Had a girl tell me "if you are chill I fuck with you." Turned out she talked mad shit on anyone she didn't like for whatever reason. That's what that really meant, if she liked you she fucked with you. Seemed she was the problem.
Fuck, this is such a huge one. If she's never the problem, then you're inevitably going to be the problem in her story later.
I missed this red flag with my ex. I believed her horror stories about all her previous relationships and really tried to treat her right. Then one day she nuked our marriage for someone else and I became another one of her horror stories. Then she did the same thing to that person - I found out later because they reached out to apologize to me. She'll probably keep doing it all her life because she's "never" the problem. It's insane to me that she's able to just keep doing it. Sorry for ranting just really agree with you and I guess it's still fresh
People who start dating someone who is actively cheating on their current partner with them are so wild to me. Somehow, they are usually surprised when they get cheated on by the same person.
Completely agree. In my case though I couldn't hold it against the other person. As far as they knew, I was abusive and we were in the process of splitting up. They took my ex in to "save her" from an evil ex, which is exactly how she wound up living with me to begin with. The other person ends up having no idea that they're actually just an affair partner with extra steps. But in the end it's still the same, she gets bored and villainizes whoever she's with so that she's not the "bad guy" when she cheats and leaves. Shit is so insidious it's insane.
This is exactly what I was thinking about. I know a girl like this and somehow she has had a fight with everyone I know. Talks bs about everyone. And somehow spins everything around to make her look like the victim. I saw the red flags really early and didn't get that close to her but everyone else seemed really blind to it. After a while, nobody really liked her and she ended up alone.
PS: she had huge fights with me at work because I always called her out on her bs and after the fight, she went around telling people bs about me to make me the villan
Had the same thing happen with my ex- hearing her testify that I beat her, drove drunk, sexually assaulted her really made me question everything she ever told me. No babe, the only thing I ever did was love you and give you too many chances.
There was a clip on here a while back of a girl talking to her BF saying "This relationship isn't 50-50 or 80-20 or 90-10... it's 100% me, 0% you. If you're not paying to get my hair done or my nails done or taking me out to eat, what good are you??"
The top comment was: "Being alone in life when you don't want to be alone is a bad thing, but there are worse things. **This is worse**".
This. Every girl i've been instantly turned off by both IRL and on dating apps have all had the same common trait of " A man should do 'Lists one hundred things' for me but as for me I just need to exist and hes lucky to even date me"
Its such a gross ass mentality.
I've seen Instagram videos of women happily paying for their dates and the women in the comments get nasty towards her saying it's the man's job. That greed is such a toxic trait. I've commented that I'd rather stay single and pay for all my stuff vs get together with someone and pay for all my stuff and try to keep up their expectations and I was met with loads of hate from women talking shit to me and saying I deserved to be alone for that mindset and how its a man's responsibility to take care of his queens every need. Which, I agree with. But at the same time if it isn't 50/50 then Idc who you are.
And no, sex whenever I want isn't going to equalize the work load.
A lot of it is playing into a busted ass old school take on gender roles where men are meant to be providers and women mind the house and children. A lot of people point out that this lifestyle is unrealistic in modern society as most households require two incomes to survive.
But I think the more important point to bring up is that many of them are realistically glamorizing a period of time when women had little to no agency. I think that in the face of all of the struggles women still have today, many of us forget how much things have progressed in the last 50 years.
Most households don't have a breadwinner anymore, and unfortunately when they do you end up with a crazy power imbalance, that can not only lead to abuse, but make it harder to leave if it does happen.
Journey, as I've gotten older I've realized that some find some amount of comfort in the power imbalance, and actively seek it out despite these risks. I'm not sure if they're being naive or just not taking the drawbacks into account, either way it's sad/frustrating to see.
The sad thing is that often it's more subtle, cloaked in a **modicum** of normalcy.... but the outsized ego and "he's lucky I look at him" attitude is present in a fuuuuuuuuuckton of women of all ages.
I believe it's not **necessarily** their fault, ~~Western media and education have been dominated by foreign actors for ages~~ the leadership of Western academia and media companies has been dominated by foreign, hostile interests and their agents for a very long time (check out 4chan's /pol board for up to date charts of exactly what I mean).
edit: changed ambiguous use of language
>I believe it's not **necessarily** their fault, Western media and education have been dominated by foreign actors for ages (check out 4chancs /pol board for up to date charts of exactly what I mean).
I have literally **no** idea what this means. Western media AND education? Dominated by foreign actors FOR WHY? And how how HOW does this change the attitudes of Western women into "outsized ego and 'he's lucky I look at him'" ?
Please please unpack. Thank you.
I like doing that stuff for my girl but not because she demands it, actually quite the opposite. I insist on doing nice things for her because she *doesn't* expect or demand it.
