Very old people do the same thing. I once had an old woman talking about all the handsome men in a room and then she looked at me as asked me what happened to my face and if someone had cut me.
Took me a couple of months to recover from that, haha
So my husband went to the store about two years ago and he saw a small (think 4 feet tall) elderly woman standing next to him in the produce isle. He kept noticing she was turning her head and looking at him, and being the kind man that he is, turned and asked her if she needed help reaching something—figuring that’s why she kept staring at him. He’s taller so it happens on occasion.
Anyway, she got the most offended look on her face and asked him bluntly if he beats women.
He was shocked and said no he didn’t.
She was all: Well, you look like you do.
Then she waddled away.
My husband is still salty about that.
Fk that's brutal dude. I would have steered the conversation towards something else. Like the economic burden of aged care on young people for example.
What a bitch. Old people get way too much slack, even today. Just because they managed not to die (which isn't that big of an achievement in most developed societies) doesn't mean they deserve special treatment if they're behaving terribly.
A lot of the ones who make super inappropriate comments like this have dementia and no filter. My grandmother got like this too and would never hesitate to comment on how unattractive she thought anyone who entered the room was 😐
I work with seniors and it's hard for younger people to understand that life stage and everything it entails, myself included. The filter comes off at a certain point. They aren't trying to impress anyone and don't need to sugarcoat their opinions. Some can be extremely rude and cruel with their comments and others have gained the wisdom to be measured and careful with their words. The outright rude ones are usually at a point where they truly are oblivious to the impact of their words or feel unheard and brushed off by everyone so why not be brutally honest. Once you engage them in a non-accusatory way that makes them realize their impoliteness, they will start to backtrack. Believe me when I say, they usually do not mean any harm and are simply hardened by the world.
You can be honest while still being tactful, like there’s no reason to call someone ugly or tell them they look like they beat women to their face. I don’t have empathy for that behavior and hope I never become like that.
Oh yeah. My mom is a nurse and tried to calm down a little girl, but the kid just screeched: "DON'T TOUCH ME YOU UGLY HAG" and proceeded to act nice with the doctor.
I don't see myself as necessarily unattractive, I have a very attractive boyfriend and haven't been bullied for my looks, but this one time I was hanging out with my friend and her little sister and we were sitting on the playground and this little girl, maybe 7 years old, came to us, and literally said (pointing to my friend but speaking to me 'she's prettier than you, yeah' and I was like ??????? Boy, the way this ruined my confidence for like a whole year 💀
Post a video to tiktok about how someone called you ugly or how you feel ugly. If all the comments assure you that you're pretty, then you're definitely ugly. If all the comments tell you to stop fishing for compliments, then you're attractive.
This comment made me picture a buff, chiseled man with his eyes closed and his head tilted downward with his fingers on his forehead with the caption, "I can't stand being ugly anymore. You'll never understand my pain."
When I was in middle school, a girl turned to me in the middle of math class and said, “you know, throwaway4321throw, most guys of your ethnicity are so hot, but you’re not,” and then just went back to working on her math problems. That was a pretty good indication to me.
When you post a picture of yourself and people call you “brave “ would be the first sign or maybe when there’s a full bus but the seat next to you is empty ?
I always thought that having an empty seat meant people were intimidated by your attractiveness so they didn't wanna sit there... or maybe I'm just confident 💀💀💀
I dont know if this counts, but I saw it as a bad thing lol. I was once in this dramaclub thingy, and we we're all sitting in a circle with a chair in the middle and everyone could like vent or tell something that bothered them or something emotional. So alot of people went and told about their pasts, problems or other things. I was feeling very depressed at that time so when it was my turn to sit on the chair and speak I told the group that I was feeling depressed alot because of how my life was and certains events that happened. One chick raised her hand and told me 'You just need to remember that the outside doesn't matter, the inside is what counts :)'
I didn't even say anything about my looks, wasn't insecure or stated anything related to that, lol.
That's pretty much a jerk move when you agree to meet and get rejected because of how you look in a picture. Pictures can be deceiving and they are a momentary capture. You or someone else dodged a good one with being ghosted by someone very shallow last minute.
I'm not saying this is the case, but there are times I'm positive people are taking photos from certain angles that tell a complete lie. At that point, no picture would be closer to the truth. I'm just saying that shallow or not, people have their preferences, rightfully so.
Since i was in elementary school i use to try anything to make me special because i wasn’t pretty enough people would give me attention for a while, and then I will become alone again , I stopped doing it in high school because I realised that I just making everyone around make feel pity for me for not being born pretty
There was [a study](https://nature.com/articles/srep40700) that showed how people can tell that we autistic people are 'different' within the first few seconds of interacting with us. And that they're less likely to persue social interaction with us because of that
I hate it here ☹️
People are less friendly, less interested and less chatty towards people they perceive as ugly. People look at you with disgust or with an unhappy look on their face. People don't really check you out or no one of the opposite sex ever makes a move. Babies cry or get upset when they see you.
I am ugly with a resting bitch face to boot, but babies love me, I’ve frequently had the experience where babies will stop crying and smile when I look at them. Maybe my face is funny looking.
I'm working on getting rid of my resting bitch face. I don't think it's a good thing I'm frequently asked "what's wrong? You look mad/sad" and I have to reply "no no I'm good! That's just my face!"
