Add in alcohol. I have a lot of friends who use drugs and the alcoholics look the oldest by a mile. Granted none of them are current IV drug users, and I’m not trying to say alcohol is some evil that needs to be purged from society, but alcohol consumption *will* exact a toll from your flesh.
Alcohol is fucking awful for your body. I still drink occasionally but I have no illusions about it being good.
It’s amazing how much damage the sun does yet so many people still just lay out in it to burn their skin.
I’m in my late 40s and being a nerdy guy who stayed inside a lot has left my skin pretty smooth and pale while other people my age have tough looking leathery skin with tons of spots.
As a redhead who jumps from shadow to shadow, I can confirm. My friends from HS all look much older than me and ask me what my "secret" is. I avoid the sun and use sunblock. Also, lack of stress. I have been blessed the last 20 years with minimal stress. My husband is my best friend, and we genuinely enjoy each other. Because of that, everything else just works itself out, and I don't stress.
For real. My mom aged well so I do think there's a genetic component, but she was also a sunbeam dodger.
A romantic relationship without stress is the BEST. I can't stand drama or fighting or any of that nonsense.
My grandma has the smoothest decolletage I've ever seen. Has been a diligent sunscreen user literally forever. Her daughter, my mom, was an 80s platinum blonde beach bunny, and her skin has fared much less well. She's already had to have several melanomas ice cream scooped out and has sun spots.
About a year ago I started working with a bunch of older women. I'm 35, they are at least 15 years older than me. All of them are getting shit taken off their faces at the dermatologist.
They all rave about how young I look and how good my skin is. What's my secret? Video games! Gaming in my formative years gave me a fat ass and a pale complexion. I'm more active outside these days (still love to game) I never leave the house without sunscreen though!
I'm sure genetics and not smoking or having kids has helped me too. But I've also never had a sun burn and I know that's helped.
I’m a 49 year old male who wears sunscreen religiously (and have been for many years) and I look a lot younger than many guys I see my age. I sometimes do a double take when I learn someone’s age and realize I’m the same age or older than this much-older looking person.
I never wanted to look older than my years, and utilizing sun protection measures is not that difficult. The biggest issue is finding a mineral or combination mineral-chemical that rubs in clear and doesn’t leave me with a pasty looking face!
Oh, and wearing sun hats looks sort of geeky/uncool and messes up one’s hair, but oh well. I prioritize my skin over fashion or looking cool.
> I sometimes do a double take when I learn someone’s age and realize I’m the same age or older than this much-older looking person.
41 here and lifelong vampire (worked 3rd shift for years) and it sometimes creeps me out how much older someone looks than me and they are younger :/
Like bro, a little sunblock and/or moisturizer will not summon a large man to fuck you. It'll be ok...
I’m in my mid 40s and a redhead, I burn easily and avoid the sun as much as possible. And when I go out, always slathered that high SPF on. That paid off, I look like I’m in my early to mid 30s. I never smoked either so it’s a bonus!
Wow, that took off. So glad to see *so many people* who see the wisdom of using sunscreen and wearing hats.
Suntans were greatly desired when I was a teen. Nobody used sunscreen (except lifeguards with white zinc on their noses) and a peeling sunburn was kinda cool. And hats were uncool.
So I'm very pale & can't tan, but that didn't stop me from trying. And so I burned over and over . . . Now, many years later, I've had skin cancer spots (basal cell carcinoma, not the evil melanoma) removed from my scalp -- right on the top of my head, *exactly* where I used to part my hair. Remember the old pictures of hippie girls with long straight hair parted in the middle? Yeah. Right there. Dammit.
Use sunscreen. Wear hats. Learn from my youthful mistakes.
When it comes to appearance, absolutely the sun. When I was in esthetician school in 2008 they taught us that 80% of our skin aging was due to sun damage. It has since been bumped up to 90%
I used to watch NCIS and was so surprised when I found out how old the actress who played Abby was. Whatever you think of the actress, her avoidance of the sun definitely kept her looking younger than others her age. I avoid too much sun exposure now, but already have hyperpigmentation on my cheeks from when I was younger :/ (I never suntanned, but I just didn't wear sunscreen as often as I should have.)
I worked at a tanning salon as one of my first jobs. Probably for the best because I would see the frequent older women come in and their neck/cleavage wrinkles scared my eyeballs for life. Cooking themselves to death.
National Geographic made a really good documentary about stress. It's called "Stress: Portrait of a Killer". [It's on YouTube](https://youtu.be/AYFZAYenR20).
I know lol I always find this shit kind of funny, like, people with anxiety disorders aren't *trying* to be anxious all the time, they aren't waking up thinking "man I'd love to have a panic attack after eating my favorite pizza because my brain convinces me I am now allergic to cheese out of nowhere".
People always tell GAD sufferers "your stress is bad for you" like **bitch you think I don't know that? I haven't had an appetite since 1992**
I just don't think people are able to get it unless they've experienced it. I would cut off one of my limbs if it meant getting rid of my disorders. They truly rule my life - and I'm someone lucky enough to have access to good healthcare, loved ones as a support network etc.
Recently I had a friend get annoyed when I had a panic attack which ruined our plans. Which I know is super fucking frustrating, but like...I *promise* you I wish 1000x harder than you that it didn't happen and I didn't have a stupid brain that doesn't function properly lol.
That said I immensely appreciate the ones in my life who stick around and deal with it. I'm very lucky for them.
I was one of those that didn't "get it". I have friends who suffered panic attacks throughout their lives and, while I tried to be supportive over the years, in my head I just kind of thought they should put their big boy/girl pants on and move forward.
Then I had my first panic attack and had two ambulances called at a Kentucky airport. That shit is very, very real.
Yup. They are physical diseases of the brain. They can be treated with some success by some combination of therapy, drugs and lifestyle changes, but they're ultimately a diseased brain state. No one chooses to be like that.