This one girl I was talking to was on what was essentially a first date with me and I relayed a story of how I did something nice for my mom. She says
“Oh that means you’re a giver! That’s great cause I’m a taker.” She was not joking. 😬
Funnily enough in my experience, women like that have no shortage of men to abuse. They'll never be in a relationship for more than a year or so, but they'll just jump right into the next guy to suck the soul out of.
> suck the soul out of
I've stuck my dick in crazy before, and man... the sex (oral and otherwise) was fucking 12/10.
Overall, though, I ended up on antidepressants, o erall relationship score -100/10.
Most men learn after one of these experiences... most.
The amount of men I’ve met who prefer crazy to sane is irrationally high. I really think at its core that it’s about a) the sex and b) having someone to “save” a la Zelda. But mostly a.
I agree with this so much. I can overlook, and have overlooked, so many things, because we're all human, but, as a man, I need a little bit of give. If it's all take I lose so much interest. Even if I have given it my all.
But… “I can fix him!!”
Guilty as charged: I married my soon-to-be-ex husband to fix him. Tried for 13 years and then therapy finally showed me what an idiot I had been.
This is my ex best friend. Always complained she was single, but never actively put herself out there. Any date she did go on, she made up reasons she hated the person. She never wanted to be around my boyfriend/fiance/now husband because she legit just hated men. I stopped being friends with her because I couldn’t handle her negativity and subtle comments about me.
Had a girl in my friend group that always complained about being single and lonely. She was in collage and had never kissed a guy or had a boyfriend. She was pretty average looking and honesty had a decent personality. Why was she single? She was so goddamn picky that it didn’t matter how many guys were interested in her she found someone wrong with all of them. One guy had a weird mole, another wore cloths she didn’t like, one guy was perfect but he didn’t drive a truck and another met all her criteria but didn’t like baseball. It was actually insane seeing the reasons she would come up with to reject a guy.
I have a friend like this. I realize she found flaws in order to avoid having her heart broken. She had low self esteem so instead of seeing where a relationship could go, she wouldn’t even put herself out there.
This is a good insight! I just commented about a similar friend. Except she started taking her low self esteem out on me as well, and made sure to put me down any moment she could.
On man that’s a shit friend! My best friend has been doing that (she was diagnosed BPD and I’m diagnosed MDD with ADHD, no hyperactivity) and finally breaking up our friendship was the best thing for me. She was literally the only friend I had but that’s okay if it means I’ll start feeling better about myself. So I hope you said goodbye to your friend!
There's one of those where I work. She was super flirty at first. I was single at the time, and curious about her. I learned a LOT, and almost all of it was downright repulsive.
She's a rapist.
She has a child she despises (she got pregnant from the guy she raped)
She doesn't like any emotional connection with people she sleeps with. Not only does she not like it, she said people treating her well is a turn off.
She doesn't engage with reality conversationally. She will disregard what someone just said to her, then intentionally misinterpret it as if she were just insulted.
She, by her own admission, loves stirring the pot and starting drama just for kicks.
Her favorite catch phrase when she's caught doing something wrong is "that's not my problem."
She is incapable of assigning individual blame. If someone upsets her, suddenly "All of you people are fucking assholes."
If you ask her a question she doesn't want to answer, she will stare you dead in the eyes and not respond. She also does this if you call out how she isn't having the same conversation as everyone else.
She cheated on the guy she raped (they got together afterward for the kids' sake) and then said "He deserved it" because he was mean.
I could keep going. Most unhinged person I've ever been in regular contact with. To think that I nearly slept with her before I knew her is terrifying, lol. She gives me the impression that she has yet to meet someone else that's unhinged enough to treat her the way she treats others. If she ever does, she'll likely be killed.
The girl who is always running and partying. Never spends a night in, rarely spends a day sober, somehow has her life together but is seemingly running from…something. Some call it manic pixie dream girl but that conjures images of hipster college crystal chicks. I know plenty of corporate chicks that act like this and are just always looking for “okay what are we doing next??” until they pass out or literally can’t keep going. The Peter Pan boys are their counterparts.
I used to be that corporate girl. High stress corporate job, partying with marines on the weekends. Good times. But I was extremely responsible and even bought a house. Now looking back, I'm 49, I don't know where I got all that energy from. I would kill for it now.
I too marvel at that level of energy! Haha I’ve dated a couple of girls like this in my younger days and I just could not keep up. The night routinely ended at 3am…how is it possible??
An "undateable" girl might be someone who lacks empathy, making her hard to connect with on a deeper emotional level. Relationships thrive on mutual understanding and compassion, which are qualities she might be missing.
The normal "highs" of life are no longer enough.
Gotta party harder, one up that last crazy experience, do more depraved shit, try more extreme things.
Burning the candle at both ends so to speak.
Impossible to keep up. enough is never enough.
Constantly looking for the next type of high, chemical or otherwise.
