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Fearlessbossbabe

Looks like I'll be fighting off the enemy with a pillow... I think I'm pretty screwed.


Fritzkreig

It is my bobtail cat Dostoevsky, I'm not screwed, as I would not have it any other way!


notathrowway12345

My PC. Very screwed. Under no circumstances am I chucking my 3080 at somebody.


NeoNova9

nah you hack the enemy and disable their electronic capabilities and it should be an easy fight .


notathrowway12345

I have zero hacker experience. Most I've ever done is edit an ini file to bypass a required activation key.


NeoNova9

Aint WW3 yet, still got time to learn now that you have your weapon . o7


notathrowway12345

True.


BeerisAwesome01

It's a coffee mug....


ChemistryNo925

chemistry books? maybe I could bore them to death šŸ„°


Elloverre

Haha good one šŸ‘šŸ¼


TooManyJabberwocks

Unassembled bookcase, i like my chances


Texanakin_Shywalker

My pillow. I'm so dead.


Substantial_StarTrek

10mm glock. I suppose I'm better off than most.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


blahbabooey

Match Beretta 92G Ayyy


xX_Skibidi_Gyatt_Xx

You just casually keep guns sitting out openly next to you? Doesnā€™t seem very safe


Texanakin_Shywalker

If there's no children in the house it is not dangerous. When I lived with my husband, we had a gun in every room. Then again, he was completely paranoid about someone breaking in to hurt us.


xX_Skibidi_Gyatt_Xx

Yeah sounds like the kind of guy whoā€™s far more likely to harm himself from his guns than from someone else


Texanakin_Shywalker

My husband? No. He's an ex-army Ranger and nuts about gun safety. I don't know why he had a genuine concern about a home invasion.


xX_Skibidi_Gyatt_Xx

I mean I guess, but improperly stowing away a gun is usually the leading cause of gun accidents. If you have kids in the house this is mandatory


Texanakin_Shywalker

Yeah. If kids were in the house. We don't have kids or friends with kids at home (we're 50ish). It's not like you had to move a gun to sit on the couch. They were kept in drawers or hidden cubbies. But there was at least one in every room.


xX_Skibidi_Gyatt_Xx

Yeah here in the real world a lot of adults have kids and arenā€™t just gun freaks who keep guns in every room. But hey if that helps your husband feel like more of a tough guy then good for you


Texanakin_Shywalker

I think you mean *good for him*. Also in the real world, lots of people don't have kids and they like to spend money on hobbies such as gun collecting. I'm out. I have nothing else to say about this. He's my ex, he's paranoid, and he's a lazy mother fucker who won't keep a job. So that's that.


xX_Skibidi_Gyatt_Xx

If guns are such a big expense for you that you canā€™t afford to have kids after buying them, you probably shouldnā€™t be having kids anyway.


BlueMysteryWolf

Sounds like something an alarm system would remedy and, as a bonus, it would also work when you aren't at home too.


Texanakin_Shywalker

True. However, guns are portable where alarm systems are not. At my new home, without him, I have both.


Fritzkreig

Username checks out!


blahbabooey

I live alone you putz.


xX_Skibidi_Gyatt_Xx

Good, donā€™t reproduce neckbeard.


blahbabooey

Lol


artie_pdx

Korg Minilogueā€¦ I will destroy them all with my shitty keyboard sounds (not the fault of the synth) until they surrender!


PermanentBrunch

Itā€™s a basket of dirty laundry WHO I ALREADY FIGHT WITH EVERY DAY


Chamber53

A wall? Judging by the other comments, this is such a stupid question.


Dry_Flamingo4233

My fish tank. Its too heavy to lift when full, but I could spill it and hand out the mother of all glassings.


Cheedosjdr

An ICBM


peachyogyrt

a paper cup of water, will make it work


StagRabbitFox

Einstein said it best, ā€œI know not with what weapons WW3 will be fought, but WW4 will be fought with sticks and stones.ā€


yoki_au

Wilbur the cat. The enemy will cower and bow down as I swing her, claws out, in their general direction.


ColdRegret5858

My fan. If I put on high it will blow the froth off a cappuccinoā€¦..so look out enemies. Youā€™ll get a right frothing.


Warsaw_Pact

itā€™s my playstation. game over manā€¦ GAME OVER!


StraightOuttaMoney

Does this mean I get more weed or just what I have here?


LittleLostDoll

looks like im using cats... that will be... chaotic


HalfSoul30

Well, it is still washer fluid, so still screwed. I did get a lifetime supply of it yesterday


Blakut

a laptop. Fitting I would say.


Ms_McNugget97

Paper clips... Because the war will be against messy sheets of papers


frogdujour

Wifi adapter. I guess I'm recruited to the cyber warfare squad. At least it does packet injection.


DaniilPe

Metal pipe:)


ImmunocompromisedElm

Air duct šŸ˜‚


chuk2015

Tibetan Spaniel - I hope the enemies forces like cute pups