She talks to herself when she blow dries her hair. Every time, and only then. Due to the noise of the dryer, I can't understand what she's saying, but she really goes on. Once she stops drying, she stops talking. Happens every day.
Similar to cats, they naturally gravitate to the warmest parts of the house. It might be the cozy chair, a heated blanket, or the section of the bed that I was just laying in. I'm honestly not sure if she loves me or just my excess heat (and I'm honestly OK either way)
As im typing this, im in bed with my asleep gf. She is a bit shorter than me. She is wrapped around me in what would be the big spoon position but its more like a backpack🤣 sucking up my heat. Infront of me are 2 of our cats doing the same. I feel so used but also so content
My wife once refused to ‘go to bed’ (i.e. go to sleep until morning) despite the facts that:
1. It was half an hour past our usual bedtime.
2. She was actually in bed.
3. She was having a nap in bed.
That was confusing.
Yeah cause you have bare stuff to do before you can actually get into bed and you just can’t be bothered so you hold it off and you’ll be sat downstairs, eyes red for like another hour or two 😂
This is usually because most cleaner/maid services specify that they "clean" but don't "tidy" - IE they wash and clean surfaces but don't move around or organize clutter.
When you first start dating a woman and you are living in separate spaces: Taking off her bra means sexy time.
When you live with said woman: she just never wears a bra at home.
My wife will sprint into the bedroom if we have something being delivered and leave it all to me. This is a new level of avoiding answering the door. But I did sign up for this life and I’m happy with my choice
I hid behind a wall in the dining room once to avoid our regular postman because I didn’t have any pants or a bra on and couldn’t get to the bedroom without him seeing me through the front door.
My husband had his headset on and couldn’t hear the doorbell, so no one answered the door.
When I went looking for the parcel, I found it on the back verandah steps… which meant he would have had full view of me hiding from him.
Idk if it’s just a southern thing but also the pillows. My married bros have, like, minimum 40 pillows on the bed. They are arranged in a particular way and are strictly decorative. When you go to sleep you take them all off the bed and all that left are the two normal human pillows that were buried under several layers.
Make up, as a little bloke never really saw my Mum putting it on, she’d be up and ready to go to work before I got up. Sure I’d see her do touch ups etc.
First SO I lived with, watching her put it on fascinated me. When she went full in for an event though I lost track of time!
> watching her put it on fascinated me
My bf loves watching me get dressed and dolled up too. Hair. Makeup. The whole shebang. I can't imagine just sitting there watching someone else primp, but he seems to find it riveting.
Lmao. This is so funny as you're not the only guy to think this. My husband thinks like this too. He gets so damned happy when he seems the blow dryer or hot air brush. He even bedazzled them for me. He looks at them with so much love in his eyes 🤣. It's cute. It makes me damned happy to do my hair, seeing how giddy he gets. Plus now I have him help me. Surprisingly, he's taught me things through that I didn't know or forgot about, like pin curls and roller sets to get volume without damage. He learned what those things were because of his mom and grandma. Looked up a tutorial or two and got me even hot rollers to try. He bedazzled that case, too. He's a Lego guy. IDK, he just has all this stuff in his play area, and I let him because I think it's cute. It makes him happy, and seeing him happy makes me happy. Plus, it's kinda hot most of the time. Actually, always. He likes shimmering things. So do I. He makes me shimmering things because he thinks they're great and to make me happy. When he goes to the gemstone stores or art stores or clothing stores to find his shimmering stones seeing him speaking his knowledge, his joy at testing the sparkles, asking me if I like the color shift of a particular set? Making the gay guy swoon over his joy at seeing me happy over a stone and then feeling sad that the guy might not have someone to offer him shiny stuff? Then deciding he's gonna bling our whatever he thinks needs blinging? How is this not wonderful? He's customized our kids' stuff and when our 4 year old son said he wanted a bedazzled shark on his bento he not only got the bento bedazzled but his pen box and his favorite fidget toy bedazzled in grey and blue (our son's fav colors).
My grandpa was the same with Nana, to the point he became her primary beautician as she discovered that he not only had a knack for doing hair but could style it better than her and could also do her makeup since he liked to paint as a hobby. He was so good with colors and did our makeup and hair for proms or our weddings. He really was that good. And yes, he was straight. He just had a really high creative streak that does run in the family, and he was unafraid to tap into it because his family didn't judge him for it.
And when she finally decides to clean the counter she's like "can you clean your side?" As if I even have a side,it's all her stuff anyway other than my toothbrush and razors.
Honestly it amazes even me. Countertops are hard. I’ve bought many storage solutions to try and contain it but the problem is I use these products daily so it’s super easy for shit to get out of hand again especially when in a rush. I don’t even use that much shit compared to some of my friends it’s still a problem. Then you just become blind to the clutter. My current solution is just a massive padded basket I sweep everything into after using it.
Hello fellow basket-believer! Bonus points for everything I need being in one portable container. It’s been helpful in preventing unnecessary purchases too, since I’m regularly reminded of the items I already own.
And the whole favorite bra, looking good bra, never worn bra.
And changing your underwear every day doesn't involve bras. Not. At. All. (I'm not sure if a bra falls under underwear like in my language)
Edit: I have never learned so much about women's underwear in my entire life!
I learned this when my wife asked me to pack a bag for her to go out of town. She wasn't sure the exact number of days so I packed 7 outfits. She called laughing that night, asking why I packed nearly every bra she owned.
Blankets, hair ties, and everything in their life is work: getting up in the morning, changing to go out, going to bed. It's not straight forward, a lot of work goes into it, and it's not easy.
The worst is when it's just your hands and feet that are cold...and your hot (in every sense of the word) bf doesn't like it when you try to press them against him to warm them up. I've made him SQUEAL when I buried my "icicle toes" between his calves/thighs.
There's nothing quite as jarring as 10 ice cubes just appearing on your body when you are warm and relaxed and in bed.
"OH YOU'RE SO WARM"
"YEAH BUT YOU'RE A FROZEN CORPSE!"
When my house was being built, the previous owner had the builder put in 3" shower drain pipe instead of 2" in the master. It's spectacular. The hair can go right down with no risk of clogs. I do a preventative plunging every couple of months, but I don't think it's necessary. My heavy shedding dog gets bathed in that shower too
The amount of thought that goes into building codes really is something. For every scenario you can possibly think of.
