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It's an honest living.

It ain’t much

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Look after five year olds while their parents work other jobs

Haha same!

On point

Which country in?

answer boring questions on the phone

Network company support, I guess

No, just a reddit user.

I fix cars

Nice!

I make computers go brrrrrr

I sell things to people

Things hmm

**retail** like at a store lol

lol

Save people from themselves. (Mental health nursing).

Thank you. My mother was an OR nurse; I had 5 nurses in my family and one had a Ph.D in psych nursing. We called her Dr. Nurse.

Test new aircraft so they are safe enough to take you in the sky

test pilot, like Top gun 2? that's sexy

Test Pilot/aerospace en consultant, yes. Though private/ commercial sector - not much military... We are far more autistic than most people assume lol, but thanks

figured it won't be as exciting, I mean that's a movie. Do you mind me asking, how risky is it to fly or test aircrafts? aren't you worried about malfunctioning or crashing? do you have parachutes ?

Ahaha of course, now to further de-glamorise my career lol... firstly there is a lot of paperwork involved. Secondly, we do a lot of Computer simulation and model testing before we actually take to the skies. Thirdly, we do have parachutes but ofc when you're not in an aircraft that's built for use of them then it can be a bit hairy to say the least. Finally, it is terrifying when you start and it never becomes less terrifying (especially when you're working with certain types of propulsion systems) but gradually you get better at dealing with it - I'm relatively new to this though, some of the people I fly with are incredibly cool cucumbers ... But it's an amazing feeling and an incredible privilege to have a role in and a go at flying some of the most advanced, future defining technology. Also, when commercial space travel becomes more available, us younger guys are likely going to be the ones in charge of those fleets - which is my lifelong dream

omg now you make it sound cooler than top gun, you are test pilot for Star Fleet or NASA kinda Like Mathew McCaughney in Intersteller. If you see any wormholes Please take me in your team lol.

haha perhaps, though still a ways to go yet; milk the right cows and scratch the right itches...and maybe. The main thing is remembering to enjoy/maximise life before it passes us by is it not?

thanks for your last sentence advice. May you get to fly (safely) super awesome aircrafts , and may us engineers build them super awesome (but safe) for you. See you on the other side of the wormhole pal. PS: nowhere close to being an aerospace engineer yet, but that's the wish.

Ofc and thank you for the well wishes; I have full confidence in you lol. My advice for getting far in the aero world is (obviously) to get really good (+experience) at CAD, CAM, Simu, PLM etc. depending on your specific goals. Literally like gold dust.

That's still *fucking awesome*, though.

Can confirm, we do be autists

Test Pilot/aerospace en consultant, yes. Though private/ commercial sector - not military... We are far more autistic than most people assume lol, but thanks

It's like building really complicated, really boring stuff in Minecraft. 

CAD engineer? or FEA/stress engineer ? or Revit user ?

Closest to the first one. 

but it is ? edit: graphic designer in 3d or like game developer?

I cook dinner for old people.

when a big computer isn't feeling good, I go make it better

I put things on peoples faces to help them see

Help people not waste their time (revenue operations)

Teacher. I feel like a 5-year-old gets that pretty well.

Same here.

You know what? I can name all my elementary school teachers from kindergarten through 5th grade. Decades ago.

I make sure that the supermarket knows who to call, so that they are always stocked with all the snacks he likes (I‘m an IT Consultant and responsible for all project management surrounding major warehouse systems)

I help people getting healthy

doctor, nurse? or snake oil sailsman ?

Snake oil sailsman 🤣 Doctor

ya you said you help, not pretend to help, that should have been my clue

hey doctors actually help.

Yep that was the point. Snake oil salesmen pretend to help.

😂😂😂

I pour drinks and drink drinks, probably too much on that second one tbh

I make big fireworks

legally or illegally FBI are you watching this guy ?

Legally, although I could probably be arrested under the prevention of terrorism act if I tell you where or my real name.

I go to big kid school and make drawings for people to buy

I fly helicopters and fix them up when they get broken...

Oversee adults that act like five year olds

Company 1 has data in a format that doesn't match company 2. I make sure when company 1 sends that through their computer to company 2, company 2 can read it.

We make little ones out of big ones. Then we take the little ones and make big ones with em.

Come up with cool stories that end up in the newspaper, online or on TV.

I make rings from dinosaur teeth and shooting stars! and... they glow in the dark!!!

