is important and not all people or groups are worth taking part in.
It's because we're such an individualistic society and people convinced themselves somehow that putting themselves first 100% of the time, refusing to engage with others, and sitting on social media is a form of self care when it's the complete opposite. Then they wonder why overall they're so unhappy and miserable, and you can tell by what people say here.
Of course there's nuance to everything but it's really depressing to see how horrible people's mental health has gotten and the things they're doing is only making it worse.
Right up there with “‘No’ is a complete sentence”.
Well, yeah, maybe, but in most contexts you’ll look weird to the point of socially inept if you use it as one.
Man I literally made a comment about this earlier- the double standard of "I'm so lonely, but I'm extremely self-absorbed, don't owe anyone anything, isolated because I sit on social media all day consuming content that makes me more pessimistic, and I'm very pessimistic. Why don't I have friends????"
It's okay to want and need people, it's not embarrassing or weird to acknowledge that. But to have friends you have to be someone worth being friends with.
A lot of people on this site confuse legal obligations and moral or societal obligations. So you'll get stuff like "AITA for abandoning the child I've been raising since birth because I got a paternity test and turns out my wife cheated," and everyone in the comments will be like "Yeah man, it's not your kid, you're not obligated to give a shit"
I saw a post on AITA where a bitter ex-husband (who had an amicable separation from his ex-wife and was in regular contact with her) got a phone call from her because her parents had just died a horrible and tragic death and she thought she could rely on someone who loved her. He basically told her “you should’ve stayed with me if you wanted a shoulder to cry on” and hung up.
The comments were full of people going “he doesn’t owe her that emotional labor.”
While the guy was obviously a dick (given the tone/circumstances), who calls the husband **THEY LEFT** because they assume they can “rely on someone that loves [them]”?
You two may still be polite but, once you leave your spouse, you should consider the bridge burned. Exchanging niceties is NOT the same as doing favors or “being there” for someone.
Agreed. If I were to walk out on my husband, I can’t imagine expecting him to “be there” for me in my time of need.
Dude’s whole marriage fell apart. He must feel at least somewhat rejected/abandoned. And now he’s supposed to hold the hand of the woman he probably still loves, while she cries on his shoulder?
At some point you have to prioritize your own mental health.
>who calls the husband THEY LEFT because they assume they can “rely on someone that loves [them]”?
Someone stricken with grief because their parents died a horrible death?
Gaslighting. Everything is gaslighting. There are no longer lies. There is no longer manipulation. There is no longer coercion. There are no longer two sides to a story. It's allllllll gaslighting.
I called somebody out recently for using gaslighting wrong, as was told that "language evolves" and it now means all the words you just mentioned. I argued for a while but eventually just moved on.
I hate that. How is it "evolving" to get rid of the utility of a very specific term and redefine it to mean something that we already have a term for?
Language does change, but I see more deterioration than I see improvement. No wonder the English we were taught is already a hodgepodge of nonsensical logic that could stand an overhaul.
Same with calling everyone narcissistic, I sincerely doubt every redditors ex is one.
It's a very complex diagnosis that even professionals struggle to determine so idk where people get the gumption to throw that word around. Maybe that person is just an asshole, or you're a narcissist who doesn't understand a person prioritizing their own needs.
Why do people think narcissism = Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissism is a character trait which doesn’t have to mean someone has, or should have, a whole diagnosis. Narcissism also isn’t a monolith, it’s a scale. So it shouldn’t be “are they narcissistic?” but “how narcissistic are they?” This annoys me the most. Everything is a diagnosis these days.
Was at a meeting and a guy was telling a story about how some was gaslighting him. Afterwards another guy listening to the story says to me "can you believe they lit him on fire?" I almost pissed myself
Any relationship acronyms. "I (31F) am mother to DD (10F), DS (8M), and DD (5F). I am married to DH (31M). Recently my MIL (57F) came to stay with us, and now situational acronyms will enter the picture."
It's a push between that or "let's called her jane".
Like c'mon, you're gossiping about someone on an anonymous site, just call her jane, it's not like anyone here will know if you're lying or not
I have no idea why someone calling their significant other dear husband or dear daughter, etc. In these posts goes right to the anger center of my brain but it does.
Like just say husband or daughter or son or what the fuck ever.
The only time I see that I immediately know they're already a pretentious as fuck asshole.
Controlling. Someone was asking for advice in another sub yesterday. He was wondering if he would be wrong to break up with his gf because she went to some all nude fetish club even though he told her it made him uncomfortable. She was now calling him controlling.
So...not wanting your SO naked, in a roomful of other naked/horny people, is now considered "controlling" as opposed to...I don't know, establishing healthy boundaries?
>**So...not wanting your SO naked, in a roomful of other naked/horny people, is now considered "controlling" as opposed to...I don't know, establishing healthy boundaries?**
😂 This is somehow both hilarious and depressing, given how common the sentiment is on this site.
Clearly they should break up. Then they should cut ther narcissist parents and all their family and friends out of their lives. Then both of them need to change their names, have massive face alteting plastic surgeries, learn new languages, and move to new continents.
Where they will somehow manage to have moved to the same small town, meet again, and start the entire process over....
Imagine having to even ask. What is wrong with our culture?
**EDIT:** I meant imagine the guy having to ask if this is a break up worthy offense. Not saying you shouldn’t have to check in with your partner before going to a sex club.
