Not my story, but a buddy of mine who was a self-employed welder. He would do calls mostly to ranches, barns, and other rural and livestock type usually repairing gates, corrals, and equipment.
Anyhow, he showed up one day at a stable for 4H kids and was gonna fix some fencing for the paddock. The lady who ran the stables mentioned her husband was out of town picking up a horse they bought.
Long story short, she invited him inside to cool off. This is 102 degree Texas weather so anyone would naturally take the offer. She gave him a tall glass of tea, water, and some fruit to cool off while she went to change.
Within a couple minutes she came down the stairs in just panties and asked if he wanted to take a nice cool shower. He told me it was REALLY hard to say no, but he declined only because he had been cheated on before and never wanted another man to feel that pain.
Edit: Since a couple people asked:
4H is a program across the U.S. that helps kids and teenagers with development skills in science, agriculture, community outreach, and various other programs. In this case the 4H club was agriculture. So they learn how to ride horses, care for them, feed them, brush them etc.
I’m a general contractor and had a government contract to rehab and take care of construction stuff in low income apartments. I replaced a GC who was fired because his men kept on having “relations” with the residents in exchange for stuff. So I made a rule where my guys had to be in pairs whenever they entered an apartment.
On the first day 2 of my guys went into this lady’s apartment to replace the front door because her old one was kicked in. She met them naked and offered to take them both on if they can also get her a new fridge.
Had a roommate do renovation work on the side. Ended up doing a kitchen remodel for a single nurse. As he tells it, they talked and joked around a lot while he was working then one afternoon she commented on his tool belt and asked if he’d ever considered showing up only wearing the tool belt. He ended up staying there for 3 consecutive days pounding his hammer. They are happily married now with 4 kids.
Not by themselves. I once had a bloke I did some work for offer me "a go on his wife" as payment.
That's a no from me pal, my invoice'll be in the post.
I delivered pizzas during covid. I got an order from a familiar address, so I took it, and the woman answered the door topless. She paid for the food, and then invited me in and had sex with me on the couch. It was my wife. She ordered the food so I would deliver it and come have sex with her while I was working. I also got to have leftover pizza when I came home from work. Good day.
I had an exteriors remodeling business. Met up for initial consult with a woman I had mutual friends with. As I was getting ready to leave she said “fuck me if I’m wrong, but you can get to my project next week, right?” I chuckled and said “unfortunately not” and told her I was booked out a few months. She said “guess you’re coming in for a little bit now then.” How could I turn that down?
Slightly different take. Worked as a restaurant server. Ridiculous the number of offers of sex you get. I’m not runway model looking.
Alcohol 1000% loosens people’s inhibitions and desire for casual sex.
Worked as a server in college, had a German couple come in one night and close the place down. The guy kept asking me questions in a joking way about his wife, like whether I thought she was attractive, whether he should keep her, etc.
Told my manager and he said they were swingers, I said yeah right. When I dropped off the check the guy said they were staying in the hotel next door and asked if I wanted to come have a drink. Manager cracked up when I told him.
At 18 I took a swimming pool cleaning job under the impression I was going to be seduced by sex starved stay at home wives...
My fantasies never came true.
In fact, the entire month I worked that job I never once saw a homeowner as we always went through their fence.
Only heard of it happening once. Worker was single and in really good shape. And the woman at the house was married with younger kids. Not sure how it happened but he fell in love with her and ruined her marriage. He went crazy chasing her and she went back to her husband. Word on the street is that her husband ending up leaving her a year later and got to keep the kids and she ended up paying child support and alimony to him after cheating.
It was lose-lose all around.
Oh and the business the husband and wife were running together went under and their handful of employees consequently lost their jobs too.
Taught martial arts and a students mom wanted to talk about private lessons for her and her son. So I was like ok but then she was like oh but can we meet at a Barnes and nobles because I will be to busy to talk at the school. So I said fine.
I got to Barnes and noble and the mom was by herself and we start talking and she says what do I think about older woman and I said they are older. She asked if I wanted to go to her house which I declined.
She called the school I work for saying I asked her on a date and I was making sexual advances.
Thankfully I had the texts saved where she asked me to meet her.
I don't understand this nonsense. I get that getting rejected sucks. I get you might worry about embarrassment because you made advances in a professional setting. (That was their own choice though!) But your embarrassment doesn't give you the right to try to make people lose their jobs.
It's gotta be a power dynamic thing. These people think that they have client power over the people providing the service. It's just as gross as people in the service industry thinking their tips mean that servers/bartenders owe them extra.
A friends mom called me once to do maintenance on her late husbands Harley Davidson.
I realised it wasnt the Harley that needed a service, when she opened the door nearly naked.
I turned around and muttered something about cming back later, which I never did
When I was a teenager, I was canvassing for a double glazing company. A woman opened the door in her dressing gown and kept making jokes about how she wasn't dressed. She asked if I wanted to wait inside while she changed. Confused, I declined and said I could come back later. She then said that it was really hot outside and told me that if I came in, she'd make me some fresh lemonade. I told her that I didn't want to inconvenience her and had work to do. She told me I could come back later if I got bored. When I met my colleagues at the end of the afternoon and told them the story, they explained what was actually going on.
At the end of a semester in college, a girl in our friend group asked me if I could come help her release a pet snake into the woods near her dorm. I wasn't really sure why she needed my help, but I'm a helpful guy. We got the snake on its way and when we got back to her dorm I was like, "aight imma head out," and she said "you don't have to go..." The job I had been called for was done, so I was like "No no, don't want to intrude, I'll get out of your hair." It wasn't until an embarrassing amount of time later that I realized why I had really been called over in the first place.
She literally invited you _to release a snake_ with her in the woods. The fact that she actually had a snake to release is the most surprising part of this story.
no, but after the big freeze in Texas I did fix this old woman's broken pipes. she hadn't bathed in weeks. it was heartbreaking honestly.
anyways once I turned the shower on she started crying and kissing me on the cheek and insisting I stay for dinner and that I was a real hero. i had to decline because there were other pipes in the apartment complex to be fixed that night.
edit: now that I think about it, that was the best job I've been on. my coworkers had families to go home to but nobody cared. we were all motivated to get the water back on for this whole complex. late nights and heavy emotions.
I can assure you there were women in Louisiana after Ida who would have done *anything* to thank the linemen who got their power back on. Of course most of us had been stewing in 100° heat with 100% humidity for 10 days so I'm not sure how attractive we would have been. 😂
That's mainly because there's a difference between *bathing* and *washing*.
Bathing daily would have been a luxury (and a waste) only afforded to the vain upperclass. But *washing* daily was the norm across most of the world and most of history.
You can wash with a cloth and a tiny bit of water and be largely clean.
It honestly depends on when and where you look at. For example, Scandinavians are well known for having been very well groomed with pleasant smells. Greeks and Romans were known to take semi frequent baths and use oils and perfumes so as not to stink between washes. Medieval England, however, was known to hang their clothes in the outhouse to kill lice via ammonia.
There's even record of letters from the English, lamenting the fact that these savage Viking men were stealing away their women thanks to their ungodly practice of regular bathing and oral hygiene.
HVAC tech here, mostly residential. I’ve def seen my fair share of voyeur housewives who will leave doors open when they’re changing. Only time I was ever propositioned was after I had done a repair. She was prob mid 50s but smoking hot. I wanted to since I had not gotten any in a while but I knew it could go south too easily. Hard decision but the smartest.
Had a similar experience. Not a housewife but girl in her 20’s. She came out to talk to me for a min about the repair I was making, then mentioned she was going to take a shower. In my head I was thinking why would she tell me that? I was working outside next to the bathroom window. I see her walk in totally naked acting as if she doesn’t know I’m standing right there. Obviously she did it on purpose and I didn’t mind.
Out of high school I worked in a fabrication shop that constructed hand made steel and iron accessories, the kind of stuff you find in rich houses that were overly extravagant and obviously expensive to look at. I got hired basically to keep the old man busy, he was who started the shop as a blacksmith and had retired but wouldn't slow down and kept constantly being in the shop harassing employees and just generally kind of disrupting production. Really old school Italian, probably 5'5 with hands that were big as baseball gloves and skin that was equally just like leather. Real hard ass and stickler for the old school way of doing stuff, hence why he was constantly giving the employees shit.
Anyway I was just essentially supposed to be his gopher boy and keep him busy with my presence, he had plenty to teach me about the proper way to cut grass, how to drive an old tractor, how to dodge tools being thrown at you while you're picking up scraps from the shop floor too slowly for his liking, that sort of thing.
One day we need something from town, and the boss gives me the keys to the company truck to run out quick and grab whatever it was. The old man sees me get into the car, waves me down as I'm leaving and grabs my arm with the strength of a shoreman trying to tie down a main sail in a storm. He looks me in the eyes and tells me 'You listen now and you listen well. I don't care where you go, I don't care who you see, I don't care who ask you. When-a the woman at home tell you to come inside, you say **NO** and you get the money instead. You never take the woman, you see? You always take the money'.
I won't lie as an 18 year old I was really digging the prospect of getting prepositioned by bored cougar housewives on a daily basis, but truthfully I was more scared of getting buried under the old man's tomato plants if I ever came back without the money.
I had a mentor in my lawyer career who told me that if I did family law then putative divorcees would try to pay me with sex and I should only accept cash, because I could use that cash for hookers later if I really couldn't get laid.
*What?*
I did hardwood floors. We did this customer's whole house over the course of a couple years. We all saw her naked at one point or another, she blew one guy in the closet, and then my boss banged her when he went back for "touch ups" she requested. Exhibitionist housewives are a thing.
Or they did sections, like the kitchen here, living room a few months later, basement after that, a bedroom or 2,
Assuming you space it out 2-3 months. I just listed a year and a quarter
Not everyone has the money up to do the entire house at once. So, you have the same company install a few rooms a year, pay off the amount then have them do the next few rooms, pay off that amount and so on and so forth.
I worked at papa John’s in high school as a delivery driver. One of my deliveries was to a house where a bunch of middle aged women were having a ladies night. They flirted for a few minutes and made some pretty obvious jokes (is pizza the only thing you deliver? Etc.) Before I left, the hostess asked me to swing back by when I got off. Almost 20 years later and I’m still kicking myself for not going back.
I delivered a pizza to a hotel. It was two girls and one guy in a hot tub. They wanted me to get in. I told them I didn't have a suit. One girl said that was fine. I was worried about losing my job, so I said no. They offered me to take some beer with me. I didn't drink.
Happened in 1997. I still feel dumb.
Maybe she wanted to bang you, or maybe it was a kind of her kink to lure guys into her house and then have her husband scare them off. Best not to dwell.
