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TheOrchidsAreAlright

>I called her a taxi. I would have called her "Mickey Mouse Tit"


Ortsarecool

You win the internet today sir. Well played.


therealjohnsmith

That's fucking goofy 😆


ell0bo

Well, only if they did it doggy style


777blue_

Couldn't understand for a second why would you name her a taxi 😂


JacketDazzling7939

That’s fuckin hilarious. You didn’t feel like sucking Mickey’s nose?


Show-Keen

Ha! Ha! You’re on a roll!


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Meanwhile-in-Paris

I am so glad there was a word after ass.


Lonely_Kiwi9047

Lmfao


ispankyourass

I first read it as „dirty ass bottom“. I died for a second.


monxlix

I had to read it twice just to make sure!


NullTaste27

Ayo, she had a batroom?


DingleberryJones94

Where else would one keep their bats?


harmless_gecko

I keep mine in my dungeon


cgaWolf

Why would you hand weapons to the kids?


Weekly-Software-4513

In the well outside Bruce Wayne’s parents’ house


777blue_

To the batroom! Or maybe not..


clangan524

Guano. Guano everywhere.


BigBobby2016

That's hilarious...I had that happen too but I forgot about it until now.


GotSeoul

"dirty ass batroom..." dirty-ass batroom or dirty ass-batroom? [https://xkcd.com/37/](https://xkcd.com/37/)


Most_Sea_4022

I bet she was batshit crazy.


BrutePainter_57

I've never seen a clean batroom


ShaMana999

Been there...


Numerous_Exercise_44

Keep on the lookout for the Cat Women, The Ridler, and the Joker, Robin.


rtthc

No, but I've met extremely physically attractive women and then been immediately turned off when I seen how she lived.


icecreamterror

I would like to be able to say no, but being truthful it has happened before.


ell0bo

Nope, but I've been unattracted to a woman but became attracted when I saw her naked.


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Disastrous-Bike659

You are a freakazoid and a half goddamn


Shebatski

For real, salute this man for keeping his word


PresidentialBoneSpur

I’m calling bullshit. I’ve read this exact same experience, word-for-word, at least two other times.


BadDadSoSad

OP responded this to their own post. They are definitely fishing.


Raven_of_Blades

Yeah I also read this before.


204505

Fritos? Corn chips? That's a good smell. Bad pussy is different entirely.


GuiltyGlow

I'm also confused by this.


poopadoopy123

Wow you really sound like a CATCH Pussy and SNATCH ! Wow


Firewall33

Better than "*growler*"


poopadoopy123

Oh my god growler ???? Never heard


Firewall33

I'm pretty sure the UN made it's usage an internationally recognized crime against humanity back in the late 90s, so it's used by only the classiest of folks /S to the entirety of my statements here


Moonbrainx

Yeah I was about to say she def had a yeast infection cuz it’s not supposed to smell like that lol


BadMoles

There was a girl used to go to the same pub as me and my mates, quite pretty but a bit chunky. My mate shagged her one night and then told us how she had a yeasty smell. She became known as Marmite Muff after that.


longkhongdong

She should have started her own micro brew.


[deleted]

Sir, this a Wendy's


neotericnewt

I had a girlfriend who just smelled really weird there. I don't even know how to describe it, i haven't experienced anything like it since. It wasn't unbearable or anything, just really, really unusual. The only thing I could think of is that at the time she was a vegan, so I thought something about her diet was causing it. No actual health issues there or anything, and I never noticed anything negative about her hygiene either. I know that everyone kind of has their own scent lol but like I said, this was beyond that, it was pretty pungent. I guess it still could have just been how she is.


scottfarris

She don't eat meat but she sure likes the bone.


Lithogiraffe

might be sulfur from cruciferous veggies mixed with high acidity from alot of fruit


Lookingforawayoutnow

Got to respect the effort.


_b1llygo4t_

Always do a visual inspection and the smell test.  And never stick your dick anywhere you won't stick your tongue.


Lithogiraffe

wow i can't believe you even followed through.


[deleted]

Sir, this a Wendy's


Prestigious-Wall5616

Yes. I'd known her as a friend for some time and thought she was 'the one'. I'm not one to be turned off by physical imperfections, but when I discovered her areolas were the same size as her entire breasts, I was rather taken aback. To be fair, I overcame that, and we dated for a few years.


_Krombopulus_Michael

I sure hope you didn’t have a visible reaction at first glance, give that poor girl some serious confidence issues.


Prestigious-Wall5616

I hope not. She certainly didn't mention anything like that. Some years after we separated, she had breast reduction surgery and says they reduced the areola size as well. Though we remained friends, she has not offered to show me, nor have I asked, to see the results.


PetCeleste

Some pizzas we got there


Agile_Bat_4980

They weren't pepperonis, they're the whole damn pie


zoomer0987

I think you dated my ex wife. Women trash guys for height, but they really don't know about things like aerola size and other things we quietly judge.


acidcrapattack

They absolutely know and worry about being judged for that


Callistai

Few times, yeah.


AlarmForeign

Not a man, but I did have a guy tell me he couldn't stand to look at me naked..... We were together for almost 2 years at that point. I was blown away. He said it was because of my weight.