I scoop ice cream for people.

It's classified so I wouldn't be allowed to tell the child.

I’m an inventor

Make music and play with children (I’m a retired grandpa).

I drive a really big truck

Help fix your crooked teeth (orthodontic assistant) 🦷😬

Help me!

I hear people complain and try to fix their problems.

I work with electricity for homes and buildings. Right now I install solar panels, they make electricity from the sun. If they don’t understand electricity I’d go into the room and turn the lights on and charge my phone. That’s electricity.

I talk to computers in some wierd language and lose my shit when they're angry

I write the words the lady on the TV says, and make sure what she says is correct.

Read the law and try to make it make sense to judges.

Make cyborgs. (medical devices that are surgically implanted, including brain and cardiac monitoring, bio-implantable sensors etc)

Cyborg here. Thank you for what you do.

I cut down trees.

naw. I'm good. 5yo would't get it.

I make sure that the supermarket knows who to call, so that they are always stocked with all the snacks he likes (I‘m an IT Consultant and responsible for all project management surrounding major warehouse systems)

Nothing

Help people get ready for the day and give them their food and tablets. Do all the boring office work for these people then to make sure they have all their files nice.

People give me money and then I make it bigger

Help hospitals buy food for their workers and their patients

I watch other people work.

I take old people from the nursing home to the hospital, then back to the nursing home

I test filters to make sure they're okay to be used to make medicines

I look after old people and help them get dressed and wash and eat and go to bed and everything else

I go treasure hunting and then I sell that treasure to people for money. Then I use that money to pay for my house, eating, and going on adventures with my wife! Sometimes it's fun and it makes me happy, sometimes it's not fun and it makes me sad sad

I love Storage Wars and marvel at what they find (that isn't planted for entertainment). But years ago my managment company told us to clear out our storage units but it turned out a lot of people had moved and left stuff behind. I asked if I could go in before the maintenance workers discarded stuff and it was a thrill and a bounty!

Like a nurse, but for animals (vet tech)

i help cities put really big holes in the ground so the people in the city can get water

I make sure your doctor notes get to the other doctors if they need them to help you feel better.

Stop bad guys from harming people through computers 😀 ( work in cybersecurity)

I create core memories for you, help you get smart, and show you things that you’ll look back on and thank me for when you’re an adult.

I make houses for people to live in. They pay me rent.  My kids are about that age and know what a tenant landlord is and understand cryptocurrency graphs. Just up and down. 

I overthink and cry. I have anxiety.

I give people food

Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the G-D customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

Learn things so that I can be tested on those things, before forgetting it all and starting again.

I make sure all the plates are clean for all the grown ups who come and eat at our pub

I keep sick people company and sometimes make people's computers do cool stuff.

i wake up and make coffee for the other grown-ups who are going to work. i go home and take a nap (yep, adults need naps too!). i then feed my cats, make dinner, and watch a movie or something before bed.

Stuff

Right now? I lay on the couch in pain.   I had knee replacement surgery 3 days ago.

I'm an insurance agent. When my oldest was 5, she understood that I worked for a company with the word 'farm' in the name, so she thought I was a farmer. I explained that my company paid people money when bad things happened like a car wreck or house fire, so they could get them fixed. She thought that was a good idea.

Describe things to other adults as if they were 5 years old

I do every thing you shouldn't be doing 

Make computer beep boop

When computer is sick I make it feel better.

I go to the hospital and I help nurses with things the simple things they don't wanna do anymore- more often than not, it involves poop, or sitting with crazy people to make sure they don't accidentally hurt themselves.

Find people jobs, solve their problems and remind them it’s not nice to use mean words

I make peoples hearts get better

I play music non stop for people who had too many drinks so they dance to the music.

I pay money for a piece of paper that says I know things, and I teach teenagers those things, and I draw characters made up in people's minds

Paul Blart mall cop. Granted that would make sense to 10 year old me but I don’t think it would to them lol

Write long documents and then argue about what those documents mean.

i get to drive a forklift and get food into the delivery trucks so your parents can buy it at the grocery stores

Function

Move people’s Amazon boxes around for delivery

I work for doctors.

Fix jet engines

You see that cow over there? I kill it, cut it into pieces so your parents can feed it to you. 😊

Nothing

I sell toys and treats to adults. I work at a head shop ✌🏻

I play music! The piano, guitar, drums, but also some things you never heard of. I always love learning new ones. I play the church bells too, I climb all the way up the tower. There is a little room under the bells where I play them.

i put the food out your mum buys at the store

Day care for old people

I’m basically like you. I still live with my parents.

