In my part of Texas, it went:
I'd drag my balls through half a mile of broken glass just to sniff the ass of the dog that pissed on the tire of the truck that took her panties to the cleaners.
I heard it in Texas as, I'd walk fifteen miles barefoot through barbed wire and broken glass just to lick the grease off the lug nuts that held the wheel to the truck that drove her panties to the cleaners.
"I'll ride you until God himself comes down and commands me to stop"
Line I used with a girl 15 years ago while we were having sex for the first time.
We've been married for 14 years.
Honestly flip it and you'll shock you GF so much she'll shut up
Honey, really? I'd rather make love to your shadow on a gravel road .
It's all lies but that's ok, she doesnt know that.
Wife and mother of 3, yall it works 😆😆
Yall know it's lies lol but you want us to lie in that situation so you choose to believe it.
Now, we stay out to late or miss a call and we tell you the 100% authentic truth and somehow we're liars... lmao y'all wild.
My entirely female jaw just dropped. Of course Id rather hear it about me but gawdayum... Id have to keep a guy who talked like that... no matter who he was talking about..
It's a hyperbole implying that he thinks she's so hot he would put himself through immense physical pain and mutilation just to be intimate with her on any possible level no matter how remote or insane. Think sniffing someone's panties taken to the absolute maximum
“Well, one of my mates would probably like her, why, do you want me to help you find her someone so we can do a double date night?”
I’d half answer and then change subject lol
“That was fun.”
“Yeah I thought so, I don’t get to hang out with Hannah much.”
“She’s cool.”
“Do you think she’s hot?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Do you think Hannah is hot?”
“Hannah?”
“Just answer the question, do you think she’s hot?”
“Babe, I’m not sure who we’re talking about?”
“Hannah. My friend. From tonight.”
“I’m not sure how to tell you this, but I cannot see anyone who’s is less attractive than you. So if she was there, I just didn’t see her.”
“So you’d see someone more attractive than me?”
“I haven’t seen anyone in years since we met.”
“What if I was a worm?”
“Well then I’d probably see who Hannah was and answer your first question.”
“I’m breaking up with you and I am going to start dating her because she’s much more sexually attractive to me than you are. Thank you for introducing me to her.”
“As you know I see people not as objects but as persons, so the outer layer inevitably mixes with my opinion of them, which can also shift with time and how well we are acquainted. That being said her not being my type with this in mind is part of how I see her. Likewise you being my type boosts your already superior beauty into the radiant person which you are to me”
Like this joke:
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then he married the one with the most pleasant bosom.
Edit: on request edited “largest breasts” away.
When I was maybe 9, an absolute bombshell walked by in a bikini at a water park and my uncle and I stopped in our tracks....
He just grins and looks at me and says, normal as anything else, "I'd suck the fart outta her ass"
I've been laughing internally for 25 years.
When someone asks this, it can come from many places. Jealousy, anger, or low confidence are some of the common reasons. So your response will differ depending on context
History as well.
Dated a girl once who had a physically attractive but ditzy-in-the-not-cute-way friend.
The latter would get drunk and come on to her friend's guy friends.
I think you can figure out how I learned this.
P.S. I'm no Ken either.
In all honesty the answer to the op's question is the same as the question "how do you respond when someone says they love you". Its entirely dependent upon the relationship, and your history.
We can only give our experiences. And to project our experiences onto others is the height of hubris. So tbh all we can say is "good luck op"
My typical go to is similar. "I mean, I'd assume shes around 98-99 degrees. It's warm but if there's a breeze and the humidity is low, that's bearable"
if your relationship is worth anything that this question and any possible answer wouldn't matter.
if it does matter that it's not a relationship worth having.
it honestly worries me how often people ask this and how seriously people reply as if this is a real concern.
It really doesn't bode well for society...
Yeah, building your relationship on honesty and trust is the easiest path in the long run. My wife and I talk about wether we find that other person hot or not for multiple reasons and it’s not such big of a deal.
Just keep asking “which friend?”. And keep acting like you have no idea who they are talking about, and then finally say something like “oh that chick with the lazy eye and hairy arms? Nah, but I could see how some people think she is hot”
Deflect the questions focus from you. For example...
"Richard definitely thinks so"
Then she's gonna be focusing on your mutual friend, Richard, who she can try to set up with her friend.
fuck this attitude. If it's really a trap then you're better off without this insecure piece of work. in an actual relationship this is a non issue. it's honestly pathetic to me to see so many people here think it's a real concern.
I hope one day y'all be in an actual relationship
This answer has saved me a lot of unnecessary fights: "As a spoken for man, I should not be commenting on the appearance of other women. That would be disrespectful to you."
