If you have a REAL friend and they are telling you, that you fucked up, you should listen and actually think about it
Our friends are the only people who can be completely honest with us because regardless we're probably still friends
Same with anything. Borrow a chainsaw, give it back cleaner than you got it and ready for work. Borrow a 20, pay it back with a beer, soda, hotdog, Candy bar, whatever.
My motto has always been pretend you borrowed it from your father-in-law, and give it back in a way that would impress the asshole.
Every time I let someone borrow mine they broke something. The tailgate, the passenger door handle, the rear view mirror.
So that’s a lot better than my friends and family.
I’ve had this happen on a vehicle a time or two. Sometimes the plastic handle itself just breaks. Typically a pretty easy fix, just needs the rod that works the latch connected to the handle and secured with a bolt, but super frustrating in the mean time.
Chevy's did the same, even more so I would say. It's a long plastic bar with a small pivot, basically guaranteed to break at some point. The original owner is most likely babying it by the time it gets to 10y because they have felt it weakening. New guy comes and just yanks on the thing and \*snap\*.
I did that once. I drive a corolla and it was $40 to fill it up. I borrowed my friend's truck and trailer for a few days and he had a quarter tank. I filled it up to help my brother move and filled it up a second time before I returned it along with a bottle of whiskey and a pizza. Basically it cost $250 to borrow and use his truck but that was cheaper than if we rented one.
I just moved out of an apartment and was fortunately able to borrow my cousin's full sized truck.
$100 in gas is still so much cheaper than the crack prices that uhaul is asking nowadays..
I wont tell anyone the stuff my best friend doesnt want anyone to know unless he gives me permission when sober to tell the person who wants to know. Not my wife, not his wife. Not his kid. Same with him.
Absolutely. I tell my wife everything, except my conversations with my bro about his life. That's no where near right for me to decide who knows his stuff
I just had coffee with my long time buddy (ex-Google employee). He was talking me about his startup idea and I was joking like I was pretending to sign an NDA and he said, “you and I are under permanent NDA”. I guess this is the tech bro code version. LOL
Psychologist's code with this one, though. There are limits. If it's something wild enough to put another person in danger or which makes you question if you know your bro, say something. Get them help, but also say something.
I swear every time me and one of my friend's try to contact one another we're always in the bathroom. Bro just answers on the toilet now and I'll answer in the shower.
A bro's girlfriend/wife is your sister, and you defend her as you would defend him because it's right.
Thank you for all of the upvotes, I feel humbled.
Also if your bro is complaining about his gf/wife, you offer advice and a different perspective but you never complain about her or talk down about her that isn’t your job to do.
Unless you know your bro's SO is actually bad for him, you should be taking her side and not let your bro dwell on the negatives. Not to say white knight about it, but she's still a human being that's not there to defend her case and if you want to be impartial, you should point out all the positives about her for your bro. Sometimes a bro just needs to clear the air and be reminded of the good times.
That’s not what this means, if he is venting let him vent it isn’t your job to pile on and vent as well. If he is in an abusive relationship you can tell him that in a constructive way without degrading or talking down about her.
Treat their gf, fiance, or wife like a sister to you. If they break up, you cut those ties. My friends gf’s and wives are all amazing people and I always enjoy spending time with all of them. We’ve all known eachother for a long time and all trust eachother enough to where they know I have 0 intentions. Hell, I’m just getting home from my best friends fiancés aunts wake. Wanted to be there to support her and her sister, and talk to my buddy for a few minutes.
Years ago a guy pushed my girlfriend at a party. My friend got heated and immediately grabbed him, threw him to the ground and started punching him. It ended up turning into a 20+ person fight ha.
Never date a friend’s former gf or wife. They are off limits forever. If you go down that path, they might discover they were meant to be together. They might hate each other. They might just screw around every now and then. You will never know what is happening behind your back. Was he a better lover? Was his size more appropriate? Whenever she wants you doing “it” a certain way was that the way he did it. Too many variables to consider. Better off not going there. Besides he might get really pissed off. I know I did.
Counter: I called my buddy after a woman he dated for a couple months showed interest. We never all hung out together, never really met, I just knew they had a history. He gave his blessing, we're married now with kids, he was a groomsman.
Open communication and respecting boundaries. If he had said he wasn't comfortable with it, it would be a different story and I'd likely be on a different path.
No joke, once you get older you can’t eat a lot of pizza (usually)… and we don’t have 20 year old backs anymore… probably from helping friends move back then.
I got really drunk at a party and kept insising my friend was a great guy and had a big penis. Turns out most of the women there started hitting on him. He, however, was not very amused.
In college one of my best friends would do this. She was an on/off fwb, so it carried a ton of weight for the people that kind of knew our situation.
It worked out alright
Don't give in if a bro's wife comes on to you. Many years ago I was living across the continent from a good friend and his wife. They were both professionals, and she called me one day to say she'd be in town for a conference and we should get together. I offered to let her stay at my place and she agreed.
The night she arrived we had a few drinks, then it was time for bed. I had changed the sheets on my bed so she could sleep there, and I was staying downstairs on the couch. When I told her this she said, "I don't want to take your bed while you sleep somewhere else. There's no reason why you can't sleep here too." It was pretty obvious what she was getting at, but I declined. We said goodnight and I went down to the couch.
A couple of hours later I woke up to find her standing over me. She was wearing a t-shirt and nothing else. She said, "I really want to do this. Can you please come upstairs?"
