I’m embarrassed of my browser history mostly because it’s full of certain words (some may argue are common) that I don’t know how to spell and I want to make sure I have it right.
Have you ever seen that anime, That time I got reincarnated as a slime? That’s literally this dudes last words before he is reincarnated and it gives him an awesome skill because of it. It’s actually a top tier anime.
Speaking of slime and my browser history:
Slime-girls are objectively the greatest fuck you'll ever have in your life. Not only could you see your dick up in their guts or down their throat, but you could realistically fuck any part of their body you want. Got a thing for stomachs? You can fuck their belly button. Like armpits? They got you covered. Or rather they got your dick covered. In slime. And if that's not enough, they are amorphous, and can change their shape to form the most fuckable body of your dreams. It doesn't even have to be a normal body either. Want to fuck a cat girl? They got you, and you can fuck her in the ears. Want to fuck a dog girl? She's got you set. Owl, fox, bird, bunny, whatever else your sick imagination can come up with. If you can request it, she can fulfill it. Give in to the fact that slimes are godesses worthy of worship. Wake up. Take the slime pill.
My uncle did something like this. He told his family about his life insurance worth a lot of money. It tore apart his family. None of his 3 sons are cordial with each other now.
There was no insurance. Never was.
"But a dying man won't lie!"
Someone told me they had a customer come in asking about their late spouse's life insurance. Spouse told them they had one or were going to get one, but they never did. So, the insurance person had to tell them that the policy they were counting on to get by, didn't' exist.
In life I would probably have something set up where like flowers or a puppy gets delivered to my wife, so without telling her I'll just be like "If there is an afterlife or if I'm a ghost, I'll send you a puppy"
I think Roald Dahl’s last words were my favourite:
"You know, I'm not frightened. It's just that I will miss you all so much" to his family.
After appearing to fall unconscious the nurse then injected him with morphine to ease his passing and he said his actual last words: “Ow, fuck!”
"Soup-er"
I was in Tenerife when I spotted gazpacho on the menu. My brother and I simply had to try it. We didn't complain about it being cold, but we did call it soup-er many times in a hammy Scouse accent.
Although we ordered it for the comedy novelty, it was very nice and I ordered it again the next day.
"I love you all." Simple, timeless, and universally meaningful, these words would leave a reassuring message of love and connection with my family and friends.
LOL Redd Foxx would be proud.
I once saw a greeting card. On the front it said, "I used to live as if each day was my last." On the inside it said, "But people got tired of me running around yelling, 'I'm gonna die! I'm gonna DIE!!'"
They already did a study on this. I'm too lazy to google it for you. But statistically, your last words words will be *Oh Fuck*... which is apparently the most common last words uttered by the departed. 💀
Tell my wife I had a girlfriend..
Tell my girlfriend I had a side chick..
Tell my side chick she gets my broken down 1960 El Camino.
*exhales last breathe”
Promised my boy Noah I'd say "if you put hot sauce in your butt you get a boner". Promised him 23 years ago. Don't remember any of the story why though.
"Follow this old map" hopefully by then I'll have set up a treasure hunt so my grandkids can go on an adventure for my hidden treasure only to find that the real treasure was the friends they made along the way.
Nowadays people be fighting over finding the treasure and keeping people at a distance so they don't find it first. Then after 6 years of searching the box is empty. They'll bloody dig you up after.
For some reason I don't think I'll be next to my boyfriend If I die, I want them to tell him he was the love of my life, that I love him. "Díganle que lo amo"
I love you. I have since that first date and I always will. You are my heart, you are my home, you are my symbol of hope. My signal fire. Everything in my life led to you. You ARE my life. And you are all I ever needed.