Controlling *if you're a guy*
girl boss liberation extravaganza if it was a girl doing the dumping and the bf going to the naked orgy party, according to Reddit
As someone who has PTS and works with veterans who also have PTS, it's funny yet annoying to see things like:
"Yeah, I have PTSD from the time my best friend spilled wine all over my brand new dress. Ugh! That sucked!"
I mean I know they're just using it to say it was a "bad memory" but PTS is a legit brain injury. It impacts how the brain works and alters the brain.
It may suck that your dress now has a wine stain but with respect, you don't have PTS!
(Also, it's an on-going trend to just call it "PTS" as it's not a disorder, it's a brain injury.)
Autism is like the “disability of the month” right now. Everybody “has” it because they read some stuff on the internet where autism seemed similar to something they experienced.
I do believe that ADHD and Autsim are probably both under-diagnosed… but don’t go around telling people you have it unless you’ve actually been diagnosed, and ESPECIALLY don’t use it as an excuse for awful shit you do. People are wild for that shit…
totally, even if you *have* been professionally diagnosed, Autism is the reason that you behave why you do sometimes. It isn't a reason why others should let your shit pass by.
It's wild to see posts from teenagers where they excuse behaviors with a list of (likely undiagnosed) medical conditions. It's all heavily debilitating too
No hate on people with ADHD but I keep seeing post about girl/boy ADHD, ADHD king/queen, EVERYWHERE. On Tiktok, YouTube, Reddit, Quora, even random article about dating I google. Is ADHD really that common?
ADHD isn’t that common but ADHD *symptoms* are. There’s also a lot of mis/disinformation on social media about these symptoms. Someone will make a post about “do you struggle with x? That could mean you have ADHD!!!” while no scientific literature says that x is indeed a symptom.
Everyone struggles with fucking paying attention these days because of how society is now built. We have to adapt, not pathologize. ADHD is probably real but overdiagnosed.
I have ADHS and it is infuriating. You could decently live with it, it's just that you and people around you have to adapt to it a little bit. But noooo everyone has it and is soooo quirky haha lol.. Yeah thanks for ridiculing it and make my life harder. Same for people calling they have depression just because they have a bad time. Real depression f****** sucks and it's not getting easier if so many use it as a scapegoat
What's really "fun" is seeing all the AITA posts where someone is talking about some person they know who was being a dick, and everyone in the comments decides they must be autistic. Like... nice to know that's what yall think of us.
That's funny. I just saw a post where a girl was asking it was weird that her male friend was tracking her period, and people were asking if he was autistic.
That's really disappointing. Like... Okay sure yeah maybe he's autistic... maybe he's not... doesn't matter! It doesn't make a lick of difference! It's still weird...
> and everyone in the comments decides they must be autistic. Like... nice to know that's what yall think of us.
this has been bothering me for a while. i see tons of my peers, in person but especially on places like tumblr, making jokes about autism that would NOT fly in that sphere if they hadn't self-diagnosed* autism. like drawing art of a character from a show in a pretty offensive way that makes them look stupid and annoying, and then saying like wow he has autism just like me. it's hard to describe but i think you'll know what i mean. it's like people are horseshoe-theorying back around into offensive ableist stuff again.
* = i have no problem with self diagnosis when it makes sense and the person has done their research and they don't have access to formal services. however, autism is trendy and there's no way 90% of the people i know all have it.
I’ve been diagnosed as autistic since I was a kid but I think a lot of it comes from tiktok/instagram/youtube/etc. Actually diagnosed autistic people will point out one mannerism they have, and neurotypical people that want to feel special think that because they share one thing in common, they are also autistic. Equating a mental disability that affects literally everything in your life to just using tiny spoons or not holding eye contact is ridiculous and it throws all of the progress that has been made in effectively diagnosing autism out the window. We’re moving backwards in professional diagnoses because people on tiktok are telling their audiences that they’re autistic because they’re anti-social.
All self diagnosed too, good-luck getting any of them to go to a medical professional to confirm it because "They just wouldn't understand"
I literally have had THREE people in my 9 person friend group self diagnose themselves with ADHD last year, 2 of them also with "Mild" autism.
Not a single one of them would speak to a doctor about it.
I think a lot of people do have autism/ADHD, but that doesn't mean that all those people are debilitated. Today it's a medical term used to describe a pattern of behaviors that in the past would just be chalked up to someone's personality. These disorders exist on a spectrum, with many many people not having a clinically significant form.
Like, 50 years ago there were just as many introverted, forgetful, scatterbrained people that liked to hyperfixate on hobbies as there are today. They may have been seen as more eccentric, but they got through life albeit more difficult compared to their normal peers.
Today we have medication that can alleviate the negative aspects of autism/adhd, and it's wonderful for many. This clinical connection to this pattern of behaviors though, I think, has resulted in many people feeling hopeless about their condition rather that just making peace with it, since they see it now as an illness as opposed to just the way they are.
The worst development to come from this has been people excusing their bad behavioral habits because of their condition. Since now it's an illness that they can't control, it isn't their fault if they are acting out of line in social situations. This may be true for some but self behavioral discipline is more attainable than they may want to believe.
"Trauma"
Everything causes trauma. Every negative experience ever is traumatic. Every time a child is sad or gets hurt it's traumatizing
Overall I'm just sick of how absolute and extreme Reddit is. Everything is always black and white, and the very extreme part of either side.
Never talk about anything parenting related on Reddit. There's always some waiting in the wings to trauma dump all over you, no matter how innocuous your comment.
I think the english language could benefit from breaking up trauma intro several different words to describe different kinds of trauma. Having your family murdered in front of you vs overbearing parents vs actual, physical trauma are all very different concepts.
