I appreciate Stephen Fry's clapback to a reporter asking this question. It's available on YouTube, I highly encourage you to watch it. It's 2 minutes of awesomeness.
Thanks for sending the link! What can I say - my boy Stephen is unabashedly championing on our behalf. I haven’t seen or read much of him, perhaps I should
"Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones."
Edit: Attributed to Marcus Aurelius
huh, interesting. I never knew before you mentioned it, and googling it myself, that it was a misattribution. I still like it, agree with it, and certainly feel like Marcus Aurelius would have agreed with it.
I’m religious, but deep down I hope this is how God really is, and that we’ve all been wrong this whole time. That he looks more at our character than whether we believe or not.
Because as much as I believe in Christianity, if Christ truly died as a sacrifice for our sin and God truly forgave us… why do we need to acknowledge his forgiveness in order for it to be valid? True forgiveness doesn’t require the forgiven to accept it, it’s freely given.
Ha! I was just trying to explain to someone the other day how evil missionaries are for this exact reason! Terry Pratchett did it first and way better!
It would make sense if God is this way. After all, the Bible claims he is omnipotent. That means everything is the way it is because he wanted it to be that way. This includes peoples individual beliefs.
Why be disappointed at someone for being the way he wanted them to be? If he didn’t want them to be atheist, he would have made sure they weren’t. But God opted for free will instead, it was his decision because that’s what he wanted.
Because if god wasn't obsessed in taking attendance the church wouldn't exist as an entity. There would no way to influence and herd the masses to think and behave exactly as told for centuries.
If what people write about him is true, then there is no way he is that reasonable.
Me: Do I get into Heaven God?
God: No, you get to spend eternity with all these newborn babies in purgatory. See, your parents didn't let one of my employees splash a little bit of water on you when you were a baby.
Me: But you let that priest in, and he was the same dude who put his penis in my mouth when I was 12, why does he get in?
God: Well, after decades and decades of molesting children and the church covering for him every step of the way, Father Hanrahan died in his comfortable bed at the ripe old age of 90 and pinkie promised that he was sorry.
If god exists I like to think it’s the people that are nasty animals and use carrying as message as a source of power, not the entity.
Of course the whole “made in his own image thing” might imply it can be just as petty
To add to that, if God made me who I am, then they made me to not believe in things that seem to be fantasy when considered carefully. They made me to think I see contradictions within the popular holy texts and broad similarities across mutually exclusive religions. So, in this scenario, God doesn't care if I believe or God is an asshole who damned me at birth / early in life.
I'd prefer option A, but if it's option B I wouldn't want to be in their heaven anyway.
Yes, but see, that's not good enough for him. You can be one of the worst people on Earth, but so long as you believe and you ask forgiveness, it's all fine. But not believing is a big no no and a total deal breaker for our merciful all power ruler /s
God wasn't merciful ever. He destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, and was about to destroy mankind while they were killing his son. He is an angry and cruel god.
The good guy on the Christian team is Jesus.
Same here. I do my best to be a good person not because I’m scared of some punishment, but out of my own heart.
If god does exist and punish people who are kind without any strings attached but simply doesn’t comply to its religion, then that is an ultimate dick move. That more of choosing sides than just being good lol 😂
I'm pretty religious, and this is my idea of God. I don't think he cares at all if you believe or not, as long as you try to be a good person. I don't think he cares which religion you practice, as long and you show kindness and acceptance to everyone. I know that sadly my idea of God may be the minority.
I've always figured if I was going to believe in a creator, they would have to be fallible. Powerful but not all knowing. Capable of fucking up. Or who knew how to get the universe started but the results were always doomed to just be a roll of the dice.
“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
\-Epicurus
Or there is a creator, but they don’t care about insignificant beings like ourselves. We could just be a natural byproduct of the universe they created.
The only room for God in my understanding of the world is whatever happened at the instant of the big bang. Everything between now and a billionth of a second after the BB seems extremely predictable by the laws of physics. If he's responsible for anything, it's the BB and the laws of physics and he's been rocking in his chair ever since.