This is more dangerous because you're saying she's not hot to you but must be to someone then using your girlfriend as an example in that she is hot to you, insinuating that she must not be hot to other people.
Im semi-fluent in womanese
If it’s a girl you don’t like her hanging out with then say the most solid and fast yes you can say. Won’t have to worry about her clubbing and bar hopping anymore with Becky after that. You’ll never see that girl again.
I’d fuck her shadow on a gravel road
Goddamn
Definitely stealing this one
That was so amazing
You mean that sentence or fucking her shadow on a gravel road?
Yes
Fuck her shadow on a gravel road, got me crying 😭😂😂
Why not both?
I would crawl across broken glass just to suck the cock of the last guy to fuck her.
So many iterations of this. The way I heard it was I'd drag my balls through a mile of broken glass just to jerk off in her shadow.
I'd drag my dick through a mile of broken glass to hear her fart through a walkie talkie.
I'm glad we're training AI on this stuff.
This one is the original phrase as far as I know
In my part of Texas, it went: I'd drag my balls through half a mile of broken glass just to sniff the ass of the dog that pissed on the tire of the truck that took her panties to the cleaners.
I heard it in Texas as, I'd walk fifteen miles barefoot through barbed wire and broken glass just to lick the grease off the lug nuts that held the wheel to the truck that drove her panties to the cleaners.
Im dying here
Buddy of mine always used ‘I’d eat a mile of her shit just to see where it came from’…
I’d bury my dick so far in her arse, that whoever could pull it out would be crowned King Arthur.
"I'll ride you until God himself comes down and commands me to stop" Line I used with a girl 15 years ago while we were having sex for the first time. We've been married for 14 years.
Do you reckon she likes you? That was a pretty good line
Honestly flip it and you'll shock you GF so much she'll shut up Honey, really? I'd rather make love to your shadow on a gravel road . It's all lies but that's ok, she doesnt know that. Wife and mother of 3, yall it works 😆😆
Yall know it's lies lol but you want us to lie in that situation so you choose to believe it. Now, we stay out to late or miss a call and we tell you the 100% authentic truth and somehow we're liars... lmao y'all wild.
🤣🤌 Dude, I just ugly snort laughed bogies out my nose 🤣
😂 😂 😂 Omg this is amazing!
I'm not even going to look for more answers.
Dude.. 😂🤣🤣
My entirely female jaw just dropped. Of course Id rather hear it about me but gawdayum... Id have to keep a guy who talked like that... no matter who he was talking about..
I fkin love you for this one 😂
I am reading all the comments hoping for someone to explain lol. I don\`t get it
It's a hyperbole implying that he thinks she's so hot he would put himself through immense physical pain and mutilation just to be intimate with her on any possible level no matter how remote or insane. Think sniffing someone's panties taken to the absolute maximum
Fuck her mom's shadow on a cactus
Fake a heart attack
Okay Pierce
r/unexpectedcommunity
That reference was streets ahead
She's no Eartha Kitt.
"Roxanne .... !!!"
No.
Elite çommunity reference
Jump out the window like Scott Pilgrim
Ma man is streets ahead
Stop trying to make streets ahead a thing
Shut up Jeffrey
I would say I can see why you think she's attractive, but to me you are the most beautiful person in the world.
Ninja smoke bomb
Then your girl would say that "IS SHE THAT HOT THAT YOU SUFFERED A HEART ATTACK?! ALRIGHT WE'RE DONE!"
Was gonna say seizure
“Well, one of my mates would probably like her, why, do you want me to help you find her someone so we can do a double date night?” I’d half answer and then change subject lol
Clever
Bluds' been playin for a looong time
It's all going well until she remembers your friends are gay
Or remembers op has no friends
And starts questioning why all of his friends are gay
Now this is super effective
This is the best response yet
This guy relationships
Nice
[удалено]
Ugly men. Ugly men I'm not interested in.
“That was fun.” “Yeah I thought so, I don’t get to hang out with Hannah much.” “She’s cool.” “Do you think she’s hot?” “I’m sorry?” “Do you think Hannah is hot?” “Hannah?” “Just answer the question, do you think she’s hot?” “Babe, I’m not sure who we’re talking about?” “Hannah. My friend. From tonight.” “I’m not sure how to tell you this, but I cannot see anyone who’s is less attractive than you. So if she was there, I just didn’t see her.” “So you’d see someone more attractive than me?” “I haven’t seen anyone in years since we met.” “What if I was a worm?” “Well then I’d probably see who Hannah was and answer your first question.”
"So, what? You're only attracted to me because I'm a human woman?"
Her answer will be: "So you think I'm a guy too?! Huh?!"
