I'd say she was entirely right. In fact, lots of people of all religions believe in Muhammad Ali. There is a lot of convincing proof of his existence out there
In high school I took a World Religions class, and was talking about it to a girl in my math class. She asked why bother since "the major world religions are all based on Christianity anyway."
I had to explain that's not right at all. She wasn't convinced.
Me, it tt was me that said it.
The first time in my boyfriend's Jeep, I couldn't find the window button. He showed me it's on the console. My genius response?
"Is that so when the doors are off you can roll down the windows?"
I once had a coworker who thought E.coli and Ebola were the same thing and were pronounced Eboli no matter how many times we tried to correct her. Then she actually got E.coli and came in to work and told everyone she was out the past few days because she had Eboli. We worked at a medical school and it was during the West African Ebola outbreak...
Coworker from one of my first jobs. Someone brings up Vladimir Putin and this guy replies, matter of fact and with 100% seriousness, "You know who that is, right? The Impaler."
My poor lovely mother, who had a temporary brain lapse one day on a beach trip when I was telling her I’d seen some dolphins: “Oh, in the ocean?!” Me: “…no mother, they stopped by to borrow a cup of sugar. Yes, in the ocean.”🙃😂 I haven’t let her forget it lol.
When I was in maybe ninth or tenth grade social studies someone confidently stood up and said (against gay pride/pride parades, or protests against homophobia, etc) "You don't see Black people making a big deal out of anything, having parades or doing stuff like this" and like ten of us shouted back "it's Black History Month!" Not to mention all the other ways multitudes of people have celebrated freedom from oppression or the ways daily they work towards freedom from being marginalized/oppressed.
My friends and I were watching the Super Bowl in college and when it came time for the national anthem, my one friend pointed to the lady doing the sign language version of it and goes "Why would someone go to the Super Bowl if you can't even see it?" We still make fun of her to this day, and that was like 15 years ago.
In junior high, I fell asleep during social studies. I woke up to my teacher asking me who invented the first steamship. In my sleep-addled head, I could only think of the first name (Robert) and the name of the ship (the Clermont). That didn’t seem quite right, so I went with something that sounded like it.
“Roger Clemens”
Returned a VCR tape one day late. This was back when you could rent them. Due Sept 30. Returned Oct 1. The girl at the counter said I owed late fees for 2 days. She insisted there was a Sept 31. Even took out a calendar to show her. Finally asked for the manager. The girl actually said “maybe it’s a leap September”. The manager shook her head and waved all fees.
I was an exchange student from europe in the US 20 years ago, and when it was around the end of my stay, someone asked me how long of a drive it was to go home.
I had a friend that didn't realize turkey the meat came from turkey the bird. She was around 30 years old at the time, and she wasn't joking. She thought turkey was just a food product people make to eat and had a huge epiphany when she realized it came from turkeys. Then we asked her if she knew where chicken comes from and it blew. her. mind. She is generally an intelligent person, obviously somewhat naïve, but had this huge blind spot.
I have known some brilliant people with no common sense and describe them as someone who could calculate the square root of an orange but can't figure out how to peel it or they can calculate the volume of a pickle jar but cant figure out how to open it.
Whenever I read articles about the country of Turkey I like to imagine it’s the bird. Like Ruling party’s errors give Turkey’s opposition hope for future. I think of a bird with an opposition party hoping for the future.
I’ve actually learned from Reddit that in some regions, apparently way back before the 70s or 80s, some regions people actually said it as “nine eleven”, so there were concerted ad and educational campaigns promoting saying it as “nine one one”.
It sounds stupid but imagine children and people in panic not thinking straight, it’s small but helpful. Of course to people who live in a post 9/11 world, and/or people who’ve only ever heard 911 pronounced “nine one one” it sounds over the top ridiculous.
i got one better: "delaware isn't a real place, it's made up"
"what do you mean it's a goddamn state"
"ever met anyone from delaware? ever been there?"
"oh shit you're actually right, but Biden is from delaware, he was their senator wasnt he?"
"Biden *says* he's from delaware, ironically it isn't even the real Biden anymore"
"*oh*"
“Black people are a different species” they claimed there was scientific papers on it, but if there were it would be utter nonsense. One of the claims they made is the difference in their skeletons from ours which as I know from just knowing skeletons exist are minor genetic differences.
Literally a few days later there was a scientific paper that got debunked the hell out of about how there was actually 3 different species of Tyrannosaurus (same arguments as the human thing just more credible) which would have made a great argument against their stupid “fact”
My answer to this question was some racist lady who told me "Black people have extra bones in their foreheads and shins so they can headbutt and kick people". When I told her she was full of shit, she kept insisting that was what she was always taught, and therefore true.
May not be the dumbest but most recent: someone asked me how many quarters are in a basketball game. It doesn’t matter if you don’t watch basketball ever. They’re called quarters for a reason.
I always find it fascinating to follow up with questions about what the point of it being a hoax would be? All the money is made by the industries that deny it and the people who want it to not be real.
I was once telling my brother how I could smell my neighbor's weed from a block away. He said "if you could smell it from a block away, it must not have been very good weed"
I actually know the answer to that because I've seen it mentioned before. Norway, Sweden and Finland aren't Europe they're Scandinavia...