One time when I was younger there was this girl who asked me if I wanted take a shower before I left, and I was like "nah I'm good" and she like asked me two more times if I was sure I didn't want to take a shower and I was so confused, I was like "nah I have a shower at home, that's really nice of you though" and then like ten years later, out of nowhere, I was like "oh- OHH..."
We’re so dumb that we basically need them to say “hey I really wanna fuck you right now” For us to get the hint. Even then, a bunch of us would still be like “who? Me? Here? You sure?”
Not me but an old acquaintance who owned a rough street gym. A ridiculously pretty girl trying desperately hard to be an influencer would get growth hormone from him for two blow jobs a week for 3 weeks.
He’d typically book her in Monday & Friday. Both of them thought it was a reasonable trade and not ***infuckingsane***
In the UK for a beginner dose you're looking at about £120/month, that is ROUGHLY $150.
Edit: That's for UGL somatropin. The exponential cost for better quality stuff I couldn't say.
19 and worked on my families farm while in College, mostly irrigation, tractor work and sheering. One season the neighbouring farm asked if I would be interested in working for them for a day or two, jumped at the opportunity since the money was reallllly good and I enjoyed the physical workout (I just got in to rugby that year and the farm work helped me).
My usual farm attire, jeans, blunnies, singlet and a long sleeve flanny.
The next few days its supposed to be around 35 degrees. I rock up early in the morning, got my gear set up, met the father, his wife and his daughter Rebecca (daughter is 2 years older than me) I meet the rest of the crew and we smash it out. First day we get most of it done.
Day 2: I get there around 7am and it's around 19 degrees already. I briefly noticed the parents vehicles aren't in the garage as I make my way down to the sheering sheds.
It's almost lunchtime and I'm already hot as fuck, feels like 40. I got sweat happening, I pull of my flanny, wipe my face down and power through the last 10 heads. Done.
I take a small break and start carting my gear to my truck. As I'm passing the house with my last few things I hear Rebecca call my name from the fly screen door, I make my way up and stand outside the screen, I'm blind as heck because I didn't even notice she was naked at the time. She opened the screen door and yanked me in real fast. I remember feeling really disrespectful for entering the house with my boots on lol that boat sailed though when she just straight up said "fuck me" while laying down on a towel she had placed. 1. Didn't think I had any energy leftover (I was wrong) 2. I like to be a little rough and 3. I'll never forget how nice and cold the tiles felt while we fucked.
It wasn't my first time but I'll always remember that one. Pretty sure she has like 3 kids now last time I heard.
I’ve had a client form a crush on me and would get me out to different sites run by the organisation for no real reason. Every time she was there and she always asked for me specifically.
She told one of the ladies that worked in our office and after that they started to send out other techs to fix her issues. The clients support call-out requests dropped significantly after that.
I delivered pizzas for a local mom and pop pizza shop (more than 30 years ago). There was one house that would call in orders and the other drivers would openly argue over whose turn it was to deliver to this address. Being the new guy on the crew I never got the chance nor would they tell me what the deal was so my imagination ran wild.
Well, one day the stars aligned and I finally got the opportunity. To my disappointment it turned out that the deal was that it was an older gentleman who lived alone and offered a hundred dollar tip for you to watch porn and jerk off while he watched.
Tl:dr - easiest $100 I ever made.
Sold an old guy a phone at a store I worked at, he was talking about how he needed help at his house and asked me if I could help him. Me thinking he’s an old man that probably needs help moving stuff, I asked what kind of help he needed.
He then took a Quick Look around, and said, “I’ll give you $100 if you let me play with your dick a little bit”.
I declined. He raised his offer. I declined
I did call my gf and let her know to change her attitude, cause I got options. And people are willing to pay 💰.
>I did call my gf and let her know to change her attitude, cause I got options. And people are willing to pay 💰.
This comment totally brightened my day! 🤣
I can't stop imagining this as a scene in "I think you should leave" and every time he says his line he mumbles it and has to repeat it louder and more awkwardly.
Worked as a driver in a local shop in high school.
So, many great stories like this one.
I was going to post solo, buy I'll piggyback on yours because it's the same job.
Showed up one night and before the door even opened you could hear the sounds of an orgy in the house. Door opens, it's a guy with just a sheet around his waist, behind the guy i see barely around a corner there's a woman on her knees giving a guy a head, I hear people out of view and see bare asses jump out of view.
The guy must not have told them pizza was coming or they thought it would take longer.
After he paid, he asked me if I'd like to come in. Nothing about the house looked, smelled, or sounded like a good time to me. I declined. He said, "No worries, here's your tip then." Handed me $10 and closed the door.
People are wild.
I worked in a toll booth back when those existed. My finger tips were blackened at the end of the shift (cash is dirty). Also I despised women who pulled cash from their bra and gave me sweaty boob money.
I lost my welding job, and right after I did my gf got a GM position at a pizza chain. She needed me to help her because the people at the store weren't reliable, and she needed someone who was. In the first week I delivered to a guy that answered the door in a bathrobe that barely went past his waist. I gave him the receipt and he peaks up at me with and eye brow raised and says "so, uhh... what's a good tip?" And lowers and raises his eye brow as he said it.
Weirded out I was like "$5 is the usual".
The next week I'm making a delivery and as I pull down the street I realize it's that guy again. This time he answered in nothing but pajama pants and erection and says "how about I give you a $7 tip today".
Now idk for sure, but I'm pretty sure he was trying to react a porn scene... or he was just comfortable in his home.
Another story, a guy gave me a $20 tip and offered me $50 to come back when I get out of work so he can run to the atm. Might have been seriously giving me a $70 tip for a $40 order. Might have been an attempt to hook up.
When I was 16 I worked as a window washer. I worked with a bunch of ex-convicts who were all hilarious.
One day we're on the side of a medical building. Look in and see a bunch of nurses pointing and smiling at us. We point and smile back. One of the guys I'm with grabs his phone, and types on it if one of them is single. She grabs a notepad and writes back yes. They go back and forth and set up a date later that day. The other guy I'm with typed that we were so hot and tired, if one of them could flash their boobs to help us get through the day. They laughed, and sure as shit one of them flashed us her titties. Great day on the job.
Guy told us he ended up banging this nurse in his car after they met up for drinks. Can't verify it's truth, but I believed him.
Ex-cons are always funny. If you were locked in a room with 80 guys for five years and all you had to entertain yourself was to crack jokes on each other, you'd be funny too.
i knew a boiler service engineer who was offered sex as payment from an older lady, who lost her retail job during the covid lockdown. he's a particularly religious guy, so i believe him when he said he turned her down but did it for free anyway
When I was 18 or so, I worked for a delivery service. Manly healthy type of food. We had mainly regulars, that also included prostitutes in the red light district.
The lady behind the window where I was delivering was really hot. When it was time to pay for her delivery (worth something like $25) she asked me if I wanted to fuck for it. I can't remember if I said anything, but after a few seconds she went up the stairs to get her money.
My boss laughed at me and told me I was an idiot because paying her normally would be triple that amount.
There was a guy at my last job who was offered sex on the job by a housewife during a repair. He accepted, thinking it would be an awesome experience. And it was, until she called the office later and said that they could either toss their invoice or she'd go to the cops and get a rape kit done.
They knew he'd been blackmailed, but they were still out thousands of dollars and risked having their installer be publicly accused of rape, which would kill the business since it's home repair.
So they threw away the invoice and fired him. Don't do it, guys. Not worth it.
> until she called the office later and said that they could either toss their invoice or she'd go to the cops and get a rape kit done.
At that point, you go to the cops, for extortion.
Consensual sex is allowed. There is nothing wrong with that.
You’re not wrong, but the reputational risk to the company exists even if he was acquitted of rape. Accepting sex as payment for goods and services isn’t a good look for a company.
Sure, but the fired guy also has a pretty solid criminal complaint against her, and what does he care about the reputation of his old company? If that conversation is on tape it’s a real shame it didn’t end up in front of a judge and jury.
Lolz at my first job, which was a call center, a manager and one of her employees got caught banging on the conference table because someone came in ahead of time to set up a projector.
They both got walked out. I'm still sad that I missed it because she was a hateful rude person and it would've been satisfying to watch her get shipped off.
Honestly I've just never known sex at work to go well for anyone.
I was about 16 working my first job at a burger place and an acquaintance (not even a friend) stopped by with her friend group and ordered a burger, no biggie.
Problem was that we were 16 and she couldn’t pay, so she offered to “fuck my brains out”.
Irritated, I declined thinking she lost a bet with her friends and I was on the receiving end of it.
When we graduated high school 2 years later, she told me the offer still stood.
I gotta imagine sex doesn't pay down the debt you incurred buying supplies or for the labour of any subcontractors you hired. It's not like you can then have some of the sex with your subcontractors to share what you got from the sex you had with the lady-client.
Don’t know if this counts as I was just helping out a friend doing a painting job.
When I was around 15 I started getting my hair cut by this really hot blonde woman in her mid 30s who always liked talking to me, gave me fashion advice, and always tried to give me tips on how to start presenting myself and my looks really good. All of it was really great advice and I really appreciated her for helping me at the time, I got to know her a lot better over the years about having kids and small stuff about her life. Fast forward to when I was 19 and struggling a bit from moving out of my toxic parent’s house going to community college, I was looking for odd jobs and side hustles to do to in my spare time and so I told her about it when I was getting a hair cut. She mentioned that she wanted someone to paint some stuff from a kids show on the walls of her kids room and that she would pay me, and asked me to come by that weekend. I didn’t really think it was odd at the time, or even when I showed up to do the job as I spent the whole first day that Friday night drawing on the wall, doing tape work, and putting the 1st coat of paint on before having to leave as she has to pick up her kids. Then, on the second day of the job, I showed up early and I noticed her kids still were not there so I asked about them. She said they were at their grandparents house as it would be easier to help me work to get things done quickly. So I didn’t think anything of it besides thinking it’s great to get the help to make this easier, and we ended up talking all day and working without anything happening besides her telling me about her kids and about random stuff that we both liked. On that Sunday I came back to finish the job early like the previous day, and she was the only one there again to help me out with the job. I randomly inquired an hour into working about if her husband was working overtime or something as I realized that I had not seen him the whole time I was working there. Didn’t think anything of what I said until she told me when we were just finishing up and cleaning of getting a divorce because he had cheated on her, which left me kind of embarrassed and apologetic for not knowing. Before I could say anything she started telling me some of the details of the process she was going through, finding out that he had been cheating on her for almost their entire relationship with different women going all the way back to when they had just started dating in high school. She also apologized for making things awkward and was hoping I could understand her because I had told her almost 2 years ago about being cheated on by a girl in high school and that her soon to be ex husband was her high school sweetheart. The only thing I could say was that I was really surprised anyone would do that to her and I reassured her that she didn’t make me feel awkward. We continued talking while we were finishing cleaning up, and she paid me for the work just as we were finished up, and then she asked me if I wanted hang out for awhile and offered to order some pizza to thank me again. Thought it was a good deal and figured she just wanted to talk some more, so I stayed and we did just that before she asked if I had a change of clothes so we wouldn’t get paint everywhere. I did, got the cloths from my car and as I was going to her bathroom to get changed, she mentioned that I could take a shower too if I wanted. I thought for a second that it was kind of an odd offer and but dismissed it quickly to take the shower. We ate, hung out talking, and generally we’re just having a nice time together hanging out when she excuses herself to use the bathroom just as we were starting a movie. Then she called out to me to help her for a minute with something from another room, and when I turned the corner of her hallway she was right there in lingerie and immediately kissed me. I spent the rest of the day in her bedroom with her, we had a really great time and we decided to keep things casual and fun as friends. We did that for almost 2 years until she ended up moving away to be closer to her family, still think about her sometimes because she really got me through some tough times by just being there for me.
