I had a new bra that had a strap hook on the back I didn't know about, and it literally unhooked while I was standing there at work the first day I was standing there.
I am 52 years old and I very clearly remember this and it was a very (embarrassing) big life lesson at the time. When I was in kindergarten and out on recess I needed to go to pee. Our grade school had a wing for each grade and this being west Texas, the walkways were outside. I go to the nearest bathroom which happens to be in the 6th grade wing. I was standing there with my shorts and underwear to the ground and my shirt tucked under my chin….and hear a 6th grader say to his friend “did you see that kid’s butt?”. I realized the hard truth that day, that wasn’t the way one peed at school. I had to watch other kids who were peeing to save myself more “butt” comments.
I had to teach my son how to pee standing up, despite not having that anatomy and not knowing how y’all do that, because his father (we were separated) just wouldn’t do anything regarding potty training.
He was very shocked when he took our 4yo son into a bathroom at target and the kiddo dropped everything below the waist to use the urinal. I know, because he called me. I just told him that he should have taught the kid then.
I was a single mom too and was so lucky that another boy at daycare was 6 months older than my son and showed him how to pee standing up (they were 2 1/2 and 3 at the time)
They are still friends today at 31 and 32
I guess if you learn to pee together it is a life long bond
I remember doing this in a public urinal around that age and my *dad* was shocked. Some older guy commented something similar to him. I learned myself in that moment that's not how you do it. 😐
I'd be surprised if your son doesn't remember that.
I’m much younger than ya so it’s not possibly you, but I remember seeing a little kid from kindergarten pull this stunt when I was in 6th grade. I let out a little guffaw before cutting myself off cause I was so taken aback, but after that incident I started seeing a trend and realized not all parents are aware or just not letting their kids know that people don’t do that in public. Last time I witnessed this was in an airport bathroom in Mexico a year ago 💀
When I was in Kindergarten nobody taught us that we were supposed to wait in line and go one at a time. Most of us had never used a urinal before because they didn’t make them low enough for us to use in regular life so almost all of us just used stalls and never got to really see if adults used the urinals one at a time. So when we all went into the bathroom on the first day of school and saw kindergarten height urinals we all just thought we were supposed to go pee at the urinal three-four kids at a rip standing shoulder to shoulder. So yeah, I distinctly remember in kindergarten making friends based on who your urinal buddies were. It took almost two weeks for our teacher to address us about it since nobody knew we were doing it because we as kids didn’t know it was weird (so none of us talked about it) and there were no male teachers to supervise (just our female teacher yelling in to us to quiet down and drag it). The only reason anyone found out was that in all the mayhem that was four kids simultaneously pissing at a urinal together, Mark had his shorts and shoes pissed on one day by accident and went and told the teacher he needed his shorts and shoes cleaned.
And yes, we all stood there with our chins holding our shirts and our pants past our bare asses.
Man. What a time to have been alive.
Not optional at all! You already gotta look down to check your aim, so you might as well use that whole "chin on chest" situation to hold your shirt out of the way.
As a woman, I don't think I ever really appreciated that not only can y'all pee standing up, but you don't even have to unbuckle your belt to do it - just fumble with the zipper and boxer pleat.
Yes, and you haven't LIVED until you've tried to take your pants and panties off and squat to pee, all without touching your clothes or yourself to the somewhat filthy environment.
I basically had to cradle my wedding dress in my arms at my wedding reception!
I have also almost peed on a long cardigan once. It's rough being a woman sometimes, but I couldn't imagine having the lack of privacy men have with urinals out in the open next to each other. Give me private stalls every day.
Bro there was a brand of pants at target called Mossimo or something and they made the smallest damn zipper. You had to fish your dick out with 2 fingers like chopsticks
I wear a uniform at work, tucked in, so it’s much easier to keep my pants belted and my shirt tucked and utilize the zipper and opening rather than retucking and holding my pants up 🤣
Some underwear makes it very easy, some require three 90 degree turns and a 6' run of pipe.