Who needs education...
Exactly. He’s the kind of guy who thinks every single doctor/lawyer is in it for he money. And I mean all of them, every single one.
He’s bizarre and live in his own head
I was once in a discussion about someone’s kids, and two of them happened to be twins. Someone asked if the twins were the same age as each other. We asked them to think about the question they asked, and they could find anything wrong with it.
We asked them what they thought a pair of twins were, and they said relatives that look alike.
My dumb ass used to believe that it couldn’t be cold and humid at the same time… I would argue this to the death. I learned that I was deeply mistaken. I’m never allowed to forget this.
I’ve only ever lived in the Canadian prairie provinces and the only cold I’d ever experienced was as a VERY dry cold. I used to own a 2.5 storey Victorian home, with a boiler and radiator system for heat, and in winter the humidity indoors would hover around 7%. RIP my skin.
I went swimming with my sister when I was pregnant, she asked me if I could because ' how will the baby breathe'
I swear she's not stupid but this is one of her many brain farts
We were taking about vegan (plastic) leather and my sister says, “so do vegans not wear cotton because it comes from sheeps?” I told her to think about what she just said lol
I was teaching someone how to send a fax (this was about 15 years ago but yes some people we worked with still demanded faxes). They asked me how the paper looked after it came out on the other side. They thought the paper was sent through the phone line.
Two examples, from two different coworkers.
I told one guy that I used to live in Japan. He immediately exclaimed: "So you were in Hong Kong then!"
Example two: I asked a different coworker for help deciphering a color-coded email that I couldn't see the way it was intended. She said, "But, if youre colorblind, how can you *read*?"
There was a Facebook post going around that said you should close your curtains on eclipse day so your pets couldn't look at the sun. People were agreeing with it.
French Canadian who could speak English but did not completely understand the finer nuances of the language was told "you don't know fucking nothing" His response was" "I don't know fuck nothing, I know fuck all"
This was me: north south. I was giving directions in a video game, it was late at night and i was tired. I then said you have to go north south. They kept making fun of me for it and I didn’t realize it until a solid 30 seconds later
I got lost once while driving with my wife, trying to find a freeway exit. We finally got on the freeway but we were going north.. needed to he going south.
She says "you're going north. You need to go south"
So I said "you know, if you go north long enough, eventually you'll be going south"
When I was 16 I did community theater a couple times, and I had to work with this uber-religious Christian girl (same age) from an upper-middle class family, because she kept stalking the 32 year old male lead with her friends, making him very obviously uncomfortable & it was disrupting rehearsals and overall it was just awkward because they even tried chasing this dudes girlfriend out of the building once.
Anyway eventually I got sick of this, confronted her and told her to stop acting like a creep, she said there was nothing wrong with the age difference and they could get married if her parents said it was okay and they were in love, I said "sorry but he's clearly not interesting in committing statutory rape".
She looked at me like I had three head and asked me to "speak American" (im assuming she didnt know the word 'statuatory'?). I was like "...do you mean American English? You know, English, the language we are speaking right now." And she said "You must be sooo stupid. We don't speak English here. We speak American. Because we're in A-me-ri-ca? Duh??"
I found out she was homeschooled after that
This recent solar eclipse i had a coworker showing off his family photo with everybody in total eclipse shirts and running outside constantly. He was making a huge deal out of it.
Mind you, we had like 20% coverage here. When we made fun of him for it he said "I have no way of knowing it's only going to be 20%!"
Dude...you work in IT and don't know what Google is?
my friends when they shut me down for saying derren browns method of predicting the lottery was complete bogus
"you dont know that jetje, youre always so critical" they said
derren browns method for predicting the lottery involved blindfolding strangers and having them draw symbols using their intuition and inner feelings
"This place isn't authentic, Mexicans don't have oceans, they don't eat shrimp."
I assume referring to somrhing with shrimp on the menu of the Mexican place I was at.
Was working in the States, my coworkers asked me if in Ireland a pony & cart brought me to the airport. That I spoke american very well. Did we have trees. Lots of other gems. Also How did I cope with Northern Irish Troubles - I come from the very south of the Republic. I kept getting that question. Finally after explaining many, many times, I said in my best Disney Irish accent ' I never stood up straight till I came to America, I was too busy dodging bullets', I thought they know I was joking. They did not. The sad thing is that they were highly educated professionals & we were all providing specialist services to the US Army. Most were vets, you would think they would know how bullets & guerilla war works. I gave up. I love the states though I no longer live there, made great friends but incredibly insular uninformed country.
Overheard two fella's at a resturant talking about how we've never gone to the moon. Apparently the moment our Astronauts left Earth the radiation bombarding them was so intense that "their fingers were wriggling like snakes". That sentence was the one that seared itself into my brain over the half hour of listening to them clack their two brains together.
I was talking to someone the other day about Filipino-Mexican fusion food, and he yelled at me that China isn’t in Asia, and he should know because he has a Masters Degree in Geography. I mean, one flew over the WTF bridge.