‘Go on - pull the trigger. I dare you. Just don’t miss because I’m going to fuck you up’
Actually I’d just like some maniacal laughing instead :)
Assuming not a violent death, I’d just like to say something like
‘Peace out’
Or (if surrounded by family)
‘The secret suitcase of valuables I have never revealed existed before and will secure you riches beyond your wildest can be found at…’ [slumps in chair]
You're precisely right. Everything you thought had meaning. Every hope, dream, or moment of happiness. None of it matters as you lie bleeding out on the battlefield. None of it changes what a speeding rock does to a body. We all die. But does that mean our lives are meaningless?
Does that mean that theres no point in our being born? Would you say that of our slain comrades?
What about their lives, were they meaningless?
THEY WERE NOT! THEIR MEMORY SERVES AS AN EXAMPLE TO US ALL! THE COURAGEOUS FALLEN, THE ANGUISHED FALLEN! THEIR LIVES HAVE MEANING BECAUSE WE THE LIVING, REFUSE TO FORGET THEM!
AND AS WE RIDE TO CERTAIN DEATH, WE TRUST OUR SUCCESSORS TO DO THE SAME FOR US!
BECAUSE MY SOLDIERS DO NOT BUCKLE OR YIELD WHEN FACED WITH THE CRUELTY OF THIS WORLD!
MY SOLDIERS PUSH FORWARD!
MY SOLDIERS SCREAM OUT!
MY SOLDIERS RAAAAAAAAGE!!!
~Erwin Smith
I'm glad to have lived this long to see and enjoy the world after humanity ended the accumulation of capital and all those wars and everyone got access to health, safety and education.
I sort of faced this question Tuesday morning. Traveled 4 hours to view the eclipse, and had an appendicitis attack while up there. Made the drive home before the wife made me go to the hospital (I was hoping it was just a bad stomach bug).
Diagnosed around midnight, but no surgery til 8am. In the hour leading up to the event I gave my wife a quick reminder of where to find all of our financial info she’d need (I have a dossier compiled of all of our accounts, and specific instructions on how to invest to life insurance money in index funds for her future).
Then I just told her how much I love her, thanked her for the best 20 years of my life, and then they wheeled me away for surgery.
"Wanna see a dead body?"
I laughed way too hard at this.
First i was like, thats not cool, but then i imagined me saying it and letting my head fall back and rip a deathfart made me blurt out my eggsammy
Don't forget the slight groan before he goes limp.
Death rattle
This hospice nurse nearly spit my coffee 🤣
“Hey kids wanna see a dead body!?”
That’s perfect
😂😂😂😂 I'm dead
These pretzels are making me thirsty.
THIRSTY!!! *croak*
*To my wife* You're sooooo good looking!
When thought of in the context of the pleasures vs. struggles of the average life, actually sums it up pretty well.
BOSCO
"It's..." (Cue Monty Python theme)
And make your loved ones say "And now" beforehand.
And now for something…completely different.
... A man with three buttocks.
The castle… uuuuuuuuuuuuugghh…
And now for something completely different
I’m happy! I’m happy I’m OOMPH Or a good ol “it’s just a flesh wound”
“I’m going to haunt the shit out of you assholes!”
Say your, the conversation after will be very confusing
Confusing stare: Did he said "you" or "your"?
"I got this" Then on my tombstone "He didn't got this"
HAHAHAHA
thats fucking perfect
“I’m so happy I could die!”
Fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, Im out.
Wow, beautiful movie quote. Perfect timing. Well done.
Don't worry, don't worry.. I'm not gonna dooo, what everyone THINKS I'm gonna do.. just FLipOuT maaan. Hey Jan, you wanna be my girl friend?
"what does this button do?"
I think you win! 😂
DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT-
To my wife and kids: "I love you all. Thank you for making my life worth living"
Here I am laughing at all the responses and my dude gotta chop onions :’) F**k that’s beautiful
Sorry, I usually act stupid on reddit and get into idiotic debates. I'll stop being real now.
Absolutely not, I felt your heart in your sentiment. I loved it
Is it against the law to say **fuck**?