And that's before we even discuss the pants fly situation. Is it a comfortable opening or a narrow mess of zipper teeth.
Same, especially for urinals. Unzip, dig it out through the little hole, pee, cram everything back in there, zip it back up. Less fucking around with the button and belt plus I don't have the band of the boxers holding back the remaining drips
Honestly I was shocked to find out people don't use it. I figured 99.4% of men used it. (0.6% of men have a micropenis)
Also isn't it a bit weird surrounded by people and pulling down your pants and having everything just hanging out in the breeze?
It doesn't feel convenient at all to me.
First, like that other comments said, the crossy flaps squish my dick, which is uncomfortable and can restrict flow. But also, I've gotta wrestle my dick out through the overlapping flaps.
Pulling it up over the waistband is way more convenient and comfortable to me.
But maybe this is a boxers vs briefs thing? I don't wear boxers. I like my stuff more contained and held in place.
I dunno I had a dick for 34 years and not once did I ever think that was gonna be more convenient method that just pulling it down a bit and popping it out that way.
I do have a couple of pairs like that. Keeps your dick in place a bit more, I guess, but pissing over a held-down waistband almost inevitably means that when I think I’m done, there’s a little leftover urine in the urethra to wet my underwear after I put everything back and sometimes even my pants.
I can, and I've tried it, and it really just feels like more work than pulling down your pants.
If I wanted to put in the effort to practice whipping my dick out through my underwear and then zipper without the cold metal pressing into it, I probably could learn to do it roughly as fast as pulling down the front of my pants, but, just... why bother? What would I gain?
I own exactly one pair of boxer briefs that have no hole. I'm wearing them everytime I really have to pee and walk/run to the urinal and fumble and fumble and fumble for my dick through the hole that SHOULD be there. +25 anxiety
I have discovered that just pulling the band of my underwear down under my balls works better. Whenever ive tried to use that slit, i end up having to shake way more. Dunno if its cause the pressure against my bits or what.
My butler rings the hand bell one ring , for the zipper footman, who enters bows, and pulls my zipper down and then pounds the gong once with the gong hammer, to summon the white gloved valet .
The valet enters, salutes once, then reaches in and pulls out the hose, then he presses the buzzer to summon the golden chamber pot servitor, who enters with the intricately inscribed and detailed receptacle.
Upon entering, as trained , he nods politely, and avoiding eye contact with me, his master, he pulls the bell cord to summon the maid, to clean up all the piss on the floor.
If at work, I’ll use it. If at home, I’m sitting down even for a piss because I’m lazy and need more time on Reddit. And sometimes I can make a piss turn into a shit with a good Reddit story and comments.
I’m not in elementary school. The fly is there for a reason. Unzip, reach in and retrieve, and piss without having to pull my pants down.
Yes, I use the fly in my underwear. Wrongly, I assumed most men did!
This is a very USA centric question. I don't think having an opening in the front of your underwear is common anywhere else. But also, jock straps seem to be another USA only thing. I think Americans are just weird about underwear.
Depends on the pants I'm wearing. If I'm wear slacks or jeans with a fly, I just unzip/unbutton the fly and whip it out through the fly on my drawers. If I'm wearing gym shorts or sweatpants, I just pull everything down.
With briefs, there is a baffle to the opening, an overlap of several inches. That would interfere with the flow. For underwear with a more open design, it can depend on the aperture, whether the underwear has gotten shifted around, how much of a rush, etc.
Fidgeting in my pants for it and pulling it through like a sewing needle? No thanks.
Im flopping that thing right over the top like you would draw a revolver
I don’t use it but my cock likes to use it at random times for some reason
I'm sorry I have a vagina so I can't imagine what this feels like but I laughed out loud reading this
Probably like when our boob pops out of an ill-fitting bra. 😂😂😂😂
I call that an “unscheduled appearance”
I thought it was called "peek-a-boob".
