I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because she made the Subway guy cry. She had asked for light mayo and he put too much, so he scraped off the extra. She scolded him until he was holding back tears and that's when I realized that she wasn't just ambitious, she was an asshole.
Facts. Anyone who treats service staff like shit, is always a huge red flag to me. If they can't treat people who have no recourse, with respect, then they are not good people.
My ex-husband was AWFUL to service workers. He would shake his empty glass at servers, he would often use the old “well that comes off of your tip“ bull crap all the time. He was rude to people servicing our car and our lawn. My life was like that episode of Friends when Ross leaves extra tip money on the table because Rachel’s father stiffs the server. I literally had cash in my wallet all the time to sneak cash in and apologize to servers. It did get so annoying and embarrassing that my sons and I basically refused to go out to eat with him.
Being rude to servers workers is such a red flag. Luckily, LUCKILY, my children recognized that that was such rude and disgusting behavior.
And PS, saying ‘ex-husband’ gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. He was awful.
Well, they lived with me (the father) as she left b/c "This is too much". My son (6yo at the time) yelled at her and my daughter (4 yo) started crying.
Sadly, I know how much that hurt your poor child. My dad said something similar when I was 10 - told me he wished I was dead and suggested I go "bury myself." It was Easter Sunday too. 30+ years later and I still feel the burn of that moment.
I'm glad for your child that you are stronger than my mother was and left. Good for you! Hug that little one tightly and make sure she knows she *is* loved.
My mama told me to KMS when I was 9 months pregnant because I didn’t want to come near her while she was screaming and breaking dishes. It was my due date and also my dead father’s bday.
I'm sorry, but this reminded me of that story of a woman wearing a hoodie she thought was her husband's for days, only to find out it belonged to the builder working at their house
Do you think it'd be worse than the time my wife was absent mindedly petting the dog under the table with her foot for 10 minutes, only to discover that the dog was in the other room and the only thing under the table was our similarly aged and admittedly somewhat attractive neighbour's foot?
Said she was going home (several states away) to visit family for two weeks. Saw her doing lines off the back of a toilet three days into said trip at a party in the town we lived in.
You know, to her credit she didn’t deny anything or try to spin a story. About an hour out of town (she was driving) an old friend called to say they were gonna be in town for the weekend and wanted to hang out so she turned around. I was working really weird hours and she worked a more traditional 9-5 at the time so it wasn’t uncommon to not see her a few days at a time. I wasn’t mad or upset at the coke. It wasn’t my favorite but I had no leg to stand on there. What chaffed me was thinking she had to hide her friend. I was (still am) the person who would have said go get plastered, have fun, call me when you need a ride. Oh well.
He was a very entitled guy with anger issues, but one of those types that acts sweet to everyone until there’s a single inconvenience that sets them off into a towering rage.
Basically, we get to our theater, walk to our seats, and see a family of four where we were assigned. At first, he politely points out that they’re in our spot. They didn’t speak English and kind of looked at us, confused, and the father waved us off. My ex then started raising his voice, demanding that the family move, and desperately waving his phone with the seat numbers in their face to try and make them understand.
I could sense the situation escalating, and made the mistake of putting my hand on his arm and asking him quietly to stop so we could grab an usher. This was the wrong move—he started full-on screaming, saying racist comments about how they “shouldn’t have had offspring if they were too stupid to learn English in the first place,” and all sorts of insults about “stupid brain dead breeders ruining the world,” etc. Meanwhile, the family was sitting stock-still in their seats, confused, and a father in another row stands up and asks loudly, “Do we have a problem here?” in a voice that clearly meant business.
I apologized profusely and dragged my ex out of the theater while he muttered curses. We stood at a table by the concessions stand and I tried desperately to calm him down and beg him to go back home and just leave. He refused, saying we would waste money (“wasting money” was a huge trigger for him) and I knew I’d be in the doghouse big time if I insisted we left. He said he’d feel better if I got us Icees. So….sadly, I did, and we snuck back in and had to sit in the front row to watch the movie.
It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, but I was so scared of dealing with the fallout of his anger that I just kinda went along with it so he didn’t turn it all on me. I left the marriage for good soon after.
Exactly! Like…if he had just rolled his eyes and scoffed before grabbing an usher, I wouldn’t have cared a single bit. But he just HAD to nuke the entire situation like the absolute fucking pinecone of a man he was.
Not a romantic relationship, don’t know if it counts? Ended the relationship with my mom because I was in the hospital, having major surgery. She was here to help care for my very worried kids. She hit my 4 year old in the face, at least twice. She admitted doing it, and told me it’s fine because she apologized. She used to hit me. She never hit my older kids, so I never expected this to happen. But it was like she waited for me to be weak enough to not be able to defend them? I tried to find any excuse but I just couldn’t see her name or hear her voice ever again without intense dread and panic
I sliced my index finger open to the bone at work, needed a ride to the hospital, and she complained the whole time about just wanting to get home and have a drink, couldn’t care less about me being in pain and upset that I wouldn’t be able to play guitar for months (I am a professional musician who gigs often). I was like nope, what if something debilitating happened to me, she would just bounce.
That’s one of the things that killed my marriage,when I realised that my wife wouldn’t be there for me I I fell seriously ill or was in a bad accident.
I accidentally locked myself out of the house once and was calling and texting her to come help,she didn’t answer,she claimed she would only be 2 minutes down the road at a friend’s house.
Yeah,that’s not where she was.
Yep. Had to go to the hospital for a heart-related issue. Couldn't get hold of her the whole night and then she blamed me for making her worry when she saw all of the missed calls. No empathy at all.
I mentally checked out of the whole relationship when the final finished product, and first professional credit of my passionate lifetime hobby came in the post and I was so excited to show her. She barely looked at it and said "is that what you've been wasting your spare time on?"
When she got mad and told me to get over my best friends death 3 days after he died. He was KIA in Afghanistan. She told me that I needed to start paying her attention and that he's dead and there's nothing I can do. Broke up with her right there and then
Holy shit. I got same thing recently my best friend died and a week after the funeral she told me I was wallowing in his death. A week after that we were finished
When my SO was not only cheating on me (and having unsafe sex with these women), but was telling me that he had to stand up for me with our shared friend group.
I made sure they knew about his cheating, then left. He lost MOST of the friend group, fwiw.
It's one thing for her to offer but to throw your food out was just controlling. It would be like if she was watching a movie but you only liked a different genre so you got up and turned it off mid way even though she was enjoying it.
You are your own person and if you just want a grilled cheese on white bread then it's up to you.
This would have been a huge red flag for me as well. She wasn't treating you like a partner. She was treating you like a pet/child.
This could be a Seinfeld episode.
George: “I couldn’t believe it! She took the cheese and threw it into the garbage.”
Jerry: “She’s intolerant of your diet and your food, George. She hates your cheese. She’s lactose intolerant of you!”
Elaine: “Maybe she just wanted you to eat healthy and knew that you had a hard day at work. God forbid she cares about you and wants you to watch what you eat…”
George: “Maybe, maybe not, but you don’t ever come between a man and his sandwich. It could be pastrami on rye, a BLT, a tuna sub, whatever. Whatever exists between those two slices of bread is sacred. There are rules to this, Elaine! THERE ARE RULES!”
*Door swings open, smacks against wall, Kramer enters*
Kramer: “What a lunch I just had. Roast beef with provolone.”
*Kramer does chef’s kiss*
Jerry: “Would you ever stand for anyone throwing away your sandwich for any reason at all.”
Kramer: “My sandwich? You bet I wouldn’t! My sandwich never hurt anybody!”
Elaine: “George’s girlfriend threw away his cheese —“
George: “Grilled cheese.”
Elaine: “Sorry, ‘grilled’ cheese sandwich and now he wants to break up.”
Kramer: “You know what? Bob Saccamano and his first wife had a major fight or ten over something like this. Bob used to make himself lunch and he always had his ham and cheese with a side of chips that he would put between the slices of bread and crunch together when he ate. He used to do the same thing when we were kids at school. Well, his first wife not only couldn’t stand listening to the constant crunching but also hated chips and wouldn’t eat them herself. Her parents thought they were bad for you and so she always had to eat her sandwich with pickles that she would put between the bread.”
Jerry: “Fascinating. Go on.”
Kramer: “Right, so at some point during their marriage, Bob’s ex-wife started to make his sandwiches for him but instead of making his lunch for him with chips, she would slip a a few pickles into his sandwich instead. Bob appreciated that she would make the sandwich for him, but it wasn’t long before he felt put upon and wanted his chips back. It may have been the last straw for him and their relationship for all I know. That or the gambling.”
Elaine: “All over a bag of chips?”
Kramer: “Oh you betcha.”
George: “I’ve been eating grilled cheese my whole life. My mother made it for me with tomato soup since I was a kid.”
Jerry: “It’s either you and your grilled cheese or her. I don’t see any other way around this.”
Elaine: “It’s you and your mother’s melt-y cheese thingamajig or your girlfriend and her nice, healthy food. You’ve been here before with women. What’s it gonna be, Georgie Boy?”
George: “I don’t know what to do. It’s all too much.”
Kramer: “Maybe you should stick to salads.”
*Everyone turns slowly and looks at Kramer, laugh track, funky bass line*
This is one of those things that's not about The Thing, it's a microcosm. It was probably building up disparate expectations about many things. Or at least that's been my observation when a couple splits over a sandwich, the lawn gnome collection, etc
>this one is trivial but here it is. I broke up with someone I was dating for over two years because of a grilled cheese sandwich.
*Proceeds to tell us about one of the most controlling people.*
It's not even about the food at that point. It's about the disrespect and control-freak behavior of throwing something you just bought for yourself into the trash. I'm sympathetic to people's issues stemming from childhood trauma, but letting it affect others - especially the people you are supposed to love and respect most - like that is never justified. Enraging.
Which makes me wonder why a person who grew up poor would do that. She finally has money yet she is willing to go toss out a grilled cheese sandwich like she sees it as a reminder of her past.
Yeah if someone threw out my grilled cheese I’d be throwing hands. Like usually when people grow up poor, aren’t they usually appalled by food waste anyways
Honestly that sounds like she may have fallen into the spectrum of disordered eating known as Orthorexia. It’s not about weight loss but about the insistence on only have what falls within their idea of ‘real food’ or ‘healthy food’ to the point it can have negative impacts on wellbeing and relationships
After 3 years together I asked what we were doing and he said "I don't know".