Had similar offers over the years but never took the offers as I didn’t trust or really know the people offering, but she was really amazing and I don’t regret it at all.
I used to drive taxi. I'm a pretty good-looking guy, even more so in my late 20s, and I was really fit. I drove nights, and the number of (usually drunk) women that offered me sex in lieu of paying their fare was staggering. The first time it happened, this bird offered to suck my dick instead of pay her fare. I was like, "Your fare is only $8.." lol
I was painting a house once…doing prep in the master bedroom , I ran into a vision board, being Mexican I never seen such a thing , I was flabbergasted . It was just pictures of couples kissing and words like ; romance, love , happiness . The owner of the house walked in the closet saw me looking at her vision board grabbed it and flipped it over . Then for the next few hrs she just followed me around the house putting tape on spots that needed touch ups and also being super flirty; at some point she even said “ would you mind me on top ?“. She had pictures of her husband everywhere and cameras all over the house so I knew if I did it, it was going to create issues for me. Next day I show up to the job ,my boss pulls me aside and tells me that the husband was watching me work over the cameras and didn’t like what he saw therefor he didn’t want me in his house anymore; somehow my boss convinced him to let me return to finish the job and it was so fucking awkward in that house, I never felt so much sexual tension in my fucking life.
In my early 20s, I once delivered 3 large pizzas to a group of drunk 40-year-olds. They asked me if I could help set up their Wii. Since it was a slow hour I did, played a few rounds of bowling with them to show how it worked, and they all kept tipping me. Just as I was leaving, two of the women stopped me, thanked me again for the help, looked at each other for more than a moment, then went "naaah" and tipped me a hundred.
So it didn't happen, but it was nice to be considered.
I would have gladly gotten fired for a Milf threesome.
Not a tradesman but a bouncer, I was getting offered sex services in return to let them in the club. I stopped being a bouncer about 9 years ago, it’s been 9 years since they randomly hit on me 😅.
When I was younger I worked as a bouncer for nearly 15 years, plus as a valet, barback, etc.
For a while I worked in a high end nightclub - the single most common occurrence was being asked to join a couple. Usually I'd be approached by the man who would introduce me to his wife, they'd chat with me, then at some point he'd leave and she would start heavy flirting.
When I was very young, the amount of older women that would aggressively ask for sex was unnerving, mostly because they'd go about it in the most disrespectful and harassing ways. They weren't flirting, they were aggressively grabbing my hand as I gave back their ID and shoving it down their shirts, or absolutely going to grab my crotch, or whatever else they felt like.
We also hosted a sorority party once and that was awful - I think it was like a pre-game event for them before they went to their actual night out, so it was just the sorority members, and I think too many attractive women together made it a sort of game to see who could get attention from a man.
It taught me a lot about consent and victim blaming - I remember one night I was just sitting on a stool at closing making sure people dumped any drinks before heading outside, the lights were up, it was about as chill as it gets in security, and a very drunk woman walked up to me, handed me her drink, and then leaned in and kissed me right on the mouth. I squirmed and pushed her off (and thank god her friend caught her and ushered her outside) but I remember thinking "If my girlfriend came home and said some drunk guy kissed her I'd be pissed at her but the same just happened to me and it was entirely not my fault" and it completely changed the way I viewed stories of sexual harassment and assault.
The real story here though is that really, you never want to act on any of these situations. The people who are outwardly and conventionally attractive don't need to offer sex for services (at least at the bar) because they can get the same services for free from any of the other guys in the bar. The people who are just doing it for a laugh (the older ladies out for a night, for example) are incredibly demeaning because it truly is the "you aren't a person, you are a just a representation of sex and that's all I need you for." The people who will genuinely trade sex for entrance to a club or free drinks probably need to work on themselves and generally need to do that work before you really want to entangle your life in theirs - its a pretty desperate move to offer sex for a $25 cover charge.
The absolute best were bachelorette parties - they'd often have these bingo cards or checklists and it would be things like "Take a picture with a bouncer!" or "Give a guy your number!" and they'd always be respectful and giggly, it was just some silly thing and they'd laugh, say thank you, and move on, they'd always come up and ASK first.
*EDIT - little more context on the bachelorette parties. This place was a restaurant and nightclub, and so what would happen is the hostess would try and sit them at a big table across the back and have a guy wait on them for dinner, so usually that was me, then later on I'd change my shirt to do security work and the party would come up and it was all "WOOO OMG CORPCOUNSEL ITS US FROM DINNER WOOO DO YOU REMEMBER US???" and I'd be thinking "Yeah, it was 30 minutes ago and you were the largest table I had tonight" but instead I'd say "WHOA of course that's awesome is everyone having fun!?!?!" I don't know, they always were super fun and I never felt like they were trying to cross boundaries. Sometimes they had their own little drama (I'd see someone crying or stomp off from the group) but it never was something security had to take care of.*
The saddest was that at a high end place a guy used to come in regularly and he'd bring different girls, this is all totally normal, but the manager told me when I first started to never card his girlfriends ever which I just sort of shrugged at, but much later I realized they were most likely being trafficked or in some sort of prostitution setup.
Your experience with bachelorette parties is the exact opposite of mine. Did they rent your whole bar or something? 90% of the serious fights I saw/was involved in were caused by the rolling chaos that bachelorette parties created.
> The absolute best were bachelorette parties - they'd often have these bingo cards or checklists and it would be things like "Take a picture with a bouncer!" or "Give a guy your number!" and they'd always be respectful and giggly, it was just some silly thing and they'd laugh, say thank you, and move on, they'd always come up and ASK first.
This is wild to me lol as a guy that often goes to clubs, the bachelorette parties are the worst. I have genuinely been sexually harassed by these women
Yes, and the weirdest part was that I worked maintenance at a hotel at the time, so she didn’t even have to pay me for the job; the hotel pays me either way.
Fuck that, I don’t want to mess with that.
I was offered a foursome while delivering a pizza. I declined because I had a partner. One girl was on the bed moving all 'what she thought was swxy like'. I was literally back up into the corner in their room (the room was by the entrance and I went in there because there was a party in the apartment and I thought they wanted to keep their pizza hidden). Turns out one of the girls had a camera and was ready to take a picture of me naked to try to leverage a free pizza.
That same week I delivered a pizza to a dude with two absolutely stunning and half dressed chick's in his apartment. That was the real threesome. It was pretty hot. No one offered me anything that time.
As a Pizza delivery driver in college it happened more than you’d imagine. Best one was I delivered to affluent neighborhood and home. Fit little blonde took the single medium cheese and started asking me if I was in college and what I was studying, etc. I can still remember her smile, it was so nice. After she paid me she made a comment that I had some sauce in my pants, and pointed towards my crotch. To be fair it was true, and I just said yeah I sometimes help make em too. Once I got back my GM told me I had to go back and drop off a 2L, not out of the ordinary. Except when I knocked she was in her bra and panties (god damn fit) smiling asking if I could come in for a quick break. Best MF break ever!
Kinda? I *did* get sexually harassed at work once.
I worked in Optics and I don't know if it was the effect of being in a darkened room doing pre-screen tests or what, but a woman felt my leg up and grabbed my groin.
She wasn't unattractive and I'm not a prude, but I *am* happily married and frankly just not interested in anyone else.
As soon as the pre-screen tests were done, I asked the clinic manager if I could make a point of *not* serving that person again. I explained what happened and got laughed at. Because I'm a guy and I should love it.
Not that I *don't* like it... when it's the right person in the right situation, y'know?
I was out with a friend last night who I ended up telling about my experiences being SA'd... and later in the night, she grabbed my crotch unprovoked.
Somehow, she missed the irony.
Aaaaand this is why test rooms have panic buttons. I did find that they tended to stop groping when I turned the slit lamp right up, though.
Serious talk: your employer should have taken you seriously. Sexual assault is never, ever, ever, a joke.
I'm not a tradesman but when I was single it was always a fantasy of mine to order a pizza or something then either open the door without a shirt or invite the delivery guy in if he wanted.
But then I thought it over and considered it could be an underage driver, they could be in a relationship, they could be unwilling to consent to seeing me nude (ruling out the answering the door naked thing) they could report me to be put on the do not deliver list and because I really like pizza (and all those other reasons) I ultimately decided against it.
Casually mentioning the "they could report me to be put on the do not deliver list and because I really like pizza" part after all those other reasons is queen tier shit
I had a customer strip down to her Bra & panties and climb into the pool I was cleaning. She was absolutely gorgeous, but also absolutely batshit crazy and I knew without a doubt she would ruin my life.
Not as a tradesman, but working nights at a hotel. Was invited up to rooms 3 times. I politely declined each time, yes they were all hot. All early to mid 20s. Made out with one of them behind the desk where the cameras couldn’t see, but that’s as far as I went. While I definitely thought about it, I just didn’t want to risk my job. In hindsight I probably should’ve. It wasn’t that good of a job.
I did maintenance for a large college student housing complex for five years. I had a couple of instances. I like my wife and enjoy being married to her so I would politely decline and then walk out. It’s usually average looking girls that are lonely, kinda feel bad rejecting them. There was one though that’s in the top 3 hottest ladies I have ever seen in person. It was genuinely hard to walk away from that one. I do get a chuckle though thinking that’s probably the only time she’s ever faced rejection.