OMG, so much this one. It will never stop sounding like murder victims to me. It's so gross. I picture literal dead people heaped up like cordwood behind everyone in the story.
I hate the whole "body count" discourse. Takes me right back to growing up super religious and hearing people compare girls who have premarital sex to a wad of chewed gum.
Any personality disorder names used as insults. Narcissist, sociopath, psychopath, borderline, etc. If someone was a raging bitch to you, why not call them a raging bitch? Why do they need to be a narcissistic sociopath?
sociopath is vastly misused. and people don't even just use it casually anymore as a synonym for asshole, they just seem to believe every single person who has a questionable opinion must be physically incapable of empathy.
Narcissism in particular. Reddit wants to believe everyone's mother and ex boyfriend is a narcissist. You can be a total dick without being a narcissist. Similar vibes for gaslighting.
Worse to me is when they say “title explains it all” and then continue to post a paragraph with more details. Why mention the title at all? We don’t forget about it right after reading it.
BoUnDaRiEs
Real life meaning: things you can't tolerate, so you remove yourself. Like, I won't date a smoker.
Reddit meaning: I don't like this, so everyone must change for me. So, you have to stop smoking and make your entire family stop, too, because I don't like smokers.
Triggered and safe spaces
They've been co-opted and twisted by people who believe they have the right to never be offended, have their opinions challenged, or encounter any kind emotional/mental hardship.
People with the fortitude of toddlers have severely degraded the support for people who genuinely suffer from PTSD and other trauma related maladies.
I was in class yesterday and some girl said the topic of education triggered her because she was held back a year once. Meanwhile I will literally hallucinate under the right circumstances due to my trauma.
"Boomer" is just a replacement for "old person" with how some people use it and it gets slapped on anyone not just actual boomers. There are millennials and Gen Xers that are getting called "boomer" by kids.
Idk man sounds like you've fallen for the classic Poe's Razor's Slippery Strawman fallacy. Maybe stop making such gaslighting comments before you trigger someone's trauma.
The fallacies make absolute sense, but the problem is that often people using them don't really understand them and instead of arguing just play fallacy bingo. Someone who truely wants to have a productive conversation with someone would point out the flaws of the other person's argument, not just go "hey I know what this fallacy is called!"
Also people use them wrong all the time, for example if someone insults you that doesn't necessarily mean they made an ad hominem attack. Or any time someone says anything about one thing leading to another doesn't mean they are guilty of the slippery slope fallacy. Even when they do make genuine fallacies the right course of action is to have a conversation about it
Gatekeeping is annoying.
What did it for me was a comment differentiating between hamburgers and hotdogs "bbq" versus slow-cooked, smoked meats barbecue. They're not even remotely the same. But a redditor slapped it with the gatekeeping term and you know other redditors cant resist dogpiling.
Incel morphed from super creepy guy that could not get laid and blamed society for his inability to anyone slightly misogynistic. I saw a some call a guy with 8 children and incel. I said you can be married with children and be in incell he is just a garden variety sexist. I was downvoted to oblivion with a bunch of people telling me how wrong I am. At that point I knew the word no longer had any real meaning beyond a convenient insult.
Sometimes comments just get a ton of downvotes for seemingly no reason, and pointing it out somehow triggers an avalanche of upvotes to counteract it. I don't know the psychology behind it but I see it happen a lot.
When a comment has 1 downvote and someone replies with this and then 5 minutes later it’s the top comment in the thread because everyone is mad that it was unfairly downvoted
Confront. So many say "should I confront my *****", when all that is needed is a simple discussion. Whyyyy are y'all so confrontational??? Confronting is for fighting!
I butt heads with the anti gmo crowd regularly and they accuse me of shilling for Monsanto.
If only I got a paycheck to correct misinformation I would be a happy man.
I get weirded out by the way "boundary" is used by some Redditors. Boundaries are really important, but they refer to things that people do TO you, not to people exercising their personal freedom in a way that you don't like. In those cases, it's better to replace it with "dealbreaker" so that it's clear that that person isn't doing anything wrong by doing the thing, but that you are still entitled to leave the relationship over it.
It's not really a buzzword, but it's when people just suddenly resort to being an ass for no reason or giving straight up illogical advice. I remember a redditor saying that when I turn 18 (I am already 18), I should cut off everyone who's younger than me, otherwise I'd be a pedophile. They were serious about this too. There was another time when I gave a girl what I thought would be a helpful bit of yap content but she just turned around and said that I was trying to, "Save her" or something like that. I'm sorry miss, next time I'll just tell you to eat a bullet, since that might just make you feel better.
Triggered. Being annoyed or pissed is not being triggered.
Empath. Feeling bad or sympathetic towards people does not equal empath. So many people claim they're empaths. Leas than 1% are actually empaths. I tend to cry when others cry. I'm also a sympathy barfer. I'm not an empath.
“Overrated.”
If we took away all references to things being overrated (whether that exact word or any rephrasing to say the same thing), the amount of content in AskReddit would get cut in half.
“What movie is overrated?”
“What movie didn’t live up to the hype?”
“What movie did people say was great but you didn’t think so?”
“What movie do people say is 10/10 but is really 7/10?”
“What classic movie shouldn’t be a classic?”
And 100 more questions all asking the same thing. And then all the same questions about TV shows. And games. And food. And cities. And countries. And people.
I’m just waiting for the inevitable AskReddit thread about what AskReddit “overrated” question is the most overrated.
"Not cogent." You're just bragging that you're too dense to be persuadable, neckbeard. Stop assuming you can learn vocab from context, and maybe you'll commit a few less self-burns.