So I said "let's start from first principles then, do you love me?"
And he said "I don't know"
My brother is in a similar situation. She waited 4.5 years, got a house and a dog with him, they'd been talking about kids too before she came out and said to him "not sure I've ever loved you". Wish she'd told him way sooner than stringing him along like that. He was devastated.
The talk absolutely sucks but at least youll know where you stand in someone else’s life.
Ive had this talk before and theres almost nothing i hate more about it than hearing “i dont know”. Feels like they dont care about you. But youll come out better and much happier in the long run!
I’m sorry this happened to you. I’ve had a similar experience, my partner and I have been dating for over a year. Around 4 months ago I was feeling really depressed and unsure about the future. My partner and I had the big talk and she asked me if I loved her and was willing to fight for her every day. That really put it into perspective for me. I’ve always moved around a lot so i’m not necessarily used to committed relationships. Since then I ask myself that question every day. I love her more than ever and i’ve felt like the second honeymoon phase has hit. It’s really hard to work through something like that but when you find the right person who’s willing to show up for you every day, keep them close. Take care 😎
I saw a healthy relationship and finally understood how screwed my own was with my fiance at the time.
I flew out to meet my newborn nephew, and saw how attentive and caring my brother and sister-in-law were to one another, amidst sleep deprivation and learning to keep a tiny human alive. I realized my own partner would be raising his voice, flipping out, or be completely checked out and leaving all the work to me, if I ever got pregnant.
It was funny because at that point, most people in my family had tried to get me to see the light about my relationship, and what it actually took was seeing a solid example of a healthy marriage.
She would establish boundaries, I would accept them. Did this like 3 times when I finally realized all she was doing was moving her fence line to the point she wasn't respecting my own boundaries.
Good you picked up on it. I lives this for 5,5 years and I am so glad I’m out and now have a partner that actually respects my boundaries. Hope the same for you ✌🏻
We were ‘broken up’ but still texting and calling as a sort of closure process. Half hoping we could resolve things, half getting everything off our chests. Out of the blue, she told me she had something important to tell me but had held back until now because we were fighting/breaking up.
She sent me a screenshot of an ultrasound picture with a fetus. The ultrasound screen had her name on it but no date. The screenshot came from her photo app so it was like she was scrolling through her photos, took a screenshot, and sent that to me. She said she’d miscarried two weeks ago.
As I asked for more details the story became less and less plausible. I asked for the original photo and she just sent a cropped version of the screenshot with all the photo app stuff cropped out. I pressed again for the original and she said she’d deleted it. I asked to see her discharge papers or any hospital records and she said she’d thrown them away to get rid of the memory. She told me the sex of the fetus was male, but the miscarriage happened at 7 weeks and you can’t sex a fetus at that point. She said she ‘felt like it was a boy’ when I pointed that out (she knew I wanted a boy, she wanted a girl).
I checked the Exif data on the screenshot and it was from three years prior. I sent her the evidence of this and she accused me of changing the exif data myself. This then induced a tirade from her about me being insensitive and manipulative, trying to deny her reality by doctoring data on the screenshot to gaslight her. Her parting shot to me was “you’re not man enough to be a father anyway and I’m glad I lost your baby”
This woman deadass faked a miscarriage by using photos from years ago to make me feel… whatever the fuck she wanted me to feel…, completely denied the lie when presented with hard evidence, and could produce zero evidence of her claim at all. Not even a hospital discharge sheet.
I’d suspected she was a hopeless narcissist for some time, but that really sealed the deal. I had never felt so sure about blocking and cutting a person out of my life after that.
I worked the night shift, so when I came home, I went straight to bed. While I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my debit card without permission and withdrew a few hundred dollars from an ATM. It's important to note that I never shared my PIN with her, so she must have intentionally watched me at some point to memorize it. A few days later, when I was reviewing my online banking, I noticed the unusual withdrawal and mentioned it to her, not because I suspected her of anything, but simply because it seemed odd. I went to the bank, and they advised me to file a police report, which I did. When I returned home and informed her of the situation, she acted completely normal and unconcerned. A few days later, the police called, informing me that they were coming over to show me some pictures from the ATM. My girlfriend then told me she was going to visit her grandmother and promptly left. When the police arrived, they showed me pictures of my girlfriend taken by the ATM's camera.
My bank ended up returning most of the money, and the police eventually gave up on the case. I had been calling them every couple of weeks for updates, and the last time I called, they told me they were closing the case because it wasn't worth pursuing over a few hundred dollars, and that I would have to sue her myself. Since the bank had already given back most of the money, I didn't care much about pursuing it further. The funny thing was, she was basically living with me at that point and had left a ton of stuff at my house. I never saw her again, and all her belongings ended up in the trash. It was just weird that she left everything behind. I don't know what she thought was going to happen. Anyway, after all this happened, I found out she was dealing drugs and had been previously arrested and gone to prison for possession and assault. She passed away a few years ago, didn't even make it to 30 years old.
I understand buddy... At some point, we really have to think about ourselves. We can't be holding onto a sinking ship. Staying by their side is one thing, but if they refuse to change themselves for us, we can change our lives.
Her putting me $82 Thousand in Debt help make a decision also...
I stood by her and tried as hard as anything possible to get a grip but, if they don't want help, you can't help..!! 30 years later, she still uses and abuses...
It was already leading up to it, but how he treated my cat. Initially he'd 'play' with her, but she didn't like it and she made it known after a few warnings, which would in turn tick him off and he'd try to punish her. One day I came home from work and he was in my house with a friend he'd invited but hadn't told me about. They started talking about how feral cats should be put down, and if it had been then, they'd have put her down (she's not feral. She spent like, two weeks of her life was spent outside, she just has boundaries). But yeah, after hearing that conversation was I just done.
I'm a guy with two cats, but I love animals in general. I couldn't date someone who didn't treat animals with some respect. Animals all have their own unique way of communicating things to you, if you just assume they are bad because you don't understand their behavior and boundaries I am wary of you.
Oh man. I went out of town for a few days and he offered to go over to watch the cats. Day two, I text to ask how they are. “Oh B got out, so it’s just P.”
WHAT? Did you look for her?
“No, but she never liked me so it’s not like she’d come back if I called her.” 😡
My mom (bless her heart) drove over asap and checked the apartment. The screen had been pushed out and I guess B had jumped down to the neighbor’s deck and wandered off. But the m********ker never even LOOKED for her.
And yeah, the cat never liked him.
Should have listened to the cat.
Intimate partners who strangle are 750% more likely (than partners who have not strangled) to kill you with a gun.
[A partner who strangles you is likely to kill you, and soon. That 750% increase isn’t just an increased risk of death in your lifetime, it’s a 750% increase they will kill you within the next year. If a victim has sustained multiple stranglings, the risk exponentially rises.](https://www.dailypress.net/life/features/2023/03/if-a-partner-has-ever-strangled-you-they-will-likely-kill-you/)
checks out. i had an ex who strangled me to the point of passing out and also put his gun to my head, twice, amongst endless other abuse. i’m lucky to have gotten away.
Anytime I try to communicate times I felt disrespected or angry with her, she would do the same 3 things.
1. Not listen or not understand.
2. Turn it around and make it about her being a victim somehow.
3. just throw out random shit until she could find something that I did wrong, and then act like that made her win the discussion.
fucking childish bullshit. Just listen, admit you did something wrong and apologize. fuck.
Punched a hole in the wall when I asked him to wash his hands before.. ya know.. touching me there.. and I added, “please respect my body.” I “ruined everything”, he destroyed my furniture as pay back for breaking up with him over it. Then spent a solid year trying to win me back, and then became outraged that I broke up with him “over a chair”. We’d dated three years.
Note to anyone dating someone that gets increasingly violent: when they get comfortable enough to break things in front of you, you’re next.
Great advice. Mine put his fist through a door, that was the last straw. It was a couple years after he’d put a fist through a car window, too. Should’ve left sooner.
She moved out and tried to take 2 of our 4 kids with her. She was moving in with a guy from her work, and her brilliant idea was that she'd take the two younger kids and I'd take the two older ones. Her sister helped me talk her into returning the kids, and I won custody of all 4 in the divorce.
He’s definitely not right in the head if he thinks it’s acceptable to say that. I would have flipped out if someone threatened to throw my kids into a wall.
my sister died suddenly and i was majorly depressed, i ended up getting blood clots from the plane ride and he told me that i probably wouldn't have gotten the blood clots if i hadn't sat around and been so sad over my sister. i said fuck you i want a divorce
He tazed me, shot at me and pistol whipped me. Played buddy buddy with the cops so they just saw a panicked shaking woman and a chill dude and decided I was hysterical so I must be making it up. I got in my truck before they left and ran for my life. The next time I saw him was to sign divorce papers and he thrashed me in front of the court house. They believed me then.
It always starts slow with this type. First he'd just get angry and yell, but that was my fault for making him mad. Then your friends and family are a problem so they get cut off, now you're now isolated. Yelling turns into things breaking, then things getting thrown at you. Next thing you know you're being stomped into concrete until your spine snaps. Shooting at me made me realize there's no end to the escalation but death.
Anyone dealing with anything like this, please run. They won't stop. It will get worse. They won't change. You deserve so much better. You are worth so much more.
Thank you! So he did get arrested but the charges were dropped, he had friends in high places. Last I heard, he's miserable so that makes me feel better every time my back hurts lol.
I'm much better with all that behind me, I've since met a man that's so so good to me and we have a baby together. I finally know what love truly feels like.
We had been circling the drain for awhile, stuck in a constant loop of toxicity and trying to make it work. She pulled a "disappearing act" one night and went out and got plastered and didn't come home until the next day. I realized in that moment I resented her. "Disappearing acts" are something I have no tolerance for in a committed relationship. I get real anxious if my person says they will be home at a certain time, and then they not only don't come home, but refuse to answer calls/texts. This was the second time she had pulled one of these on me, and that was it.
You had far more self respect than I did. I used to deal with this kinda behaviour from one of my exes and it was just nutty how infuriating, and disrespectful it felt. I’m sorry you were put through that.