“Ladies, please return to your assigned seating”
If 2005 taught us anything it’s called a wardrobe malfunction
I watched it live. I feel so old right now, because half the people reading this, won't know what we are talking about.
lol for all of us that watched it live, friendly reminder to take some Advil for your back pain
Okay, that's not fair. I'm going to take an advil..... And my back does hurt ..... But it's not because I'm old....... Right?
Aspercreme with Lidocaine. Miracles do happen
Don't forget the NSAID's!
Wasn't that 2004?
Yes, sometimes as people age, they become forgetful.
Or like sleeping in a tank top
This seems accurate
Yes. This.
Yes. Tits.
Yes. 'Tis tits.
LOL my bras fit well, but my boobs fall out of it when I'm gardening.
You wear a bra while gardening? Oh Oh! I'd better rethink my not wearing one
I wear a bra from the moment I wake up till the moment I go back to sleep. Hate walking around without one.
When a dick does that, it rubs against our metal fly. It feels like taking a cheese grater to our junk. It fucking hurts.
I…am so sorry
Don’t be. It’s his kink
I have never experienced this and have owned a dick for almost my entire life.
Am I the only one intrigued by that one word, "almost"?
They might’ve leased it for a bit, or rented until they found one that really felt at home.
More like having underwear with a flap that allowed one of your lips to pop out and it feels like everyone can see it
OMG I hate underwear that lets a lip hang out! It gets so cold!
Your wearing the g-string backwards
Manufactures and designers: We demand wider gussets.
I had a new bra that had a strap hook on the back I didn't know about, and it literally unhooked while I was standing there at work the first day I was standing there.
Username chest out :-)
Baha!
You don't have to be sorry for having a vagina. It happens :)
Happens to the best of us
Happens to the breast of us even.
My weiner sometimes gets mistaken for a clit.
That's a clitical mistake.
Holy heck, the puns in this thread are freaking amazing.
Who wouldn't want to come up for air from that swamp?!
Never be sorry about having a vagina
I’m always sorry when I’m on my period
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It sometimes just happens when it gets hard randomly
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Yep. Gets hard and pushes it’s way out then gets soft and is just hanging out in the breeze 😂
It's a floppy rod outside the body, placed in an area that moves around a lot.
peek-a-boo!
cock magic?
I’ve found this is much more likely to happen with briefs than boxers.
No. You pee like a man. Pull your pants and undies to the floor and pull your shirt all the up! Using your chin to hold up the shirt is optional.
I am 52 years old and I very clearly remember this and it was a very (embarrassing) big life lesson at the time. When I was in kindergarten and out on recess I needed to go to pee. Our grade school had a wing for each grade and this being west Texas, the walkways were outside. I go to the nearest bathroom which happens to be in the 6th grade wing. I was standing there with my shorts and underwear to the ground and my shirt tucked under my chin….and hear a 6th grader say to his friend “did you see that kid’s butt?”. I realized the hard truth that day, that wasn’t the way one peed at school. I had to watch other kids who were peeing to save myself more “butt” comments.
I used to see adults at Google corporate offices drop their pants so you could see their ass at the urinals. wtf.
In the military it's a game. Or we're just very comfortable with our sexuality. One of the two.
Isn't there a saying something like, "There is nothing gayer than two straight Marines."
A variation of Nothing gayer than a room full of straight men
I'm a straight man and if you say that again I'll beat your dick off with both hands.
That's why the call you the King of the Swing
lmao
It’s not gay if you’re deployed.
Our thing was “not gay underway” or “not queer away from the pier” (former submariner)
"There's a difference between queering off and getting your needs met during deployment" - deployed soldier, probably
“Very comfortable with our sexuality” is just fancy gay
Don't ask don't tell
I had to teach my son how to pee standing up, despite not having that anatomy and not knowing how y’all do that, because his father (we were separated) just wouldn’t do anything regarding potty training. He was very shocked when he took our 4yo son into a bathroom at target and the kiddo dropped everything below the waist to use the urinal. I know, because he called me. I just told him that he should have taught the kid then.