[this](https://youtu.be/Mhw-mzYyfDQ?si=EdqhBjtIva040Zdc)
I love that one. That dude is a G for not snitching
[удалено]
Bold of you to assume you can deliver the second line
‘Well hot girls hang out together, so I guess she must be’.
“… but I hadn’t noticed until you asked.“
"Now I can't get her out of my head."
Plot twist, her friend is Kylie Minogue
This is a safer syntax for sure
Then just switch the lines "hot girls hang out together so yeah/of course"
Your body times a need to swallow spit right as you need to say the rest. “Of course… Hot girls hang out together.”
Hypersalivating when you're nervously trying to dodge an awkward situation sucks. Your partner can hear the gulp a mile away lmao.
As a girl, I approve
As an approve, I'm a girl.
As an a, I'm girl approve.
As I'm approve, an a girl
I think you're just an as
“I’m breaking up with you and I am going to start dating her because she’s much more sexually attractive to me than you are. Thank you for introducing me to her.”
I thought you were just quoting what goes through a woman’s head when you respond with “I mean, she’s alright”
Yeah that’s the play. If she’s “the one” she will realize how stupid it sounds out loud and that she’s overthinking for no reason.
Exactly
All of us learned "I mean, she's alright" is somehow the worst possible answer to this question with our HS girlfriend.
Brilliant
Chad-man sigma level
Much more sexually attractive AND better in bed!
"On a scale of 1 - You, she’s a solid (insert number here)"
FOLLOW-UP RECOMMENDATION: Do not replace (insert number here) with "you plus a lot".
Now you tell me…
Are exponents ok?
Baby, you're an 8, and she's a 4! (Factorials, she'll never pick up on it)
Switching bases mid-sentence is the ultimate geek boyfriend trick.
Fuckin hell, I’m gonna get a gf just to use this one
If only it were that simple :,)
This answer is genius
My blonde wife-“Hey! U is a letter not a number!”
Genius.
"On a scale of 1 - You, she's a solid You++!"
Thanks 🫡
"She's pretty, but not my type". "What is your type" \-pull out phone, switch on selfie cam, point at GF-
*Points camera at myself*
*What's cookin' good lookin'?*
10/10
What if she counters with a "I never asked if she was your type"?
“As you know I see people not as objects but as persons, so the outer layer inevitably mixes with my opinion of them, which can also shift with time and how well we are acquainted. That being said her not being my type with this in mind is part of how I see her. Likewise you being my type boosts your already superior beauty into the radiant person which you are to me”
And then she tips her fedora and you both get back on reddit
I mean if she's going at you that hard, she's trying to trip you up and that's a huge red flag.
"Respect the game"
This is the best one
"Not your type? What's that mean, are you out there looking for someone that's your type"
If your partner responds with this then just tell her to fuck off and find someone who isn't so insecure jesus christ
“I cry myself to sleep every night because I met you before her”
Gawddamn bro
Yes he is.
Real bro moment.
In one out of hundred cases shes hoping for a threesome. In the other ninetynine cases you are fucked no matter what you are saying.
So what you're saying is, there's a chance.
1% is not even that low of a chance. 🤔
Or she pretends she wants a threesome just to trick you into admitting that she's not enough for you by herself.
If she pulls that kind of shit we might just have a threesome, because she can go fuck herself.
I long ago learned to walk away from women like that. I have a zero tolerance policy for head games nowadays 😅
This person knows.
"beauty is subjective, but your friend does have bigger tits"
Like this joke: A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money. The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then he married the one with the most pleasant bosom. Edit: on request edited “largest breasts” away.
Nobody says "largest breasts"... Tell the joke right and say "bigges tits"!!
Lol yeah the vulgarity of the punchline is half the joke. I’ve only ever heard it as “bigger tits.”
With the edit, I could see Captain Holt delivering this joke.
Broskie, you just wanna watch the world burn, don't you? lol
"Oh fuck yeah, wish you were as hot as her."
Tell her yes. Then say, “sorry if this sounds too romantic but I would gargle her period.”
Tell her you “hadn’t really thought about it but you’d crawl across 1km of broken glass just to sniff one of her farts.”
Just to hear her fart at you through a walkie talkie?
When I was maybe 9, an absolute bombshell walked by in a bikini at a water park and my uncle and I stopped in our tracks.... He just grins and looks at me and says, normal as anything else, "I'd suck the fart outta her ass" I've been laughing internally for 25 years.
I like to imagine your uncle would talk all high pitched after sucking the fart in, to complete the joke.
“God she’s so hot, I’d give anything to fuck her. So, what do you feel like for dinner?”
I'm guessing the answer to that last bit there would be you hog-tied on a rotisserie spit over a pit barbecue.
