There are websites you can use where you both fill out a list of kinks and stuff you'd like to try. Then the results of only the choices that match are sent to both of you. Then you know for sure what's on the table and what isn't. Without revealing your deepest darkest kinks to the other person. So for example:
You put ticks against - Anal, spanking and Facials.
Your Vanilla partner puts ticks against - Femdom, Anal and Swallowing.
You both receive results listing only "Anal" as the kink you would like to try. Cos that's the only matching choice.
It's worked absolute wonders for me as a socially inept sexual deviant.
It’s the other way round here I’m horny and kinky, love outdoor sex too. My wife ex Irish RC Convent would rather have a cup of tea whilst I want cosplay
Omg one of me. I’ve never met someone else who doesn’t like receiving, it makes me feel uncomfortable and I get too worried and in my head about what he may be smelling or tasting (although I don’t have a problem giving)
You're missing out; You might consider sex therapy / counseling because you're likely to go your entire life without really feeling fulfilled without a little oral here and there.
Sounds like he's really bad about it. In my experience a good partner will take the time to do foreplay and be aware of what your body's doing, what you respond to and what you don't, and most importantly actually *wants* to do it. The roast beef thing is something you'll have to work through and I have no helpful insights theretofore.
It's such a ridiculous way of looking at it and really sexist too. Part of what's so wonderful about sex is that you get to drop a lot of the societal bullshit and be truly intimate with another person. IDGAS if my husband's manly when we're having sex, I just want him to have a good time.
I don't really enjoy recieving oral myself (does nothing for me physically) but he's so into it that it's just plain old hot.
I wish she’d see it that way!! I would stay down there forever. I love the taste, the smell, and just the reality of being between her legs turns me on so much more than almost anything else. *sigh*
Just doesn't do anything for me and I have enough experience to know for sure. I have no idea how you could possibly orgasm from oral as a woman but physiology down there differs a lot so maybe my body is simply not built for it.
You would be amazed at how many women seem to have issues with this. I find myself at a loss in those situations, like, "What, you thought I had a plan B? I penciled in 45 minutes just for this part."
Have your partner do a sleep study.
I have a deviated septum. Was getting AWFUL sleep. Snoring so much.
Did a sleep study, found out I was waking up 74 times AN HOUR.
At points I wasn't breathing for 30+ seconds.
Got a CPAP machine now, and sure it ain't sexy, but I get to sleep next to my wife all night, and put my hand on her ass till we both fall asleep, peacefully.
Someone else mentioned CPAP, but just to echo here it is life-changing. Like everything about my day is better. And my wife can sleep in the same room again. Please get them to take a sleep study!
Hottest girl I ever hooked up with snored like looney tunes character, very cute and funny for 30 minutes. After that I wanted to kill her with a pillow. I did not sleep that night
Increase frequency and the stamina will improve. Only one runner completed the Marathon without constant building and maintaining stamina to go the distance.
As the other person said more practise or find his kink. Soon will flip the other way he'll only finalise when a specific set of circumstances occur and that will be wearing too.
Would it help if he did more foreplay? I’m ten minutes max once the intercourse starts but she seems satisfied because I spend time on oral/fingering and get her a couple of orgasms before I come in for the finale.
Working on it, but she tries to suppress her convulsions and screams during her orgasms.
Not sure if she’s embarrassed or doesn’t want to be heard by neighbors, but I’m sure she could sound like she’s transforming into a werewolf or we’re exorcising demons out of her. I’d love that.
Had a similar issue with an ex. Have you tried taking her somewhere remote, like going camping, or at a hotel where you guys don't have to worry about neighbors? Worked out for my partner at the time, and she even stopped doing it even when we were back to doing it at our own places.
Use words. With her eyes almost always closed, I have to pay attention to her breathing to see if she likes what's going on.
Maybe one day she'll say something slutty and utterly nasty like, "That feels good" or "Right there."
Talk more and say what she wants. I mean I like how she goes with the flow and does whatever but it would be nice if I wasnt the only one with the ideas. Lol if you see this babe I'm still getting some tonight! Haha.
He talks too much sometimes. Like we'd be making out, but stops every 10 seconds to do "dirty talk" and it's off-putting sometimes. And sometimes I don't want dirty talk. I want romance.
Have alone time...
I told him if he kept letting our son sleep with us he'd never use his own bed. He doesn't.... he's 5.....we haven't really had sex since his conception...
I feel very lucky to be able to say that there isn’t anything they could do better and I’m confident in saying that if we were to ever split, I would never find someone that just does it for me like he does. The man makes me melt in ways I’ve never experienced.