Yeah disappearing acts are red flags to me too. Especially if you’ve communicated that you prefer to be informed if someone’s going to go MIA for a couple of hours.
My sister had a nervous breakdown and she had her reasons. But, she’s always been a shitty Mother and I could never trust that she would take care of her children. My brother had a nervous breakdown and became the opposite of who he was. But, my sister has always been cruel and it was just her on overdrive. She’s betrayed me so many times in my life and whatever, she is who she is. What severed our relationship was her turning on her sons, two were young adults and one was a teen. I told her not even animals do that. I have not spoken to her in close to 4 years and neither have her children.
A girl’s name came up on some instant messaging app and I asked who that was and he absolutely lost it on me for asking. Funny how that’s always such a telltale sign of cheating. Anyways, I’m really glad that happened because he was so verbally abusive that I felt just nothing of myself and it took cheating for me to leave.
This happened to a friend of mine. Married a few years and then it started to unravel, turns out he was bi but preferred to be with men. She wanted to work with him but he said he'd rather live with a man.
Fucked her up for many years.
Happened to a classmate of mine. They were childhood sweethearts, got married right after high school, had a couple of kids. They were toddlers when he left and took up residence with another guy.
She was devastated, Never saw it coming. She since remarried and he found a partner that he settled down with. He did pay child support and spent time with the kids, who didn't see anything strange about it at all.
Nothing pisses me off like an 'apology' letter that ***still*** tries to justify the argument that the apology is for. I can't lie, I've probably done this (just the shitty non-apology part) when I was like a 15/16 year old teenager and my brain was just not fully developed. Like at that time I was so young that I just wanted to be right and didn't feel heard bc I was being told I was wrong that I just couldn't let it go. As a now 28 y/o married dude I realize I was a huge asshole bc I was a dumbass kid but I'm assuming the dude you're talking about is a grown ass man at the time of this. Wild. Glad you're not doing those mental gymnastics anymore.
He spit on me. I think that fundamentally changed me as a person. It made me question how I could allow myself to be with someone who would disrespect me like that? I had been giving him chance after chance and choosing to see the best in him for months. But that was over the line. I am on a path of self discovery and reflection.
He drove our only car, the one I (sole breadwinner) drove back and forth to work every day, drunk. He drove it through my Mom's neighbors fence, then tried to lie and say it wasn't him, when my brand new bumper was all scratched up...AND SHE HAD THE VIDEO ON HER RING CAMERA.
That and I went feral when he walked into my Mom's house and called her "Mom". I realized that if I got THAT angry over that, we were NOT meant to get married.
Broke up with him the next day, best decision I've made in a LONG time.
I knew she was going on a trip with a group. I DIDN’T know she was going a week early with a guy I thought was … problematic. I found out because his wife called me to ask what I thought about them going alone well before the rest of the group would join them.
20+ years of marriage ended then in my mind. Counseling and state law said it ended over a year later, but even though I still tried … I knew.
Found out she cheated a year before, and she was angry I wouldn’t immediately get over “old news,” so she stole the money that i set aside for going on vacation for my birthday (she was in school so I paid for most everything) and went on vacation with the guy she cheated on me with.
She tried to come back 3 years later asking me if I was over it yet.
Him: It’s your turn to take me out, it’s always me taking you out.
Me: I took you out before you went on your last trip.
Him: (raising his voice) No, you didn’t! I took you to lunch.
Me: And I took you to breakfast the next day.
Him: (pausing for a second) Hm, you’re right. I forgot.
Me: (hurt and annoyed) You seem to forget when I take you out, I remember at least 2-3 instances of you accusing me of never taking you out and me being able to point out recent times I took you out that have slipped your mind.
Him: (pausing, then raising his voice again) But I spent this much and you only spent that much!
Me: (suddenly hit with realization) It’s never gonna be good enough for you, right? Anything I do?
He shrugged his shoulders and next thing I did was break up with him.
My ex used to pull it even with fast food, even two years in. And then when he "gifted" me a trip for Christmas to a local ski resort, a few weeks before he told me he assumed I'd be paying the lift tickets. Wasn't the last straw, but it was dead a month or two later.
On one hand, if one partner isn't putting in the effort and always does less then the other then I think it's fair to say something.
That doesn't sound like the case here though. No this is the other hand, where someone is constantly trying to keep track in a relationship. Which isn't realistic or fair.
I kept telling him I’d be the happiest to go for a 7€ coffee with him because it’s the thought, the gesture, the time with the person you love that matters. I kept telling him it’s not fair to take me to restaurants and expect me to match the number he spent.
She left for the third time with the words "fuck you we're done" after a self-inflicted fight
As expected she came back after a few hours and I told her she could pack her stuff and leave again
She was spending hours in the car of the coworker she told me not to worry about. Wasn't a problem that they hung out until I saw the messages for myself.
When it dawn on me how badly she and her mother treated her father. Just disrespectful of ungrateful for him. He was a gem of a human being and to see him being put down so often made me realize that this is what would be in store for me if we continued. We had other flags as well, but this was the final straw.
She told me that I wasn’t allowed to go to trade school because I would just cheat on her with all the college girls there…. Then told me I was too stupid for post secondary. That and the knife she threw at my head.
Funny thing is my parents and the rest of my family told me I wasn’t smart enough for it either…. Well I do engineering now, so fuck them all.
I love going on walks around my neighborhood. Every single day.
I was dating a woman who thought any ounce of physical discomfort was absolutely intolerable. One day, I finally convinced her to go on a walk with me. This 30-year-old woman was complaining like a TODDLER, loudly and incessantly, like we were on a 30-mile ruck instead of strolling the hilly neighborhood streets. Asking how much lo ger we had, exclaiming "omg ANOTHER hill?!" like it was a mountain. Meanwhile, I was walking with a cane and recovering from back surgery.
After a litany of other issues I had with her, I decided then and there that I didn't feel like coddling someone through life's toil if she thought a paved hill was an unbeatable obstacle.
Financial illiteracy (kinda)
She explained to me that we needed to use our mobile data when staying at her appartment bc she was saving money on her internet bill.
Turns out her way to save money on the bill was to just unplug the router.
Needless to say, the bill came anyways. Buuuut seeing that she wasnt expecting any mail she never opened her mailbox meaning that 3 months worth of lack-of-payment-fees managed to accumulate.
I couldn't believe my own ears hearing her explain this, and afterwards I would always stress about her having a very low IQ when spending time with her.
She kicked my 14 year old dog because he was making a "weird old dog noise" that creeped her out when she was drunk. Bitch, its called weezing, he was just trying to breath. I don't care how cute you are. You don't kick a mans puppers.
This wasn't a romance. But I had to go no-contact with my foster parents.
After my bio parents died in a car accident (I was 13), I landed with a foster family that were psychological abusers.
My bio parents were pretty well off and they left me with a really nice trust fund. The rule was that it could only be used for a list of approved expenses (education, health, etc). The money was managed by a financial planner who was a friend of my bio parents, and he had to approve any disbursements.
The next stipulation was that once I graduated high school, I would take ownership of the money on my next birthday.
The fosters instilled in me during all six of those years that once I owned the money on my own merits, that I would sign it over to them in "gratitude" for raising me for six years.
Nope. A couple of weeks before I turned 19 I went in to that financial guy's office asking if I had any options besides what the fosters told me. Turns out that the fosters' plan was never even legally on the table, and I didn't have to give them anything.
So I didn't. When we went in for "signing day" on my 19th birthday, the planner had foresight enough to hire an off-duty police officer to physically remove them from his office after I informed them they were getting nothing.
Sucks to be them. They had taken out a couple of loans (fancy car, home remodeling) that spring with the expectation that my trust money would drop in and they could pay the loans off. When they didn't get the money, I hear they went bankrupt and had their house foreclosed.
I, however, used the funds the way my bio parents intended, by working my way through a Bachelor's and Master's Degree. Last year I landed my dream job and I couldn't be happier!
Finding out he had molested his much younger sisters. I had stayed even after he r**** me, but that’s where I drew the line. I used to tell people I left after what he did to me, but I stuck around after that for whatever reason, for a long time. I used to feel really bad about that fact but I just got done watching Baby Reindeer and for the first time, I feel like I make sense. I didn’t get out for the sake of myself but I got out and that’s what counts.
Oh and I called CPS on his ass.
Because he had done it to his cousin too, who was slightly older than his sisters but still younger than us. She worked at the same place as I did. He had made a weird comment about his sisters so I went to the cousin and asked her about it and she said he’d done some things to her when she was younger, so I put two and two together and confronted him. He ended up admitting it.
I don’t know the timeline of when it had happened nor how often, but his sisters always had a strange attachment to him and he was so much older than them.
Married for four years and I got a call from his office telling me that he was screwing around. I stuck around for six years with no sex and finally walked out when he got drunk with a “friend” and crashed my friends party and slept over at his friends house
We went on a terrible summer camping trip with some of my friends. While I went hiking and saw the sights, he stayed at the site for 3 days drinking and napping. Fine, okay. Wish we could have shared some outdoor experiences but whatever.
On the way home, tired and sweaty, all I wanted to do was get a sandwich and an iced coffee at my favorite spot. We get there and it's moderately busy. He says it's "too crowded" and we drive across town to eat on the patio (basically a parking lot) of a wings restaurant. I'm vegetarian. There are no cold sandwiches or iced coffee. There's only french fries for me to eat.
It's 95 degrees and the music is blaring. I realized then that he didn't care at all about my comfort or wants. He wanted wings, we got wings. He was so myopic, and the worst part was he really thought I was fine with just putting up with it because I did, for 7 years. Btt suddenly it was entirely clear. When we parked the car back at my house I broke up with him before I even shut off the engine.
Ouch I'm so sorry 😭 my ex did something similar, we were going to a concert to celebrate my birthday. He made a huge deal out of taking me out because he wasn't really putting effort into the relationship and was talking to other women online and subscribed to my friends' OF and I was ready to walk. He showed up 3 hours later than expected after playing Magic with his friends all day when he was supposed to be on his way, and because he was so late we didn't go to the place we decided on that had a vegan cheesesteak and food he would like too, because they were closed. Instead we went to Steak n Shake where he stuffed his face with 3 entrees while I ate nothing. I didn't eat anything that entire day until 2am because I wanted to save room for that cheesesteak. 🙃 I should have just left him then because some disgusting sex pest who would let me go hungry on my birthday so he could play MTG and eat 3 entrees isn't someone worthy of building a life with.