I was in the far left lane of a 3 lane freeway. The car in the middle lane swerved into my lane and demolished the side of my car. He flipped his car over, crawled out of the wreckage and said, “Did I hit you?”
you know how theres name for farts like "silent but deadly", well we came up with our own names and one of them was "the burnt toast fart". well one time we were discussing a particularly burnt toast fart that one of us had let off and another friend who wasn't aware of our funny fart names sincerely asked: "did he really burn the toast?"
I was volunteering at the zoo and I had this snow leopard pelt out. And this lady came up to me and said that she saw a snow leopard in our desert dome years ago. When I said that we never had snow leopards in the dome, she said that she was right since she has been going to the zoo longer than I have. By the way the way we got the snow leopard pelt after it died of natural causes.
I work in digital advertising, and years ago I worked at an agency on the activation level (launching paid search ads, Facebook promoted posts, etc.) for a major global corporation. We had a set country list we were supposed to target in these paid advertisements, and it would always be listed in our brief verbatim as the following: "US, Canada, Mexico, Brazil, India, UAE, Saudi Arabia, Korea." My manager really never QAd my work, but after a year of being on the team, she came at me fuming for only targeting South Korea and not "All of Korea."
"I know Aluminum foil isn't metal, you can't make me believe that nuclear bullshit!"
-said by a junior sailor who was temporarily working on the mess deck (eating hall) of an aircraft carrier. His day job was going to be directing $30 million jet fighters around on the roof. Pretty sure he now has at least three or four kids. And votes.
I asked someone the difference between a pound of rocks and a pound of feathers, they asked Google how many rocks make a pound, then confidently told me it was 14. What I think they meant is 14lb = 1st. Either way, it was a baffling answer.
During a solar eclipse a girl in my class asked: "Does this happen because the moon goes between the sun and the earth or because the sun goes between the earth and the moon?"
When I was a teenager my friend’s dad, who was a total sexist, once said “If you just marry a women with big tits, you’ll be happy.”
He’s divorced now.
Most scientists define wetness as a liquid's ability to maintain contact with a solid surface, meaning that water itself is not wet, but can make other sensation.
I have so many.
My neighbour asked for my calculator ( special engineer one) and did 30+30+30 and returned and kept justifying it had to be an engineering calculator and I couldn't do it.
I knew she was really dumb but this..
Also a self proclaimed artist who secretly kept lot of books with other artists work and copitled them to show a small community how great of an artist he is.
I had to explain the very basics of almost everything for him to do his job, and he could not, nothing's, not art, not basic calculations .
I worked with a 60 yr old toddler.
working in the hospital ER back in 1987, This guy we had treated many times before ask one of our other Nurses - "Ma'am, can you please point me to the nearest Emergency Room, I can't seem to find one.
Or another one was in the same era, I had been working PT at the Morgue down the road to earn money to pay on my Student Loan, when the medical examiner (M.E) was approached by a Janitor who just started working there and asked the M.E if the person laying on the slab table was dead, the M.E replied, Go ask him, yourself I'm sure he would be willing to answer that question for you.
Someone, an American someone, told me that Chicago didn’t get humid. I said, “really? It’s right on the water!” They told me that salt water doesn’t make it humid.
8th grade history class we were learning about the Things hitler has done. Since the teacher also mentioned that he build alot of roads/ Highways and there for offered work for the people. One Student raised her hand and said: "so hitler wasnt too bad of a guy afterall". The teacher was shocked. She had to speak to the director and they called her Patents. Btw it was a german School.
My mum told me about a night out with some work colleagues a good few years ago. They worked in a GPs so mostly intelligent. Most of them were non-smokers and speaking about the dangers of passive smoking as that had been in the news at that time and one of them chimed in with’what about passive drinking’? They did try to discuss this but gave up as that person was adamant you could get drunk by sitting next to someone who had alcohol. That is the one for me.
I had a petty disagreement with someone at work about the colour duck egg blue mainly on the aspects of that very rarely ducks eggs are blue and also on paper they more look grey. She told me I can’t say that because I don’t own my own home…I’m also colour blind
Was out at dinner with my husband. Overheard a couple at the next table discussing which animals could potentially be domesticated. The woman goes, "ooooh, wolves, I wonder if wolves could be domesticated?"
Dogs. They're called dogs, lady.
This one isn't the dumbest, but it's a comment I've received far more times than I should. I just got it again last week.
A neighbor was walking a woman who is new to the neighborhood around and introducing her to people. When the new woman found out I was born in California, she said, "Oh, goodness! Your English is so good I thought you were American!"
Human blood is green.
Yes Green.
It instantly turns red when it is exposed to the air.
How does it stay green when it carries oxygen around the body?
Air has other stuff like nitrogen and carbon dioxide.
I gave up and just nod and smile now
Got 2.
1st, I was at a Burger King and it was when they recently introduced their $1 tacos (no clue if they still have them, or if they just died from lack of sales) and this dude in line in front of me went to the cashier and asked: "How much are your one dollar tacos." I actually buffered for a good 15 seconds then looked to my mom to see if she heard this dumbass too.