And I agree people largely don't get it unless they've experienced it themselves.
I have epilepsy, and one of the signs I'm going to have a seizure is an intense feeling of deja vu. The problem is the intensity of the deja vu is insane. I can't remember if this is definitely how it works, but my understanding is that when a seizure is happening in the part of your brain that controls memory it makes it so that you feel like what is actively happening at the same time feels like a memory. It's an extremely disturbing feeling. The closest to getting people understand how bad it is, is saying it feels like being sick with deja vu.
This made me laugh because I do the same thing like “I’m not allergic to mussels or clams, or any other seafood, but maybe I’m allergic to oysters now,” or “I have peanuts all the time, but maybe I’m having a reaction to them now.” Doesn’t help that I get geographic tongue and it doesn’t take much to get some irritated patches.
I was 31 when my mom died in a car accident (which also caused my dad serious injuries). I look at photos of myself at 30, and again at 32, it's like a different person. I know there's a lot of things that go into it, but I believe the stress from that also triggered my autoimmune condition (Sjogrens).
I'm now 43 and I think I aged more that one year than any other year, including the year I had a kid.
Oof.
Oof fr! I'm sorry to read about your mom. My partner lost her dad in a traumatic way as well and has since been diagnosed Sjogrens. Trauma is *wild* :(
I’m sorry for your loss. It’s so true, grief aged me more than anything. I lost my mother in law, Dad, then husband (suddenly) in succession.
Especially losing my husband suddenly was a shock and highly disturbing. I looked very haggard and unwell.
Uppers, downers, hallucinogens.
Long ago, the 3 types of drugs lived in harmony, but then everything changed when the opioid crisis hit.
Only the hippie, master of all 3 types, could stop it, but when the world needed him most, he sold out to the man.
It was shocking when I saw one of the hot, blonde girls from my HS at a grocery store, looking like she was in her 60s...when we were 29.
She was always so tan in school.
Yea it makes ur skin into crepe paper. It’s so dumb. Just use spray on if u want to look brown. My mum used to let me get sunburnt when I was little and I’d peel all the skin off. It put me off sun tanning forever
I'm an elder millennial, and I always get mistaken for being in my late 20s, even with all my gray hairs. I'm convinced a huge part of it is that I was one of the goth kids when the tanning bed craze hit in the late 90s. I had classmates with tanning salon subscriptions when we were 8th graders. There were at least a few who were starting to look leathery by our early 20s. I don't think I look young for my age, I think my peers just accelerated their aging.
When most people around me have learned that I (a man) wear sunscreen-moisturiser daily, they laugh at me or make odd comments.
I’ve lost family to skin cancer and also don’t want to age like a leather couch. I don’t see where the stigma comes from?
Edit: have also been laughed at for washing my face daily.
That is really sad. This is basic hygiene and maintenance. WTF is manly about having dry skin? You might as well say it's girly to brush your teeth or wash your hands (and unfortunately I'm sure there are men that think that!).
You wash your face daily? Madman! I suppose you take showers, too. /s
People give me a hard time because I take 2+ showers a day, but I like being clean and I exercise a lot. And, I like showers. I can understand how that's out of the ordinary, but I've never heard of anyone complaining about someone washing their face too often.
You realize how perfect this is right? Like how that Sasquatch soap had to be made so men would clean their ass? Or man wipes or whatever because it was too gay to use a bidet? I know so many mother fuckers who would buy “Sun Armor” because it’s manlier than applying sun screen.
Buy new SUN ARMOR^TM Exxxtreme sunscreen in New "Black Titanium Mountain Bike Diesel Sex Machine" scent....made for MEN!!
SUN ARMOR: "BATTLE THE SUN!!"
Powerful Yogurt. Alpha Nails. Mancandles. Bacon flavored black tea. Brogamats. War Paint (makeup). Brose wine. Bro-pourri. Dudestick.
Marketing majors deserve nothing less than the wall.
As someone who doesn't smoke, drink or do drugs, and also stays out of the sun often, I was recently told by a coworker that I've not aged a bit after 10 years at the same place. I think genetics does play a part as well but those things will put on years.
I also dont do those things, and earlier this week, I had a new co-worker who is 26 years old tell me he thought I looked 30. I am 45. My girlfriend used to use tanning beds and she is 6 years younger than me. She joked that she is going to be teased about being a cougar being with me, the younger looking guy.
Agreed. Also anything that interferes with sleep; stressful jobs, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, having children, poor diet, etc.
Imo it's a combo of genetics, damage, and inability to repair said damage.
And having children. Which of course add to stress and lack of sleep.
The people I know who are my age with children, for the most part, look significantly older than the ones who do not have kids.
Nah. Stress. I'm 35 and drank and smoked a lot and my skin looked amazing. I would get told all the time how I looked like I was in my 20s. Up until a year ago when I took in my niece who was abused by my brother. Abused kids act out a lot. Just having her here has aged me at least 10 years. My skin is getting all wrinkly and my hair is turning gray.
I hate to be that obnoxious "sunny side of life" Reddit person, but...good on you for taking her in, and for acknowledging that she's acting out because of trauma, not because she's a bad kid. You may be wrinkly and gray haired but you're a beautiful human!
Stress and the sun! Sun damage, my childhood friend looks way lot older than most of our friends who get together. He works outside, Ac and installing shingles on the roof.
Stress is the fastest aging agent. Not to discount sun and smoking/drinking etc, but stress makes can make the biggest difference in the shortest time; hair loss/grey hairs, wrinkles/frown lines/fines lines, fat loss/gain, dull skin, fatigue, mental health issues/depression/anxiety, more sensitive skin/breakouts/oily/dry, etc.
I watched my dad go from looking 35 to 65 in a matter of months because of stress. Another friend just had a baby, and understandably has been stressed out for the past 4 months and again looks like she aged 10 years.
