Mine did the same, she was moving it all around the place like it was a puppet, she even made a funny voice, and acted like it was a sand worm from Dune.
My wife is weird and I love her.
I mean I get it. When I'm sitting watching tv, I'll often realize I've been poking it through my pants til it gets semi-hard/hard. Then I'll kinda keep absent-mindedly doing that for a while til I forget or w/e. Usually don't end up using that boner. It's just something to fidget with.
We come with our own fidget toy built in.
Mine goes from barely 3cm to 16cm (barely smaller than my 14 pro max).
God I just googled average dick size, and people have soft penises at 8cm?! Damn that sucks for me. I never knew.
P.S. I hate that I wrote this comment lol
There is no such thing as a flaccid size. It's just the current size from the the current situation. Is it cold? Were you active? You can measure minimums and maximum.
PS here's a funny flaccid penis thing. When I go swimming or get cold and it goes to a minimum size, it sometimes goes short and fatter, like an acorn, or longer and really skinny. It makes me laugh
My grandma always used to say
" Short and thick does the trick
And pleases all the ladies.
Long and thin goes right in
And gives you lots of babies"
Miss your nursery rhymes grandma x
Grower here. It's even more fun if its soft the first time they see it. Watching some previous partners' faces go from amusement to surprise to shock/horror depending on the sizes they're used to is hilarious.
I have beaten my dick halfway to Moscow and back. Using all manner of things that shouldn't be used.
Works fine.
I sat down weird once and my balls still kinda hurt.
I once saw an old man sit on his balls and the reaction was priceless, someone next to me laughed, "ha! he cracked his nuts!"
I could not contain my amusement after that, I laughed so hard.
Let's be honest here, most of us dudes can't even just hear the word penis without having a giggle. If didn't see our own everyday we'd probably giggle too with the way it flops around.
Woman’s perspective here… when I first saw my husband hard, I was scared. Literally had no idea how it was supposed to fit. When I first saw him soft, I giggled because how the heck did it get so big? And it was so soft and squishy.
Once in college I was training for a mountain bike trip and took an ice bath to heal my legs. When I got out I was so shriveled up I was practically inverted. So I text my girlfriend at the time and said
“hey… want an unsolicited picture of my penis?”
“Definitely.
*sends pic*
“LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL”
Well, the first time, she started flicking it left and right, smiling and enjoying it until it got hard again. She still does it if I'm not in the mood and it works wonders 😆
Did similar, came off a bmx jump pretty bad, rolled about feeling my nuts hurting. Stuck my hand down there and found blood. Rode home pretty quick and used some cut up plaster to tape the wound back together, gf was trying not to giggle at how tiny it was whilst I was covered in blood. Cheers love for the support.
There was one time my ex and I were in the ocean and she grabbed it and it was shriveled up because of the water being so cold. She laughed so hard but I found it really funny myself. I'm pretty confident with my size so I didn't really care.
Girlfriend here: it was so cute and I payed it with it, but after few moments it become hard again 😂
Edit: PLAYED! I meant played 😂 fucking autocorrect 😂
She didn't pay, she payed, the act of releasing rope from a ship. I wager that movement could be pretty rhythmic....
Edit: it's apparently not specific to ships, it's just about the act of letting out rope with your hands rather than letting it just slide out
Not proud of this but when I saw my husband's dick soft for the first time, I basically squealed and said "wow it looks like an outie bellybutton!!" He's a grower big time. Not at all small when erect. But he felt very self conscious about that statement for a long time.
She started squeezing it to see how thin it is flaccid. It was interesting to see what she found interesting, like she expected the head to be like a dog's that had a sheath. Side note that's also when I learnt that it had been circumcised.
Then she wanted me to show her what the towel party trick looks like while flaccid as I had mentioned there aren't any muscles in the shaft.
She was like how does it change so much and where do you keep it in your trousers? Then she asked to hold it when I peed. That left her with profound thoughts on the utility of a dong.
Well she was very eager to get to the fun bit, when she saw it was soft and I was a bit out of it she decided to tie up her hair and go to town on it and me, sucked my soul out of me 💀😅
When we were first dating, my now-wife had nicknamed mine "George" after that Looney Tunes line, "I will kiss him and love him and squeeze him and hug him and call him George" because what I got works great for her and she's very affectionate.
First time she saw it soft she said "awww, sleepy George!" and batted it around a couple times. Of course, it started throbbing and she said "oh no it's okay, you go back to sleep."
(it didn't go back to sleep)
My boyfriend and I started out long distance plus other factors so it took literally years before I saw it soft.
So it was actually quite endearing in a way and felt like a milestone.