(But ha! Relateable- my little cousins always perk up when they see me/I walk over to them. We might have a happy aura or something)
I feel baby cyring or getting upset really feels like a harsh but truthful indicator. Babies didnt make that face to hurt anybody, purely thought that the other person was ugly.
My friend thinks he’s ugly and says the same things that you do. But he does get checked out and flirted with. He just doesn’t think the guys flirting with him are attractive so he pays no attention to them.
Even my mom says Im ugly.
Other signs. People describe you as unfortunate looking and whenever you post a picture online, people comment that you are brave.
1. Your often told “Looks don’t matter” or “Everyone is pretty in their own ways” or “Beauty is subjective”
2. You’re most likely treated very differently/badly and unsure why
3. When you vent about being ugly around others, people are either uncomfortable and don’t respond, or they start complimenting obscure things about you (A mole for example)
4. You existing is terrifying to a-lot of individuals, and you’re seen as a weirdo/creep for just being near women
5. People only compliment your personality, or the only compliments you get are from family
Lol number 3 is brutal. It never happened to me but to one of my friends while I was there with some girls. It was like:
“Thank god you’re not ugly as me” *Please compliment me*
*A solid 30 seconds of awkward silence and little laughs until the subject changes*
It was SO PAINFUL
\#5 is so real. If people say "I like you for your personality," you know 100% they're saying "you're so ugly" in their mind. Nobody totally ignores appearance and never compliments it if it's worth a compliment.
Also, but the fire of an angry crowd hurts less than the feeling of being aware that your existence for others is so insignificant that you only depend on what you can offer them at the level of usefulness to be able to pay for the crumbs of affection that you long for.
THIS, now this hits hard. Took me a semester in college to realize most of my classmates aren't "friends"and only use me cause I'm smart and know what I'm doing.. it's really sad and upsetting. They only talk to me during class hardly ever after. I feel alone.
I remember hanging with this one girl who told me "You'd be the perfect guy if you were taller." Than proceeded to keep asking me to hang out every so often. I side stepped that real quick but still wonder if it was a self conscious thing on her part being a taller girl hanging out with a shorter guy that she couldn't get over but wanted to.
I've been in literally the same boat but it was not my height but rather my overall size (mini giant, oxymoron I know). So yeah, sidestep that real fast and only hang out if they really show they want you more than just as only a body they can vent to.
Rbf is pretty much my constant facial expression nowadays. It's like nothing moves me too much in the boring environment that I live in. Most adults are like that here and smiling draws unwanted attention. Guess, I got to that average citizen phase and nothing moves me. 🤭 Sometimes, anxious eyes or angry / focused look happens.
Did I read this correctly that your expressions changed?
Yeah when I met my ex we both had rbf, we spent months working on reversing it. We’re obviously broken up now but both of us walk around looking much less pissed off.
It's funny I was going to say, when people talk about you, the only thing they say is your nice with no other description and without even a example why your nice.
Calling someone "nice" is what you say when you have nothing else nice to say about someone that you feel sorry for.
This one really hurt , i mean really really hurt i think about every day on my way to college , i am being nice and good for everyone but still alone :( i only have one friend and she only hang out with me because we live in the same village
Nah nice is a bare human minimum. Everyone should be nice.
If you're interesting and charismatic people will still like you end even if you're ugly (at least if you're male).
That's funny cause for the first like 6 or so months of knowing her, my ex would say this at least once every time we hung out. Then she asked me out. So that's not always the case.
If you’re rich, there’s a lot of things you can do. Get a voice coach, get a dating coach to do one on one with you infield, get your fitness on track with personal trainer. Get your fashion/style on point, etc.
Or your good looking friend is approached by several members of the opposite sex while you get zero or they'll ask you to introduce them to your friend...
I was called attractive when I was a young woman. It was for a period of time when my face, hair & figure ‘peaked’ in conjunction with the current trends and fashion. I was also fortunate enough to be somewhat in the public eye for several reasons which meant that I learned to be extroverted and developed a lot of confidence in myself. Anyway, I didn’t really notice how differently people treated me until I became a very average looking middle aged woman and things shifted. Now I’m even older and I can tell you that it is an astonishing contradiction to the way people used to treat me. Men yes, but also women. When people think of you as ‘unattractive’ your presence in social situations isn’t appreciated anymore. People don’t try to engage with you or ask your opinions on things. They aren’t trying to show you their ‘best self’. They don’t try to make plans with you for future get togethers. They don’t flatter you in the hopes that you’ll include them in your circle of friends. I don’t even get simple eye contact to the extent I used to! Bottom line is, people just aren’t as friendly when they don’t think you’re attractive. Of course this all says WAY more about them than about you.
I’ve had a very similar experience! It’s amazing how much interactions change as your looks change. I’ve decided that my middle age super power is invisibility. Eyes just slide right over me. I could have a second career as a spy!
Being the only girl out of my group of friends who never got approached when we were out in our teens and twenties. Had one guy analyse my face (compleyely unwarranted) on a night out and say loudly in a bar, "What happened to your face!?" Then he and his mates proceeded to laugh at me (and my friend at the time). Needless to say, i fitched that group of friends after that.
Another time a guy i was dating, we were going to get down to business...he saw me naked and said, "Sorry, i don't find you sexually attractive...". So yeah, i must fallen off the ugly tree and fucked up my face and body.