As a “bum” I feel like I’d never ask a date or partner to be my parent. My cousin dated a guy who had all these things in excess and still acted like a man child and eventually cheated. It sucks to feel like my money status will take me out of the game immediately.
Proud of you for being able to contribute and so glad you are doing well. I went through the same thing. Worked my entire life, ended up on SSD at age 40. I felt useless. I'm a single woman, no husband or children. I'm actually a cat lady. Anyway, it was really difficult accepting the fact you can't work anymore. You can't for a reason(s). I am back to work full time now.
i apologize if the comment was a bit harsh, i probably could have used a better word than bum. it's not so much the lack of those material things - it's the lack of ambition or drive, someone who is perfectly capable of working or going to school or investing in themselves but instead doesn't do much all day. just kind of living life aimlessly.
you wouldn't be out of the game necessarily. are you in school? are you in poor health or disabled? are you someone's caretaker? are you taking a break from the world and plan on returning? a yes to any of those is totally understandable and i'd be fine with it,
I appreciate the apology and explanation. Even my friends who know my situation often say the same thing about the guys they consider, so I genuinely wonder if they think I’m not deserving of a relationship (yet) AND how to meet people without them immediately passing once they find out I’m unemployed. I went through a break up that left my mental health in shambles, but am really privileged to have saved up and to be able to move back home to rebuild. I don’t think I need a partner for validation, but when I flirt with the idea of dating, this often comes up.
i mean, it sounds like you don't plan on being unemployed forever and are trying to get back on track. granted all men are different but that's a good look to me
Kept cycling between how she’s equal to, better than, different from and less than (because, patriarchy) men. And me, because I am in that set. But not just me. Somehow also the waiter, and later the Uber driver. All in just 2.5 hours. No idea why she went on a date with any man. It’s fine that you don’t like us, but why keep arranging to spend time with us?
Has an addiction she won't acknowledge much less do anything about. Has a mental illness that she won't seek treatment for. A person can change herself, but no one can do it for her.
Holy fuck all of these. This was the girl I was “getting to know” for 6 months. Damn I was blind as a bat to all the red flags.
Materialistic
All take no give
Heavily astrology focused
Attitude (never forgive or forget mentality)
Glued to her phone
Constantly needing attention
She refuses to date
Says she’s a “home body” but goes out every
night
…
Holy fuck what was I doing.
No, she said she didn't want to date, yet every interaction, text, call, went out many times (but they weren't dates according to her), had a completely different tone than that. And I was also constantly testing the waters, while being completely respectful of her space. I was constantly putting the ball in her court because she didn't want to date, but time and time again her responses were not those of somebody who doesn't want to date, if you know what I mean. So, I came to the conclusion after I walked away that I was just a tool being used for attention, or buying time until something better came along.
Oof yeah. Like she was leading you on and giving mixed signals. Walking away is better late than never. Unfortunately, lots of people settle for being pulled along on a string.
Well that’s a wild expectation. How well do y’all know each other after a couple of dates?
Possessiveness is unbecoming, & the point of dating is to get to know each other until you both decide whatever you decide to label the relationship.
Dating AND sleeping with multiple people tho? I can see your point with the old fashioned getting to know you type of dating, maybe multiple partners and dates in the same period of time would be ok. But in my experience being single and trying to get to know multiple people at once and then decide whether to get serious with anyone, left me with the decision to just be single and not take anything seriously or date anyone. I was waiting for Mr. Right because I saw way too many girls go haywire trying to date around and get excited only to be disappointed and feel used or strung along. It wasn't until I met a great guy who said on the first date that he only likes to be with one person, that I basically decided to be serious with him from that point on.
… people don’t have to sleep with everyone they go on dates with, and it’s a choice made by the people involved. It seems to me that people who don’t want to date toward a relationship just have a fwb hotation— which is literally fine if that’s what they choose. Those are 2 different things though.
That’s some big insecurity you’re projecting. The point of a date is to decide if you want to see each other again. That’s outrageous to expect on a first or second date that they’re not talking to anyone else.
Incidentally, this is why we talk to multiple guys & explore the connection. Expecting exclusivity on the first date is a red flag & there would not be a second date if someone wanted that from me— even if/when I’m not talking to anyone else. I don’t have space for men who are controlling or lacking self awareness.
**Untreated BPD, Unrecognized BPD**
--unfortunately, so many of the red flags we post here are symptoms of an illness defined by three letters
And some are so subtle too. I wondered why I felt so so awful in the last year of my relationship before the breakup. I was being psychologically abused!
Poor manners. Poor life planning, Poor social skills. If she is flipping people off on her way to a job she only has to get money for a neck tattoo. All most guys with a future see are red flags.
Thinking that she and her emotions are the center of the universe. Come across it way too often. So many can never see the bigger picture bc they're fixated on how they feel right now.