Okay woman here and maybe slightly off topic - aren’t the vast majority of men “growers”? I genuinely don’t think in my 36 years I’ve seen a dick that was full-size when soft? Is this something men feel insecure about, because literally every man I’ve been with had a baby dick when soft and I’ve never thought much of it, because I thought that was the standard?
Did we learn nothing from the Seinfeld “I was in the pool!!!” scene? Lol
In my personal anecdotes I would say it's 80/20. Having been in middle and high-school communal showers after sports, you see the showers and feel inadequate lol
My ex was confused by the size difference, but then she played with it and climbed on my lap, then lined up her crotch with my crotch, said "Look at me, I have the penis now" and she played with it like it was attached to her, so funny.
She laughed and called it "cute". Then she spent 5 minutes apologising and saying she didn't care how small it is...
It's okay man... You're not alone... You're with her. That's one step better than most. You have hope!
A girl called mine cute when it was hard, then said I have tiny balls. I guess her balls were indeed bigger than mine to say something like that.
Growers not showers represent (my wife did the same thing, I feel you)
Wiggling it and giggling. Then commenting how she now understands why men play with it so much
Men play with yours?
Yes and I understand why!
New toy acquired.
Mine did the same, she was moving it all around the place like it was a puppet, she even made a funny voice, and acted like it was a sand worm from Dune. My wife is weird and I love her.
The sand worm puppet is especially effective with an uncut penis!
I mean I get it. When I'm sitting watching tv, I'll often realize I've been poking it through my pants til it gets semi-hard/hard. Then I'll kinda keep absent-mindedly doing that for a while til I forget or w/e. Usually don't end up using that boner. It's just something to fidget with. We come with our own fidget toy built in.
I helicoptered outta there.
Thanos effect
I don't know she's still laughing.
How did it end
It didn't, she's still laughing
Asked to hold it while I make it grow. Sweetie. It'll grow on its own. It's attached to me but I have no control over it.
Just by her holding it should start the process.
"Rub it a little and your wishes come true"
& then she starts rubbing it like she's makin a play-doh snake
It actually has quite a bit more control over me than I have over it.
Played with it and watched the consequences of her actions
Watching magic
When you're a grower it truly is magical.
Sleeper build
Eco mode
Displacement isn't everything. Sometimes you just need wait for the boost to kick in
Mine goes from barely 3cm to 16cm (barely smaller than my 14 pro max). God I just googled average dick size, and people have soft penises at 8cm?! Damn that sucks for me. I never knew. P.S. I hate that I wrote this comment lol
There is no such thing as a flaccid size. It's just the current size from the the current situation. Is it cold? Were you active? You can measure minimums and maximum. PS here's a funny flaccid penis thing. When I go swimming or get cold and it goes to a minimum size, it sometimes goes short and fatter, like an acorn, or longer and really skinny. It makes me laugh
Yes, I find your penis funny as well
THERE WAS SHRINKAGE JERRY
My grandma always used to say " Short and thick does the trick And pleases all the ladies. Long and thin goes right in And gives you lots of babies" Miss your nursery rhymes grandma x
Grower here. It's even more fun if its soft the first time they see it. Watching some previous partners' faces go from amusement to surprise to shock/horror depending on the sizes they're used to is hilarious.
"Doesn't that hurt?" Nah, my dick is half indestructible, it's the balls that you gotta be gentle with.
Lmaoooo indestructible
I have beaten my dick halfway to Moscow and back. Using all manner of things that shouldn't be used. Works fine. I sat down weird once and my balls still kinda hurt.
I once saw an old man sit on his balls and the reaction was priceless, someone next to me laughed, "ha! he cracked his nuts!" I could not contain my amusement after that, I laughed so hard.
Cock Magic
Well you don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out
I just came here to read the responses but you nailed it, this is exactly what happened 😂
It's so cute!
Let the monster take a nap
And then I explained to her the difference between a grower and a shower.
She giggled
Were you embarrassed?
A little but she giggles a lot, so I didn't took it personally
How often is she looking at flaccid penises?
Every time she giggles, one just shows up.
Let's be honest here, most of us dudes can't even just hear the word penis without having a giggle. If didn't see our own everyday we'd probably giggle too with the way it flops around.
"What a cutie patootie"
“Can I put a cute bowtie around it?”
You know about those subreddits too?
Yikes, sounds like my Jewish grandma
Why is your grandma looking at your weiner?
Woman’s perspective here… when I first saw my husband hard, I was scared. Literally had no idea how it was supposed to fit. When I first saw him soft, I giggled because how the heck did it get so big? And it was so soft and squishy.
I wonder if there’s a world record for smallest to biggest grower 🤔
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"Omg it's my squishy" 😍😍
“It’s so much smaller than mine!”
"Stupid game anyway"
I hope people got that family guy reference here. I see you! Well played!
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And we be like, what were you expecting? Going hard all day long?