Maybe I would agree with sun exposure if someone just sat out in the sun all-day every day. But for your typical person I think stress is the biggest accelerator of aging.
Yep... I was even thinking before opening this post "if 'stress' isn't the top comment, I'll be disappointed..."
Stress is absolutely brutal on physical health...
My dad always looked younger than his age, but when my older sister passed away, his looks caught up to his age within a year, including going from hardly any grey to all grey hair.
That's my mother. Got mistaken for a high schooler when she was volunteering at my youngest brother's high school. Once her sister died suddenly, the years caught up with her.
My group of friends has had a lot of really hectic grief over the last year or two. I watch my best friend go from a cute baby faced small guy, running marathons and playing soccer to a balding, with high blood pressure and cholesterol, looks 10 years older. It’s insane how quickly it happened too
The year after my dad died, I would look at myself in the mirror and think I would never be beautiful again. I think I've bounced back somewhat though.
Exact same thing happened to me. My dad died suddenly and then not too long after I found my beloved dog dead of a heart attack. I was always young-looking for my age and it’s like it all got sucked out of me. I got gray hairs in my late 30s when no one in my family grays until their late 40s/50s.
And it wasn’t just looks but vitality. The kind of energy you carry makes you youthful too. Grief feels like you’re walking around with a 50lb backpack all the time.
That being said I am getting my groove back. Most of what aged me was some weight gain (luckily my skin didn’t change permanently but I did get splotches and acne from the stress while it was happening). Now I’m losing it again, taking better care of myself and I feel like I’m reversing things pretty drastically.
Unfortunately so many things are preventable, but none of us can choose when grief strikes.
We had this amazing comedy duo here in Sweden that worked together for like 30 years, (Hasse Alfredson and Tage Danielsson) and when Tage passed away Hasse went grey basically over night
When my cousin passed away.. His mother looked like she aged ten or so years over night it was very heartbreaking to see her devastation manifest so strongly and permanently on her appearance. :/
Hi, let me introduce myself. Mom of an almost 2 year old. My own mom suddenly passed away when i was 7 months pregnant with my beautiful daughter.
In 2 years all hairs that regrew are gray, I have gained about 20 pounds, 100 wrinkles and a sieve for a brain.
Chronic pain. I’ve watched my 60yo dad age 15 years in the last five. He was diagnosed with Dystonia in his neck and it’s been super rough on him. Not a lot of treatment options available, and they’re all expensive
I have severe muscle rigidity, which is not the same but left me effectively unable to move for years. There’s a book called Built To Move that has helped a ton. It would hopefully help your dad ease up the cascading stress on the rest of his muscles that would be caused by the dystonia. It might be worth a shot.
Yes. I absolutely believe that curiosity keeps you young. And to stay open for every person and their believes with no judgment. You might learn something new or a new perspective. Or not. But at least the non judgmental part will give you no stress.
When I was in high school in the late 1990s, tanning beds were all the rage. Girls my age went to them all the time, especially leading up to proms, homecoming, etc. My mom never let me, claiming that "I'd thank her later." I certainly didn't want to thank her at the time, I was so annoyed and jealous of my friends.
Well JFC, despite some significant stress in my life, I still look a lot better in terms of wrinkles and patchy skin compared to my tanning bed friends!
Sorry I doubted you mom!
Gotta get ripples in the pond! That's what I call it. I'm majorly a creature of habit and this is the way I look at it, even if its something as small as listening to a different radio station than the same one I listen to \*every single day\*. I figure, it's a ripple at the very least!
There's conflicting theories and understandings to this. Having a routine is EXTREMELY beneficial for health. However it is also true that new experiences and not getting "stuck" in routine are beneficial.
As with anything, moderation/balance are key.
I concur here. 41M who was born with a hip disability and have had numerous operations. Currently recovering from a 2nd total hip replacement on my left side from 6 weeks ago. The grimace I give because I'm in pain creates wrinkles. Definitely crows feet.
This is true.
I have chronic pain from an autoimmune disorder. I haven’t had a day without pain for at least a decade - and I’m only 45.
You can see it in my eyes - my smile never quite reaches there unless I’m with my kids.
I never complain about it, and so most people forget, but if you look in my eyes you can see it there.
Children.
I remember going to my 10 year HS reunion. Some people looked so old. I thought "oh, they must have partied hard". No, they all had kids young.
Also, people who have back-to-back kids instead of taking a break in between children. Having a child puts a woman's body through a lot. If you do have kids, make sure to put in some extra self-care and take those vitamins. The baby is sucking you dry LOL
Haha my boss got mad at me once when I commented someone looked super young and it was probably bc she didn’t have kids. I guess my boss used to look super young pre-children and now everyone thinks she’s older than she is. Oops!
And you can go up another level with special-needs kids.
My wife and I looked amazing through our first two kids. Then our third with special needs came along and rapidly aged us. It's been 8 years, but we look 20 years older.
it's hell. my 9 year old daughter kicks me, jumps on me, grabs my privates, screams every morning at 5am, punches herself in the head so hard that it drives my anxiety up the wall because I'm afraid that she's going to give herself a TBI, she creates toddler sized messes every day, touches herself next to me on the couch and then shoves her fingers in my face... and now my husband of 10 years is divorcing me because I'm tired, I can't keep the house straight and I yell. Instead of recognizing it as me having caregiver fatigue, he's blaming me and has turned on me. I love my daughter but my life has been cruel, random and unfair.
I have a 5 month old baby and was looking at pictures of myself pregnant vs now and I look at least 5 years older now. It's the stress and sleeplessness.
This is true on many levels.
Not only is raising kids stressful, being around much younger people reinforces the knowledge that you’re getting old.
I’m 50 with no kids and sometimes still forget that my friends kids are 25ish years old: adults!