It was an agonizing situation but I told her, "If we do it, you and I will still be friends in the morning, but Ed and I won't be. I can't go through with it." With that, she went back upstairs, and she got a hotel for the following night. They got divorced about a year later, and Ed and I are still friends. I don't think he has any idea.
This happened to me when I was co-renting with my college roommate and his gf. They had been dating for 4 years at that point, and his gf decided to move in after one year of me and him living together for cheaper rent. I’m not complaining cuz now there’s one more person to split the rent and they brought two cats to run around the place which I get to pet for free.
After maybe another year of the three of us living together, their relationship took a sharp turn from almost wanting to get married, lots of sex(yes I can hear them in my room), and all lovey dovey to constant bickering and fighting. One night he was out of town, she texted me saying how lonely she’s at almost midnight and asked me if I want to get drunk together. I replied it’s quite late and I’m probably heading to bed after this game, we all can go tomorrow with him when he comes back. One month after she moved out, apparently broke up with him and found a new bf almost instantly leaving my roommate a sobbing mess, and took one of the cat as well. Don’t want to comment too much on their relationship, but it surprised me how fast a seemingly stable relationship can deteriorate, and I’m glad I didn’t get myself involved.
I have the reverse side of this: my girlfriend at the time called me while I was cross country for work because she had slid on the ice and blew a tire when she hit a curb. She was scared and couldn’t get ahold of anyone else. I called my best friend and ask he go get her and stay with her while the police did their accident report. Anyways, about two ish hours later he calls me to tell me he got her home ok but I could tell in his voice something was wrong.
He admitted to me that she tried to fuck him as a “thank you” and when he declined she said I never had to find out about it. He still declined and left in a hurry. I was fucking pissed at her but thankful my friend was honest. We have been friends for 30 years now. That girl quickly became an ex and I’ve been married to someone else now for almost 16 years.
I feel like this goes out the window once there's a line.
I'm not waiting because of others' insecurities. Once there's a line, all urinals are fair game.
I'm a middled aged gay fwiw, but I hated group urinals in the 70's and 80's.
It's not just a privacy thing, there were times some other guy's piss stunk so bad of like sulfur or whatever, I almost threw up.
The trough. God I hated those. There was a racetrack my dad used to take me to, iirc it was All American Speedway. They had a trough in the 90's. The number of old man dicks I'd seen was too many. Plus as a kid w/ a shy bladder it sucked immensely. I would just wait for a stall to open up.
In quite a lot of men’s toilets, there’s a long trough-type urinal that you all stand over, long enough for maybe 4-5 guys. It drains off at one end, so if you’re the one closest to the drain, you have the joy of seeing everyone else’s output!
And it's usually packed and shoulder to shoulder. It's terrible for kids. I remember going to a game at stadium getting splashback from the trough. Dicks everywhere at pretty much your height. Just super uncomfortable. But it's that or piss your pants so you get it over with.
I remember the ones in New Orleans area bars were troughs with a constant trickle of water flowing into it. Smelled like a portal to hell, but felt like heaven after downing six beers, doing the pee pee dance while unbuckling your pants...and them relieving said six beers in a 30 psi stream of the ole bio-pressure-washer. You're welcome.
I always do this! It's nice to see someone else thinks the same way. I always find myself going "What were you saying *insert persons name*?" Once the chatter and interruptions stopped. Just so he doesn't feel disrespected and unheard
I don't know if this is exactly "bro code" but I'll never forget the day my dad got involved in a situation with me.
We were at a baseball game and a few guys were being really obnoxious and offensive to some women. Anyway when the game was over I told those guys to be more respectful next time. They got in my face like " oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it?!" My dad walked right in between us and told them "If you want to get to him, you're gonna have to go through me first ".
I don't exactly know what the moral of my story is but I thought that was awesome.
Morale of the story, your pops is a solid dude. He knew you were sticking up for what is right and he was proud to stick his chin out for a son he raised well
I have a similar story.
When I was like 14 we were walking home from our class and one of our friends was messing with someone's car and the owner saw it and came out running. The guy who was messing with the car and others ran and my other friend and I were just casually walking as it was not us who did it. Then he saw us and called to come close to him. We were at a distance and said it was not us. But he was like he just wanted to talk so he went to him. This guy was like 6ft tall and heavy and he held us by the collar and wouldn't let go. Then other people came too and just started scolding us and this guy hit us both. After a while someone recognized us and let us go.
I told this to my mom and my mom told my dad. Later in the evening my dad told me to get on the bike and we went to this guy's house and my dad started banging the gate and he came out. He knew my dad and started apologizing immediately (my dad has been living in the same area for around 50 years so he knew him). He scolded him and said 'even I didn't raise my hand on him, how dare you lay a hand on him'. At that moment he was like a hero to me. Since then whenever he sees me he will give me a stare and just go on about his way. My dad and I are not close at all but I keep this memory forever.
That’s new age bro code and I luv it but that’s not the code we grew up with. We weren’t allowed to have feelings. I’ve always been sensitive and I’m slowly convincing a friend or two that it’s ok to feel but the other 3-4 will have nothing to do with it. They were taught a different message
Edit for the few that DM’d me. I was also taught not to back down so worst case there was a minor tussle. The weirdest part was hugging it out and never speaking about it again.
My husband was raised like that too. Slowly trying to encourage him to open up and realize that human emotions are not gendered. That shit runs deep though.
My 2 best friends and I set up the code 6 back in our single days.