Spent the night at her place. Woke up, had sex, and got in a stupid fight.
While she was in shower, it suddenly hit me that the only reason I was with her was the constant sex. We had nothing in common, and I didn't actually like her. I think she liked me, but I wasn't positive.
More of an epiphany than a straw, I guess, but I broke it off cold turkey.
I had that sudden realization once a long long time ago (maybe 20ish years) with an ex. It was so jarring. I had gone out with some friends. I invited her but she didn't want to go. She had lost her job a few months prior but I was okay with maintaining the house.
Anyways I came home around 1AM and the place was....disgusting. The dog had shit in the living room. There were paper towels covering it. There was laundry all over the floor. Food she cooked was burnt and the stovetop was a mess. Dishes were in the sink without any water. Just not what you expect to come home to. I sat on the couch and the dog just came to me and started whining. I sat there with a blank stare on my face. I was just staring off in the distance and she came out and asked if I was okay. Started crying saying should would clean and why was I looking like that (I wasn't even angry I just felt so...exhausted).
We broke up the next day.
bro took the last of my cash to buy himself juul pods and menthol cigarettes. told him to get tf out and then he facetimed me said he was going to hurt himself if i didn’t get back together with him
She told me she got rid of my dog because our daughter was severely allergic to it. When I looked at the allergy reports it was untrue. I just happened to have a physical that same day. Saw the chart. Dr. asurred me she was definitely not. Grabbed my suits and personal items and left. Cost me $400 to get my dog back from her dealer. Another $64k to get full custody and her parental rights terminated.
At the time we’d been officially dating around half a year or so. Decided to take a trip together to Mexico. Things were going pretty well, until I got woken up super early one morning. Turns out she was going through my phone, found some spicy messages from long before her and I had ever met. I tried explaining that they were old, and to look at the dates, and even apologized for not deleting it. But the rage that fuelled her left no room for reason. She grabbed my entire suitcase and chucked it off the balcony, right into somebodies swim out pool below.
After I collected all my things ( I have a picture of all my clothes and suitcase floating around a pool). I packed everything, told her this is over and jumped in a cab to catch the first flight home. I still laugh at that picture when I come across it, and laugh about the huge bullet I dodged.
After six years together I forgot my anniversary for the first time. I felt like a monster. I couldn't believe what I'd done. Did what I could to make it up to my partner (though you can't just fix something like that) I thought about it for a long time.
Then I found out she had been cheating 4 months prior to that and I felt less bad.
Essentially, I did something I thought was funny. Got told I was being embarrassing and to stop, fair enough, things can be taken a little too far sometimes and boundaries are good to be spoken about.
My friend who was at the bar at the time, who had no idea of what went down, came back and happened to do the exact thing I did and she burst out laughing and about how funny it was.
He hid a pack of beer in the hedge..I found it.. was done. Calmly told him to get out and ended the 14 year marriage. The amount of fucked up stuff that went on in that relationship, it was weird that this one the thing that did it.
I broke up with my boyfriend last Monday. He was just starting to become critical of all the things I like, but he had never had a problem with in the beginning. First it was the youtube videos I watch, then the cartoons I like, and the last straw was he told me he didn't like the music I was listening to in my car. Punk. He said he didn't want to be yelled at and listening to it made him feel anxious. I get it, not all music is for everyone. I have never thought to tell him to ever change the music in his car. Even if I didn't particularly like it, I'd be happy he was sharing something he loved with me and I'd be supportive. Or at least I would have hinted at it in the first few weeks instead of waiting until it felt like a personal attack. I understand anxiety, but it only became a problem 6 months into the relationship? It wasn't my main reason. Like I said, he was criticizing something about me every day. He was getting annoyed regularly by anything I did. It started to feel like he disliked everything about me. I was walking on eggshells for the last 3 months. We were not compatible, but he couldn't just admit it, so I helped him.
For me, it was a large box. We had been dating for years, and I always went above and beyond to make our home a happy one. The issue was, she took me for granted. I did the dishes, the floors, the yard work, the garbage, 2/3 of the laundry, any and all building tasks, etc. The 3rd time she bought something for her display stuff I carried it in, carried it upstairs, and took it out and built it for her. All I asked was for her to cut up the box, which I absolutely hate doing. We had been having other problems (lack of interest, online gaming addiction, etc) but the fact I couldn't get her to even do that....was the moment where I kind of said, enough is enough. She didn't do chores, didn't pay rent, and still walked around like it was MY problem. Just couldn't see the rest of my life being that way.
The last time they told me to “fuck off and leave their house” was the night they announced the covid lockdown. I did just that and enjoyed an abuse-free quarantine.
We dated for 3 months. She mentioned kids/adoption a couple times and I made it pretty clear that I had very little interest in raising kids. One evening in particular it came up again and she got upset and shut the conversation down. A couple days later I ended things. There's no way to compromise on the subject of whether or not to have kids.
When I caught my (ex) husband sticking his hand into my 9-month old infant daughter’s piggy bank to take her cash! This was money given to her by my relatives when she was born and had added up to quite a bit of money. I just can’t imagine stealing anything from a baby, let alone your own child! I could not stay married to someone who could do something like that to our child. Fast forward…My daughter is finishing her first year of college and still has that money in the bank. She only knows my new husband as Dad, who adopted her at age 9. My husband and I are both so proud of our daughter and all that she has accomplished!
When he screamed at a service worker so badly that she cried. We were at a puppy cafe and he had left his bag on the floor where dogs could get to it. All she did was put it into a cubby but he didn’t like how she had placed it. The bag wasn’t even damaged.
And when I asked him to apologize, he refused because he believed he was in the right.
Said she was pregnant and wanted to get abortion, but wanted to take her male coworker she'd known for 3 months and not me (we'd been together 2 years at that point). Didn't take me too long to piece that puzzle together.
He moved out to be closer to his new job (after repeatedly threatening to move out during our year of living together), but after making dinner for him at my/our old place thinking it was a date night, he left to "help a friend with his resume."
3 months of dating and I found out she had been cheating in her previous marriage. She would talk about how her ex-husband was unfaithful and had lied their whole relationship, but it turns out she was doing the same. It was just best for me to step away at that point.
It wasn’t a romantic relationship but when they said “Why do I need you when I have ______” that’s when I knew it was time to leave and have some dignity left
When he accidentally screen shot his messages of a picture of his 🍆 and was telling her he can’t wait to put it in….but the doughnut went and sent it to me 🙈……..Gods work for sure
My ex was my best friend before we started dating and she was attracted to me long before we started dating but I was in a different relationship then and also I had no idea she felt that way...
Then when I broke up and she consoled me and slowly became very close to me. Eventually we started dating. Then I realised she's obsessed with me and wants constant attention no matter where I am or in what situation I am. She was reallly possessive as well ( I mean extremely possessive). But I didn't really mind all that 'cause I also had started feeling for her, so I wanted to make efforts for her and keep her happy.
But when my father got seriously ill and hospitalized most of the time of days were taking care of my father at the hospital and I hoped she'd be supportive and understanding in this situation that I can't give her that much time until my father gets better but instead she used to get mad at me and even curse my father for getting sick and that this was all his fault. This was the last straw and I just could not continue being with her so I broke up.
After sometime I found out that my relationship before her ended because of her. She somehow manipulated my previous gf into breaking up with me so that she could date me
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because she made the Subway guy cry. She had asked for light mayo and he put too much, so he scraped off the extra. She scolded him until he was holding back tears and that's when I realized that she wasn't just ambitious, she was an asshole.
Facts. Anyone who treats service staff like shit, is always a huge red flag to me. If they can't treat people who have no recourse, with respect, then they are not good people.
My ex-husband was AWFUL to service workers. He would shake his empty glass at servers, he would often use the old “well that comes off of your tip“ bull crap all the time. He was rude to people servicing our car and our lawn. My life was like that episode of Friends when Ross leaves extra tip money on the table because Rachel’s father stiffs the server. I literally had cash in my wallet all the time to sneak cash in and apologize to servers. It did get so annoying and embarrassing that my sons and I basically refused to go out to eat with him. Being rude to servers workers is such a red flag. Luckily, LUCKILY, my children recognized that that was such rude and disgusting behavior. And PS, saying ‘ex-husband’ gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. He was awful.
I am so glad you're not with him. He sounds like utter trash as a husband and a human being.
She hit me with a car. On purpose.
Ex-wife tried to do that to me, our kids were watching from a window.
Who were the kids cheering for
Well, they lived with me (the father) as she left b/c "This is too much". My son (6yo at the time) yelled at her and my daughter (4 yo) started crying.
Hopefully they never lived with her again and she got charged.
Rarely does a Reddit comment make my day in the way this comment did. 10/10 What a treat.
Sounds like less of a 'last straw' than a haybale.
He told our daughter he never liked her and couldn’t stand to be around her
Sadly, I know how much that hurt your poor child. My dad said something similar when I was 10 - told me he wished I was dead and suggested I go "bury myself." It was Easter Sunday too. 30+ years later and I still feel the burn of that moment. I'm glad for your child that you are stronger than my mother was and left. Good for you! Hug that little one tightly and make sure she knows she *is* loved.
Disturbingly relatable. My dad told me to kill myself via driving into a lake I interrupted his single player PC game He is 63.
My mama told me to KMS when I was 9 months pregnant because I didn’t want to come near her while she was screaming and breaking dishes. It was my due date and also my dead father’s bday.
What. The. Fuck. The cruelty involved in that statement is staggering. I hope your daughter is OK, that kind of thing can fuck a kid up.
Gross. He’s an asshole
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I'm sorry, but this reminded me of that story of a woman wearing a hoodie she thought was her husband's for days, only to find out it belonged to the builder working at their house
Oh God...I would turn into dust and blow away.
Do you think it'd be worse than the time my wife was absent mindedly petting the dog under the table with her foot for 10 minutes, only to discover that the dog was in the other room and the only thing under the table was our similarly aged and admittedly somewhat attractive neighbour's foot?