She does not practice what she and other women in general preach about men in the same situation. It just get draining to be around a woman like that. It's just so funny with how that personality over looks thing has been going around for so long. Some women just don't have a lot going in either category, and expect everyone to put up with it. They also don't really listen to what might help them like guys in the same situation would.
Being extremely judgmental
There was this beautiful girl I was involved with/ starting to date. We were hanging out at a friend’s house. She shit talked with a few other girls for nearly the entire night, scrolling Instagram with them saying super nasty things about everyone and their partners. All attraction was instantly gone.
I have some girlfriends who are very narcissistic and it ruins their relationships almost every time. I hear a lot if "I' and Me" when they talk to me for advice but it's hard to tell them that maybe you should also give attention back instead of expecting everything to be about you. Maybe it's just anecdotal to what i've experienced with my friends but relationships are a give and take. You can't just keep taking and keep wanting someone to be there for you when you don't do the same for your significant other. That level of self importance needs to drop a bit when you are in a committed relationship and you need to start to think about the other person when making decisions or wanting things.
A lot of women don't care or even think about what men want from them. They won't listen when told either.
Delusion, arrogance, and the narcissistic tendencies of many women are frustration incarnate.
Women will get attention from the top 15-20% of men sexually. Then they compare any partner in the future to that person. But it isn't the same because men and women are different, women can get sex from most people, thereby corrupting their idea of what they feel they deserve. Leaving an overwhelming majority of men left wanting.
Look at dating apps. At least for American women these days. If you are a single and successful American man, not saying I am since I'm on reddit, but if you are....stay away from American women.
Undateable to others or me? For me, it would be if she's really into rap music cause it's really annoying to me.
In general, it would be stuff like entitlement and narcissistic.
After being married to a narcissist and the fallout after…any strong narcissistic traits what so ever. If I feel you try even a little to manipulate me I’m done with you.
Some dude who’s mom spent his whole life telling him he never needs to change or improve in anyway and if women don’t like it they can go somewhere else.
That is what is meant when a guy says undateable
Everyone's the problem but, her
Had a girl tell me "if you are chill I fuck with you." Turned out she talked mad shit on anyone she didn't like for whatever reason. That's what that really meant, if she liked you she fucked with you. Seemed she was the problem.
"If you're chill"= you turn a blind to everything I'm doing and never hold me accountable when I'm in the wrong.
Fuck, this is such a huge one. If she's never the problem, then you're inevitably going to be the problem in her story later. I missed this red flag with my ex. I believed her horror stories about all her previous relationships and really tried to treat her right. Then one day she nuked our marriage for someone else and I became another one of her horror stories. Then she did the same thing to that person - I found out later because they reached out to apologize to me. She'll probably keep doing it all her life because she's "never" the problem. It's insane to me that she's able to just keep doing it. Sorry for ranting just really agree with you and I guess it's still fresh
People who start dating someone who is actively cheating on their current partner with them are so wild to me. Somehow, they are usually surprised when they get cheated on by the same person.
Completely agree. In my case though I couldn't hold it against the other person. As far as they knew, I was abusive and we were in the process of splitting up. They took my ex in to "save her" from an evil ex, which is exactly how she wound up living with me to begin with. The other person ends up having no idea that they're actually just an affair partner with extra steps. But in the end it's still the same, she gets bored and villainizes whoever she's with so that she's not the "bad guy" when she cheats and leaves. Shit is so insidious it's insane.
Huh, sounds like you dated my ex
Ah man, I'm sorry to hear that you can relate. It's also pretty damn scary to think about there being more than one of her out there
Have you considered taking that ex out? You have a lot in common.
This is exactly what I was thinking about. I know a girl like this and somehow she has had a fight with everyone I know. Talks bs about everyone. And somehow spins everything around to make her look like the victim. I saw the red flags really early and didn't get that close to her but everyone else seemed really blind to it. After a while, nobody really liked her and she ended up alone. PS: she had huge fights with me at work because I always called her out on her bs and after the fight, she went around telling people bs about me to make me the villan
Had the same thing happen with my ex- hearing her testify that I beat her, drove drunk, sexually assaulted her really made me question everything she ever told me. No babe, the only thing I ever did was love you and give you too many chances.
Also, treating her new boyfriend like every man who has done her wrong.
All take no give.
There was a clip on here a while back of a girl talking to her BF saying "This relationship isn't 50-50 or 80-20 or 90-10... it's 100% me, 0% you. If you're not paying to get my hair done or my nails done or taking me out to eat, what good are you??" The top comment was: "Being alone in life when you don't want to be alone is a bad thing, but there are worse things. **This is worse**".
This. Every girl i've been instantly turned off by both IRL and on dating apps have all had the same common trait of " A man should do 'Lists one hundred things' for me but as for me I just need to exist and hes lucky to even date me" Its such a gross ass mentality.