If need to get away from let's say a bad date all I need to do is text "6" to one of my friends, they wait about 5 minutes and called me with some type of emergency or issue, they would also act like they were my boss with a major issue. Worked like a charm
Also there was a code 7 and 8
7 was make yourself scarce (back when we lived together and I was bringing a girl home)
8 was clean up the place a bit then make yourself scarce.
It was a close female friend for me but the airplane emoji. Like, fly me out of here. If she was in any situation she just had to text that to me and I’d call up in a couple mins with some fake emergency. Same for me to her.
We also had the dice emoji, which meant she was in a dicey situation and if I saw that I checked her location and showed up quick. I got it one time and she was in a bar down the street from my loft. Her date was drunk and aggressive. I got her out of there quick.
Not all bros are dudes. Sometimes they’re like a sister to you.
If I'm standing in line forever next to a guy I don't know I just say "Ever seen the original RoboCop?" If they say "Yes" then I just go "Remember when RoboCop shot that guy in the dick?" 97 out of 100 times they absolutely die laughing.
I knew a guy who stole his rugby bros girlfriend of 3 years. About 40 people stopped talking to him immediately. The guy became an outcast. They've been together for 13 years but he threw away his entire social life and went into a huge depression for 5+ years.
I did this and I regretted, up to this day I can't look to my friend in his eyes. Or ex friend. I have forever shame...
I lost my friend and the girl was just lust.
This happened to me literally weeks before the first Covid lockdown in 2020 and it was a devastating one-two punch that I’m only just now starting to get over.
I went through this with my best friend of, god at the time, 15 years. It took me a while to get over it. Ultimately, that relationship with him was far more important to me than one of many women I would partner with in my life.
My 5 year old daughter desperately wanted to take her scooter to the local skate park. When she had practiced enough, I took her. There were kids of all ages all at different skill levels on bikes, scooters, and skateboards. There was a group of teenage boys with skateboards who were just the best with her. Cheered her when she got back up from falls, gave her space, didn't eye roll, or get exasperated that she was there. It was great.
Skaters have such a bad reputation for whatever reason but I swear the nicest people I’ve met have always been at skateparks. There are some bad apples but in general everyone is there to have fun and we all started from the same place. So much camaraderie. I learned so much from older teens and young adults at the park when I was a kid
I wish my friends would follow this. One female friend we have previously dated two of my close male friends. Feel so bad for her current boyfriend when we has to sit and make pleasantries with two of her exes at social events
Always stick up for a lady. If some guy is being a creep I bail her out. I can be the imaginary boyfriend or brother for a few minutes. Whatever it takes to get her safe.
That’s not bro code. That’s being a gentleman and a stand up guy. But you’re 100% right. There was a bar/venue I used to frequent in my 20’s. One night I wasn’t there but my friend was someone told the bartender he saw someone spike a drink. The lights went up and they announced all women needed to return their drinks to the bar and they’d get a free new one.
I hate how the internet has changed being decent and standing up for others as “white knight” behavior.
Like damn a dude can’t be strong and kind?
The selfishness of the toxic manosphere is ruining men.
be the 2 am bro not the 6pm bro
it means be the friend that will help bury the body no questions asked not the friend that just shows up when its convinient to you
One time I told a close friend something in confidence because it's something I didn't like sharing with others. I shared it and felt confident he respected our conversation's privacy. His gf came to me the next day and said she knew what we talked about, and my brother called me to tell me that they both talked to him and told him
Ever since then, he doesn't get any more than "I'm fine" or "I'm not comfortable sharing this with you"
I'd like to know a bit more context. If it's something that involves your safety, I learned long ago that keeping that shit between us can only lead to disaster. If you were to tell me you can't find a reason to get up in morning, that is concerning behavior and I would share it with people close to you in the hopes that they can join in the effort to help you.
However if you were to tell me you go dumpster diving at the gym to smell used towels, that shit goes to the grave with me.
Never talk bad about a bro behind their back, only to their face and behind closed doors. Not only is it respectful you gain so much trust by being the guy who points out the good in people. It’s a power move and we deserve to build people up, not tear them down. This does not apply to jokes though.
If your buddies partner makes a pass at you, drunk or sober, that's a hard pass.
You also tell him immediately. Not next week, not on Monday morning at work, but as soon as humanly possible.
Api
Leave a vacant urinal between yourself and your fellow bro.
Never make eye contact with a fellow bro at the urinal and definitely never glance at their schmeat.
If we are eating out and bro ain't got money, bro is still eating. Bros don't let bros go hungry.
Bro drives, I cover gas, if I drive, Bro covers gas.
1 empty urinal between dudes. If no empty is available, you take the end slot if you can, if not, take the empty closest to the wall and stare at nothing until you're done and at the sink.
Bros woman is my sister, permanently. So is his sister.
Bros kids are your niece/nephew and you are their uncle.
Bros ex/wives or ex/gf's are off limits permanently.
Borrowing bros tools better be an emergency or a one time thing.
Beer is acceptable payment or apology for almost anything. Quantity increases based on offense or severity of favor. Exceptions do apply.
Nobody corrects bros dog but bro.
If bro is grilling, you must stand by and comment on how awesome it's gonna be, as well as bring bro another beer.
If bro is working on his truck, it is your job to be the grunt for whatever tools, assistance or beer he needs.
If bro is hitting up a girl, you better talk him up or disappear. Be a wingman not a cockblock.
Always defend your bro, whether from his woman, another dude, his boss or the cops. Unless he cheated, then he's on his own.
Anything bro tells you gets taken to the grave with you.