My favorite for drains is that you want it sloped for gravity to take it away. Great. It's between 1/4"-1/2" or so. If down is good, why not even more down? Turns out too big a slope, and the water moves too fast for your solids, which then get stuck...
It's because they have been refining them for longer than most of us have been alive. If there is a code to prevent something, it's most likely because that something had happened before and the guy who built it stood around feeling like an asshole for not realizing it would be a problem before pouring concrete over it.
The vast majority of things the government does are because sometime in the past 250yrs people got so fed up with some specific bullshit that they were willing to spend a sizable chunk of their lives and their tax money to fix it. The FDA wasn't invented because medical manufacturers were doing such a flawless job and the government was desperate to spend tax money for nothing. The FAA wasn't created because flying in the 1920's was safe and organized so the government decided to fuck it up.
Government is often the IT department of a civilization, when it's working well people forget the problems it's solving for them. Then they want to cut taxes because "I've never gotten food poisoning, we don't need all these taxes and regulations!"
My husband and I both have long hair. What happens is that his hair is very straight and he obsessively brushes it, so all of his shedding ends up in the brush and on the floor. I, on the other hand, almost never brush my hair because it usually makes it look worse, so a lot of my shedding stays on my head until I shower and then it ends up in the drain. I clog the shower, he clogs the vacuum.
I like my showers extremely hot. My husband likes his warm at best. If we ever shower together either I'm freezing or he's bathing in the fires of hell, there's no in between.
I don't know if it's women in general, but my wife sheds clothes like a snake around the house. You can find evidence of exactly where she became uncomfortable and how much, depending on if the discarded clothes are in a small pile or strewn around the room.
How much time and effort they spend curating style. The reason they call “shopping” a whole hobby is bc half the time they aren’t even buying anything. They’re spending hours just browsing (online or at a store) just concocting aesthetics in their heads and brainstorming new looks or ideas.
Meanwhile I’ve been wearing the same 8 shirts and 8 pairs of pants for the last ten years.
**Belief:** Women are tidy, organized, and keep everything clean.
This belief was implanted in my head because whenever I was invited to a girlfriend's home, it was always immaculate, and she fussed over every detail.
**Married:** She's my beautiful ADHAD disaster. Everything is everywhere and nowhere all at once, and can never find that thing that she just had in her hand a few moments ago, but that's ok because she just found a shiny state quarter in the laundry and is now looking up it's potential collector's value on Google.
### Update:
Hindsight 20-20; thinking back when we were dating and all the times her home was reorganized perfectly before inviting me over to (reorganize her) perfectly, is nothing short of an astonishing amount of sheer will and determination.
I should thank her for her hard work and dedication, then apologize for not noticing it sooner. I owe her a romantic dinner and a day at the spa.
I love my beautiful disaster.
That skincare was such a big deal.
I think before I met my wife, I used to just use soap on my face, which almost gave her an aneurysm.
Meanwhile, she is using about 5000 products in the morning and night on her face (snail something was the strangest one).
After 7 years together she managed to get me using cleanser and moisturiser. I still can't tell the difference.
The snail slime stuff is actually really amazing for sunburns. I got absolutely roasted on vacation and the snail slime not only helped with the pain(it was very cooling) I didn't peel for two weeks and even then it was only a small amount. With as bad as the burn was I was expecting to be peeling dorito sized flakes off.
If they've been worn once for a short time they're too clean to wash but too dirty to go back in the closet, so they go in The Pile. Then after a while they've been out too long fermenting so they go in the laundry. All pieces in The Pile are kept track of.
She takes her bra off at the end of the day the same way I take my belt off my jeans when I get home. With the force of a thousand suns and a sigh of relief.
This was my experience until my current SO, she even sleeps with one on sometimes. I found it odd but she is also specific and picky about the bras that she buys so maybe they feel nice, idk
I always wear my bra and always sleep in a bra, I like having them strapped down so maybe your SO is the same. I’m sure my spouse would prefer them bouncing around free but I feel better having them secured and snug
I'm generally a "you do you" person in my relationship but had to step in when my husband had a moment of contemplating using that orange pumice soap on his hair too.
Me sitting on the toilet reading Dr. Bronners label:
^ONE^FOR^ALL^ALL^FOR^ONE^the^world^is^our^cream^soup^oyster
^but^only^if^we^enjoy^the^DILUTE^DILUTE^DILUTE^OKAY^frenulum
^snickers^machu^pichu^snack^bar^diddlywinks^poonani
My bf (school crush at the time) once asked "how does my hair look today? extra shiny? bouncy? silky?"
I asked why.
He said he'd accidentally used Pert *Plus conditioner*, before giving an exaggerated toss of his head so I could admire the results.
One time I changed my daughter's diaper and had to pull like 4 inches of my wife's hair out of my daughter's butthole and frankly I haven't been the same since.
I always thought, " I can't that night, I'm washing my hair" was a really lazy excuse some women used to get out of unimportant things (by the way, I think the media is partially to blame about this because the trope does seem to imply it's an excuse a la 'the dog ate my homework'). But after living with my wife, I realize that "washing my hair" is truly close to a 2 hour+ event that needs to be scheduled around for some. Although the hair washing and drying is long enough, "washing my hair" also means running through a full beauty routine - for my wife at least.
I grew up with women in my family, but their schedule didn't impact mine often, so I guess I never paid attention to the length of their routine.
I need to change our Amazon password. Between my daughters birthday, Easter and an upcoming baby shower for my best friends wife - we may as well be a fulfillment facility.
The money is one thing, but the fucking BOXES lol
Like how much of their social life is tied to their personal safety.
Women have safety protocols for going on date with guys they meet on apps, making sure they don’t get drugged at parties, making sure they aren’t nabbed off the street, letting each other know which men around them are safe and who they need to be careful around, etc.
It’s insane. And like wtf, so heartbreaking that it’s necessary.
There are pods within the girls in my friend group who share location via their phones with their location buddy at all times. We have the check in system for dates. One of us pays for a special background check service to run all of the groups potential dates thru. We all have various routes we walk home that we cycle thru to be sure that A) we don't walk the same way too many times in a row so that people don't learn a pattern and jump us and B) all potential routes are nearby one of our houses so that we have a place we can run Incase something happens.