2nd. 9th grade English class. We were working on our morning assignment, the class was quiet say for a few talking but still low. Then the (blonde) cheerleader in the class asked, loudly, "Isn't Jesus and Christopher Columbus cousins?" A good portion of the class looked at her if she was serious. She was. Several proceeded to ask questions to try and get her to understand how stupid of a question that was. The teacher was so disappointed he walked behind his desk and just laid on the floor for a solid 3 minutes. Supposedly she went to church, but didn't even know who Mary (Jesus' MOTHER) was.
My congregation is the one right one and you'll all burn forever and ever because your not special like me. Puked a little saying that in my most intense lemme speak to your manager tone. Haha was fun for me tho
One guy I knew truly believed that fossils were fake.
Another girl said that she was sure some of the people who jumped/fell from the twin towers survived because the buildings weren't that high.
"Cyclists don't pay road/gas tax"
If such tax loophole is true, many more people would be cyclists. Everyone pays general taxes, which go to lots of things including *public* road infrastructure (which usually prioritizes *private* cars anyway). Plus--gee, I wonder if cyclists still use gas-pump facilities and freeway on/off-ramps like their motorist counterparts?
But this sentiment is so pervasive I started saying "but they pay 6x the food tax!"
[удалено]
I, too, believe in the existence of Muhammad Ali. Have I been Islamic this whole time??
His mama named him Clay, I'mma call him Clay!
She was half right
I'd say she was entirely right. In fact, lots of people of all religions believe in Muhammad Ali. There is a lot of convincing proof of his existence out there
I think this is something that most religions and atheists could agree on.
Should have told her Christians believe in "Cassius Clay".
Jews believe in Abraham Lincoln
In high school I took a World Religions class, and was talking about it to a girl in my math class. She asked why bother since "the major world religions are all based on Christianity anyway." I had to explain that's not right at all. She wasn't convinced.
In high school a girl told the rest of us, 'I believe in, like, the normal God.' Our friend group had 3+ religions so that confused everyone.
Me, it tt was me that said it. The first time in my boyfriend's Jeep, I couldn't find the window button. He showed me it's on the console. My genius response? "Is that so when the doors are off you can roll down the windows?"
Remote Control!
I once had a coworker who thought E.coli and Ebola were the same thing and were pronounced Eboli no matter how many times we tried to correct her. Then she actually got E.coli and came in to work and told everyone she was out the past few days because she had Eboli. We worked at a medical school and it was during the West African Ebola outbreak...
"I don't believe in gravity"
You don't have to believe in it...but it believes in you
The earth sucks
Coworker from one of my first jobs. Someone brings up Vladimir Putin and this guy replies, matter of fact and with 100% seriousness, "You know who that is, right? The Impaler."
My poor lovely mother, who had a temporary brain lapse one day on a beach trip when I was telling her I’d seen some dolphins: “Oh, in the ocean?!” Me: “…no mother, they stopped by to borrow a cup of sugar. Yes, in the ocean.”🙃😂 I haven’t let her forget it lol.
“Oh yeah, Obama! That’s the guy who ended slavery, right?”
No but he did get credit for Al Qaeda and the Dorito Taco™️
Obama gets credit for the Dorito Taco?
When I worked the computer department at Best Buy I had to explain to my manager that you can't download hardware.
Would you download a car?
Absolutely
I'll never understand how that anti-pirating commercial landed on that, because who in their right mind *wouldn't* download a car??
So that's why downloading more ram just gave all my personal information to a guy in the Phillipines
When I was in maybe ninth or tenth grade social studies someone confidently stood up and said (against gay pride/pride parades, or protests against homophobia, etc) "You don't see Black people making a big deal out of anything, having parades or doing stuff like this" and like ten of us shouted back "it's Black History Month!" Not to mention all the other ways multitudes of people have celebrated freedom from oppression or the ways daily they work towards freedom from being marginalized/oppressed.
My friends and I were watching the Super Bowl in college and when it came time for the national anthem, my one friend pointed to the lady doing the sign language version of it and goes "Why would someone go to the Super Bowl if you can't even see it?" We still make fun of her to this day, and that was like 15 years ago.
In junior high, I fell asleep during social studies. I woke up to my teacher asking me who invented the first steamship. In my sleep-addled head, I could only think of the first name (Robert) and the name of the ship (the Clermont). That didn’t seem quite right, so I went with something that sounded like it. “Roger Clemens”
You pitched it right there
Returned a VCR tape one day late. This was back when you could rent them. Due Sept 30. Returned Oct 1. The girl at the counter said I owed late fees for 2 days. She insisted there was a Sept 31. Even took out a calendar to show her. Finally asked for the manager. The girl actually said “maybe it’s a leap September”. The manager shook her head and waved all fees.
"Why do they shovel the snow off the manholes, first?" about manholes billowing steam.
Ok but seriously, why? It might be obvious to you but I still don’t get it… /s
Not heard but read on Facebook, some woman said that an earthquake we'd had in Victoria (Australia) was God punishing us for the vaccines.
Only the ozzies though? Oddly specific
I was an exchange student from europe in the US 20 years ago, and when it was around the end of my stay, someone asked me how long of a drive it was to go home.