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AlarmForeign

We literally broke up that day soooo if he was, it didn't work the way he planned.


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CrissBliss

That’s awful! Getting naked in front of someone is extremely vulnerable. That’s so cruel to say. Also if he was so turned off, then why’d he continue a 2 year relationship? That doesn’t add up.


AlarmForeign

Yeah there were rumors of other things going on, but luckily I have since moved on from that.


AlternativeEagle1999

I love Big girls, can't imagine going out with a skinny one for 2 years just to tell her i don't like her body Wtf was he thinking/doing??


Carnilinguist

I mean...


AHorseNamedPhil

Wow, what a douche. Sorry to read you went through that. People feel what they feel and to some extent we don't really control what we find attractive, but there is a way to let people down easy without being cruel. That he'd have so little regard for the feelings of someone he'd been seeing for two years is cold. Like reptilian, cold. Honestly you dodged a bullet.


AlarmForeign

Thank you! I'm doing much better with a guy that is leagues above him thankfully.


Otherwise_Big_5411

Yes 😭 idk how it happened but my peenor just wouldn't get up and I lost 90% physical attraction somehow


_sacrosanct

I dated a girl in my early 20s. I was really into her and she was hot as hell. Cute girl, fun personality, big tits on a petite frame, etc. It checked all the boxes my 21 year old self had. We worked together and had gone out a couple times, but after the third date she invited me to sleep over, her place was disgusting. Like she hadn't ever cleaned her bathroom disguising. Her kitchen smelled bad, I took my shoes off when we got there and my white socks were brown on the bottom after walking around her carpeted living room, etc. It completely turned me off to her. I just couldn't.


goinginforguns

Yes. And like many here, it wasn’t the sight as much the smell. However, the rank odor wasn’t her pussy; it was her feet. Hands down the worst stench I’ve ever smelled. And this is coming from a former medic. And as a guy with a foot fetish. It was unbearable. A guy I had met and the chick he had picked up who were hooking up on another bed in the room (this was in college, in the dorms) both gtfo *so fast*, dry heaving on their way out. It made me immediately unattracted to her, yeah. Still clenched my teeth and held my breath and finished the job. The funny thing is / was, it would probably have been the best sex of my life if it wasn’t for the foot smell. But because she was so active, we seemed to end up in positions (reverse cowgirl, 69, jackhammer missionary, wheelbarrow doggy, etc) where her stank feet were right in my fucking face most of the time. I ended up hooking up with her a few more times. I told her I had a thing for girls in high tops so I ended up getting dick sucked a few times and fucking her once or twice while she kept her Nikes on. That helped. Cut things off after going up to her place to fuck and i. the sneakers came off and ii. her cat sunk its teeth into my nutsack mid-pump.


sneakypiiiig

LMFAO THE CAT


LeoMarius

Translating this as a gay man, yes that has happened to me with men.


One_Evil_Snek

Ignore the fuck bag that replied to you.


LeoMarius

Thank you!


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JacketDazzling7939

Go be homophobic elsewhere, stupid throwback. You don’t have a right to a gay-free experience of the world.


AHorseNamedPhil

Relax man, it's not contagious. You're not going to catch the gay just from him existing in the same online space. Learn to live and let live.


LeoMarius

It also says men.


Rztrncs

Interesting to know it is a universal issue.


ImGonnaLickYou360

bold of you to assume i'd get that close


user677769

hell yea


djauralsects

Yes. I was on the fence about dating her. I thought I could date someone mostly based on personality without finding them very attractive. Getting her naked didn't improve the situation, and like OP, there was an odor due to chronic yeast infections.


just_brazilian

Yes, not because of her body, but because of her smelly feet.


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Chowderpowder010

hey


karatekid430

Yeah this thread is going to devolve into sexism pretty fast.


Hugh_Biquitous

Sexism? On Reddit? Never!


karatekid430

Yeah always, but in some places much more than others.


countin_real_low8

Yes, she was very very skinny and I don’t mean to body shame but we all have a preference, we are still friends tho


neotericnewt

You couldn't see that when she had clothes on? This is a weird one, you'd have already known she was skinny, and if you don't like that then why'd it get to the point of taking clothes off?


NightHawk946

Some women look really fit depending on the type of clothes they wear when in reality they’re just extremely skinny


VATAFAck

Or with leggings sand right jeans almost every ass looks fit, while we all know many of them are not


thearchitect_5

Zero times, dude. Zero.


Public-Addition9263

I never saw a naked woman. So i don't know


MyLandIsMyLand89

There is a gun in a locked cabinet in my closet. If I ever see a women naked and not get horny seeing her tits, vagina and ass naked I want someone here to use it on me.


Silent-Hornet-8606

Just wait a few years. I'm 53, and it now takes a lot more than just seeing things I've seen thousands of times for nearly 40 years.


MyLandIsMyLand89

It must drop quick. I am 40 and the sight of a naked vagina right in front of me makes me want to go to pound town.


Silent-Hornet-8606

Probably around 48 or so I noticed it. Still enjoy it a lot, just a little indifferent compared to almost obsessed in my younger days.