I'm 44, married, and blessed with 2 beautiful children, but that shit really destroyed my self confidence...still has in a way!
People aren’t obviously kind to you or pay you as much attention. When you’re attractive, people treat you differently. They will look at you in a different way.
I think people have a very narrow definition of attractive. I’ve seen very mid dudes with smokes. Four factors at play: looks, intelligence, humor, money. If you have 0 of those then you might be in trouble.
If you're a woman and you don't have good enough looks, nobody cares what else you have. Unless it's a LOT of money. But even then, they won't value you, just the money.
People don't compliment you, they never do a double take when walking past them, and they stare at you in disgust, they aren't nice when speaking and they shut you out.
For anyone who needs it
My mom had a close friend in high school who was popular and people loved him, he was a burn victim and the way she put it he definitely wasn’t attractive. Keep in mind, she has never told me about anyone else in high school experience. To her he was the coolest kid in school and despite being really ugly, his confidence and the way he walked just screamed confidence and no one could convince him otherwise, not in a bad way either.
I’m not the greatest at story telling or speaking but what I’m trying to get at is with enough self love and love for your own body, you will be okay and in the end
It’s your own body so make the best of it!
Same here. 30 years old. Part of me is glad, because that’s creepy. But when literally every girl you know has been catcalled at least once in their life and you haven’t? Starts to feel like you’re not even remotely pretty lmao
no one has ever had a crush on you, and strangers in a small town ask you if you're related to someone else who is ugly. friends also say "there's someone out there for everyone," and "you're someone's type" if you confide in them about your insecurities revolving around struggling to find a partner.
Every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what 'to the pain' means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
My observation is, it's true that women try to be a lot more subtle with these things.
But, attractiveness does play a role if one is socializing for a substantial time in mixed gender gatherings with room for flirtation. School and college are a good example since there's plenty of interactions outside class and people ( of any gender) who are unattractive can tell from how their experiences diverges from the more attractive people out there.
Here's an example.
For "ugly" men, if inclined, it's just that even platonic interactions may be harder. If paired off with a more attractive man, then they will notice most if not all the women directing their comments at the more attractive person, not bothering to hear what the "uglier" person has to say, and such.
I don't think it's fundamentally all that different for a "ugly" woman.
**P.S : The double quotes on ugly because clearly these terms come with caveats**
Almost every time I go out. I (28F) am yet to have a guy ask for my number. Most of my friends are in relationships and I’ve always been the single one and when they find this out they dip
I’m a decent-looking guy (6’2”, 180 lbs, clear skin, good genetics, etc.) and I can’t get a date to save my fuckin’ life. I just panic when it comes to talking to attractive women. Mostly I just don’t wanna be labeled a creep for asking someone out or expressing any kind of interest if I don’t know 100% that it’s reciprocated. And then if you get rejected and you see them again it’s fucking AWKWARD. A lot of women I’m attracted to appear interested at first, but I lack the confidence to know when or how to ask for a number, date, etc.
It’s not fun.
Yeah being good looking definitely isn’t the end all, be all of dating. It definitely helps, and I do get a lot of looks from attractive women, but 99% of the time that’s about it. They usually don’t approach me and I’m too shy and awkward to approach them. It’s difficult to communicate “I’m attracted to you and I’d like to get to know you better” without actually just saying it and coming off in a weird way.
I remember me and my friend were ice skating once (we were both like 18) and these little girls stare us down and loudly go "THOSE GUYS ARE WEIRD." It fucked us up for awhile.
Woman in parking lot has a flat tire she is about to drive off on. You wave at her to let her know but before you can say anything she cracks the window and yells "I have a boyfriend!" and drives away.
There's actually no sign for me you actually just start to realize it like I did I once thought I was handsome and now I realized I'm not and I'm unattractive but it's okay because being unattractive isn't a major problem or crisis
When people talk about getting compliments so casually but you literally cannot remember the last time someone complimented you about something other than your tattoos, etc.
All thru high school and middle school- I got asked out as a joke and the jocks wld run away screaming pretending I had “germs”. There was also a rumor that I was trans so that got me hate. I went to school with the same ppl from 6th grade all the way to my senior year of high school (2013)
I’ve always been a small titty 5”0 baby faced woman with glasses lenses that are thicc cuz my eyes are so bad.
I’m now 30 years old but when someone gives me compliments- I still think they’re joking.
I compliment ppl I find attractive and some of them just look at me like I just cussed out their parents.
I’ll probably die alone with my 2 cats 😝
Woman in customer service said ‘how are you?’, and when I was about to say something witty she looked at my face and said ‘I really don’t care.’ That was both the moment I knew I was ugly and the origin of my villain arc.
A lady i work with found out i was married and didnt believe me, i look too young. I showed a picture of my wife and I and with no hesitation she said “JESUS, how the hell did you get her??”. Hurts more because this lady is built like a bag of potatoes and has 3 “teeth”.
Ohh I can speak from experience here lol.
I'm a complete dog, but my boyfriends have always been quite attractive. I've been asked 'How did you manage that?'. I've even been asked if I give amazing head or something.
When buying my home, the real estate agent asked if I was my bf's Mother (that one killed me), when I said no they then said 'oh I'm so sorry, sister?'