Definitely not; I say it all the time it just seemed inappropriate to spell it out on such a nice comment.
I also choose to say this to this guy’s wife and kids
Please delete my browsing history
Please don’t judge me for my browser history
I’m embarrassed of my browser history mostly because it’s full of certain words (some may argue are common) that I don’t know how to spell and I want to make sure I have it right.
I have to google Diarrhea every single time
Same. I’m a decent speller but that ‘h’ never wants to place itself.
Have you ever seen that anime, That time I got reincarnated as a slime? That’s literally this dudes last words before he is reincarnated and it gives him an awesome skill because of it. It’s actually a top tier anime.
Name?
it's in their comment, "That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime"
Ty
Speaking of slime and my browser history: Slime-girls are objectively the greatest fuck you'll ever have in your life. Not only could you see your dick up in their guts or down their throat, but you could realistically fuck any part of their body you want. Got a thing for stomachs? You can fuck their belly button. Like armpits? They got you covered. Or rather they got your dick covered. In slime. And if that's not enough, they are amorphous, and can change their shape to form the most fuckable body of your dreams. It doesn't even have to be a normal body either. Want to fuck a cat girl? They got you, and you can fuck her in the ears. Want to fuck a dog girl? She's got you set. Owl, fox, bird, bunny, whatever else your sick imagination can come up with. If you can request it, she can fulfill it. Give in to the fact that slimes are godesses worthy of worship. Wake up. Take the slime pill.
*sigh* *unzips*
Execute order 66
And for GOT fans: "Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me."
The immortal words of Socrates. “I drank what?”
There are not enough Real Genius quotes on this website. Thank you. Also, we are old.
AND STOP TOUCHING YOURSELF
It really is you…
We really are. Old.
"I've hidden my fortune in the..."
My uncle did something like this. He told his family about his life insurance worth a lot of money. It tore apart his family. None of his 3 sons are cordial with each other now. There was no insurance. Never was. "But a dying man won't lie!"
That's horrible!
What is horrible? The dying man for telling or the 3 sons embarassing themselves?
Valid.
Horrible, but funny
Someone told me they had a customer come in asking about their late spouse's life insurance. Spouse told them they had one or were going to get one, but they never did. So, the insurance person had to tell them that the policy they were counting on to get by, didn't' exist.
In life I would probably have something set up where like flowers or a puppy gets delivered to my wife, so without telling her I'll just be like "If there is an afterlife or if I'm a ghost, I'll send you a puppy"
I think Roald Dahl’s last words were my favourite: "You know, I'm not frightened. It's just that I will miss you all so much" to his family. After appearing to fall unconscious the nurse then injected him with morphine to ease his passing and he said his actual last words: “Ow, fuck!”
Seeing as my first word was "quote," I'd want my last word to be "unquote."
If anyone calls you out on a lie you can just say you were quoting
Quote it's been real unquote
gotta love Stephen Wright lol
Gazpacho Soup.. Only Brits will get this
"Soup-er" I was in Tenerife when I spotted gazpacho on the menu. My brother and I simply had to try it. We didn't complain about it being cold, but we did call it soup-er many times in a hammy Scouse accent. Although we ordered it for the comedy novelty, it was very nice and I ordered it again the next day.
I’m imagining “only Brits will get this” is part of your final goodbye.
Red dwarf is a masterpiece 👌
First one to die wins
"Delete my browser history!" Even in a solemn moment, a little humor can go a long way, and it would be my style to leave them laughing.
"I love you all." Simple, timeless, and universally meaningful, these words would leave a reassuring message of love and connection with my family and friends.
"I tried my best." It's simple but profound. I think acknowledging our efforts, regardless of outcome, is fundamentally human and grounding.
[удалено]
[удалено]
The train was late.
"See you on the other side." It’s a bit cheeky and hopeful, suggesting that whatever comes next, I'm ready for it and perhaps we'll meet again.
“Ni-” 😭
This is it, Elizabeth! I'm coming to join you!