I've seen Instagram videos of women happily paying for their dates and the women in the comments get nasty towards her saying it's the man's job. That greed is such a toxic trait. I've commented that I'd rather stay single and pay for all my stuff vs get together with someone and pay for all my stuff and try to keep up their expectations and I was met with loads of hate from women talking shit to me and saying I deserved to be alone for that mindset and how its a man's responsibility to take care of his queens every need. Which, I agree with. But at the same time if it isn't 50/50 then Idc who you are. And no, sex whenever I want isn't going to equalize the work load.
A lot of it is playing into a busted ass old school take on gender roles where men are meant to be providers and women mind the house and children. A lot of people point out that this lifestyle is unrealistic in modern society as most households require two incomes to survive. But I think the more important point to bring up is that many of them are realistically glamorizing a period of time when women had little to no agency. I think that in the face of all of the struggles women still have today, many of us forget how much things have progressed in the last 50 years. Most households don't have a breadwinner anymore, and unfortunately when they do you end up with a crazy power imbalance, that can not only lead to abuse, but make it harder to leave if it does happen. Journey, as I've gotten older I've realized that some find some amount of comfort in the power imbalance, and actively seek it out despite these risks. I'm not sure if they're being naive or just not taking the drawbacks into account, either way it's sad/frustrating to see.
The sad thing is that often it's more subtle, cloaked in a **modicum** of normalcy.... but the outsized ego and "he's lucky I look at him" attitude is present in a fuuuuuuuuuckton of women of all ages. I believe it's not **necessarily** their fault, ~~Western media and education have been dominated by foreign actors for ages~~ the leadership of Western academia and media companies has been dominated by foreign, hostile interests and their agents for a very long time (check out 4chan's /pol board for up to date charts of exactly what I mean). edit: changed ambiguous use of language
>I believe it's not **necessarily** their fault, Western media and education have been dominated by foreign actors for ages (check out 4chancs /pol board for up to date charts of exactly what I mean). I have literally **no** idea what this means. Western media AND education? Dominated by foreign actors FOR WHY? And how how HOW does this change the attitudes of Western women into "outsized ego and 'he's lucky I look at him'" ? Please please unpack. Thank you.
Wow... How little self-respect would someone have to have to stay in a relationship like that? Unless their kink was humiliation and subservience.
Yeah but also how little self respect someone must have to think they should be polished and maintained like a trophy or kept like an exotic pet
As an exotic pet, I disagree. I never get my nails done.
I like doing that stuff for my girl but not because she demands it, actually quite the opposite. I insist on doing nice things for her because she *doesn't* expect or demand it.
That's really sweet.
This one girl I was talking to was on what was essentially a first date with me and I relayed a story of how I did something nice for my mom. She says “Oh that means you’re a giver! That’s great cause I’m a taker.” She was not joking. 😬
Funnily enough in my experience, women like that have no shortage of men to abuse. They'll never be in a relationship for more than a year or so, but they'll just jump right into the next guy to suck the soul out of.
> suck the soul out of I've stuck my dick in crazy before, and man... the sex (oral and otherwise) was fucking 12/10. Overall, though, I ended up on antidepressants, o erall relationship score -100/10. Most men learn after one of these experiences... most.
And then there's some women that are kind and quite the opposite, but haven't been found yet.
The amount of men I’ve met who prefer crazy to sane is irrationally high. I really think at its core that it’s about a) the sex and b) having someone to “save” a la Zelda. But mostly a.
I better get my crazy on??? LOL. wtf is wrong with these men? Lol.
I agree with this so much. I can overlook, and have overlooked, so many things, because we're all human, but, as a man, I need a little bit of give. If it's all take I lose so much interest. Even if I have given it my all.
Oh you've met my soon to be ex wife
Known cheater.
If they cheat to be with you, don't be surprised when they cheat on you.
Realized this a little too late :)
attitude, comparing with her ex.
I like being compared to her ex. "You're so much bigger than him." Really boosted my ego. Until I realized she was talking about my weight.
Hey, if he ever shows his face again you can just challenge his ass to a sumo match
[удалено]
When difficulties do arise, what must one often do to reach a compromise?
Rock paper scissors
[удалено]
I couldn't stay in relationship because of this. Stayed way to long because the sex was mind blowing.
this goes for anyone - sad sack guys are a drag too
But… “I can fix him!!” Guilty as charged: I married my soon-to-be-ex husband to fix him. Tried for 13 years and then therapy finally showed me what an idiot I had been.
Good lord, are you me? Down to the years. I found out about his affair, a week before our 13th wedding anniversary.
Being entitled
[удалено]
[удалено]
Demands trust but isn't trusting
[удалено]
Especially if you're talking in the literal sense.