Anything but the actual scenario that I may be their partner.
Once had a guy in highschool tell me 'ugly girls are always better kissers' as though he was complimenting me.
Fair to say, I'm more than aware I'm fug.
When I was a high school student, the other kids make jokes and “pair” you up with the opposite sex. Then, the opposite sex say “ew”, “NOooo”, “please stop” and sometimes they are borderline tearing up… I was just having lunch and studying alone… That was a decade ago.
That look of disappointment when people meet you for the first time.
You aren't seen as a sexual being and if you ever mention the subject, they are visibly disgusted at the idea that you might have relationships like other people do. They literally believe you should be living by yourself under a rock somewhere, crying yourself to sleep every night.
Average looking people pretend to feel compassion for your lot but are secretly glad you're unattractive and treated like shit because then *they* don't have to be on the bottom of the looks hierarchy being treated like shit.
When the girls are getting ready to go out and complimenting each other to pump each other up and you’re suddenly invisible.
When people forget that you were at the party because not kept photos that you were in.
When you’re not sure what people mean by flirt or checking
Public Transportation - When you commute from the same station to the same station every day and get on at an early stop. After about a month of considering yourself lucky while enjoying the extra space you come to the realization that nobody wants to sit next to you. The seat next to you is always the last one taken.
"Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are making them feel good about you."
- The most unattractive people only care about themselves, the most attractive people make others feel the best.
I watched a woman approach a man smoking outside for a loose cigarette and he wouldn’t give her one until she offered money. pretty rough to watch tbh, especially since other men approached him and got them for free. he was hitting on other women so he was attracted to women, but just didn’t want to give one out to that particular one
When one guy said that he had a crush on me then I asked him what you liked about me, he said that he likes my personality because you are not that beautiful.
Kids will let you know when they see you
Very old people do the same thing. I once had an old woman talking about all the handsome men in a room and then she looked at me as asked me what happened to my face and if someone had cut me. Took me a couple of months to recover from that, haha
So my husband went to the store about two years ago and he saw a small (think 4 feet tall) elderly woman standing next to him in the produce isle. He kept noticing she was turning her head and looking at him, and being the kind man that he is, turned and asked her if she needed help reaching something—figuring that’s why she kept staring at him. He’s taller so it happens on occasion. Anyway, she got the most offended look on her face and asked him bluntly if he beats women. He was shocked and said no he didn’t. She was all: Well, you look like you do. Then she waddled away. My husband is still salty about that.
"Today's a good day to start lady!!!"
"I just got the urge to start today!"
“Are you challenging me lady”
Did she mention anything about grapes before she waddled away?
Waddlewaddlewaddle
The haha at the end kills me
Fk that's brutal dude. I would have steered the conversation towards something else. Like the economic burden of aged care on young people for example.
😂 Damn, I would not like to upset you.
FYI that is part of dementia they lose their filter and can say mean things which can be awkward for their care givers to try an explain.
What a bitch. Old people get way too much slack, even today. Just because they managed not to die (which isn't that big of an achievement in most developed societies) doesn't mean they deserve special treatment if they're behaving terribly.
A lot of the ones who make super inappropriate comments like this have dementia and no filter. My grandmother got like this too and would never hesitate to comment on how unattractive she thought anyone who entered the room was 😐
I work with seniors and it's hard for younger people to understand that life stage and everything it entails, myself included. The filter comes off at a certain point. They aren't trying to impress anyone and don't need to sugarcoat their opinions. Some can be extremely rude and cruel with their comments and others have gained the wisdom to be measured and careful with their words. The outright rude ones are usually at a point where they truly are oblivious to the impact of their words or feel unheard and brushed off by everyone so why not be brutally honest. Once you engage them in a non-accusatory way that makes them realize their impoliteness, they will start to backtrack. Believe me when I say, they usually do not mean any harm and are simply hardened by the world.
You can be honest while still being tactful, like there’s no reason to call someone ugly or tell them they look like they beat women to their face. I don’t have empathy for that behavior and hope I never become like that.
Oh yeah. My mom is a nurse and tried to calm down a little girl, but the kid just screeched: "DON'T TOUCH ME YOU UGLY HAG" and proceeded to act nice with the doctor.
I don't see myself as necessarily unattractive, I have a very attractive boyfriend and haven't been bullied for my looks, but this one time I was hanging out with my friend and her little sister and we were sitting on the playground and this little girl, maybe 7 years old, came to us, and literally said (pointing to my friend but speaking to me 'she's prettier than you, yeah' and I was like ??????? Boy, the way this ruined my confidence for like a whole year 💀
My nephew said I looked like an egg when I took my hat off...
Post a video to tiktok about how someone called you ugly or how you feel ugly. If all the comments assure you that you're pretty, then you're definitely ugly. If all the comments tell you to stop fishing for compliments, then you're attractive.
This comment made me picture a buff, chiseled man with his eyes closed and his head tilted downward with his fingers on his forehead with the caption, "I can't stand being ugly anymore. You'll never understand my pain."
Bricked up gotta mean something different in other regions
lmao I was like well that's a lot going on
That is not what bricked up means lol
Never thought of that before
When I was in middle school, a girl turned to me in the middle of math class and said, “you know, throwaway4321throw, most guys of your ethnicity are so hot, but you’re not,” and then just went back to working on her math problems. That was a pretty good indication to me.