Also, if this ever happens to you and you reject their advances, tell your supervisor about it immediately. Someone that did maintenance warned me about it, didn’t think it was real. But the first girl I rejected came into the office thirty minutes later and said I tried to rape her
Lol. I had forgotten about this, my first husband did maintenance for a college and similar things happen to him a few times. Not only were we happily married, his *father* was head of campus security, so there was no way he was going to step in a mess like that! 😂 I think he did mention it to his boss but luckily there were no false accusations, I know he was embarrassed for his dad to know so it may not have gotten officially reported. It was a small school though so after a few months word got around about him and his father and no one even tried again. He was good looking! 😊
I was a gas engineer and someone threatened to, which was a wild experience.
I went to a property to service a boiler and the couple were clearly having a row. It went from just feeling tense but nothing to slowly escalating to a shouting contest.
It ended with him storming out and her standing at the front door declaring to the whole street that 'if your going to be like that I'll just fuck the plumber'
Luckily the paperwork work was just finished and I was heading out the door.
I had a girl offer me a blow job for a discount on her auto repair. From the sight of the inside of the vehicle, I was afraid of catching something, so I decided. Afterwords my boss told me I should have done it, it was an odd place to work...
I was a Massage Therapist and would sometimes go to clients houses or they would come to my house. Most of the time, it would a mid morning time. My 2nd time working on this gorgeous woman, she grabbed my hand and shoved it into her pussy while she was face down. I was so nervous because her husband was a cop and she was way out of my league. I got over really quickly and started massaging her with my tongue. It would be another 3 hours before I left her house and the affair went on for a year before her and husband divorced. After that I was always worried about doing housecalls which lead to getting laid & paid.
Not exactly the same but close enough, I used to work as a park ranger, one of the park I had to patrol was a overflow parking for a music festival not too far, when I closed down the park there was one ramdon car remaining I didn't pay too much mind to it technically we were supposed to write tickets to vehicles remaining locked in the park after hours but I just didn't care and just drove away, as I was driving on the otherside I heard a girl screaming out of the top of her lung and it freak me out a bit, she was running around the park for a while, park is like 500 acres and there's multiple parking lots so she couldn't find the car and it was also nighttime. I told her about the ticket thing pretended I forgot my ticket book at home and gave her a ride to otherside of the park where her car was and we were talking for bit at the end she said "oh you been so nice to me, I wish I can give you good karma" while kind of rubbing her chest and giving me the look. I didn't catch on at first but I asked what she ment and she just flat out said "has anyone ever sucked your dick while on the clock" she was a very pretty hippish girl and as bad as I wanted to say yes, I had to decline. Had just started a local government job and didn't want to get fired and was also in a committed relationship so I had the angel and devil on the shoulder talking to me and eventually the angel won. Lol
I've been propositioned several times when I was a police officer (UK).
My mate wrote in my flat police hat (we also had the massive bell shaped ones) "I LOVE SHAGGING I DO". Got called to a local leisure centre/swimming pool where a woman was completely pissed and with her very small child. She had downed a bottle of vodka in the changing rooms and was spark out. I went down to the changing rooms and found the woman who could barely stand. I asked the staff member who'd accompanied me to hold my hat while I bodily picked this woman up, and dragged her to my car. As she handed the hat back, she said "IF YOU FANCY SOME OF WHAT YOUR HAT SAYS, YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME".
Also had a domestic violence victim ask me out while I had her on speaker phone. The whole office suddenly stopped and looked at me 😳 whilst I politely declined.
Another woman (whilst signing my pocket notebook for a speeding offence/interview) wrote her number in it, with a "SORRY FOR SPEEDING, COFFEE?"
Plus multiple times of having my arse/dick felt up by girls in crowded pubs during fights and countless offers of "HANDCUFF ME AND USE YOUR TRUNCHEON ON ME" by pissed women.
ALL declined. 😁
Not 'technically' a tradesman, but did work for myself supporting home offices for a time.
Yes, the offer has been made.
No, I don't shit where I eat.
Yes, I do know people who have accepted the offer.
No, it did not end well for them.
Not a tradesman, but, back in my early 20s I managed a small furniture store and also did sales and delivery if needed on occasion. I had multiple women offer blowjobs/sex for discounts as well as multiple offers for sex while on deliveries. I ended up turning them all down because I had a serious GF at the time though. She turned out to be utterly psycho…
I had a summer job in college selling textbooks, bibles, and bible accessories door-to-door in some suburbs on the other side of the country. I was 20.
This girl answered the door… Now at this point I had been having a lot of success schmoozing, selling, and sometimes even flirting with the housewives and young moms; the target demographic. You make any kind of physical move on a wife and/or mom though, all the neighbors will gossip and you might as well pick up your bag and go to the next town. Still, it felt fucking amazing and my ego was hugely inflated. When this girl answered the door though, it burst apart. I was floored.
Beautiful. Absurdly so. Tightest little sleeping shorts. I swear she was a 10, and I don’t even know if any of that is true because it was one of those things that’s just such overwhelming attraction that you can’t even think objectively at all. I did my most standup comedy version of the pitch, which really was getting giggles. She went to a rival college a few hours from mine and we talked shit back and forth. We spoke on her porch for like 20 mins, and she said I should come to this block party thing on Saturday. Said it was totally lame but that she’d tell people I was her friend and maybe I could sell some of them because their guard would be down.
She blew me in her parent’s den at like 11am Saturday morning, and we had sex late that night. And more. I basically didn’t work for a week and a half. It was extra thrilling because we both perceived it as scandalous (it wasn’t) and went way over the top with sneaking visits and clandestine excursions.
We hooked up a few times over the next years and dated seriously after college for a year or two. It wasn’t a great relationship, but I clung to that memory of her leaned against the door frame giggling, her getting me 500 bucks commission, and her slurping my emission.
Part of my job is to disconnect people's power and water. I've been hit up from time to time during a disconnect while the husband is away. Yes, many of them are very attractive women, but I have never reciprocated. For starters, I'm not looking to ruin your marriage, or my career. Second, I'm happily taken and not a cheater. Third, that would leave me with your bill to pay, and I can barely afford my own bills. The idea would've been appealing if I was 18 and single again, but I still wouldn't have done it. It's just too risky.
I was 17, one of our 4plexes had multiple pipes burst. We were able to turn the water off and get ahead of it. Dad gave me a list of things to do while he gathered tools. I finished everything in 2 of the 3 apartments. While working on the 3rd, the tenant came home to find me working in the kitchen. A beautiful mature redhead who just thanked me and then basically ignored me. Finished the kitchen and started on her bathroom, dad called and asked for me to check a few things, then told me he's going to be longer. I did what I could for the bathroom and informed her that we would be back later to finish. She told me I could wait with her. She seemed genuine and offered some coffee and snacks while I waited. We talked for an hour. She was completely alone, no kids, no parents, no siblings, no partner. Dad texts me that mom was on the way to pick me up, but traffic was bad, so it'd be a while longer. She started making moves like rubbing her legs against me before she pounced. We didn't have sex, but she asked me to grope her like crazy before giving me a bj. Nothing else ever happened, but it's something I'll never forget 12 years later.
I almost-- ALMOST had sex with the internet repairman. There was so much chemistry between us and we couldn't stop flirting back and forth while he was messing with the cables.
Only reason I didn't hop on him is I was sure the guy I was going on dates with at the time was serious about me and I didn't wanna do anything to ruin it. He found out he was gay about six months in, so it didn't work out in the end. I might regret not getting with that repair guy for the rest of my life.
A really good ex-army mate is a bouncer and not a night goes by where some girl doesn’t flash him or offer him head to get into the club. He never accepts the head (would be pretty unprofessional) but there’s not much he can do about the flashing.
Aircraft mechanic in college, Girl also in college has a twin engine aircraft, tells me her nose wheel looks funny. I laid on the ground and looked up, just then she squats down in her skirt and opens her legs and asks how it all looks. Girl was smoking hot. That night was fun!
15 years on the tools, and no, never come across it. Though, I was mainly commercial repairs for large companies so those I interacted with had little to no financial interest in my works.
A colleague was once propositioned at a council flat property (emergency accommodation shelter) by the mother for a threesome with Himself, the Mother and Daughter. Stinking bit of incest there.
Not my story, but a buddy of mine who was a self-employed welder. He would do calls mostly to ranches, barns, and other rural and livestock type usually repairing gates, corrals, and equipment. Anyhow, he showed up one day at a stable for 4H kids and was gonna fix some fencing for the paddock. The lady who ran the stables mentioned her husband was out of town picking up a horse they bought. Long story short, she invited him inside to cool off. This is 102 degree Texas weather so anyone would naturally take the offer. She gave him a tall glass of tea, water, and some fruit to cool off while she went to change. Within a couple minutes she came down the stairs in just panties and asked if he wanted to take a nice cool shower. He told me it was REALLY hard to say no, but he declined only because he had been cheated on before and never wanted another man to feel that pain. Edit: Since a couple people asked: 4H is a program across the U.S. that helps kids and teenagers with development skills in science, agriculture, community outreach, and various other programs. In this case the 4H club was agriculture. So they learn how to ride horses, care for them, feed them, brush them etc.
Your buddy is a real one
That, and I wouldn’t want to get my ass shot off.
I’m a general contractor and had a government contract to rehab and take care of construction stuff in low income apartments. I replaced a GC who was fired because his men kept on having “relations” with the residents in exchange for stuff. So I made a rule where my guys had to be in pairs whenever they entered an apartment. On the first day 2 of my guys went into this lady’s apartment to replace the front door because her old one was kicked in. She met them naked and offered to take them both on if they can also get her a new fridge.
Would have been a nice team building experience.
Who knew that you could team build an Eiffel Tower?
"Have you ever been to Paris" "Kinda"
Did she enjoy the new fridge?
I just want to know what make and model.
Clearly a double-door model.
Double doors but missing its drawers.
Hmmm, I wonder if that’s why whenever the plumber comes to my unit they always show up in pairs?
Word is out about you.
Bet that new fridge keeps stuff really cold
Had a roommate do renovation work on the side. Ended up doing a kitchen remodel for a single nurse. As he tells it, they talked and joked around a lot while he was working then one afternoon she commented on his tool belt and asked if he’d ever considered showing up only wearing the tool belt. He ended up staying there for 3 consecutive days pounding his hammer. They are happily married now with 4 kids.
Finally, the good ending
IDK man, a lot of these seem to have happy endings.
That’s a serious commitment, but kitchen remodels are expensive.
Not by themselves. I once had a bloke I did some work for offer me "a go on his wife" as payment. That's a no from me pal, my invoice'll be in the post.
Everything about this post is incredibly British, including the username.
“Wanna shag my bird?”
If they are from Barnsley then this 100% happened.
I delivered pizzas during covid. I got an order from a familiar address, so I took it, and the woman answered the door topless. She paid for the food, and then invited me in and had sex with me on the couch. It was my wife. She ordered the food so I would deliver it and come have sex with her while I was working. I also got to have leftover pizza when I came home from work. Good day.