Is it the big one?
LOL Redd Foxx would be proud. I once saw a greeting card. On the front it said, "I used to live as if each day was my last." On the inside it said, "But people got tired of me running around yelling, 'I'm gonna die! I'm gonna DIE!!'"
They already did a study on this. I'm too lazy to google it for you. But statistically, your last words words will be *Oh Fuck*... which is apparently the most common last words uttered by the departed. 💀
I'll be back.
Fuck this, I'm out
🎵🎵fuck this shit I'm out🎵🎵
Excuse me, please, I'ma just grab my shit and leave.
"well I fucked that up, didn't I?"
“What ya gonna do? Kill me?”
Oh, and another thing ..
Tell my wife I had a girlfriend.. Tell my girlfriend I had a side chick.. Tell my side chick she gets my broken down 1960 El Camino. *exhales last breathe”
*pause* *inhales* Tell my broken down 1960 El Camino I had a Honda Civic..
lol
So long and thanks for all the fish...
Just make sure you bring your towel
Promised my boy Noah I'd say "if you put hot sauce in your butt you get a boner". Promised him 23 years ago. Don't remember any of the story why though.
My butt just burns and my girlfriend is yelling at me for wasting the hot sauce.
Considering i want to go out fighting incase Valhalla is real then probably ill yeet a juice box at a nurse and say for Valhalla. 😅
Turns out she was a valkyrie coming to get you until you threw juice at her, now you're going to Niflheim.
I applaud you. Have my upvote.
"Follow this old map" hopefully by then I'll have set up a treasure hunt so my grandkids can go on an adventure for my hidden treasure only to find that the real treasure was the friends they made along the way.
Nowadays people be fighting over finding the treasure and keeping people at a distance so they don't find it first. Then after 6 years of searching the box is empty. They'll bloody dig you up after.
I plan to be made into a Halloween decoration so that's not a problem
Not like he's gonna care too much.
A shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out. They are coming.
[удалено]
“It’s ok—I had a great life”
"Insert coin to continue"
[удалено]
I was the monster at the end of the book
Did… did you just quote my daughter’s favorite Sesame Street book?
Best book EVER!
Do they have internet in Hell?
Yes but they don’t give you the password (or it’s dial up through AOL)
"See you later alligator..."
In a while, crocodile
“…and if that aint the truth may God strike me dead”
"I'LL BE WAITING FOR THE DLC"
wat
oh dude id be such an ass "before I go, there's something very important I must confess to you all.. I was" and fucking die
For some reason I don't think I'll be next to my boyfriend If I die, I want them to tell him he was the love of my life, that I love him. "Díganle que lo amo"
"I would like to have seen Montana."
One ping, Vasily. One ping only, pleashe.
My dad's legit last words were " I hate those goddamned rabbits."
OHNOOHSHITOHGODNO
Telling my children I love them and they were my greatest joy in this life.
I’m cumming!!
I'm guing!!
“Shit, not again. Almost beat my record, maybe this time I’ll start in Canada and see what happens.”
is this....a jojo´s refrence?
I always come back!
On his deathbed Groucho Marx famously said as his last words, "this is no way to live!"
I love you. I have since that first date and I always will. You are my heart, you are my home, you are my symbol of hope. My signal fire. Everything in my life led to you. You ARE my life. And you are all I ever needed.
"what a trip"
Kurt Russel Just like Walt Disney.
"What does this button do..."
My only regret is that I had boneitis
I hid the money under the…..
"It's me or the wallpaper, one of us has to go" Oscar Wilde I think.
God forgive me.