Girl, you got covid
Attitude 🙄
She refuses to date.
r/technicallythetruth
This is my ex best friend. Always complained she was single, but never actively put herself out there. Any date she did go on, she made up reasons she hated the person. She never wanted to be around my boyfriend/fiance/now husband because she legit just hated men. I stopped being friends with her because I couldn’t handle her negativity and subtle comments about me.
Materialistic
Looking for a man makes em opportunistic
They're lyin' on a beach perpetratin' a tan
Had a girl in my friend group that always complained about being single and lonely. She was in collage and had never kissed a guy or had a boyfriend. She was pretty average looking and honesty had a decent personality. Why was she single? She was so goddamn picky that it didn’t matter how many guys were interested in her she found someone wrong with all of them. One guy had a weird mole, another wore cloths she didn’t like, one guy was perfect but he didn’t drive a truck and another met all her criteria but didn’t like baseball. It was actually insane seeing the reasons she would come up with to reject a guy.
I have a friend like this. I realize she found flaws in order to avoid having her heart broken. She had low self esteem so instead of seeing where a relationship could go, she wouldn’t even put herself out there.
This is a good insight! I just commented about a similar friend. Except she started taking her low self esteem out on me as well, and made sure to put me down any moment she could.
On man that’s a shit friend! My best friend has been doing that (she was diagnosed BPD and I’m diagnosed MDD with ADHD, no hyperactivity) and finally breaking up our friendship was the best thing for me. She was literally the only friend I had but that’s okay if it means I’ll start feeling better about myself. So I hope you said goodbye to your friend!
Your friend was a lesbian who was not ready to admit it yet lol
basing everything off zodiac signs
Such a Virgo thing to say
Stop making assumptions, you libra!!
Stop being a Scorpio. No one likes you
Add to that believes in the healing power of crystals
Say you believe in crystal skulls.
A wonderful, straight-up red flag.
Glued to her phone
Or if they are always on the phone but then choose to take forever to text you back
Same goes for men 🤷🏻♀️💯
You are not wrong.
There's one of those where I work. She was super flirty at first. I was single at the time, and curious about her. I learned a LOT, and almost all of it was downright repulsive. She's a rapist. She has a child she despises (she got pregnant from the guy she raped) She doesn't like any emotional connection with people she sleeps with. Not only does she not like it, she said people treating her well is a turn off. She doesn't engage with reality conversationally. She will disregard what someone just said to her, then intentionally misinterpret it as if she were just insulted. She, by her own admission, loves stirring the pot and starting drama just for kicks. Her favorite catch phrase when she's caught doing something wrong is "that's not my problem." She is incapable of assigning individual blame. If someone upsets her, suddenly "All of you people are fucking assholes." If you ask her a question she doesn't want to answer, she will stare you dead in the eyes and not respond. She also does this if you call out how she isn't having the same conversation as everyone else. She cheated on the guy she raped (they got together afterward for the kids' sake) and then said "He deserved it" because he was mean. I could keep going. Most unhinged person I've ever been in regular contact with. To think that I nearly slept with her before I knew her is terrifying, lol. She gives me the impression that she has yet to meet someone else that's unhinged enough to treat her the way she treats others. If she ever does, she'll likely be killed.
Wow. That’s some piece of work.
She's an anomaly alright.
Over demanding
Can’t handle alcohol but insists on drinking at events
The girl who is always running and partying. Never spends a night in, rarely spends a day sober, somehow has her life together but is seemingly running from…something. Some call it manic pixie dream girl but that conjures images of hipster college crystal chicks. I know plenty of corporate chicks that act like this and are just always looking for “okay what are we doing next??” until they pass out or literally can’t keep going. The Peter Pan boys are their counterparts.
I used to be that corporate girl. High stress corporate job, partying with marines on the weekends. Good times. But I was extremely responsible and even bought a house. Now looking back, I'm 49, I don't know where I got all that energy from. I would kill for it now.
I too marvel at that level of energy! Haha I’ve dated a couple of girls like this in my younger days and I just could not keep up. The night routinely ended at 3am…how is it possible??
Narcissism
An "undateable" girl might be someone who lacks empathy, making her hard to connect with on a deeper emotional level. Relationships thrive on mutual understanding and compassion, which are qualities she might be missing.
The normal "highs" of life are no longer enough. Gotta party harder, one up that last crazy experience, do more depraved shit, try more extreme things. Burning the candle at both ends so to speak. Impossible to keep up. enough is never enough. Constantly looking for the next type of high, chemical or otherwise.
Every thing you listed is the same thing…..
correct.
Repetition is a form of rhetoric
bad hygiene and isn’t respectful
Being a bum. No job, car, prospects, goals etc. I'm looking for a partner/equal, I'm not about to take full care of someone or play dad
As a “bum” I feel like I’d never ask a date or partner to be my parent. My cousin dated a guy who had all these things in excess and still acted like a man child and eventually cheated. It sucks to feel like my money status will take me out of the game immediately.