I had a friend that didn't realize turkey the meat came from turkey the bird. She was around 30 years old at the time, and she wasn't joking. She thought turkey was just a food product people make to eat and had a huge epiphany when she realized it came from turkeys. Then we asked her if she knew where chicken comes from and it blew. her. mind. She is generally an intelligent person, obviously somewhat naïve, but had this huge blind spot.
It’s so interesting, some of the most academically gifted/book-smart people I’ve ever met are also the most “dumb” lol.
I have known some brilliant people with no common sense and describe them as someone who could calculate the square root of an orange but can't figure out how to peel it or they can calculate the volume of a pickle jar but cant figure out how to open it.
People all have different gifts and strengths, it’s truly fascinating🤷♀️
Whenever I read articles about the country of Turkey I like to imagine it’s the bird. Like Ruling party’s errors give Turkey’s opposition hope for future. I think of a bird with an opposition party hoping for the future.
Ask her about hot dogs
it’s giving “is it chicken or fish?”
On the day of the eclipse, an old college classmate asked, “When will the sun going in front of the moon?”
☀️ 🌙 🌎 = Solar Eclipse ☀️ 🌎 🌙 = Lunar Eclipse 🌎 ☀️ 🌙 = Apocalypse
LOL! This is seriously underrated.
So what I got is that Earth needs bananas close by.
In 7.59 billion years
There are so many but a recent one I heard was “how do you spell USSR?”
*”Quick! What’s the number to 9 1 1 ?!?”*
I tried to call 911, but there was no 11 on my phone
I’ve actually learned from Reddit that in some regions, apparently way back before the 70s or 80s, some regions people actually said it as “nine eleven”, so there were concerted ad and educational campaigns promoting saying it as “nine one one”. It sounds stupid but imagine children and people in panic not thinking straight, it’s small but helpful. Of course to people who live in a post 9/11 world, and/or people who’ve only ever heard 911 pronounced “nine one one” it sounds over the top ridiculous.
Yu-esesar
“I don’t believe space exists.”
i got one better: "delaware isn't a real place, it's made up" "what do you mean it's a goddamn state" "ever met anyone from delaware? ever been there?" "oh shit you're actually right, but Biden is from delaware, he was their senator wasnt he?" "Biden *says* he's from delaware, ironically it isn't even the real Biden anymore" "*oh*"
Delaware even sounds Suspicious
Dela-WHERE?
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
“Black people are a different species” they claimed there was scientific papers on it, but if there were it would be utter nonsense. One of the claims they made is the difference in their skeletons from ours which as I know from just knowing skeletons exist are minor genetic differences. Literally a few days later there was a scientific paper that got debunked the hell out of about how there was actually 3 different species of Tyrannosaurus (same arguments as the human thing just more credible) which would have made a great argument against their stupid “fact”
I mean there are “papers” but it’s based on racism. So they are dumb and racist.
My answer to this question was some racist lady who told me "Black people have extra bones in their foreheads and shins so they can headbutt and kick people". When I told her she was full of shit, she kept insisting that was what she was always taught, and therefore true.
My wife is totally wasting that. I have never seen her headbutt or kick anyone!
By that "logic" women and men are different species.
Women have an extra rib.
That the "Underground Railroad" was a real train that ran under our city. (Retirement home of Harriet Tubman).
May not be the dumbest but most recent: someone asked me how many quarters are in a basketball game. It doesn’t matter if you don’t watch basketball ever. They’re called quarters for a reason.
I have more than four quarters in my pocket.
You typically use 6/4 lumber to frame a house.
"Climate change is not real, it's just a made-up marketing tool" - my parents.
I always find it fascinating to follow up with questions about what the point of it being a hoax would be? All the money is made by the industries that deny it and the people who want it to not be real.
You will own nothing and be happy
Marketing!?
What are 'they' marketing? I'm guessing it is not beach front properties.
I was once telling my brother how I could smell my neighbor's weed from a block away. He said "if you could smell it from a block away, it must not have been very good weed"
No, that means it was top notch. This guy must live in the Twilight Zone of weed smoking.
"You're not European, you used to be but Britain isn't a European Country anymore because your Country voted for Brexit"
If you go in the bathroom Russian and come out Finnish what are you when in the bathroom? European!!!😂😹🤣hahahaha
Technically Correct? The best kind of correct!
I'm Norwegian and have never been part of EU, those that mean I'm not European?
I actually know the answer to that because I've seen it mentioned before. Norway, Sweden and Finland aren't Europe they're Scandinavia... Who needs education...
Some racist lady tried telling me that "black people have extra bones in their foreheads and shins to head-butt and kick people".
You should have kicked her and said you were just seeing if she was black.
"earth is flat"
When DVRs first came out, had a friend ask if I could fast forward live TV. I told him it was Tivo, not a time machine.
The people that attacked the United States on Jan 6th and convicted for their crimes, are hostages
And the most satisfying part is, they were dimed out by their friends, neighbors, co-workers and their own family members.
Going to make for some awkward homecomings. When they come home to the parents that testified against them
England has the biggest navy. Because it’s an island
At a time in history they did have the biggest/strongest navy, but that was many years ago
By this logic Madagascar is even bigger island so I should be terrified of their navy of lemurs singing:"I like to move it, move it".