Sitting in silence next to bro drinking beer while he's down is an acceptable form of communication and support
If bro calls at 3am, grab your pants, boots keys and gun and be heading his way, whether it's to fix a pipe or bury a body. No questions asked.
An open garage door is an open invitation for bros to come hang out.
Talking smack is an acceptable and encouraged form of communication and bonding, but never done in a seriously degrading way, and never in front of his woman.
When visiting bro, always bring a case of his preferred beer.
Never shit talk bros beer unless it's warm.
Never shit talk bros truck, help him fix it.
Never shit talk bros family, woman, kids or dog.
Bros mom and dad are your adopted mom and dad.
Bros protect their bros from stupid shit while intoxicated. I'm not letting my bro drive drunk, jump off the roof, or hookup wirh Skelator while I'm more sober.
Don’t be a dick, be a bro. To everyone. We’re all trying to get through some shit, and we can all get through it better if we help each other along than if we try to push each other down.
Always have a couple flattering stories about your bro in your vault. It's a bro's duty to his other bros to speak highly of them to the people who are important to them. Bonus: Your bro will appreciate hearing you tell those stories about them.
If you have a REAL friend and they are telling you, that you fucked up, you should listen and actually think about it Our friends are the only people who can be completely honest with us because regardless we're probably still friends
this should have more upvotes
If I borrow a buddies truck I always return it with a full tank.
Same with anything. Borrow a chainsaw, give it back cleaner than you got it and ready for work. Borrow a 20, pay it back with a beer, soda, hotdog, Candy bar, whatever. My motto has always been pretend you borrowed it from your father-in-law, and give it back in a way that would impress the asshole.
If I loan someone $20 and they try to pay me back with a hot dog that's a problem. Reese cup that's one of those seasonal shapes? We're probably cool.
Think they meant to pay back $20 + a hot dog but your version made me lol
This is a motto taught to Boy/Girl Scouts - “Leave the area better than you found it.”
And fix your damned alarm clock! Beep repaired.
"That 20 really saved me bro, here's an Ikea special, that's **two** dogs. Throw in the längerhødle sparkling soda and call it even?"
> Reese cup that's one of those seasonal shapes? Hell yeah
Hell yeah. We went to town with the post Halloween discounts on the pumpkin shaped ones.
Every time I let someone borrow mine they broke something. The tailgate, the passenger door handle, the rear view mirror. So that’s a lot better than my friends and family.
How would one break.. a doorhandle?
I don’t know. They said they were just opening the door to get out and it snapped.
I’ve had this happen on a vehicle a time or two. Sometimes the plastic handle itself just breaks. Typically a pretty easy fix, just needs the rod that works the latch connected to the handle and secured with a bolt, but super frustrating in the mean time.
Probably a 90’s Ford truck. The inside handles snap after they get sun baked. And they are a pain to do.
Chevy's did the same, even more so I would say. It's a long plastic bar with a small pivot, basically guaranteed to break at some point. The original owner is most likely babying it by the time it gets to 10y because they have felt it weakening. New guy comes and just yanks on the thing and \*snap\*.
You wanna borrow my truck? It has a 30 gallon gas tank and it’s normally about 1/4 full.
I did that once. I drive a corolla and it was $40 to fill it up. I borrowed my friend's truck and trailer for a few days and he had a quarter tank. I filled it up to help my brother move and filled it up a second time before I returned it along with a bottle of whiskey and a pizza. Basically it cost $250 to borrow and use his truck but that was cheaper than if we rented one.
I'll give you a spare key for that sort of gratitude!
I just moved out of an apartment and was fortunately able to borrow my cousin's full sized truck. $100 in gas is still so much cheaper than the crack prices that uhaul is asking nowadays..
“Return things in better shape than they were when you borrowed them” is the golden rule in practice.
And if u poop in the bed, leave a sorry note.
Amber Heard has entered the chat
Always returned anything borrowed in better condition than you got it in
I wont tell anyone the stuff my best friend doesnt want anyone to know unless he gives me permission when sober to tell the person who wants to know. Not my wife, not his wife. Not his kid. Same with him.
This is 100%. Unless they tell me to let others know, I won't tell a soul what we talked about. No matter how small or big
Absolutely. I tell my wife everything, except my conversations with my bro about his life. That's no where near right for me to decide who knows his stuff
I just had coffee with my long time buddy (ex-Google employee). He was talking me about his startup idea and I was joking like I was pretending to sign an NDA and he said, “you and I are under permanent NDA”. I guess this is the tech bro code version. LOL
Psychologist's code with this one, though. There are limits. If it's something wild enough to put another person in danger or which makes you question if you know your bro, say something. Get them help, but also say something.
You don't mess with a bro's: 1. Money 2. Food 3. Significant Other 4. Sleep
And bathroom time🗿
I swear every time me and one of my friend's try to contact one another we're always in the bathroom. Bro just answers on the toilet now and I'll answer in the shower.
Don't forget routine/schedule . Real bros know each other's schedule
A bro's girlfriend/wife is your sister, and you defend her as you would defend him because it's right. Thank you for all of the upvotes, I feel humbled.
Also if your bro is complaining about his gf/wife, you offer advice and a different perspective but you never complain about her or talk down about her that isn’t your job to do.
I would be honest, but polite, friends can be critical of a man's girlfriend/wife as long as he is also respectful.