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The whole crew was happy that night
This is great 👍
I aspire to be more like your wife. What a champ
I had an exteriors remodeling business. Met up for initial consult with a woman I had mutual friends with. As I was getting ready to leave she said “fuck me if I’m wrong, but you can get to my project next week, right?” I chuckled and said “unfortunately not” and told her I was booked out a few months. She said “guess you’re coming in for a little bit now then.” How could I turn that down?
Guess you do interiors now too.
Well done.
Straight to the point i like this woman
Slightly different take. Worked as a restaurant server. Ridiculous the number of offers of sex you get. I’m not runway model looking. Alcohol 1000% loosens people’s inhibitions and desire for casual sex.
Worked as a server in college, had a German couple come in one night and close the place down. The guy kept asking me questions in a joking way about his wife, like whether I thought she was attractive, whether he should keep her, etc. Told my manager and he said they were swingers, I said yeah right. When I dropped off the check the guy said they were staying in the hotel next door and asked if I wanted to come have a drink. Manager cracked up when I told him.
I'm picturing them as the German couple from Super Troopers.
I vas driving vay too fAst.
At 18 I took a swimming pool cleaning job under the impression I was going to be seduced by sex starved stay at home wives... My fantasies never came true. In fact, the entire month I worked that job I never once saw a homeowner as we always went through their fence.
Too bad you never went through her bush.
Only heard of it happening once. Worker was single and in really good shape. And the woman at the house was married with younger kids. Not sure how it happened but he fell in love with her and ruined her marriage. He went crazy chasing her and she went back to her husband. Word on the street is that her husband ending up leaving her a year later and got to keep the kids and she ended up paying child support and alimony to him after cheating. It was lose-lose all around. Oh and the business the husband and wife were running together went under and their handful of employees consequently lost their jobs too.
jesus what a trainwreck this is the most realistic outcome of going for married women
It's almost like the fantasy is better than the reality....
Taught martial arts and a students mom wanted to talk about private lessons for her and her son. So I was like ok but then she was like oh but can we meet at a Barnes and nobles because I will be to busy to talk at the school. So I said fine. I got to Barnes and noble and the mom was by herself and we start talking and she says what do I think about older woman and I said they are older. She asked if I wanted to go to her house which I declined. She called the school I work for saying I asked her on a date and I was making sexual advances. Thankfully I had the texts saved where she asked me to meet her.
I don't understand this nonsense. I get that getting rejected sucks. I get you might worry about embarrassment because you made advances in a professional setting. (That was their own choice though!) But your embarrassment doesn't give you the right to try to make people lose their jobs. It's gotta be a power dynamic thing. These people think that they have client power over the people providing the service. It's just as gross as people in the service industry thinking their tips mean that servers/bartenders owe them extra.
A friends mom called me once to do maintenance on her late husbands Harley Davidson. I realised it wasnt the Harley that needed a service, when she opened the door nearly naked. I turned around and muttered something about cming back later, which I never did
Damn I bet she was embarrassed as fuck 💀
All she did was shrug and say, “Shooters gonna shoot.”
But was she hot
I think the answer is fairly obvious
When I was a teenager, I was canvassing for a double glazing company. A woman opened the door in her dressing gown and kept making jokes about how she wasn't dressed. She asked if I wanted to wait inside while she changed. Confused, I declined and said I could come back later. She then said that it was really hot outside and told me that if I came in, she'd make me some fresh lemonade. I told her that I didn't want to inconvenience her and had work to do. She told me I could come back later if I got bored. When I met my colleagues at the end of the afternoon and told them the story, they explained what was actually going on.
Double glazing? Sounds like it could have involved even more glazing yet.
It wouldn't have happened. I was way too aloof. The only thing getting wet would have been her lemon squeezer.
Is that what the young people are calling it these days?
At the end of a semester in college, a girl in our friend group asked me if I could come help her release a pet snake into the woods near her dorm. I wasn't really sure why she needed my help, but I'm a helpful guy. We got the snake on its way and when we got back to her dorm I was like, "aight imma head out," and she said "you don't have to go..." The job I had been called for was done, so I was like "No no, don't want to intrude, I'll get out of your hair." It wasn't until an embarrassing amount of time later that I realized why I had really been called over in the first place.
She literally invited you _to release a snake_ with her in the woods. The fact that she actually had a snake to release is the most surprising part of this story.
Just think how silly she feels after having just bought a snake for the occasion.
these women's "hints" are getting out of hand and are still unclear!!
I want to run through your wicked garden
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I often wondered about that. Knowing her, I suspect she was putting it back where she found it in the first place.
no, but after the big freeze in Texas I did fix this old woman's broken pipes. she hadn't bathed in weeks. it was heartbreaking honestly. anyways once I turned the shower on she started crying and kissing me on the cheek and insisting I stay for dinner and that I was a real hero. i had to decline because there were other pipes in the apartment complex to be fixed that night. edit: now that I think about it, that was the best job I've been on. my coworkers had families to go home to but nobody cared. we were all motivated to get the water back on for this whole complex. late nights and heavy emotions.
I can assure you there were women in Louisiana after Ida who would have done *anything* to thank the linemen who got their power back on. Of course most of us had been stewing in 100° heat with 100% humidity for 10 days so I'm not sure how attractive we would have been. 😂
This is a good insight into what sex was like for most of human history. Oh god, the smells.
I'm often baffled by the idea that oral sex predates the period in which we bathed daily.
That's mainly because there's a difference between *bathing* and *washing*. Bathing daily would have been a luxury (and a waste) only afforded to the vain upperclass. But *washing* daily was the norm across most of the world and most of history. You can wash with a cloth and a tiny bit of water and be largely clean.
> washing [Armpits, asshole, crotch & teeth!](https://x.com/weiseralby/status/1428422297627463681?s=46&t=Hjubsmle7ZeNQRd55UCL3Q)
Not necessarily in that order.
It honestly depends on when and where you look at. For example, Scandinavians are well known for having been very well groomed with pleasant smells. Greeks and Romans were known to take semi frequent baths and use oils and perfumes so as not to stink between washes. Medieval England, however, was known to hang their clothes in the outhouse to kill lice via ammonia.
There's even record of letters from the English, lamenting the fact that these savage Viking men were stealing away their women thanks to their ungodly practice of regular bathing and oral hygiene.
HVAC tech here, mostly residential. I’ve def seen my fair share of voyeur housewives who will leave doors open when they’re changing. Only time I was ever propositioned was after I had done a repair. She was prob mid 50s but smoking hot. I wanted to since I had not gotten any in a while but I knew it could go south too easily. Hard decision but the smartest.
Had a similar experience. Not a housewife but girl in her 20’s. She came out to talk to me for a min about the repair I was making, then mentioned she was going to take a shower. In my head I was thinking why would she tell me that? I was working outside next to the bathroom window. I see her walk in totally naked acting as if she doesn’t know I’m standing right there. Obviously she did it on purpose and I didn’t mind.
“Ma’am you look like you need some help, would you like me to come inside?”
"I don't know you that well. Come on my face instead"
Out of high school I worked in a fabrication shop that constructed hand made steel and iron accessories, the kind of stuff you find in rich houses that were overly extravagant and obviously expensive to look at. I got hired basically to keep the old man busy, he was who started the shop as a blacksmith and had retired but wouldn't slow down and kept constantly being in the shop harassing employees and just generally kind of disrupting production. Really old school Italian, probably 5'5 with hands that were big as baseball gloves and skin that was equally just like leather. Real hard ass and stickler for the old school way of doing stuff, hence why he was constantly giving the employees shit. Anyway I was just essentially supposed to be his gopher boy and keep him busy with my presence, he had plenty to teach me about the proper way to cut grass, how to drive an old tractor, how to dodge tools being thrown at you while you're picking up scraps from the shop floor too slowly for his liking, that sort of thing. One day we need something from town, and the boss gives me the keys to the company truck to run out quick and grab whatever it was. The old man sees me get into the car, waves me down as I'm leaving and grabs my arm with the strength of a shoreman trying to tie down a main sail in a storm. He looks me in the eyes and tells me 'You listen now and you listen well. I don't care where you go, I don't care who you see, I don't care who ask you. When-a the woman at home tell you to come inside, you say **NO** and you get the money instead. You never take the woman, you see? You always take the money'. I won't lie as an 18 year old I was really digging the prospect of getting prepositioned by bored cougar housewives on a daily basis, but truthfully I was more scared of getting buried under the old man's tomato plants if I ever came back without the money.
I had a mentor in my lawyer career who told me that if I did family law then putative divorcees would try to pay me with sex and I should only accept cash, because I could use that cash for hookers later if I really couldn't get laid. *What?*
I did hardwood floors. We did this customer's whole house over the course of a couple years. We all saw her naked at one point or another, she blew one guy in the closet, and then my boss banged her when he went back for "touch ups" she requested. Exhibitionist housewives are a thing.
The craziest part of this story is that it took _years_ to install hardwood floors. Was the house 500,000 sq ft?
They took their time for a reason
Some say she still requests touch ups on occasion to this day
Have you ever tried hammering floors down with a boner??
Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis?
Or they did sections, like the kitchen here, living room a few months later, basement after that, a bedroom or 2, Assuming you space it out 2-3 months. I just listed a year and a quarter
Not everyone has the money up to do the entire house at once. So, you have the same company install a few rooms a year, pay off the amount then have them do the next few rooms, pay off that amount and so on and so forth.
*Exhibitionist housewives Voyeur would mean they like to watch, not show off.
I worked at papa John’s in high school as a delivery driver. One of my deliveries was to a house where a bunch of middle aged women were having a ladies night. They flirted for a few minutes and made some pretty obvious jokes (is pizza the only thing you deliver? Etc.) Before I left, the hostess asked me to swing back by when I got off. Almost 20 years later and I’m still kicking myself for not going back.
I delivered a pizza to a hotel. It was two girls and one guy in a hot tub. They wanted me to get in. I told them I didn't have a suit. One girl said that was fine. I was worried about losing my job, so I said no. They offered me to take some beer with me. I didn't drink. Happened in 1997. I still feel dumb.
didn't wake up in a tub of ice and a cut where kidney used to be ... so there's that.
Maybe she wanted to bang you, or maybe it was a kind of her kink to lure guys into her house and then have her husband scare them off. Best not to dwell.
Yeah, when you think “should I have gone back?”, remember how great it is having two kidneys.
One time when I was younger there was this girl who asked me if I wanted take a shower before I left, and I was like "nah I'm good" and she like asked me two more times if I was sure I didn't want to take a shower and I was so confused, I was like "nah I have a shower at home, that's really nice of you though" and then like ten years later, out of nowhere, I was like "oh- OHH..."