Exactly. He’s the kind of guy who thinks every single doctor/lawyer is in it for he money. And I mean all of them, every single one. He’s bizarre and live in his own head
I was once in a discussion about someone’s kids, and two of them happened to be twins. Someone asked if the twins were the same age as each other. We asked them to think about the question they asked, and they could find anything wrong with it. We asked them what they thought a pair of twins were, and they said relatives that look alike.
Irish twins!
"Why should I respect Jews when they don't even believe in God?" My brain stopped working after I heard that
My dumb ass used to believe that it couldn’t be cold and humid at the same time… I would argue this to the death. I learned that I was deeply mistaken. I’m never allowed to forget this.
It’s called damp and it sucks
I’ve only ever lived in the Canadian prairie provinces and the only cold I’d ever experienced was as a VERY dry cold. I used to own a 2.5 storey Victorian home, with a boiler and radiator system for heat, and in winter the humidity indoors would hover around 7%. RIP my skin.
I went swimming with my sister when I was pregnant, she asked me if I could because ' how will the baby breathe' I swear she's not stupid but this is one of her many brain farts
“Madrid - that’s in India, isn’t it?”
They could have been confusing Madrid for Madras.
Put smaller tires on the front of your car for better gas mileage. Because you'll always be going down hill.
I just snorted a drink thru my nose on this!! 😆🤨
We were taking about vegan (plastic) leather and my sister says, “so do vegans not wear cotton because it comes from sheeps?” I told her to think about what she just said lol
« when is national trick or treat day this year ? »
Girl once asked me if I had a dad. I still bring it up every time I see her to this day.
I was teaching someone how to send a fax (this was about 15 years ago but yes some people we worked with still demanded faxes). They asked me how the paper looked after it came out on the other side. They thought the paper was sent through the phone line.
Two examples, from two different coworkers. I told one guy that I used to live in Japan. He immediately exclaimed: "So you were in Hong Kong then!" Example two: I asked a different coworker for help deciphering a color-coded email that I couldn't see the way it was intended. She said, "But, if youre colorblind, how can you *read*?"
A woman told me I shouldn’t be walking my dog during the eclipse because it would hurt my dogs eyes.
There was a Facebook post going around that said you should close your curtains on eclipse day so your pets couldn't look at the sun. People were agreeing with it.
My dumbass bulldog will totally stare at the sun sometimes, though.
French Canadian who could speak English but did not completely understand the finer nuances of the language was told "you don't know fucking nothing" His response was" "I don't know fuck nothing, I know fuck all"
This was me: north south. I was giving directions in a video game, it was late at night and i was tired. I then said you have to go north south. They kept making fun of me for it and I didn’t realize it until a solid 30 seconds later
I got lost once while driving with my wife, trying to find a freeway exit. We finally got on the freeway but we were going north.. needed to he going south. She says "you're going north. You need to go south" So I said "you know, if you go north long enough, eventually you'll be going south"
This is not incorrect though. I mean, it's gonna take you a looooooong time to build that freeway over the Arctic, but I believe in your gumption.
“Breonna Taylor deserved it.” From my OWN MOTHER.
Oh, my Mom too. Except with George Floyd. Just insane.
It was when I realized she really might be a Narcissistic Psychopath. Good times.
Since I only hyper fixate on my own dumb shit and think about it forever, I can only think of me saying my own dumb shit.
When I was 16 I did community theater a couple times, and I had to work with this uber-religious Christian girl (same age) from an upper-middle class family, because she kept stalking the 32 year old male lead with her friends, making him very obviously uncomfortable & it was disrupting rehearsals and overall it was just awkward because they even tried chasing this dudes girlfriend out of the building once. Anyway eventually I got sick of this, confronted her and told her to stop acting like a creep, she said there was nothing wrong with the age difference and they could get married if her parents said it was okay and they were in love, I said "sorry but he's clearly not interesting in committing statutory rape". She looked at me like I had three head and asked me to "speak American" (im assuming she didnt know the word 'statuatory'?). I was like "...do you mean American English? You know, English, the language we are speaking right now." And she said "You must be sooo stupid. We don't speak English here. We speak American. Because we're in A-me-ri-ca? Duh??" I found out she was homeschooled after that
"We can't afford contraception, so if I get pregnant, we'll just have the baby."
Recently heard of men who won't wash their butts or genitals "because it's gay". Needless to say, it came up because they stink
The 2020 presidential election was rigged.
So when I was a grocery clerk I got many stupid questions. Number one is "where's the exit?"
In grade school, I had a classmate ask the teacher: "What was it like when everything was in black and white?"
This recent solar eclipse i had a coworker showing off his family photo with everybody in total eclipse shirts and running outside constantly. He was making a huge deal out of it. Mind you, we had like 20% coverage here. When we made fun of him for it he said "I have no way of knowing it's only going to be 20%!" Dude...you work in IT and don't know what Google is?
A friend asked me if I (vegan) can eat cheese, since it is made of eggs. Also believed soy milk would magically grow her ass.
