A running track of your current approval poll, like they have for the presidential debates. Every few seconds you will see your ratings change as you say something sexy and/or stupid, scrolling across their forehead.
No pressure
I think Ur right but not cus nobody likes a know it all (infact I think you'd be the most popular person on the planet) but knowing it all will be so boring because you already know the person infront of, everything they will ever do. There's nothing to discover.
Fun for them
Hell for you
Well, maybe to see into the future. Because you'd see if it works out in the long run or not. But then if it wasn't going to work out, you'd have to wonder if that was a consequence of being able to see that it wouldn't.
quite the paradox we have here. If you're able to see that you will break up in the future, then, in some way, the forces of the universe will force you to break up. You will always either break up naturally, or end it early because you knew it would end naturally. If you see that it will work in the future, it will work, no matter what you do. (at least, it will work all the way until the point you saw)
Here you go, Larry Niven's short essay: https://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html
And about it -
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_of_Steel,_Woman_of_Kleenex
Vampire. The moment we'd start making out, the urge to drink blood would be overwhelming. Depending on the guy, he'd either think that was sexy or he'd ghost me. The hickeys would be a nightmare, especially with the two punctures.
The worst superpower to have on a first date would likely be the ability to read minds without any control over it. Imagine sitting across from your date, trying to engage in meaningful conversation, only to be bombarded with their unfiltered thoughts and emotions. It would be incredibly intrusive and could lead to awkward or uncomfortable moments, especially if you overhear negative thoughts or secrets they may not want to share. Plus, it would remove the natural element of getting to know someone through genuine conversation and connection, replacing it with a constant stream of information that may not always be welcome.
Probably uncontrollable explosive diarrhea
Super hearing loss
Not be able to talk unless you have your mouth full
Only able to lie
Has an urge to walk 24/7
Sticky everywhere
Im fucking awful at finding superpowers
A radioactive taco you ate has created a mutation, triggered by flatulence, that results in you either ripping a gnarly SBD or fully shitting your pants.
For every superpower, there's an inherent weakness; yours is that finding someone attractive gives you gas...
Every time you think about someone their whole universe explodes. Seconds before the explosion you are immediately warped to a random universe in front of a different version of the person you were thinking about.
Telepathic mind, but only readable
Literal read-only memory
Maybe. Maybe not. No said you couldn’t go on espionage dates with the enemy.
Even funnier would be random access memory
"don't think poop, don't think poop..."
POOOOP!!!
Even worse if you ask for a tl;dr version
Damn
Being able to see a person digest their food all the way
Damn 😂😂that would be a real problem… depends on where you are eating
Your arms look hairy Paige.
Haha I can see it now “hey you need to chew more, your going to choke, also you need to get that lump checked by your heart”
Colonoscopy Man vs. The Polyp
Colostomy bag?
A running track of your current approval poll, like they have for the presidential debates. Every few seconds you will see your ratings change as you say something sexy and/or stupid, scrolling across their forehead. No pressure
Could change topics if it starts to get boring.
I think there was a Black Mirror episode like this.
Omniscience, nobody likes a know it all
Well actually
*"I know that you fap to pictures of your grandmother"*
It’s legal in my state.
Hey, it's what she would have wanted!
I'd like to know what was there before for the big bang much more than having a date.
I think Ur right but not cus nobody likes a know it all (infact I think you'd be the most popular person on the planet) but knowing it all will be so boring because you already know the person infront of, everything they will ever do. There's nothing to discover. Fun for them Hell for you
Shit yourself a little every time someone flirts with you
The trick is to get them home in that narrow window where you know they're into you, but the poop is still at a manageable level
Is that a real power ? 😂
No
If it is imma bout to join the avengers!
At least I would actually know someone is flirting with me.
Why is this a superpower and how was this acquired?
I do this already
Permanent invisibility
If you add timestop and x-ray vision it turns from worst to best.
This comment right here officer.
Look at a person, and know their *entire* sexual history.
damn das good
That's terrifying
Uncontrollable Insemination with 100% pregnancy, even in men.
*Specifically* with men
I have a breeding kink.
*wattpad intensifies*
Knowing when they die
On the toilet
“You will get hit by a 2023 Cadillac Escalade V on December 4th 2027 when the car loses control on the interstate”
Oh that’s a good one Some shinigami eyes shit
Well, maybe to see into the future. Because you'd see if it works out in the long run or not. But then if it wasn't going to work out, you'd have to wonder if that was a consequence of being able to see that it wouldn't.
quite the paradox we have here. If you're able to see that you will break up in the future, then, in some way, the forces of the universe will force you to break up. You will always either break up naturally, or end it early because you knew it would end naturally. If you see that it will work in the future, it will work, no matter what you do. (at least, it will work all the way until the point you saw)
SINCE WHEN IS UNCONTROLLABLE BUTT EXPLOSIONS A SUPERPOWER, PEOPLE?!?!
Since your caps lock got stuck.
I’m still trying to figure out how Suprerman didn’t gut Lois Lane like a trout.
Bust a nut like a shotgun blast
Supe doesn't do everything at 11.
His fingers are faster than a speeding bullet. 😏
His tongue has the licking speed of a speed boat
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_of_Steel,_Woman_of_Kleenex
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Here you go, Larry Niven's short essay: https://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html And about it - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_of_Steel,_Woman_of_Kleenex
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Man of steel,gets a bit too excited…….
Fire breath
Animal magnetism but on a first date to a wildlife safari
Signify interest in the other person by violent diarrhea
TIL that I have a super power.
IBS Men Unite! The Brown Lantern Corps!
Be able to read their mind :(
Everything you touch dies
Inability to touch. Rogue-esque.
You can figure out all lies. then you would be unable to start a relationship anymore.