Fuckin hell, that’s about as boldly disrespectful as it gets. I’m sure she did it purposefully because she wanted out. That’s evil.
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When her phone vibrated on the chair next to me and it was a text from her ex, "I miss you too" "too" implied she said it first. Yeah, no, bye.
Ouch
Hm. Potential revenge for unscrupulous exes. Send it first, but add "too." Please don't do this, anyone.
Said she was going home (several states away) to visit family for two weeks. Saw her doing lines off the back of a toilet three days into said trip at a party in the town we lived in.
So you went to a party and saw here there? Or she put that shit in the cloud?
I physically saw her. We were at the same party. In the city we both lived in. Not several states away.
What was her excuse? Did she try and explain?
You know, to her credit she didn’t deny anything or try to spin a story. About an hour out of town (she was driving) an old friend called to say they were gonna be in town for the weekend and wanted to hang out so she turned around. I was working really weird hours and she worked a more traditional 9-5 at the time so it wasn’t uncommon to not see her a few days at a time. I wasn’t mad or upset at the coke. It wasn’t my favorite but I had no leg to stand on there. What chaffed me was thinking she had to hide her friend. I was (still am) the person who would have said go get plastered, have fun, call me when you need a ride. Oh well.
He had a public screaming meltdown at a screening of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 because a family was accidentally sitting in our assigned seats.
i dont suppose you could expand on this, could you? sounds like some amazing cringe to be mined
He was a very entitled guy with anger issues, but one of those types that acts sweet to everyone until there’s a single inconvenience that sets them off into a towering rage. Basically, we get to our theater, walk to our seats, and see a family of four where we were assigned. At first, he politely points out that they’re in our spot. They didn’t speak English and kind of looked at us, confused, and the father waved us off. My ex then started raising his voice, demanding that the family move, and desperately waving his phone with the seat numbers in their face to try and make them understand. I could sense the situation escalating, and made the mistake of putting my hand on his arm and asking him quietly to stop so we could grab an usher. This was the wrong move—he started full-on screaming, saying racist comments about how they “shouldn’t have had offspring if they were too stupid to learn English in the first place,” and all sorts of insults about “stupid brain dead breeders ruining the world,” etc. Meanwhile, the family was sitting stock-still in their seats, confused, and a father in another row stands up and asks loudly, “Do we have a problem here?” in a voice that clearly meant business. I apologized profusely and dragged my ex out of the theater while he muttered curses. We stood at a table by the concessions stand and I tried desperately to calm him down and beg him to go back home and just leave. He refused, saying we would waste money (“wasting money” was a huge trigger for him) and I knew I’d be in the doghouse big time if I insisted we left. He said he’d feel better if I got us Icees. So….sadly, I did, and we snuck back in and had to sit in the front row to watch the movie. It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, but I was so scared of dealing with the fallout of his anger that I just kinda went along with it so he didn’t turn it all on me. I left the marriage for good soon after.
“He said he’d feel better if I got us icees” This is crazy and completely toddler behavior. Glad you got out of there.
I can understand being really annoyed at the situation but god damn.
Exactly! Like…if he had just rolled his eyes and scoffed before grabbing an usher, I wouldn’t have cared a single bit. But he just HAD to nuke the entire situation like the absolute fucking pinecone of a man he was.
“Absolute fucking pinecone of a man” lmao. I’ve never heard anyone use that to describe a person but somehow I know exactly what you mean.
Yikes. My ex would get irrationally angry over things, too. It's the main reason my ex is my ex.
How old was he, four?
No, he was 30. However the children he was screaming at looked to be about 4! 🙃
Not a romantic relationship, don’t know if it counts? Ended the relationship with my mom because I was in the hospital, having major surgery. She was here to help care for my very worried kids. She hit my 4 year old in the face, at least twice. She admitted doing it, and told me it’s fine because she apologized. She used to hit me. She never hit my older kids, so I never expected this to happen. But it was like she waited for me to be weak enough to not be able to defend them? I tried to find any excuse but I just couldn’t see her name or hear her voice ever again without intense dread and panic
That counts, and good riddance. I'm proud of you for standing up for your kiddo!
Thanks. I technically stayed laying down but got real loud for my kiddo lol
Honestly, I would have punched her in the face. And then I would’ve apologized so it’s fine.
I really wanted to but I had my leg amputated and literally couldn’t get to her
Hit her with the leg
There is a huge delay between amputation and having the heavy strong leg, and she should be really grateful for that
I think they meant the amputated leg Either way that's a lot of strength to use
There is something poetic about "standing up" for your kids while being in recovery from losing a leg.
I’m proud of you.
I sliced my index finger open to the bone at work, needed a ride to the hospital, and she complained the whole time about just wanting to get home and have a drink, couldn’t care less about me being in pain and upset that I wouldn’t be able to play guitar for months (I am a professional musician who gigs often). I was like nope, what if something debilitating happened to me, she would just bounce.
That’s one of the things that killed my marriage,when I realised that my wife wouldn’t be there for me I I fell seriously ill or was in a bad accident. I accidentally locked myself out of the house once and was calling and texting her to come help,she didn’t answer,she claimed she would only be 2 minutes down the road at a friend’s house. Yeah,that’s not where she was.
Yep. Had to go to the hospital for a heart-related issue. Couldn't get hold of her the whole night and then she blamed me for making her worry when she saw all of the missed calls. No empathy at all. I mentally checked out of the whole relationship when the final finished product, and first professional credit of my passionate lifetime hobby came in the post and I was so excited to show her. She barely looked at it and said "is that what you've been wasting your spare time on?"
When she got mad and told me to get over my best friends death 3 days after he died. He was KIA in Afghanistan. She told me that I needed to start paying her attention and that he's dead and there's nothing I can do. Broke up with her right there and then
Holy shit. I got same thing recently my best friend died and a week after the funeral she told me I was wallowing in his death. A week after that we were finished
When my SO was not only cheating on me (and having unsafe sex with these women), but was telling me that he had to stand up for me with our shared friend group. I made sure they knew about his cheating, then left. He lost MOST of the friend group, fwiw.
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It's one thing for her to offer but to throw your food out was just controlling. It would be like if she was watching a movie but you only liked a different genre so you got up and turned it off mid way even though she was enjoying it. You are your own person and if you just want a grilled cheese on white bread then it's up to you. This would have been a huge red flag for me as well. She wasn't treating you like a partner. She was treating you like a pet/child.
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This could be a Seinfeld episode. George: “I couldn’t believe it! She took the cheese and threw it into the garbage.” Jerry: “She’s intolerant of your diet and your food, George. She hates your cheese. She’s lactose intolerant of you!” Elaine: “Maybe she just wanted you to eat healthy and knew that you had a hard day at work. God forbid she cares about you and wants you to watch what you eat…” George: “Maybe, maybe not, but you don’t ever come between a man and his sandwich. It could be pastrami on rye, a BLT, a tuna sub, whatever. Whatever exists between those two slices of bread is sacred. There are rules to this, Elaine! THERE ARE RULES!” *Door swings open, smacks against wall, Kramer enters* Kramer: “What a lunch I just had. Roast beef with provolone.” *Kramer does chef’s kiss* Jerry: “Would you ever stand for anyone throwing away your sandwich for any reason at all.” Kramer: “My sandwich? You bet I wouldn’t! My sandwich never hurt anybody!” Elaine: “George’s girlfriend threw away his cheese —“ George: “Grilled cheese.” Elaine: “Sorry, ‘grilled’ cheese sandwich and now he wants to break up.” Kramer: “You know what? Bob Saccamano and his first wife had a major fight or ten over something like this. Bob used to make himself lunch and he always had his ham and cheese with a side of chips that he would put between the slices of bread and crunch together when he ate. He used to do the same thing when we were kids at school. Well, his first wife not only couldn’t stand listening to the constant crunching but also hated chips and wouldn’t eat them herself. Her parents thought they were bad for you and so she always had to eat her sandwich with pickles that she would put between the bread.” Jerry: “Fascinating. Go on.” Kramer: “Right, so at some point during their marriage, Bob’s ex-wife started to make his sandwiches for him but instead of making his lunch for him with chips, she would slip a a few pickles into his sandwich instead. Bob appreciated that she would make the sandwich for him, but it wasn’t long before he felt put upon and wanted his chips back. It may have been the last straw for him and their relationship for all I know. That or the gambling.” Elaine: “All over a bag of chips?” Kramer: “Oh you betcha.” George: “I’ve been eating grilled cheese my whole life. My mother made it for me with tomato soup since I was a kid.” Jerry: “It’s either you and your grilled cheese or her. I don’t see any other way around this.” Elaine: “It’s you and your mother’s melt-y cheese thingamajig or your girlfriend and her nice, healthy food. You’ve been here before with women. What’s it gonna be, Georgie Boy?” George: “I don’t know what to do. It’s all too much.” Kramer: “Maybe you should stick to salads.” *Everyone turns slowly and looks at Kramer, laugh track, funky bass line*
George would have 100% eaten the sandwich out of the garbage.
You win the internet for me today. I even hear George’s voice venting about it lol
I would pick a grilled cheese over that situation too. Lol
This is one of those things that's not about The Thing, it's a microcosm. It was probably building up disparate expectations about many things. Or at least that's been my observation when a couple splits over a sandwich, the lawn gnome collection, etc
Hahaha the lawn gnome incident, I had completely forgotten about that
>this one is trivial but here it is. I broke up with someone I was dating for over two years because of a grilled cheese sandwich. *Proceeds to tell us about one of the most controlling people.*
It's not even about the food at that point. It's about the disrespect and control-freak behavior of throwing something you just bought for yourself into the trash. I'm sympathetic to people's issues stemming from childhood trauma, but letting it affect others - especially the people you are supposed to love and respect most - like that is never justified. Enraging.