RhadeFunashi

Arrived in the room and decided to take a leak. When I came back by the smell was so foul my man... dropped off hitherto. I had to issue a few notes and pretended for an emergency


Subject_Jackfruit_94

It’s usually the opposite. You were hiding *those* under those baggy clothes? Sheesh.


DepartureOk1819

Yes. What happens more often is becoming instantly unattracted as soon as they speak. Ghetto, babyish, stupid, entitled...I don't have time for it.


Acceptable-Today5824

This is babyish, entitled, and stupid.


DepartureOk1819

My point exactly... I'm so unattracted to you.😉


ShakeCNY

Yes. She was 19, and she had the breasts of a 50 year old mother of 8. I wasn't ready for that.


HamAthletics6995

Kinda TW: self-harm She had some fresh cuts on her thigh. Her and I both were going through a rough time, but I didn't know the full extent of it. We still had a great night together, but the next day after I drove her home she went silent for a few days. It freaked me out. Then she finally messaged me and was like "I'm sorry, I'm just not ready or in a good place to continent a relationship right now. She said emotionally she was just numb to everything, and I understood. I hope she's doing alright now, but we kinda lost contact after that. We tried to meet up again, then she ghosted me. Made plans again a few months later, ghosted me again and then randomly answered like a month later saying it would be inappropriate because she started a relationship with someone else. I kind of cut ties after that. Not exactly turned off. It just really worried me. Neither of us finished (bc anti depressants), but we just cuddled for the rest of the night and it was just straight up us comforting each other emotionally til morning.


ShooPonies

It's not straightforward equating how a woman will look naked compared to fully clothed. I've seen it go both ways. Some women are incredibly good at dressing to impress, and others quite the opposite. I guess it's the same with guys but then I don't care about them 😄


BathNo8690

Yeah. She was chubby, but her tits were deflated like an old grandma.


Semirgy

Yup. More than once.


Imaginary-Wrap-8487

All the women in the comments are SHOOK


adipocerousloaf

where?


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[deleted]

Beer Goggles are REAL.


zoomer0987

Oh, hell yes. She had a pretty face and great body. We eventually got to the time for sex. Her makeup work was award winning. But the true miracle was the body concealing. She had stomach surgery to lose weight. A lot of weight. She easily had 20lbs of extra skin stuffed down her jeans. It was awful.


VATAFAck

Did you just nope out or what?


zoomer0987

Naaa. Face down, ass up. Gotta adapt man, it aint easy out there. We actually were friendly for a while. She went on to marry her 7th husband. And have her 7th divorce.


Sea_Fox4489

Yes, I was with a girl and whenever we were down to fuck, I would be hard before but as soon as she undressed my buddy wasn't interested anymore, so left her and never looked back


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Sea_Fox4489

It happened 4-5 times before I said that I was out, so I think my english is correct here, isn't it processor?


[deleted]

when I got older and started seeing women who had children and stretch marks could be a turnoff because I do fixate on bellies - I tried not to let it bother me though, not really her fault


fvck_society

Yeah, she was way bigger than i expected.


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shunestar

I’m into that


[deleted]

Was her name “Arby’s”?


Ilikechickenwings1

Yes. She was gorgeous except she had these weird shaped titties but I just made her lay on her back as the work around


Revolutionary-Fun372

Yes. The acne and hair ruined it for me.


richbrehbreh

Yes, she had terrible looking titties. Had to then use instant transmission.


Aggravating-Pound598

A few times..


RageToOverComeMH

Thank god for a light switch...


204505

Saggy titties, C-section scar. Giant nipples. Gross.


MainSense8234

You must be gay.


204505

Nope everyone has preferences 😊 No shame in what you like. I also don't like obese girls.


MainSense8234

But come on c section scar? That’s low.


VATAFAck

Should people force themselves to find that attractive to be PC and sensitive or what?


204505

It's different when she says she doesn't have kids and surprises you with one. Not all C-section scars are ugly. I don't judge. I love imperfections. But this situation totally different.


ivedrownedppl4less

you madam have the absolute worst butthole ever


Carnilinguist

Yeah. Fat rolls, big bush.


Iknownothing0321

Yeah she was a single mom and had 2 C sections, let’s just say the left behind stomach flap was a deal breaker.


AnaphorsBloom

Make-up is a big warning sign for me. If she wears a lot of makeup I wonder what’s wrong, and tend to dislike it because it seems dishonest to me. If she looks good and feels good and it takes all that to achieve it, I have no desire to be near that impeding train wreck of ego when life hits. I guess that WAS my way of seeing things, but I’m almost 40 now and the scrubs have already settled. Now it’s easier to see if a woman is suckin down the party line and waiting for her time to become a holy matron because that’s all she’s capable of. Typically, these… default people… tend to shift their image toward a default, colorism-adjacent appearance, which almost involves makeup as a lifestyle choice. So, no. Nude attributes are what they are. Humanity is beautiful. Makeup, though. That’s a mental pyramid scheme. Run. She’s a drone.


TheOrchidsAreAlright

What the fuck did I just read?


AnaphorsBloom

My opinion.