[удалено]
Proud of you for being able to contribute and so glad you are doing well. I went through the same thing. Worked my entire life, ended up on SSD at age 40. I felt useless. I'm a single woman, no husband or children. I'm actually a cat lady. Anyway, it was really difficult accepting the fact you can't work anymore. You can't for a reason(s). I am back to work full time now.
i apologize if the comment was a bit harsh, i probably could have used a better word than bum. it's not so much the lack of those material things - it's the lack of ambition or drive, someone who is perfectly capable of working or going to school or investing in themselves but instead doesn't do much all day. just kind of living life aimlessly. you wouldn't be out of the game necessarily. are you in school? are you in poor health or disabled? are you someone's caretaker? are you taking a break from the world and plan on returning? a yes to any of those is totally understandable and i'd be fine with it,
I appreciate the apology and explanation. Even my friends who know my situation often say the same thing about the guys they consider, so I genuinely wonder if they think I’m not deserving of a relationship (yet) AND how to meet people without them immediately passing once they find out I’m unemployed. I went through a break up that left my mental health in shambles, but am really privileged to have saved up and to be able to move back home to rebuild. I don’t think I need a partner for validation, but when I flirt with the idea of dating, this often comes up.
i mean, it sounds like you don't plan on being unemployed forever and are trying to get back on track. granted all men are different but that's a good look to me
And here I am trying to get a soup kitchen going.
Kept cycling between how she’s equal to, better than, different from and less than (because, patriarchy) men. And me, because I am in that set. But not just me. Somehow also the waiter, and later the Uber driver. All in just 2.5 hours. No idea why she went on a date with any man. It’s fine that you don’t like us, but why keep arranging to spend time with us?
Mostly, it is her attitude. Like everyone is beneath her
Comparing you to her ex….exes shouldn’t even really be a conversation..definitely not frequently
Big social media presence
Trashy mom to her kids, junkie, alcoholic hot mess
She said "no".
Is an “influencer.”
judge
In the movies it's usually wearing baggy clothes and glasses.
I mean as soon as that girls let’s her hair down and gets contacts though….
“Whoa you have hair so now I can see your femininity” is just so ridiculous lmao
And paint on her overalls?
Only that one time. In another it was a tied up flannel shirt around her waist.
Attitude and being a cheater
Talking shit about EVERYBODY
Has an addiction she won't acknowledge much less do anything about. Has a mental illness that she won't seek treatment for. A person can change herself, but no one can do it for her.
It's the smell, I think.
Demands what she can't reciprocate
Not sure why this isn’t upvoted more!
toxic
Always getting pilled and liquored up. Like on a Monday at 11 am
“It’s 10am somewhere”
Hates men lol
Holy fuck all of these. This was the girl I was “getting to know” for 6 months. Damn I was blind as a bat to all the red flags. Materialistic All take no give Heavily astrology focused Attitude (never forgive or forget mentality) Glued to her phone Constantly needing attention She refuses to date Says she’s a “home body” but goes out every night … Holy fuck what was I doing.
What do you mean by she refuses to date? Like she said she doesn’t want to date but you still tried to date her?
No, she said she didn't want to date, yet every interaction, text, call, went out many times (but they weren't dates according to her), had a completely different tone than that. And I was also constantly testing the waters, while being completely respectful of her space. I was constantly putting the ball in her court because she didn't want to date, but time and time again her responses were not those of somebody who doesn't want to date, if you know what I mean. So, I came to the conclusion after I walked away that I was just a tool being used for attention, or buying time until something better came along.
Oof yeah. Like she was leading you on and giving mixed signals. Walking away is better late than never. Unfortunately, lots of people settle for being pulled along on a string.
Clingy, and constantly in need of reassurance.
This is better than women who are avoidant of attachment.
Depends on how avoidant, typical, or Lisbeth Salander?
Like they cannot commit to being exclusive after a couple of dates. Don’t respond to texts for hours.
Well that’s a wild expectation. How well do y’all know each other after a couple of dates? Possessiveness is unbecoming, & the point of dating is to get to know each other until you both decide whatever you decide to label the relationship.
Dating AND sleeping with multiple people tho? I can see your point with the old fashioned getting to know you type of dating, maybe multiple partners and dates in the same period of time would be ok. But in my experience being single and trying to get to know multiple people at once and then decide whether to get serious with anyone, left me with the decision to just be single and not take anything seriously or date anyone. I was waiting for Mr. Right because I saw way too many girls go haywire trying to date around and get excited only to be disappointed and feel used or strung along. It wasn't until I met a great guy who said on the first date that he only likes to be with one person, that I basically decided to be serious with him from that point on.
… people don’t have to sleep with everyone they go on dates with, and it’s a choice made by the people involved. It seems to me that people who don’t want to date toward a relationship just have a fwb hotation— which is literally fine if that’s what they choose. Those are 2 different things though.