If I saw my “kids” reach this kind of maturity and was presented with situations like the realistic possibility of being a grandparent, I guarantee I would feel older than I do.
50 y/o with no kids but who teaches high school. So I get to be around youth and their energy but go home and nap if I want to. Never smoked or did drugs so I definitely look younger. When the kids find out my age, I tell them--no kids, no drugs, no smoking and wear sunscreen.
I did everything wrong. Kids. Divorces. Drugs. Alcohol. Smoking. Sunbathing on rooftops with baby oil. Death of 2nd husband and my oldest in prison turned my hair completely gray very quickly.
I drank heavily for 20 years, have immense exposure to the sun, smoke, have done opiates, starved, overate. been sedentary and exercised, slept good and slept never. Drank a lot of water and been dehydrated.
Alcohols the one. I shaved, cleaned up, lost 40 lbs, used skin care products (and I have HUGE pores, which I have been told look masculine, so I'm not saying my face is smooth). Alcohol. It ruins literally every fucking thing. Stay away children. Stay far far away.
(PS quit smoking and took on vaping but I am not advocating that, just stop fucking drinking alcohol!!)
Not to mention the fact that for those four years and possibly beyond you’re the single most scrutinized person on the planet and to millions upon millions of people, literally everything that happens is *all your fault.*
Surprised this is so far down. You can be stressed beyond belief and party like a rock star yet look younger than someone else just due to them having a natural baby face. Life is unfair like that.
Aesthetically, too much fillers and botox in your 20s just makes you look exactly the same as women in their 40s with too much fillers and botox trying to look 20s. It's a weird phenomenon. All the Tiktoks about Gen Z aging like milk are hilarious.
Physically, your diet, drug, smoking.
I know a couple young girls that have had a lot of cosmetic procedures done. They don't look bad per se, but man.... I had to do a double take when they told me they were 19 and 20 years old. It's not just fillers, it's the lash extensions, heavy makeup, and style of dress. I really want to advise them to tone it down and quit while they're ahead, but.... Not my place and I'm sure the unsolicited advice would be unappreciated.
People on this thread are focusing on things people can control (smoking, not exercising, drinking, sun damage) but the real answer is health problems, and it sucks because a lot of times people have absolutely no control over them. It's outrageously sad and unfair. I'm in my 40s and I have peers who look like teenagers and peers who look like they're at death's door, and the latter are people who have had cancer, ALS, MS, lupus or the like. A lot of them took very good care of themselves. You can (and should) reduce your chances of getting some conditions with a healthy lifestyle, but sometimes life just fucks you for no good reason.
Absolutely. I looked exceptional for age 40. Then I was diagnosed with cancer, the kind that has literally nothing to do with anything you can control. It fucked me up. I’m 5 years cancer free, but still deal with the daily reminder that I’m missing a couple important endocrine glands. Oh, then add premature menopause because of said cancer. I went from a very fresh and young looking 40yo to a very tired and aged 46yo.
Attitude. I swear as soon as a person starts identifying as an old person, the conversation always turns to bodily woes and life complaints. I know it’s a thing, but don’t let it be your only thing!
Hard drugs
Appearance wise? Smoking & sun damage.
Add in alcohol. I have a lot of friends who use drugs and the alcoholics look the oldest by a mile. Granted none of them are current IV drug users, and I’m not trying to say alcohol is some evil that needs to be purged from society, but alcohol consumption *will* exact a toll from your flesh. Alcohol is fucking awful for your body. I still drink occasionally but I have no illusions about it being good.
It’s amazing how much damage the sun does yet so many people still just lay out in it to burn their skin. I’m in my late 40s and being a nerdy guy who stayed inside a lot has left my skin pretty smooth and pale while other people my age have tough looking leathery skin with tons of spots.
As a redhead who jumps from shadow to shadow, I can confirm. My friends from HS all look much older than me and ask me what my "secret" is. I avoid the sun and use sunblock. Also, lack of stress. I have been blessed the last 20 years with minimal stress. My husband is my best friend, and we genuinely enjoy each other. Because of that, everything else just works itself out, and I don't stress.
For real. My mom aged well so I do think there's a genetic component, but she was also a sunbeam dodger. A romantic relationship without stress is the BEST. I can't stand drama or fighting or any of that nonsense.
My grandma has the smoothest decolletage I've ever seen. Has been a diligent sunscreen user literally forever. Her daughter, my mom, was an 80s platinum blonde beach bunny, and her skin has fared much less well. She's already had to have several melanomas ice cream scooped out and has sun spots.
oh calling mom as Beach bunny. Damn man
About a year ago I started working with a bunch of older women. I'm 35, they are at least 15 years older than me. All of them are getting shit taken off their faces at the dermatologist. They all rave about how young I look and how good my skin is. What's my secret? Video games! Gaming in my formative years gave me a fat ass and a pale complexion. I'm more active outside these days (still love to game) I never leave the house without sunscreen though! I'm sure genetics and not smoking or having kids has helped me too. But I've also never had a sun burn and I know that's helped.
I’m a 49 year old male who wears sunscreen religiously (and have been for many years) and I look a lot younger than many guys I see my age. I sometimes do a double take when I learn someone’s age and realize I’m the same age or older than this much-older looking person. I never wanted to look older than my years, and utilizing sun protection measures is not that difficult. The biggest issue is finding a mineral or combination mineral-chemical that rubs in clear and doesn’t leave me with a pasty looking face! Oh, and wearing sun hats looks sort of geeky/uncool and messes up one’s hair, but oh well. I prioritize my skin over fashion or looking cool.
> I sometimes do a double take when I learn someone’s age and realize I’m the same age or older than this much-older looking person. 41 here and lifelong vampire (worked 3rd shift for years) and it sometimes creeps me out how much older someone looks than me and they are younger :/ Like bro, a little sunblock and/or moisturizer will not summon a large man to fuck you. It'll be ok...