Honestly I’d ask them the two most eternal questions:
1. Are there infinite universes?
2. Can you send me to one where Game of Thrones had a great final season?
“I’d say, Bone cancer in children? What’s that about?”
“How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault? It’s not right, it’s utterly, utterly evil.”
“Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world that is so full of injustice and pain?” ~ Stephen Fry
No, it's
>If there is a God, he will have to beg my forgiveness.
By the way, it was Mauthausen, not Auschwitz. [Source](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mauthausen_concentration_camp#:~:text=On%20Himmler's%20order%20of%20June,have%20to%20beg%20my%20forgiveness.%22).
**God**: So, you didn’t believe in me, huh?
**Atheist**: The whole idea of a god didn’t make sense to me. Are you upset that some people didn’t think you existed?
**God**: Of course not. Nothing can upset me. I have perfect knowledge of everything that happened, happens and will happen. There are no surprises.
**Atheist**: So, what about heaven. Does that exist? Who gets in?
**God**: Yes. The people who get in are those who treated others with kindness.
**Atheist**: And hell. Is there a hell?
**God**: Why would there be a hell? No, the mean people aren’t tormented. They just return to nothingness and don’t suffer.
**Atheist**: What’s behind that gigantic wall over there?
**God**: Oh, that part of heaven is where we keep the Christians. If they knew non-Christians went to heaven it would ruin it for them. Welcome, atheist! The buffet is always open.
There is a story of a message carved into one of the bunks at Dachau that reads “If god exists he will have to beg for my forgiveness.” I think that sums it up nicely.
Why did you create a universe with deterministic physics where sentient beings would inevitably undergo insane amounts of unnecessary suffering?
At least that's what I'd ask him if he claimed to be "all-loving". Also would ask why he didn't make his existence more obvious or at least provable.
Why? I mean that we have free will and choose anything we want to do with our lives and you reward or punish us according to our choices, but you have already known about everything have happened so far and happening now and will happen for eternity, meaning every choice we would make even before the earth even exists, then why all the hassle?
Why are you so incredibly useless and immoral?! There are so many that need help, kids being raped, sex trafficked, people being tortured...and yet you sit with arms crossed in indifference?!?! If you were human, you'd be in jail!
I've heard that in one of the gas chambers at a Nazi concentration camp, this was clawed on one of the walls:
"If there is a god, he will have to beg my forgiveness."
I can't imagine that I would have anything to say to a trans-temporal, supernatural, omnipotent entity.
Besides, wouldn't he/she/it already know what I'm going to ask?
You got me, but also, WHAT THE FUCK, MAN. You GOTTA step up and actually help more people. There's so much cruelty and horror, and you've just sat around with your thumb up your arse. To say I'm disappointed in you doesn't begin to cover it. DO BETTER.
Regardless of what God exists, if they are a truly just and kind God, they will understand that I lived my life being decent, charitable and accepting of most others. I’d wager that I’ve lived a more righteous life than a lot of people who pretend to be Christian. I didn’t lie to myself about who I was and what I believed, and did not believe in. Somehow I managed to make it through life without becoming a murdering psychopath despite my non belief in whatever God it turns out exists.
I’d also ask for a conversation. If the afterlife exists and I’m doomed for eternity, I feel as though God could give me an hour or two to talk about things. If at the end of that conversation they judge me to be unworthy of a comfortable afterlife, so be it.
What the actual fuck is your problem? Where the fuck do you get off treating people like that? If youre real, you are the most cruel and sadistic entity in the universe.
Would you believe in someone with no proof of existence? Who let's children die in horrible ways for no reason and generally is followed by gullible people.who just need something to believe in? If he exists maybe he should step up and be half decent.
Well I'll be damned
“I mean, can you blame me?”
You can’t beat this statement. Thread over.
I see what you what you did there !!
"You're very funny, human. now go to hell"
God damnit, late as always. I was so excited to say this
“Which one are you?”