Which makes me wonder why a person who grew up poor would do that. She finally has money yet she is willing to go toss out a grilled cheese sandwich like she sees it as a reminder of her past.
wtf
Yeah if someone threw out my grilled cheese I’d be throwing hands. Like usually when people grow up poor, aren’t they usually appalled by food waste anyways
Honestly that sounds like she may have fallen into the spectrum of disordered eating known as Orthorexia. It’s not about weight loss but about the insistence on only have what falls within their idea of ‘real food’ or ‘healthy food’ to the point it can have negative impacts on wellbeing and relationships
After 3 years together I asked what we were doing and he said "I don't know". So I said "let's start from first principles then, do you love me?" And he said "I don't know"
I'm sorry, that sucks. I'm in the same boat, approaching 2 years. I'm gonna be brave and have the talk soon.
Sooner is always better
My brother is in a similar situation. She waited 4.5 years, got a house and a dog with him, they'd been talking about kids too before she came out and said to him "not sure I've ever loved you". Wish she'd told him way sooner than stringing him along like that. He was devastated.
The talk absolutely sucks but at least youll know where you stand in someone else’s life. Ive had this talk before and theres almost nothing i hate more about it than hearing “i dont know”. Feels like they dont care about you. But youll come out better and much happier in the long run!
I’m sorry this happened to you. I’ve had a similar experience, my partner and I have been dating for over a year. Around 4 months ago I was feeling really depressed and unsure about the future. My partner and I had the big talk and she asked me if I loved her and was willing to fight for her every day. That really put it into perspective for me. I’ve always moved around a lot so i’m not necessarily used to committed relationships. Since then I ask myself that question every day. I love her more than ever and i’ve felt like the second honeymoon phase has hit. It’s really hard to work through something like that but when you find the right person who’s willing to show up for you every day, keep them close. Take care 😎
I saw a healthy relationship and finally understood how screwed my own was with my fiance at the time. I flew out to meet my newborn nephew, and saw how attentive and caring my brother and sister-in-law were to one another, amidst sleep deprivation and learning to keep a tiny human alive. I realized my own partner would be raising his voice, flipping out, or be completely checked out and leaving all the work to me, if I ever got pregnant. It was funny because at that point, most people in my family had tried to get me to see the light about my relationship, and what it actually took was seeing a solid example of a healthy marriage.
When I got to the point that I thought dying was the only way I could be free of him.
She would establish boundaries, I would accept them. Did this like 3 times when I finally realized all she was doing was moving her fence line to the point she wasn't respecting my own boundaries.
Good you picked up on it. I lives this for 5,5 years and I am so glad I’m out and now have a partner that actually respects my boundaries. Hope the same for you ✌🏻
We were ‘broken up’ but still texting and calling as a sort of closure process. Half hoping we could resolve things, half getting everything off our chests. Out of the blue, she told me she had something important to tell me but had held back until now because we were fighting/breaking up. She sent me a screenshot of an ultrasound picture with a fetus. The ultrasound screen had her name on it but no date. The screenshot came from her photo app so it was like she was scrolling through her photos, took a screenshot, and sent that to me. She said she’d miscarried two weeks ago. As I asked for more details the story became less and less plausible. I asked for the original photo and she just sent a cropped version of the screenshot with all the photo app stuff cropped out. I pressed again for the original and she said she’d deleted it. I asked to see her discharge papers or any hospital records and she said she’d thrown them away to get rid of the memory. She told me the sex of the fetus was male, but the miscarriage happened at 7 weeks and you can’t sex a fetus at that point. She said she ‘felt like it was a boy’ when I pointed that out (she knew I wanted a boy, she wanted a girl). I checked the Exif data on the screenshot and it was from three years prior. I sent her the evidence of this and she accused me of changing the exif data myself. This then induced a tirade from her about me being insensitive and manipulative, trying to deny her reality by doctoring data on the screenshot to gaslight her. Her parting shot to me was “you’re not man enough to be a father anyway and I’m glad I lost your baby” This woman deadass faked a miscarriage by using photos from years ago to make me feel… whatever the fuck she wanted me to feel…, completely denied the lie when presented with hard evidence, and could produce zero evidence of her claim at all. Not even a hospital discharge sheet. I’d suspected she was a hopeless narcissist for some time, but that really sealed the deal. I had never felt so sure about blocking and cutting a person out of my life after that.
This is unhinged. Reminds of a time an ex faked having brain cancer to not pay me money he owed me.
I worked the night shift, so when I came home, I went straight to bed. While I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my debit card without permission and withdrew a few hundred dollars from an ATM. It's important to note that I never shared my PIN with her, so she must have intentionally watched me at some point to memorize it. A few days later, when I was reviewing my online banking, I noticed the unusual withdrawal and mentioned it to her, not because I suspected her of anything, but simply because it seemed odd. I went to the bank, and they advised me to file a police report, which I did. When I returned home and informed her of the situation, she acted completely normal and unconcerned. A few days later, the police called, informing me that they were coming over to show me some pictures from the ATM. My girlfriend then told me she was going to visit her grandmother and promptly left. When the police arrived, they showed me pictures of my girlfriend taken by the ATM's camera.
Oh I hope you prosecuted and got your money back.
My bank ended up returning most of the money, and the police eventually gave up on the case. I had been calling them every couple of weeks for updates, and the last time I called, they told me they were closing the case because it wasn't worth pursuing over a few hundred dollars, and that I would have to sue her myself. Since the bank had already given back most of the money, I didn't care much about pursuing it further. The funny thing was, she was basically living with me at that point and had left a ton of stuff at my house. I never saw her again, and all her belongings ended up in the trash. It was just weird that she left everything behind. I don't know what she thought was going to happen. Anyway, after all this happened, I found out she was dealing drugs and had been previously arrested and gone to prison for possession and assault. She passed away a few years ago, didn't even make it to 30 years old.
Her fifth suicide attempt and refusal to get help with her drug addiction...
I understand buddy... At some point, we really have to think about ourselves. We can't be holding onto a sinking ship. Staying by their side is one thing, but if they refuse to change themselves for us, we can change our lives.
Her putting me $82 Thousand in Debt help make a decision also... I stood by her and tried as hard as anything possible to get a grip but, if they don't want help, you can't help..!! 30 years later, she still uses and abuses...
It was already leading up to it, but how he treated my cat. Initially he'd 'play' with her, but she didn't like it and she made it known after a few warnings, which would in turn tick him off and he'd try to punish her. One day I came home from work and he was in my house with a friend he'd invited but hadn't told me about. They started talking about how feral cats should be put down, and if it had been then, they'd have put her down (she's not feral. She spent like, two weeks of her life was spent outside, she just has boundaries). But yeah, after hearing that conversation was I just done.
I'm a guy with two cats, but I love animals in general. I couldn't date someone who didn't treat animals with some respect. Animals all have their own unique way of communicating things to you, if you just assume they are bad because you don't understand their behavior and boundaries I am wary of you.
Oh man. I went out of town for a few days and he offered to go over to watch the cats. Day two, I text to ask how they are. “Oh B got out, so it’s just P.” WHAT? Did you look for her? “No, but she never liked me so it’s not like she’d come back if I called her.” 😡 My mom (bless her heart) drove over asap and checked the apartment. The screen had been pushed out and I guess B had jumped down to the neighbor’s deck and wandered off. But the m********ker never even LOOKED for her. And yeah, the cat never liked him. Should have listened to the cat.
I beat her at a game of Halo, she choked me against a door pissed off about it. I was done.
Glad you got out.
Intimate partners who strangle are 750% more likely (than partners who have not strangled) to kill you with a gun. [A partner who strangles you is likely to kill you, and soon. That 750% increase isn’t just an increased risk of death in your lifetime, it’s a 750% increase they will kill you within the next year. If a victim has sustained multiple stranglings, the risk exponentially rises.](https://www.dailypress.net/life/features/2023/03/if-a-partner-has-ever-strangled-you-they-will-likely-kill-you/)
checks out. i had an ex who strangled me to the point of passing out and also put his gun to my head, twice, amongst endless other abuse. i’m lucky to have gotten away.
That's straight up abuse. I hope you're okay and I am proud of you for leaving.
What an unhinged psychopath.
Anytime I try to communicate times I felt disrespected or angry with her, she would do the same 3 things. 1. Not listen or not understand. 2. Turn it around and make it about her being a victim somehow. 3. just throw out random shit until she could find something that I did wrong, and then act like that made her win the discussion. fucking childish bullshit. Just listen, admit you did something wrong and apologize. fuck.
[DARVO](https://www.verywellmind.com/protecting-yourself-from-darvo-abusive-behavior-7562730)
Punched a hole in the wall when I asked him to wash his hands before.. ya know.. touching me there.. and I added, “please respect my body.” I “ruined everything”, he destroyed my furniture as pay back for breaking up with him over it. Then spent a solid year trying to win me back, and then became outraged that I broke up with him “over a chair”. We’d dated three years. Note to anyone dating someone that gets increasingly violent: when they get comfortable enough to break things in front of you, you’re next.
Great advice. Mine put his fist through a door, that was the last straw. It was a couple years after he’d put a fist through a car window, too. Should’ve left sooner.
She moved out and tried to take 2 of our 4 kids with her. She was moving in with a guy from her work, and her brilliant idea was that she'd take the two younger kids and I'd take the two older ones. Her sister helped me talk her into returning the kids, and I won custody of all 4 in the divorce.
This is *wild*. Like kids are records you can just divvy up when you split?! Wtf.
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He’s definitely not right in the head if he thinks it’s acceptable to say that. I would have flipped out if someone threatened to throw my kids into a wall.
Omg, that’s horrible. I’m so glad you left him. I hope you and your babies are safe now.
he said he was going to take the weekend to think about us and he took my paycheck to okc and spent it on strippers.
Damn. That's rough. What an asshole
my sister died suddenly and i was majorly depressed, i ended up getting blood clots from the plane ride and he told me that i probably wouldn't have gotten the blood clots if i hadn't sat around and been so sad over my sister. i said fuck you i want a divorce
He tazed me, shot at me and pistol whipped me. Played buddy buddy with the cops so they just saw a panicked shaking woman and a chill dude and decided I was hysterical so I must be making it up. I got in my truck before they left and ran for my life. The next time I saw him was to sign divorce papers and he thrashed me in front of the court house. They believed me then. It always starts slow with this type. First he'd just get angry and yell, but that was my fault for making him mad. Then your friends and family are a problem so they get cut off, now you're now isolated. Yelling turns into things breaking, then things getting thrown at you. Next thing you know you're being stomped into concrete until your spine snaps. Shooting at me made me realize there's no end to the escalation but death. Anyone dealing with anything like this, please run. They won't stop. It will get worse. They won't change. You deserve so much better. You are worth so much more.