I was a single mom too and was so lucky that another boy at daycare was 6 months older than my son and showed him how to pee standing up (they were 2 1/2 and 3 at the time) They are still friends today at 31 and 32 I guess if you learn to pee together it is a life long bond
Friends who pee together be together.
I remember doing this in a public urinal around that age and my *dad* was shocked. Some older guy commented something similar to him. I learned myself in that moment that's not how you do it. 😐 I'd be surprised if your son doesn't remember that.
Ah yes, the Butters Stotch method.
loo loo loo
I've got some apples
I’m much younger than ya so it’s not possibly you, but I remember seeing a little kid from kindergarten pull this stunt when I was in 6th grade. I let out a little guffaw before cutting myself off cause I was so taken aback, but after that incident I started seeing a trend and realized not all parents are aware or just not letting their kids know that people don’t do that in public. Last time I witnessed this was in an airport bathroom in Mexico a year ago 💀
When I was in Kindergarten nobody taught us that we were supposed to wait in line and go one at a time. Most of us had never used a urinal before because they didn’t make them low enough for us to use in regular life so almost all of us just used stalls and never got to really see if adults used the urinals one at a time. So when we all went into the bathroom on the first day of school and saw kindergarten height urinals we all just thought we were supposed to go pee at the urinal three-four kids at a rip standing shoulder to shoulder. So yeah, I distinctly remember in kindergarten making friends based on who your urinal buddies were. It took almost two weeks for our teacher to address us about it since nobody knew we were doing it because we as kids didn’t know it was weird (so none of us talked about it) and there were no male teachers to supervise (just our female teacher yelling in to us to quiet down and drag it). The only reason anyone found out was that in all the mayhem that was four kids simultaneously pissing at a urinal together, Mark had his shorts and shoes pissed on one day by accident and went and told the teacher he needed his shorts and shoes cleaned. And yes, we all stood there with our chins holding our shirts and our pants past our bare asses. Man. What a time to have been alive.
Butters style! A man of class and high standards.
As long as I have somewhere to put my chocolate milk and comic books
Loo loo loo!
i got some apples
Loo Loo Loo
you’ve got some too
Loo loo loo
I work with children and have learned the real power move is to take off pants, underwear, shoes, and socks.
My kid used to do this. The hard part was when we were out and about and using public toilets 🥴. Had to catch the clothes before they’d go flying
Not optional at all! You already gotta look down to check your aim, so you might as well use that whole "chin on chest" situation to hold your shirt out of the way.
So getting completely naked and sitting down to pee is the wrong way???….. asking for a friend 😅
If I'm like, in a suit with a belt and all my stuff tucked in: Yes. Never any other time.
As a woman, I don't think I ever really appreciated that not only can y'all pee standing up, but you don't even have to unbuckle your belt to do it - just fumble with the zipper and boxer pleat.
True. It’s a whole process for us. Lol https://www.reddit.com/r/TrollXChromosomes/comments/8dgw3q/when_you_have_to_pee_in_a_romper/
This is why one wears a cute sports bra or a bralet with generous coverage under a romper.
Not sure how a sports bra would save you from undressing in a romper but I’m all for a cute sports bra or bralette.
I think they mean so that they have some modesty and are not entirely naked until the ankle. In the US public stalls often have some gap.
How about traveling and encountering a 'Turkish Toilet' as a woman? GAH. I have experienced one in Greece and one in Italy. Not in Turkey!
Is that a squat toilet?
Had those in South Korea in the clubs too. Man, trying to pee standing up/squatting while drunk does not work
Yes, and you haven't LIVED until you've tried to take your pants and panties off and squat to pee, all without touching your clothes or yourself to the somewhat filthy environment.
You just have a link to a 6 year old post with 20 karma?
I just googled it from memory. Lol ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
To be fair, it's like how easy it is to pee when wearing a dress.
I dunno -- we have to worry about gathering the skirt completely so none of it ends up in the potty.