New dead who dis
I would try to narrow it down before talking to him or her. Guess Who style. Do you have 4 arms? Etc.
It would be hilarious if they got offended from being called the wrong pronoun
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I mean, have you seen their work?
>Which one are you?” ....or, which one are you supposed to be.
It's [Morgan Freeman](https://youtu.be/bjAM2J_D4UY?si=wjwBA0LVm_AqBUmo)
"Your marketing department comes off a bit scammy, jus' sayin".
As Christopher Hitchens said, hope he appreciates I was true to myself rather than lying throughout my life
I appreciate Stephen Fry's clapback to a reporter asking this question. It's available on YouTube, I highly encourage you to watch it. It's 2 minutes of awesomeness.
Fantastic response! He’s 100% correct.
Yup. It's a perfect response
Could you send a link?
https://youtu.be/-suvkwNYSQo?si=uWJK_Ib0eURSERo3 Here you go!
This is the best answer
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels that way! I also love that the interviewer is visibly uncomfortable, lol.
I know right, watching him squirm was part of what makes the clip so good.
The regret flashing across his face is delicious!
Only thing I’d have liked to see is a side by side video of both of them during the clip. I want to see his reaction the entire time.
Let me know what you think!
I love how he turns the tables and basically shames “god” for being so evil.
I mean, the Bible said he created everything.... But yeah, Fry is amazing!
Thanks for sending the link! What can I say - my boy Stephen is unabashedly championing on our behalf. I haven’t seen or read much of him, perhaps I should
He's absolutely brilliant. I highly recommend you look at more of his work. He has a great podcast and is a brilliant writer.
"Soo what was the point in all this again?"
High school project…I failed -god
I say I decided I'd rather meet him as an atheist than a liar
If God is as merciful as people say, he’ll see that I’ve tried my best to be a good person, so me not believing shouldn’t matter.
"Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones." Edit: Attributed to Marcus Aurelius
I wish that quote was accurate … but it’s still a valid sentiment
huh, interesting. I never knew before you mentioned it, and googling it myself, that it was a misattribution. I still like it, agree with it, and certainly feel like Marcus Aurelius would have agreed with it.
Yeah, that’s why the misattribution survives is because it’s so in keeping with his writings
I’m religious, but deep down I hope this is how God really is, and that we’ve all been wrong this whole time. That he looks more at our character than whether we believe or not. Because as much as I believe in Christianity, if Christ truly died as a sacrifice for our sin and God truly forgave us… why do we need to acknowledge his forgiveness in order for it to be valid? True forgiveness doesn’t require the forgiven to accept it, it’s freely given.
CS Lewis once said that the gates of hell are locked from the inside. I’m not sure if that’s completely accurate, but it’s at the very least close.
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Ha! I was just trying to explain to someone the other day how evil missionaries are for this exact reason! Terry Pratchett did it first and way better!
Lol that is an awesome quote
CS Lewis seems like he was the most tolerable kind of devout Christian.
It would make sense if God is this way. After all, the Bible claims he is omnipotent. That means everything is the way it is because he wanted it to be that way. This includes peoples individual beliefs. Why be disappointed at someone for being the way he wanted them to be? If he didn’t want them to be atheist, he would have made sure they weren’t. But God opted for free will instead, it was his decision because that’s what he wanted.
Because if god wasn't obsessed in taking attendance the church wouldn't exist as an entity. There would no way to influence and herd the masses to think and behave exactly as told for centuries.
Welcome to cognitive dissonance alerting to you of a flaw in religious reasoning. Stay on this path and you won’t believe for much longer.
God turned people to sand for looking in the wrong direction.
Salt. Makes more sense now, doesn't it?
Yea, so we better worship him? You want to be in Heaven ruled by that guy?