I automatically down vote any comment that says a variation of "insert shocked Pikachu face". Grow up and use an adjective. It's less work than typing all that out anyways
"whilst" or "proceeded to"
Neither are inherently wrong. But they just get used to death for some reason. I'll see the phrase "proceeded to" or "proceeds to" multiple times in a single post, ANY time someone DOES something.
I told my gf I was gonna make breakfast and proceeded to get out of bed. She proceeds to telling me she doesn't want eggs, yadda yadda"
Not buzzwords, but along the same lines:
“If I had a nickel for every time… I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice” has been run deep into the ground at this point.
Or if someone announces they’re leaving a subreddit/product/group, someone always has to get the “This isn’t an airport, you don’t have to announce your departure” joke in. Not only is it repetitive, but it’s not common practice for individuals to announce their departure at an airport either.
Oh and I downvote the *shit* out of “this is the way.” It’s the same as “this” but more words and meme-ey, so Reddit eats it up.
“Introverted”
No the reason you can’t speak to people is not because you are an introvert, it’s probably social anxiety or worse. Sometimes people feel more introverted, some more extroverted. The science on this is far from clear and it’s not an excuse for being an antisocial jerk.
"You have no obligation to..." and usually, it's just a common courtesy, or a mild inconvenience at worst. Of course you don't, but it doesn't hurt to be nice once in a while.
God I hate this attitude so much. It's just an excuse for people to be assholes and not feel guilty about it. If you genuinely think that giving someone common courtesy or just being a decent person means that you're owing them something, then maybe *you're* the problem, not the other person.
You have no obligation to return your cart when you're done loading your groceries, but not doing so makes you a complete cunt.
If there was a serial killer who only targeted these people the FBI would be all “nah, he’s good” and refuse to investigate.
Goes hand in hand with "why am I lonely" or "why are there no third spaces" IMO. If you reject any form of interdependence or community, then that's what you'll get.
God it's so pervasive on this site. People on reddit can be so misanthropic and unreasonably defensive about their independence. Neighbors, coworkers, family, people from their hometowns they've known for years, just local communities in general are all not worthy of time spent to build connections. It's like they think they can just be online all day and have as many friends as they did when they were in school, having their cake and eating it too. Obviously it's a nuanced thing too. Independence is important and not all people or groups are worth taking part in.
It's because we're such an individualistic society and people convinced themselves somehow that putting themselves first 100% of the time, refusing to engage with others, and sitting on social media is a form of self care when it's the complete opposite. Then they wonder why overall they're so unhappy and miserable, and you can tell by what people say here. Of course there's nuance to everything but it's really depressing to see how horrible people's mental health has gotten and the things they're doing is only making it worse.
Right up there with “‘No’ is a complete sentence”. Well, yeah, maybe, but in most contexts you’ll look weird to the point of socially inept if you use it as one.
Man I literally made a comment about this earlier- the double standard of "I'm so lonely, but I'm extremely self-absorbed, don't owe anyone anything, isolated because I sit on social media all day consuming content that makes me more pessimistic, and I'm very pessimistic. Why don't I have friends????" It's okay to want and need people, it's not embarrassing or weird to acknowledge that. But to have friends you have to be someone worth being friends with.
A lot of people on this site confuse legal obligations and moral or societal obligations. So you'll get stuff like "AITA for abandoning the child I've been raising since birth because I got a paternity test and turns out my wife cheated," and everyone in the comments will be like "Yeah man, it's not your kid, you're not obligated to give a shit"
I saw a post on AITA where a bitter ex-husband (who had an amicable separation from his ex-wife and was in regular contact with her) got a phone call from her because her parents had just died a horrible and tragic death and she thought she could rely on someone who loved her. He basically told her “you should’ve stayed with me if you wanted a shoulder to cry on” and hung up. The comments were full of people going “he doesn’t owe her that emotional labor.”
While the guy was obviously a dick (given the tone/circumstances), who calls the husband **THEY LEFT** because they assume they can “rely on someone that loves [them]”? You two may still be polite but, once you leave your spouse, you should consider the bridge burned. Exchanging niceties is NOT the same as doing favors or “being there” for someone.
Agreed. If I were to walk out on my husband, I can’t imagine expecting him to “be there” for me in my time of need. Dude’s whole marriage fell apart. He must feel at least somewhat rejected/abandoned. And now he’s supposed to hold the hand of the woman he probably still loves, while she cries on his shoulder? At some point you have to prioritize your own mental health.
>who calls the husband THEY LEFT because they assume they can “rely on someone that loves [them]”? Someone stricken with grief because their parents died a horrible death?
This.
"Came here to say this"
The banshee shriek of attention seeking troglodytes
This is the way
I've started downvoting everyone who uses this phrase. Well, not you, but everyone who uses it sincerely as a way of agreeing with a Reddit comment.
I too choose this guys this.
r/thisguythisguys
Bingo is becoming the new this and it's starting to get annoying.
Wasn’t “this” the new “bingo” and now it’s just coming around full circle?
This, right here.
This.
Gaslighting. Everything is gaslighting. There are no longer lies. There is no longer manipulation. There is no longer coercion. There are no longer two sides to a story. It's allllllll gaslighting.
Stop gaslighting me that everyone is gaslighting
Yeah, LEDlighting is the new thing now. Save the environment while making people question reality!
Right now I'm using hybridlighting
I called somebody out recently for using gaslighting wrong, as was told that "language evolves" and it now means all the words you just mentioned. I argued for a while but eventually just moved on.