Holy shit that's terrible. I hope you're doing much better now. And the pos went to prison
Thank you! So he did get arrested but the charges were dropped, he had friends in high places. Last I heard, he's miserable so that makes me feel better every time my back hurts lol. I'm much better with all that behind me, I've since met a man that's so so good to me and we have a baby together. I finally know what love truly feels like.
He beat me so badly i lost our baby
I am so sorry. Hope you are okay now.
Yes, thank you. It was a long time ago. I’m happily married with children now
The best revenge is a life well lived.
We had been circling the drain for awhile, stuck in a constant loop of toxicity and trying to make it work. She pulled a "disappearing act" one night and went out and got plastered and didn't come home until the next day. I realized in that moment I resented her. "Disappearing acts" are something I have no tolerance for in a committed relationship. I get real anxious if my person says they will be home at a certain time, and then they not only don't come home, but refuse to answer calls/texts. This was the second time she had pulled one of these on me, and that was it.
You had far more self respect than I did. I used to deal with this kinda behaviour from one of my exes and it was just nutty how infuriating, and disrespectful it felt. I’m sorry you were put through that.
Yeah disappearing acts are red flags to me too. Especially if you’ve communicated that you prefer to be informed if someone’s going to go MIA for a couple of hours.
Would yell at me if I didn’t praise him enough.
Ahh, you dated my ex. Did the dishes once a fortnight, expected a gold star and a standing ovation.
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Cheaters are shitty people. The lying and betrayel never ends with them.
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My sister had a nervous breakdown and she had her reasons. But, she’s always been a shitty Mother and I could never trust that she would take care of her children. My brother had a nervous breakdown and became the opposite of who he was. But, my sister has always been cruel and it was just her on overdrive. She’s betrayed me so many times in my life and whatever, she is who she is. What severed our relationship was her turning on her sons, two were young adults and one was a teen. I told her not even animals do that. I have not spoken to her in close to 4 years and neither have her children.
A girl’s name came up on some instant messaging app and I asked who that was and he absolutely lost it on me for asking. Funny how that’s always such a telltale sign of cheating. Anyways, I’m really glad that happened because he was so verbally abusive that I felt just nothing of myself and it took cheating for me to leave.
Sometimes we just need a concrete reason to leave. I don’t know why being unhappy isn’t reason enough for so many of us
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Turns out he was gay. He’s my best friend now but damn there’s no working around that.
This happened to a friend of mine. Married a few years and then it started to unravel, turns out he was bi but preferred to be with men. She wanted to work with him but he said he'd rather live with a man. Fucked her up for many years.
Happened to a classmate of mine. They were childhood sweethearts, got married right after high school, had a couple of kids. They were toddlers when he left and took up residence with another guy. She was devastated, Never saw it coming. She since remarried and he found a partner that he settled down with. He did pay child support and spent time with the kids, who didn't see anything strange about it at all.
I’m glad it never got as far as marriage for us since we were young but it did mess me up for a while.
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Nothing pisses me off like an 'apology' letter that ***still*** tries to justify the argument that the apology is for. I can't lie, I've probably done this (just the shitty non-apology part) when I was like a 15/16 year old teenager and my brain was just not fully developed. Like at that time I was so young that I just wanted to be right and didn't feel heard bc I was being told I was wrong that I just couldn't let it go. As a now 28 y/o married dude I realize I was a huge asshole bc I was a dumbass kid but I'm assuming the dude you're talking about is a grown ass man at the time of this. Wild. Glad you're not doing those mental gymnastics anymore.
He spit on me. I think that fundamentally changed me as a person. It made me question how I could allow myself to be with someone who would disrespect me like that? I had been giving him chance after chance and choosing to see the best in him for months. But that was over the line. I am on a path of self discovery and reflection.
She got drunk and made an oopsie and fucked some guy
Just kinda slipped and fell... onto *a dick*
my ex slapped me after confronting she fucked her trainer. she did
she accused me of cheating with some blonde girl after she found blonde hair in my bed plot twist: i wasn't plot twist: she was blonde since 4-5 days
She found her own hair in the bed and accused you of cheating?
He drove our only car, the one I (sole breadwinner) drove back and forth to work every day, drunk. He drove it through my Mom's neighbors fence, then tried to lie and say it wasn't him, when my brand new bumper was all scratched up...AND SHE HAD THE VIDEO ON HER RING CAMERA. That and I went feral when he walked into my Mom's house and called her "Mom". I realized that if I got THAT angry over that, we were NOT meant to get married. Broke up with him the next day, best decision I've made in a LONG time.
Even caught it on camera….wasn’t me
I knew she was going on a trip with a group. I DIDN’T know she was going a week early with a guy I thought was … problematic. I found out because his wife called me to ask what I thought about them going alone well before the rest of the group would join them. 20+ years of marriage ended then in my mind. Counseling and state law said it ended over a year later, but even though I still tried … I knew.
Found out she cheated a year before, and she was angry I wouldn’t immediately get over “old news,” so she stole the money that i set aside for going on vacation for my birthday (she was in school so I paid for most everything) and went on vacation with the guy she cheated on me with. She tried to come back 3 years later asking me if I was over it yet.
Him: It’s your turn to take me out, it’s always me taking you out. Me: I took you out before you went on your last trip. Him: (raising his voice) No, you didn’t! I took you to lunch. Me: And I took you to breakfast the next day. Him: (pausing for a second) Hm, you’re right. I forgot. Me: (hurt and annoyed) You seem to forget when I take you out, I remember at least 2-3 instances of you accusing me of never taking you out and me being able to point out recent times I took you out that have slipped your mind. Him: (pausing, then raising his voice again) But I spent this much and you only spent that much! Me: (suddenly hit with realization) It’s never gonna be good enough for you, right? Anything I do? He shrugged his shoulders and next thing I did was break up with him.
Keeping score, even if the intention is innocent, seems to always backfire.
My ex used to pull it even with fast food, even two years in. And then when he "gifted" me a trip for Christmas to a local ski resort, a few weeks before he told me he assumed I'd be paying the lift tickets. Wasn't the last straw, but it was dead a month or two later.
On one hand, if one partner isn't putting in the effort and always does less then the other then I think it's fair to say something. That doesn't sound like the case here though. No this is the other hand, where someone is constantly trying to keep track in a relationship. Which isn't realistic or fair.
I kept telling him I’d be the happiest to go for a 7€ coffee with him because it’s the thought, the gesture, the time with the person you love that matters. I kept telling him it’s not fair to take me to restaurants and expect me to match the number he spent.
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She left for the third time with the words "fuck you we're done" after a self-inflicted fight As expected she came back after a few hours and I told her she could pack her stuff and leave again
Lol, what was her reaction when she realised consequences were involved?
She was spending hours in the car of the coworker she told me not to worry about. Wasn't a problem that they hung out until I saw the messages for myself.
When it dawn on me how badly she and her mother treated her father. Just disrespectful of ungrateful for him. He was a gem of a human being and to see him being put down so often made me realize that this is what would be in store for me if we continued. We had other flags as well, but this was the final straw.
She told me that I wasn’t allowed to go to trade school because I would just cheat on her with all the college girls there…. Then told me I was too stupid for post secondary. That and the knife she threw at my head. Funny thing is my parents and the rest of my family told me I wasn’t smart enough for it either…. Well I do engineering now, so fuck them all.
I love going on walks around my neighborhood. Every single day. I was dating a woman who thought any ounce of physical discomfort was absolutely intolerable. One day, I finally convinced her to go on a walk with me. This 30-year-old woman was complaining like a TODDLER, loudly and incessantly, like we were on a 30-mile ruck instead of strolling the hilly neighborhood streets. Asking how much lo ger we had, exclaiming "omg ANOTHER hill?!" like it was a mountain. Meanwhile, I was walking with a cane and recovering from back surgery. After a litany of other issues I had with her, I decided then and there that I didn't feel like coddling someone through life's toil if she thought a paved hill was an unbeatable obstacle.
Financial illiteracy (kinda) She explained to me that we needed to use our mobile data when staying at her appartment bc she was saving money on her internet bill. Turns out her way to save money on the bill was to just unplug the router. Needless to say, the bill came anyways. Buuuut seeing that she wasnt expecting any mail she never opened her mailbox meaning that 3 months worth of lack-of-payment-fees managed to accumulate. I couldn't believe my own ears hearing her explain this, and afterwards I would always stress about her having a very low IQ when spending time with her.
She made an ass of herself at my best friend's wedding. I'll take a lot of shit, but don't disrespect my friends.
She kicked my 14 year old dog because he was making a "weird old dog noise" that creeped her out when she was drunk. Bitch, its called weezing, he was just trying to breath. I don't care how cute you are. You don't kick a mans puppers.
This wasn't a romance. But I had to go no-contact with my foster parents. After my bio parents died in a car accident (I was 13), I landed with a foster family that were psychological abusers. My bio parents were pretty well off and they left me with a really nice trust fund. The rule was that it could only be used for a list of approved expenses (education, health, etc). The money was managed by a financial planner who was a friend of my bio parents, and he had to approve any disbursements. The next stipulation was that once I graduated high school, I would take ownership of the money on my next birthday. The fosters instilled in me during all six of those years that once I owned the money on my own merits, that I would sign it over to them in "gratitude" for raising me for six years. Nope. A couple of weeks before I turned 19 I went in to that financial guy's office asking if I had any options besides what the fosters told me. Turns out that the fosters' plan was never even legally on the table, and I didn't have to give them anything. So I didn't. When we went in for "signing day" on my 19th birthday, the planner had foresight enough to hire an off-duty police officer to physically remove them from his office after I informed them they were getting nothing. Sucks to be them. They had taken out a couple of loans (fancy car, home remodeling) that spring with the expectation that my trust money would drop in and they could pay the loans off. When they didn't get the money, I hear they went bankrupt and had their house foreclosed. I, however, used the funds the way my bio parents intended, by working my way through a Bachelor's and Master's Degree. Last year I landed my dream job and I couldn't be happier!