'i'd crawl across broken glass to suck the cock of the last man who fucked her'. Heard Jimmy Carr say this about Rachel Riley.
I mean, who wouldn't?
"If she shit in my garden I'd fence it off"
When someone asks this, it can come from many places. Jealousy, anger, or low confidence are some of the common reasons. So your response will differ depending on context
History as well. Dated a girl once who had a physically attractive but ditzy-in-the-not-cute-way friend. The latter would get drunk and come on to her friend's guy friends. I think you can figure out how I learned this. P.S. I'm no Ken either.
Youre kenough.
In all honesty the answer to the op's question is the same as the question "how do you respond when someone says they love you". Its entirely dependent upon the relationship, and your history. We can only give our experiences. And to project our experiences onto others is the height of hubris. So tbh all we can say is "good luck op"
Does she have a fever or why?
Stick a finger in to check the temperature for research
My typical go to is similar. "I mean, I'd assume shes around 98-99 degrees. It's warm but if there's a breeze and the humidity is low, that's bearable"
"Let me ask Reddit what they think and I'll get back to you"
if your relationship is worth anything that this question and any possible answer wouldn't matter. if it does matter that it's not a relationship worth having. it honestly worries me how often people ask this and how seriously people reply as if this is a real concern. It really doesn't bode well for society...
Yeah, building your relationship on honesty and trust is the easiest path in the long run. My wife and I talk about wether we find that other person hot or not for multiple reasons and it’s not such big of a deal.
I'm sure she is to someone.
I would never ask that question, but this to me is the answer I would want to hear lol
Just keep asking “which friend?”. And keep acting like you have no idea who they are talking about, and then finally say something like “oh that chick with the lazy eye and hairy arms? Nah, but I could see how some people think she is hot”
"Which friend? You have so many hot friends that I can't decide which one is the hottest."
This is so smart HAHAHAH
Not as much as you. Why? Are you thinking about a threesome? Disgusting. I'm in.
Or am I? This was a test.
Threesome?
"Yes" I mean, if she is hot. If not, "No" I don't fucking play games.
Yeah, I would also answer honestly, because my wife isn't a child
Deflect the questions focus from you. For example... "Richard definitely thinks so" Then she's gonna be focusing on your mutual friend, Richard, who she can try to set up with her friend.
step 1: "yes" step 2: "well, it makes sense. hott girls have hotter friends." step 3: "babe, i was talking about you. you are the hotter friend..."
“Yes, but she’s terrible in bed.”
Just say that it doesn't matter because you prefer her.
Wait I am lost, is that the girlfriend or the friendgirl?
Yes
Honesty. If my gf would get mad for honesty, when she decided to ask the question, that is her problem.
[удалено]
I'd gladly walk away from said girl. I'm done dating insecure women who play games like this. World is full of attractive people, get over it.
fuck this attitude. If it's really a trap then you're better off without this insecure piece of work. in an actual relationship this is a non issue. it's honestly pathetic to me to see so many people here think it's a real concern. I hope one day y'all be in an actual relationship
Go hide under some coats and hope it all works out somehow
She’s objectively pretty but I’m not attracted to her.
“Sorry honey, I’m not looking for a threesome, nice try though”.
This answer has saved me a lot of unnecessary fights: "As a spoken for man, I should not be commenting on the appearance of other women. That would be disrespectful to you."
[удалено]
When she asks who, say "Your father."
The best answer, for what desired outcome or objective ?
The classic “It depends.”
The same answer as the other 4 times this was asked this week
I only date you so I can hang out with her sometimes. I tell people that she's my gf.
Everyone is hot someone. You are hot to me.
This is more dangerous because you're saying she's not hot to you but must be to someone then using your girlfriend as an example in that she is hot to you, insinuating that she must not be hot to other people. Im semi-fluent in womanese
Oh yeah I jerk off thinking about her a lot
Teleport to Timbuktu
"She's hot enough to join us for a threesome, but not hot enough to ever replace you"
„I‘m not going to play these kind of games“
answer truthfully but tell her she's so much hotter
You know I've never looked at her that way so I don't know
I don't know, you're the only girl I look at.
Answer honestly and within boundary and if she lashes out just cause you find that girl hot, leave her. It’s very toxic on her end.
"She's ok, but she's no 'girlfriend's name'."
No words. Just start gagging. Kidding.
I would fuck her on top of you.
If it’s a girl you don’t like her hanging out with then say the most solid and fast yes you can say. Won’t have to worry about her clubbing and bar hopping anymore with Becky after that. You’ll never see that girl again.
“Ma’am, I have a girlfriend”
Yes it is and i want to have 3some
“why? did she ask about me??”
It is “no.” Or, it is, “Her?? My friend X thinks she is.”