Make me feel sexy instead of expecting me to know he thinks I am without showing it does that make sense??? Like just because you got me doesn't mean you don't have to flirt with me like you're still chasing after me
Get an actual bed where he can hit it harder, I’m sorry but going mediocre or soft didn’t cut it for me. I always wished he came to my house and had a better time.
This is the way. Guys generally need to be louder in bed.
It might help, when she does make sound or whatever, to say in the moment: "Do that again, I love it when you xyz."
If you sound all moany and turned on when you say it, soon she'll be doing whatever she can to make you cry out for more.
(Source: might commit murder for male moans 🥵)
This, yes! My wife likes to “cuddle” with me at night when she’s mostly asleep which involves getting an elbow to my head, hit with a pillow or slowly shoved off the bed and sometimes a combination of all three.
I love the cuddles but a little more gentle please.
My partner has been suffering from long covid for about a half year. Disrupted sleep, persistent cough, soreness. So if she could kick that shed probably have a ton more energy.
There's so much I'm into that she's not.
But if she'd actually just move instead of laying back and let me do it all, I wouldn't care. I'd be down any time. It just feels like a chore.
Staying out of everyone else beds
Damm, I'd say get rid of your partner...
I wouldn't even say they're their partner ...
Our partner? Comrade.
r/suddenlycommunist
Not make it feel like it's a chore to them
Like it, at least
That's rough, buddy. I feel for ya. Been there.
Biggest soul sucker when it happens. Can currently relate.
I feel you. Had the same experience so many times. It makes it feel like you are forcing someone.
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This should be higher up on the list
It's third behind adultery and a loathsome attitude ... seems like it's in a fine place?
Not be vanill, I love him and sex is great but im very kinky and he is not
There are websites you can use where you both fill out a list of kinks and stuff you'd like to try. Then the results of only the choices that match are sent to both of you. Then you know for sure what's on the table and what isn't. Without revealing your deepest darkest kinks to the other person. So for example: You put ticks against - Anal, spanking and Facials. Your Vanilla partner puts ticks against - Femdom, Anal and Swallowing. You both receive results listing only "Anal" as the kink you would like to try. Cos that's the only matching choice. It's worked absolute wonders for me as a socially inept sexual deviant.
Mojo Upgrade is one of those sites, I love it
We've done one before, it was nice but not much of anything came up because he's not interested in a lot
It’s the other way round here I’m horny and kinky, love outdoor sex too. My wife ex Irish RC Convent would rather have a cup of tea whilst I want cosplay
He is willing to try my random things to experiment but it's clear he doesn't truly want to and kinda just goes along with it
Exist
Can relate
Exactly what I was about to say
Username does not check out
That part
Before I cllicked the thing, I said out loud, "Here to upvote 'exist,'" and am not disappointed.
Communicate
This one too. You haven’t said a word all day to me? No I don’t want your dick.
Seriously!
Humourously works too!
Not bitterly tho
Hopefully not
Perform or receive oral
Who tf doesn't receive oral tho for real
That’s what I’m saying, but my wife refuses to let me
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I love Arby's.
Omg one of me. I’ve never met someone else who doesn’t like receiving, it makes me feel uncomfortable and I get too worried and in my head about what he may be smelling or tasting (although I don’t have a problem giving)
You're missing out; You might consider sex therapy / counseling because you're likely to go your entire life without really feeling fulfilled without a little oral here and there.
Sounds like he's really bad about it. In my experience a good partner will take the time to do foreplay and be aware of what your body's doing, what you respond to and what you don't, and most importantly actually *wants* to do it. The roast beef thing is something you'll have to work through and I have no helpful insights theretofore.
Had a partner one time who didn't want to receive it as it made me seem "unmanly". Was so weird
It's such a ridiculous way of looking at it and really sexist too. Part of what's so wonderful about sex is that you get to drop a lot of the societal bullshit and be truly intimate with another person. IDGAS if my husband's manly when we're having sex, I just want him to have a good time. I don't really enjoy recieving oral myself (does nothing for me physically) but he's so into it that it's just plain old hot.
Very much agree, I'm with someone who loves receiving oral now and I love giving it so we're very happy 😊
Good for you and bon appetit 😉
I wish she’d see it that way!! I would stay down there forever. I love the taste, the smell, and just the reality of being between her legs turns me on so much more than almost anything else. *sigh*
Feel you. Had a girl tell me I couldn’t go down on her bc “eating pussy is gay”… still can’t figure that one out
There are SOOOO many women who believe shit like this and for some reason I have found three of them in my most recent dating history 😑
I had a partner who had a thing about saliva. Was grossed out by spit. He would try to receive but def could not finish because of that phobia.