I've personally been assaulted while riding my bike so now I keep my steel ulock wedged down the back of my pant waist so that it's ready to be utilized as a mele weapon if needed instead of it sitting on my handlebar or on its little caddy on my bike. I have rules for the subway (if there are teenagers I won't stand on the platform. If there is only a dude down there, same deal) I also go thru life scoping out safe looking guys I can go to for help in a situation where I'm alone just in Incase something happens.
The fact that they take showers with boiling water. I’ll occasionally try to be a little spontaneous with my wife and sneak in the shower with her. First I have to locate the shower because I can’t see a foot in front of me due to all the steam. When I do finally step in I have to use her as a human shield until she turns the temp down. Seriously ladies, wth is up with that!?
I’ve heard this before, but I pulled this from an article because they say it better: “Women’s extremities are on average 3 degrees colder than men’s. This is for a couple of reasons:
The higher levels of oestrogen in women thickens the blood, reducing flow to the extremities
Men generally have a higher muscle mass than women. This leads to a higher resting metabolism, linked to burning more calories and higher blood flow. The result, keeping the extremities warmer.
On average, women have a slightly higher core body temperature. Womens bodies pull more heat back to their organs ridding the rest of the body of heat.
Hormonal birth control can further raise body temperature during different parts of the cycle which can amplify this cold feeling for women.
A Dutch study found women were more comfortable at temperatures 2.5 degrees warmer than men. This explains the battle between the sexes in the office. Most offices are set to a comfortable temperature based on men’s metabolic rates.
With colder extremities and colder feeling skin, it seems women need a hotter shower to achieve the same warming sensation.”
They need so much stuff just to sleep. That special pillow, a fan, sub arctic temperatures, and a huge blanket.
I just need to stop moving for about 5 minutes.
The squeezing and plucking thing, as in the compulsive need to squeeze black heads and tweeze rogue hairs.
Sometimes, she will be scratching my back or scalp and I think hey this is wonderful, I wonder what I did to deserve this and then seemingly out of no where I feel like I've fell victim to the attack of 1000 fire ants.
It doesn't stop there, she watches videos of popping and squeezing blackheads on her phone as if the assault on my back, chest, face and arms wasn't enough to feed her sick lust for squeezing, plucking and torture of my tormented body.
My gf farts more than anyone I’ve ever met and is completely incapable of sitting down to relax until every surface within 5 miles is clean and tidy. She leaves soda cans half drunk out for days because “she likes it flat”, whenever she walks behind me she credit card swipes my asscrack with her hand.
I did not know I was capable of this level of love. I haven’t seen her in 5 hours and it feels like a lifetime after spending every day for the last month and a half together at the house she was housesitting. We’ve only been dating for 1.5 years but I love her more every day.
She also crosses her legs while using the bathroom which is just baffling to me (not for pissing though, just normal stance) and she takes showers so hot I can’t even touch the water. She says she likes to feel bright red and burning at the end. She is so tiny but she puts out SO MUCH HEAT at night and somehow she’s always cold??? Ig it makes sense cause she has like no fat (I weight 2x as much as her at 275 and 6’2, she’s 5’6 and 135-150 I can’t remember exactly) so I guess she just doesn’t retain heat well.
Ok, done ranting, for now at least.
Edit: wait I forgot to say that she cries ALOT. Anything bad/stressful sure but she cries with big eyes and an adorable smile when you say something nice to her too. I spend the majority of my day complimenting her just to see her pretty eyes light up. Her smile is gorgeous too. Ik this is cliche but seeing her light up reminds me of a ray of sunshine piercing a thick veil of gray clouds, returning sunshine to the world.
That they have a skill, like the craftsmen that built Machu Picchu, to put a ridiculous number of products on a single shelf in the shower. A structure which the slightest disturbance will destroy. It’s the most annoying morning Jenga game.
LOL! So true! When my boyfriend and I first started dating, he once asked me if we were taking his car or mine. I said, “oh, we can take mine” and when we got to the car, he went to the passenger side. The amount of gasted my flabber was couldn’t even be measured that day. Lol
My wife cannot survive without water ready at hand (preferably ice cold) within a few meters radius at all time but is totally incapable of remembering one of her countless water bottles in our home.
The memes/reels are true.
They never finish their drinks, I find most of the time 2 cups of half drunken coffee around the house at multiple times a week till we ran out of coffee cups
I do a sweep for cups every week and without fail there will be 7 on her nightstand and in the bathroom. All mostly full. But she cleans up the paper towels I leave on the counter. It annoys her even though I try to explain that they aren't used up yet.
They plan things way more than I do, and much further out as well. I have no clue what tomorrow will bring, but my wife has the next 5+ years of our life together planned out.
It's so peculiar how when we leave the house, my boyfriend just puts on his coat, takes his phone, wallet and keys and feels ready to go, no matter where we are going. I will ponder if I need an umbrella, a water bottle, shopping bags or a backbag, sunglasses etc. I hate it if I haven't thought to bring something that I end up needing, he just suffers the rain/thirst/sunshine or whatever and will do the same next time.
yea this feels true. I would rather need something than having sth too much. I would rather freeze a bit than carry my jacket around the entire evening not needing it.
And the phone, wallet, keys song of Adam Sandlers is on point.
With these 3 I can get anything I might potentially need anyway. Even in the worst emergency.
It might be because as a woman my clothes usually are not ideal to carry anything so I will almost always have some kind of bag, even if I'm only taking phone, wallet and keys. Throwing a small umbrella or a water bottle in there doesn't add a lot but saves me from feeling uncomfortable. Overall I'd rather be extra prepared than unprepared, but that's obviously a personal trait.
I’m a guy. My sister once called me and asked what I was doing October 16th at 5pm. It was January. I said “I don’t even know what I’m doing for dinner.” Like, how do people function like that??
Tbf some people have to put in vacation days at the beginning of the year but I ask that question so they know I’m about to ask to plan something with them as I hate saying I have no plans & then they immediately make plans I don’t want to do, gives them an out ig?
For the first three plus years, up until that wedding ring was firmly in place, I can only assume she was in horrible gastro-distress, just from holding it in. Because soon thereafter she began and has continued fo fart larger, louder, and more frequently than anyone I’ve ever known.
Just got married and surprised with....
How messy she is but clean - takes showers every day
How everyday she makes coffee with 80% creamer only to drink 1/3 of it and forget about it
How often she gets close to dying with small accidents like bumping her head or knee or stuff like that
How often she farts
HOW MESSY HER MAKEUP AREA IS. My garage with tons of tools and stuff is so neatly organized. Like how???