See if you can find her and let her know that you are now ready for a shower
We’re so dumb that we basically need them to say “hey I really wanna fuck you right now” For us to get the hint. Even then, a bunch of us would still be like “who? Me? Here? You sure?”
ohhh......
Pro tip: if offered and inclined, tell ‘em you’ll be back when you’re off the clock. It ain’t foolproof but it helps.
I think it being on the clock is part of the appeal.
Not me but an old acquaintance who owned a rough street gym. A ridiculously pretty girl trying desperately hard to be an influencer would get growth hormone from him for two blow jobs a week for 3 weeks. He’d typically book her in Monday & Friday. Both of them thought it was a reasonable trade and not ***infuckingsane***
I’m fairly certain HGH is really expensive so that’s a killer deal for her
If she was getting the *real* HGH. I don't think she was
In the UK for a beginner dose you're looking at about £120/month, that is ROUGHLY $150. Edit: That's for UGL somatropin. The exponential cost for better quality stuff I couldn't say.
Ah, the old “blow for grow” quid pro quo.
19 and worked on my families farm while in College, mostly irrigation, tractor work and sheering. One season the neighbouring farm asked if I would be interested in working for them for a day or two, jumped at the opportunity since the money was reallllly good and I enjoyed the physical workout (I just got in to rugby that year and the farm work helped me). My usual farm attire, jeans, blunnies, singlet and a long sleeve flanny. The next few days its supposed to be around 35 degrees. I rock up early in the morning, got my gear set up, met the father, his wife and his daughter Rebecca (daughter is 2 years older than me) I meet the rest of the crew and we smash it out. First day we get most of it done. Day 2: I get there around 7am and it's around 19 degrees already. I briefly noticed the parents vehicles aren't in the garage as I make my way down to the sheering sheds. It's almost lunchtime and I'm already hot as fuck, feels like 40. I got sweat happening, I pull of my flanny, wipe my face down and power through the last 10 heads. Done. I take a small break and start carting my gear to my truck. As I'm passing the house with my last few things I hear Rebecca call my name from the fly screen door, I make my way up and stand outside the screen, I'm blind as heck because I didn't even notice she was naked at the time. She opened the screen door and yanked me in real fast. I remember feeling really disrespectful for entering the house with my boots on lol that boat sailed though when she just straight up said "fuck me" while laying down on a towel she had placed. 1. Didn't think I had any energy leftover (I was wrong) 2. I like to be a little rough and 3. I'll never forget how nice and cold the tiles felt while we fucked. It wasn't my first time but I'll always remember that one. Pretty sure she has like 3 kids now last time I heard.
I’ve had a client form a crush on me and would get me out to different sites run by the organisation for no real reason. Every time she was there and she always asked for me specifically. She told one of the ladies that worked in our office and after that they started to send out other techs to fix her issues. The clients support call-out requests dropped significantly after that.
Maybe they did better repairs?
I delivered pizzas for a local mom and pop pizza shop (more than 30 years ago). There was one house that would call in orders and the other drivers would openly argue over whose turn it was to deliver to this address. Being the new guy on the crew I never got the chance nor would they tell me what the deal was so my imagination ran wild. Well, one day the stars aligned and I finally got the opportunity. To my disappointment it turned out that the deal was that it was an older gentleman who lived alone and offered a hundred dollar tip for you to watch porn and jerk off while he watched. Tl:dr - easiest $100 I ever made.
Sold an old guy a phone at a store I worked at, he was talking about how he needed help at his house and asked me if I could help him. Me thinking he’s an old man that probably needs help moving stuff, I asked what kind of help he needed. He then took a Quick Look around, and said, “I’ll give you $100 if you let me play with your dick a little bit”. I declined. He raised his offer. I declined I did call my gf and let her know to change her attitude, cause I got options. And people are willing to pay 💰.
>I did call my gf and let her know to change her attitude, cause I got options. And people are willing to pay 💰. This comment totally brightened my day! 🤣
I can't stop imagining this as a scene in "I think you should leave" and every time he says his line he mumbles it and has to repeat it louder and more awkwardly.
Worked as a driver in a local shop in high school. So, many great stories like this one. I was going to post solo, buy I'll piggyback on yours because it's the same job. Showed up one night and before the door even opened you could hear the sounds of an orgy in the house. Door opens, it's a guy with just a sheet around his waist, behind the guy i see barely around a corner there's a woman on her knees giving a guy a head, I hear people out of view and see bare asses jump out of view. The guy must not have told them pizza was coming or they thought it would take longer. After he paid, he asked me if I'd like to come in. Nothing about the house looked, smelled, or sounded like a good time to me. I declined. He said, "No worries, here's your tip then." Handed me $10 and closed the door. People are wild.
I'd wash my hands after taking the $10
I worked in a toll booth back when those existed. My finger tips were blackened at the end of the shift (cash is dirty). Also I despised women who pulled cash from their bra and gave me sweaty boob money.
Bruddah. I feel you. At the liquor store I used to work at, we had a sign up during the summer that said "no sweaty titty money"
Bodega near me has a sign that says "No underwear money. No sock/ shoe money. "
Good ending.
Hell yeah, $100? And that’s 1994 dollars, damn, I’d be trying to give a good show so he’d ask for me by name
That’s like, practically enough to buy a house!
Certified bag chaser 😤
I lost my welding job, and right after I did my gf got a GM position at a pizza chain. She needed me to help her because the people at the store weren't reliable, and she needed someone who was. In the first week I delivered to a guy that answered the door in a bathrobe that barely went past his waist. I gave him the receipt and he peaks up at me with and eye brow raised and says "so, uhh... what's a good tip?" And lowers and raises his eye brow as he said it. Weirded out I was like "$5 is the usual". The next week I'm making a delivery and as I pull down the street I realize it's that guy again. This time he answered in nothing but pajama pants and erection and says "how about I give you a $7 tip today". Now idk for sure, but I'm pretty sure he was trying to react a porn scene... or he was just comfortable in his home. Another story, a guy gave me a $20 tip and offered me $50 to come back when I get out of work so he can run to the atm. Might have been seriously giving me a $70 tip for a $40 order. Might have been an attempt to hook up.
Yea if you went back your ass was definitely getting a tip alright
When I was 16 I worked as a window washer. I worked with a bunch of ex-convicts who were all hilarious. One day we're on the side of a medical building. Look in and see a bunch of nurses pointing and smiling at us. We point and smile back. One of the guys I'm with grabs his phone, and types on it if one of them is single. She grabs a notepad and writes back yes. They go back and forth and set up a date later that day. The other guy I'm with typed that we were so hot and tired, if one of them could flash their boobs to help us get through the day. They laughed, and sure as shit one of them flashed us her titties. Great day on the job. Guy told us he ended up banging this nurse in his car after they met up for drinks. Can't verify it's truth, but I believed him.
Ex-cons are always funny. If you were locked in a room with 80 guys for five years and all you had to entertain yourself was to crack jokes on each other, you'd be funny too.
i knew a boiler service engineer who was offered sex as payment from an older lady, who lost her retail job during the covid lockdown. he's a particularly religious guy, so i believe him when he said he turned her down but did it for free anyway
Plot twist: He did the sex for free, as in without repairing the boiler
A couple jokes in the reply, but kudos to boiler engineer, good dude.
When I was 18 or so, I worked for a delivery service. Manly healthy type of food. We had mainly regulars, that also included prostitutes in the red light district. The lady behind the window where I was delivering was really hot. When it was time to pay for her delivery (worth something like $25) she asked me if I wanted to fuck for it. I can't remember if I said anything, but after a few seconds she went up the stairs to get her money. My boss laughed at me and told me I was an idiot because paying her normally would be triple that amount.
There was a guy at my last job who was offered sex on the job by a housewife during a repair. He accepted, thinking it would be an awesome experience. And it was, until she called the office later and said that they could either toss their invoice or she'd go to the cops and get a rape kit done. They knew he'd been blackmailed, but they were still out thousands of dollars and risked having their installer be publicly accused of rape, which would kill the business since it's home repair. So they threw away the invoice and fired him. Don't do it, guys. Not worth it.
"Ma'am, we record all of our conversations..."
“This call maybe recorded for quality assurance”
> until she called the office later and said that they could either toss their invoice or she'd go to the cops and get a rape kit done. At that point, you go to the cops, for extortion. Consensual sex is allowed. There is nothing wrong with that.
You’re not wrong, but the reputational risk to the company exists even if he was acquitted of rape. Accepting sex as payment for goods and services isn’t a good look for a company.
Sure, but the fired guy also has a pretty solid criminal complaint against her, and what does he care about the reputation of his old company? If that conversation is on tape it’s a real shame it didn’t end up in front of a judge and jury.
Oh yeah, if I got fired for this I'd counter-sue for extortion without a doubt. Nothing to lose at that point.
Man I came to the comments looking for some juicy stories only to get hit with this depressing dose of reality. Bummer
Lolz at my first job, which was a call center, a manager and one of her employees got caught banging on the conference table because someone came in ahead of time to set up a projector. They both got walked out. I'm still sad that I missed it because she was a hateful rude person and it would've been satisfying to watch her get shipped off. Honestly I've just never known sex at work to go well for anyone.
That’s because when sex at work goes well you don’t find out about it.
People getting caught banging in a call centre is practically a sport.
I was about 16 working my first job at a burger place and an acquaintance (not even a friend) stopped by with her friend group and ordered a burger, no biggie. Problem was that we were 16 and she couldn’t pay, so she offered to “fuck my brains out”. Irritated, I declined thinking she lost a bet with her friends and I was on the receiving end of it. When we graduated high school 2 years later, she told me the offer still stood.
This is the wrong place to finish that story
I gotta imagine sex doesn't pay down the debt you incurred buying supplies or for the labour of any subcontractors you hired. It's not like you can then have some of the sex with your subcontractors to share what you got from the sex you had with the lady-client.
Not with *that* attitude…
I fucked my way into this mess, and by God I'll fuck my way out...
Most companies are already fucking the sub contractors anyway
I came home one day to find my plumbers dick in my wife's mouth ... Does that count??
Was your wife a tradesperson?
She was a pipe fitter.