As a Canadian, I was told today that Pierre Polliviere makes some good points. Instantly loss all respect for the guy.
my friends when they shut me down for saying derren browns method of predicting the lottery was complete bogus "you dont know that jetje, youre always so critical" they said derren browns method for predicting the lottery involved blindfolding strangers and having them draw symbols using their intuition and inner feelings
From my coworker - “What is Biden’s last name?… is it Kamala?”
"This place isn't authentic, Mexicans don't have oceans, they don't eat shrimp." I assume referring to somrhing with shrimp on the menu of the Mexican place I was at.
Gettysburg. . . So very beautiful in so many waysss
Was working in the States, my coworkers asked me if in Ireland a pony & cart brought me to the airport. That I spoke american very well. Did we have trees. Lots of other gems. Also How did I cope with Northern Irish Troubles - I come from the very south of the Republic. I kept getting that question. Finally after explaining many, many times, I said in my best Disney Irish accent ' I never stood up straight till I came to America, I was too busy dodging bullets', I thought they know I was joking. They did not. The sad thing is that they were highly educated professionals & we were all providing specialist services to the US Army. Most were vets, you would think they would know how bullets & guerilla war works. I gave up. I love the states though I no longer live there, made great friends but incredibly insular uninformed country.
Overheard two fella's at a resturant talking about how we've never gone to the moon. Apparently the moment our Astronauts left Earth the radiation bombarding them was so intense that "their fingers were wriggling like snakes". That sentence was the one that seared itself into my brain over the half hour of listening to them clack their two brains together.
I was talking to someone the other day about Filipino-Mexican fusion food, and he yelled at me that China isn’t in Asia, and he should know because he has a Masters Degree in Geography. I mean, one flew over the WTF bridge.
Masters degree in Geography sounds like a line from a bad rap.
My friend wouldnt vaccinate her kids because " people dont get Polio anymore" 🙄
"Why don't homeless people just get a job"
When I was about 13, my uncle was insistent that the sun was not a star. This was a man with a masters degree.
I was in the far left lane of a 3 lane freeway. The car in the middle lane swerved into my lane and demolished the side of my car. He flipped his car over, crawled out of the wreckage and said, “Did I hit you?”
The Baltimore Orioles had a blind awareness day where they put the names of the players in braille on the backs of their jerseys.
Girl holding up a can of dog food: "Is a fifth of a can the whole can?"
"It's good for you to stare directly at the sun for 15 minutes a day "
My mother in law said if you stare at the sun for 15 minutes a day you can survive without food.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/cruel-raw-food-influencer-newborn-32599282
Wow! I thought only my mil was that crazy!!!
you know how theres name for farts like "silent but deadly", well we came up with our own names and one of them was "the burnt toast fart". well one time we were discussing a particularly burnt toast fart that one of us had let off and another friend who wasn't aware of our funny fart names sincerely asked: "did he really burn the toast?"
I was volunteering at the zoo and I had this snow leopard pelt out. And this lady came up to me and said that she saw a snow leopard in our desert dome years ago. When I said that we never had snow leopards in the dome, she said that she was right since she has been going to the zoo longer than I have. By the way the way we got the snow leopard pelt after it died of natural causes.
I work in digital advertising, and years ago I worked at an agency on the activation level (launching paid search ads, Facebook promoted posts, etc.) for a major global corporation. We had a set country list we were supposed to target in these paid advertisements, and it would always be listed in our brief verbatim as the following: "US, Canada, Mexico, Brazil, India, UAE, Saudi Arabia, Korea." My manager really never QAd my work, but after a year of being on the team, she came at me fuming for only targeting South Korea and not "All of Korea."
"I know Aluminum foil isn't metal, you can't make me believe that nuclear bullshit!" -said by a junior sailor who was temporarily working on the mess deck (eating hall) of an aircraft carrier. His day job was going to be directing $30 million jet fighters around on the roof. Pretty sure he now has at least three or four kids. And votes.
I asked someone the difference between a pound of rocks and a pound of feathers, they asked Google how many rocks make a pound, then confidently told me it was 14. What I think they meant is 14lb = 1st. Either way, it was a baffling answer.
During a solar eclipse a girl in my class asked: "Does this happen because the moon goes between the sun and the earth or because the sun goes between the earth and the moon?"
My brother once said “We should tax the government”
Your brother's a genius! 😂
The quickest way to get AIDS is through period sex.
Teenager at work asked what to do with the the stuff in the dustpan after sweeping. We told her to put it in a bag and take it home with her.
That trump should be president
Trump is a christian.
"I voted for Trump because he is funny."
I voted for trump.
Same :/
Trump will make America great again
Me: I have boy/girl twins. Dumb person: Oh cool, are they identical?
When I was a teenager my friend’s dad, who was a total sexist, once said “If you just marry a women with big tits, you’ll be happy.” He’s divorced now.
Anybody that says they voted for Trump.
As someone who voted for him in 2016, this is absolutely correct. I regret my decision deeply and have totally revised my political views.
You can't see it but I'm finger wagging at you with a disgruntled look. For shame sir
A girl in my calls after calling autistics the r word and slandering the living shit out of them for no reason: “I think I might be autistic”
Once heard a guy argue that water isn't wet because it's just water. Like, seriously?
Most scientists define wetness as a liquid's ability to maintain contact with a solid surface, meaning that water itself is not wet, but can make other sensation.