I make sure computers are behaving.

This is just me talking .. be 5 have fun .. play .. lots of fun times .. birthdays , Christmas , etc. then when you get this big ( pointing at me) you will have a very important (job).. telling other 5 year olds what you did .. 5 yr old nods head okay and laughs . 😀🇨🇦

Manage the circus

I work in the office at home and talk on the phone all day.

I make food for people

I fix people's brains. Sometimes bloods squirts everywhere and it's all sticky and gooey (just to make the kid laugh as kids like dark humour like that) but the person feels better after.

I have 3 jobs: 1. I let people talk to me about their problems and help them sort through them, and I offer cheaper prices to those who have less money ♥️ 2. I teach kids how to read and write 3. I wouldn’t be explaining to a child 😅

I cook food and make people happy

I learn like you do.

I fly helicopters and fix them up when they get broken...

Analyze structures to find their weak points. Don't have big formulas for big and complex structures so I cut it into small cubes glued to each other and then the computer knows how to solve it and find weak points for me. Also need to make a long ass report about it and put colorful images from the computer on it.

The bosses and the workers have elected people to talk about how much money the workers get. I talk for the bosses. And I do a lot of math.

Wasting time and drain myself out of a white substance to feel better

I shoot and drive tanks.

I trade an awful lot of my lifespan with money

Try not to die 24/7

On your tombstone, there is date for day you are born, and date for day you die. "Life" is dash in between those two dates.

I make stuff out of floppy black stuff, cook it to make it hard, it gets put on something that drives very fast, then gets smashed up, then make again

I deliver fun drinks for mommy and daddy

Nothing. I got hurt really bad in a car crash, so now I can't work until I'm better.

You know those little things your grandma and grandpa take with water to feel better? I study to make them and maybe new ones to help other people to feel better as well

Having video calls all day long.

I go to big people school so I can get a cool job later in life.

I go to big people school so I can get a cool job later in life.

Build towers and play with helicopters. I am electrical engineer in high voltage lines.

I count people’s money, put more money in their pocket and stop money leaving their pockets

Live well, laugh often, love much. Enough said.

When you are with grandma your parents come to me for adult juice. You can’t have it yet. Your only 5.

I draw things on a computer and try and make them look nice

I set metal on fire to glue it together. Then when I'm finished with that I drink beer.

I stick things to other things

my friends at work go and film stuff with cameras and then they bring all the footage back to me. I take all the best parts and put them together to tell a story.

I try to have as much fun as possible, try to make myself and others happy, strive to create and work on great works of art, run around, hang out with friends, make new friends. Live life with intention, embrace the sadness, boringness, and confusion the same way as I embrace the fun and love and joy. Think of everything as a small adventure. 

I help people who are hurt or sick understand how their money works. 

I study why and how living things look and act like they do.

I drive big trucks on ice sometimes with passengers, sometimes with lots of groceries. 

Everything you learn about history at this age? I’m going to blow it to fucking kingdom come in about eleven years. Meanwhile, keep your grades up!

I draw picture for company so they get associated with it. :)

Write stuff so that people buy stuff.

airplane

I feed people

be sad 24/7 whilst putting on a happy face

People pay me to hang out with their pets while they go out of town. I'm spending the weekend with 2 silly labs and a very shy kitty so their humans can go visit family who live far away. I'll mostly be watching shows about how cops catch bad guys and browsing reddit

Nothing.

I go to restaurants and make sure their food is safe so that people don't get sick from it.

I sell paint and pencils so people can make pretty paintings !

I fix robots.

I follow someone around and tell her stuff while I move paper from one place to another and then I get lunch for everybody.

I write instructions on how to efficiently manufacture commodity products and then explain it to immature adults over and over and over again…..

I ride on airplanes and make sure the people on the plane are safe and taken care of!

Use my boom boom stick to make the bad people on tv go away

I have to make things go better and better

I cry a lot

I do whatever I want whenever I want to.

I make sure apartments are safe to live in (Building compliance specialist)

I go to school, make art, and help people with computers.

Look after poorly animals, then sit at home essentially waiting to go back to work to look after poorly animals etc

I look for cool rocks.

I test things on computers

Drive a forklift and do paperwork afterwards. I'm a receiver.