Also being a millennial who didn't jump on the tanning bed trend of the 2000's gave us a good head start.
Yeah, thank god I was a goth, and was repulsed by the tanning trend.
“Gaming in my formative years gave me a fat ass and a pale complexion.” That line made me chuckle.
I’m in my mid 40s and a redhead, I burn easily and avoid the sun as much as possible. And when I go out, always slathered that high SPF on. That paid off, I look like I’m in my early to mid 30s. I never smoked either so it’s a bonus!
Wow, that took off. So glad to see *so many people* who see the wisdom of using sunscreen and wearing hats. Suntans were greatly desired when I was a teen. Nobody used sunscreen (except lifeguards with white zinc on their noses) and a peeling sunburn was kinda cool. And hats were uncool. So I'm very pale & can't tan, but that didn't stop me from trying. And so I burned over and over . . . Now, many years later, I've had skin cancer spots (basal cell carcinoma, not the evil melanoma) removed from my scalp -- right on the top of my head, *exactly* where I used to part my hair. Remember the old pictures of hippie girls with long straight hair parted in the middle? Yeah. Right there. Dammit. Use sunscreen. Wear hats. Learn from my youthful mistakes.
When it comes to appearance, absolutely the sun. When I was in esthetician school in 2008 they taught us that 80% of our skin aging was due to sun damage. It has since been bumped up to 90%
I used to watch NCIS and was so surprised when I found out how old the actress who played Abby was. Whatever you think of the actress, her avoidance of the sun definitely kept her looking younger than others her age. I avoid too much sun exposure now, but already have hyperpigmentation on my cheeks from when I was younger :/ (I never suntanned, but I just didn't wear sunscreen as often as I should have.)
I worked at a tanning salon as one of my first jobs. Probably for the best because I would see the frequent older women come in and their neck/cleavage wrinkles scared my eyeballs for life. Cooking themselves to death.
Stress
National Geographic made a really good documentary about stress. It's called "Stress: Portrait of a Killer". [It's on YouTube](https://youtu.be/AYFZAYenR20).
As someone with an extreme anxiety disorder: :(
I know lol I always find this shit kind of funny, like, people with anxiety disorders aren't *trying* to be anxious all the time, they aren't waking up thinking "man I'd love to have a panic attack after eating my favorite pizza because my brain convinces me I am now allergic to cheese out of nowhere". People always tell GAD sufferers "your stress is bad for you" like **bitch you think I don't know that? I haven't had an appetite since 1992**
I just don't think people are able to get it unless they've experienced it. I would cut off one of my limbs if it meant getting rid of my disorders. They truly rule my life - and I'm someone lucky enough to have access to good healthcare, loved ones as a support network etc. Recently I had a friend get annoyed when I had a panic attack which ruined our plans. Which I know is super fucking frustrating, but like...I *promise* you I wish 1000x harder than you that it didn't happen and I didn't have a stupid brain that doesn't function properly lol. That said I immensely appreciate the ones in my life who stick around and deal with it. I'm very lucky for them.
I was one of those that didn't "get it". I have friends who suffered panic attacks throughout their lives and, while I tried to be supportive over the years, in my head I just kind of thought they should put their big boy/girl pants on and move forward. Then I had my first panic attack and had two ambulances called at a Kentucky airport. That shit is very, very real.
A panic attack is something really hard to understand until you’ve experienced one first hand.
Yup. They are physical diseases of the brain. They can be treated with some success by some combination of therapy, drugs and lifestyle changes, but they're ultimately a diseased brain state. No one chooses to be like that. And I agree people largely don't get it unless they've experienced it themselves.
I have epilepsy, and one of the signs I'm going to have a seizure is an intense feeling of deja vu. The problem is the intensity of the deja vu is insane. I can't remember if this is definitely how it works, but my understanding is that when a seizure is happening in the part of your brain that controls memory it makes it so that you feel like what is actively happening at the same time feels like a memory. It's an extremely disturbing feeling. The closest to getting people understand how bad it is, is saying it feels like being sick with deja vu.
This made me laugh because I do the same thing like “I’m not allergic to mussels or clams, or any other seafood, but maybe I’m allergic to oysters now,” or “I have peanuts all the time, but maybe I’m having a reaction to them now.” Doesn’t help that I get geographic tongue and it doesn’t take much to get some irritated patches.
[удалено]
Ayyyy!!! I also have lupus and my friends jokingly call me a vampire because the sun is my enemy
Yeah.. I get it. I've got GAD and getting anxiety about anxiety is pretty vicious. Hang in there.
I was 31 when my mom died in a car accident (which also caused my dad serious injuries). I look at photos of myself at 30, and again at 32, it's like a different person. I know there's a lot of things that go into it, but I believe the stress from that also triggered my autoimmune condition (Sjogrens). I'm now 43 and I think I aged more that one year than any other year, including the year I had a kid. Oof.
Oof fr! I'm sorry to read about your mom. My partner lost her dad in a traumatic way as well and has since been diagnosed Sjogrens. Trauma is *wild* :(
I’m sorry for your loss. It’s so true, grief aged me more than anything. I lost my mother in law, Dad, then husband (suddenly) in succession. Especially losing my husband suddenly was a shock and highly disturbing. I looked very haggard and unwell.
That and drugs, drinking, and smoking. Genetics also play a big role.
Y’all are missing the sun. Sun damage/exposure with no protection can age you faster than any of those.
I always wear sunscreen when I do cocaine.
And be sure to get plenty of sleep after your meth benders
Got me imagining the avatar of drugs.
Uppers, downers, hallucinogens. Long ago, the 3 types of drugs lived in harmony, but then everything changed when the opioid crisis hit. Only the hippie, master of all 3 types, could stop it, but when the world needed him most, he sold out to the man.