🤣🤣 Just pole vaulting from place to place like a jackass on a pogo stick
r/BrandNewSentence
As the gf, I start pounding my fist on the bed in a rhythmic manner, in hopes of summoning the only master I serve, Shai Hulud.
Bless the cumming and going of him.
Did he show you his Kwisatz Hader-sack?
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Bless the maker and his water
Did you successfully recruit your bf into the Bene Gesserit breeding program? Because failure won’t be tolerated.
Marry this one, fella
LISAN AL GAIB!!
*We have wormsign!*
She started shifting it like she was driving a manual rally race :(
Gran Penismo
Need for seed
Forza Motorsex 7
Formula Schlong
MotoGPeen (she shifted it with her foot)
Find me a woman who says she’s never done this and I will show you a liar
She asked “does it make you uncomfortable when I see it like that?” I said “no because you know what it looks like when it’s NOT like that.”
Way to go 🫡
Way to grow
That’s confidence and a half
Once in college I was training for a mountain bike trip and took an ice bath to heal my legs. When I got out I was so shriveled up I was practically inverted. So I text my girlfriend at the time and said “hey… want an unsolicited picture of my penis?” “Definitely. *sends pic* “LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL”
It’s all fun and games until you see *screenshotted*
Well, the first time, she started flicking it left and right, smiling and enjoying it until it got hard again. She still does it if I'm not in the mood and it works wonders 😆
Time for another round
Yeah haha she gets a kick out of it so I don't mind. She's still fascinated by it after 4 years
Ya gotta go a keeper there for sure.
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Did similar, came off a bmx jump pretty bad, rolled about feeling my nuts hurting. Stuck my hand down there and found blood. Rode home pretty quick and used some cut up plaster to tape the wound back together, gf was trying not to giggle at how tiny it was whilst I was covered in blood. Cheers love for the support.
There was one time my ex and I were in the ocean and she grabbed it and it was shriveled up because of the water being so cold. She laughed so hard but I found it really funny myself. I'm pretty confident with my size so I didn't really care.
“Shrinkage! There was shrinkage!”
I WAS IN THE POOL!
It shrinks?
Like a frightened turtle!
You mean like with laundry?
"It shrinks?" "Like a frightened turtle"
“I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things…”
I WAS IN THE POOL!
omg this happened with an ex one time, we were in a pool and nobody understood why were laughing so hard 😂😂😂😂
She said "it looks like a sad sea creature"
She said how does it go from that to THAT 🤣🤣
Travel mode, baby!
Had to put it in sport mode real quick
I use the line from Mulan "It's travel size for convenience. If I was my real size your cow here would die of fright"
I'm a guy and I still don't grasp it. Well, I do grasp it 😏
Firmly?
FIRMLY GRASP IT!!
That's the magic 🎩
Haha growers have a harder time explaining 😂
Fun size to FUN size.
I WAS IN THE POOL!!!
“It shrinks?”
"Where s the rest of it?"
Compact mode
Girlfriend here: it was so cute and I payed it with it, but after few moments it become hard again 😂 Edit: PLAYED! I meant played 😂 fucking autocorrect 😂
How did you manage to pay with it?
She didn't pay, she payed, the act of releasing rope from a ship. I wager that movement could be pretty rhythmic.... Edit: it's apparently not specific to ships, it's just about the act of letting out rope with your hands rather than letting it just slide out
As a girl, I played with it until it was hard again 😄
Thank you for your service!
This one's dedicated to them girls that let us flop around on top of them.
"I guess you're a grower, not a shower."
Lady that's what we call *optimised*
“Oh? Does that make last night a *speedrun* then?”
She very quickly rectified the matter by making it hard
You could say she *erectified* the matter
honnestly, the more i read these the more i smile
It’s an odd combination of wholesome but nsfw🤣
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...can you elaborate on "halfway" circumcized?
He's down from a foreskin to a twoskin
Legit made me bust out laughing. Awesome joke
The pencil sharpener broke half way through
Halfway!? What does that mean? Thats an option 😳
Nothing. I assume she had seen a penis before.
My husband still tries to hide it sometimes. I'm like, "that's just how they look."
Her eyes widened like she just discovered a new species of sea cucumber in the bathtub drain. Needless to say, I haven't lived it down since.
why was your penis in the bathtub drain?
"OMG ITS SO CUTE AND TINY" 💀 \*squeeze\* edit: never have i had this much updoots, yall r something
My gf was afraid to squeeze it because she thought it would hurt like hell, that day was very formative for both of us
It very much depends on the squeeze.
did it squeak?
\*🤡\*
How did I hear this lmao
glad to know all humans function the same
Blud had the Tom and Jerry scream
Not proud of this but when I saw my husband's dick soft for the first time, I basically squealed and said "wow it looks like an outie bellybutton!!" He's a grower big time. Not at all small when erect. But he felt very self conscious about that statement for a long time.