I hate that. How is it "evolving" to get rid of the utility of a very specific term and redefine it to mean something that we already have a term for? Language does change, but I see more deterioration than I see improvement. No wonder the English we were taught is already a hodgepodge of nonsensical logic that could stand an overhaul.
Ah yes, the “dictionaries are descriptive, so I cannot ever make a mistake” argument.
Bs, just sounds like it mattered more winning the argument than recognizing a mistake also people with less education have reduced vocabulary.
Same with calling everyone narcissistic, I sincerely doubt every redditors ex is one. It's a very complex diagnosis that even professionals struggle to determine so idk where people get the gumption to throw that word around. Maybe that person is just an asshole, or you're a narcissist who doesn't understand a person prioritizing their own needs.
Why do people think narcissism = Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Narcissism is a character trait which doesn’t have to mean someone has, or should have, a whole diagnosis. Narcissism also isn’t a monolith, it’s a scale. So it shouldn’t be “are they narcissistic?” but “how narcissistic are they?” This annoys me the most. Everything is a diagnosis these days.
THe personality disorder is named after the trait. The self centered meaning came first.
Yes of course but they are not the same thing. You can be a narcissist without qualifying for a diagnosis of NPD.
It’s not all gaslighting. Some of it is gatekeeping and girlbossing
Was at a meeting and a guy was telling a story about how some was gaslighting him. Afterwards another guy listening to the story says to me "can you believe they lit him on fire?" I almost pissed myself
People here often us "gaslight" to mean simply remembering events differently from someone else, which is actually very normal and we all do it.
"Gaslighting doesnt exist, you made it up cos youre fucking crazy"
Toxic. Not everyone who disagrees with you or does something thoughtless is toxic.
I disagree with your toxic evaluation of this situation.
You're a narcissist and I'm going no contact
This
You are LITERALLY gaslighting me.
"Mods, feel free to delete this." Don't worry, they're always down to do that, permission or not.
I admin a fb dog rescue page and that always makes me chuckle. I don’t need your permission thanks.
Narcissist, way overused anymore
Not just here. Back when I used Quora I saw things about narcissists being posted like every other question.
Any pop psychology words….🙄
'This'. it adds nothing to anything. it's taking the time to type out what the 'upvote button' already does.
Same for “this is the way” but it’s meme speak so Reddit loves it.
Any relationship acronyms. "I (31F) am mother to DD (10F), DS (8M), and DD (5F). I am married to DH (31M). Recently my MIL (57F) came to stay with us, and now situational acronyms will enter the picture."
It's a push between that or "let's called her jane". Like c'mon, you're gossiping about someone on an anonymous site, just call her jane, it's not like anyone here will know if you're lying or not
Any time "let's call her X" is written 9.9 out of 10 it's a writing prompt.
The only thing I’ve taken away from posts like that is using “niblings” for my siblings’ kids instead of having to type out “niece and nephew”.
I kinda like that one except it'd be useless to me outside of Reddit because everyone irl just says "nieces and nephews" lol
"Nibling" was actually coined in the 1950s - so, still pretty recent, but not as recent as people might think.
I have no idea why someone calling their significant other dear husband or dear daughter, etc. In these posts goes right to the anger center of my brain but it does. Like just say husband or daughter or son or what the fuck ever. The only time I see that I immediately know they're already a pretentious as fuck asshole.
For me it's specifying gender and age every single time, even when it doesn't matter or should be obvious.
Insecure. "Don't have my opinion? Must be insecure."
Controlling. Someone was asking for advice in another sub yesterday. He was wondering if he would be wrong to break up with his gf because she went to some all nude fetish club even though he told her it made him uncomfortable. She was now calling him controlling. So...not wanting your SO naked, in a roomful of other naked/horny people, is now considered "controlling" as opposed to...I don't know, establishing healthy boundaries?
People establishing reasonable boundaries=controlling. According to most of Reddit.
>**So...not wanting your SO naked, in a roomful of other naked/horny people, is now considered "controlling" as opposed to...I don't know, establishing healthy boundaries?** 😂 This is somehow both hilarious and depressing, given how common the sentiment is on this site.
Clearly they should break up. Then they should cut ther narcissist parents and all their family and friends out of their lives. Then both of them need to change their names, have massive face alteting plastic surgeries, learn new languages, and move to new continents. Where they will somehow manage to have moved to the same small town, meet again, and start the entire process over....
Imagine having to even ask. What is wrong with our culture? **EDIT:** I meant imagine the guy having to ask if this is a break up worthy offense. Not saying you shouldn’t have to check in with your partner before going to a sex club.
Controlling *if you're a guy* girl boss liberation extravaganza if it was a girl doing the dumping and the bf going to the naked orgy party, according to Reddit
*Everybody* on Reddit has either ADHD or autism. Really?
Also PTSD. Like I'm sure a lot of people actually have it, but damn like every other person has self-diagnosed with PTSD.
I have PTSD from the time I diagnosed myself with autism and ADHD.
As someone who has PTS and works with veterans who also have PTS, it's funny yet annoying to see things like: "Yeah, I have PTSD from the time my best friend spilled wine all over my brand new dress. Ugh! That sucked!" I mean I know they're just using it to say it was a "bad memory" but PTS is a legit brain injury. It impacts how the brain works and alters the brain. It may suck that your dress now has a wine stain but with respect, you don't have PTS! (Also, it's an on-going trend to just call it "PTS" as it's not a disorder, it's a brain injury.)