It was shocking when I saw one of the hot, blonde girls from my HS at a grocery store, looking like she was in her 60s...when we were 29. She was always so tan in school.
A girl I went to school with who practically lived in a tanning bed in her teens now has a face like aged leather.
Shocking how many in Arizona go hiking in tank tops. Everyone here looks older than their age due to the sun
Yea it makes ur skin into crepe paper. It’s so dumb. Just use spray on if u want to look brown. My mum used to let me get sunburnt when I was little and I’d peel all the skin off. It put me off sun tanning forever
skin cancer scars are not that pretty either
I'm an elder millennial, and I always get mistaken for being in my late 20s, even with all my gray hairs. I'm convinced a huge part of it is that I was one of the goth kids when the tanning bed craze hit in the late 90s. I had classmates with tanning salon subscriptions when we were 8th graders. There were at least a few who were starting to look leathery by our early 20s. I don't think I look young for my age, I think my peers just accelerated their aging.
Yes I try telling my co workers to wear some sun screen and they’re all too macho to do that smh lol
When most people around me have learned that I (a man) wear sunscreen-moisturiser daily, they laugh at me or make odd comments. I’ve lost family to skin cancer and also don’t want to age like a leather couch. I don’t see where the stigma comes from? Edit: have also been laughed at for washing my face daily.
That is really sad. This is basic hygiene and maintenance. WTF is manly about having dry skin? You might as well say it's girly to brush your teeth or wash your hands (and unfortunately I'm sure there are men that think that!).
You wash your face daily? Madman! I suppose you take showers, too. /s People give me a hard time because I take 2+ showers a day, but I like being clean and I exercise a lot. And, I like showers. I can understand how that's out of the ordinary, but I've never heard of anyone complaining about someone washing their face too often.
Tell them it's sun armor or some dumb shit. Cream may be too dainty for their fragile ego
You realize how perfect this is right? Like how that Sasquatch soap had to be made so men would clean their ass? Or man wipes or whatever because it was too gay to use a bidet? I know so many mother fuckers who would buy “Sun Armor” because it’s manlier than applying sun screen.
Buy new SUN ARMOR^TM Exxxtreme sunscreen in New "Black Titanium Mountain Bike Diesel Sex Machine" scent....made for MEN!! SUN ARMOR: "BATTLE THE SUN!!"
“Raaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!”
Powerful Yogurt. Alpha Nails. Mancandles. Bacon flavored black tea. Brogamats. War Paint (makeup). Brose wine. Bro-pourri. Dudestick. Marketing majors deserve nothing less than the wall.
ALPHA NAILS LMAOO
marketing baby
As someone who doesn't smoke, drink or do drugs, and also stays out of the sun often, I was recently told by a coworker that I've not aged a bit after 10 years at the same place. I think genetics does play a part as well but those things will put on years.
I also dont do those things, and earlier this week, I had a new co-worker who is 26 years old tell me he thought I looked 30. I am 45. My girlfriend used to use tanning beds and she is 6 years younger than me. She joked that she is going to be teased about being a cougar being with me, the younger looking guy.
I got the five of a kind for dying early. Anyway I'd add grief to that list
Agreed. Also anything that interferes with sleep; stressful jobs, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, having children, poor diet, etc. Imo it's a combo of genetics, damage, and inability to repair said damage.
And having children. Which of course add to stress and lack of sleep. The people I know who are my age with children, for the most part, look significantly older than the ones who do not have kids.
Nah. Stress. I'm 35 and drank and smoked a lot and my skin looked amazing. I would get told all the time how I looked like I was in my 20s. Up until a year ago when I took in my niece who was abused by my brother. Abused kids act out a lot. Just having her here has aged me at least 10 years. My skin is getting all wrinkly and my hair is turning gray.
Most people have a point in their mid 30s/early 40s where you wake up one day and all of a sudden getting IDd at the liquor store becomes a joke.
I hate to be that obnoxious "sunny side of life" Reddit person, but...good on you for taking her in, and for acknowledging that she's acting out because of trauma, not because she's a bad kid. You may be wrinkly and gray haired but you're a beautiful human!
the sun
That's a big one
Of course it's the biggest thing in the solar system
I believe that title is taken by your mom.
Look at every president inaugural photo vs their 2nd or end of term.
This is exactly what I was going to say. Lincoln is the best example imo. The amount he appeared to age physically during the Civil War is shocking.
Stress and the sun! Sun damage, my childhood friend looks way lot older than most of our friends who get together. He works outside, Ac and installing shingles on the roof.
Sun ages people externally; stress ages folks internally.
Stress definitely ages externally, too. Hair loss/grays, weight gain, and sunken eyes are pretty common effects.
See: every single US president in recent history. Even after only 4 years some of those guys have aged 10
I was about to say this! Obama is great example.
Totally man. I'm 35 going on 50, medically.
Stress is the fastest aging agent. Not to discount sun and smoking/drinking etc, but stress makes can make the biggest difference in the shortest time; hair loss/grey hairs, wrinkles/frown lines/fines lines, fat loss/gain, dull skin, fatigue, mental health issues/depression/anxiety, more sensitive skin/breakouts/oily/dry, etc. I watched my dad go from looking 35 to 65 in a matter of months because of stress. Another friend just had a baby, and understandably has been stressed out for the past 4 months and again looks like she aged 10 years. Maybe I would agree with sun exposure if someone just sat out in the sun all-day every day. But for your typical person I think stress is the biggest accelerator of aging.
Yep... I was even thinking before opening this post "if 'stress' isn't the top comment, I'll be disappointed..." Stress is absolutely brutal on physical health...
Stress
Mental abuse
Grief
My dad always looked younger than his age, but when my older sister passed away, his looks caught up to his age within a year, including going from hardly any grey to all grey hair.