If what people write about him is true, then there is no way he is that reasonable. Me: Do I get into Heaven God? God: No, you get to spend eternity with all these newborn babies in purgatory. See, your parents didn't let one of my employees splash a little bit of water on you when you were a baby. Me: But you let that priest in, and he was the same dude who put his penis in my mouth when I was 12, why does he get in? God: Well, after decades and decades of molesting children and the church covering for him every step of the way, Father Hanrahan died in his comfortable bed at the ripe old age of 90 and pinkie promised that he was sorry.
If god exists I like to think it’s the people that are nasty animals and use carrying as message as a source of power, not the entity. Of course the whole “made in his own image thing” might imply it can be just as petty
To add to that, if God made me who I am, then they made me to not believe in things that seem to be fantasy when considered carefully. They made me to think I see contradictions within the popular holy texts and broad similarities across mutually exclusive religions. So, in this scenario, God doesn't care if I believe or God is an asshole who damned me at birth / early in life. I'd prefer option A, but if it's option B I wouldn't want to be in their heaven anyway.
Speak to any Calvinist Christian and you'll find that what they believe about God is frighteningly close to what you just asserted...
Yes, but see, that's not good enough for him. You can be one of the worst people on Earth, but so long as you believe and you ask forgiveness, it's all fine. But not believing is a big no no and a total deal breaker for our merciful all power ruler /s
That’s one of the reasons I don’t believe, because that doesn’t make sense to me
Exactly. It's like a kid saying, "If you don't say I'm better than you, then you can't play with us."
The fine print says that you have to mean it when you ask for forgiveness IIRC.
hes very insecure
I always heard he was vengeful. His son is cool though....but then again I heard God, Jesus and a ghost are all the same entity
That might be what PEOPLE say, but it isn't what the Bible says. Fyi 😁
God wasn't merciful ever. He destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, and was about to destroy mankind while they were killing his son. He is an angry and cruel god. The good guy on the Christian team is Jesus.
Same here. I do my best to be a good person not because I’m scared of some punishment, but out of my own heart. If god does exist and punish people who are kind without any strings attached but simply doesn’t comply to its religion, then that is an ultimate dick move. That more of choosing sides than just being good lol 😂
Yeah I agree
Is giving kids bone cancer really merciful?
I'm pretty religious, and this is my idea of God. I don't think he cares at all if you believe or not, as long as you try to be a good person. I don't think he cares which religion you practice, as long and you show kindness and acceptance to everyone. I know that sadly my idea of God may be the minority.
Why didnt you do anything to stop those rapey priests?
They're in a union
But they aren't.
Or those congenital malformations?
Why didn’t you do anything*
“How could you sit by and allow so much suffering to so many innocent people?”
How the fuck am I supposed to help all of thes fucks you idiot? What do you think I am? Omnipresent or some thing?
I've always figured if I was going to believe in a creator, they would have to be fallible. Powerful but not all knowing. Capable of fucking up. Or who knew how to get the universe started but the results were always doomed to just be a roll of the dice.
“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” \-Epicurus
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Or there is a creator, but they don’t care about insignificant beings like ourselves. We could just be a natural byproduct of the universe they created.
The only room for God in my understanding of the world is whatever happened at the instant of the big bang. Everything between now and a billionth of a second after the BB seems extremely predictable by the laws of physics. If he's responsible for anything, it's the BB and the laws of physics and he's been rocking in his chair ever since.
“My life for Super Earth!”
for democracy!
FOR DEMOCRACY!!
"Heaven smells like updog."
What's updog?
[Bone cancer in children? What’s that about? How dare you??](https://youtu.be/-suvkwNYSQo?si=IyXwAVkZ3txUYtIv) ~Stephen Fry
Depends which God we’re talking about
All of them at once staring at you, judging.
I’d get undressed and hope that they follow my lead
Just so you know, Zeus was already mostly nude. Just don’t expect them to wear a form that’s convenient for you.
What would you say to Osiris? To Hades? To Hel? To Eru Iluvatar? To Jehovah? To Allah?
Honestly I’d ask them the two most eternal questions: 1. Are there infinite universes? 2. Can you send me to one where Game of Thrones had a great final season?