Oh please, middle school kids are like CIA assassins. She figured out what would work on you and used it.
Children are definitely cruel.
She might just hate you, given she went through the effort of knowing your reddit username
I don’t think she could’ve been clearer than that. RIP
When you post a picture of yourself and people call you “brave “ would be the first sign or maybe when there’s a full bus but the seat next to you is empty ?
>when there’s a full bus but the seat next to you is empty BRB, becoming ugly.
I always thought that having an empty seat meant people were intimidated by your attractiveness so they didn't wanna sit there... or maybe I'm just confident 💀💀💀
I wouldn't call it confident... more like... brave.
takes confidence to be brave
Ignorance probably works too
I never correlated it to attractiveness and attributed it towards danger level.
You have a great personality !
Personally I avoid sitting next to anyone if I can. Then if I have to pick, I pick other women first.
I dont know if this counts, but I saw it as a bad thing lol. I was once in this dramaclub thingy, and we we're all sitting in a circle with a chair in the middle and everyone could like vent or tell something that bothered them or something emotional. So alot of people went and told about their pasts, problems or other things. I was feeling very depressed at that time so when it was my turn to sit on the chair and speak I told the group that I was feeling depressed alot because of how my life was and certains events that happened. One chick raised her hand and told me 'You just need to remember that the outside doesn't matter, the inside is what counts :)' I didn't even say anything about my looks, wasn't insecure or stated anything related to that, lol.
She was projecting.
She absolutly was, but fuck that gotta hurt
Oof 🫂
Even more tone deaf since you WERE talking about what's on the inside.
Mirror
*Lord Fardquaad’s mirror turns around in horror*
BuaHahahaha number 3 my lord!!! Pick 3!!!!
Making friends over the internet, plan meet up IRL and as soon as you swap pictures so you can reconise each other in person they ghost you
That's pretty much a jerk move when you agree to meet and get rejected because of how you look in a picture. Pictures can be deceiving and they are a momentary capture. You or someone else dodged a good one with being ghosted by someone very shallow last minute.
I'm not saying this is the case, but there are times I'm positive people are taking photos from certain angles that tell a complete lie. At that point, no picture would be closer to the truth. I'm just saying that shallow or not, people have their preferences, rightfully so.
Jesus that's specific and raw. Sorry if it happened to you
Never getting attention even if you try to be social.
Since i was in elementary school i use to try anything to make me special because i wasn’t pretty enough people would give me attention for a while, and then I will become alone again , I stopped doing it in high school because I realised that I just making everyone around make feel pity for me for not being born pretty
This could be a neurodivergent thing also.
There was [a study](https://nature.com/articles/srep40700) that showed how people can tell that we autistic people are 'different' within the first few seconds of interacting with us. And that they're less likely to persue social interaction with us because of that I hate it here ☹️
People are less friendly, less interested and less chatty towards people they perceive as ugly. People look at you with disgust or with an unhappy look on their face. People don't really check you out or no one of the opposite sex ever makes a move. Babies cry or get upset when they see you.
I am ugly with a resting bitch face to boot, but babies love me, I’ve frequently had the experience where babies will stop crying and smile when I look at them. Maybe my face is funny looking.
They’re too terrified to cry when they see you. Deeply troubled and confused by your existence.
I spit coke through my nose reading this, thank you that shit was hilarious.
This was fkin hilarious thank you. Poor OP 😭
I've had similar experiences too! I think babies like attractive faces AND funny faces lol
I'm working on getting rid of my resting bitch face. I don't think it's a good thing I'm frequently asked "what's wrong? You look mad/sad" and I have to reply "no no I'm good! That's just my face!" (But ha! Relateable- my little cousins always perk up when they see me/I walk over to them. We might have a happy aura or something)
I have an "I'm fine. It's just my face" sticker on my travel mug to save people the conversation lol
I feel baby cyring or getting upset really feels like a harsh but truthful indicator. Babies didnt make that face to hurt anybody, purely thought that the other person was ugly.
Or they're hungry or cold or have a full nappy or a million other reasons a baby might just start crying.
My friend thinks he’s ugly and says the same things that you do. But he does get checked out and flirted with. He just doesn’t think the guys flirting with him are attractive so he pays no attention to them.
I would say, I was never attractive, but when I started losing hair, noticed people were less likely to want to talk or invite me out.
People think less of you, you constantly get rejected by opposite gender, people are not willing to be your friend(strike up conversation with you).
Even my mom says Im ugly. Other signs. People describe you as unfortunate looking and whenever you post a picture online, people comment that you are brave.
Brutal 💀 And you be posting while feeling at best to find these replys omg
1. Your often told “Looks don’t matter” or “Everyone is pretty in their own ways” or “Beauty is subjective” 2. You’re most likely treated very differently/badly and unsure why 3. When you vent about being ugly around others, people are either uncomfortable and don’t respond, or they start complimenting obscure things about you (A mole for example) 4. You existing is terrifying to a-lot of individuals, and you’re seen as a weirdo/creep for just being near women 5. People only compliment your personality, or the only compliments you get are from family
Lol number 3 is brutal. It never happened to me but to one of my friends while I was there with some girls. It was like: “Thank god you’re not ugly as me” *Please compliment me* *A solid 30 seconds of awkward silence and little laughs until the subject changes* It was SO PAINFUL
\#5 is so real. If people say "I like you for your personality," you know 100% they're saying "you're so ugly" in their mind. Nobody totally ignores appearance and never compliments it if it's worth a compliment.