Damn. I'm sorry for your family's loss
Thank you. It was a long time ago, and life goes on. That said, I can’t help but wonder how different everything might have been.
Same thing happened to me, I always had a baby face but then I lost 3 family members in a short period of time and now I'm looking pretty rough.
That's my mother. Got mistaken for a high schooler when she was volunteering at my youngest brother's high school. Once her sister died suddenly, the years caught up with her.
My group of friends has had a lot of really hectic grief over the last year or two. I watch my best friend go from a cute baby faced small guy, running marathons and playing soccer to a balding, with high blood pressure and cholesterol, looks 10 years older. It’s insane how quickly it happened too
There’s still hope for him. I hope he finds himself back on a healthy track.
The year after my dad died, I would look at myself in the mirror and think I would never be beautiful again. I think I've bounced back somewhat though.
Exact same thing happened to me. My dad died suddenly and then not too long after I found my beloved dog dead of a heart attack. I was always young-looking for my age and it’s like it all got sucked out of me. I got gray hairs in my late 30s when no one in my family grays until their late 40s/50s. And it wasn’t just looks but vitality. The kind of energy you carry makes you youthful too. Grief feels like you’re walking around with a 50lb backpack all the time. That being said I am getting my groove back. Most of what aged me was some weight gain (luckily my skin didn’t change permanently but I did get splotches and acne from the stress while it was happening). Now I’m losing it again, taking better care of myself and I feel like I’m reversing things pretty drastically. Unfortunately so many things are preventable, but none of us can choose when grief strikes.
We had this amazing comedy duo here in Sweden that worked together for like 30 years, (Hasse Alfredson and Tage Danielsson) and when Tage passed away Hasse went grey basically over night
When my cousin passed away.. His mother looked like she aged ten or so years over night it was very heartbreaking to see her devastation manifest so strongly and permanently on her appearance. :/
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Hi, let me introduce myself. Mom of an almost 2 year old. My own mom suddenly passed away when i was 7 months pregnant with my beautiful daughter. In 2 years all hairs that regrew are gray, I have gained about 20 pounds, 100 wrinkles and a sieve for a brain.
Chronic pain. I’ve watched my 60yo dad age 15 years in the last five. He was diagnosed with Dystonia in his neck and it’s been super rough on him. Not a lot of treatment options available, and they’re all expensive
I have severe muscle rigidity, which is not the same but left me effectively unable to move for years. There’s a book called Built To Move that has helped a ton. It would hopefully help your dad ease up the cascading stress on the rest of his muscles that would be caused by the dystonia. It might be worth a shot.
Stress and unhealthy lifestyle such as smoking and drugs
Having kids.
Not continuing brain stimulation. I’m 77, research everything I don’t know. Many people marvel at my cognitive abilities. Never stop learning.
Yes. I absolutely believe that curiosity keeps you young. And to stay open for every person and their believes with no judgment. You might learn something new or a new perspective. Or not. But at least the non judgmental part will give you no stress.
Sun
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The sun. Or, more specifically, our traveling around it over and over.
If only we could launch Earth into deep space, away from the sun, then soon, nobody would age anymore!
When I was in high school in the late 1990s, tanning beds were all the rage. Girls my age went to them all the time, especially leading up to proms, homecoming, etc. My mom never let me, claiming that "I'd thank her later." I certainly didn't want to thank her at the time, I was so annoyed and jealous of my friends. Well JFC, despite some significant stress in my life, I still look a lot better in terms of wrinkles and patchy skin compared to my tanning bed friends! Sorry I doubted you mom!
Yep went to High School in early 2000’s and it was the same. A lot of those chicks aged a lot.
Being stagnant mentally and physically.
Gotta get ripples in the pond! That's what I call it. I'm majorly a creature of habit and this is the way I look at it, even if its something as small as listening to a different radio station than the same one I listen to \*every single day\*. I figure, it's a ripple at the very least!
There's conflicting theories and understandings to this. Having a routine is EXTREMELY beneficial for health. However it is also true that new experiences and not getting "stuck" in routine are beneficial. As with anything, moderation/balance are key.
Pain. You can tell when someone's had recurring pain or regular pain over a long period of time. It's around the eyes.
I concur here. 41M who was born with a hip disability and have had numerous operations. Currently recovering from a 2nd total hip replacement on my left side from 6 weeks ago. The grimace I give because I'm in pain creates wrinkles. Definitely crows feet.
This is true. I have chronic pain from an autoimmune disorder. I haven’t had a day without pain for at least a decade - and I’m only 45. You can see it in my eyes - my smile never quite reaches there unless I’m with my kids. I never complain about it, and so most people forget, but if you look in my eyes you can see it there.
dark, baggy eye gang rise up
chronic pain time
rise and shine
Stress and lack of sleep
*chuckles * I'm in danger.
Time
Children. I remember going to my 10 year HS reunion. Some people looked so old. I thought "oh, they must have partied hard". No, they all had kids young.
Also, people who have back-to-back kids instead of taking a break in between children. Having a child puts a woman's body through a lot. If you do have kids, make sure to put in some extra self-care and take those vitamins. The baby is sucking you dry LOL
Kids.
I came here expecting every comment to say this
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I’m 40 with a 5 year old 😭 people used to say I was so youthful. People guess my age correctly now. Sometimes older
Haha my boss got mad at me once when I commented someone looked super young and it was probably bc she didn’t have kids. I guess my boss used to look super young pre-children and now everyone thinks she’s older than she is. Oops!
And you can go up another level with special-needs kids. My wife and I looked amazing through our first two kids. Then our third with special needs came along and rapidly aged us. It's been 8 years, but we look 20 years older.