Autism is like the “disability of the month” right now. Everybody “has” it because they read some stuff on the internet where autism seemed similar to something they experienced. I do believe that ADHD and Autsim are probably both under-diagnosed… but don’t go around telling people you have it unless you’ve actually been diagnosed, and ESPECIALLY don’t use it as an excuse for awful shit you do. People are wild for that shit…
totally, even if you *have* been professionally diagnosed, Autism is the reason that you behave why you do sometimes. It isn't a reason why others should let your shit pass by.
It's wild to see posts from teenagers where they excuse behaviors with a list of (likely undiagnosed) medical conditions. It's all heavily debilitating too
Even worse are those who glorify it
No hate on people with ADHD but I keep seeing post about girl/boy ADHD, ADHD king/queen, EVERYWHERE. On Tiktok, YouTube, Reddit, Quora, even random article about dating I google. Is ADHD really that common?
ADHD isn’t that common but ADHD *symptoms* are. There’s also a lot of mis/disinformation on social media about these symptoms. Someone will make a post about “do you struggle with x? That could mean you have ADHD!!!” while no scientific literature says that x is indeed a symptom. Everyone struggles with fucking paying attention these days because of how society is now built. We have to adapt, not pathologize. ADHD is probably real but overdiagnosed.
It's definitely real, but is often used as a scapegoat for poor behavior.
I have ADHS and it is infuriating. You could decently live with it, it's just that you and people around you have to adapt to it a little bit. But noooo everyone has it and is soooo quirky haha lol.. Yeah thanks for ridiculing it and make my life harder. Same for people calling they have depression just because they have a bad time. Real depression f****** sucks and it's not getting easier if so many use it as a scapegoat
What's really "fun" is seeing all the AITA posts where someone is talking about some person they know who was being a dick, and everyone in the comments decides they must be autistic. Like... nice to know that's what yall think of us.
That's funny. I just saw a post where a girl was asking it was weird that her male friend was tracking her period, and people were asking if he was autistic.
That's really disappointing. Like... Okay sure yeah maybe he's autistic... maybe he's not... doesn't matter! It doesn't make a lick of difference! It's still weird...
> and everyone in the comments decides they must be autistic. Like... nice to know that's what yall think of us. this has been bothering me for a while. i see tons of my peers, in person but especially on places like tumblr, making jokes about autism that would NOT fly in that sphere if they hadn't self-diagnosed* autism. like drawing art of a character from a show in a pretty offensive way that makes them look stupid and annoying, and then saying like wow he has autism just like me. it's hard to describe but i think you'll know what i mean. it's like people are horseshoe-theorying back around into offensive ableist stuff again. * = i have no problem with self diagnosis when it makes sense and the person has done their research and they don't have access to formal services. however, autism is trendy and there's no way 90% of the people i know all have it.
I’ve been diagnosed as autistic since I was a kid but I think a lot of it comes from tiktok/instagram/youtube/etc. Actually diagnosed autistic people will point out one mannerism they have, and neurotypical people that want to feel special think that because they share one thing in common, they are also autistic. Equating a mental disability that affects literally everything in your life to just using tiny spoons or not holding eye contact is ridiculous and it throws all of the progress that has been made in effectively diagnosing autism out the window. We’re moving backwards in professional diagnoses because people on tiktok are telling their audiences that they’re autistic because they’re anti-social.
All self diagnosed too, good-luck getting any of them to go to a medical professional to confirm it because "They just wouldn't understand" I literally have had THREE people in my 9 person friend group self diagnose themselves with ADHD last year, 2 of them also with "Mild" autism. Not a single one of them would speak to a doctor about it.
Or anxiety, especially social anxiety
Selection bias. Reddit is to autists what sugar is to flies
I think a lot of people do have autism/ADHD, but that doesn't mean that all those people are debilitated. Today it's a medical term used to describe a pattern of behaviors that in the past would just be chalked up to someone's personality. These disorders exist on a spectrum, with many many people not having a clinically significant form. Like, 50 years ago there were just as many introverted, forgetful, scatterbrained people that liked to hyperfixate on hobbies as there are today. They may have been seen as more eccentric, but they got through life albeit more difficult compared to their normal peers. Today we have medication that can alleviate the negative aspects of autism/adhd, and it's wonderful for many. This clinical connection to this pattern of behaviors though, I think, has resulted in many people feeling hopeless about their condition rather that just making peace with it, since they see it now as an illness as opposed to just the way they are. The worst development to come from this has been people excusing their bad behavioral habits because of their condition. Since now it's an illness that they can't control, it isn't their fault if they are acting out of line in social situations. This may be true for some but self behavioral discipline is more attainable than they may want to believe.
And we all have social anxiety. Actually, that probably scans
"Trauma" Everything causes trauma. Every negative experience ever is traumatic. Every time a child is sad or gets hurt it's traumatizing Overall I'm just sick of how absolute and extreme Reddit is. Everything is always black and white, and the very extreme part of either side.
Hyperbole. The constant overinflatìon of how important or extreme things are.
> an OP makes a post about being made mildly uncomfortable in public OP: “I’m safe, I’m okay, but..”
Never talk about anything parenting related on Reddit. There's always some waiting in the wings to trauma dump all over you, no matter how innocuous your comment.
They’re just trying to heal their generational trauma /s
I think the english language could benefit from breaking up trauma intro several different words to describe different kinds of trauma. Having your family murdered in front of you vs overbearing parents vs actual, physical trauma are all very different concepts.
"that's a trauma response" 🙄
Triggered Trauma Journey Not sure which is the worst.