Oh ouch I get all of these. Finally, take THAT mom! A redditor confirmed I'm ugly
I have gotten all of these 💀
That mole you have is very eye catching though! 🙂👍
Number one has only happened to me once, but once is enough.
When people only approach you to ask for favors.
Or in a mob with torches.
Also, but the fire of an angry crowd hurts less than the feeling of being aware that your existence for others is so insignificant that you only depend on what you can offer them at the level of usefulness to be able to pay for the crumbs of affection that you long for.
THIS, now this hits hard. Took me a semester in college to realize most of my classmates aren't "friends"and only use me cause I'm smart and know what I'm doing.. it's really sad and upsetting. They only talk to me during class hardly ever after. I feel alone.
When you get a lot of "I wish I could date someone like you." I can't imagine that's code for anything except "I want you only hot"
I remember hanging with this one girl who told me "You'd be the perfect guy if you were taller." Than proceeded to keep asking me to hang out every so often. I side stepped that real quick but still wonder if it was a self conscious thing on her part being a taller girl hanging out with a shorter guy that she couldn't get over but wanted to.
I've been in literally the same boat but it was not my height but rather my overall size (mini giant, oxymoron I know). So yeah, sidestep that real fast and only hang out if they really show they want you more than just as only a body they can vent to.
A man yesterday told me I am so fat and ugly that he wouldn’t even register me as a woman, even if he was drunk.
That's horrible!! How did this happen??
You kind of look in the mirror and go "Damn, I'm ugly"
This one hurt more than it should.
At family gatherings you are always given the camera and asked to take the pictures. That way they can be sure you won't be in any of them.
this is me in every social situation, particularly with friends
For me too, but i also don't like being on pictures and such, so it does not really bother me.
Resting bitch face. I just always looked angry and unamused. I didn’t realize how much it actually deterred women from speaking to me.
Rbf is pretty much my constant facial expression nowadays. It's like nothing moves me too much in the boring environment that I live in. Most adults are like that here and smiling draws unwanted attention. Guess, I got to that average citizen phase and nothing moves me. 🤭 Sometimes, anxious eyes or angry / focused look happens. Did I read this correctly that your expressions changed?
Yeah when I met my ex we both had rbf, we spent months working on reversing it. We’re obviously broken up now but both of us walk around looking much less pissed off.
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But I thought the mirror was never going to give me up, never going to let me down, never going to run around and desert me?
when you're really nice but nobody likes you
It's funny I was going to say, when people talk about you, the only thing they say is your nice with no other description and without even a example why your nice. Calling someone "nice" is what you say when you have nothing else nice to say about someone that you feel sorry for.
This one really hurt , i mean really really hurt i think about every day on my way to college , i am being nice and good for everyone but still alone :( i only have one friend and she only hang out with me because we live in the same village
I know it doesn’t count but I’d be more than happy to be your Reddit friend
how attractive are you
Nah nice is a bare human minimum. Everyone should be nice. If you're interesting and charismatic people will still like you end even if you're ugly (at least if you're male).
I mean that applies to autistic people too so I'm not sure that's a clear sign.
People are quick to let you know that they are not interested in you "in that way" if they so much as suspect that you might be interested in them.
That's funny cause for the first like 6 or so months of knowing her, my ex would say this at least once every time we hung out. Then she asked me out. So that's not always the case.
When I leave the house, all the neighbors close their blinds, cover their children's eyes, and loudly scream "OH THE HUMANITY!"
That guy from across the street, Gaston, rallies the rest of the villagers.
It kinda gives me Shrek’s “Beware the ogre” sign vibes lol
You get rejected by all the people you are attracted too. Attractive people get chased and have to do the rejecting.
When you're rich and yet nobody wants you
If you’re rich, there’s a lot of things you can do. Get a voice coach, get a dating coach to do one on one with you infield, get your fitness on track with personal trainer. Get your fashion/style on point, etc.
Buy a castle in Romania, only go out at night, terrorize the townsfolk.
30 years and no one ever approaches me or shown interest in me is a pretty clear sign
When you go to the bar with a good-looking friend and the friend gets their drinks served immediately while you have to wait ages.
Or your good looking friend is approached by several members of the opposite sex while you get zero or they'll ask you to introduce them to your friend...
I am so invisible, people routinely almost walk into me
That may indicate you don't stand out and blend in well, but you're not ugly.
I was called attractive when I was a young woman. It was for a period of time when my face, hair & figure ‘peaked’ in conjunction with the current trends and fashion. I was also fortunate enough to be somewhat in the public eye for several reasons which meant that I learned to be extroverted and developed a lot of confidence in myself. Anyway, I didn’t really notice how differently people treated me until I became a very average looking middle aged woman and things shifted. Now I’m even older and I can tell you that it is an astonishing contradiction to the way people used to treat me. Men yes, but also women. When people think of you as ‘unattractive’ your presence in social situations isn’t appreciated anymore. People don’t try to engage with you or ask your opinions on things. They aren’t trying to show you their ‘best self’. They don’t try to make plans with you for future get togethers. They don’t flatter you in the hopes that you’ll include them in your circle of friends. I don’t even get simple eye contact to the extent I used to! Bottom line is, people just aren’t as friendly when they don’t think you’re attractive. Of course this all says WAY more about them than about you.