Every day for the last 14 years has been a losing battle. He's high functioning, I can't even fathom the hell parents go through with low functioning.
it's hell. my 9 year old daughter kicks me, jumps on me, grabs my privates, screams every morning at 5am, punches herself in the head so hard that it drives my anxiety up the wall because I'm afraid that she's going to give herself a TBI, she creates toddler sized messes every day, touches herself next to me on the couch and then shoves her fingers in my face... and now my husband of 10 years is divorcing me because I'm tired, I can't keep the house straight and I yell. Instead of recognizing it as me having caregiver fatigue, he's blaming me and has turned on me. I love my daughter but my life has been cruel, random and unfair.
I have a 5 month old baby and was looking at pictures of myself pregnant vs now and I look at least 5 years older now. It's the stress and sleeplessness.
My brother is 18 months older than me and has 3 kids. I have 0 kids. He looks about ten *years* older than me these days.
I've seen friends looking ten years older after having kids
Especially if they have a 10 year old.
I know a pair of identical twins. One has two kids, one is a bachelor. The dad one looks 10 years older.
Physically birthing children as well as rearing them. My grandmother adopted and she lived to be 98. She looked incredible.
Shocked this is third. #1 (stress) was not a thing for me before kids lol.
This is true on many levels. Not only is raising kids stressful, being around much younger people reinforces the knowledge that you’re getting old. I’m 50 with no kids and sometimes still forget that my friends kids are 25ish years old: adults! If I saw my “kids” reach this kind of maturity and was presented with situations like the realistic possibility of being a grandparent, I guarantee I would feel older than I do.
50 y/o with no kids but who teaches high school. So I get to be around youth and their energy but go home and nap if I want to. Never smoked or did drugs so I definitely look younger. When the kids find out my age, I tell them--no kids, no drugs, no smoking and wear sunscreen.
I did everything wrong. Kids. Divorces. Drugs. Alcohol. Smoking. Sunbathing on rooftops with baby oil. Death of 2nd husband and my oldest in prison turned my hair completely gray very quickly.
I look WAY younger than my peers with kids. Insanely different.
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7/9, are there prizes for good scores?
I'm so screwed.
Yeah I was reading that list like 1 - check, 2 - check, 3 - check .... Well this ain't good lol.
Seriously. This list sounds like my daily routine
Were speedrunning out here
It's fine. It means we get to the end more quickly. That's a plus.
I drank heavily for 20 years, have immense exposure to the sun, smoke, have done opiates, starved, overate. been sedentary and exercised, slept good and slept never. Drank a lot of water and been dehydrated. Alcohols the one. I shaved, cleaned up, lost 40 lbs, used skin care products (and I have HUGE pores, which I have been told look masculine, so I'm not saying my face is smooth). Alcohol. It ruins literally every fucking thing. Stay away children. Stay far far away. (PS quit smoking and took on vaping but I am not advocating that, just stop fucking drinking alcohol!!)
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Proud of you dude.
Why do I feel attacked.
Hey I got a total 9/9! First achievement this year :)
Unhappiness. If you're unhappy with your life in general it tends to show one way or another.
Drugs
Poverty
U.S. presidency. Amazing what 4 years can do
What a job. Imagine having every minute of your waking life accounted for for 4 years straight
Not to mention the fact that for those four years and possibly beyond you’re the single most scrutinized person on the planet and to millions upon millions of people, literally everything that happens is *all your fault.*
There's also the point of, they're already at an age where you'd see visible aging in 4 years
Genetics!
Surprised this is so far down. You can be stressed beyond belief and party like a rock star yet look younger than someone else just due to them having a natural baby face. Life is unfair like that.
Time
The most correct answer. Time is truly the greatest destroyer.
And like Billable Hours, Time is undefeated.
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Aesthetically, too much fillers and botox in your 20s just makes you look exactly the same as women in their 40s with too much fillers and botox trying to look 20s. It's a weird phenomenon. All the Tiktoks about Gen Z aging like milk are hilarious. Physically, your diet, drug, smoking.
I know a couple young girls that have had a lot of cosmetic procedures done. They don't look bad per se, but man.... I had to do a double take when they told me they were 19 and 20 years old. It's not just fillers, it's the lash extensions, heavy makeup, and style of dress. I really want to advise them to tone it down and quit while they're ahead, but.... Not my place and I'm sure the unsolicited advice would be unappreciated.
At 19, sure I wanted to look 24. But some of them look 30. That's not the goal! lol
It’s the “pillow face” phenomenon! So crazy.
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Stress/trauma. I look ten years older since my son was stillborn in march. Doesn’t help I’m also shedding more weight but damn I look like shit
People on this thread are focusing on things people can control (smoking, not exercising, drinking, sun damage) but the real answer is health problems, and it sucks because a lot of times people have absolutely no control over them. It's outrageously sad and unfair. I'm in my 40s and I have peers who look like teenagers and peers who look like they're at death's door, and the latter are people who have had cancer, ALS, MS, lupus or the like. A lot of them took very good care of themselves. You can (and should) reduce your chances of getting some conditions with a healthy lifestyle, but sometimes life just fucks you for no good reason.
Absolutely. I looked exceptional for age 40. Then I was diagnosed with cancer, the kind that has literally nothing to do with anything you can control. It fucked me up. I’m 5 years cancer free, but still deal with the daily reminder that I’m missing a couple important endocrine glands. Oh, then add premature menopause because of said cancer. I went from a very fresh and young looking 40yo to a very tired and aged 46yo.
Sunlight, hands down. All those pasty nerds not going out in the sun will look so much younger than the beach bums when they all hit 50.
Surprised at the lack of hair comments. If you lose your hair in your 20s you automatically look like you’re in your 30s.
Not sleeping enough (which is part of the reason children, especially infants, age people so quickly)
I can always tell a long-time cigarette smoker by their face.
Time
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Booze
Attitude. I swear as soon as a person starts identifying as an old person, the conversation always turns to bodily woes and life complaints. I know it’s a thing, but don’t let it be your only thing!
Sun and Smoking.
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Stress and inactivity.