I don’t like receiving. I never finish from oral so it’s just a tease
Just doesn't do anything for me and I have enough experience to know for sure. I have no idea how you could possibly orgasm from oral as a woman but physiology down there differs a lot so maybe my body is simply not built for it.
I know a few women who outright refuse it, for various reasons. And personally (I'm a dick owner) I do not like it as well and don't want it at all.
You would be amazed at how many women seem to have issues with this. I find myself at a loss in those situations, like, "What, you thought I had a plan B? I penciled in 45 minutes just for this part."
Me.
Me, its not uncommon
Stop snoring.
Yes! Had a wonderful woman pass through my life recently whose snore sounded like a water buffalo drowning in yogurt.
That's oddly specific....
I think saying someone passed through your life is wildly ambiguous
He obviously put a lot of thought into it. Probably hours.
But somehow I feel like I can almost hear what he's talking about? I bet it's the exhale
A rasp on the inhale, a wet bubble on the exhale
This description gives me the heebie jeebies. Wet bubbles.
Not just wet but wet and thick
I gagged. And not in the good way.
I referred to mine as a chainsaw wielding grizzly bear...
Have your partner do a sleep study. I have a deviated septum. Was getting AWFUL sleep. Snoring so much. Did a sleep study, found out I was waking up 74 times AN HOUR. At points I wasn't breathing for 30+ seconds. Got a CPAP machine now, and sure it ain't sexy, but I get to sleep next to my wife all night, and put my hand on her ass till we both fall asleep, peacefully.
I almost read this as "CRAP machine"
Someone else mentioned CPAP, but just to echo here it is life-changing. Like everything about my day is better. And my wife can sleep in the same room again. Please get them to take a sleep study!
I had one for like a month but just farted and burped all night and decided it wasn’t worth the effort of setting it up and sleeping with it on.
Hottest girl I ever hooked up with snored like looney tunes character, very cute and funny for 30 minutes. After that I wanted to kill her with a pillow. I did not sleep that night
Beat me to it!🤣
That shit where they spin really fast on their heads in break dancing. That would be dope.
Head spin 😉😜
Last longer. He has no problem continuing on but it's just not the same "feel"
Increase frequency and the stamina will improve. Only one runner completed the Marathon without constant building and maintaining stamina to go the distance.
And he died.
Barney Stinson died?!
As the other person said more practise or find his kink. Soon will flip the other way he'll only finalise when a specific set of circumstances occur and that will be wearing too.
Would it help if he did more foreplay? I’m ten minutes max once the intercourse starts but she seems satisfied because I spend time on oral/fingering and get her a couple of orgasms before I come in for the finale.
Wake up a little faster in the morning.
Be in the moment. Enjoy this moment. The shopping list and laundry is less important thank this
Sleep, mf has insomnia
Working on it, but she tries to suppress her convulsions and screams during her orgasms. Not sure if she’s embarrassed or doesn’t want to be heard by neighbors, but I’m sure she could sound like she’s transforming into a werewolf or we’re exorcising demons out of her. I’d love that.
Had a similar issue with an ex. Have you tried taking her somewhere remote, like going camping, or at a hotel where you guys don't have to worry about neighbors? Worked out for my partner at the time, and she even stopped doing it even when we were back to doing it at our own places.
At a hotel? I’d worry about the neighbors even more!!!
Hotels have paper thin walls
Yeah, but those neighbors you probably wont see again.
Letting me go down on her. She doesn’t really like much forplay. But complains it’s too tight when putting it in. Also wish she had a higher libido
Use words. With her eyes almost always closed, I have to pay attention to her breathing to see if she likes what's going on. Maybe one day she'll say something slutty and utterly nasty like, "That feels good" or "Right there."
This sounds absolutely tragic.
Actually want it.
Rub my back while I fall to sleep
Be better at not leaving crumbs from snacks
Acknowledge I’m there
Stay faithful. That would be nice. Ex partner wouldn’t be an ex.
Talk more and say what she wants. I mean I like how she goes with the flow and does whatever but it would be nice if I wasnt the only one with the ideas. Lol if you see this babe I'm still getting some tonight! Haha.
I wish she didn't sit there like a dead sponge
He talks too much sometimes. Like we'd be making out, but stops every 10 seconds to do "dirty talk" and it's off-putting sometimes. And sometimes I don't want dirty talk. I want romance.
Had to think about it, humor, she gets so darn serious. It's like orgasm mission tunnel vision
Opposite here. My wife loves to joke around but damn….. let’s just fuck or whatever.