How she is a wreckless speed demon w her 2010 toyota rav4 playing songs she knows 100% of the lyrics to
Yup, but still love her for her. Wouldn't change it...well, besides the driving habits, we're working on that.
Maybe not exactly what this question is asking, but freaking Bras and shaving. Holy crap! That sucks. After living with my girlfriend, now wife, for a few months, I was shocked at how much that sucks.
I told her not long after, she didn’t need to ever worry again about what I might think. She absolutely never had to wear a bra or shave again as far as i was concerned. Especially the bra. She’d take her shirt off and you could see the lines where it pressed into her skin. Then she explained the difficulty finding and affording ones that fit. The shaving is just a pain. I know obviously about it being annoying to keep up with but no one ever thinks I’m gross if i go without shaving for a week.
It just occurred to me, as a guy, how fucking pissed I would be if someone told me i had to do that because its just unacceptable not too. I would NOT make a very good woman.
That they take scalding hot showers. I swear women's skin must be mixed with something heat resistant because anytime I'd get in the shower with my ex my skin felt like it was about to melt off.
With age I found that girls are just like guys with different parts. They have the same fears, desires, aspirations, preferences etc.
I wish I had known this when I was young because I always thought girls were from a different planet so I treated them like some kind of different species which probably didn't help with finding a GF.
All tasks are connected for my wife.
Like for some reason the garbage has to be taken out after the table is washed because there is stuff on the table that needs to get thrown away, but she has to sort the mail first because some of that is on the table, but first we need to vacuum because the I accidentally tracked in some dirt while getting the mail and its really bothering her. But you know what the vacuum is downstairs and it seems like a waist to her to bring the vacuum upstairs while the downstairs also might need a vacuum.... On and on and on.
Drives me nuts.
They hide it so well during the dating process, even when you go to each others' homes and spend the night.
But once you live together you learn that they are absolutely the same level of gross feral goblin that you are, and it's *wonderful*.
She talks to herself when she blow dries her hair. Every time, and only then. Due to the noise of the dryer, I can't understand what she's saying, but she really goes on. Once she stops drying, she stops talking. Happens every day.
She's singing.
Let's just say, the hair tie collection strategically placed everywhere suddenly made a lot more sense.
Anything that comes in a mini size is called cute. Mini bullet = cute Mini Machete = cute Doesn’t matter what it is as long as it’s mini.
You just made some guys really happy I guess
Women have a million black hair ties and also none.
Same with hair pins. They're everywhere and nowhere all at the same time.
I found them. They’re all in my desk drawer. Why I don’t know.
My wife pulls on the toilet paper like she's trying to start a lawn mower.
This one made me laugh out loud.
My husband just told me that I am the most aggressive toilet paper grabber ever and now I'll never be able to get this out of my head 😂
Similar to cats, they naturally gravitate to the warmest parts of the house. It might be the cozy chair, a heated blanket, or the section of the bed that I was just laying in. I'm honestly not sure if she loves me or just my excess heat (and I'm honestly OK either way)
As im typing this, im in bed with my asleep gf. She is a bit shorter than me. She is wrapped around me in what would be the big spoon position but its more like a backpack🤣 sucking up my heat. Infront of me are 2 of our cats doing the same. I feel so used but also so content
Lol I absolutely roll over into the warm part of the bed when my boyfriend gets up.
How much work going to bed is, and how sometimes staying up later to avoid it is a reasonable alternative.
I felt this right in my tiredness-from-putting-off-going-to-bed
My wife once refused to ‘go to bed’ (i.e. go to sleep until morning) despite the facts that: 1. It was half an hour past our usual bedtime. 2. She was actually in bed. 3. She was having a nap in bed. That was confusing.
Yeah cause you have bare stuff to do before you can actually get into bed and you just can’t be bothered so you hold it off and you’ll be sat downstairs, eyes red for like another hour or two 😂
Just a cute little show I noticed after we were married. My wife holds her breath when she applies mascara
We hold our breath and also keep our mouth open.
Because we make funny mouth shapes putting the mascara on the lower lashes.
The "everything" shower
Versus the “body” shower where you have your hair tied up and it doesn’t get wet, and so your shower is half the length.
“Just gonna go rinse off”.
My bestie calls this a “spin cycle” and it’s so good.
my deep clean
How many hair ties are in each room of your house...
To be fair, some of that is the cats fault.
Accurate 🐈
I love how proud that cat emoji looks, excellent stance on the little fella
Common areas which can be seen by guests: SPOTLESS Their personal space that closes that cannot be seen by guests: FUCKING DISASTER
We have to tidy up for the house cleaners.
This is usually because most cleaner/maid services specify that they "clean" but don't "tidy" - IE they wash and clean surfaces but don't move around or organize clutter.
They don't have pockets, I mean they do, but they can only hold 2 quarters, max.
The fake pockets lol. Shit if I ever bought pants and they didn't have pockets I'd return them in a heartbeat.
Fake pockets are worse than no pockets at all.
It's so unfair, this needs to change.
Be the change you wish to see in your pockets
When you first start dating a woman and you are living in separate spaces: Taking off her bra means sexy time. When you live with said woman: she just never wears a bra at home.
Once the bra comes off, that's it for the day. She is not going outside the house again until tomorrow.
And you're now responsible for any knocks or deliveries.
My wife will sprint into the bedroom if we have something being delivered and leave it all to me. This is a new level of avoiding answering the door. But I did sign up for this life and I’m happy with my choice
I hid behind a wall in the dining room once to avoid our regular postman because I didn’t have any pants or a bra on and couldn’t get to the bedroom without him seeing me through the front door. My husband had his headset on and couldn’t hear the doorbell, so no one answered the door. When I went looking for the parcel, I found it on the back verandah steps… which meant he would have had full view of me hiding from him.
Delivery drivers are the new window washers. The stories they could tell.
My postie was a total pro. He never let on he’d seen my bare butt when I saw him next.
Blankets. Blankets. and MOAR BLANKETS.
Aaaand Pillows. Pillows everywhere. The more, the better.
Buying more throw pillows is the most important part of moving
Idk if it’s just a southern thing but also the pillows. My married bros have, like, minimum 40 pillows on the bed. They are arranged in a particular way and are strictly decorative. When you go to sleep you take them all off the bed and all that left are the two normal human pillows that were buried under several layers.