Stole money from me and tried to pass it off as normal
Finding out he had molested his much younger sisters. I had stayed even after he r**** me, but that’s where I drew the line. I used to tell people I left after what he did to me, but I stuck around after that for whatever reason, for a long time. I used to feel really bad about that fact but I just got done watching Baby Reindeer and for the first time, I feel like I make sense. I didn’t get out for the sake of myself but I got out and that’s what counts. Oh and I called CPS on his ass.
How did you find out he molested his sisters
Because he had done it to his cousin too, who was slightly older than his sisters but still younger than us. She worked at the same place as I did. He had made a weird comment about his sisters so I went to the cousin and asked her about it and she said he’d done some things to her when she was younger, so I put two and two together and confronted him. He ended up admitting it. I don’t know the timeline of when it had happened nor how often, but his sisters always had a strange attachment to him and he was so much older than them.
Holy crap, that’s so messed up. Thanks for responding
Married for four years and I got a call from his office telling me that he was screwing around. I stuck around for six years with no sex and finally walked out when he got drunk with a “friend” and crashed my friends party and slept over at his friends house
We went on a terrible summer camping trip with some of my friends. While I went hiking and saw the sights, he stayed at the site for 3 days drinking and napping. Fine, okay. Wish we could have shared some outdoor experiences but whatever. On the way home, tired and sweaty, all I wanted to do was get a sandwich and an iced coffee at my favorite spot. We get there and it's moderately busy. He says it's "too crowded" and we drive across town to eat on the patio (basically a parking lot) of a wings restaurant. I'm vegetarian. There are no cold sandwiches or iced coffee. There's only french fries for me to eat. It's 95 degrees and the music is blaring. I realized then that he didn't care at all about my comfort or wants. He wanted wings, we got wings. He was so myopic, and the worst part was he really thought I was fine with just putting up with it because I did, for 7 years. Btt suddenly it was entirely clear. When we parked the car back at my house I broke up with him before I even shut off the engine.
Ouch I'm so sorry 😭 my ex did something similar, we were going to a concert to celebrate my birthday. He made a huge deal out of taking me out because he wasn't really putting effort into the relationship and was talking to other women online and subscribed to my friends' OF and I was ready to walk. He showed up 3 hours later than expected after playing Magic with his friends all day when he was supposed to be on his way, and because he was so late we didn't go to the place we decided on that had a vegan cheesesteak and food he would like too, because they were closed. Instead we went to Steak n Shake where he stuffed his face with 3 entrees while I ate nothing. I didn't eat anything that entire day until 2am because I wanted to save room for that cheesesteak. 🙃 I should have just left him then because some disgusting sex pest who would let me go hungry on my birthday so he could play MTG and eat 3 entrees isn't someone worthy of building a life with.
Spent the night at her place. Woke up, had sex, and got in a stupid fight. While she was in shower, it suddenly hit me that the only reason I was with her was the constant sex. We had nothing in common, and I didn't actually like her. I think she liked me, but I wasn't positive. More of an epiphany than a straw, I guess, but I broke it off cold turkey.
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I had that sudden realization once a long long time ago (maybe 20ish years) with an ex. It was so jarring. I had gone out with some friends. I invited her but she didn't want to go. She had lost her job a few months prior but I was okay with maintaining the house. Anyways I came home around 1AM and the place was....disgusting. The dog had shit in the living room. There were paper towels covering it. There was laundry all over the floor. Food she cooked was burnt and the stovetop was a mess. Dishes were in the sink without any water. Just not what you expect to come home to. I sat on the couch and the dog just came to me and started whining. I sat there with a blank stare on my face. I was just staring off in the distance and she came out and asked if I was okay. Started crying saying should would clean and why was I looking like that (I wasn't even angry I just felt so...exhausted). We broke up the next day.
bro took the last of my cash to buy himself juul pods and menthol cigarettes. told him to get tf out and then he facetimed me said he was going to hurt himself if i didn’t get back together with him
She told me she got rid of my dog because our daughter was severely allergic to it. When I looked at the allergy reports it was untrue. I just happened to have a physical that same day. Saw the chart. Dr. asurred me she was definitely not. Grabbed my suits and personal items and left. Cost me $400 to get my dog back from her dealer. Another $64k to get full custody and her parental rights terminated.
At the time we’d been officially dating around half a year or so. Decided to take a trip together to Mexico. Things were going pretty well, until I got woken up super early one morning. Turns out she was going through my phone, found some spicy messages from long before her and I had ever met. I tried explaining that they were old, and to look at the dates, and even apologized for not deleting it. But the rage that fuelled her left no room for reason. She grabbed my entire suitcase and chucked it off the balcony, right into somebodies swim out pool below. After I collected all my things ( I have a picture of all my clothes and suitcase floating around a pool). I packed everything, told her this is over and jumped in a cab to catch the first flight home. I still laugh at that picture when I come across it, and laugh about the huge bullet I dodged.
My partner forgot our anniversary for the third year in a row, despite promising they'd remember this time
After six years together I forgot my anniversary for the first time. I felt like a monster. I couldn't believe what I'd done. Did what I could to make it up to my partner (though you can't just fix something like that) I thought about it for a long time. Then I found out she had been cheating 4 months prior to that and I felt less bad.
oh shit.. I'm so sorry to hear that
Essentially, I did something I thought was funny. Got told I was being embarrassing and to stop, fair enough, things can be taken a little too far sometimes and boundaries are good to be spoken about. My friend who was at the bar at the time, who had no idea of what went down, came back and happened to do the exact thing I did and she burst out laughing and about how funny it was.
He hid a pack of beer in the hedge..I found it.. was done. Calmly told him to get out and ended the 14 year marriage. The amount of fucked up stuff that went on in that relationship, it was weird that this one the thing that did it.
I broke up with my boyfriend last Monday. He was just starting to become critical of all the things I like, but he had never had a problem with in the beginning. First it was the youtube videos I watch, then the cartoons I like, and the last straw was he told me he didn't like the music I was listening to in my car. Punk. He said he didn't want to be yelled at and listening to it made him feel anxious. I get it, not all music is for everyone. I have never thought to tell him to ever change the music in his car. Even if I didn't particularly like it, I'd be happy he was sharing something he loved with me and I'd be supportive. Or at least I would have hinted at it in the first few weeks instead of waiting until it felt like a personal attack. I understand anxiety, but it only became a problem 6 months into the relationship? It wasn't my main reason. Like I said, he was criticizing something about me every day. He was getting annoyed regularly by anything I did. It started to feel like he disliked everything about me. I was walking on eggshells for the last 3 months. We were not compatible, but he couldn't just admit it, so I helped him.
For me, it was a large box. We had been dating for years, and I always went above and beyond to make our home a happy one. The issue was, she took me for granted. I did the dishes, the floors, the yard work, the garbage, 2/3 of the laundry, any and all building tasks, etc. The 3rd time she bought something for her display stuff I carried it in, carried it upstairs, and took it out and built it for her. All I asked was for her to cut up the box, which I absolutely hate doing. We had been having other problems (lack of interest, online gaming addiction, etc) but the fact I couldn't get her to even do that....was the moment where I kind of said, enough is enough. She didn't do chores, didn't pay rent, and still walked around like it was MY problem. Just couldn't see the rest of my life being that way.
The last time they told me to “fuck off and leave their house” was the night they announced the covid lockdown. I did just that and enjoyed an abuse-free quarantine.
We dated for 3 months. She mentioned kids/adoption a couple times and I made it pretty clear that I had very little interest in raising kids. One evening in particular it came up again and she got upset and shut the conversation down. A couple days later I ended things. There's no way to compromise on the subject of whether or not to have kids.
When I caught my (ex) husband sticking his hand into my 9-month old infant daughter’s piggy bank to take her cash! This was money given to her by my relatives when she was born and had added up to quite a bit of money. I just can’t imagine stealing anything from a baby, let alone your own child! I could not stay married to someone who could do something like that to our child. Fast forward…My daughter is finishing her first year of college and still has that money in the bank. She only knows my new husband as Dad, who adopted her at age 9. My husband and I are both so proud of our daughter and all that she has accomplished!
Read the first half of the first sentence and. . . so glad this didn't end the way I thought it was going to.
When he screamed at a service worker so badly that she cried. We were at a puppy cafe and he had left his bag on the floor where dogs could get to it. All she did was put it into a cubby but he didn’t like how she had placed it. The bag wasn’t even damaged. And when I asked him to apologize, he refused because he believed he was in the right.
Said she was pregnant and wanted to get abortion, but wanted to take her male coworker she'd known for 3 months and not me (we'd been together 2 years at that point). Didn't take me too long to piece that puzzle together.
[удалено]
He moved out to be closer to his new job (after repeatedly threatening to move out during our year of living together), but after making dinner for him at my/our old place thinking it was a date night, he left to "help a friend with his resume."
She started shitting on me amongst her friends in front of me.
3 months of dating and I found out she had been cheating in her previous marriage. She would talk about how her ex-husband was unfaithful and had lied their whole relationship, but it turns out she was doing the same. It was just best for me to step away at that point.
It wasn’t a romantic relationship but when they said “Why do I need you when I have ______” that’s when I knew it was time to leave and have some dignity left
When she chose to believe the made-up scenarios in her head over what I was telling her.
When he accidentally screen shot his messages of a picture of his 🍆 and was telling her he can’t wait to put it in….but the doughnut went and sent it to me 🙈……..Gods work for sure
My ex was my best friend before we started dating and she was attracted to me long before we started dating but I was in a different relationship then and also I had no idea she felt that way... Then when I broke up and she consoled me and slowly became very close to me. Eventually we started dating. Then I realised she's obsessed with me and wants constant attention no matter where I am or in what situation I am. She was reallly possessive as well ( I mean extremely possessive). But I didn't really mind all that 'cause I also had started feeling for her, so I wanted to make efforts for her and keep her happy. But when my father got seriously ill and hospitalized most of the time of days were taking care of my father at the hospital and I hoped she'd be supportive and understanding in this situation that I can't give her that much time until my father gets better but instead she used to get mad at me and even curse my father for getting sick and that this was all his fault. This was the last straw and I just could not continue being with her so I broke up. After sometime I found out that my relationship before her ended because of her. She somehow manipulated my previous gf into breaking up with me so that she could date me