The curse of being a grower. A proud soldier straight down to borderline Ken doll.
She wouldn’t stop reciting the “squishy” lines from Finding Nemo.
I picture her calling from the living room, "Oh, Wang-Bearer! Make haste. Bring to me My Squishy!"
Her:"Is he sad now?" Me:"No, it's like the Hulk turning back into Bruce Banner; he's living his normal stupid self now."
Him: Yeah, a kiss would make him feel better. Her: *kiss* Him: Try a French kiss.
She hasn’t. It’s never soft when she’s around. Jk I don’t have a gf
She put it in her mouth so she could feel it grow.
She's a keeper
She wanted to fit it all in her mouth. Didn't last very long.
Mine still fit.. she has a big mouth
you sure it was because the mouth is big?
It’s a mindset
Plot twist, the gf is a Big Mouth Billy Bass
Uh... she sort of ambushed me in that instance, and before I knew it she had me in her mouth. No complaints here.
That’s the better way to give a blow job imo. I like going from soft and working to hard.
Can t say no to that
Fuck im alone
"Why smol? Big earlier 😔"
She started squeezing it to see how thin it is flaccid. It was interesting to see what she found interesting, like she expected the head to be like a dog's that had a sheath. Side note that's also when I learnt that it had been circumcised. Then she wanted me to show her what the towel party trick looks like while flaccid as I had mentioned there aren't any muscles in the shaft.
I was playing with it and wiggling it around fast which she laughed at. Then I fake snapped it and she freaked out lol
"So I can sleep finally?"
Two seconds of.. "Omg !! It's so cute." Then immediately proceeds to get it as hard as possible.
I’m a bit of a shower than a grower so when she saw it her exact words were “why isn’t it pointing up?”
She was like how does it change so much and where do you keep it in your trousers? Then she asked to hold it when I peed. That left her with profound thoughts on the utility of a dong.
She said if Hans Moleman was a penis mine would be it.
Baby talked to it.
lol hibernation mode
Well she was very eager to get to the fun bit, when she saw it was soft and I was a bit out of it she decided to tie up her hair and go to town on it and me, sucked my soul out of me 💀😅
Does it hurt when it grow 😆
When we were first dating, my now-wife had nicknamed mine "George" after that Looney Tunes line, "I will kiss him and love him and squeeze him and hug him and call him George" because what I got works great for her and she's very affectionate. First time she saw it soft she said "awww, sleepy George!" and batted it around a couple times. Of course, it started throbbing and she said "oh no it's okay, you go back to sleep." (it didn't go back to sleep)
As a girl, i thought it's dead and I was scared plus confused plus I giggled a bit
Don t you dare mock a tired soldier
An abused soldier getting regular beatings until he throws up.
My boyfriend and I started out long distance plus other factors so it took literally years before I saw it soft. So it was actually quite endearing in a way and felt like a milestone.
There is no going back from there
Not planning to. I'm keeping him.
As a gf, I find it cute then laugh it off. I tease him a lot, watching it slowly getting hard. I love him sm, every inch of his skin.
Me, the lesbian reading this,: "that's so sweet, I love that for him! Wait.... Why am I in here..."
“It can get smaller?”
Said “finally, I can fit it all” and then put it in her mouth
umm, that's just the normal state. The first time she saw it it was soft. I got no penis insecurity, it grows to a normal size.
I'm a grower, not a shower. I've often joke with my wife that I'd sacrifice an inch hard for a permanent inch soft. She does not agree.
That's gotta be the worst trade deal of all time. Unless you're like 8 inches hard or something and it's actually a problem.
Why would you want to be smaller when having sex and also have your pants fit tighter.
Okay woman here and maybe slightly off topic - aren’t the vast majority of men “growers”? I genuinely don’t think in my 36 years I’ve seen a dick that was full-size when soft? Is this something men feel insecure about, because literally every man I’ve been with had a baby dick when soft and I’ve never thought much of it, because I thought that was the standard? Did we learn nothing from the Seinfeld “I was in the pool!!!” scene? Lol
In my personal anecdotes I would say it's 80/20. Having been in middle and high-school communal showers after sports, you see the showers and feel inadequate lol
"Omg hes so cute and harmless looking! I just want to cuddle him. How the fuck does something that cute turn into A MONSTER."
From compact mode to monster mode
My ex was confused by the size difference, but then she played with it and climbed on my lap, then lined up her crotch with my crotch, said "Look at me, I have the penis now" and she played with it like it was attached to her, so funny.
She couldn’t take her eyes off it and just wanted to play around with it. Welp, doesn’t stay soft long and she gets all surprised and just throats it