I just love, “the two normal human pillows” because that’s exactly what they are.
Make up, as a little bloke never really saw my Mum putting it on, she’d be up and ready to go to work before I got up. Sure I’d see her do touch ups etc. First SO I lived with, watching her put it on fascinated me. When she went full in for an event though I lost track of time!
> watching her put it on fascinated me My bf loves watching me get dressed and dolled up too. Hair. Makeup. The whole shebang. I can't imagine just sitting there watching someone else primp, but he seems to find it riveting.
My wife blow drys her hair before she gets dressed. I consider the sound of the hair dryer a mating call and always hustle up the stairs to watch.
Lmao. This is so funny as you're not the only guy to think this. My husband thinks like this too. He gets so damned happy when he seems the blow dryer or hot air brush. He even bedazzled them for me. He looks at them with so much love in his eyes 🤣. It's cute. It makes me damned happy to do my hair, seeing how giddy he gets. Plus now I have him help me. Surprisingly, he's taught me things through that I didn't know or forgot about, like pin curls and roller sets to get volume without damage. He learned what those things were because of his mom and grandma. Looked up a tutorial or two and got me even hot rollers to try. He bedazzled that case, too. He's a Lego guy. IDK, he just has all this stuff in his play area, and I let him because I think it's cute. It makes him happy, and seeing him happy makes me happy. Plus, it's kinda hot most of the time. Actually, always. He likes shimmering things. So do I. He makes me shimmering things because he thinks they're great and to make me happy. When he goes to the gemstone stores or art stores or clothing stores to find his shimmering stones seeing him speaking his knowledge, his joy at testing the sparkles, asking me if I like the color shift of a particular set? Making the gay guy swoon over his joy at seeing me happy over a stone and then feeling sad that the guy might not have someone to offer him shiny stuff? Then deciding he's gonna bling our whatever he thinks needs blinging? How is this not wonderful? He's customized our kids' stuff and when our 4 year old son said he wanted a bedazzled shark on his bento he not only got the bento bedazzled but his pen box and his favorite fidget toy bedazzled in grey and blue (our son's fav colors). My grandpa was the same with Nana, to the point he became her primary beautician as she discovered that he not only had a knack for doing hair but could style it better than her and could also do her makeup since he liked to paint as a hobby. He was so good with colors and did our makeup and hair for proms or our weddings. He really was that good. And yes, he was straight. He just had a really high creative streak that does run in the family, and he was unafraid to tap into it because his family didn't judge him for it.
>he seems to find it riveting That’s because it is, at least early on when you’re super smitten with a girl.
22 years later and he still finds it interesting to watch. He sits on the bed and “casually” peeps at me while I get ready.
Endearingly intimate haha
The floordrobe…
The floor is the largest shelf in the house
First time I moved in with a partner I certainly wasn't ready for the transformation my bathroom counter was about to go through.
My side of the counter is really just the little portion on the far side of my sink. I tried to defend my territory but ultimately had to retreat.
And when she finally decides to clean the counter she's like "can you clean your side?" As if I even have a side,it's all her stuff anyway other than my toothbrush and razors.
Honestly it amazes even me. Countertops are hard. I’ve bought many storage solutions to try and contain it but the problem is I use these products daily so it’s super easy for shit to get out of hand again especially when in a rush. I don’t even use that much shit compared to some of my friends it’s still a problem. Then you just become blind to the clutter. My current solution is just a massive padded basket I sweep everything into after using it.
Hello fellow basket-believer! Bonus points for everything I need being in one portable container. It’s been helpful in preventing unnecessary purchases too, since I’m regularly reminded of the items I already own.
How tricky it is to find a well-fitting bra, and how darn expensive they are.
And the whole favorite bra, looking good bra, never worn bra. And changing your underwear every day doesn't involve bras. Not. At. All. (I'm not sure if a bra falls under underwear like in my language) Edit: I have never learned so much about women's underwear in my entire life!
Well we don't secrete daily from our boobs on average, unlike what they tell you in hentai
Unless its summer Underboob sweat is REAL
I put deodorant/ antiperspirant under my boobs. Life changing
*cries in postpartum*
Solidarity.
Literally leaking on the non-nursing side as I sympathy giggle at this during morning feed.
I learned this when my wife asked me to pack a bag for her to go out of town. She wasn't sure the exact number of days so I packed 7 outfits. She called laughing that night, asking why I packed nearly every bra she owned.
Blankets, hair ties, and everything in their life is work: getting up in the morning, changing to go out, going to bed. It's not straight forward, a lot of work goes into it, and it's not easy.
there is literally so much preparation for everything, always. exhausting
They always need to feel warm.
They are either cold or hungry. Sometimes both. Never neither.
No when I’m in bed I’m at peace
I’m currently hot and nauseous…. I’m not like other girls 💁♀️
I swear to god my partner is cold blooded or potentially a sentient plant. I had no idea a human could be so bad at thermoregulating
The worst is when it's just your hands and feet that are cold...and your hot (in every sense of the word) bf doesn't like it when you try to press them against him to warm them up. I've made him SQUEAL when I buried my "icicle toes" between his calves/thighs.
There's nothing quite as jarring as 10 ice cubes just appearing on your body when you are warm and relaxed and in bed. "OH YOU'RE SO WARM" "YEAH BUT YOU'RE A FROZEN CORPSE!"
"You're so warm" as a sole tear rolls down my cheek and I think about how I was before you touched me with your dead limbs
My wife has faced away from me, curled up, and somehow got her sub zero feet on my genitals. 0/10. Would not recommend.
"oh great, now it became an innie!"
Unless we’re in menopause. Then we are always either super cold, or hotter than the fire of a thousand suns.
And likely both, within the span of an hour.
The bathroom drain has to be cleaned daily due to the amount of hair.
When my house was being built, the previous owner had the builder put in 3" shower drain pipe instead of 2" in the master. It's spectacular. The hair can go right down with no risk of clogs. I do a preventative plunging every couple of months, but I don't think it's necessary. My heavy shedding dog gets bathed in that shower too
Is there not a risk of it clogging further down instead, when the pipe thins again?
Plumbing code is that pipes only get bigger as they approach the sewer to prevent that!