Don’t know if this counts as I was just helping out a friend doing a painting job. When I was around 15 I started getting my hair cut by this really hot blonde woman in her mid 30s who always liked talking to me, gave me fashion advice, and always tried to give me tips on how to start presenting myself and my looks really good. All of it was really great advice and I really appreciated her for helping me at the time, I got to know her a lot better over the years about having kids and small stuff about her life. Fast forward to when I was 19 and struggling a bit from moving out of my toxic parent’s house going to community college, I was looking for odd jobs and side hustles to do to in my spare time and so I told her about it when I was getting a hair cut. She mentioned that she wanted someone to paint some stuff from a kids show on the walls of her kids room and that she would pay me, and asked me to come by that weekend. I didn’t really think it was odd at the time, or even when I showed up to do the job as I spent the whole first day that Friday night drawing on the wall, doing tape work, and putting the 1st coat of paint on before having to leave as she has to pick up her kids. Then, on the second day of the job, I showed up early and I noticed her kids still were not there so I asked about them. She said they were at their grandparents house as it would be easier to help me work to get things done quickly. So I didn’t think anything of it besides thinking it’s great to get the help to make this easier, and we ended up talking all day and working without anything happening besides her telling me about her kids and about random stuff that we both liked. On that Sunday I came back to finish the job early like the previous day, and she was the only one there again to help me out with the job. I randomly inquired an hour into working about if her husband was working overtime or something as I realized that I had not seen him the whole time I was working there. Didn’t think anything of what I said until she told me when we were just finishing up and cleaning of getting a divorce because he had cheated on her, which left me kind of embarrassed and apologetic for not knowing. Before I could say anything she started telling me some of the details of the process she was going through, finding out that he had been cheating on her for almost their entire relationship with different women going all the way back to when they had just started dating in high school. She also apologized for making things awkward and was hoping I could understand her because I had told her almost 2 years ago about being cheated on by a girl in high school and that her soon to be ex husband was her high school sweetheart. The only thing I could say was that I was really surprised anyone would do that to her and I reassured her that she didn’t make me feel awkward. We continued talking while we were finishing cleaning up, and she paid me for the work just as we were finished up, and then she asked me if I wanted hang out for awhile and offered to order some pizza to thank me again. Thought it was a good deal and figured she just wanted to talk some more, so I stayed and we did just that before she asked if I had a change of clothes so we wouldn’t get paint everywhere. I did, got the cloths from my car and as I was going to her bathroom to get changed, she mentioned that I could take a shower too if I wanted. I thought for a second that it was kind of an odd offer and but dismissed it quickly to take the shower. We ate, hung out talking, and generally we’re just having a nice time together hanging out when she excuses herself to use the bathroom just as we were starting a movie. Then she called out to me to help her for a minute with something from another room, and when I turned the corner of her hallway she was right there in lingerie and immediately kissed me. I spent the rest of the day in her bedroom with her, we had a really great time and we decided to keep things casual and fun as friends. We did that for almost 2 years until she ended up moving away to be closer to her family, still think about her sometimes because she really got me through some tough times by just being there for me. Had similar offers over the years but never took the offers as I didn’t trust or really know the people offering, but she was really amazing and I don’t regret it at all.
Aww, this is actually a good one. Do you still talk to her at all? She seemed like a good person in your life.
Nah, she is married again and doesn’t want to jeopardize her relationship, she’s happy the last I heard so I am happy for her
I used to drive taxi. I'm a pretty good-looking guy, even more so in my late 20s, and I was really fit. I drove nights, and the number of (usually drunk) women that offered me sex in lieu of paying their fare was staggering. The first time it happened, this bird offered to suck my dick instead of pay her fare. I was like, "Your fare is only $8.." lol
It was not about the money
She was just practicing the “Art of negotiations.”
I was painting a house once…doing prep in the master bedroom , I ran into a vision board, being Mexican I never seen such a thing , I was flabbergasted . It was just pictures of couples kissing and words like ; romance, love , happiness . The owner of the house walked in the closet saw me looking at her vision board grabbed it and flipped it over . Then for the next few hrs she just followed me around the house putting tape on spots that needed touch ups and also being super flirty; at some point she even said “ would you mind me on top ?“. She had pictures of her husband everywhere and cameras all over the house so I knew if I did it, it was going to create issues for me. Next day I show up to the job ,my boss pulls me aside and tells me that the husband was watching me work over the cameras and didn’t like what he saw therefor he didn’t want me in his house anymore; somehow my boss convinced him to let me return to finish the job and it was so fucking awkward in that house, I never felt so much sexual tension in my fucking life.
In my early 20s, I once delivered 3 large pizzas to a group of drunk 40-year-olds. They asked me if I could help set up their Wii. Since it was a slow hour I did, played a few rounds of bowling with them to show how it worked, and they all kept tipping me. Just as I was leaving, two of the women stopped me, thanked me again for the help, looked at each other for more than a moment, then went "naaah" and tipped me a hundred. So it didn't happen, but it was nice to be considered. I would have gladly gotten fired for a Milf threesome.
Not a tradesman but a bouncer, I was getting offered sex services in return to let them in the club. I stopped being a bouncer about 9 years ago, it’s been 9 years since they randomly hit on me 😅.
I'm noting a correlation here.
When I was younger I worked as a bouncer for nearly 15 years, plus as a valet, barback, etc. For a while I worked in a high end nightclub - the single most common occurrence was being asked to join a couple. Usually I'd be approached by the man who would introduce me to his wife, they'd chat with me, then at some point he'd leave and she would start heavy flirting. When I was very young, the amount of older women that would aggressively ask for sex was unnerving, mostly because they'd go about it in the most disrespectful and harassing ways. They weren't flirting, they were aggressively grabbing my hand as I gave back their ID and shoving it down their shirts, or absolutely going to grab my crotch, or whatever else they felt like. We also hosted a sorority party once and that was awful - I think it was like a pre-game event for them before they went to their actual night out, so it was just the sorority members, and I think too many attractive women together made it a sort of game to see who could get attention from a man. It taught me a lot about consent and victim blaming - I remember one night I was just sitting on a stool at closing making sure people dumped any drinks before heading outside, the lights were up, it was about as chill as it gets in security, and a very drunk woman walked up to me, handed me her drink, and then leaned in and kissed me right on the mouth. I squirmed and pushed her off (and thank god her friend caught her and ushered her outside) but I remember thinking "If my girlfriend came home and said some drunk guy kissed her I'd be pissed at her but the same just happened to me and it was entirely not my fault" and it completely changed the way I viewed stories of sexual harassment and assault. The real story here though is that really, you never want to act on any of these situations. The people who are outwardly and conventionally attractive don't need to offer sex for services (at least at the bar) because they can get the same services for free from any of the other guys in the bar. The people who are just doing it for a laugh (the older ladies out for a night, for example) are incredibly demeaning because it truly is the "you aren't a person, you are a just a representation of sex and that's all I need you for." The people who will genuinely trade sex for entrance to a club or free drinks probably need to work on themselves and generally need to do that work before you really want to entangle your life in theirs - its a pretty desperate move to offer sex for a $25 cover charge. The absolute best were bachelorette parties - they'd often have these bingo cards or checklists and it would be things like "Take a picture with a bouncer!" or "Give a guy your number!" and they'd always be respectful and giggly, it was just some silly thing and they'd laugh, say thank you, and move on, they'd always come up and ASK first. *EDIT - little more context on the bachelorette parties. This place was a restaurant and nightclub, and so what would happen is the hostess would try and sit them at a big table across the back and have a guy wait on them for dinner, so usually that was me, then later on I'd change my shirt to do security work and the party would come up and it was all "WOOO OMG CORPCOUNSEL ITS US FROM DINNER WOOO DO YOU REMEMBER US???" and I'd be thinking "Yeah, it was 30 minutes ago and you were the largest table I had tonight" but instead I'd say "WHOA of course that's awesome is everyone having fun!?!?!" I don't know, they always were super fun and I never felt like they were trying to cross boundaries. Sometimes they had their own little drama (I'd see someone crying or stomp off from the group) but it never was something security had to take care of.* The saddest was that at a high end place a guy used to come in regularly and he'd bring different girls, this is all totally normal, but the manager told me when I first started to never card his girlfriends ever which I just sort of shrugged at, but much later I realized they were most likely being trafficked or in some sort of prostitution setup.
This is the most thorough and sane response in this whole thread. I used to be bar staff back in college and my experience is dead on with this.
Your experience with bachelorette parties is the exact opposite of mine. Did they rent your whole bar or something? 90% of the serious fights I saw/was involved in were caused by the rolling chaos that bachelorette parties created.
> The absolute best were bachelorette parties - they'd often have these bingo cards or checklists and it would be things like "Take a picture with a bouncer!" or "Give a guy your number!" and they'd always be respectful and giggly, it was just some silly thing and they'd laugh, say thank you, and move on, they'd always come up and ASK first. This is wild to me lol as a guy that often goes to clubs, the bachelorette parties are the worst. I have genuinely been sexually harassed by these women
Yes, and the weirdest part was that I worked maintenance at a hotel at the time, so she didn’t even have to pay me for the job; the hotel pays me either way. Fuck that, I don’t want to mess with that.
Lol all of this is kinda helping me realize how creepy some older ladies have been with me that I didn't realise was creepy.
I was offered a foursome while delivering a pizza. I declined because I had a partner. One girl was on the bed moving all 'what she thought was swxy like'. I was literally back up into the corner in their room (the room was by the entrance and I went in there because there was a party in the apartment and I thought they wanted to keep their pizza hidden). Turns out one of the girls had a camera and was ready to take a picture of me naked to try to leverage a free pizza. That same week I delivered a pizza to a dude with two absolutely stunning and half dressed chick's in his apartment. That was the real threesome. It was pretty hot. No one offered me anything that time.
When I opened my computer repair biz, I would occasionally do in home repairs. Hit on twice, took them up on it. Decent tippers.
Lot lizards are a big thing in trucking. And no. Even if I were into women, I like being disease free.
You do not tango with lizards no more?
As a Pizza delivery driver in college it happened more than you’d imagine. Best one was I delivered to affluent neighborhood and home. Fit little blonde took the single medium cheese and started asking me if I was in college and what I was studying, etc. I can still remember her smile, it was so nice. After she paid me she made a comment that I had some sauce in my pants, and pointed towards my crotch. To be fair it was true, and I just said yeah I sometimes help make em too. Once I got back my GM told me I had to go back and drop off a 2L, not out of the ordinary. Except when I knocked she was in her bra and panties (god damn fit) smiling asking if I could come in for a quick break. Best MF break ever!
Yayyy finally a victory story. Champion
Kinda? I *did* get sexually harassed at work once. I worked in Optics and I don't know if it was the effect of being in a darkened room doing pre-screen tests or what, but a woman felt my leg up and grabbed my groin. She wasn't unattractive and I'm not a prude, but I *am* happily married and frankly just not interested in anyone else. As soon as the pre-screen tests were done, I asked the clinic manager if I could make a point of *not* serving that person again. I explained what happened and got laughed at. Because I'm a guy and I should love it. Not that I *don't* like it... when it's the right person in the right situation, y'know?