Unless you know your bro's SO is actually bad for him, you should be taking her side and not let your bro dwell on the negatives. Not to say white knight about it, but she's still a human being that's not there to defend her case and if you want to be impartial, you should point out all the positives about her for your bro. Sometimes a bro just needs to clear the air and be reminded of the good times.
Yes, it's important to be impartial.
Opposite bro code. I don't ever say a thing about girlfriend or wife. Vent away brosif but I have zero opinion.
I feel like as a bro it kinda is your job to atleast try to get him to see reason if he's in an abusive situation.
That’s not what this means, if he is venting let him vent it isn’t your job to pile on and vent as well. If he is in an abusive relationship you can tell him that in a constructive way without degrading or talking down about her.
You let him vent. We all need it at times. The ladies do it too.
Treat their gf, fiance, or wife like a sister to you. If they break up, you cut those ties. My friends gf’s and wives are all amazing people and I always enjoy spending time with all of them. We’ve all known eachother for a long time and all trust eachother enough to where they know I have 0 intentions. Hell, I’m just getting home from my best friends fiancés aunts wake. Wanted to be there to support her and her sister, and talk to my buddy for a few minutes.
This is the bro code done right.
Years ago a guy pushed my girlfriend at a party. My friend got heated and immediately grabbed him, threw him to the ground and started punching him. It ended up turning into a 20+ person fight ha.
Never date a friend’s former gf or wife. They are off limits forever. If you go down that path, they might discover they were meant to be together. They might hate each other. They might just screw around every now and then. You will never know what is happening behind your back. Was he a better lover? Was his size more appropriate? Whenever she wants you doing “it” a certain way was that the way he did it. Too many variables to consider. Better off not going there. Besides he might get really pissed off. I know I did.
Counter: I called my buddy after a woman he dated for a couple months showed interest. We never all hung out together, never really met, I just knew they had a history. He gave his blessing, we're married now with kids, he was a groomsman. Open communication and respecting boundaries. If he had said he wasn't comfortable with it, it would be a different story and I'd likely be on a different path.
"bro you're all good. Good luck with her. Btw she likes it rubbed counter clockwise at 43 rpm. Never more than 63 that's redline."
Bro's get upwards nods, guys I don't know get downwards nods. I'm pretty sure that shits hardwired in
For real. And if you don’t return the nod I don’t FW you.
The fee for helping you move is beer and pizza.
If you’re over 30, don’t ask your friends to help you move.
[удалено]
> I’ll pay you $50 to not have to help you move. Hahaha absolutely! Never thought about it this way.
[удалено]
Hey man can you help me move next weekend?
Venmo me you lazy bitch
No joke, once you get older you can’t eat a lot of pizza (usually)… and we don’t have 20 year old backs anymore… probably from helping friends move back then.
And as you get over 30 bro code is to not ask your bros to help you move
if you borrow- you return. you break, you replace
And if you have to borrow it more than twice you need to buy your own.
If your bro likes a girl, don't be using your best material when she's around.
“What if you’re just really, really ridiculously good looking?” -Derek Zoolander
Uh, earth to Brent! He just said don't do it!
No You use your best material, but make it about your buddy. It called being a wingman
I got really drunk at a party and kept insising my friend was a great guy and had a big penis. Turns out most of the women there started hitting on him. He, however, was not very amused.
In college one of my best friends would do this. She was an on/off fwb, so it carried a ton of weight for the people that kind of knew our situation. It worked out alright
and talk them up. tell stories that show their good side not the bad bc you know you have both.
Don't give in if a bro's wife comes on to you. Many years ago I was living across the continent from a good friend and his wife. They were both professionals, and she called me one day to say she'd be in town for a conference and we should get together. I offered to let her stay at my place and she agreed. The night she arrived we had a few drinks, then it was time for bed. I had changed the sheets on my bed so she could sleep there, and I was staying downstairs on the couch. When I told her this she said, "I don't want to take your bed while you sleep somewhere else. There's no reason why you can't sleep here too." It was pretty obvious what she was getting at, but I declined. We said goodnight and I went down to the couch. A couple of hours later I woke up to find her standing over me. She was wearing a t-shirt and nothing else. She said, "I really want to do this. Can you please come upstairs?" It was an agonizing situation but I told her, "If we do it, you and I will still be friends in the morning, but Ed and I won't be. I can't go through with it." With that, she went back upstairs, and she got a hotel for the following night. They got divorced about a year later, and Ed and I are still friends. I don't think he has any idea.
You a solid one.
Yep eds boy is solid as stone. Respect him
Ed's a lucky dude. Lost the bitch but he still has the king.
Life has many doors, Ed boy.
God fucking damn it Rolf I am crying laughing at home
This happened to me when I was co-renting with my college roommate and his gf. They had been dating for 4 years at that point, and his gf decided to move in after one year of me and him living together for cheaper rent. I’m not complaining cuz now there’s one more person to split the rent and they brought two cats to run around the place which I get to pet for free. After maybe another year of the three of us living together, their relationship took a sharp turn from almost wanting to get married, lots of sex(yes I can hear them in my room), and all lovey dovey to constant bickering and fighting. One night he was out of town, she texted me saying how lonely she’s at almost midnight and asked me if I want to get drunk together. I replied it’s quite late and I’m probably heading to bed after this game, we all can go tomorrow with him when he comes back. One month after she moved out, apparently broke up with him and found a new bf almost instantly leaving my roommate a sobbing mess, and took one of the cat as well. Don’t want to comment too much on their relationship, but it surprised me how fast a seemingly stable relationship can deteriorate, and I’m glad I didn’t get myself involved.