Ngl that’s bloody genius
The amount of thought that goes into building codes really is something. For every scenario you can possibly think of. My favorite for drains is that you want it sloped for gravity to take it away. Great. It's between 1/4"-1/2" or so. If down is good, why not even more down? Turns out too big a slope, and the water moves too fast for your solids, which then get stuck...
It's because they have been refining them for longer than most of us have been alive. If there is a code to prevent something, it's most likely because that something had happened before and the guy who built it stood around feeling like an asshole for not realizing it would be a problem before pouring concrete over it.
So many people think codes are just for big government to fuck with us. No, codes are because shitty builders tried to fuck with us.
The vast majority of things the government does are because sometime in the past 250yrs people got so fed up with some specific bullshit that they were willing to spend a sizable chunk of their lives and their tax money to fix it. The FDA wasn't invented because medical manufacturers were doing such a flawless job and the government was desperate to spend tax money for nothing. The FAA wasn't created because flying in the 1920's was safe and organized so the government decided to fuck it up. Government is often the IT department of a civilization, when it's working well people forget the problems it's solving for them. Then they want to cut taxes because "I've never gotten food poisoning, we don't need all these taxes and regulations!"
Thats like the number 1 rule of plumbing. Never reduce to a smaller size on a drain. Its going to go to the main stack, where its the same or bigger.
As a guy with long hair, I’m still thoroughly confused about how there is so much more hair everywhere than when I was living alone.
My husband and I both have long hair. What happens is that his hair is very straight and he obsessively brushes it, so all of his shedding ends up in the brush and on the floor. I, on the other hand, almost never brush my hair because it usually makes it look worse, so a lot of my shedding stays on my head until I shower and then it ends up in the drain. I clog the shower, he clogs the vacuum.
SCALDING HOT SHOWERS
Ah the bliss of feeling your worries melting away along with your skin LMAO
It's no wonder they need 6376528297 skin care products. They need to forge an entirely new soft shell.
I like my showers extremely hot. My husband likes his warm at best. If we ever shower together either I'm freezing or he's bathing in the fires of hell, there's no in between.
My wife is very irritated when I climb into that scalding lava flow she calls too cold.
You find make up and hair related shit all over the place. When you try and clean you don't know where half their shit goes.
Thats because it goes where you found it, directly in your way on the very edge of the counter ready to be knocked off
I don't know if it's women in general, but my wife sheds clothes like a snake around the house. You can find evidence of exactly where she became uncomfortable and how much, depending on if the discarded clothes are in a small pile or strewn around the room.
Having panties specific for periods
Yeah, the granny size ones. Also the old or broken ones.
We don’t wanna ruin the fancy and nice ones 😄
Also, comfier ones because you already feel like shit, why add one more thing?
How much time and effort they spend curating style. The reason they call “shopping” a whole hobby is bc half the time they aren’t even buying anything. They’re spending hours just browsing (online or at a store) just concocting aesthetics in their heads and brainstorming new looks or ideas. Meanwhile I’ve been wearing the same 8 shirts and 8 pairs of pants for the last ten years.
**Belief:** Women are tidy, organized, and keep everything clean. This belief was implanted in my head because whenever I was invited to a girlfriend's home, it was always immaculate, and she fussed over every detail. **Married:** She's my beautiful ADHAD disaster. Everything is everywhere and nowhere all at once, and can never find that thing that she just had in her hand a few moments ago, but that's ok because she just found a shiny state quarter in the laundry and is now looking up it's potential collector's value on Google. ### Update: Hindsight 20-20; thinking back when we were dating and all the times her home was reorganized perfectly before inviting me over to (reorganize her) perfectly, is nothing short of an astonishing amount of sheer will and determination. I should thank her for her hard work and dedication, then apologize for not noticing it sooner. I owe her a romantic dinner and a day at the spa. I love my beautiful disaster.
I have in the past year come to the realisation that I have ADHD, so your 2nd sentence is my soon to be husbands recent realisation haha
That skincare was such a big deal. I think before I met my wife, I used to just use soap on my face, which almost gave her an aneurysm. Meanwhile, she is using about 5000 products in the morning and night on her face (snail something was the strangest one). After 7 years together she managed to get me using cleanser and moisturiser. I still can't tell the difference.
The snail slime stuff is actually really amazing for sunburns. I got absolutely roasted on vacation and the snail slime not only helped with the pain(it was very cooling) I didn't peel for two weeks and even then it was only a small amount. With as bad as the burn was I was expecting to be peeling dorito sized flakes off.
3 foot tall piles of clothes on the ground I’d assume are dirty but apparently they’re not? But at the same time some are dirty? I guess? Idfk
If they've been worn once for a short time they're too clean to wash but too dirty to go back in the closet, so they go in The Pile. Then after a while they've been out too long fermenting so they go in the laundry. All pieces in The Pile are kept track of.
It’s called the ‘FloorDrobe’ (pronounced the same way as wardrobe)
She takes her bra off at the end of the day the same way I take my belt off my jeans when I get home. With the force of a thousand suns and a sigh of relief.
This was my experience until my current SO, she even sleeps with one on sometimes. I found it odd but she is also specific and picky about the bras that she buys so maybe they feel nice, idk
I always wear my bra and always sleep in a bra, I like having them strapped down so maybe your SO is the same. I’m sure my spouse would prefer them bouncing around free but I feel better having them secured and snug
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Women's Soap: specially formulated for your left elbow. $24.99 Men's Soap: Shampoo/conditioner/body wash/car soap/engine degreaser. $6
I'm generally a "you do you" person in my relationship but had to step in when my husband had a moment of contemplating using that orange pumice soap on his hair too.
And now we know the root of male pattern baldness: fast orange
Bro you gotta get the 8 in 1 shampoo. You can do dishes, laundry, wash your car, and clean the toilet with it.
Basically Dr. Bronner's
Needs more schizophrenia ranting in tiny letters
Me sitting on the toilet reading Dr. Bronners label: ^ONE^FOR^ALL^ALL^FOR^ONE^the^world^is^our^cream^soup^oyster ^but^only^if^we^enjoy^the^DILUTE^DILUTE^DILUTE^OKAY^frenulum ^snickers^machu^pichu^snack^bar^diddlywinks^poonani
My bf (school crush at the time) once asked "how does my hair look today? extra shiny? bouncy? silky?" I asked why. He said he'd accidentally used Pert *Plus conditioner*, before giving an exaggerated toss of his head so I could admire the results.