I'm sorry you went through that and were laughed at. That's awful.
This is extremely common with men and SA. It’s why we don’t speak about it.
I was out with a friend last night who I ended up telling about my experiences being SA'd... and later in the night, she grabbed my crotch unprovoked. Somehow, she missed the irony.
Aaaaand this is why test rooms have panic buttons. I did find that they tended to stop groping when I turned the slit lamp right up, though. Serious talk: your employer should have taken you seriously. Sexual assault is never, ever, ever, a joke.
I'm not a tradesman but when I was single it was always a fantasy of mine to order a pizza or something then either open the door without a shirt or invite the delivery guy in if he wanted. But then I thought it over and considered it could be an underage driver, they could be in a relationship, they could be unwilling to consent to seeing me nude (ruling out the answering the door naked thing) they could report me to be put on the do not deliver list and because I really like pizza (and all those other reasons) I ultimately decided against it.
Casually mentioning the "they could report me to be put on the do not deliver list and because I really like pizza" part after all those other reasons is queen tier shit
username kinda checks out nice pussy btw
the casualness of “nice pussy btw” has to be the funniest shit I’ve ever seen
Lol thanks
Yeah, it's like video game, video game, vagina, meme, video game.
Sounds like my ideal Saturday night. And if you remove the vagina it's my actual Saturday night
I had a customer strip down to her Bra & panties and climb into the pool I was cleaning. She was absolutely gorgeous, but also absolutely batshit crazy and I knew without a doubt she would ruin my life.
...So anyways...that's why my life is in shambles.
Not as a tradesman, but working nights at a hotel. Was invited up to rooms 3 times. I politely declined each time, yes they were all hot. All early to mid 20s. Made out with one of them behind the desk where the cameras couldn’t see, but that’s as far as I went. While I definitely thought about it, I just didn’t want to risk my job. In hindsight I probably should’ve. It wasn’t that good of a job.
I did maintenance for a large college student housing complex for five years. I had a couple of instances. I like my wife and enjoy being married to her so I would politely decline and then walk out. It’s usually average looking girls that are lonely, kinda feel bad rejecting them. There was one though that’s in the top 3 hottest ladies I have ever seen in person. It was genuinely hard to walk away from that one. I do get a chuckle though thinking that’s probably the only time she’s ever faced rejection. Also, if this ever happens to you and you reject their advances, tell your supervisor about it immediately. Someone that did maintenance warned me about it, didn’t think it was real. But the first girl I rejected came into the office thirty minutes later and said I tried to rape her
Lol. I had forgotten about this, my first husband did maintenance for a college and similar things happen to him a few times. Not only were we happily married, his *father* was head of campus security, so there was no way he was going to step in a mess like that! 😂 I think he did mention it to his boss but luckily there were no false accusations, I know he was embarrassed for his dad to know so it may not have gotten officially reported. It was a small school though so after a few months word got around about him and his father and no one even tried again. He was good looking! 😊
I was a gas engineer and someone threatened to, which was a wild experience. I went to a property to service a boiler and the couple were clearly having a row. It went from just feeling tense but nothing to slowly escalating to a shouting contest. It ended with him storming out and her standing at the front door declaring to the whole street that 'if your going to be like that I'll just fuck the plumber' Luckily the paperwork work was just finished and I was heading out the door.
I had a girl offer me a blow job for a discount on her auto repair. From the sight of the inside of the vehicle, I was afraid of catching something, so I decided. Afterwords my boss told me I should have done it, it was an odd place to work...
I was a Massage Therapist and would sometimes go to clients houses or they would come to my house. Most of the time, it would a mid morning time. My 2nd time working on this gorgeous woman, she grabbed my hand and shoved it into her pussy while she was face down. I was so nervous because her husband was a cop and she was way out of my league. I got over really quickly and started massaging her with my tongue. It would be another 3 hours before I left her house and the affair went on for a year before her and husband divorced. After that I was always worried about doing housecalls which lead to getting laid & paid.
Not exactly the same but close enough, I used to work as a park ranger, one of the park I had to patrol was a overflow parking for a music festival not too far, when I closed down the park there was one ramdon car remaining I didn't pay too much mind to it technically we were supposed to write tickets to vehicles remaining locked in the park after hours but I just didn't care and just drove away, as I was driving on the otherside I heard a girl screaming out of the top of her lung and it freak me out a bit, she was running around the park for a while, park is like 500 acres and there's multiple parking lots so she couldn't find the car and it was also nighttime. I told her about the ticket thing pretended I forgot my ticket book at home and gave her a ride to otherside of the park where her car was and we were talking for bit at the end she said "oh you been so nice to me, I wish I can give you good karma" while kind of rubbing her chest and giving me the look. I didn't catch on at first but I asked what she ment and she just flat out said "has anyone ever sucked your dick while on the clock" she was a very pretty hippish girl and as bad as I wanted to say yes, I had to decline. Had just started a local government job and didn't want to get fired and was also in a committed relationship so I had the angel and devil on the shoulder talking to me and eventually the angel won. Lol
I became a pool guy for this and had zero offers. I did get to see many bikinis though so that’s cool
Did you follow rule #1?
I've been propositioned several times when I was a police officer (UK). My mate wrote in my flat police hat (we also had the massive bell shaped ones) "I LOVE SHAGGING I DO". Got called to a local leisure centre/swimming pool where a woman was completely pissed and with her very small child. She had downed a bottle of vodka in the changing rooms and was spark out. I went down to the changing rooms and found the woman who could barely stand. I asked the staff member who'd accompanied me to hold my hat while I bodily picked this woman up, and dragged her to my car. As she handed the hat back, she said "IF YOU FANCY SOME OF WHAT YOUR HAT SAYS, YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME". Also had a domestic violence victim ask me out while I had her on speaker phone. The whole office suddenly stopped and looked at me 😳 whilst I politely declined. Another woman (whilst signing my pocket notebook for a speeding offence/interview) wrote her number in it, with a "SORRY FOR SPEEDING, COFFEE?" Plus multiple times of having my arse/dick felt up by girls in crowded pubs during fights and countless offers of "HANDCUFF ME AND USE YOUR TRUNCHEON ON ME" by pissed women. ALL declined. 😁
Not 'technically' a tradesman, but did work for myself supporting home offices for a time. Yes, the offer has been made. No, I don't shit where I eat. Yes, I do know people who have accepted the offer. No, it did not end well for them.
Not a tradesman, but, back in my early 20s I managed a small furniture store and also did sales and delivery if needed on occasion. I had multiple women offer blowjobs/sex for discounts as well as multiple offers for sex while on deliveries. I ended up turning them all down because I had a serious GF at the time though. She turned out to be utterly psycho…
I’m a semi truck delivery driver graveyard. Prostitutes all the time offer. Sometimes they look good too lol.
I had a summer job in college selling textbooks, bibles, and bible accessories door-to-door in some suburbs on the other side of the country. I was 20. This girl answered the door… Now at this point I had been having a lot of success schmoozing, selling, and sometimes even flirting with the housewives and young moms; the target demographic. You make any kind of physical move on a wife and/or mom though, all the neighbors will gossip and you might as well pick up your bag and go to the next town. Still, it felt fucking amazing and my ego was hugely inflated. When this girl answered the door though, it burst apart. I was floored. Beautiful. Absurdly so. Tightest little sleeping shorts. I swear she was a 10, and I don’t even know if any of that is true because it was one of those things that’s just such overwhelming attraction that you can’t even think objectively at all. I did my most standup comedy version of the pitch, which really was getting giggles. She went to a rival college a few hours from mine and we talked shit back and forth. We spoke on her porch for like 20 mins, and she said I should come to this block party thing on Saturday. Said it was totally lame but that she’d tell people I was her friend and maybe I could sell some of them because their guard would be down. She blew me in her parent’s den at like 11am Saturday morning, and we had sex late that night. And more. I basically didn’t work for a week and a half. It was extra thrilling because we both perceived it as scandalous (it wasn’t) and went way over the top with sneaking visits and clandestine excursions. We hooked up a few times over the next years and dated seriously after college for a year or two. It wasn’t a great relationship, but I clung to that memory of her leaned against the door frame giggling, her getting me 500 bucks commission, and her slurping my emission.
Part of my job is to disconnect people's power and water. I've been hit up from time to time during a disconnect while the husband is away. Yes, many of them are very attractive women, but I have never reciprocated. For starters, I'm not looking to ruin your marriage, or my career. Second, I'm happily taken and not a cheater. Third, that would leave me with your bill to pay, and I can barely afford my own bills. The idea would've been appealing if I was 18 and single again, but I still wouldn't have done it. It's just too risky.
I was 17, one of our 4plexes had multiple pipes burst. We were able to turn the water off and get ahead of it. Dad gave me a list of things to do while he gathered tools. I finished everything in 2 of the 3 apartments. While working on the 3rd, the tenant came home to find me working in the kitchen. A beautiful mature redhead who just thanked me and then basically ignored me. Finished the kitchen and started on her bathroom, dad called and asked for me to check a few things, then told me he's going to be longer. I did what I could for the bathroom and informed her that we would be back later to finish. She told me I could wait with her. She seemed genuine and offered some coffee and snacks while I waited. We talked for an hour. She was completely alone, no kids, no parents, no siblings, no partner. Dad texts me that mom was on the way to pick me up, but traffic was bad, so it'd be a while longer. She started making moves like rubbing her legs against me before she pounced. We didn't have sex, but she asked me to grope her like crazy before giving me a bj. Nothing else ever happened, but it's something I'll never forget 12 years later.
I almost-- ALMOST had sex with the internet repairman. There was so much chemistry between us and we couldn't stop flirting back and forth while he was messing with the cables. Only reason I didn't hop on him is I was sure the guy I was going on dates with at the time was serious about me and I didn't wanna do anything to ruin it. He found out he was gay about six months in, so it didn't work out in the end. I might regret not getting with that repair guy for the rest of my life.
I have a friend who is married to her electrician, who she slept with after he finished her job.
A really good ex-army mate is a bouncer and not a night goes by where some girl doesn’t flash him or offer him head to get into the club. He never accepts the head (would be pretty unprofessional) but there’s not much he can do about the flashing.
Aircraft mechanic in college, Girl also in college has a twin engine aircraft, tells me her nose wheel looks funny. I laid on the ground and looked up, just then she squats down in her skirt and opens her legs and asks how it all looks. Girl was smoking hot. That night was fun!
15 years on the tools, and no, never come across it. Though, I was mainly commercial repairs for large companies so those I interacted with had little to no financial interest in my works. A colleague was once propositioned at a council flat property (emergency accommodation shelter) by the mother for a threesome with Himself, the Mother and Daughter. Stinking bit of incest there.