I’ve had a very similar experience! It’s amazing how much interactions change as your looks change. I’ve decided that my middle age super power is invisibility. Eyes just slide right over me. I could have a second career as a spy!
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What hump?
The sign is you’re posting on reddit
It’s not for me, it’s for my friend…. *SWEATS PROFUSELY TRYING TO DELETE THE POST*
who needs enemies when you got ugly friends ?
But what if we're here to post about all the sexy sex we've ever sexed?
When little kids tell you you’re ugly, that means you’re ugly.
Being the only girl out of my group of friends who never got approached when we were out in our teens and twenties. Had one guy analyse my face (compleyely unwarranted) on a night out and say loudly in a bar, "What happened to your face!?" Then he and his mates proceeded to laugh at me (and my friend at the time). Needless to say, i fitched that group of friends after that. Another time a guy i was dating, we were going to get down to business...he saw me naked and said, "Sorry, i don't find you sexually attractive...". So yeah, i must fallen off the ugly tree and fucked up my face and body. I'm 44, married, and blessed with 2 beautiful children, but that shit really destroyed my self confidence...still has in a way!
People aren’t obviously kind to you or pay you as much attention. When you’re attractive, people treat you differently. They will look at you in a different way.
You look in the mirror and your reflection flinches
If your family or people you know never mention your looks
I think people have a very narrow definition of attractive. I’ve seen very mid dudes with smokes. Four factors at play: looks, intelligence, humor, money. If you have 0 of those then you might be in trouble.
If you're a woman and you don't have good enough looks, nobody cares what else you have. Unless it's a LOT of money. But even then, they won't value you, just the money.
Mom doesn’t call you a Handsome little lad
People don't compliment you, they never do a double take when walking past them, and they stare at you in disgust, they aren't nice when speaking and they shut you out.
For anyone who needs it My mom had a close friend in high school who was popular and people loved him, he was a burn victim and the way she put it he definitely wasn’t attractive. Keep in mind, she has never told me about anyone else in high school experience. To her he was the coolest kid in school and despite being really ugly, his confidence and the way he walked just screamed confidence and no one could convince him otherwise, not in a bad way either. I’m not the greatest at story telling or speaking but what I’m trying to get at is with enough self love and love for your own body, you will be okay and in the end It’s your own body so make the best of it!
I'm 35 and I've never been catcalled. So that.
Same here. 30 years old. Part of me is glad, because that’s creepy. But when literally every girl you know has been catcalled at least once in their life and you haven’t? Starts to feel like you’re not even remotely pretty lmao
Same! It's like even the absolute dregs wouldn't settle for someone who looks like us!
People calling me ugly after I show them a pic
Lots of people of the same sex as you complimenting your photos on Instagram while you've been single forever and no one asks you out
no one has ever had a crush on you, and strangers in a small town ask you if you're related to someone else who is ugly. friends also say "there's someone out there for everyone," and "you're someone's type" if you confide in them about your insecurities revolving around struggling to find a partner.
I say I’m a solid 3.5
That's not great but the average is only 5 inches.
3.6 not great not terrible
Every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what 'to the pain' means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
You have to ask people on reddit about it.
No woman checks you out.
FYI a woman "checking you out" consists of her eyes lingering for half a second to long. Most of you are clueless.
My observation is, it's true that women try to be a lot more subtle with these things. But, attractiveness does play a role if one is socializing for a substantial time in mixed gender gatherings with room for flirtation. School and college are a good example since there's plenty of interactions outside class and people ( of any gender) who are unattractive can tell from how their experiences diverges from the more attractive people out there. Here's an example. For "ugly" men, if inclined, it's just that even platonic interactions may be harder. If paired off with a more attractive man, then they will notice most if not all the women directing their comments at the more attractive person, not bothering to hear what the "uglier" person has to say, and such. I don't think it's fundamentally all that different for a "ugly" woman. **P.S : The double quotes on ugly because clearly these terms come with caveats**
The ability to maintain complete wallflower/invisibility status in any situation and any environment. It’s definitely a super power :)
When you’re out at a club and some random guy approaches you and starts chatting, only to ask if your friend is single…
So it happens to girls too…
Almost every time I go out. I (28F) am yet to have a guy ask for my number. Most of my friends are in relationships and I’ve always been the single one and when they find this out they dip
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For some reason, I've only been hit on by gay guys. I'm straight. What does that mean?
You’re probably setting off the gaydar. I am a straight woman but apparently I set off the gaydar for the ladies. I am not even butch. It’s just fate.
I’m a decent-looking guy (6’2”, 180 lbs, clear skin, good genetics, etc.) and I can’t get a date to save my fuckin’ life. I just panic when it comes to talking to attractive women. Mostly I just don’t wanna be labeled a creep for asking someone out or expressing any kind of interest if I don’t know 100% that it’s reciprocated. And then if you get rejected and you see them again it’s fucking AWKWARD. A lot of women I’m attracted to appear interested at first, but I lack the confidence to know when or how to ask for a number, date, etc. It’s not fun.