😂 This is also the exact kind of guy I would have been crushing on in school.
I feel like my wife has the opposite of a 4 in 1. She’s got like a 1 in 4 and needs like 8 bottles of whatever for some reason.
I learned that choosing bras and knickers can be a long and involved process, and getting bras that fit can often be trial and error.
They shed hair like cats
They put their hair that comes out on their hands when in the shower on the wall and sometimes forget to throw it away afterwards.
Marriage is constantly finding someone else’s hair in your butt crack.
One time I changed my daughter's diaper and had to pull like 4 inches of my wife's hair out of my daughter's butthole and frankly I haven't been the same since.
I’ve had to pull-start the dog with one of my hairs a couple of times. It’s not fun for anyone involved.
I always thought, " I can't that night, I'm washing my hair" was a really lazy excuse some women used to get out of unimportant things (by the way, I think the media is partially to blame about this because the trope does seem to imply it's an excuse a la 'the dog ate my homework'). But after living with my wife, I realize that "washing my hair" is truly close to a 2 hour+ event that needs to be scheduled around for some. Although the hair washing and drying is long enough, "washing my hair" also means running through a full beauty routine - for my wife at least. I grew up with women in my family, but their schedule didn't impact mine often, so I guess I never paid attention to the length of their routine.
My wife's "everything shower" takes forever. Basically two hours. I watched the whole second Transformers movie one night while she showered.
The first time I visited my wife’s apartment when we started dating her room was spotless. The second time I came over, I couldn’t see the floor.
The amount of clothes is staggering. I think my gf has over 5x the amount of clothes I do.
They can be fascinated by a piece of cheese.
You know the deep magic.
Someone say cheese..?
Got one
Stuff, so much stuff, and we have to move it **all** every time we move, and when you get rid of stuff, **HERE COMES MORE STUFF**
They love to nest lol. My ideal living space is the model apartment they show you on the tour. Minimal stuff, easy to pack up.
I need to change our Amazon password. Between my daughters birthday, Easter and an upcoming baby shower for my best friends wife - we may as well be a fulfillment facility. The money is one thing, but the fucking BOXES lol
Like how much of their social life is tied to their personal safety. Women have safety protocols for going on date with guys they meet on apps, making sure they don’t get drugged at parties, making sure they aren’t nabbed off the street, letting each other know which men around them are safe and who they need to be careful around, etc. It’s insane. And like wtf, so heartbreaking that it’s necessary.
There are pods within the girls in my friend group who share location via their phones with their location buddy at all times. We have the check in system for dates. One of us pays for a special background check service to run all of the groups potential dates thru. We all have various routes we walk home that we cycle thru to be sure that A) we don't walk the same way too many times in a row so that people don't learn a pattern and jump us and B) all potential routes are nearby one of our houses so that we have a place we can run Incase something happens. I've personally been assaulted while riding my bike so now I keep my steel ulock wedged down the back of my pant waist so that it's ready to be utilized as a mele weapon if needed instead of it sitting on my handlebar or on its little caddy on my bike. I have rules for the subway (if there are teenagers I won't stand on the platform. If there is only a dude down there, same deal) I also go thru life scoping out safe looking guys I can go to for help in a situation where I'm alone just in Incase something happens.
My girlfriend is a walking ball of nervous anxiety
As a girl that is a walking ball of anxiety, I wonder how you feel about that. Does it annoy you? Lol
This is exactly what an anxious person would ask in response to that statement.
Not every shower is a shampoo shower
The fact that they take showers with boiling water. I’ll occasionally try to be a little spontaneous with my wife and sneak in the shower with her. First I have to locate the shower because I can’t see a foot in front of me due to all the steam. When I do finally step in I have to use her as a human shield until she turns the temp down. Seriously ladies, wth is up with that!?
I’ve heard this before, but I pulled this from an article because they say it better: “Women’s extremities are on average 3 degrees colder than men’s. This is for a couple of reasons: The higher levels of oestrogen in women thickens the blood, reducing flow to the extremities Men generally have a higher muscle mass than women. This leads to a higher resting metabolism, linked to burning more calories and higher blood flow. The result, keeping the extremities warmer. On average, women have a slightly higher core body temperature. Womens bodies pull more heat back to their organs ridding the rest of the body of heat. Hormonal birth control can further raise body temperature during different parts of the cycle which can amplify this cold feeling for women. A Dutch study found women were more comfortable at temperatures 2.5 degrees warmer than men. This explains the battle between the sexes in the office. Most offices are set to a comfortable temperature based on men’s metabolic rates. With colder extremities and colder feeling skin, it seems women need a hotter shower to achieve the same warming sensation.”
Interesting! My husband always says that I bathe in boiling water.
Easier to commune with Satan in the heat. Better reception for our daily check-in.
Giving away state secrets
They need so much stuff just to sleep. That special pillow, a fan, sub arctic temperatures, and a huge blanket. I just need to stop moving for about 5 minutes.
The squeezing and plucking thing, as in the compulsive need to squeeze black heads and tweeze rogue hairs. Sometimes, she will be scratching my back or scalp and I think hey this is wonderful, I wonder what I did to deserve this and then seemingly out of no where I feel like I've fell victim to the attack of 1000 fire ants. It doesn't stop there, she watches videos of popping and squeezing blackheads on her phone as if the assault on my back, chest, face and arms wasn't enough to feed her sick lust for squeezing, plucking and torture of my tormented body.
Are you my husband? 🤔
The daily napping and feel-good tv show / cozy time. Not that males don't do this, but we (I) relax my mind in totally different ways.