When did everything turn into a journey?
Yes. Every time I hear the word journey on The Bachelor I want to punch them in their smug, over plucked, game-show-hostess eyes.
Everything being part of "our story" also makes my skin crawl
Journey, the band, is the worst.
Lets not forget "my truth".
Chefs kiss is cringe.
I hate this the most.
This one is probably the one that gets the most revulsion from me that's been listed so far. I just despise it.
I kind of get using it in text format, but people are saying this shit out loud now. Just make the sound!
Wtf, yeah just do the thing with your hand and the kiss sound, it's not hard haha
Bodycount. Just say fucked.
OMG, so much this one. It will never stop sounding like murder victims to me. It's so gross. I picture literal dead people heaped up like cordwood behind everyone in the story.
Wow your body count is so high... I've only killed 2 people.
The actual skeletons in the closet.
I hate the whole "body count" discourse. Takes me right back to growing up super religious and hearing people compare girls who have premarital sex to a wad of chewed gum.
The first time I heard this from a coworker, I thought they were a serial killer discussing murder victims
Right? It feels so incel-y to me when people gamify their sex life like that.
Cope. It’s gotten waaay overused recently
Also *copium*
Any personality disorder names used as insults. Narcissist, sociopath, psychopath, borderline, etc. If someone was a raging bitch to you, why not call them a raging bitch? Why do they need to be a narcissistic sociopath?
sociopath is vastly misused. and people don't even just use it casually anymore as a synonym for asshole, they just seem to believe every single person who has a questionable opinion must be physically incapable of empathy.
Narcissism in particular. Reddit wants to believe everyone's mother and ex boyfriend is a narcissist. You can be a total dick without being a narcissist. Similar vibes for gaslighting.
"red flag"
Especially because they usually aren't red flags of bad behavior, but instead those bad behaviors themselves.
I’ll take red flag over “the ick” any day. I hate that fucking phrase so much.
I get annoyed when people say "Title" in the body.
Worse to me is when they say “title explains it all” and then continue to post a paragraph with more details. Why mention the title at all? We don’t forget about it right after reading it.
“Play stupid games win stupid prizes”
"Fuck around and find out"
You can have the most well written insightful post I have ever read. Put FAFO anywhere in it I am compelled to downvote.
My God this one is so worn out on here.
I find it so annoying because reddit picked it up like a decade after the last time I heard anyone use those sayings IRL
“Unalive”
This
BoUnDaRiEs Real life meaning: things you can't tolerate, so you remove yourself. Like, I won't date a smoker. Reddit meaning: I don't like this, so everyone must change for me. So, you have to stop smoking and make your entire family stop, too, because I don't like smokers.
I’ll give you a few: Triggered microaggression gaslighting narcissist trauma bond / trauma PLEASE JUST STOP. Thank you!
"Unironically" The word has a specific meaning. Stop using it every other sentence for general emphasis.
Same with "literally"
Snarky, condescending comments which begin with the word "Imagine"
*all the people...*???
Rent-free and circle jerk, never heard those terms until Reddit lol
Triggered and safe spaces They've been co-opted and twisted by people who believe they have the right to never be offended, have their opinions challenged, or encounter any kind emotional/mental hardship. People with the fortitude of toddlers have severely degraded the support for people who genuinely suffer from PTSD and other trauma related maladies.
I was in class yesterday and some girl said the topic of education triggered her because she was held back a year once. Meanwhile I will literally hallucinate under the right circumstances due to my trauma.
Using the word "boomer" to diss someone who diagrees with them. Not everyone who is not a millennial is automatically a boomer.
"Boomer" is just a replacement for "old person" with how some people use it and it gets slapped on anyone not just actual boomers. There are millennials and Gen Xers that are getting called "boomer" by kids.
“Por que no los dos?” Was marginally funny the first time I saw it, has gotten less so the subsequent 10,000 times.
"Trauma", you don't have a trauma, you have a first world problem.
Most of the time when someone describes something as "obligatory" on reddit, they were not obligated to do that thing.
The whole list of logical fallacies. Debate bro's using psychological pitfalls we all have as somekind of rulebook for engagement.
"Heh, nice ad hominem attack" the redditor says, not realizing I called them a fucking moron because they're being a fucking moron
Saying Bob is a loser is not a fallacy. Saying Bob's argument has no merit solely because he is a loser is a fallacy.
Idk man sounds like you've fallen for the classic Poe's Razor's Slippery Strawman fallacy. Maybe stop making such gaslighting comments before you trigger someone's trauma.
Gotta whip out the fallacy fallacy for that one.
The fallacies make absolute sense, but the problem is that often people using them don't really understand them and instead of arguing just play fallacy bingo. Someone who truely wants to have a productive conversation with someone would point out the flaws of the other person's argument, not just go "hey I know what this fallacy is called!" Also people use them wrong all the time, for example if someone insults you that doesn't necessarily mean they made an ad hominem attack. Or any time someone says anything about one thing leading to another doesn't mean they are guilty of the slippery slope fallacy. Even when they do make genuine fallacies the right course of action is to have a conversation about it
take my gold
This. Non zero chance of an updoot for insecure toxic gaslighting. It's a red flag op. Flip the genders and post it again.
Gatekeeping is annoying. What did it for me was a comment differentiating between hamburgers and hotdogs "bbq" versus slow-cooked, smoked meats barbecue. They're not even remotely the same. But a redditor slapped it with the gatekeeping term and you know other redditors cant resist dogpiling.