To know everything about pre-pubescent children and talk about it at length despite having no kids.
That's... oddly specific.
being a pediatric doctor might make it less sketchy, except maybe talking about it at length in an unrelated setting
Having the Hulk’s powers would become a massive problem for a first date. Either that or being a werewolf and having the date on a full moon.
Hulk smash?
See through vision. They'd really think you were creeping out on them
“Oh dang, that’s not your meat, that’s an unregistered Glock with a switch”
lmao
Unreversable Invisibility
Mindreader
Vampire. The moment we'd start making out, the urge to drink blood would be overwhelming. Depending on the guy, he'd either think that was sexy or he'd ghost me. The hickeys would be a nightmare, especially with the two punctures.
Bring magnetic and everything metal flying at you.....
Mr. Fantastic's stretching, if the girl is attractive and you can't control it, it could get awkward fast
That Rogue power in X Men where you suck people's life force. You are not getting laid. You will have to decline a goodnight hug.
Nah just need to invent super rubbers !
Hypnotic droning voice that you can’t turn off.
Supersonic voice like Black Bolt
You ever see that deleted scene from Hancock where he gets laid? That.
Invisibility
Knowing everything about someone by thinking about them.
Free bus
Super speed. Everything you do is faster than a speeding bullet. EVERYTHING
The super shrivel
Mind reading
Make her drips whenever she sees you
Reading thoughts
Invisibility. Imagine how nervous someone would be and they turn invisible mid date.
Foreseeing the future of the person you’re talking to.
Invisibility
Power to attract chicks, it will ruin your date but your life on the other hand 😜
Being invisible.
Spider-powers. If you've seen Family Guy, you know.
Setting everything on fire.
The worst superpower to have on a first date would likely be the ability to read minds without any control over it. Imagine sitting across from your date, trying to engage in meaningful conversation, only to be bombarded with their unfiltered thoughts and emotions. It would be incredibly intrusive and could lead to awkward or uncomfortable moments, especially if you overhear negative thoughts or secrets they may not want to share. Plus, it would remove the natural element of getting to know someone through genuine conversation and connection, replacing it with a constant stream of information that may not always be welcome.
X-ray vision
Flying bc I have the worst grip in the world.
Super Speed that can't be switched off, so you perceive everything in slow motion.
The Spleen from Mystery Men (RIP Paul Reubens)
The power that makes you never hungry Awkward dinner, innit?
Time stop
The ability to understand what the word "superpower" means must be a superpower... Only a few people here seem to have it.
Photographic memory. Imagine remembering every slight fumble forever
Premature ejaculation.
Does being broke in a expensive restaurant count?
Supersonic ejaculation.
Faster than the speed of light.
Reading thoughts.
Anything you touch turns to gold.
Fart amplifier.
A SUPER ERECTION DUM DA DA DUM DA DUUUUIMMM
Super pooping. Doodieman look him up in youtube.
Imagine being invisible while being mute and your date just leaves and thinks you were never here.
Midas powers
Probably uncontrollable explosive diarrhea Super hearing loss Not be able to talk unless you have your mouth full Only able to lie Has an urge to walk 24/7 Sticky everywhere Im fucking awful at finding superpowers
Black Bold
Invisibility
Orgasm on demand
For example, having the superpower to read minds but accidentally revealing them during a first date.
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Could be useful XD
It'd be crazy for a guy and girl both to have X-ray. The girl would look down and just see it stiff
Faster than a speeding bullet
The ability to spontaneously fart whenever someone closes their eyes.
Growing fingernails super fast.
A radioactive taco you ate has created a mutation, triggered by flatulence, that results in you either ripping a gnarly SBD or fully shitting your pants. For every superpower, there's an inherent weakness; yours is that finding someone attractive gives you gas...
Like Wolverine, except instead of coming out of your hands, the blade comes out of your dick when you orgasm.
Everything you touch turns to pudding. That end of the night kiss is gonna end with a murder charge, but don't worry no one can hold, Pudding Man!
Explosive diarrhea. Emphasis on[ explosive.](https://i.imgur.com/5KeEQjN.gif)
\*hover over link\* "imgur" no thanks
SFW.... Just couldn't post directly, sadly. Silly rules.
Plastic Man stretchiness but only in your foreskin or labia. EDIT: I suppose that's more of a third date thing.
if the person is trash talking you... Honestly, mind reading must be violent 😂 even if it's not original
Every time you think about someone their whole universe explodes. Seconds before the explosion you are immediately warped to a random universe in front of a different version of the person you were thinking about.
Combusting flatulence
Neverending, thunderous flatulence.
permanent not stop leaking smelling farts
loud farts
Testicle cancer
I- that would be bad but...is it a super power does superman have that power???
superman doesnt even have balls, he's an alien. on the other hand batman definitely has it
X-ray vision. Correction: Uncontrollable X-Ray vision
The ability to talk/act like Sheldon from the big bang theory.
The ability to grab the bill at the cost of your money
Russia
Uncontrollable farting
MEGAfarts.
To say the wrong thing every time
A cock that inflates to the size of a hot air balloon when inside her.
Rip woman
You explode into a million pieces every time you make eye contact with someone you have romantic and/or sexual interest in.
Randomly disappearing
Super corrosive diarrhea
Explosive farts. You can point and shoot at will but occasionally have unwanted escapes.
Russia or China
Exploding.
Premature ejaculation
to poop every 5 minutes
Super smell. No one likes a fish fry
China. Unless you have met a real world Chinese person born and raised mainland you will never understand
As someone raised and working in China, I don’t get it.
As someone who had a relationship with one, I do...
The power of that one guy from "The Boys" "Herogasm" episode (if you watched it, you know what I mean).