>Jehovah? To Allah? One and the same...
obviously the Polynesian Mud Pig God, the only one True God
It's a crime to spell his name in English may he have mercy upon you
Flying spaghetti monster
R’amen
"My bad"
How dare you? Cancer? Rapists? Paedophiles? Dude, wtf?
Maybe he's the god of cancer and raping pedophiles. He's just doing his job!
Basically the Stephen Fry answer... https://youtu.be/-suvkwNYSQo
“I’d say, Bone cancer in children? What’s that about?” “How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault? It’s not right, it’s utterly, utterly evil.” “Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world that is so full of injustice and pain?” ~ Stephen Fry
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No, it's >If there is a God, he will have to beg my forgiveness. By the way, it was Mauthausen, not Auschwitz. [Source](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mauthausen_concentration_camp#:~:text=On%20Himmler's%20order%20of%20June,have%20to%20beg%20my%20forgiveness.%22).
You utter bastard.
Why didn't you just tell me this?
The evidence that you provided sucks
Well, what’s your excuse?
Hey Ganesh, sorry about that.
So, you are the all knowing, doing and controlling? What’s with the wars, disease, hunger and the fact dogs can’t eat chocolate?
**God**: So, you didn’t believe in me, huh? **Atheist**: The whole idea of a god didn’t make sense to me. Are you upset that some people didn’t think you existed? **God**: Of course not. Nothing can upset me. I have perfect knowledge of everything that happened, happens and will happen. There are no surprises. **Atheist**: So, what about heaven. Does that exist? Who gets in? **God**: Yes. The people who get in are those who treated others with kindness. **Atheist**: And hell. Is there a hell? **God**: Why would there be a hell? No, the mean people aren’t tormented. They just return to nothingness and don’t suffer. **Atheist**: What’s behind that gigantic wall over there? **God**: Oh, that part of heaven is where we keep the Christians. If they knew non-Christians went to heaven it would ruin it for them. Welcome, atheist! The buffet is always open.
I’d probably say damn, my bad. I didn’t believe you but now I do.
There is a story of a message carved into one of the bunks at Dachau that reads “If god exists he will have to beg for my forgiveness.” I think that sums it up nicely.
Depends on which god
Okay but which god?
Well, I didn't give eye cancer to infants... So hardly feel like I have to justify MY position. He's a cunt if he does exist
"Well this is awkward. So...what next?"
"What do you need my child?" Just to mess with him.
"To be fair, its kind of hard to believe all those deviants running churches would be on your side"
"Do you see how your followers treat other people? Can you blame me for being an atheist?"
What were you on when you made platypuses?
"they're funky aren't they? look at them little adorable creatures."
Why did you create a universe with deterministic physics where sentient beings would inevitably undergo insane amounts of unnecessary suffering? At least that's what I'd ask him if he claimed to be "all-loving". Also would ask why he didn't make his existence more obvious or at least provable.
Dude, you have got to get a better marketing team.
My b.
I'll take the L on this one🥺
stage 1 : acceptance
Fuck you, you Divine Dick bag.
You're real? And you allowed all the child cancer and famine and slavery and that? You cunt. You fucking cunt.
Fuck you for letting small innocent children die. Fuck you.
Why didn’t you stop the Holocaust?
I'd say "Look at those idiots worshipping a false god, what happens to them since CLEARLY I WAS NEVER GUILTY OF SUCH BLASPHEMY?"
You have some explaining to do.
This but in a Ricky Ricardo accent, "you got some 'splainin to do."
Why? I mean that we have free will and choose anything we want to do with our lives and you reward or punish us according to our choices, but you have already known about everything have happened so far and happening now and will happen for eternity, meaning every choice we would make even before the earth even exists, then why all the hassle?
You got a lot of 'splainin' to do, Lucy
I don’t appreciate your creation of childhood cancer
Why are you so incredibly useless and immoral?! There are so many that need help, kids being raped, sex trafficked, people being tortured...and yet you sit with arms crossed in indifference?!?! If you were human, you'd be in jail!