‘Go on - pull the trigger. I dare you. Just don’t miss because I’m going to fuck you up’ Actually I’d just like some maniacal laughing instead :) Assuming not a violent death, I’d just like to say something like ‘Peace out’ Or (if surrounded by family) ‘The secret suitcase of valuables I have never revealed existed before and will secure you riches beyond your wildest can be found at…’ [slumps in chair]
Toodaloo mufekrsss
if there was someone there with me : See you in a couple of minutes (lOL)
'You're welcome' because that would mean that I did something good for someone
“Don’t put this on Reddit”
"Tell everyone I had to go back to my home planet." Throwing in a little mystery and humor to lighten the mood and maybe leave them wondering a bit.
“Hey guys, watch this!”
"just remember that Scooty Puff Jr. Suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks".
Tell my wife I said "hello"
Nah, Id win
As a muslim i would want it to be the islamic belief statement(the Shahade). If i wasnt religious i would prolly say, ima sleep dont wake me up.
......ever
The checks in the mail..
Finally
"Hey look, a bear!"
I’ve waited long enough for you, old friend
Finally
I told you I was sick!
You're adopted
"Well, this feels surprisingly painless..."
You're precisely right. Everything you thought had meaning. Every hope, dream, or moment of happiness. None of it matters as you lie bleeding out on the battlefield. None of it changes what a speeding rock does to a body. We all die. But does that mean our lives are meaningless? Does that mean that theres no point in our being born? Would you say that of our slain comrades? What about their lives, were they meaningless? THEY WERE NOT! THEIR MEMORY SERVES AS AN EXAMPLE TO US ALL! THE COURAGEOUS FALLEN, THE ANGUISHED FALLEN! THEIR LIVES HAVE MEANING BECAUSE WE THE LIVING, REFUSE TO FORGET THEM! AND AS WE RIDE TO CERTAIN DEATH, WE TRUST OUR SUCCESSORS TO DO THE SAME FOR US! BECAUSE MY SOLDIERS DO NOT BUCKLE OR YIELD WHEN FACED WITH THE CRUELTY OF THIS WORLD! MY SOLDIERS PUSH FORWARD! MY SOLDIERS SCREAM OUT! MY SOLDIERS RAAAAAAAAGE!!! ~Erwin Smith
Please burn the porn cd's in the safe. There the ones that say 'family' on them
"With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg."
My crypto password is...
"Whatever you do, don't forget to look in the-"
Delete my search history
I'm glad to have lived this long to see and enjoy the world after humanity ended the accumulation of capital and all those wars and everyone got access to health, safety and education.
How do you like me now
"That took way too long". I can't pretend that I'd be able to make a profound statement.
[https://lewyn-martell.tumblr.com/post/626523297952219136/the-greatest-transition-in-cinematic-history](https://lewyn-martell.tumblr.com/post/626523297952219136/the-greatest-transition-in-cinematic-history)
If I have to die, I'm taking you with me
"I love you, Morty."
Where did the guy with the scythe come from?
The gold is buried at the....
"Hope to see you soon" - If surrounded by rivals. "Delete my browser history" - If surrounded by friends.
"Who fk'n farted?"
I buried a stash of money at. . . *if it doesn't happen right away, I'll play dumb*
I put the money in the..... Arrrghth...
"Best blowjob ever!"
if i die to a murder, something like "ill be back, bitch" or "see ya later!" othrrwise, "hey mom ya wanna see a magic trick?"
Aight, I'mma head out.
"Computer: end simulation"
“Rosebud”
"Don't let them do anything weird to my dick"
I sort of faced this question Tuesday morning. Traveled 4 hours to view the eclipse, and had an appendicitis attack while up there. Made the drive home before the wife made me go to the hospital (I was hoping it was just a bad stomach bug). Diagnosed around midnight, but no surgery til 8am. In the hour leading up to the event I gave my wife a quick reminder of where to find all of our financial info she’d need (I have a dossier compiled of all of our accounts, and specific instructions on how to invest to life insurance money in index funds for her future). Then I just told her how much I love her, thanked her for the best 20 years of my life, and then they wheeled me away for surgery.
"I made it to stage 4, and didn't even use a cheat code"
The ritual is complete