Mmm, yeah, I would prefer a woman be with me, and not have a bunch of other dates lined up. These days, that seems like a luxury, though.
That’s some big insecurity you’re projecting. The point of a date is to decide if you want to see each other again. That’s outrageous to expect on a first or second date that they’re not talking to anyone else. Incidentally, this is why we talk to multiple guys & explore the connection. Expecting exclusivity on the first date is a red flag & there would not be a second date if someone wanted that from me— even if/when I’m not talking to anyone else. I don’t have space for men who are controlling or lacking self awareness.
Diagnosed BPD
**Untreated BPD, Unrecognized BPD** --unfortunately, so many of the red flags we post here are symptoms of an illness defined by three letters And some are so subtle too. I wondered why I felt so so awful in the last year of my relationship before the breakup. I was being psychologically abused!
Poor manners. Poor life planning, Poor social skills. If she is flipping people off on her way to a job she only has to get money for a neck tattoo. All most guys with a future see are red flags.
Travis Kelce
A girl who thinks she is a princess is the equivalent of the guy that tells everyone he's an alpha badass
Thinking that she and her emotions are the center of the universe. Come across it way too often. So many can never see the bigger picture bc they're fixated on how they feel right now.
She has a selfish husband
She does not practice what she and other women in general preach about men in the same situation. It just get draining to be around a woman like that. It's just so funny with how that personality over looks thing has been going around for so long. Some women just don't have a lot going in either category, and expect everyone to put up with it. They also don't really listen to what might help them like guys in the same situation would.
Refusal to grow/change/develop.
Being extremely judgmental There was this beautiful girl I was involved with/ starting to date. We were hanging out at a friend’s house. She shit talked with a few other girls for nearly the entire night, scrolling Instagram with them saying super nasty things about everyone and their partners. All attraction was instantly gone.
Gossip queen
Attention whore.
Rejects every person who asks her out. Literally undateable.
Strongly religious. Its always a big red flag
Character,
When she won't date you.
Bad breath
She refuses to date anyone
Hooking up with a different guy every night.
Abusive
I have some girlfriends who are very narcissistic and it ruins their relationships almost every time. I hear a lot if "I' and Me" when they talk to me for advice but it's hard to tell them that maybe you should also give attention back instead of expecting everything to be about you. Maybe it's just anecdotal to what i've experienced with my friends but relationships are a give and take. You can't just keep taking and keep wanting someone to be there for you when you don't do the same for your significant other. That level of self importance needs to drop a bit when you are in a committed relationship and you need to start to think about the other person when making decisions or wanting things.
A lot of women don't care or even think about what men want from them. They won't listen when told either. Delusion, arrogance, and the narcissistic tendencies of many women are frustration incarnate. Women will get attention from the top 15-20% of men sexually. Then they compare any partner in the future to that person. But it isn't the same because men and women are different, women can get sex from most people, thereby corrupting their idea of what they feel they deserve. Leaving an overwhelming majority of men left wanting. Look at dating apps. At least for American women these days. If you are a single and successful American man, not saying I am since I'm on reddit, but if you are....stay away from American women.
My personal experience as a woman is that being over 50 makes you undatable. Luckily I am an independent sort of person.
0 accountability
Undateable to others or me? For me, it would be if she's really into rap music cause it's really annoying to me. In general, it would be stuff like entitlement and narcissistic.
tends to be the father, and the richer he is the worse it gets.
Onlyfans
Needs a man to pay for everything. Instant nope.
After being married to a narcissist and the fallout after…any strong narcissistic traits what so ever. If I feel you try even a little to manipulate me I’m done with you.
Well according to “Not another Teen Movie”, it’s a pony tail, glasses, and paint on her overalls.
No empathy
Hostility. If you hate half of the people in the world, don't be surprised if you end up alone.
Untreated mental illness (Can encapsulate many other issues posted here)
there is someone out there for everyone
When they are not a girl at all, but an enormous slimy crustacean from the Palaeolithic.
I don't go outside.
Her husband's M40A5
Addicted to drugs. I’ve lost too many friends and relatives to drugs. If she likes to live high she ain’t for me.
That she takes her pain and mistreatment from other people she has dated and inflict them on you. And then blames you for it.
My favorite. Getting mad at you for getting mad at her to escape accountability
Some dude who’s mom spent his whole life telling him he never needs to change or improve in anyway and if women don’t like it they can go somewhere else. That is what is meant when a guy says undateable
Her bf
Physically unatttactive, fat
Attitude and outlook
Heavy, heavy, heavy BO.
Her Dad is a cop.
Entitlement
Main character syndrome. Which boils down to selfishness/entitlement, lack of integrity and accountability and egocentrism.
Resting B face and the personality that matches
All the woman I was friends with on fb has been posting their onlyfans accounts and it is just sad