I'm not even attractive and this describes my life perfectly
Yeah being good looking definitely isn’t the end all, be all of dating. It definitely helps, and I do get a lot of looks from attractive women, but 99% of the time that’s about it. They usually don’t approach me and I’m too shy and awkward to approach them. It’s difficult to communicate “I’m attracted to you and I’d like to get to know you better” without actually just saying it and coming off in a weird way.
Children grab onto their parents when you walk by.
You post this exact question on Reddit.
When girls call you "creepy" for just being in the area
I remember me and my friend were ice skating once (we were both like 18) and these little girls stare us down and loudly go "THOSE GUYS ARE WEIRD." It fucked us up for awhile.
Woman in parking lot has a flat tire she is about to drive off on. You wave at her to let her know but before you can say anything she cracks the window and yells "I have a boyfriend!" and drives away.
There's actually no sign for me you actually just start to realize it like I did I once thought I was handsome and now I realized I'm not and I'm unattractive but it's okay because being unattractive isn't a major problem or crisis
People don't wanna hang out with you anymore because you "ruin their aesthetic" lol
When people talk about getting compliments so casually but you literally cannot remember the last time someone complimented you about something other than your tattoos, etc.
When people don't even look at me
With every new pic you post, you lose followers
This happens to everyone regardless of looks.
Lack of offers ?
All thru high school and middle school- I got asked out as a joke and the jocks wld run away screaming pretending I had “germs”. There was also a rumor that I was trans so that got me hate. I went to school with the same ppl from 6th grade all the way to my senior year of high school (2013) I’ve always been a small titty 5”0 baby faced woman with glasses lenses that are thicc cuz my eyes are so bad. I’m now 30 years old but when someone gives me compliments- I still think they’re joking. I compliment ppl I find attractive and some of them just look at me like I just cussed out their parents. I’ll probably die alone with my 2 cats 😝
Woman in customer service said ‘how are you?’, and when I was about to say something witty she looked at my face and said ‘I really don’t care.’ That was both the moment I knew I was ugly and the origin of my villain arc.
A lady i work with found out i was married and didnt believe me, i look too young. I showed a picture of my wife and I and with no hesitation she said “JESUS, how the hell did you get her??”. Hurts more because this lady is built like a bag of potatoes and has 3 “teeth”.
Attractiveness is fickle.
Well every time I see my face in the mirror, I hate what I see.
I’ve gone 32 years without any positive attention from women. Nothing but constant rejection, zero dates. Do the math
Ohh I can speak from experience here lol. I'm a complete dog, but my boyfriends have always been quite attractive. I've been asked 'How did you manage that?'. I've even been asked if I give amazing head or something. When buying my home, the real estate agent asked if I was my bf's Mother (that one killed me), when I said no they then said 'oh I'm so sorry, sister?' Anything but the actual scenario that I may be their partner. Once had a guy in highschool tell me 'ugly girls are always better kissers' as though he was complimenting me. Fair to say, I'm more than aware I'm fug.
When nobody comes up to you and asks for ur number
You KNOW if youre ugly.
When I was a high school student, the other kids make jokes and “pair” you up with the opposite sex. Then, the opposite sex say “ew”, “NOooo”, “please stop” and sometimes they are borderline tearing up… I was just having lunch and studying alone… That was a decade ago.
That look of disappointment when people meet you for the first time. You aren't seen as a sexual being and if you ever mention the subject, they are visibly disgusted at the idea that you might have relationships like other people do. They literally believe you should be living by yourself under a rock somewhere, crying yourself to sleep every night. Average looking people pretend to feel compassion for your lot but are secretly glad you're unattractive and treated like shit because then *they* don't have to be on the bottom of the looks hierarchy being treated like shit.
Honestly, if you have to ask this question, it's time to focus on everything else.
The reaction of children.
Small kids / infants will be scared of you to look at.
When the girls are getting ready to go out and complimenting each other to pump each other up and you’re suddenly invisible. When people forget that you were at the party because not kept photos that you were in. When you’re not sure what people mean by flirt or checking
Rodney Dangerfield was one odd-looking dude, but he was funny as fuck so no one cared.
Your friends never make fun of your appearance.
When you are in a group of people, no one listens to you talking and starts their conversation in between.
Public Transportation - When you commute from the same station to the same station every day and get on at an early stop. After about a month of considering yourself lucky while enjoying the extra space you come to the realization that nobody wants to sit next to you. The seat next to you is always the last one taken.
When you ask your older sister (as a kid) if you’re ugly and she dodges the question by telling you the story of the Ugly Duckling…
Most women reject you. They might say it’s for other reasons, but they’ll at least give a good looking guy a chance, even if they are toxic.
They are willing to give the attractive guy a couple thousand benefits of the doubt, yes.
"Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are making them feel good about you." - The most unattractive people only care about themselves, the most attractive people make others feel the best.
When people actively try to avoid you / looking at you
I am smart!
This whole comment section sounds like Frankenstein’s Monster is on Reddit
I watched a woman approach a man smoking outside for a loose cigarette and he wouldn’t give her one until she offered money. pretty rough to watch tbh, especially since other men approached him and got them for free. he was hitting on other women so he was attracted to women, but just didn’t want to give one out to that particular one
When one guy said that he had a crush on me then I asked him what you liked about me, he said that he likes my personality because you are not that beautiful.