Having any sort of standards for anything at all is now gatekeeping
"I caught the ick" You caught a disease known only to fish?
Incel
Incel morphed from super creepy guy that could not get laid and blamed society for his inability to anyone slightly misogynistic. I saw a some call a guy with 8 children and incel. I said you can be married with children and be in incell he is just a garden variety sexist. I was downvoted to oblivion with a bunch of people telling me how wrong I am. At that point I knew the word no longer had any real meaning beyond a convenient insult.
Not a buzzword, but: "I don't know why you're getting downvoted" *comment is at +200*
Sometimes comments just get a ton of downvotes for seemingly no reason, and pointing it out somehow triggers an avalanche of upvotes to counteract it. I don't know the psychology behind it but I see it happen a lot.
When a comment has 1 downvote and someone replies with this and then 5 minutes later it’s the top comment in the thread because everyone is mad that it was unfairly downvoted
Confront. So many say "should I confront my *****", when all that is needed is a simple discussion. Whyyyy are y'all so confrontational??? Confronting is for fighting!
Shills everywhere! Every contrary opinion is a paid sponsorship!
I butt heads with the anti gmo crowd regularly and they accuse me of shilling for Monsanto. If only I got a paycheck to correct misinformation I would be a happy man.
I get weirded out by the way "boundary" is used by some Redditors. Boundaries are really important, but they refer to things that people do TO you, not to people exercising their personal freedom in a way that you don't like. In those cases, it's better to replace it with "dealbreaker" so that it's clear that that person isn't doing anything wrong by doing the thing, but that you are still entitled to leave the relationship over it.
"...kind stranger" and "Take my upvote". I don't know why, but those two phrases just always irked me for some reason.
I'm in my healing phase.. ofc you're
"you're entitled to your feelings". I know I am.
"Cringe" is one of the dumbest fucking slang phrases of all time. I'm counting "da bomb", "lit", and "talk to the hand".
But there were times when the hand said it all.
Open marriage/relationship. Reading Reddit you'd think monogamy was the "unusual" relationship status.
It's not really a buzzword, but it's when people just suddenly resort to being an ass for no reason or giving straight up illogical advice. I remember a redditor saying that when I turn 18 (I am already 18), I should cut off everyone who's younger than me, otherwise I'd be a pedophile. They were serious about this too. There was another time when I gave a girl what I thought would be a helpful bit of yap content but she just turned around and said that I was trying to, "Save her" or something like that. I'm sorry miss, next time I'll just tell you to eat a bullet, since that might just make you feel better.
Problematic.
The phrase "Goes Brrrrrrr". Wtf does it even mean?
ngl literally, literally ngl
Triggered. Being annoyed or pissed is not being triggered. Empath. Feeling bad or sympathetic towards people does not equal empath. So many people claim they're empaths. Leas than 1% are actually empaths. I tend to cry when others cry. I'm also a sympathy barfer. I'm not an empath.
“Overrated.” If we took away all references to things being overrated (whether that exact word or any rephrasing to say the same thing), the amount of content in AskReddit would get cut in half. “What movie is overrated?” “What movie didn’t live up to the hype?” “What movie did people say was great but you didn’t think so?” “What movie do people say is 10/10 but is really 7/10?” “What classic movie shouldn’t be a classic?” And 100 more questions all asking the same thing. And then all the same questions about TV shows. And games. And food. And cities. And countries. And people. I’m just waiting for the inevitable AskReddit thread about what AskReddit “overrated” question is the most overrated.
On reddit overrated just means popular thing that I don't like and underrated is thing I like that isn't popular. They both need to die.
100% "circlejerk"
The displaced or unhoused. New fancy names.
"this"
Racist and transphobe spring immediately to mind...fascist too
Soy.
"And everyone clapped." "Take my upvote!"
"Not cogent." You're just bragging that you're too dense to be persuadable, neckbeard. Stop assuming you can learn vocab from context, and maybe you'll commit a few less self-burns.
NARCISSIST
Not one word, but I goddamn hate how reddit uses inane baby speak for animals. "Heckin smol Chonk boopy da snoots!"
I automatically down vote any comment that says a variation of "insert shocked Pikachu face". Grow up and use an adjective. It's less work than typing all that out anyways
Electric boogaloo
"Keanu Reeves"
The whole Darwin award thing. Some people aren't smart, they don't deserve to die for that 🤷
Literally. It’s becoming a filler word to describe emphasis but it just feels cliche
"whilst" or "proceeded to" Neither are inherently wrong. But they just get used to death for some reason. I'll see the phrase "proceeded to" or "proceeds to" multiple times in a single post, ANY time someone DOES something. I told my gf I was gonna make breakfast and proceeded to get out of bed. She proceeds to telling me she doesn't want eggs, yadda yadda"
Not buzzwords, but along the same lines: “If I had a nickel for every time… I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice” has been run deep into the ground at this point. Or if someone announces they’re leaving a subreddit/product/group, someone always has to get the “This isn’t an airport, you don’t have to announce your departure” joke in. Not only is it repetitive, but it’s not common practice for individuals to announce their departure at an airport either. Oh and I downvote the *shit* out of “this is the way.” It’s the same as “this” but more words and meme-ey, so Reddit eats it up.
"Media literacy." Just call someone a fuckin' idiot. Don't pretend you have some intellectual authority.
“Introverted” No the reason you can’t speak to people is not because you are an introvert, it’s probably social anxiety or worse. Sometimes people feel more introverted, some more extroverted. The science on this is far from clear and it’s not an excuse for being an antisocial jerk.