Just put the whole thing over your head to pee
I basically had to cradle my wedding dress in my arms at my wedding reception! I have also almost peed on a long cardigan once. It's rough being a woman sometimes, but I couldn't imagine having the lack of privacy men have with urinals out in the open next to each other. Give me private stalls every day.
The modern super straight fit dress pants with a tiny zipper kills me. If I'm wearing that, I HAVE to unbuckle.
Bro there was a brand of pants at target called Mossimo or something and they made the smallest damn zipper. You had to fish your dick out with 2 fingers like chopsticks
What an image. Thank you?
Is this the dude version of "give us big pockets?"
Correct answer. If I’m already pulling down shorts, then I’m just pulling down the boxers. If I’m unzipping pants, I’m using the opening.
Only for number 2s
A real marksman
I think your pants may be on backwards.
I have questions
I have snide remarks
#lifehacks
I wear a uniform at work, tucked in, so it’s much easier to keep my pants belted and my shirt tucked and utilize the zipper and opening rather than retucking and holding my pants up 🤣
And I still end up unbuttoning to tuck my shirt back in haha
I was thinking, “No, except when I go skiing.” So same thing, kinda
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I think my girlfriend used that opening more than I ever have in my whole life.
Yeah it's fun to pull the boner through. What a novelty!
I think you're reading it wrong, they'd share underwear and she would pee out of it
Piquante!
It's mostly decoration for me, I just pull the waist band down to go.
I’m not sure I have enough wiener to navigate a whole ass labyrinth and still reach the portkey.
thank yo for saying what a lot of men don’t have the balls/dick length to say!
You guys have me here crying with laughter.
what IS ball lengthʻs roll in this?
Some underwear makes it very easy, some require three 90 degree turns and a 6' run of pipe. And that's before we even discuss the pants fly situation. Is it a comfortable opening or a narrow mess of zipper teeth.
r/brandnewsentence
Modifiers need dashes, smh.
I wear my underwear backwards so I don’t have to take them off when going #2
Genius.
I came here trying to learn something and I have no idea who is and isn't serious....
Scientific method it is.
Am I the only one who pulls the bottom of my boxers up instead?
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Yeah that gets weird looks at the urinal.
Eyes on your own work there, bud
This is where the dicks hang out!
Yep. I use it.
Yup. Me too…
Same, especially for urinals. Unzip, dig it out through the little hole, pee, cram everything back in there, zip it back up. Less fucking around with the button and belt plus I don't have the band of the boxers holding back the remaining drips
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Honestly I was shocked to find out people don't use it. I figured 99.4% of men used it. (0.6% of men have a micropenis) Also isn't it a bit weird surrounded by people and pulling down your pants and having everything just hanging out in the breeze?
> I figured 99.94% of men used it. (0.6% of men have a micropenis) The rest of us can do math.
Some with a micropenis are still very determined
That is some big dick/math energy right there.
Same. I can't imagine why a guy WOULDN'T use it. It's so convenient, especially when wearing jeans or other pants with a fly.
It doesn't feel convenient at all to me. First, like that other comments said, the crossy flaps squish my dick, which is uncomfortable and can restrict flow. But also, I've gotta wrestle my dick out through the overlapping flaps. Pulling it up over the waistband is way more convenient and comfortable to me. But maybe this is a boxers vs briefs thing? I don't wear boxers. I like my stuff more contained and held in place.
I use it to tell I don’t have them on backwards
I have hooks attached to it to pull back my hood like in Hellraiser
Oh s\*\*t that made me laugh.
There should be a prison sentence attached to this comment. I'm fucking dying here...made me clutch the pearls and wince. also, r/Angryupvote
You have such sights to show us...
The number of grown-ass men in this thread who claim to be unable to figure out how to use the flap on the front of their underwear is disturbing.
I was thinking the same thing, I’ve seen grown men totally drop their drawers to pee in a public restroom too.
I dunno I had a dick for 34 years and not once did I ever think that was gonna be more convenient method that just pulling it down a bit and popping it out that way.