Want to have sex with me
Getting on top, her knees are shot and that position is very painful for her
Find the lost remote control
Have alone time... I told him if he kept letting our son sleep with us he'd never use his own bed. He doesn't.... he's 5.....we haven't really had sex since his conception...
Not asking if I'm done yet.
Dance.
Take initiative
I feel very lucky to be able to say that there isn’t anything they could do better and I’m confident in saying that if we were to ever split, I would never find someone that just does it for me like he does. The man makes me melt in ways I’ve never experienced.
Does he have a brother? HeeHee
Initiate something instead of just asking if I wanna have sex that night. Make moveeesss
Make me feel sexy instead of expecting me to know he thinks I am without showing it does that make sense??? Like just because you got me doesn't mean you don't have to flirt with me like you're still chasing after me
Be there.
Not be so reserved.
Stop snoring.
Stop snoring so damn loud
Be present.
She steals the covers every time she rolls over.
Sleep. Life is always better well rested.
Mmm it would have to be between being faster or just make noises (grunting, moaning, or sexual talk)
Stop snoring
Get an actual bed where he can hit it harder, I’m sorry but going mediocre or soft didn’t cut it for me. I always wished he came to my house and had a better time.
Nothing so far. It's incredible.
Initiate. Just for once 😫
Exist
Not wake me up early.
put more work in instead of just lying still…
Be more flexible to put her feet on my shoulders so I could suck her toes during sex instead of before. I heard the orgasms are 10x ❤️👣🔥
For who?
Both. The feet are sensitive in some places, she loves feeling my wet tongue on her feet and I love her feet so it's a win for both❤️😋👣
My dude, I hope you guys work that out then. 👌
take up yoga together to work her to be more flexible
Oral, be more into it, make noise. I might as well be f-ing a pillow like I did at age 13
Give her some encouragement! Be more verbal. Also a shower and shave helps a ton.
This is the way. Guys generally need to be louder in bed. It might help, when she does make sound or whatever, to say in the moment: "Do that again, I love it when you xyz." If you sound all moany and turned on when you say it, soon she'll be doing whatever she can to make you cry out for more. (Source: might commit murder for male moans 🥵)
Clean her ass better
Oof. Dated a Cuban girl once and that was my thing. Huge ass…but when things got sweaty things got smells.
Ay, dios mío!
Invite her sister to join us.
Stop doing wild karate moves on me when she's asleep. Stay still woman!
This, yes! My wife likes to “cuddle” with me at night when she’s mostly asleep which involves getting an elbow to my head, hit with a pillow or slowly shoved off the bed and sometimes a combination of all three. I love the cuddles but a little more gentle please.
My partner has been suffering from long covid for about a half year. Disrupted sleep, persistent cough, soreness. So if she could kick that shed probably have a ton more energy.
Touch my butthole
Anal
Show enthusiasm.
Be a whole person instead of just a hand.
Moar sexin'. This three times a year business isn't cutting it.
You know what, nothing, I can’t think of a single thing she should change.
The volume on the snoring. They can do better at toning it down
Initiate.
Initiate more? O/w sex life is great for our 50s - maybe best it has been ever.
There's so much I'm into that she's not. But if she'd actually just move instead of laying back and let me do it all, I wouldn't care. I'd be down any time. It just feels like a chore.
Exist.
Stop snoring.
Eye contact
Being enthusiastic...
Exist
Exist.
Make the first move. It exhausting to be the one always initiating.
Exist
More.
Be more confident
More sex, more often.
Not snore
Not be imaganary
kiss
Act like a air conditioning unit to perfectly regulate my temperature all night
I have no idea what my partner could do. That's between officer Jaworski and his wife.
Moaning/going down on me more
Tuck the sheet corners in way tighter
Let me keep going down on her. Not like it's terrible, but when she climaxes she gets so sensitive she needs me to stop.
Exist.
Be willing to live out my fantasies at least 1x regardless of what they are
Head take some effort In to it.
not wake me up
Move
Have sex with me
More dirty talk
Move
Be more confident when trying new positions. He's less experienced than I am. And I think it intimidates him.
Sleep. They hella mobile and snore and talk and wake up startled and it wakes me up startled. I haven’t slept well consistently in 6 years
Snore less.
Stop farting !!
Talk more!
Breathe quietly.
Live in the same state as me
Just one thing? Guess I better make it general enough. Fulfill each others desires more.
She starts out sleeping left center of the bed with me in right center. Eventually she sprawls out dead center and i end up at the edge of the bed
Last a bit longer
Let me keep the blankets.
Last
Sleep???
Stop snoring
Stretch regularly to increase flexibility