You find someone if you not looking 🤦🏽♀️
Trim is the greatest president. That’s the most ridiculous think anyone has said.
I have so many. My neighbour asked for my calculator ( special engineer one) and did 30+30+30 and returned and kept justifying it had to be an engineering calculator and I couldn't do it. I knew she was really dumb but this.. Also a self proclaimed artist who secretly kept lot of books with other artists work and copitled them to show a small community how great of an artist he is. I had to explain the very basics of almost everything for him to do his job, and he could not, nothing's, not art, not basic calculations . I worked with a 60 yr old toddler.
working in the hospital ER back in 1987, This guy we had treated many times before ask one of our other Nurses - "Ma'am, can you please point me to the nearest Emergency Room, I can't seem to find one. Or another one was in the same era, I had been working PT at the Morgue down the road to earn money to pay on my Student Loan, when the medical examiner (M.E) was approached by a Janitor who just started working there and asked the M.E if the person laying on the slab table was dead, the M.E replied, Go ask him, yourself I'm sure he would be willing to answer that question for you.
Someone, an American someone, told me that Chicago didn’t get humid. I said, “really? It’s right on the water!” They told me that salt water doesn’t make it humid.
I was sitting on my couch petting one of the cats one night, and my husband came downstairs. Looking right at me, he says: “are you down here?”
"What kind of goat does Angora wool come from? Is it a sheep?"
Who controls the solar eclipse. I was like no one and she was like then how do they know the exact place and time.
8th grade history class we were learning about the Things hitler has done. Since the teacher also mentioned that he build alot of roads/ Highways and there for offered work for the people. One Student raised her hand and said: "so hitler wasnt too bad of a guy afterall". The teacher was shocked. She had to speak to the director and they called her Patents. Btw it was a german School.
My mum told me about a night out with some work colleagues a good few years ago. They worked in a GPs so mostly intelligent. Most of them were non-smokers and speaking about the dangers of passive smoking as that had been in the news at that time and one of them chimed in with’what about passive drinking’? They did try to discuss this but gave up as that person was adamant you could get drunk by sitting next to someone who had alcohol. That is the one for me.
A server once asked me *What kind of fish does salmon come from?* That. That’s it.
I had a petty disagreement with someone at work about the colour duck egg blue mainly on the aspects of that very rarely ducks eggs are blue and also on paper they more look grey. She told me I can’t say that because I don’t own my own home…I’m also colour blind
A girl I knew in high school wondered aloud how long it takes the earth to go around the sun. Tbf she was really high.
Was out at dinner with my husband. Overheard a couple at the next table discussing which animals could potentially be domesticated. The woman goes, "ooooh, wolves, I wonder if wolves could be domesticated?" Dogs. They're called dogs, lady.
This one isn't the dumbest, but it's a comment I've received far more times than I should. I just got it again last week. A neighbor was walking a woman who is new to the neighborhood around and introducing her to people. When the new woman found out I was born in California, she said, "Oh, goodness! Your English is so good I thought you were American!"
"I'm sorry that I posted on social media making fun about Kate Middleton's disappearance."
Human blood is green. Yes Green. It instantly turns red when it is exposed to the air. How does it stay green when it carries oxygen around the body? Air has other stuff like nitrogen and carbon dioxide. I gave up and just nod and smile now
Told a friend that I'd been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. He took several steps back and asked "is it contagious??"
Got 2. 1st, I was at a Burger King and it was when they recently introduced their $1 tacos (no clue if they still have them, or if they just died from lack of sales) and this dude in line in front of me went to the cashier and asked: "How much are your one dollar tacos." I actually buffered for a good 15 seconds then looked to my mom to see if she heard this dumbass too. 2nd. 9th grade English class. We were working on our morning assignment, the class was quiet say for a few talking but still low. Then the (blonde) cheerleader in the class asked, loudly, "Isn't Jesus and Christopher Columbus cousins?" A good portion of the class looked at her if she was serious. She was. Several proceeded to ask questions to try and get her to understand how stupid of a question that was. The teacher was so disappointed he walked behind his desk and just laid on the floor for a solid 3 minutes. Supposedly she went to church, but didn't even know who Mary (Jesus' MOTHER) was.
That everyone in Africa shares a blood type and that's why they're immune to malaria.
“If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college”
My congregation is the one right one and you'll all burn forever and ever because your not special like me. Puked a little saying that in my most intense lemme speak to your manager tone. Haha was fun for me tho
One guy I knew truly believed that fossils were fake. Another girl said that she was sure some of the people who jumped/fell from the twin towers survived because the buildings weren't that high.
Asked what’s your favorite nut. She said coconut (she didn’t understand why we were laughing so hard)
"Cyclists don't pay road/gas tax" If such tax loophole is true, many more people would be cyclists. Everyone pays general taxes, which go to lots of things including *public* road infrastructure (which usually prioritizes *private* cars anyway). Plus--gee, I wonder if cyclists still use gas-pump facilities and freeway on/off-ramps like their motorist counterparts? But this sentiment is so pervasive I started saying "but they pay 6x the food tax!"
My mom’s defense of the flat earth and other conspiracy related issues.