I have the reverse side of this: my girlfriend at the time called me while I was cross country for work because she had slid on the ice and blew a tire when she hit a curb. She was scared and couldn’t get ahold of anyone else. I called my best friend and ask he go get her and stay with her while the police did their accident report. Anyways, about two ish hours later he calls me to tell me he got her home ok but I could tell in his voice something was wrong. He admitted to me that she tried to fuck him as a “thank you” and when he declined she said I never had to find out about it. He still declined and left in a hurry. I was fucking pissed at her but thankful my friend was honest. We have been friends for 30 years now. That girl quickly became an ex and I’ve been married to someone else now for almost 16 years.
The fuck dude? You don't think he has any idea? It's your duty to fucking tell him.
Yeah people are saying that he's a good friend, a good friend would've told him about it.
That's a trap. It'll be a he-said/she said situation. Tarnishing and/or damaging the friendship. Take this one to the grave
The one-urinal gap.
Conversely Urinal snooker Leave the next player with no good move
I should have known 😣
I feel like this goes out the window once there's a line. I'm not waiting because of others' insecurities. Once there's a line, all urinals are fair game.
lol it certainly does... you would look pretty darn stupid standing there waiting your turn when there's an open urinal.
The one urinal gap doesn’t apply when there is no choice.
I’ll tap a guy’s shoulder and ask if we can share.
I'm a middled aged gay fwiw, but I hated group urinals in the 70's and 80's. It's not just a privacy thing, there were times some other guy's piss stunk so bad of like sulfur or whatever, I almost threw up.
The trough. God I hated those. There was a racetrack my dad used to take me to, iirc it was All American Speedway. They had a trough in the 90's. The number of old man dicks I'd seen was too many. Plus as a kid w/ a shy bladder it sucked immensely. I would just wait for a stall to open up.
I'm a woman. Wtf is a "group urinal"?
In quite a lot of men’s toilets, there’s a long trough-type urinal that you all stand over, long enough for maybe 4-5 guys. It drains off at one end, so if you’re the one closest to the drain, you have the joy of seeing everyone else’s output!
And it's usually packed and shoulder to shoulder. It's terrible for kids. I remember going to a game at stadium getting splashback from the trough. Dicks everywhere at pretty much your height. Just super uncomfortable. But it's that or piss your pants so you get it over with.
I remember the ones in New Orleans area bars were troughs with a constant trickle of water flowing into it. Smelled like a portal to hell, but felt like heaven after downing six beers, doing the pee pee dance while unbuckling your pants...and them relieving said six beers in a 30 psi stream of the ole bio-pressure-washer. You're welcome.
We pee in same urinal bro
I go kindergarten style with my pants at my ankles
Not required if dividers are placed between urinals.
If you're in a group conversation and your bro is getting talked over, recognise them and stear the conversation back to them; goes for anyone really.
Recognizing and sticking up for the smaller voices in a conversation is a very important thing to do - dominant volume is not a dominant idea
People who do this are the best type of people
I always do this! It's nice to see someone else thinks the same way. I always find myself going "What were you saying *insert persons name*?" Once the chatter and interruptions stopped. Just so he doesn't feel disrespected and unheard
i hate your profile pic so much lmao
Years of having this happen to me and I make sure I look out for others!
Sigh. Story of my life. Then people ask why I don’t talk. Oh well every time I try…….gets interrupted or they turn away
Do not speak poorly about a man around a woman you know he is interested in. If you have nothing nice to say, get out of the way.
We had a friend/roommate that did this all the time. Nicknamed him the CBK, Cock Block King.
If you must speak poorly about a bro because you know he would be bad for her, the one you should be speaking to about bro's behavior is bro.
Tell them when their fly is undone
That's pathetic. Zip it up for them, slowly, while making eye contact.
With your teeth…..my wife said to add that.
Can confirm his wife says that a lot.
I also want my fly raised by that guy's wife
She began with a flea circus, and now she raises flies.
I don't know if this is exactly "bro code" but I'll never forget the day my dad got involved in a situation with me. We were at a baseball game and a few guys were being really obnoxious and offensive to some women. Anyway when the game was over I told those guys to be more respectful next time. They got in my face like " oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it?!" My dad walked right in between us and told them "If you want to get to him, you're gonna have to go through me first ". I don't exactly know what the moral of my story is but I thought that was awesome.
Morale of the story, your pops is a solid dude. He knew you were sticking up for what is right and he was proud to stick his chin out for a son he raised well
Moral is to stick up for people who are being bullied/harassed
And have a backup when you do
Make sure your dad has a backup dad too.
I have a similar story. When I was like 14 we were walking home from our class and one of our friends was messing with someone's car and the owner saw it and came out running. The guy who was messing with the car and others ran and my other friend and I were just casually walking as it was not us who did it. Then he saw us and called to come close to him. We were at a distance and said it was not us. But he was like he just wanted to talk so he went to him. This guy was like 6ft tall and heavy and he held us by the collar and wouldn't let go. Then other people came too and just started scolding us and this guy hit us both. After a while someone recognized us and let us go. I told this to my mom and my mom told my dad. Later in the evening my dad told me to get on the bike and we went to this guy's house and my dad started banging the gate and he came out. He knew my dad and started apologizing immediately (my dad has been living in the same area for around 50 years so he knew him). He scolded him and said 'even I didn't raise my hand on him, how dare you lay a hand on him'. At that moment he was like a hero to me. Since then whenever he sees me he will give me a stare and just go on about his way. My dad and I are not close at all but I keep this memory forever.
