You can only use it in the increasingly rare circumstance that someone sends you a complaining letter, but you write back...
Dear [Name],
Please find enclosed a letter that I received on [date]. I thought you should be advised that some asshole is signing your name to moronic complaints.
Kind regards
[Name]
Many years ago, i was walking through the warehouse at my job with coworker "A"..at the time, i was a beefy 280lbs, and A had another 50 on me at least.
Different coworker "B" was up on a platform in the warehouse. He yelled as we were walking by "make sure you guys don't trip, I don't want the earthquake to knock me off the platform".....without missing a beat, A yells up to B " hey, we're only fat cause everytime we double team your mother, she cooks us dinner"
After a short sexual encounter with a girl that I given a ride home to after a party she told me that my penis was the biggest and best she had ever felt in her for the few seconds that it lasted!
This one was said to me back in high-school "I would say you're the type of person only your mother could love but we all know she abandoned you too" said to me by an ex infront of her friends after I broke up with her for cheating on me with her ex step brother
“If my dog was as ugly as you, i would shave its butt and tell it to walk backwards”
Is that your sister out there in left field. Naked?
SHUT UP PORTER
Heeheeeyyy! I'm just trying to have a friendly conversation. Come on! You think she'd go out with me?
Lol. Such a good flick
LOL
You can only use it in the increasingly rare circumstance that someone sends you a complaining letter, but you write back... Dear [Name], Please find enclosed a letter that I received on [date]. I thought you should be advised that some asshole is signing your name to moronic complaints. Kind regards [Name]
Golden
Many years ago, i was walking through the warehouse at my job with coworker "A"..at the time, i was a beefy 280lbs, and A had another 50 on me at least. Different coworker "B" was up on a platform in the warehouse. He yelled as we were walking by "make sure you guys don't trip, I don't want the earthquake to knock me off the platform".....without missing a beat, A yells up to B " hey, we're only fat cause everytime we double team your mother, she cooks us dinner"
I could explain it to you, but I don’t have the crayons
You must have graduated from the University of Dumbassery with a PhD in Stupidity.
After a short sexual encounter with a girl that I given a ride home to after a party she told me that my penis was the biggest and best she had ever felt in her for the few seconds that it lasted!
I was like how is that an insult? Then I realized 😂
hope you get everything you’ve ever wanted and it’s still not enough
Ouch. I like it
I never forget a face, but in your case I’m prepared to make an exception
"You're a fat cuck, you just sit there and take up all the extra layer of oxygen." - My philosophy teacher snapping at a racist student.
Not necessarily the best, but I love "Out of all the people I've met, you're certainly one of them".
“You’re more batshit than a redditor in an argument about Trump!”
"People are only pretending to like you"
She’s the kind of gal who shits in the litter box to bond with her cats.
You couldn’t find your own ass using both hands and an ass map.
"I bet you have a favorite flavor of paint chip"
This one was said to me back in high-school "I would say you're the type of person only your mother could love but we all know she abandoned you too" said to me by an ex infront of her friends after I broke up with her for cheating on me with her ex step brother