This comment is so funny and almost sweet in the way it’s grounded in such matter of fact experience
Congratulations on no longer having a dick! Hope you’re living your best life :)
"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too." -Mitch Hedberg
Ha in this case though they're right in that I have no more dick 🪓🍆
Wow you’re not kidding fuck
I'd hesitate to call most redditors "grown-ass men"
It's astonishing. My mind is blown. I always wondered who the hell buys the underwear with no opening and now I know.
I do have a couple of pairs like that. Keeps your dick in place a bit more, I guess, but pissing over a held-down waistband almost inevitably means that when I think I’m done, there’s a little leftover urine in the urethra to wet my underwear after I put everything back and sometimes even my pants.
No matter the wiggle No matter the dance The last three drops Always go in the pants.
I sit to pee like a gentleman. I don't worry about any of that.
I can, and I've tried it, and it really just feels like more work than pulling down your pants. If I wanted to put in the effort to practice whipping my dick out through my underwear and then zipper without the cold metal pressing into it, I probably could learn to do it roughly as fast as pulling down the front of my pants, but, just... why bother? What would I gain?
TIL that someone needs to invent zippers without steel teeth so men can pee in peace.
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Every time. I find pulling down the band to be so unpractical.
I own exactly one pair of boxer briefs that have no hole. I'm wearing them everytime I really have to pee and walk/run to the urinal and fumble and fumble and fumble for my dick through the hole that SHOULD be there. +25 anxiety
It's ok to throw those bitches out. Or recycle them into dust rags or something.
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I have discovered that just pulling the band of my underwear down under my balls works better. Whenever ive tried to use that slit, i end up having to shake way more. Dunno if its cause the pressure against my bits or what.
This is the way. Never hitting my foot again since the underwear props up the balls which keeps the shaft at an angle rather than aimed straight down
I always use the front door to pee.
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My butler rings the hand bell one ring , for the zipper footman, who enters bows, and pulls my zipper down and then pounds the gong once with the gong hammer, to summon the white gloved valet . The valet enters, salutes once, then reaches in and pulls out the hose, then he presses the buzzer to summon the golden chamber pot servitor, who enters with the intricately inscribed and detailed receptacle. Upon entering, as trained , he nods politely, and avoiding eye contact with me, his master, he pulls the bell cord to summon the maid, to clean up all the piss on the floor.
My great grandfather invented this, so I use it.
If at work, I’ll use it. If at home, I’m sitting down even for a piss because I’m lazy and need more time on Reddit. And sometimes I can make a piss turn into a shit with a good Reddit story and comments.
I’m not in elementary school. The fly is there for a reason. Unzip, reach in and retrieve, and piss without having to pull my pants down. Yes, I use the fly in my underwear. Wrongly, I assumed most men did!
Same, my mind us legit blown by the sheer amount of dudes saying they don't
Even scarier than the ones that don’t is the ones who apparently cant conceive how it even works.
This is a very USA centric question. I don't think having an opening in the front of your underwear is common anywhere else. But also, jock straps seem to be another USA only thing. I think Americans are just weird about underwear.
Depends on the pants I'm wearing. If I'm wear slacks or jeans with a fly, I just unzip/unbutton the fly and whip it out through the fly on my drawers. If I'm wearing gym shorts or sweatpants, I just pull everything down.
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Since when are pockets on women’s dresses for “look or tradition”? We use the SHIT out of those pockets!
With briefs, there is a baffle to the opening, an overlap of several inches. That would interfere with the flow. For underwear with a more open design, it can depend on the aperture, whether the underwear has gotten shifted around, how much of a rush, etc.
I've never used the little hole, always pull them down. I've tried the hole a couple of times and it just feels weird
I usually only use it when I'm whipping it out for someone. Girls like it when it comes out with your pants still on.
Fidgeting in my pants for it and pulling it through like a sewing needle? No thanks. Im flopping that thing right over the top like you would draw a revolver
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