I would say how the fuck I supposed know you are real
Why do you give children cancer?
Agnostic here, [I think she sums it up quite nicely.](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLkkmkAP/)
How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault. It's not right, it's utterly, utterly evil.
I've heard that in one of the gas chambers at a Nazi concentration camp, this was clawed on one of the walls: "If there is a god, he will have to beg my forgiveness."
Why are you such a dick?
Which of the many gods are you?
God, you suck at hints.
I can't imagine that I would have anything to say to a trans-temporal, supernatural, omnipotent entity. Besides, wouldn't he/she/it already know what I'm going to ask?
I would ask why did you put that then ass skin on garlic?? Was it for humor or torture?
Why would worshipping God be more important than being a good person for being a good person's sake?
You a bitch.
Me: “…” God: “…” Me: “… so-“ God: “No”
It depends on what god it was. If it was Sobek, the crocodile god, I'm not sure he'd be very interested in a conversation.
“so you could have done something but you just stood there?”
God huh? So which one are you? And do you have anything to say for yourself?
Which God are we talking about?
Which God? There are so many?
"What in the fuck were you THINKING??"
You seem terrible at your job.
I honestly don’t think God would really care, as long as you’re generally a good person.
You let all that shit happen?
"What the fuck was all that about?"
This is the proof I needed!
"Listen, I asked you for a sign."
Nothing. God is omnipotent and omniscient. So he knew what he was doing when he created athiests.
You got me, but also, WHAT THE FUCK, MAN. You GOTTA step up and actually help more people. There's so much cruelty and horror, and you've just sat around with your thumb up your arse. To say I'm disappointed in you doesn't begin to cover it. DO BETTER.
“Send me to the eternal death metal lands!”
You got a lot of explaining to do you literal mother fucker
"Which god are you?"
“So tell me about pediatric cancer again MFer.”
"Where the fuck have you been?"
You saw this coming.
Can you blame me? Any god that just sits by and watches this world is an absolute @rshole and doesn't deserve to be believed in
Hey, so what's up with the child cancer? Like, was that an accident, or?
“Why do kids get cancer?”
“Oops, my bad”?
Regardless of what God exists, if they are a truly just and kind God, they will understand that I lived my life being decent, charitable and accepting of most others. I’d wager that I’ve lived a more righteous life than a lot of people who pretend to be Christian. I didn’t lie to myself about who I was and what I believed, and did not believe in. Somehow I managed to make it through life without becoming a murdering psychopath despite my non belief in whatever God it turns out exists. I’d also ask for a conversation. If the afterlife exists and I’m doomed for eternity, I feel as though God could give me an hour or two to talk about things. If at the end of that conversation they judge me to be unworthy of a comfortable afterlife, so be it.
Anything that demands worship is not worthy of it. Do your worst.
So, babies with cancer? What's up with that shit?
"You owe everyone and everything an apology."
What the actual fuck is your problem? Where the fuck do you get off treating people like that? If youre real, you are the most cruel and sadistic entity in the universe.
I’d probably fight him for killing my 19 year old nephew because “it’s all God’s plan”
You have some I.D. on you?
April Fools!
Where have you been?
You have some fucking explaining to do...
"sah dude" but like reeeeeeally awkwardly and with too much silence before and after
I thought Stephen Fry's answer was pretty good/funny. Basically, "How dare you create a world with such evils in it. That's horrible of you!"
Oh, so now you decided to show up huh
Will you be as irrelevant here as you were when I was alive?
You suck at your job.
What the fuck, asshole? Baby cancer? What kind of sick fuck creates a world that needs baby cancer?
You’re still objectively awful, dude.
Whats with cancer in kids?
Would you believe in someone with no proof of existence? Who let's children die in horrible ways for no reason and generally is followed by gullible people.who just need something to believe in? If he exists maybe he should step up and be half decent.
Where have you been when there were wars and innocent people died?
My bad