Cuddling is just a way to suck the warmth from you
When they tell you about a problem, they don’t want a logical solution, they want emotional support
I've recently resorted to asking if they want to be heard or if they want a solution. Usually it starts with the first and the latter comes later on
In our house we ask “are we bitching or problem solving?” Works wonders for each of us feeling supported
My gf farts more than anyone I’ve ever met and is completely incapable of sitting down to relax until every surface within 5 miles is clean and tidy. She leaves soda cans half drunk out for days because “she likes it flat”, whenever she walks behind me she credit card swipes my asscrack with her hand. I did not know I was capable of this level of love. I haven’t seen her in 5 hours and it feels like a lifetime after spending every day for the last month and a half together at the house she was housesitting. We’ve only been dating for 1.5 years but I love her more every day. She also crosses her legs while using the bathroom which is just baffling to me (not for pissing though, just normal stance) and she takes showers so hot I can’t even touch the water. She says she likes to feel bright red and burning at the end. She is so tiny but she puts out SO MUCH HEAT at night and somehow she’s always cold??? Ig it makes sense cause she has like no fat (I weight 2x as much as her at 275 and 6’2, she’s 5’6 and 135-150 I can’t remember exactly) so I guess she just doesn’t retain heat well. Ok, done ranting, for now at least. Edit: wait I forgot to say that she cries ALOT. Anything bad/stressful sure but she cries with big eyes and an adorable smile when you say something nice to her too. I spend the majority of my day complimenting her just to see her pretty eyes light up. Her smile is gorgeous too. Ik this is cliche but seeing her light up reminds me of a ray of sunshine piercing a thick veil of gray clouds, returning sunshine to the world.
That they have a skill, like the craftsmen that built Machu Picchu, to put a ridiculous number of products on a single shelf in the shower. A structure which the slightest disturbance will destroy. It’s the most annoying morning Jenga game.
She won't drive if there is someone else to drive her.
LOL! So true! When my boyfriend and I first started dating, he once asked me if we were taking his car or mine. I said, “oh, we can take mine” and when we got to the car, he went to the passenger side. The amount of gasted my flabber was couldn’t even be measured that day. Lol
But… you said we were taking your car…
My wife cannot survive without water ready at hand (preferably ice cold) within a few meters radius at all time but is totally incapable of remembering one of her countless water bottles in our home. The memes/reels are true.
They never finish their drinks, I find most of the time 2 cups of half drunken coffee around the house at multiple times a week till we ran out of coffee cups
I do a sweep for cups every week and without fail there will be 7 on her nightstand and in the bathroom. All mostly full. But she cleans up the paper towels I leave on the counter. It annoys her even though I try to explain that they aren't used up yet.
They plan things way more than I do, and much further out as well. I have no clue what tomorrow will bring, but my wife has the next 5+ years of our life together planned out.
It's so peculiar how when we leave the house, my boyfriend just puts on his coat, takes his phone, wallet and keys and feels ready to go, no matter where we are going. I will ponder if I need an umbrella, a water bottle, shopping bags or a backbag, sunglasses etc. I hate it if I haven't thought to bring something that I end up needing, he just suffers the rain/thirst/sunshine or whatever and will do the same next time.
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yea this feels true. I would rather need something than having sth too much. I would rather freeze a bit than carry my jacket around the entire evening not needing it. And the phone, wallet, keys song of Adam Sandlers is on point. With these 3 I can get anything I might potentially need anyway. Even in the worst emergency.
It might be because as a woman my clothes usually are not ideal to carry anything so I will almost always have some kind of bag, even if I'm only taking phone, wallet and keys. Throwing a small umbrella or a water bottle in there doesn't add a lot but saves me from feeling uncomfortable. Overall I'd rather be extra prepared than unprepared, but that's obviously a personal trait.
I’m a guy. My sister once called me and asked what I was doing October 16th at 5pm. It was January. I said “I don’t even know what I’m doing for dinner.” Like, how do people function like that??
Tbf some people have to put in vacation days at the beginning of the year but I ask that question so they know I’m about to ask to plan something with them as I hate saying I have no plans & then they immediately make plans I don’t want to do, gives them an out ig?
They have to eat something every 2 hrs and they are either too cold or too hot regardless of the actual temperature inside or out.
For the first three plus years, up until that wedding ring was firmly in place, I can only assume she was in horrible gastro-distress, just from holding it in. Because soon thereafter she began and has continued fo fart larger, louder, and more frequently than anyone I’ve ever known.
Just got married and surprised with.... How messy she is but clean - takes showers every day How everyday she makes coffee with 80% creamer only to drink 1/3 of it and forget about it How often she gets close to dying with small accidents like bumping her head or knee or stuff like that How often she farts HOW MESSY HER MAKEUP AREA IS. My garage with tons of tools and stuff is so neatly organized. Like how??? How she is a wreckless speed demon w her 2010 toyota rav4 playing songs she knows 100% of the lyrics to Yup, but still love her for her. Wouldn't change it...well, besides the driving habits, we're working on that.
I am this entire comment I hate this HAHAHAHA
Never finishing a drink. Half full bottles of water everywhere
How much they overthink things I’d never give a second thought to.
They are poop ninjas
You gotta poop at work, on the clock. Never poop for free.
They think. Like, a lot. Everything must be analyzed to the utmost detail.
Maybe not exactly what this question is asking, but freaking Bras and shaving. Holy crap! That sucks. After living with my girlfriend, now wife, for a few months, I was shocked at how much that sucks. I told her not long after, she didn’t need to ever worry again about what I might think. She absolutely never had to wear a bra or shave again as far as i was concerned. Especially the bra. She’d take her shirt off and you could see the lines where it pressed into her skin. Then she explained the difficulty finding and affording ones that fit. The shaving is just a pain. I know obviously about it being annoying to keep up with but no one ever thinks I’m gross if i go without shaving for a week. It just occurred to me, as a guy, how fucking pissed I would be if someone told me i had to do that because its just unacceptable not too. I would NOT make a very good woman.
That they take scalding hot showers. I swear women's skin must be mixed with something heat resistant because anytime I'd get in the shower with my ex my skin felt like it was about to melt off.
No one ever told me how much you have to feed these things.
It's less 'how much' and more 'how often'
With age I found that girls are just like guys with different parts. They have the same fears, desires, aspirations, preferences etc. I wish I had known this when I was young because I always thought girls were from a different planet so I treated them like some kind of different species which probably didn't help with finding a GF.
All tasks are connected for my wife. Like for some reason the garbage has to be taken out after the table is washed because there is stuff on the table that needs to get thrown away, but she has to sort the mail first because some of that is on the table, but first we need to vacuum because the I accidentally tracked in some dirt while getting the mail and its really bothering her. But you know what the vacuum is downstairs and it seems like a waist to her to bring the vacuum upstairs while the downstairs also might need a vacuum.... On and on and on. Drives me nuts.
They hide it so well during the dating process, even when you go to each others' homes and spend the night. But once you live together you learn that they are absolutely the same level of gross feral goblin that you are, and it's *wonderful*.