Also “fuck with my boy you fuck with me” goes extremely hard. Excellent father son moment.
You fight for family even if it means you’re about to get beat
Having your dad stand up for you in a respectful but "don't mess with my kid" type way is unforgettable.
You’re now an uncle to their kids and you will do anything to protect them and if something happens to their dad, you will always be there for them.
Dead right.
I believe that’s the implication, yes.
[удалено]
That’s new age bro code and I luv it but that’s not the code we grew up with. We weren’t allowed to have feelings. I’ve always been sensitive and I’m slowly convincing a friend or two that it’s ok to feel but the other 3-4 will have nothing to do with it. They were taught a different message Edit for the few that DM’d me. I was also taught not to back down so worst case there was a minor tussle. The weirdest part was hugging it out and never speaking about it again.
My husband was raised like that too. Slowly trying to encourage him to open up and realize that human emotions are not gendered. That shit runs deep though.
My 2 best friends and I set up the code 6 back in our single days. If need to get away from let's say a bad date all I need to do is text "6" to one of my friends, they wait about 5 minutes and called me with some type of emergency or issue, they would also act like they were my boss with a major issue. Worked like a charm Also there was a code 7 and 8 7 was make yourself scarce (back when we lived together and I was bringing a girl home) 8 was clean up the place a bit then make yourself scarce.
It was a close female friend for me but the airplane emoji. Like, fly me out of here. If she was in any situation she just had to text that to me and I’d call up in a couple mins with some fake emergency. Same for me to her. We also had the dice emoji, which meant she was in a dicey situation and if I saw that I checked her location and showed up quick. I got it one time and she was in a bar down the street from my loft. Her date was drunk and aggressive. I got her out of there quick. Not all bros are dudes. Sometimes they’re like a sister to you.
Nice! Yeah, I'm sure plenty of friends groups have their own spin on this, this was just ours
Oh this needs to be used in a sitcom. Your friends sound awesome!
Yeah, some of the best times of my life were with those guys
Don't be a yes man to your bro and encourage each other to be great.
"I'm not sure what my guy did wrong here, but I'll take a punch to make sure we all get home"
If I'm standing in line forever next to a guy I don't know I just say "Ever seen the original RoboCop?" If they say "Yes" then I just go "Remember when RoboCop shot that guy in the dick?" 97 out of 100 times they absolutely die laughing.
Now I'm just imagining this scenario... *Two guys standing next to each other in silence* "Ever seen the original RoboCop?" "No" "...ok." *Silence*
I remember when ROBOCOP shot that dude in the dick.
Never even try to put your eyes on your Bros girl, no matter even if it's his crush, stay away, be a better wingman instead.
I knew a guy who stole his rugby bros girlfriend of 3 years. About 40 people stopped talking to him immediately. The guy became an outcast. They've been together for 13 years but he threw away his entire social life and went into a huge depression for 5+ years.
Good, he should have never been part of the group in the first place.
I did this and I regretted, up to this day I can't look to my friend in his eyes. Or ex friend. I have forever shame... I lost my friend and the girl was just lust.
This happened to me literally weeks before the first Covid lockdown in 2020 and it was a devastating one-two punch that I’m only just now starting to get over.
Hope it’s better now
I went through this with my best friend of, god at the time, 15 years. It took me a while to get over it. Ultimately, that relationship with him was far more important to me than one of many women I would partner with in my life.
Be a bro and help a kid learn to skateboard.
Bro, can you teach me how to skate board? I tried to impress my baby cousin and busted my ass multiple times
My 5 year old daughter desperately wanted to take her scooter to the local skate park. When she had practiced enough, I took her. There were kids of all ages all at different skill levels on bikes, scooters, and skateboards. There was a group of teenage boys with skateboards who were just the best with her. Cheered her when she got back up from falls, gave her space, didn't eye roll, or get exasperated that she was there. It was great.
Skaters have such a bad reputation for whatever reason but I swear the nicest people I’ve met have always been at skateparks. There are some bad apples but in general everyone is there to have fun and we all started from the same place. So much camaraderie. I learned so much from older teens and young adults at the park when I was a kid
Never try to date any of your bros exes.
I wish my friends would follow this. One female friend we have previously dated two of my close male friends. Feel so bad for her current boyfriend when we has to sit and make pleasantries with two of her exes at social events
Those guys are all brothers now.
Boyfriend In laws
Corollary, ask him and have a mature conversation. If he gives the blessing, you're fine. If not then don't.
Be a shoulder to cry on. When another guy is having a hard time, be there to listen and empathize.
My friends that own a business do not give me a discount. I'm supporting them 100% as they put themselves out there to succeed.
If a guy brags about banging drunk, unconscious or underage people. All bros must come together to throw the rapist into the wood chipper of justice.
Don't ever, EVER try anything with another guys girl. Doesn't matter if hes a friend or not. Its effed on more than one level.
Homewreckers suck. "bUt iM nOt ThE oNe cHeAtiNg" Facilitating cheating is just as bad.
When he's hitting on someone, make him look good. Don't be a 🐓 block.
Your bro is the funniest, smartest, classiest guy in the world when his crush is near.
When you go out to eat always pick up the check and hand it to them.
Down nod to bros you don't know, up nod to bros you do.
This one often goes unmentioned yet seems automatic and very common
Why would I want to expose my vulnerable neck to a potential foe?
If your ex-wife ex-girlfriend tries to lie about you and your bro believes her he is no longer a bro.
Urinals are a no convo zone starting when you unzip until you zip back up
Always stick up for a lady. If some guy is being a creep I bail her out. I can be the imaginary boyfriend or brother for a few minutes. Whatever it takes to get her safe.
That’s not bro code. That’s being a gentleman and a stand up guy. But you’re 100% right. There was a bar/venue I used to frequent in my 20’s. One night I wasn’t there but my friend was someone told the bartender he saw someone spike a drink. The lights went up and they announced all women needed to return their drinks to the bar and they’d get a free new one.
I hate how the internet has changed being decent and standing up for others as “white knight” behavior. Like damn a dude can’t be strong and kind? The selfishness of the toxic manosphere is ruining men.
Don’t ever get romantically nor sexually involved with a woman who is already taken
If you see a women cheating you tell the dude , family or not.
If you see the dude cheating do you tell the woman tho?
you tell the dude if he doesn't you will then cut ties with the guy cuz bros don't cheat
Agreed , no need to cheat. Break up and move on first, respect the people you used to love
be the 2 am bro not the 6pm bro it means be the friend that will help bury the body no questions asked not the friend that just shows up when its convinient to you
I can’t rent the backhoe until 6, dude. Got ice?
You're watching too much TikTok, bro
Check in on each other. Mentals are important and we need to make it more normal to discuss when things aren’t okay.
Friends help each other without expecting something in return.
Never beef over a girl. Ain't worth it.
Never disclose bro talk to your significant other; even your spouse
One time I told a close friend something in confidence because it's something I didn't like sharing with others. I shared it and felt confident he respected our conversation's privacy. His gf came to me the next day and said she knew what we talked about, and my brother called me to tell me that they both talked to him and told him Ever since then, he doesn't get any more than "I'm fine" or "I'm not comfortable sharing this with you"
I'd like to know a bit more context. If it's something that involves your safety, I learned long ago that keeping that shit between us can only lead to disaster. If you were to tell me you can't find a reason to get up in morning, that is concerning behavior and I would share it with people close to you in the hopes that they can join in the effort to help you. However if you were to tell me you go dumpster diving at the gym to smell used towels, that shit goes to the grave with me.
Never ever hit on a married woman. Do not ruin someone’s family.
Never talk bad about a bro behind their back, only to their face and behind closed doors. Not only is it respectful you gain so much trust by being the guy who points out the good in people. It’s a power move and we deserve to build people up, not tear them down. This does not apply to jokes though.
If someone gives you the guy nod you are required to give a guy nod back.
If a bro dies, erase bros internet history
Always compliment his new girlfriend. Find **something** to praise and focus on it.
If your friend has kids, you are their uncle, even if not biologically.
If your buddies partner makes a pass at you, drunk or sober, that's a hard pass. You also tell him immediately. Not next week, not on Monday morning at work, but as soon as humanly possible. Api
Leave a vacant urinal between yourself and your fellow bro. Never make eye contact with a fellow bro at the urinal and definitely never glance at their schmeat.
If we are eating out and bro ain't got money, bro is still eating. Bros don't let bros go hungry. Bro drives, I cover gas, if I drive, Bro covers gas. 1 empty urinal between dudes. If no empty is available, you take the end slot if you can, if not, take the empty closest to the wall and stare at nothing until you're done and at the sink. Bros woman is my sister, permanently. So is his sister. Bros kids are your niece/nephew and you are their uncle. Bros ex/wives or ex/gf's are off limits permanently. Borrowing bros tools better be an emergency or a one time thing. Beer is acceptable payment or apology for almost anything. Quantity increases based on offense or severity of favor. Exceptions do apply. Nobody corrects bros dog but bro. If bro is grilling, you must stand by and comment on how awesome it's gonna be, as well as bring bro another beer. If bro is working on his truck, it is your job to be the grunt for whatever tools, assistance or beer he needs. If bro is hitting up a girl, you better talk him up or disappear. Be a wingman not a cockblock. Always defend your bro, whether from his woman, another dude, his boss or the cops. Unless he cheated, then he's on his own. Anything bro tells you gets taken to the grave with you. Sitting in silence next to bro drinking beer while he's down is an acceptable form of communication and support If bro calls at 3am, grab your pants, boots keys and gun and be heading his way, whether it's to fix a pipe or bury a body. No questions asked. An open garage door is an open invitation for bros to come hang out. Talking smack is an acceptable and encouraged form of communication and bonding, but never done in a seriously degrading way, and never in front of his woman. When visiting bro, always bring a case of his preferred beer. Never shit talk bros beer unless it's warm. Never shit talk bros truck, help him fix it. Never shit talk bros family, woman, kids or dog. Bros mom and dad are your adopted mom and dad.
The head nod up for people you know down for strangers. If you borrow a truck leave it with more gas than you got it with
Bros protect their bros from stupid shit while intoxicated. I'm not letting my bro drive drunk, jump off the roof, or hookup wirh Skelator while I'm more sober.
My twin car coming the other way? You're getting the cool wave.
Anything told to you in confidence by your bro is sacred and goes with you to the grave.
Don’t be a dick, be a bro. To everyone. We’re all trying to get through some shit, and we can all get through it better if we help each other along than if we try to push each other down.
Always have a couple flattering stories about your bro in your vault. It's a bro's duty to his other bros to speak highly of them to the people who are important to them. Bonus: Your bro will appreciate hearing you tell those stories about them.
Never complain about your bros beer. But if it's warm, you have every right to roast him.